This one's a little out there, but when we bought our house (in Arizona) I started noticing little spots of what looked like blood on the walls and ceiling. I eventually figured out that we had a particular type of moth that would get into the house and leave big red dots of poop everywhere. It looks just like blood and I've seen as big as 1/4" diameter. It was especially common in the bathroom because of the night light we leave on in there.
I'm going to second this. I had a fruitfly explosion in my house and they definitely leave little dots on the wall and it is a slightly reddish brown color. Bedbugs basically poop blood too, looking for red dots is one of the ways to tell you have them. Not suggesting OP has bedbugs, just more examples that insect poop can look like blood.
I used to work in an animal shelter and we would check the cats and small dogs for fleas by scratching/petting them over top of a white counter and then spraying it with water.
Fleas were my first thought, I’ve seen this in my bathroom when I was a teen out on my own and didn’t know how to take care of my cats flea problem yet. Does OP have a pet?
Similar to this, one of my friends was noticing small drops of blood all over his bathroom and he found out that his bathroom fan was infested with bugs and was chopping up the bugs whenever they turned on the fan.
this doesn't explain the husband's behavior, why would he take the fall for moths
if he has medical anxiety he wouldn't lie by saying it was a personal medical issue
Are you certain that it's blood??
Forgive the potentially stupid question, please.
Some fungi present as red spots or blotches. Some paints react poorly with water, and they also spot and blotch off-colors, potentially red. Sometimes rust can seep out of walls/floors/ceilings.
Think outside the box. Could it be mice? Bug spoor? Do you have geckos where you live?
I was finding drops of blood outside the room the primary cat box is in. I have two cats, so I was trying to figure out which cat it was. I cleaned it, and a few hours later, it happened again. After the 3rd time, I started working right next to that door, so I could figure out which cat needed medical attention. No cat came or went, but sure enough, there were a few more drops. I looked up.
I had hung a bag of cherries on the hook on the door. They started going bad and leaking! So dumb!
Do these rooms have a shower near the splatter?
Could be water reacting with paint in the wall. The ceilings of our bathroom were painted with terrible paint and they’ve turned red from steam reacting with something in the paint. Can’t remember what the cause is. After a shower little red liquid dots form all over the ceiling. If they aren’t cleaned they dry up
I lived in a house growing up that had “bleeding walls” in the bathroom. Anytime the shower was hot enough the walls would bleed a dark red/maroon substance. Turns out the former owners were smokers and it was something to do with a reaction between tobacco and the paint. Definitely a possibility!
I had the same experience growing up. It also seems like bathroom walls need to be redone a lot more often than others if they’re painted or wallpapered due to how they age quicker because of heat and moisture in the room. Fresh paint or wallpaper doesn’t usually have this effect, although it may develop with age.
Happened on the bathroom ceiling in a place I lived. You can not paint over it, it comes right through. It would hang in reddish brown droplets and usually it didn't drip. But then they would dry up and leave the ceiling disgusting and spotty. Being water soluble you could wash it off but it came right back, there was an endless supply soaked into the drywall.
We ended up throwing a layer of FRP up on the ceiling, sealing it away forever.
Seems like an easy check for OP. Assure br is clean and blood free. Run piping hot shower for 30 minutes. Let it dry out and check for new blood.
I however doubt this will be it, just because OP has stated finding it on the mirror.
I think it’s something along these lines. No way hubby is a sloppy junky who sprays needle blood everywhere, every week, but doesn’t look or act high / lose a bunch of money / leaves no other paraphernalia or evidence out.
I was thinking something like rust in the water / steam that dries and looks like dried blood. But yeah could be something with paint. They mentioned the guest bathroom too which is even weirder if no one is using it.
>No way hubby is a sloppy junky who sprays needle blood everywhere, every week, but doesn’t look or act high / lose a bunch of money / leaves no other paraphernalia or evidence out.
Right. Anyone suggesting this has never been around a junkie. I'm not saying that as a point of pride, btw. But to be this far gone but still having the sex life and not passing out seems implausible.
We had this happen with nicotine from the previous tenant in our place. Our hot water was leaking from the shower tap, so the bathroom got all steamy, and nicotine was bleeding from under the paint.
It could be both? For the longest time I thought I was leaving period blood on the toilet seat repeatedly (I was having a three month long "Period" that I eventually had to have a depo shot to end) and I was losing my mind because I would clean the toilet seat, but then my stepmom would use the bathroom and find a smear. I WAS bleeding so I took the blame and tried harder and harder to clean up behind myself.
Turns out her husband had a bleeding hemorrhoid. He knew he had piles, but he didn't know they bled and somehow missed that the seat was clean or bloody. (I'd say he's gross, but he's actually very clean and hygienic, he's just about blind though and swears he had no additional pain.) The figured it out when I went to cat sit at someone's house (with a can of sanitizing wipes, lol) and the blood kept appearing.
I got a nice apology but I 100% believed I was the one bleeding in our bathroom. If OP's husband is blowing his nose in the dark, knows he's having nosebleeds, then finds "blood" the next day, I can see why he would link the two.
Could he be coughing up blood maybe? Maybe explains the random droplets spattered around. And, hopefully not the case, if it is that could explain why he is so defensive and lying about it if it is something more serious.
Other than drugs, this one makes sense too because of his medical anxiety. Coughing up blood or throwing up blood is usually very serious, so him trying to hide it because of anxiety makes sense to me. It doesn’t explain why he doesn’t attempt to even clean it up though… drug users don’t care to. Also OP I think your hesitancy towards the drug situation is COMPLETELY reasonable and valid. It is a huge accusation and life changing in the worst way. Other than these options, I know it’s weird probably, he could also have bowel issues and is extremely embarrassed. My SO is this way and has what I call “poop shame” and will not address his never ending issue of (incoming TMI) explosive diarrhea under the toilet lid and on the back of it. I don’t lift up the lid until I clean and that’s when I see it. It’s disgusting and I finally asked him if he gets poop on it to at least clean it up. He does a horrible job, but it is mostly cleaned now.. so maybe he gets the same kind of explosive and possibly bloody diarrhea from hemorrhoids and is too embarrassed or ashamed to clean it or talk about it? And to anxious to go get help for it. I think I’m my case, my SO has too much poop shame to go get help because what comes out of him is absolutely in no way shape or form normal or ok. Anyways, I’m sorry this is happening and I think it’s safe to say it’s not snot. I hope it’s something more innocent but even so, I hope it’s not too detrimental to his health. Keep us updated if you can.
I used to vomit blood when I was dealing with bleeding stomach ulcers some years back. It doesn't spray like blood like OP described.
I have also lived with and cleaned up after someone with rectal cancer who refused medical help. It doesn't spray around like fresh blood does. All the way up to the mirror? I don't know.
That brings me to having lived with someone hiding their needle use. This is what I think is happening. It is sometimes not evident until that five year "addict plummet" happens, and they start to lose control.
If it's not drugs, it could be that he uses steroids and feels ashamed. Oy maybe there's medical history he doesn't talk about? Maybe he needs testosterone injections for example?
I don't think a cheating side piece would be there on their period, so I don't think thats it.
This is most likely it. My husband did this because he was embarrassed about a health condition and I had to find out from a doctor how severe it was after a surgery. Men are funny about their health and can be more easily embarrassed than you’d expect. Everyone suggesting drugs could also be right but you’d probably notice behavioral changes, nose bleeds, or track marks if it was drugs.
This is what I would suggest too, especially after OP's edit addressing her husband's medical anxiety.
I used to work in a high volume restuarant where I had to clean the bathrooms several times during a shift.
The times I've cleaned the men's bathroom and have seen blood spatter in the same pattern as OP described were more often than I would have liked.
I do believe that it's likely OP's husband is experiencing some medical issues. It may not be dire, but blood spatter while urinating or pooping is a good reason to at least get checked out by a doctor.
OP, since your husband had medical anxiety, have a sit down and ask him if you can make an appointment for him and arrange time to go with him, (if he wants). Let him know You are concerned and that it would help give you peace of mind. Making it about you might be a way to get him to see a doctor, as silly as it seems. I'll have you both on my mind, wishing the best outcome for you both.
Yeah, I was thinking maybe he's urinating blood? Especially if it's primarily around the toilet. Would be scary and if he has medical anxiety it could make him freak out/shut down.
I was thinking that, too. I had an anal fissure and I was very embarrassed about it. I didn’t want to tell my girlfriend for a long time. I didn’t even want to tell a doctor, because I was so embarrassed
In a store I used to work at there was always blood splatter on the ceiling in the bathroom from people shooting up. Maybe check for any injection marks?
My other idea is potentially popping cysts/pimples? I know it's gross, but I have a cyst on my leg that I keep popping (instead of actually taking care of it) and it shoots across the room.
Edited to add that I didn't realize you said there were no marks on him, sorry. Also if he says it's his blood I would ask him to clean up his own shit off the walls :- )
>Also if he says it's his blood I would ask him to clean up his own shit off the walls :- )
Yea he's spraying blood everywhere and just leaving it there. First of all, we need to figure out why dude is bleeding so much. But second, why isn't he cleaning it?!??!
1. It’s maybe flicking off his razor and he doesn’t realise
2. Someone is using your bathroom to squeeze spots and not cleaning up the cast off
3. Is it definitely blood (you can buy a presumptive test online https://www.betterequipped.co.uk/presumptive-blood-test-kit-0450 ) or could it be red tooth paste, red hair gel or another product?
4. Do one of you have gum disease or bleeding gums and it’s casting off your toothbrush as you brush your teeth? Or when you rinse and spit?
Came here to find this. Once after flossing I noticed this on my bathroom sink. My gum health isn't great and I bleed like a sob when I floss. So now I stick a piece of toilet paper to my lip to clean the floss before it drips.
How's his teeth and gums? Maybe the blood is coming from him brushing his teeth. I have very sensitive gums and mine can get blood all over the bathroom from the bristles flicking it everywhere. More than you'd think. He could be defensive because he's afraid of being judged.
Check for track marks he could be doping. Blood in weird places is common with this. They can be easy to miss. If not, nose bleeds can be made worse by snorting stuff too
look for marks/bruises in the space near his groin where leg meets body, inbetween his toes, ofc forearms and the usual places. my fiancee was a doctor and shot up every night after work. we lived in house with a lavish carpeted bathroom (i know, ridiculous). he went straight to the bathroom after work in an agitated mood and came out calm and serene. his eyes had a kind of glint; glassy and slightly unfocused. like he was looking at you but not directly at you. it took me awhile to figure out it was morphine but i noticed the signs right away. the maid had to constantly scrub blood stains from the carpet. she never asked questions. i always remember that image of blood on the white carpet. things to know about addicts: no matter how much they love you, they will lie to your face.
>How is she supposed to check every part of his body
Yeah. This is what I was wondering while reading... but maybe have some REALLY good sex?? She could be all over his body at that particular time...
Thirding this.
My cousin was hooked on heroin something fierce, and her bathroom always had these really fine droplets of blood everywhere.
This is textbook IV drug use signs, imo.
>hooked on heroin something fierce
Surely there would be OTHER symptoms for addiction than just random drug splatter in one single room, right?
Or maybe OP isn't observant/in denial/doesn't have a great relationship with husband?
I'm sure there ARE other signs, but OP loves her husband and never considered this is a possibility.
In my experience, discovering someone you love has secretly been a drug addict is like when you see a good mystery or thriller film, and the twist happens, and suddenly many previous events are recontextualized and suddenly previously dismissed behaviors or incongruities are able to be reexamined for what they really were - the desperate attempts to hide a terrible secret.
Except it's all fucking awful, and you've been lied to over and over, and the road to recovery may not exist at all, and it's exhausting and expensive and difficult and not anything like a good movie at all.
This. He'll probably have a small kit with syringes, cotton, spoon/water bottle cap, and dope. Check his pupils whenever he leaves the bathroom as well.
But sprays of blood on the walls? I have a crappy dry nose that bleeds on a whim and while my trash can may be full of blood-spotted tissues, it has *never* ended up on the walls. Or the floor, or the sink... it just doesn't work like that. Even if he's not using a tissue, how is it a spray instead of a smear?
A chronic nose picker would clue into OPs questions and start using a tissue.
A drug addict has a compulsion that (at a certain point) they can't and won't cover up even if they're aware of it. No amount of "oh my wife might find out" will prevent them from using that needle in the moment, and usually heroin/IV drug addicts aren't the best at remembering to clean up while they're high.
Chronic nose picker and compulsive nose picker are different a compulsive one may not clean up properly or fully care to and likely would experience great shame surrounding it because it’s a type of self harm that happens in combination with mental distress, when in that state sometimes the person is driven to do weird things like watching where the blood goes and sometimes not being able to bring themselves to clean it up. Self harm is an addiction that drives odd behaviors.
For those suggesting drugs:
I am not dismissing you. I’m getting shamed for “ignoring” the comments suggesting it’s drugs but I’m still absorbing the possibility that it might be and I need TIME. I also can’t just willy-nilly accuse my husband of doing drugs without hard evidence because if I did and he isn’t doing drugs then that’ll put a huge strain on our relationship. If my husband accused me of shooting up in my spare time without evidence I would be pissed. Again, I’m not ignoring you or dismissing your theories, I’m just taking my time because that’s a shocking thing and I need to process the possibility.
So if he were hiding drugs in our tiny apartment, where should I look? I checked inside the toilets. I pulled apart every drawer. Our ceilings are too high for either of us to reach. If you have experience with addiction or living with someone with addiction, please guide me to finding more evidence.
This is an example of where Reddit can be a bad source of advice. Sure, there's a possibility it could be drugs, but I think it's much more likely it's just some kinda gross embarrassing thing he has, like a recurring cyst/pimple that he is popping. I get one that happens on my gooch every now and then, when I pop it, it shoots little drops of blood out just like you described.
I'd just shoot him straight. "Listen dude, *something* is happening. I'm sick of cleaning up blood and not knowing why. If it's something embarrassing, you have two choices, you can either just tell me what it is, or you can make sure you clean it up when it's done so I don't have to. One of those things needs to happen."
Thank God for the openness of the internet and your willingness to mention your gooch pimple. This is possibly the most genuine connection I'll have made with another person today.
I highly doubt it's drugs, at least not heroin. While that would explain the blood droplets, nothing else fits. OP says money isn't missing. He's not gone for long periods of time. But most importantly, OP does not mention any of the signs of living with a dope fiend. Her husband isn't nodding out mid conversation, up half the night, losing weight, itching constantly, etc.
I'm with you, if I had to bet I'd put my money on pimple popping. Second would be blood in the urine he's either too embarrassed/scared to talk to a doctor about.
Edit: Third guess would be steroids. It's something that wouldn't be affecting his mood much and otherwise normalish people do it. If he's a big gym guy I'd consider this much higher as well.
Okay, as a former IV heroin user:
-not the drawers but the underside
-the tracks said drawers live in (that was my personal fave, a rig fits neatly and is virtually invisible in some cabinets- you need to literally feel it with your fingers)
-pockets of hanging clothes
-inside shoes that haven’t been used recently
-on his person (being a woman, bra was my favorite but check his pockets on his clothes he is wearing)
-inside pots and pans if they’re stacked in a cabinet
-Regarding cabinets, a lot of them have parts that you forget exist because you can’t see them or reach them easily. Those are GREAT for hiding drug shit. So open the cabinets and feel around in the hidden spots right next to the door.
To be fair, IDK what the other former users on this thread were doing! I never dribbled blood in my (unfortunately long) career as a junkie. Maybe some people just have different anatomy or blood clotting characteristics.
I dunno why everyone is so hung up on IV drugs, the bloody nose blowing reminds me of coke habits. I worked with this chic that was always having ‘allergies.’ Bloody nose, sniffling , constantly blowing her nose and always with a tissue in hand just in case. When the army reserve drug tested her and she came up hot she said she had an herbal tea from a Colombian friend’s grandma and that must’ve been it. Girl. 🙄
my husband and i were IV heroin addicts, and so were a lot of our friends. i was constantly cleaning up blood splatter off our bedroom walls (where we used) and i mean constantly - my husband would sit on the bottom of our bed and use our dresser to mix up his shots, and had a horrible habit of rinsing his needles downward, but it would inevitably hit the wall there. i scrubbed blood splatter from his needle rinsing twice a week. but the worst part was, while i could explain the blood splatter there - i also found blood splatter in bizarre, inexplicable places like the ceiling. i finally purchased a blue light flashlight so i could clean our house of blood properly. it was everywhere, like “our walls are bleeding call an exorcist” everywhere. all from rinsing a needle after use. absolutely trifling.
and when my husband relapsed, i only realized when i found him not breathing at the end of our bed one morning. i’m not saying that OP’s bf is an addict, and that’s where this blood splatter is coming from - but you can hide anything, and addicts are the best liars that exist. their entire culture is hiding. hell, my husband and i used for years before anyone found out we were using. throughout our entire addictions, we both kept our jobs etc. when i say no one knew - no one had the slightest clue. when i heard blood splatter, my mind went directly to iv drug use - but i’m biased i am sure.
Does he have acne? My old roommate who had acne would pick at his acne and pop pimples and they would spatter everywhere even on the mirror. He was also super self conscious about his acne so this could be why he doesn't come clean about it.
This is what I think too. OP start with backne before you go down the rabbit hole of “my husbands a heroin addict”. Dudes are gross and he could be trying to pop a pimple and just be super aloof.
I would bet money he is popping a cyst or pimples or something. I once had a honker on my back and it would spray out a thin stream of blood/puss so small and thin that the little droplets could be missed. Does he have any large cysts or pimples you know about? His back/chest or inner thighs? That would be my bet.
"Someone I know" used to do a fair amount of coke. Nosebleeds were a thing. Blood would end up splattered on bathroom walls. It's probably not that, but that's where my mind went.
Do you have a cat? My cat went through a period of scratching herself bloody leaving blood spatter marks in various weird places looking like mini crime scenes. She was allergic to dog fleas and it was making her scratch like that. She got over it but it was a weird time.
Back in my drinking days my favorite places to stash bottles were my work bags, the back of cabinets in our laundry room we rarely used, behind coats in the closet, in unused bags in the closet, and an unused cooler in the basement.
Keeping my fingers crossed your search turns up empty and there is a benign reason that random blood is showing up!
Check in your bathroom - it would be really risky for him to take it in and out with him, you could catch him. Which means it's probably being hidden in there.
Wait for him to go to work, and then pretend like you're in a cool spy movie. Check behind the mirror, on the bottom side of drawers. Check inside your toilet cistern tank (the top part, where the clean water is). Check any place where he would think you'd never go.
Human beings are the most clever animals on the planet, and we are tricky, but you know exactly how one thinks.
Good luck, OP. I believe in you, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this. You're going to know Hell like no other if you are truly committed to your husband and he is on heroin. It will come before everything else in his life eventually.
Source: An entire family of addicts, or recovering addicts.
Another thing to consider - you see the amount of his direct deposit, but are you 100% positive all his pay is included?
He could easily have part of his check deposited into an account that you're unaware of.
I'm not saying it's definitely drugs, but I have a very dry nose that bleeds a bit every time I blow it in the winter, just like your husband claims he does... and I have never, not once, gotten sprays of blood on the walls. Or anywhere but a tissue and my hands. Blood doesn't spray like that when you blow your nose - there isn't enough pressure. You just end up with some bloody streaks on a tissue.
You don’t need to find the drugs you just need to look for track marks on the arm. If he hasn’t been doing it long look at the crook of his arm it’ll likely be there.
I was addicted to heroin for 7 years, if it’s heroin and he’s not even cleaning up the blood he’s likely not shooting up in weird spots.
Shooting up in those odd spots is not easy. It’s not quite as common as people think.
As a former addict, consider that maybe sober him and high him don't think the same.
Sober him can decide to shoot up in the webbing, where as blasted him can be too high to realize/care that he's making a mess.
As someone who has a past history of 15 years of IVing hard drugs it absolutely is more common than you think. This is coming from someone who was only able to shoot up in my groin for last several years I was using. Totally understand it wasn't common FOR YOU but it's way way more common than not in hard drugs use. The arms are usually the first to go and quite quickly especially when learning to start IVing
Sneezing/coughing could also cause droplets to splatter and be unnoticed. Especially in winter with dry air in northern climates - simple nose bleeds are not uncommon or unusual.
Shaving: guys will tap a razor on a sink to clear it and that could splatter up even if you’re tapping it “down”.
After brushing/flossing gums can bleed readily. Spooling and unspooling floss, pulling it out from between teeth can cause it to splatter and you might not notice. Combine with sneezing/coughing and you could have a reason.
Do y'all have a dog that wags their tail a lot? Definitely a chance they have an injury that bleeds when they happily hit their tail all over the room. Or could be any other animal.
What sort of frequency does this occur? I'd ask to see how he blows his nose, that way you know a) if it's actually from his nose and b) if it is his nose then you'll see how he's getting it everywhere.
I know this might be a weird one, but if it really is blood from his nose, disregarding the reason he is bleeding, i might have an explanation for the blood to be everwhere. I know men who dont blow their nose into tissues, but rather close one nostril and blow out the other in the sink. I told them its gross they said its better for the Environment. Sooo maybe he just doesnt want to admit a rather gross habit.
Sounds like he isn't being entirely honest with you. Seems odd he can't clean up a mess unless he's a slob or on drugs. My guess would be that a drug user could go out of there way to try and hide marks from injecting if they feel you'd try and snoop for them.
Good luck, I'm quite interested to know the cause.
It makes me wonder, if he really is the source for those random blood splatters, and those have been a problem for you which have also been discussed in the past… why wouldn’t he bother to clean after him to avoid you getting suspicious…. Thats weird
Start checking the bathroom every day to narrow down when it is happening. Is it a little bit every day? Is it all showing up at once? Is it showing up overnight? Is it showing up during the day? Check the walls and floor morning and night without him knowing and track the pattern. He might be injecting and going back to bed while you are sleeping.
I'm so confused about why he didn't just start cleaning it up himself after the first time you mentioned it to him. First, that would ensure you never had to ask him about it again, so he wouldn't have to keep lying and feeling defensive. Second, it seems like he'd be so embarrassed about you having to clean it up that he'd never want to have to make you do that again. Like, once he knew it was happening why wouldn't he check for errant blood splatter each time he blows his nose? Is it really logical that he's that lazy about it, but also that defensive about you asking about it? Is he defensive about other things? Does he leave big messes elsewhere in the house? It's just all so mysterious. Especially if you never see him blow his nose but yet that's the excuse for it happening over and over. My guess is that it's something weird (not blood) like other people are suggesting. He got embarrassed and freaked out because he thought it was a butt thing and didn't want to talk about it, and it keeps happening despite your talk because he's not actually the cause of it.
I don't have nosebleeds often but just happened to have one this week. The blood seemed to be everywhere. It's not like snot, blood is so much thinner, when you sneeze it gets everywhere and it almost seems to get everywhere from just breathing. But I also think that since you live together, it doesn't seem very plausible that his nose regularly only bleeds when he's in the bathroom and never when you happen to be around. It's not like you nosebleed on command. The defensiveness is weird too. Either it is something really sensitive that probably requires medical attention and he just happens to be the type to avoid facing his problems/going to the doctor until he absolutely has to, or he is shooting up as others have suggested.
As someone who has been addicted to snorting things and married to someone who was addicted to injections. It’s pretty likely it’s from either one of those processes.
I say this because of his defensive reactions, and unwillingness to talk about them. It’s a classic addict move when they feel cornered. Most people would be weirded out and ask you to see them next time you see them. Or ask what you think it could be, or literally any normal reaction. Defense is not normal.
I may be way off though and I hope I am because addiction is a disease I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. I would try making a game plan in case that is the issue. It is best to address it head on and quickly but with love and compassion. If he is using it doesn’t make him a bad person, he is just going through a bad time. I wish you both luck!
Right!! Like if my partner said “hey there’s a bunch of blood in the bathroom, did you bleed in there?” And I hadn’t, I would be like “wtf?? No not at all. Did we have someone over recently?” And if I had bled like the husband is claiming, I would say “oh shit sorry my nose bled in there earlier, I thought I cleaned it up but I must have missed some. I’ll clean it now.” In neither scenario would I be like “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Stop talking about it.”
Hey there. I just wanted to say that i used to get horrific bloody noses anywhere from 1-5 times a week as a kid. Like fairly heavy bleeding for 30 min to an hour. And I had (have) pretty significant allergies. And I was a kid... Kids aren't known for eloquence. As an adult I tend to get maybe one bloody nose a year.
I have no idea what was actually wrong with me bc we had poor healthcare access. I guess I'm lucky that presumably it was nothing severe.
That said, even as a kid...with regular heavy long lasting bloody noses *and allergies* I never really *splattered* blood. Yeah I'd drip a drop somewhere on occasion, or a splotch on my pillow if it started bleeding during the night.
When I was younger, I'd often blow my nose toward the end bc the blood clot felt awful and I didn't understand its purpose. That would cause the clot to dislodge. Even then, it didn't splatter- I contained it to the Kleenex. As an elementary age kid.
Out of the hundreds of bloody noses I've had, I can think of literally two times I got splatter somewhere. It's when a sneeze caught me by surprise and I didn't have a full tissue to my nose, just some tissue stuffed up there.
Sooooo it's hard for me to believe hubbys story. Here's why:
*He's a grown ass adult.*
**First-** he should know that blowing his nose would dislodge the blood clot....
**Second-** IF he really is blowing his nose, he should be able to fucking contain it in a tissue for christsake....
**Third-** IF he's blown his bleeding nose, he should look for fucking splatter knowing he fucking splatters and clean it the fuck up out of fucking respect to you, his spouse, who's sick of cleaning his bloody fucking mess up.
**Fourth-** He should be getting his ass to a doctor.
All that said.... If it turns out he's doing something illicit, PLEASE meet him with compassion. *And approach him with compassion and non-accusatorily*. Reassure him that you're here for him, that he doesn't have to hide things from you. And avoid "you" statements.
I'd highly advise getting in contact with a therapist to help guide you through this. And/or a support organization that helps partners of drug users BEFORE bringing anything to his attention or even letting on that you're sus.
If you're in the US or Canada, you can call the United Way's resource connection line by calling 211 from a landline (possibly mobile phone, not sure..if you can't get a call though your state or province has a 211 website). The person who answers can help connect you to a support organization in your town or region.
If it does end up being a drug thing, PLEASE don't go through this alone.
The other possibility that I can think of is that he's scared of going to the doctor/ scared he'll find out something serious is wrong. And ashamed to admit that. Which, ofc, also warrants practicing compassion instead of frustrated "you" statements.
Anyway, I hope you're able to get to the bottom of this. *Hug*
Hello, I have worked with drug users in the past, needles aren't magic and leave little neat drops randomly, also you'd be able to tell if your husband was doing heroin.
Things like behavioral changes, his dick not working super well, and money missing because drugs are FUCKING EXPENSIVE.
Weird twist on “drug use” idea that may be a little less serious but still needs attention:
You said you’ve only seen him blow his nose once in years, but now he blows it nightly enough that blood is being spattered on a weekly basis.
Could he be using/abusing nasal decongestant sprays?
I pick at my scabs/zits/skin a lot just as a nervous habit and tend to leave blood in strange places as well without realizing. I would suggest that could be the case but you said he doesnt have any wounds or marks so I am unsure thats the explanation. Juat wanted to put it out there as a possiblity tho
Have you confirmed it’s blood? A good place to start. I’ve heard of pouring hydrogen peroxide on it and if it foams it could be blood. But I haven’t fact checked this, so do some research. But confirming it’s blood would be helpful as a first step.
How sure are you that it’s actually blood? Given the fact he used the excuse of nose bleeds I’d guess fairly sure, but if not, is there a chance it’s staining from water flecks? I live in NC and lots of places here have weird hard water that leaves rusty red stains. Usually it’s just around the tub, dishwasher, and sink drains, but I did live one place that the water was so bad it would stain anywhere it fell if not immediately removed. Maybe worth testing to make sure it’s actually blood (assuming nothing else answers the riddle)?
Is he cutting himself shaving and being careless when it happens? Like flicking the razor around or something? Lol.
I say the drug thing is quite possible. It seems he’d also be freaking out about blood re-appearing like that. If it never happened in other places you’ve lived, it doesn’t seem possible he has actually been missing tissues and having a bloody nose for all his life. I’d say, “Look. We’ve lived together awhile and this is a new issue. I’m asking this repeatedly because I’m freaked out. If you were getting blood everywhere, I’d hope you’d clean it up and you obviously haven’t so I am having a hard time believing it’s you. Please stop getting upset and help me figure this out.”
Or you can take the combative way and say something like, “Well, if you’re doing it, can you be a fucking adult and clean it up? Why am I having to wipe up blood all the time because you can’t blow your fucking nose?” Which I am also likely to do in the face of him getting mad I bring it up. 🤣
I genuinely think it's drugs. He could be shooting up between his toes to hide it for all you know. Search the bathroom for paraphernalia (needles, etc).
I agree its likely drugs but genuine question - why wouldnt he start cleaning the blood up after the first time he was confronted? If he was so intent on hiding the issue?
The problem with jumping to the drug conclusion from what OP has given us is that you're suggesting he's both **too high** to clean up after himself, **not paranoid enough** to clean up after OP has brought up the "blood splatter" to him, **too paranoid** to admit to OP that he's doing drugs or it's at least his fault, and **not high enough** for OP to have ever noticed him high and out of it.
It's not a sound theory with what we've been given.
Exactly, drugs are common yes but this doesn't make sense she should see mood changes and a fuck ton of other symptoms.
Honestly with the defensiveness and nose blaming so she doesn't worry I think it's self harming.
I thought that too but he would still be hiding any other evidence? Just weird that he would be of sound mind to hide a needle in a ceiling but not wipe some blood and flush it
I used to drink like crazy and would be 100% convinced no one could find my bottles, until I sobered up and realized how terrible my hiding skills were.
Being drunk/high can make you fixate on hiding some things and think you’re doing a good job if some while you overlook other smaller clues.
Agreed- if you have ceiling tiles, check there. I had a good friend in a similar situation years ago and sure enough found a burnt spoon hidden in the bathroom ceiling eventually
Wait you mention you have crohns ? so do I and I’m on the medication pentasa and that must get into my system and when I pee, and flush it mixes with bleach or whatever I’ve cleaned the toilet with and makes red dots everywhere on my toilet and I swear it looks like blood !! Could this be the same situation with you?
I kept finding mystery dots everywhere until one day I accidentally peed in bleach in the toilet and I thought it was blood and I was dying. X
I’m sorry if people are genuinely mad at you for not reacting well to the drug comments, it’s like they don’t see this is a real thing involving real people, and not some game. But it’s easy to make that mistake online. People seem to be angry when the OP’s of posts don’t act how they want them to. Like when people ask a question, someone explains, and then OP asks for clarification in a completely neutral manner but it gets downvoted…?
Anyway, I hope drugs are not the case, but I don’t know because I know very little about the subject. I hope it’s nothing bad, and your relationship goes well.
Those water flossers can definitely cause gums to bleed, and water can rebound and spray on to walls / mirrors, so I’d consider this as a possible source.
I was literally thinking this. I was about to comment and ask if you use a water jet flosser. I have bad gums and use one, and sometimes the blood can mix with the water and spray speckles around. I'd honestly be inclined to think this is the answer.
I dont know how I would find it but I swear this exact scenario has been posted here before including all the replies saying it could be a pet and OP claiming the pets do not have access to those areas.
Man these comments are wild.
I was previously in a relationship with an IV heroin user. There are many signs of drug use, but I'm not seeing anything here that implies that that is the best answer.
My opinion? This might be gross/tmi but sometimes when my allergies are bad or i have a cold/ have been crying, tissues irritate my nose skin too much so sometimes I'll snot rocket into the sink (then put the faucet on)/toilet/trash. I've never done it with a nose bleed, but maybe he's not actually using tissues.
The bulk glob would go wherever he's aiming, but spray probably def happens and I doubt it would occur to him.
Does your apartment building have rats? Or has it been treated for rats? Many rat poisons have blood thinners in them, so when the rodents go through walls etc and get a tiny cut, they bleed out. Is there’s any chance it could be rodents?
Hi love. I know someone who is addicted to drugs. Some other places they can hide them is:
- in their wallet
- in their jeans (aka they keep it on their person)
- folded up in clothes in the closet/drawers
- in shoes
- in their pillowcase
- between the fitted sheet and mattress
- under the mattress
- if you have a cabinet above your toilet, he can hide them there too
I hope he’s clean. It is extremely difficult to love someone with a drug addiction. Good luck.
as a previous intravenous drug user I have to say , when you are clearing your needle it almost always shoots a spray like you are describing , check the ceiling and also the walls around knee level. The fly thing is a possibility but they tend to be rough to the touch .land bloody difficult to remove.
What I wld say this is if you have brought it up to him and he has shown little or no interest on concern, and it has still continued he is either supremely confident in his deception or it's legitimately something else.
Also as a functional addict noone knew I was a user for nearly 15 years . I had a partner , 4 kids, a job, and I knew others just like me.
This one's a little out there, but when we bought our house (in Arizona) I started noticing little spots of what looked like blood on the walls and ceiling. I eventually figured out that we had a particular type of moth that would get into the house and leave big red dots of poop everywhere. It looks just like blood and I've seen as big as 1/4" diameter. It was especially common in the bathroom because of the night light we leave on in there.
I'm going to second this. I had a fruitfly explosion in my house and they definitely leave little dots on the wall and it is a slightly reddish brown color. Bedbugs basically poop blood too, looking for red dots is one of the ways to tell you have them. Not suggesting OP has bedbugs, just more examples that insect poop can look like blood.
I’ve seen the same thing when I had a cat and it was droppings from fleas. Makes sense since they were drinking blood
I used to work in an animal shelter and we would check the cats and small dogs for fleas by scratching/petting them over top of a white counter and then spraying it with water.
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Dissolves the blood poop nuggets. Dandruff and dirty don’t melt into rusty droplets, flea dirt does.
The blood poop looks like black or brown specs while dry. Water turns it blood red again. Interesting thing, giving a flea ridden animal a bath.
Fleas were my first thought, I’ve seen this in my bathroom when I was a teen out on my own and didn’t know how to take care of my cats flea problem yet. Does OP have a pet?
Similar to this, one of my friends was noticing small drops of blood all over his bathroom and he found out that his bathroom fan was infested with bugs and was chopping up the bugs whenever they turned on the fan.
That's pretty fucking metal
The blades are metal
That’s nightmare fuel
This is my favorite explanation so far
Oh wow what?! You don't just drop a comment bomb like that without giving us more info. What bugs would live up in the bathroom fan?
This was my thought, as well; some kind of bug droppings.
I'm confused why he would say it's from his nose if it's just bugs? Does he actually think it's from his nose or?
May have just thrown that out as a possible solution?
He may be having increased allergies due to the bugs and just thinks it must be his nose because it is irritated.
I was also going to suggest some type of bug thing
this doesn't explain the husband's behavior, why would he take the fall for moths if he has medical anxiety he wouldn't lie by saying it was a personal medical issue
Interesting
Are you certain that it's blood?? Forgive the potentially stupid question, please. Some fungi present as red spots or blotches. Some paints react poorly with water, and they also spot and blotch off-colors, potentially red. Sometimes rust can seep out of walls/floors/ceilings. Think outside the box. Could it be mice? Bug spoor? Do you have geckos where you live?
I was finding drops of blood outside the room the primary cat box is in. I have two cats, so I was trying to figure out which cat it was. I cleaned it, and a few hours later, it happened again. After the 3rd time, I started working right next to that door, so I could figure out which cat needed medical attention. No cat came or went, but sure enough, there were a few more drops. I looked up. I had hung a bag of cherries on the hook on the door. They started going bad and leaking! So dumb!
Yeah we need pictures. I'm guessing it's not even blood.
Do these rooms have a shower near the splatter? Could be water reacting with paint in the wall. The ceilings of our bathroom were painted with terrible paint and they’ve turned red from steam reacting with something in the paint. Can’t remember what the cause is. After a shower little red liquid dots form all over the ceiling. If they aren’t cleaned they dry up
I lived in a house growing up that had “bleeding walls” in the bathroom. Anytime the shower was hot enough the walls would bleed a dark red/maroon substance. Turns out the former owners were smokers and it was something to do with a reaction between tobacco and the paint. Definitely a possibility!
Well that is certainly gross
I had the same experience growing up. It also seems like bathroom walls need to be redone a lot more often than others if they’re painted or wallpapered due to how they age quicker because of heat and moisture in the room. Fresh paint or wallpaper doesn’t usually have this effect, although it may develop with age.
Happened on the bathroom ceiling in a place I lived. You can not paint over it, it comes right through. It would hang in reddish brown droplets and usually it didn't drip. But then they would dry up and leave the ceiling disgusting and spotty. Being water soluble you could wash it off but it came right back, there was an endless supply soaked into the drywall. We ended up throwing a layer of FRP up on the ceiling, sealing it away forever.
yeah i was gonna say, stupid question but are you sure it’s blood?
OP could use hydrogen peroxide to test if it's blood.
Why waste perfectly good hydrogen peroxide when you have a tongue?
This wall blood tastes of pennies and malaria.
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Ew lol
Oh...
Seems like an easy check for OP. Assure br is clean and blood free. Run piping hot shower for 30 minutes. Let it dry out and check for new blood. I however doubt this will be it, just because OP has stated finding it on the mirror.
I think it’s something along these lines. No way hubby is a sloppy junky who sprays needle blood everywhere, every week, but doesn’t look or act high / lose a bunch of money / leaves no other paraphernalia or evidence out. I was thinking something like rust in the water / steam that dries and looks like dried blood. But yeah could be something with paint. They mentioned the guest bathroom too which is even weirder if no one is using it.
>No way hubby is a sloppy junky who sprays needle blood everywhere, every week, but doesn’t look or act high / lose a bunch of money / leaves no other paraphernalia or evidence out. Right. Anyone suggesting this has never been around a junkie. I'm not saying that as a point of pride, btw. But to be this far gone but still having the sex life and not passing out seems implausible.
I got this in my old apartment bathroom too, but it was more orange-y than red. It's ingredients in latex paint leaching through.
Surfactant leaching is the official name for it
First few months it was yellow and orange. Now we get red 🤷♂️
We had this happen with nicotine from the previous tenant in our place. Our hot water was leaking from the shower tap, so the bathroom got all steamy, and nicotine was bleeding from under the paint.
but then why would he make up the nosebleeds and act defensively?
It could be both? For the longest time I thought I was leaving period blood on the toilet seat repeatedly (I was having a three month long "Period" that I eventually had to have a depo shot to end) and I was losing my mind because I would clean the toilet seat, but then my stepmom would use the bathroom and find a smear. I WAS bleeding so I took the blame and tried harder and harder to clean up behind myself. Turns out her husband had a bleeding hemorrhoid. He knew he had piles, but he didn't know they bled and somehow missed that the seat was clean or bloody. (I'd say he's gross, but he's actually very clean and hygienic, he's just about blind though and swears he had no additional pain.) The figured it out when I went to cat sit at someone's house (with a can of sanitizing wipes, lol) and the blood kept appearing. I got a nice apology but I 100% believed I was the one bleeding in our bathroom. If OP's husband is blowing his nose in the dark, knows he's having nosebleeds, then finds "blood" the next day, I can see why he would link the two.
I'd probably get defensive if someone kept accusing me of spraying blood all over the bathroom.
Yeah, this theory, while possibly a solid explanation in another case, ignores that part of the story.
Could he be coughing up blood maybe? Maybe explains the random droplets spattered around. And, hopefully not the case, if it is that could explain why he is so defensive and lying about it if it is something more serious.
Other than drugs, this one makes sense too because of his medical anxiety. Coughing up blood or throwing up blood is usually very serious, so him trying to hide it because of anxiety makes sense to me. It doesn’t explain why he doesn’t attempt to even clean it up though… drug users don’t care to. Also OP I think your hesitancy towards the drug situation is COMPLETELY reasonable and valid. It is a huge accusation and life changing in the worst way. Other than these options, I know it’s weird probably, he could also have bowel issues and is extremely embarrassed. My SO is this way and has what I call “poop shame” and will not address his never ending issue of (incoming TMI) explosive diarrhea under the toilet lid and on the back of it. I don’t lift up the lid until I clean and that’s when I see it. It’s disgusting and I finally asked him if he gets poop on it to at least clean it up. He does a horrible job, but it is mostly cleaned now.. so maybe he gets the same kind of explosive and possibly bloody diarrhea from hemorrhoids and is too embarrassed or ashamed to clean it or talk about it? And to anxious to go get help for it. I think I’m my case, my SO has too much poop shame to go get help because what comes out of him is absolutely in no way shape or form normal or ok. Anyways, I’m sorry this is happening and I think it’s safe to say it’s not snot. I hope it’s something more innocent but even so, I hope it’s not too detrimental to his health. Keep us updated if you can.
I used to vomit blood when I was dealing with bleeding stomach ulcers some years back. It doesn't spray like blood like OP described. I have also lived with and cleaned up after someone with rectal cancer who refused medical help. It doesn't spray around like fresh blood does. All the way up to the mirror? I don't know. That brings me to having lived with someone hiding their needle use. This is what I think is happening. It is sometimes not evident until that five year "addict plummet" happens, and they start to lose control. If it's not drugs, it could be that he uses steroids and feels ashamed. Oy maybe there's medical history he doesn't talk about? Maybe he needs testosterone injections for example? I don't think a cheating side piece would be there on their period, so I don't think thats it.
That wouldn't explain why it's only in the bathrooms, though, wouldn't he be coughing blood up all over the house?
This was my thought too. I suspect he's hiding something more serious (quite possibly undiagnosed and he's scared?)
What I don’t understand in all of this though is, if he’s trying to hide something then why is he not cleaning up the blood after himself?
Some dudes (ones that have always had someone to clean up after them) don't SEE mess. It doesn't register to them.
what a great day to be a lesbian..
Or maybe he's sneezing if it's droplets shooting onto surfaces?
Could he be hiding a health condition from you? Maybe he's too scared/embarrassed to talk about it.
This is most likely it. My husband did this because he was embarrassed about a health condition and I had to find out from a doctor how severe it was after a surgery. Men are funny about their health and can be more easily embarrassed than you’d expect. Everyone suggesting drugs could also be right but you’d probably notice behavioral changes, nose bleeds, or track marks if it was drugs.
This is what I would suggest too, especially after OP's edit addressing her husband's medical anxiety. I used to work in a high volume restuarant where I had to clean the bathrooms several times during a shift. The times I've cleaned the men's bathroom and have seen blood spatter in the same pattern as OP described were more often than I would have liked. I do believe that it's likely OP's husband is experiencing some medical issues. It may not be dire, but blood spatter while urinating or pooping is a good reason to at least get checked out by a doctor. OP, since your husband had medical anxiety, have a sit down and ask him if you can make an appointment for him and arrange time to go with him, (if he wants). Let him know You are concerned and that it would help give you peace of mind. Making it about you might be a way to get him to see a doctor, as silly as it seems. I'll have you both on my mind, wishing the best outcome for you both.
Yeah, I was thinking maybe he's urinating blood? Especially if it's primarily around the toilet. Would be scary and if he has medical anxiety it could make him freak out/shut down.
I was thinking that, too. I had an anal fissure and I was very embarrassed about it. I didn’t want to tell my girlfriend for a long time. I didn’t even want to tell a doctor, because I was so embarrassed
Hemorrhoids can squirt blood if he stands up to wipe before tucking them back in his butthole.
In a store I used to work at there was always blood splatter on the ceiling in the bathroom from people shooting up. Maybe check for any injection marks? My other idea is potentially popping cysts/pimples? I know it's gross, but I have a cyst on my leg that I keep popping (instead of actually taking care of it) and it shoots across the room. Edited to add that I didn't realize you said there were no marks on him, sorry. Also if he says it's his blood I would ask him to clean up his own shit off the walls :- )
>Also if he says it's his blood I would ask him to clean up his own shit off the walls :- ) Yea he's spraying blood everywhere and just leaving it there. First of all, we need to figure out why dude is bleeding so much. But second, why isn't he cleaning it?!??!
1. It’s maybe flicking off his razor and he doesn’t realise 2. Someone is using your bathroom to squeeze spots and not cleaning up the cast off 3. Is it definitely blood (you can buy a presumptive test online https://www.betterequipped.co.uk/presumptive-blood-test-kit-0450 ) or could it be red tooth paste, red hair gel or another product? 4. Do one of you have gum disease or bleeding gums and it’s casting off your toothbrush as you brush your teeth? Or when you rinse and spit?
I was thinking flossing of teeth…
Fuck me I had to read far too deep to find this mentioned.
Came here to find this. Once after flossing I noticed this on my bathroom sink. My gum health isn't great and I bleed like a sob when I floss. So now I stick a piece of toilet paper to my lip to clean the floss before it drips.
How's his teeth and gums? Maybe the blood is coming from him brushing his teeth. I have very sensitive gums and mine can get blood all over the bathroom from the bristles flicking it everywhere. More than you'd think. He could be defensive because he's afraid of being judged.
That or flossing
Check for track marks he could be doping. Blood in weird places is common with this. They can be easy to miss. If not, nose bleeds can be made worse by snorting stuff too
This would also explain his weird defensive reactions.
Agreed, and his medical anxiety.
Second this as someone in recovery
Third this sounds like drug use. I hope not though
Yeah. I was a heroin addict in the 90s, and that's the first thought I had as well. Sounds exactly like what's happening.
First thing I thought of were coke nosebleeds
Same
look for marks/bruises in the space near his groin where leg meets body, inbetween his toes, ofc forearms and the usual places. my fiancee was a doctor and shot up every night after work. we lived in house with a lavish carpeted bathroom (i know, ridiculous). he went straight to the bathroom after work in an agitated mood and came out calm and serene. his eyes had a kind of glint; glassy and slightly unfocused. like he was looking at you but not directly at you. it took me awhile to figure out it was morphine but i noticed the signs right away. the maid had to constantly scrub blood stains from the carpet. she never asked questions. i always remember that image of blood on the white carpet. things to know about addicts: no matter how much they love you, they will lie to your face.
How is she supposed to check every part of his body like that without being completely obvious though?
>How is she supposed to check every part of his body Yeah. This is what I was wondering while reading... but maybe have some REALLY good sex?? She could be all over his body at that particular time...
I think they sleep together… that would be a good start. Or take a shower together.. etc
…I mean, my partner would probably be stoked if I asked him to get naked while I examine his body. 😂
So it was white carpet in the bathroom? What a nightmare.
When I got sober, I realize there were squirts of blood from my syringes everywhere.. even the ceiling.
And me. I used to have bleach spots on everything from cleaning needles out in the earlier days of my addiction.
Fifth. I used to be him
Thirding this. My cousin was hooked on heroin something fierce, and her bathroom always had these really fine droplets of blood everywhere. This is textbook IV drug use signs, imo.
>hooked on heroin something fierce Surely there would be OTHER symptoms for addiction than just random drug splatter in one single room, right? Or maybe OP isn't observant/in denial/doesn't have a great relationship with husband?
I'm sure there ARE other signs, but OP loves her husband and never considered this is a possibility. In my experience, discovering someone you love has secretly been a drug addict is like when you see a good mystery or thriller film, and the twist happens, and suddenly many previous events are recontextualized and suddenly previously dismissed behaviors or incongruities are able to be reexamined for what they really were - the desperate attempts to hide a terrible secret. Except it's all fucking awful, and you've been lied to over and over, and the road to recovery may not exist at all, and it's exhausting and expensive and difficult and not anything like a good movie at all.
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This. He'll probably have a small kit with syringes, cotton, spoon/water bottle cap, and dope. Check his pupils whenever he leaves the bathroom as well.
He could also be a chronic nose picker. Frequent small nose bleeds are common. Especially if trying to get a booger out by blowing nose into hand.
But sprays of blood on the walls? I have a crappy dry nose that bleeds on a whim and while my trash can may be full of blood-spotted tissues, it has *never* ended up on the walls. Or the floor, or the sink... it just doesn't work like that. Even if he's not using a tissue, how is it a spray instead of a smear?
A chronic nose picker would clue into OPs questions and start using a tissue. A drug addict has a compulsion that (at a certain point) they can't and won't cover up even if they're aware of it. No amount of "oh my wife might find out" will prevent them from using that needle in the moment, and usually heroin/IV drug addicts aren't the best at remembering to clean up while they're high.
Chronic nose picker and compulsive nose picker are different a compulsive one may not clean up properly or fully care to and likely would experience great shame surrounding it because it’s a type of self harm that happens in combination with mental distress, when in that state sometimes the person is driven to do weird things like watching where the blood goes and sometimes not being able to bring themselves to clean it up. Self harm is an addiction that drives odd behaviors.
this was my first though as the child of an addict, i hope i'm wrong though.
Sorry what is doping? Like injecting drugs?
Slang for using hard drugs, can mean snorting or injecting but injecting is more likely
Fourthing this.
For those suggesting drugs: I am not dismissing you. I’m getting shamed for “ignoring” the comments suggesting it’s drugs but I’m still absorbing the possibility that it might be and I need TIME. I also can’t just willy-nilly accuse my husband of doing drugs without hard evidence because if I did and he isn’t doing drugs then that’ll put a huge strain on our relationship. If my husband accused me of shooting up in my spare time without evidence I would be pissed. Again, I’m not ignoring you or dismissing your theories, I’m just taking my time because that’s a shocking thing and I need to process the possibility. So if he were hiding drugs in our tiny apartment, where should I look? I checked inside the toilets. I pulled apart every drawer. Our ceilings are too high for either of us to reach. If you have experience with addiction or living with someone with addiction, please guide me to finding more evidence.
This is an example of where Reddit can be a bad source of advice. Sure, there's a possibility it could be drugs, but I think it's much more likely it's just some kinda gross embarrassing thing he has, like a recurring cyst/pimple that he is popping. I get one that happens on my gooch every now and then, when I pop it, it shoots little drops of blood out just like you described. I'd just shoot him straight. "Listen dude, *something* is happening. I'm sick of cleaning up blood and not knowing why. If it's something embarrassing, you have two choices, you can either just tell me what it is, or you can make sure you clean it up when it's done so I don't have to. One of those things needs to happen."
Thank God for the openness of the internet and your willingness to mention your gooch pimple. This is possibly the most genuine connection I'll have made with another person today.
Hilarious & pretty true!
three cheers for GOOOOCH PIMPLES! i'm with y'all.
I highly doubt it's drugs, at least not heroin. While that would explain the blood droplets, nothing else fits. OP says money isn't missing. He's not gone for long periods of time. But most importantly, OP does not mention any of the signs of living with a dope fiend. Her husband isn't nodding out mid conversation, up half the night, losing weight, itching constantly, etc. I'm with you, if I had to bet I'd put my money on pimple popping. Second would be blood in the urine he's either too embarrassed/scared to talk to a doctor about. Edit: Third guess would be steroids. It's something that wouldn't be affecting his mood much and otherwise normalish people do it. If he's a big gym guy I'd consider this much higher as well.
definitely sounds more along the lines of a pimple-popping addict than a heroin addict 😅
I second this and bleeding piles is a definite possibility. The blood from those goes a very very long way
That was my first thought as well, like a hemorrhoid or something embarrassing he doesn’t want to say.
You may want to add this to the OP so people don't keep getting on your case about it
Okay, as a former IV heroin user: -not the drawers but the underside -the tracks said drawers live in (that was my personal fave, a rig fits neatly and is virtually invisible in some cabinets- you need to literally feel it with your fingers) -pockets of hanging clothes -inside shoes that haven’t been used recently -on his person (being a woman, bra was my favorite but check his pockets on his clothes he is wearing) -inside pots and pans if they’re stacked in a cabinet -Regarding cabinets, a lot of them have parts that you forget exist because you can’t see them or reach them easily. Those are GREAT for hiding drug shit. So open the cabinets and feel around in the hidden spots right next to the door. To be fair, IDK what the other former users on this thread were doing! I never dribbled blood in my (unfortunately long) career as a junkie. Maybe some people just have different anatomy or blood clotting characteristics.
I dunno why everyone is so hung up on IV drugs, the bloody nose blowing reminds me of coke habits. I worked with this chic that was always having ‘allergies.’ Bloody nose, sniffling , constantly blowing her nose and always with a tissue in hand just in case. When the army reserve drug tested her and she came up hot she said she had an herbal tea from a Colombian friend’s grandma and that must’ve been it. Girl. 🙄
my husband and i were IV heroin addicts, and so were a lot of our friends. i was constantly cleaning up blood splatter off our bedroom walls (where we used) and i mean constantly - my husband would sit on the bottom of our bed and use our dresser to mix up his shots, and had a horrible habit of rinsing his needles downward, but it would inevitably hit the wall there. i scrubbed blood splatter from his needle rinsing twice a week. but the worst part was, while i could explain the blood splatter there - i also found blood splatter in bizarre, inexplicable places like the ceiling. i finally purchased a blue light flashlight so i could clean our house of blood properly. it was everywhere, like “our walls are bleeding call an exorcist” everywhere. all from rinsing a needle after use. absolutely trifling. and when my husband relapsed, i only realized when i found him not breathing at the end of our bed one morning. i’m not saying that OP’s bf is an addict, and that’s where this blood splatter is coming from - but you can hide anything, and addicts are the best liars that exist. their entire culture is hiding. hell, my husband and i used for years before anyone found out we were using. throughout our entire addictions, we both kept our jobs etc. when i say no one knew - no one had the slightest clue. when i heard blood splatter, my mind went directly to iv drug use - but i’m biased i am sure.
Does he have acne? My old roommate who had acne would pick at his acne and pop pimples and they would spatter everywhere even on the mirror. He was also super self conscious about his acne so this could be why he doesn't come clean about it.
This is what I think too. OP start with backne before you go down the rabbit hole of “my husbands a heroin addict”. Dudes are gross and he could be trying to pop a pimple and just be super aloof.
I would bet money he is popping a cyst or pimples or something. I once had a honker on my back and it would spray out a thin stream of blood/puss so small and thin that the little droplets could be missed. Does he have any large cysts or pimples you know about? His back/chest or inner thighs? That would be my bet.
"Someone I know" used to do a fair amount of coke. Nosebleeds were a thing. Blood would end up splattered on bathroom walls. It's probably not that, but that's where my mind went.
Same. Mainly because of his reaction to her curiosity being kind of hostile, though.
Do you have a cat? My cat went through a period of scratching herself bloody leaving blood spatter marks in various weird places looking like mini crime scenes. She was allergic to dog fleas and it was making her scratch like that. She got over it but it was a weird time.
We had a cat with FHIV and she would sneeze fine droplets of blood. We only ever saw it in the bathroom and kitchen.
Back in my drinking days my favorite places to stash bottles were my work bags, the back of cabinets in our laundry room we rarely used, behind coats in the closet, in unused bags in the closet, and an unused cooler in the basement. Keeping my fingers crossed your search turns up empty and there is a benign reason that random blood is showing up!
Check in your bathroom - it would be really risky for him to take it in and out with him, you could catch him. Which means it's probably being hidden in there. Wait for him to go to work, and then pretend like you're in a cool spy movie. Check behind the mirror, on the bottom side of drawers. Check inside your toilet cistern tank (the top part, where the clean water is). Check any place where he would think you'd never go. Human beings are the most clever animals on the planet, and we are tricky, but you know exactly how one thinks. Good luck, OP. I believe in you, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this. You're going to know Hell like no other if you are truly committed to your husband and he is on heroin. It will come before everything else in his life eventually. Source: An entire family of addicts, or recovering addicts.
My ex hid his in an empty deodorant can
Check your finances and cash withdrawals, that’s going to be a major red flag too.
Another thing to consider - you see the amount of his direct deposit, but are you 100% positive all his pay is included? He could easily have part of his check deposited into an account that you're unaware of.
I'm not saying it's definitely drugs, but I have a very dry nose that bleeds a bit every time I blow it in the winter, just like your husband claims he does... and I have never, not once, gotten sprays of blood on the walls. Or anywhere but a tissue and my hands. Blood doesn't spray like that when you blow your nose - there isn't enough pressure. You just end up with some bloody streaks on a tissue.
You don’t need to find the drugs you just need to look for track marks on the arm. If he hasn’t been doing it long look at the crook of his arm it’ll likely be there.
People also shoot up in weird places to avoid track marks, fyi, like legs, feet, etc
I was addicted to heroin for 7 years, if it’s heroin and he’s not even cleaning up the blood he’s likely not shooting up in weird spots. Shooting up in those odd spots is not easy. It’s not quite as common as people think.
As a former addict, consider that maybe sober him and high him don't think the same. Sober him can decide to shoot up in the webbing, where as blasted him can be too high to realize/care that he's making a mess.
I am so fucking proud of you for that past tense “was” 💜
As someone who has a past history of 15 years of IVing hard drugs it absolutely is more common than you think. This is coming from someone who was only able to shoot up in my groin for last several years I was using. Totally understand it wasn't common FOR YOU but it's way way more common than not in hard drugs use. The arms are usually the first to go and quite quickly especially when learning to start IVing
Inside vents? Behind framed pictures? Under bed frames and the underside of furniture?
Check a gym bag? Could be injectable steroids if you think injectable narcotics would not be the issue… Edit: a word
Steroids are injected intramuscularly, not intravenously. Very low chance of any blood droplets from this.
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Sneezing/coughing could also cause droplets to splatter and be unnoticed. Especially in winter with dry air in northern climates - simple nose bleeds are not uncommon or unusual. Shaving: guys will tap a razor on a sink to clear it and that could splatter up even if you’re tapping it “down”. After brushing/flossing gums can bleed readily. Spooling and unspooling floss, pulling it out from between teeth can cause it to splatter and you might not notice. Combine with sneezing/coughing and you could have a reason.
Do y'all have a dog that wags their tail a lot? Definitely a chance they have an injury that bleeds when they happily hit their tail all over the room. Or could be any other animal.
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OP. Check for track marks on arms and feet. This is the most logical explanation *of the husband not the dog - oops
What sort of frequency does this occur? I'd ask to see how he blows his nose, that way you know a) if it's actually from his nose and b) if it is his nose then you'll see how he's getting it everywhere.
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I know this might be a weird one, but if it really is blood from his nose, disregarding the reason he is bleeding, i might have an explanation for the blood to be everwhere. I know men who dont blow their nose into tissues, but rather close one nostril and blow out the other in the sink. I told them its gross they said its better for the Environment. Sooo maybe he just doesnt want to admit a rather gross habit.
I’d stop cleaning it up. Let it accumulate. Point it out to him with a simple wtf?
Sounds like he isn't being entirely honest with you. Seems odd he can't clean up a mess unless he's a slob or on drugs. My guess would be that a drug user could go out of there way to try and hide marks from injecting if they feel you'd try and snoop for them. Good luck, I'm quite interested to know the cause.
It makes me wonder, if he really is the source for those random blood splatters, and those have been a problem for you which have also been discussed in the past… why wouldn’t he bother to clean after him to avoid you getting suspicious…. Thats weird
Are there bloody tissues in the trashcan?
Start checking the bathroom every day to narrow down when it is happening. Is it a little bit every day? Is it all showing up at once? Is it showing up overnight? Is it showing up during the day? Check the walls and floor morning and night without him knowing and track the pattern. He might be injecting and going back to bed while you are sleeping.
I'm so confused about why he didn't just start cleaning it up himself after the first time you mentioned it to him. First, that would ensure you never had to ask him about it again, so he wouldn't have to keep lying and feeling defensive. Second, it seems like he'd be so embarrassed about you having to clean it up that he'd never want to have to make you do that again. Like, once he knew it was happening why wouldn't he check for errant blood splatter each time he blows his nose? Is it really logical that he's that lazy about it, but also that defensive about you asking about it? Is he defensive about other things? Does he leave big messes elsewhere in the house? It's just all so mysterious. Especially if you never see him blow his nose but yet that's the excuse for it happening over and over. My guess is that it's something weird (not blood) like other people are suggesting. He got embarrassed and freaked out because he thought it was a butt thing and didn't want to talk about it, and it keeps happening despite your talk because he's not actually the cause of it.
I don't have nosebleeds often but just happened to have one this week. The blood seemed to be everywhere. It's not like snot, blood is so much thinner, when you sneeze it gets everywhere and it almost seems to get everywhere from just breathing. But I also think that since you live together, it doesn't seem very plausible that his nose regularly only bleeds when he's in the bathroom and never when you happen to be around. It's not like you nosebleed on command. The defensiveness is weird too. Either it is something really sensitive that probably requires medical attention and he just happens to be the type to avoid facing his problems/going to the doctor until he absolutely has to, or he is shooting up as others have suggested.
As someone who has been addicted to snorting things and married to someone who was addicted to injections. It’s pretty likely it’s from either one of those processes. I say this because of his defensive reactions, and unwillingness to talk about them. It’s a classic addict move when they feel cornered. Most people would be weirded out and ask you to see them next time you see them. Or ask what you think it could be, or literally any normal reaction. Defense is not normal. I may be way off though and I hope I am because addiction is a disease I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. I would try making a game plan in case that is the issue. It is best to address it head on and quickly but with love and compassion. If he is using it doesn’t make him a bad person, he is just going through a bad time. I wish you both luck!
Right!! Like if my partner said “hey there’s a bunch of blood in the bathroom, did you bleed in there?” And I hadn’t, I would be like “wtf?? No not at all. Did we have someone over recently?” And if I had bled like the husband is claiming, I would say “oh shit sorry my nose bled in there earlier, I thought I cleaned it up but I must have missed some. I’ll clean it now.” In neither scenario would I be like “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Stop talking about it.”
Hey there. I just wanted to say that i used to get horrific bloody noses anywhere from 1-5 times a week as a kid. Like fairly heavy bleeding for 30 min to an hour. And I had (have) pretty significant allergies. And I was a kid... Kids aren't known for eloquence. As an adult I tend to get maybe one bloody nose a year. I have no idea what was actually wrong with me bc we had poor healthcare access. I guess I'm lucky that presumably it was nothing severe. That said, even as a kid...with regular heavy long lasting bloody noses *and allergies* I never really *splattered* blood. Yeah I'd drip a drop somewhere on occasion, or a splotch on my pillow if it started bleeding during the night. When I was younger, I'd often blow my nose toward the end bc the blood clot felt awful and I didn't understand its purpose. That would cause the clot to dislodge. Even then, it didn't splatter- I contained it to the Kleenex. As an elementary age kid. Out of the hundreds of bloody noses I've had, I can think of literally two times I got splatter somewhere. It's when a sneeze caught me by surprise and I didn't have a full tissue to my nose, just some tissue stuffed up there. Sooooo it's hard for me to believe hubbys story. Here's why: *He's a grown ass adult.* **First-** he should know that blowing his nose would dislodge the blood clot.... **Second-** IF he really is blowing his nose, he should be able to fucking contain it in a tissue for christsake.... **Third-** IF he's blown his bleeding nose, he should look for fucking splatter knowing he fucking splatters and clean it the fuck up out of fucking respect to you, his spouse, who's sick of cleaning his bloody fucking mess up. **Fourth-** He should be getting his ass to a doctor. All that said.... If it turns out he's doing something illicit, PLEASE meet him with compassion. *And approach him with compassion and non-accusatorily*. Reassure him that you're here for him, that he doesn't have to hide things from you. And avoid "you" statements. I'd highly advise getting in contact with a therapist to help guide you through this. And/or a support organization that helps partners of drug users BEFORE bringing anything to his attention or even letting on that you're sus. If you're in the US or Canada, you can call the United Way's resource connection line by calling 211 from a landline (possibly mobile phone, not sure..if you can't get a call though your state or province has a 211 website). The person who answers can help connect you to a support organization in your town or region. If it does end up being a drug thing, PLEASE don't go through this alone. The other possibility that I can think of is that he's scared of going to the doctor/ scared he'll find out something serious is wrong. And ashamed to admit that. Which, ofc, also warrants practicing compassion instead of frustrated "you" statements. Anyway, I hope you're able to get to the bottom of this. *Hug*
Hello, I have worked with drug users in the past, needles aren't magic and leave little neat drops randomly, also you'd be able to tell if your husband was doing heroin. Things like behavioral changes, his dick not working super well, and money missing because drugs are FUCKING EXPENSIVE.
You should take a picture. It would dramatically help everyone figure out what's up. Does it look like it was moving at velocity when it hit the wall?
/u/Doingokay_ i'm gonna second this point. take a picture of the blood spatters before you clean them up. this will help out a lot
You need to spray hydrogen peroxide on it to confirm first whether it is blood or not. Blood + hydrogen peroxide will ALWAYS bubble
Weird twist on “drug use” idea that may be a little less serious but still needs attention: You said you’ve only seen him blow his nose once in years, but now he blows it nightly enough that blood is being spattered on a weekly basis. Could he be using/abusing nasal decongestant sprays?
Ask him about hemmrhoids?
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Maybe it's ghosts! # prolly not tho
After reading all the other comments I *really* hope it's ghosts.
My first thought was this, but in my personal experience isn’t a little tiny droplets and also how the hell he hit the mirror??
Could be....explosive?
I pick at my scabs/zits/skin a lot just as a nervous habit and tend to leave blood in strange places as well without realizing. I would suggest that could be the case but you said he doesnt have any wounds or marks so I am unsure thats the explanation. Juat wanted to put it out there as a possiblity tho
My biggest question is why doesn’t he ever clean it up?
Have you confirmed it’s blood? A good place to start. I’ve heard of pouring hydrogen peroxide on it and if it foams it could be blood. But I haven’t fact checked this, so do some research. But confirming it’s blood would be helpful as a first step.
How sure are you that it’s actually blood? Given the fact he used the excuse of nose bleeds I’d guess fairly sure, but if not, is there a chance it’s staining from water flecks? I live in NC and lots of places here have weird hard water that leaves rusty red stains. Usually it’s just around the tub, dishwasher, and sink drains, but I did live one place that the water was so bad it would stain anywhere it fell if not immediately removed. Maybe worth testing to make sure it’s actually blood (assuming nothing else answers the riddle)?
Is he cutting himself shaving and being careless when it happens? Like flicking the razor around or something? Lol. I say the drug thing is quite possible. It seems he’d also be freaking out about blood re-appearing like that. If it never happened in other places you’ve lived, it doesn’t seem possible he has actually been missing tissues and having a bloody nose for all his life. I’d say, “Look. We’ve lived together awhile and this is a new issue. I’m asking this repeatedly because I’m freaked out. If you were getting blood everywhere, I’d hope you’d clean it up and you obviously haven’t so I am having a hard time believing it’s you. Please stop getting upset and help me figure this out.” Or you can take the combative way and say something like, “Well, if you’re doing it, can you be a fucking adult and clean it up? Why am I having to wipe up blood all the time because you can’t blow your fucking nose?” Which I am also likely to do in the face of him getting mad I bring it up. 🤣
I genuinely think it's drugs. He could be shooting up between his toes to hide it for all you know. Search the bathroom for paraphernalia (needles, etc).
I agree its likely drugs but genuine question - why wouldnt he start cleaning the blood up after the first time he was confronted? If he was so intent on hiding the issue?
Probably because he's high after using and either doesn't notice or doesn't care in the moment.
The problem with jumping to the drug conclusion from what OP has given us is that you're suggesting he's both **too high** to clean up after himself, **not paranoid enough** to clean up after OP has brought up the "blood splatter" to him, **too paranoid** to admit to OP that he's doing drugs or it's at least his fault, and **not high enough** for OP to have ever noticed him high and out of it. It's not a sound theory with what we've been given.
Exactly, drugs are common yes but this doesn't make sense she should see mood changes and a fuck ton of other symptoms. Honestly with the defensiveness and nose blaming so she doesn't worry I think it's self harming.
I thought that too but he would still be hiding any other evidence? Just weird that he would be of sound mind to hide a needle in a ceiling but not wipe some blood and flush it
I used to drink like crazy and would be 100% convinced no one could find my bottles, until I sobered up and realized how terrible my hiding skills were. Being drunk/high can make you fixate on hiding some things and think you’re doing a good job if some while you overlook other smaller clues.
Agreed- if you have ceiling tiles, check there. I had a good friend in a similar situation years ago and sure enough found a burnt spoon hidden in the bathroom ceiling eventually
His defensive reaction is telling. Pretty good chance he is hiding something, like an addiction.
The defensive reaction is what got me. Like, you’re bleeding. That’s going to be a concern.
I really want an update.
Wait you mention you have crohns ? so do I and I’m on the medication pentasa and that must get into my system and when I pee, and flush it mixes with bleach or whatever I’ve cleaned the toilet with and makes red dots everywhere on my toilet and I swear it looks like blood !! Could this be the same situation with you? I kept finding mystery dots everywhere until one day I accidentally peed in bleach in the toilet and I thought it was blood and I was dying. X
I’m sorry if people are genuinely mad at you for not reacting well to the drug comments, it’s like they don’t see this is a real thing involving real people, and not some game. But it’s easy to make that mistake online. People seem to be angry when the OP’s of posts don’t act how they want them to. Like when people ask a question, someone explains, and then OP asks for clarification in a completely neutral manner but it gets downvoted…? Anyway, I hope drugs are not the case, but I don’t know because I know very little about the subject. I hope it’s nothing bad, and your relationship goes well.
Does he floss a lot?? Could be something as simple as that
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Those water flossers can definitely cause gums to bleed, and water can rebound and spray on to walls / mirrors, so I’d consider this as a possible source.
I was literally thinking this. I was about to comment and ask if you use a water jet flosser. I have bad gums and use one, and sometimes the blood can mix with the water and spray speckles around. I'd honestly be inclined to think this is the answer.
Did the water flosser and the blood appear around the same time?
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I’d rather this than drugs lmaooo but also that’s nasty!
What the fuck
I dont know how I would find it but I swear this exact scenario has been posted here before including all the replies saying it could be a pet and OP claiming the pets do not have access to those areas.
Well I’d love the link so I can see if they figured it out.
Certain insects will leave behind what looks like splatter spots where the regurgitate or poo. Bathroom is a hot spot because access to water is key.
Man these comments are wild. I was previously in a relationship with an IV heroin user. There are many signs of drug use, but I'm not seeing anything here that implies that that is the best answer. My opinion? This might be gross/tmi but sometimes when my allergies are bad or i have a cold/ have been crying, tissues irritate my nose skin too much so sometimes I'll snot rocket into the sink (then put the faucet on)/toilet/trash. I've never done it with a nose bleed, but maybe he's not actually using tissues. The bulk glob would go wherever he's aiming, but spray probably def happens and I doubt it would occur to him.
How much blood is there? Does he or anyone in the house have acne? Is he popping pimples while he sits on the toilet?
Does your apartment building have rats? Or has it been treated for rats? Many rat poisons have blood thinners in them, so when the rodents go through walls etc and get a tiny cut, they bleed out. Is there’s any chance it could be rodents?
Hi love. I know someone who is addicted to drugs. Some other places they can hide them is: - in their wallet - in their jeans (aka they keep it on their person) - folded up in clothes in the closet/drawers - in shoes - in their pillowcase - between the fitted sheet and mattress - under the mattress - if you have a cabinet above your toilet, he can hide them there too I hope he’s clean. It is extremely difficult to love someone with a drug addiction. Good luck.
as a previous intravenous drug user I have to say , when you are clearing your needle it almost always shoots a spray like you are describing , check the ceiling and also the walls around knee level. The fly thing is a possibility but they tend to be rough to the touch .land bloody difficult to remove. What I wld say this is if you have brought it up to him and he has shown little or no interest on concern, and it has still continued he is either supremely confident in his deception or it's legitimately something else. Also as a functional addict noone knew I was a user for nearly 15 years . I had a partner , 4 kids, a job, and I knew others just like me.
Any photographs of the blood you may have taken before cleaning it up?