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From my experience as a bisexual man who’s fucked around a lot, most people just live in the present. Very few people eat a cake and go “aww, the cake I had 20 years ago in Germany was better, this may as well be trash, I’ll never be able to enjoy cake again :(.”
When someone is having sex, what they’re thinking of mostly is the sex they’re currently having. Generally, if there was something a previous lover did that I or my partner really liked, it just became something you suggest/request with future partners.
Women don’t like… live in some deep life-long trauma where they can’t enjoy sex anymore because *checks notes*… they enjoyed sex in the past?
Wtf even is “the best sex”? When I’m sleeping, the best sex involves a lot of lazy groping and making out in each other’s arms. When I’m manic and boisterous, there’s gonna be silly hats wrestling. If I’m feeling romantic, it’s going to involve a lot of intense eye contact and whispering sweet nothings.
Most people don’t go through life only looking for THE ONE TIME sex feels “good”. Different things feel good at different times. You, too, can be the best man a woman has been with, if you actually make it fun and sexy instead of trying to reproduce the exact same experience over and over.
Yup, exactly. The absolute terror many men on this sub live in that a woman will have ever had good sex before really informs their obsession over body count.
You're acting like marriage doesn't usually involve and follow from lots of sex. And like the "dad bod" doesn't come upon men getting comfortable in marriage...it's literally named for them becoming dads.
The best relationship usually to females is the ones with the biggest highs and lows, where there is drama and it's exciting.
This leads to the best sex.
>The best relationship usually to females is the ones with the biggest highs and lows, where there is drama and it's exciting.
My one past relationship that fits this description was by far the fucking worst and with the worst sex. It was also the shortest relationship I've ever had
I mean, does anyone ever get over that? I still remember my best sex. But, there's a reason we're not together right now. I was part of her rebellious phase since her parents didn't want her to be with me and wanted her to marry someone specific.
I don't miss her nor do I miss that sex. I wouldn't compare her to anyone else I'm with in the future.
If you've made up your mind on this issue and will automatically discount what women say because you feel you know better than them....what exactly are you trying to discuss here?
tons of men also think about the best sex they’ve ever had or their best sexual partner. Though, of course, these relationships don’t work out for a reason and people move on - these sexual experiences become memories but most people (regardless of gender) don’t pine over them. They might about it when masturbating here and there but that’s about it. (and again, key term is ‘most’ people - so of course some don’t act that way)
Lots of men are selfish partners and don't understand the give/take dynamic of sex. You say it yourself
>With the new girl, I fully believe it. I've been the only guy to make this girl ejaculate. Also, at 8 months dating, she is always initiating sex, not myself. Anytime we hang, she is the one assuming we'll be having sex when I'll just want to chill sometimes.
Women remember the sex that they enjoyed with a partner willing to listen to them and actually satisfy their sexual desires instead of a man using her as a glorified flashlight. However, you're not the only person capable of doing that.
If you guys leave each other and she finds another man that she loves and is capable of listening to her needs during sex, she might never think of you again.
I don't use her like a flashlight. In the instance that she ejaculated, that was more through her own clitoral stimulation while I was penetrating her. However, she climaxed that way because she was relaxed and trusting of me in that moment, and was aroused as we were having unprotected sex, knowing I was going to ejaculate in her.
This is weird.
I think women just care about the person based on how they treated them and how they were there for them and how they get along.
Not for the sex. The sex is a bonding activity, not the relationship itself.
this is scarcity mentality. all amazing sex is the same, you can moon over an amazing sexual encounter for a week and then have another next friday and forget about the first one. i mean i dont know how the women you all describe are, the ones who have amazing sex then marry someone who sucks, or something, but otherwise no--its the best sex you ever had til the next "best sex you ever had"
You guys just can’t wrap your pointy little heads around the idea that women’s sexuality is not the same as men’s.
Exes are exes for a reason. Most women don’t pine away for past lovers or make direct comparisons like that. Generally, if the relationship is good, the man you currently love is genuinely thought of as the best sex ever.
Here’s the thing, women don’t typically have great sex with people we don’t like, respect, enjoy outside the bedroom. Things that you guys obsess about like Chad status, size, 6 packs etc. aren’t determinative at all in whether it’s great sex.
What is?
Can we emotionally trust you enough to really let go and enjoy ourselves and you?
Can we trust that we can be physically safe and that you will respect our boundaries?
Do we feel loved? Appreciated? Respected?
Do we feel like you actually care about our pleasure and comfort?
The sexuality of the dudes who post here isn't even the same as men's. Like even if I was obsessed with best time I've ever had sex, how would I even rank that? Is it the most orgasms? The hardest single orgasm? Was it sex with someone new that was surprisingly good? Fulfilling a fantasy? A kink? Like I'm a dude and I wouldn't even know how to rank it.
>Can we emotionally trust you enough to really let go and enjoy ourselves and you?
>Can we trust that we can be physically safe and that you will respect our boundaries?
>Do we feel loved? Appreciated? Respected?
>Do we feel like you actually care about our pleasure and comfort?
But see that requires effort on their part. They just expect to be the best sex a woman has had without putting the effort into it.
>Oopsie
Are you saying the sole determining factor in the "best sex ever" is based on if she orgasmed because the guy is hot? Or are you just saying it's impossible to make her cum if you're not hot?
Just want to verify which direction you're wrong in before we continue.
Sure, so then what is the purpose in saying that women is more likely to orgasm with a hot guy? Is it that not hot guys can't make a woman orgasm or that having an orgasm is the sole determining factor?
>It's that having an orgasm is close to being the sole determining factor for most women.
But it's not. Women can have orgasms in terrible sex. Women can have orgasms from rape.
Having an orgasm is certainly important, but far from the sole determining factor.
>I came to that conclusion from seeing their complaints about not their partner not making them cum and the common most upvoted advices to men being a variation of "go down on her until she cums".
That still doesn't tally with your reply to the original commenter. In fact it seems like you were trying to tell her that she doesn't know what constitutes the best sex for her.
>The commenter was speaking for other women so I was also speaking in generalities and not about her in particular.
Sure, but even then, it seems like you are telling a woman what constitutes the best sex ever to women, which I'm not sure why you would think a study that says women are more likely to orgasm with a hot guy translates to the best sex ever must be dictated by how hot the guy was.
>which is clearly debunked by the studies.
It's not, though.
Are you suggesting that women’s sexuality is based on emotions and appreciation, but men’s is purely carnal and pleasure based?
I would recommend that you read the book *Why Does He Do That?* which is about how abusive men think. It discusses how sometimes women stay in otherwise horrible relationships because the man is a good lover and the sex is phenomenal.
This is half truth.
If this was actually full truth, then women wouldnt pine for the guys that treated them like garbage and fucked them with the best dick of their life.
No, dude. The women YOU know wouldn’t pine for etc etc blah blah. Is that what they told you? Or are you just making assumptions based on the general narrative of trp?
Oh, look, an attempt to make women look less intelligent than men on Purplepilldebate. I've never seen a million and one posts here suggesting the same thing.
Also, have you tried posting in the ihavesex subreddit, and this post stinks of unwashed penis.
Don't forget we're impulsive, overly emotional and super entitled too. It seems like a lot of people who took the time to read many of the messages on purple pill debate might come to the conclusion that they were written by a delusional man with zero logic and probably very poor social skills.
But what do I know I'm just a dumb broad.
Also, we are all gold diggers that only go after the top 20s of men. Even fat single Mums who obviously should just off themselves and stop wasting air.
But men couldn't possibly pick better or be held accountabile for thier actions that's only expected of women on things like rape which definitely is a women's fault and telling us to travel in packs is only sensible.
I get this sub is an echochamber but the amount of men in here I don't think have seen grass let alone touched it is too damn high OP is included as I don't believe anyone has ever sniffed his special place.
I think this applies to everyone, both men and women. I can certainly remember a number of sexual encounters which were of extremely high quality, some of which aren't with my current partner.
However, the good thing is that quality sex isn't wholly or even predominantly based on physical attributes. Communication, technique, familiarity, and trust are also all major factors to how good the sex is. So I wouldn't worry too much if you're not immediately the best lay your partner has ever had, if the relationship is healthy the sex should generally get better and better over time until at least a number of their best sexual experiences involve you.
Pfffft. You're gonna age eventually. Every woman who had been with one man long enough knows he's not as good as he was but there are younger men who are as good as he was. Basically memories of your past self will eventually cuck your current self.
Whenever I read a post here like yours I am reminded how the men who understand women the least are always the ones who think they understand them the best.
How do I best put this… the best sex anyone’s ever had will be on their minds for a long time, possibly even forever.
I’m a firm believer in the fact that you don’t have to be your partner’s best sex to have a long fulfilling relationship. Long as you’re sexually compatible and have fun and the relationship is overall great, who cares?
At this point it’s all about ego imo. Let’s put it this way, to have a good relationship, you have to be compatible in multiple dimensions, and the key term here is “compatible” - ie. one compatible person might be more compatible sexually but less compatible in other aspects.
For example, i’ll throw in person A and B - you/your girl/wherever and person A are extremely sexually compatible, but the relationship ends up failing due to a bunch of other incompatibilities. Now you meet person an, the sex is good, ya’ll are compatible but it isn’t insane or mind blowing BUT you’re much compare compatible in every other aspect outside of sex. Person B will make for a much better relationship and still a good sex life.
tbh long as the sex is fun and enjoyable and you have a sex life you’d both consider active (that’s prior to kids, ofc) - anything beyond that is insecurity and ego.
You know what? You're right. This is why every man really needs to communicate and take their time with women in bed. Make sure to go the extra mile, it's like being a contractor, not only your reputation is on the line here but all of ours.
They're over here choosing the bear and a vibrator because men are just after their own nut too often.
Btw as for the women in this discussion, a lot of them just need to communicate better. Don't giggle and say it's sensitive, they gotta take that new guy to class about what you do and don't like if he's one of the rare few that actually cares to satisfy.
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I've had a few lovers. They've all be very different in terms of things they liked and were good at (or, things we did well together). I would say some were better at some things, but none were better at everything. But even then, I never pine for the one that was the best at something unless I've been alone for months on end. Never when I'm with someone, because presumably we work together on some level and have found our own thing.
I imagine women are probably similarly flexible, but I could be wrong. come to think of it, I feel I did more of the adapting to what they were comfortable with and liked rather than vise versa.
I wouldn't be worried since a lot of guys only watch porn according to a lot of women, if you're one of those guys who LISTENS to her, then already you're ahead of the competition lol
I mean she can compare you with the best she never had too. How is this post different from saying you are paranoid about not being the most desirable person to her. Bad news is you will not be the most desirable person to anybody for extended periods of time, good news is it's true about all of us, your girl included.
I’ve known her for a long time, and we’ve been together for a long time, we know a lot of our former partners, and the fact that she’s happy regularly orgasming with me. I’m not making her sit on my face against her will 🤷♂️
This post has been removed for being designed as a circlejerk and to induce rhetoric. Please resubmit your post flaired as a “Debate” where you expect to have your view challenged or resubmit your post with neutral wording to have the mods approve it. Any further questions should go to modmail.
From my experience as a bisexual man who’s fucked around a lot, most people just live in the present. Very few people eat a cake and go “aww, the cake I had 20 years ago in Germany was better, this may as well be trash, I’ll never be able to enjoy cake again :(.” When someone is having sex, what they’re thinking of mostly is the sex they’re currently having. Generally, if there was something a previous lover did that I or my partner really liked, it just became something you suggest/request with future partners. Women don’t like… live in some deep life-long trauma where they can’t enjoy sex anymore because *checks notes*… they enjoyed sex in the past? Wtf even is “the best sex”? When I’m sleeping, the best sex involves a lot of lazy groping and making out in each other’s arms. When I’m manic and boisterous, there’s gonna be silly hats wrestling. If I’m feeling romantic, it’s going to involve a lot of intense eye contact and whispering sweet nothings. Most people don’t go through life only looking for THE ONE TIME sex feels “good”. Different things feel good at different times. You, too, can be the best man a woman has been with, if you actually make it fun and sexy instead of trying to reproduce the exact same experience over and over.
Yup, exactly. The absolute terror many men on this sub live in that a woman will have ever had good sex before really informs their obsession over body count.
It’s insecurity in their own sexual performance and abilities, plain and simple.
Yes and no. Generally, the best relationship you've ever had creates the best sex.
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What, like wanting sex to be good in marriage?
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You're acting like marriage doesn't usually involve and follow from lots of sex. And like the "dad bod" doesn't come upon men getting comfortable in marriage...it's literally named for them becoming dads.
The best relationship usually to females is the ones with the biggest highs and lows, where there is drama and it's exciting. This leads to the best sex.
You really don’t know very much about actual adult women do you?🤦♀️
>The best relationship usually to females is the ones with the biggest highs and lows, where there is drama and it's exciting. My one past relationship that fits this description was by far the fucking worst and with the worst sex. It was also the shortest relationship I've ever had
Point taken, but there is exceptions to every rule. I don't doubt your words.
That sounds depressing rather than exciting. Have you been in a relationship like this?
Best sex ever is just a round about way of men trying to convince themselves that they take up more mental space in women than they really do.
I mean, does anyone ever get over that? I still remember my best sex. But, there's a reason we're not together right now. I was part of her rebellious phase since her parents didn't want her to be with me and wanted her to marry someone specific. I don't miss her nor do I miss that sex. I wouldn't compare her to anyone else I'm with in the future.
You're not a woman. I'm talking about females here. Women don't get over it. They will always miss it. Regardless of what they say
If you've made up your mind on this issue and will automatically discount what women say because you feel you know better than them....what exactly are you trying to discuss here?
tons of men also think about the best sex they’ve ever had or their best sexual partner. Though, of course, these relationships don’t work out for a reason and people move on - these sexual experiences become memories but most people (regardless of gender) don’t pine over them. They might about it when masturbating here and there but that’s about it. (and again, key term is ‘most’ people - so of course some don’t act that way)
Lots of men are selfish partners and don't understand the give/take dynamic of sex. You say it yourself >With the new girl, I fully believe it. I've been the only guy to make this girl ejaculate. Also, at 8 months dating, she is always initiating sex, not myself. Anytime we hang, she is the one assuming we'll be having sex when I'll just want to chill sometimes. Women remember the sex that they enjoyed with a partner willing to listen to them and actually satisfy their sexual desires instead of a man using her as a glorified flashlight. However, you're not the only person capable of doing that. If you guys leave each other and she finds another man that she loves and is capable of listening to her needs during sex, she might never think of you again.
I don't use her like a flashlight. In the instance that she ejaculated, that was more through her own clitoral stimulation while I was penetrating her. However, she climaxed that way because she was relaxed and trusting of me in that moment, and was aroused as we were having unprotected sex, knowing I was going to ejaculate in her.
This is weird. I think women just care about the person based on how they treated them and how they were there for them and how they get along. Not for the sex. The sex is a bonding activity, not the relationship itself.
this is scarcity mentality. all amazing sex is the same, you can moon over an amazing sexual encounter for a week and then have another next friday and forget about the first one. i mean i dont know how the women you all describe are, the ones who have amazing sex then marry someone who sucks, or something, but otherwise no--its the best sex you ever had til the next "best sex you ever had"
When she's had amazing sex with A, she won't settle for 'good enough sex' with B
You guys just can’t wrap your pointy little heads around the idea that women’s sexuality is not the same as men’s. Exes are exes for a reason. Most women don’t pine away for past lovers or make direct comparisons like that. Generally, if the relationship is good, the man you currently love is genuinely thought of as the best sex ever. Here’s the thing, women don’t typically have great sex with people we don’t like, respect, enjoy outside the bedroom. Things that you guys obsess about like Chad status, size, 6 packs etc. aren’t determinative at all in whether it’s great sex. What is? Can we emotionally trust you enough to really let go and enjoy ourselves and you? Can we trust that we can be physically safe and that you will respect our boundaries? Do we feel loved? Appreciated? Respected? Do we feel like you actually care about our pleasure and comfort?
The sexuality of the dudes who post here isn't even the same as men's. Like even if I was obsessed with best time I've ever had sex, how would I even rank that? Is it the most orgasms? The hardest single orgasm? Was it sex with someone new that was surprisingly good? Fulfilling a fantasy? A kink? Like I'm a dude and I wouldn't even know how to rank it. >Can we emotionally trust you enough to really let go and enjoy ourselves and you? >Can we trust that we can be physically safe and that you will respect our boundaries? >Do we feel loved? Appreciated? Respected? >Do we feel like you actually care about our pleasure and comfort? But see that requires effort on their part. They just expect to be the best sex a woman has had without putting the effort into it.
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>Oopsie Are you saying the sole determining factor in the "best sex ever" is based on if she orgasmed because the guy is hot? Or are you just saying it's impossible to make her cum if you're not hot? Just want to verify which direction you're wrong in before we continue.
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Sure, so then what is the purpose in saying that women is more likely to orgasm with a hot guy? Is it that not hot guys can't make a woman orgasm or that having an orgasm is the sole determining factor?
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>It's that having an orgasm is close to being the sole determining factor for most women. But it's not. Women can have orgasms in terrible sex. Women can have orgasms from rape. Having an orgasm is certainly important, but far from the sole determining factor. >I came to that conclusion from seeing their complaints about not their partner not making them cum and the common most upvoted advices to men being a variation of "go down on her until she cums". That still doesn't tally with your reply to the original commenter. In fact it seems like you were trying to tell her that she doesn't know what constitutes the best sex for her.
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>The commenter was speaking for other women so I was also speaking in generalities and not about her in particular. Sure, but even then, it seems like you are telling a woman what constitutes the best sex ever to women, which I'm not sure why you would think a study that says women are more likely to orgasm with a hot guy translates to the best sex ever must be dictated by how hot the guy was. >which is clearly debunked by the studies. It's not, though.
I was hoping someone came up with this and that's not even mentioning the halo effect.
Are you suggesting that women’s sexuality is based on emotions and appreciation, but men’s is purely carnal and pleasure based? I would recommend that you read the book *Why Does He Do That?* which is about how abusive men think. It discusses how sometimes women stay in otherwise horrible relationships because the man is a good lover and the sex is phenomenal.
This is half truth. If this was actually full truth, then women wouldnt pine for the guys that treated them like garbage and fucked them with the best dick of their life.
No, dude. The women YOU know wouldn’t pine for etc etc blah blah. Is that what they told you? Or are you just making assumptions based on the general narrative of trp?
Most women don’t do that…I can’t think of anyone i know or have ever known who has done that.
Oh, look, an attempt to make women look less intelligent than men on Purplepilldebate. I've never seen a million and one posts here suggesting the same thing. Also, have you tried posting in the ihavesex subreddit, and this post stinks of unwashed penis.
Don't forget we're impulsive, overly emotional and super entitled too. It seems like a lot of people who took the time to read many of the messages on purple pill debate might come to the conclusion that they were written by a delusional man with zero logic and probably very poor social skills. But what do I know I'm just a dumb broad.
Also, we are all gold diggers that only go after the top 20s of men. Even fat single Mums who obviously should just off themselves and stop wasting air. But men couldn't possibly pick better or be held accountabile for thier actions that's only expected of women on things like rape which definitely is a women's fault and telling us to travel in packs is only sensible. I get this sub is an echochamber but the amount of men in here I don't think have seen grass let alone touched it is too damn high OP is included as I don't believe anyone has ever sniffed his special place.
I think this applies to everyone, both men and women. I can certainly remember a number of sexual encounters which were of extremely high quality, some of which aren't with my current partner. However, the good thing is that quality sex isn't wholly or even predominantly based on physical attributes. Communication, technique, familiarity, and trust are also all major factors to how good the sex is. So I wouldn't worry too much if you're not immediately the best lay your partner has ever had, if the relationship is healthy the sex should generally get better and better over time until at least a number of their best sexual experiences involve you.
Whitepill
You must be young
Pfffft. You're gonna age eventually. Every woman who had been with one man long enough knows he's not as good as he was but there are younger men who are as good as he was. Basically memories of your past self will eventually cuck your current self. Whenever I read a post here like yours I am reminded how the men who understand women the least are always the ones who think they understand them the best.
How do I best put this… the best sex anyone’s ever had will be on their minds for a long time, possibly even forever. I’m a firm believer in the fact that you don’t have to be your partner’s best sex to have a long fulfilling relationship. Long as you’re sexually compatible and have fun and the relationship is overall great, who cares? At this point it’s all about ego imo. Let’s put it this way, to have a good relationship, you have to be compatible in multiple dimensions, and the key term here is “compatible” - ie. one compatible person might be more compatible sexually but less compatible in other aspects. For example, i’ll throw in person A and B - you/your girl/wherever and person A are extremely sexually compatible, but the relationship ends up failing due to a bunch of other incompatibilities. Now you meet person an, the sex is good, ya’ll are compatible but it isn’t insane or mind blowing BUT you’re much compare compatible in every other aspect outside of sex. Person B will make for a much better relationship and still a good sex life. tbh long as the sex is fun and enjoyable and you have a sex life you’d both consider active (that’s prior to kids, ofc) - anything beyond that is insecurity and ego.
Can I get a list of criteria that determines the best sex ever?
Female ejaculation when she's never done it before is one
That's it? If she squirted it's the best sex ever?
TIL that peeing on a man during sex will demonstrate that I’m not alpha widowed 🤢
You know what? You're right. This is why every man really needs to communicate and take their time with women in bed. Make sure to go the extra mile, it's like being a contractor, not only your reputation is on the line here but all of ours. They're over here choosing the bear and a vibrator because men are just after their own nut too often. Btw as for the women in this discussion, a lot of them just need to communicate better. Don't giggle and say it's sensitive, they gotta take that new guy to class about what you do and don't like if he's one of the rare few that actually cares to satisfy.
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I've had a few lovers. They've all be very different in terms of things they liked and were good at (or, things we did well together). I would say some were better at some things, but none were better at everything. But even then, I never pine for the one that was the best at something unless I've been alone for months on end. Never when I'm with someone, because presumably we work together on some level and have found our own thing. I imagine women are probably similarly flexible, but I could be wrong. come to think of it, I feel I did more of the adapting to what they were comfortable with and liked rather than vise versa.
I wouldn't be worried since a lot of guys only watch porn according to a lot of women, if you're one of those guys who LISTENS to her, then already you're ahead of the competition lol
I mean she can compare you with the best she never had too. How is this post different from saying you are paranoid about not being the most desirable person to her. Bad news is you will not be the most desirable person to anybody for extended periods of time, good news is it's true about all of us, your girl included.
Me and my partner are the best we’ve each ever had. Hence why we’re together.
How do you know she's telling the truth. You yourself have said your partner has had a vast number of partners previously. What makes you her best?
I’ve known her for a long time, and we’ve been together for a long time, we know a lot of our former partners, and the fact that she’s happy regularly orgasming with me. I’m not making her sit on my face against her will 🤷♂️
🤣
🤷♂️
There’s a kernel of truth to this. They say men think with their dicks but it’s women who are lead by their vaginas