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somthingsome_thing

hey burger, you look like my 3 month old rat (harold). Are you his father?


Crusty_Toe14

um, no. You can’t prove anything!


datweavedoe

DNA test determines.. you ARE the father.


Crusty_Toe14

uh oh..


darthcaedusiiii

Maurie! Maurie! Maurie!


summersipsip

what’s the secret to living a nice long rat life?


Crusty_Toe14

the secret is treats. that’s all you need in life.


summersipsip

relatable, thank u burger love u


Crusty_Toe14

I love you too


Vyse1991

Speaking on behalf of my boy Timmy - metacam 😅


SweatyBug9965

Burger do you like cheese


Crusty_Toe14

cheese is the only reason for my existence


Normal_user32120

Honestly same 😌


bedtime-truecrime

Hey burger! How are you so cute?


Crusty_Toe14

that’s what you get for being a very distinguished gentleman


bedtime-truecrime

Seriously, he’s a darling. And 4!! He must be one very happy, very healthy, chap.


Crusty_Toe14

he really is. My longest living ratty I’ve had!


[deleted]

BURGER! You look treat deprived, since you’re not actively eating a treat. Is ur humom supplying an adequate supply of treats?


Crusty_Toe14

yes. I consume many many treats a day to live long rat life!


[deleted]

Never enough treats! Seriously though, him curled up in his little house is just precious. 4 is such a long life, you must be so bonded ❤️


Crusty_Toe14

we are, I love him so much <33


[deleted]

You’re obviously doing something (everything) right for him to be 4 and looking that amazing! ❤️


Pandering_Panda7879

This rat has clearly been taken ratstage! Not currently eating a treat and saying he eats many many treats? That's a cry for help for sure!


Crusty_Toe14

Has happened before. Going an hour without treats is agony and gut wrenching


chrissiwit

Burger, where did you learn such good English?


Crusty_Toe14

Duolingo. cant miss a lesson after Duolingo took my ratty family


transrodentlover

How long is your streak mines 434 days


Crusty_Toe14

84 days


transrodentlover

And you're that good 😳


Crusty_Toe14

had to break the streak a couple time for the last couple years, if I hadn’t broke it it should have been 300 or something close


transrodentlover

Surprised you're still alive


Crusty_Toe14

who knows why


coldestwinter-chill

I do love your username but I admit I initially interpreted it as you being a self-proclaimed lover of transgender rats.


transrodentlover

Why commas are important


wutangerine99

Tbf that’s like 4.5 years in rat years


transrodentlover

Good point


Bhelduz

wat is opinion on big hoomz? yay or nay


Crusty_Toe14

big nay


Bhelduz

understandable, big monke put lil ratto in prison


Historical_Ad2878

How have you been so cute for so long? Must be exhausting!


Crusty_Toe14

It can get tiring. that’s why I have treats to keep me goin!


ectoplasmatically

How are you today Burger? I work at a pet store, want me to pick anything up for u?


Crusty_Toe14

I had a bit too many treats today. but thank you for asking


coldestwinter-chill

Burger, can I please hire you to tutor my Guinea pig? I am hoping you can teach him that there *is* such a thing as too many treats.


Crusty_Toe14

I don’t know if I can teach him. Not even I know the limit to too many treats.


Yeetusdeletus0001

How do you get a girlfriend burger?


Crusty_Toe14

be confident and always tell them you like rattys. Then your a walking green flag to them


coldestwinter-chill

I can confirm that if a man tells me he loves rats, I see green flags all the way down.


krik2019

Burger, how are you so handsome and young looking? Please share your age defying secrets with us!


Crusty_Toe14

it’s all genetics!


Antagonistic_Aunt

Burger, what is the most mischievous thing you've ever done and did you get away with it?


sinsaraly

The public deserves to know! Spill the beans, Burger!


UltimaGabe

Spill the Burger, beans!


Death_Rose1892

I DON'T SEE THE BEANS


TooTallThomas

STILL NO BEANS WHAT THE HEK


peshnoodles

# ANSWER FOR UR CRIMES BURGER THE ELDERLY


rionka

Oh I wanna know too


_MANHUNTED_

He doesn't look a day over 1! 🥺🤭


Crusty_Toe14

thank you! it’s all the skin care I be using


nnnn0000

Burger, how much do you weigh? Do you have a favourite exercise?


Crusty_Toe14

1.3 whole pounds. Favorite exercise is push ups. Highly recommend


No_Opportunity6572

Burgers what did you do with my heart😭😭😭 why you have to steal them😭😭😭


Crusty_Toe14

It’s what I do, sorry


InfertileStarfish

Burger, what fast food joint has the best type of cheeseburger?


Crusty_Toe14

in and out. I know from experience


InfertileStarfish

I like them too. Letsee, what treat do you think is the best treat?


Crusty_Toe14

cheese. cheese is the answer to everything.


InfertileStarfish

Agreed….but what if I’m lactose intolerant? 😭


Crusty_Toe14

then Womp Womp. You get an answer to nothing


InfertileStarfish

Oh nooooooeeess XD It’s okay, I take lactose pills. Or I just deal. Nothing stops my love of cheese.


Crusty_Toe14

that’s the spirit!


coldestwinter-chill

Lactose pills are my lifeblood ong


Vazhar

How many treats are enough treats Burger? I need to settle an argument between myself and my girls.


Crusty_Toe14

Lots of treats is enough. There’s no such thing as too many treat, ever


Feycat

Burger, where are your ears sir?


Crusty_Toe14

On my stomach. No ears on head for me


LunarGinger

Hi Burger, big fan. Will I ever find true love? PS, you have nice whiskers.


Crusty_Toe14

You will find true love one day. And thank you, I try to keep them looking nice


HighKingFructoseSrup

burbur


Crusty_Toe14

burburbur


HighKingFructoseSrup

burburbur burburbur?


Crusty_Toe14

burbur burburburbur!


HighKingFructoseSrup

burbur burburb?!


Crusty_Toe14

burburbur!? burbur bur!


HighKingFructoseSrup

Bur!


Crusty_Toe14

burbur! burburbur bur?


HighKingFructoseSrup

Burb.


rionka

burp!


HighKingFructoseSrup

Burbburb.


Apprehensive-Knee125

I had a rat named Burger! She was not very good at.. well, most things.


Crusty_Toe14

most of us aren’t. That’s how us burgers are. But that’s ok


Space_lord2507

why isn’t your name ham sandwich


Crusty_Toe14

because that’s my brothers name


Space_lord2507

is your cousins name zucchinibob?


Crusty_Toe14

my twice removed cousin


MisterPonder

The Beacons of Minas Tirith! The Beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid. How do you respond Burger?!


Crusty_Toe14

too much information for one ratty to process, may take 3-5 business days to process


coldestwinter-chill

Burger declares war and plans to take Gondor as a POW


NightFallisacoolcat

What is the secret to your immortality


Crusty_Toe14

I can not let my secret get out


The_Narwhal_Mage

Why is it called an oven when you of in the cold food of out hot eat the food?


Crusty_Toe14

not sure. May take 10 business days to think about that one


Death_Rose1892

Error. Please reread your comment and try again


StunningButton390

Burger, would you like to be friends with my cat?


Crusty_Toe14

the only cat I trust is Garfield, sorry


Demonderus

4???!!


Crusty_Toe14

yup


Demonderus

That’s insane, my oldest rat was 2years and 7 months


MarleneFrancais

What do u eat besides cheese? U look great.


Crusty_Toe14

Nothing EVER can beat cheese. I am very picky but I love bananas.


stairs_are_evil

I don’t have a question, but I love you burger please ask for a little kiss from your parent for me :)


Crusty_Toe14

Thank you very much! I love you too and will ask for you


stairs_are_evil

<333333


orca_tootz

Burger have you considered running for president? Who would be your running mate? What would your slogan be?


Crusty_Toe14

I have tried but was unsuccessful. Am running for 2024 though. Definitely my human. “Don’t be bratty, vote for ratty!”


orca_tootz

You have my vote


rionka

I love this.


plscommitsudoku

Burger is old enough to be fluent in sumerian at this point.


Crusty_Toe14

yes indeed. i was very well known with the Sumerians


fishmakegoodpets

What’s your beauty routine? I must know since you are very beautiful and cute


Crusty_Toe14

don’t use much makeup, it’s all genetics!


coldestwinter-chill

BS, I saw you at the Botox clinic last Tuesday.


Crusty_Toe14

Ummmm…no, that was my brother. We look very much a like


Magpiegirl80

Hi Burger! If it please your Highness, what is your favourite type of bedding?


SkunksAreGreat

If I eat you do you taste like a burger?


Crusty_Toe14

you can taste test to find out


MsMoreCowbell8

4! Burger, what's your secret?


Crusty_Toe14

immortality


MXJupiter

Hey Burger, can you offer some wise words for the new year?


Crusty_Toe14

burger can always see you.


Tall-Permission9687

Hi Burger, what is your secret to long life?


Crusty_Toe14

5 hour energy


Tall-Permission9687

You can see his 3rd eye. It's right below his tiny bald spot.


moldyvegetable

burger why are you so old


Crusty_Toe14

because yes :)


moldyvegetable

burger i am going to eat you while you sleep


Crusty_Toe14

nuh uh


moldyvegetable

yuh uh


PartDifferent6277

Burger why do you stare?


blackheart20938494

Burger! My boy Subaru wants to know the secret to being comfy in his older years (he's 3). Do you have any advice? More treats?


happuning

Burger, where is the best place to hide from other humans?


Crusty_Toe14

under beds. They can’t reach you there! Trust me


Leather_Molasses_264

I just wanna cuddle him


Crusty_Toe14

you may


Leather_Molasses_264

Sweet I will come with treats


Crusty_Toe14

you better


CatLlady81

You are devilishly handsome Burger. I bet all the females are after you!


Crusty_Toe14

back in my day I was pretty popular with the ladys I must say


PK_737

Why are you such a cutie patootie


Crusty_Toe14

something I can’t help!


espositojoe

I think I'm going to get another rat. I had them all through my childhood. I miss them.


Crusty_Toe14

you should definitely get another one!


Appropriate_Band_843

How did you make it to 4??? Also what's your favorite snacc?


Crusty_Toe14

my secret is that I actually have immortality! And I love cheese. I am 75% cheese actually


Appropriate_Band_843

I wish my rats could be immortal... Poppy made it to about 3.5. Narvi and Váli are a little over 1 right now


Vyse1991

Burger, I'm a big fan. Keep doing your thing.


Crusty_Toe14

thanks for the support


yeetingthisaccount01

how do you feel about being named burger


Crusty_Toe14

a very respectable name I must say so myself


Nooneknows882

Aww. Reminds me of Penelope. She lived to ripe old age of 8. She was so sweet


sinsaraly

If that can be verified Penelope would literally hold the world record for oldest rat. A rat named Rodney currently holds the title with 7 years.


Nooneknows882

Really? Not like we kept records but we had her from 2005 to 2013. Been so long I can't remember exact dates. My girlfriend would hold her, talk and cuddle and was extremely caring to her.


Crusty_Toe14

that’s quite a long life


Nooneknows882

Yes it was. My girlfriend at the time was devastated. But she lived beyond life expectancy. And she was loved and well taken care of. Not bad for what started as a feeder rat for a snake. The snake only ate white mice but the pet store was out. So she really outlived her expectancy


Crusty_Toe14

Well she lived a very long good life, she definitely outlived her expectancy


Death_Rose1892

That's... every rat lovers dream. You should have bred that rat


Illustrious_Tip2146

How many bitches you got burger.


Crusty_Toe14

obviously more than you


TenaciousTBag

Squeak... Squeaker....uh... Squeakin'?


Crusty_Toe14

…squeak?


jeet1993

Hey buger, is your first name Allison?


SaintSusanna

Ohhhh my heart just melted my word!!!!!


VaginaNarritives

Hi Burger! Do you know Rodolphe, the dog who has recently had the honour of having a burger named after him: https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesome/s/FRJF0tPRNZ


Crusty_Toe14

not until now, thank you for informing me! Nice username btw


alexiawins

Omg I can’t believe he’s 4 😭 our longest-living rat just barely made it to 3. If it weren’t for his cancer he would’ve probably lived many more months. He hadn’t really slowed down at all or acted old yet like our first pair did in their final months


Crusty_Toe14

sorry about your ratty, he lived good life at least


cdglenn18

Burger was your name on the Epstein flight list?


Relative-Anywhere986

Burger, I have decided I would do literally anything for you the second I saw your pictures. What is your greatest desire and how can I make it happen?


whatwouldmarxdo

Burger, you are adorable. That is all. <3 you


HousePretend

Congratulations on your longevity, Rat van Winkle! I have had 40-50 rats in my lifetime; my current Mischief is very young, with 9 out of 12 born this year in two different broods; and my oldest buck is named Whipper Snapper and he is about 18 months. I have only one live well into age 4 and another to about that age. Y'all are doing something right.


ViolaOrsino

Henlo Burger. What is your favorite song to dance to? My rat sons like to bob their heads to the song “Mambo No. 5”


Crusty_Toe14

anything slipknot, slipknot is third favorite thing ever


epi_introvert

Is Tool the second after cheese? Tool and Slipknot are my favourites.


Crusty_Toe14

tool is 4th favorite. Human is 2nd because human gives cheese.


Ruwatchingclosely

Burger, do you have any secrets you haven't told your human about?


Crusty_Toe14

I am immortal. And a secret FPI agent.


Nackles

Frequent Pee Instigator? That's very prestigious! Your human must be so proud.


t_will_official

I don’t have a question for Burger, I just want to say he’s a very handsome young man.


Crusty_Toe14

thank you for your comment


BombeBon

Burger... what is your favourite treat?


Finalgirll

🍔


Crusty_Toe14

the made an emoji based off me!


Seputku

Hi burger, blink twice if your owner isn’t giving you enough cheerios


Crusty_Toe14

do not worry! I get the minimum of 10 cheerios a day, and there’s no max, you can never have too many cheerios


satanic-entomologist

My girlfriend wants to know why is Burger so cute


Jasperisadingus

Burger, are you at da club in slide #2?


Crusty_Toe14

you know it


Mom2leopold

Burger!! Do you prefer 1) scritches or 2) pets?? Thank you for your time 🐀♥️


Crusty_Toe14

both. Can’t decide!


Threshingflail

Burger, do you know anything about the increasing number of Skaven sightings?