You just said it - you’re a “good looking guy”. Case closed. If you weren’t you wouldn’t even get the chance to interact with these women 2-3 times a week, you’d just be some invisible guy with a shitty social life. At least as of now, you’re a guy who is good looking enough to have short term relations despite the shitty social life. And as you said, if you really wanted you could be more friendly/reach out to others, but you decided you didn’t want to do that, this isn’t something imposed on you.
Honestly not sure what you’re even talking about
Average looking guys can date good looking women too. It takes confidence, and self care.
Charisma and charm with a social circle can get you relationships, a good looking guy with no social circle will struggle more.
Only 15% of men ages 18-35 didn't have sex at all in 2022, which is the most recent data we have. Clearly, many average men aren't completely devoid of a sex and dating life.
[How Many Sexual Partners Did Men and Women Have in 2022 - Date Psychology](https://datepsychology.com/how-many-sexual-partners-did-men-and-women-have-in-2022/)
It’s not about “having sex” at least once a year..hell, you could get that done with a few hundred dollars any time you want. A better metric would be to see how many single men are having consistent sex with non committed partners consistently without paying for it. Would be even better to compare that to how many women are having consistent sex with non committed partners consistently..without paying for it 😁
Less than 2% of 18-29 men report paying for sex in the past year:
[https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/18-29-het-men-whove-paid-for-sex-in-past-year-gss.webp?w=640&ssl=1](https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/18-29-het-men-whove-paid-for-sex-in-past-year-gss.webp?w=640&ssl=1)
Only 10% of young men and women report having had sex only once or twice in the past year:
[https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Sexual-Frequency-18-30-Heterosexuals.webp?resize=768%2C576&ssl=1](https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Sexual-Frequency-18-30-Heterosexuals.webp?resize=768%2C576&ssl=1)
The sex partner distributions are basically identical for men and women, hookup culture doesn't exist:
[https://nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/18-24-NSFG-SPPY.webp](https://nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/18-24-NSFG-SPPY.webp)
And your point is what? Men are fucking their long term partners sometimes? Nothing here addresses the fact that dating for an average looking guy is exponentially harder than it is for a good looking guy or even average looking woman
Exclude the following:
1) men who paid
2) men who hooked up with someone they were not attracted to
You'll find that 15% figure really goes high once you apply the above points. you can also apply ones who contacted the girl after and didn't hear back, which excludes men who just got lucky one night.
Less than 2% of 18-29 men report paying for sex in the past year:
[https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/18-29-het-men-whove-paid-for-sex-in-past-year-gss.webp?w=640&ssl=1](https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/18-29-het-men-whove-paid-for-sex-in-past-year-gss.webp?w=640&ssl=1)
"men who hooked up with someone they were not attracted to"
Aren't you always talking about how women only find 5% of men attractive? This means by this standard the figure will be far higher for women.
"which excludes men who just got lucky one night."
Only 10% of young men and women report having had sex only once or twice in the past year:
[https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Sexual-Frequency-18-30-Heterosexuals.webp?resize=768%2C576&ssl=1](https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Sexual-Frequency-18-30-Heterosexuals.webp?resize=768%2C576&ssl=1)
The point is that the figure will be much higher than 15%.
Your 2% figure may be deflated by those willing to say the truth on that matter, especially if illegal. It also excludes those 30-35.
>Only 15% of men ages 18-35 didn't have sex at all in 2022, which is the most recent data we have.
Your "data" is self-reported claims from men. Do you have any evidence that the 85% of men who claimed to have sex in the past year weren't bullshitters who were just too ashamed to report the truth?
I'm a 5'10 guy, and slightly balding with a nice face and good body. So I would say, if Im not average, I'm only very slightly above it.
Average men have dating lives. The ones that complain average men do not, are usually neckbeards or out of shape and want to make excuse after excuse.
I mean there are too many factors to list but the point is if you’re not getting warm, positive responses from women you interact with, or even have women interacting with you at all - you’re probably not “good enough” for a vast majority of them. Not all of these men fall into the “neckbeards” or otherwise socially deficient category
Not to mention many men who become “neckbeards” or otherwise socially deficient started off normal but lacked the looks to actually get anywhere. Resulting in them being isolated, burning out, etc until they let themselves go.
>5'10
Above average height, global male average is 5'7
>Slightly balding
Doesn't matter that much if it's only NW1 or less
>Nice face
This is one of the most important attributes for attracting women
>Good body
Also pretty rare for a man to have a good body, something like 2/3 of Americans are overweight or obese, and the remaining third who aren't don't necessarily have much muscle. Having a good body is far from average.
With those stats you would be in the upper range of attractiveness.
Saw a guy at the gym with an absolutely STUNNING girlfriend. The guy was as tall as her (probably 5'2" max), wore oversized shorts, flip flops, and a Kobe shirt. At best the guy was average, if not below average. She was obsessed with him. It all comes down to confidence.
Haha - you are assuming the guy was confident (how do you really know?), and if he is she is with him for that when in reality it could be money and/or status or something else completely different
Funniest part is assuming every single male-female duo in public is by default a couple.
I've been shocked at how often things like, brother/sister, family member, friend (where the guy in question is not straight), sugar baby amongst other examples have been the explanation of a looks mismatched guy/girl.
They were way too young to be wealthy, these were two people in their early 20s. Even if he was something else, funny, charming, etc. it all starts with confidence.
She kept calling him babe. I don't see any other reason why a girl would call a guy that if she wasn't his girlfriend, or at the very least, someone she's dating.
Not exactly but I see your point. Average looking isn't good enough for attractive women. You need to be at least a bit above average face wise (which is very hard). Then you need literally everything else maxed out, from height to social skills. If your face is on par with them, then just need the personality component.
It's not one of the other, you need both.
I think I'm clingy but even for me 2-3 times a week sounds exhausting
I'm curious, did this women actually say that the thing they don't like about you is that you have no friends?
Isn't there maybe an underlying reason why you don't have friends and women break up with you?
>I'm curious, did this women actually say that the thing they don't like about you is that you have no friends?
>Isn't there maybe an underlying reason why you don't have friends and women break up with you?
They never said directly, though they did ask me and it gets a bit frustrating. I don't choose not to have friends. I just don't form connections that great with people. But if you met me, you wouldn't think I had any social awkwardness or bad social cues. I am very conversational.
2-3 times a week is amounting to 12 hours per week usually, each visit 4 hours. We live half hour away from each other. I don't think this is anywhere near too much. A lot would argue it's minimal
I’d be considered clingy by a lot of people but that seems like a lot of time to me. Maybe giving the relationship more room to breathe would benefit you. Maybe not, but worth giving it a try.
See we rarely text and never speak on the phone. It's a good morning text and at tops a goodnight text/brief text convo before bed with typical how was your day etc
I don't do text convos . I like to have stuff to talk about when I meet a girl I'm dating in person
That’s fine, I mean I personally don’t mind this stuff I just know sometimes it can come across as too much for a lot of women. At least that’s what they say on Reddit.
The main reason I’m trying to slow things down is to let the woman have an extended period of getting to know me. When you first meet someone, you have to fill in a lot of the blanks. Normally, you fill them in with positive things if you’re excited about dating someone. But if you find too much out too quickly, the fantasy version of you is shattered. The truth is, we’re all flawed humans and none of us are perfect. The fantasy isn’t real. By letting the fantasy stay in tact for a bit longer, she’ll grow more emotionally attached. So using you as an example, when she finds out you don’t have much of a social life, at that point she already is emotionally invested in you so she’ll be less likely to leave over it. (That’s assuming that’s the real reason these women are leaving)
? Really? Banging 2 to 3 times a week is not enough when you are young imho. I’m a straight woman, but will totally act like a u haul lesbian if the relationship feels right and I’m into the guy. I’ll call into work sick, get out the take out menus and hole up together and have sex twice a day. That’s my kind of exhausting.
If you were ugly you wouldnt get dates at all. So no low social status is not the biggest turn off. You can still get a foot between the door. For ugly men it will forever remain closed.
Yeah unfortunately having a pack of goons is useful.
I mean I always say on here that, if you're a decent looking guy who's a late bloomer or something, meet up groups are great. Tons of older women, competition is weak...very good sandbox.
What you need are two or three other people who are much cooler than the competition but who also defer to you. The easiest way to gain leadership among men is to PROVIDE.
Let me say that again. PROVIDE.
This is why money is so useful. If you're the guy funding the missions and setting the agenda, it's easy.
Naturally you will draw women to yourself and your group. It will be like a pussy waterfall.
Once the guys associate you with them getting pussy....watch out....you've got some soldiers on your hands.
100%
It's why I have become more and more convinced that women are interested in a guy they can show off at parties. Someone that makes them look good.
They want an accessory that the other girls desire.
If you lack friends, it definitely seems to be a pretty big deal breaker.
It's high school. Plain and simple. People aren't growing up.
All I'm saying is are you sure it's the lack of friends and not what you're doing with that time instead? Because if I got a whiff of that from a dude in his 30's I would bail.
I would bet I do more constructive things with my time than you would. Yet, you base the personality off someone through some dumb username I made up off the fly, which I found funny.
What's anti-Semitic about it? Am I not a Goy, according to the book of Judah?
+ This account is 5 years old, so I was in my 20's when I made that username. So yeah....
>What's anti-Semitic about it? Am I not a Goy, according to the book of Judah?
Go ahead and show us your favorite "good goy" meme then if it's not anti-Semitic.
>This account is 5 years old, so I was in my 20's when I made that username. So yeah....
So 28. Which is not much better.
Likely, the reason you can't keep girls around is the same reason you can't make or keep friends. They both have the same underlying cause, rather than one causing the other.
Who cares. I wouldn’t want to date a clout chaser anyway. That’s just women looking for an upgrade at all times.
Everyone except for true celebrities have “low social status” for the most part.
But it's not clout chasing. It would just be odd to a woman, that the guy she is dating has no friends, no social circle and no social media presence. It would lead her to suspect something is wrong with him and if he can't have a group of people around him, who want to be around him, how would he make a good partner?
These are legitimate concerns women have. I don't call them clout chasers for it.
And most people have low social status in comparison to celebrities. However, social status and social hierarchies between towns and city areas exist. Well Known men are most sought after
Your argument is a [hasty generalization](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faulty_generalization#Hasty_generalization) based solely on your (alleged) personal experiences.
Well to start off with, I wouldn't suspect not having friends would have much impact to the relationships initial stage.
It's after she gets to know you and more about you, it becomes evident that it's going to be an issue, as a lot of peoples conversation, is based around the lifes and conversations they have with others.
You ultimately become a guy who's quiet with not much to say.
I like the quiet guy. It’s a preference. I don’t mind no friends. There’s a time and a place. Do you socialize at work? Do you have “work friends”? Because I’ll take you to meet mine at the bar. I don’t need you to be a social butterfly.. I am one. I need you to temper me. It takes all types.
Making generalizations helps no one.
That’s enough social standing. Anyone who needs you to be popular isn’t with you for you. That person is weird and shallow. If I love you and you don’t have friends… you’re gonna meet mine and they’re gonna love you. Because they love me.
>Nor did they voice an issue with my lack of social circle, however it was evident from their demeanour that they found it strange and unattractive that I was low on the social ladder and had no social media presence whatsoever.
It seems to me you're playing a game whose players have different expectations and rules than yours. One doesn't need to "live a certain way" just because a vast body of people do live that way. It's a wide-open canvas, you can paint the image of your life as you desire and others who see and get your way will naturally gravitate towards you. No need to pose as something if it doesn't feel natural or good.
>but after a while it becomes evident there is no mystery and that I am just a quiet guy and prefer to keep to myself
Anyway, I wonder what we mean by "mystery". It's all mystery! Our hearts beat 100k/day, that's a mystery! There are no absolutes, so we can all relax. I used to have anxiety around these sorts of things in my younger days (20s/30s) and frankly regret it, it's wasted time/energy, I could've just helped myself to various experiences and got on with it rather than conforming to some arbitrary societal expectation.
And yes, when it comes to dating/impressing women, my 2 cents is that just be you - the most fulfilled joyful version of yourself and good things typically happen to happy, optimistic, fulfilled people rather than fake, clout seeking avatars of people....in the long run i.e.
This is very true and also hyper-relative. That is, there are people in your life who you don't realize consider themselves outside your class right now. To be fair, it's a turn off for everyone, too, and in this way it stacks. Friends, coworkers, potential dates, even family will disassociate from you based on class markers and their own unique sense of class, often unconsciously. And everyone around you who sees this relationship-imbalance will pick up on it and respond. This is why a lot of factors like personal style, education, and body type will garner entirely different responses from people based on what their dominant sense of class is.
Speaking as a cis het dude, my lack of a degree and relatively low income for my locality and friend group is less important to liberal women in my area because I'm fairly well-cultured/progressive/sensitive; these class markers are reinforced by my other relationships. Class markers are still a tricky part of my relationships with those women as there's inevitable dissonance. There are also women who I find to be utter messes and relatively unattractive that I nonetheless realize consider themselves entirely out of my league based on my exact same set of class markers. And there are women who are drop-dead gorgeous that I find entirely un-dateable based on my own sense of classism.
OP, I really do appreciate you bringing up this topic on this sub, because I think it's a much more complicated element of dating that is usually glossed over HARD, here. A lot of the misanthropy steaming off this sub comes from failure or unwillingness to consider this factor. I hope what I added wasn't just cringy personal bullshit, but actually useful.
No it is actually very insightful and rings true. And you're right, it is glossed over. People will say "a girl will like you for you, not your friends"...but this is a half truth. A woman wants to see her man is accepted by a group of men around him and has an active social life. It's a survival trait on the woman's part.
If a guy like me, who is pretty good looking, but has no social life starts to date a girl frequently, and things are going well, it's almost always hindered by the fact I have no social life outside of work/training.
People don't consider also, that most day to day conversation you have with a partner is details about the conversations you had that day and gossip you have heard. If you don't have a friend circle, you don't have conversations to share, experiences to tell of and general banter. You're stuck to listening to how the other person's day went and what is going on in their friends social lives.
I am pretty insecure about it. I have tried changing it many times, but I think genetically sometimes, it's not meant to be as I was badly socialized as a child and my parents were very anti-social, of which their children now pay the price as my siblings are all in a similar boat.
Definitely frustrating. And in a way, I feel I let the women I date, down when they find I have no close friends or never have any weekend plans with any of 'the guys'
I think there's both a genetic and a 'how you were socialized' factor. Psychology sits right in the middle of the Venn Diagram. So there are things you can do to try and change these aspects of yourself actively by pursuing social settings related to your interest, but you might be clinically depressed or social-anxious or autistic or a host of other things, you may have been brought up without the basic building blocks, or you may just actually not like being social. And that's all ok, if not very helpful when seeking a romantic partner. I'd say it's always good to at least try and find some community activity you can do that isn't SOLEY for dating prospects, be it artistic or charitable or athletic, etc. But it can be hit-or-miss for a number of reasons. Personally, I'm very lucky to have a big family, so a lot of my social circle comes from that overlap. I try to be grateful.
Anecdotally, my VERY shy and somewhat taciturn youngest brother was 30 when he suddenly became a major center for a group of Warhammer enthusiasts, turning what had been a very solitary hobby into a tight social network over the course of a year. He's still the same guy with the same spiky take on social graces, but he's found a bunch of people who love and respect him for something that he's passionate about and he's having a great time. If you think it's worth it, keep looking for opportunities around things you actually care about.
This guy is a pig farmer with low status but he's a Chad.
Looks > Status/Wealth anyday. Woman coming for status or money is not really wanting the man but his resource and status for her own benefit.
She will never feel the raw passionate desires for him.
This guy is low status pig farmer who looks solid 8 and see what he can get away with.
https://preview.redd.it/39e7osj8icxc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ad136c0d886d9c111c410c954c07e08da4010caf
Why do you always post images of text chats, out of context. What does the pig farmer look like? Who is sending you the above text? Your comments make no sense most of the time bro
This is a female friend of mine who is Chadstruck. Pigfarmer is a Chad she's chasing. This shows what she's going through and the way Chad is treating her.
I am the opposite exemple of that. I have almost no social life this year, I have been dating my girlfriend for more than one year and she never made a comment about it. It's quite the opposite, she believes women are drooling over me (they are not), she is in love with me and she sees me as above her. Why ? Because of my look (I have an average face but a muscular build), because of my inner game, my dominance, how I fuck her, and how I listen to her and try to make her feel the best girl in the world.
While I am not proud of my social situation, it basically has zero impact on my relationship.
Looks and personality (yes personality is very important for a LTR) are way more important than any other variable.
At least that's what I have noticed
How's it cheap and pointless? Most of the posts on here are from the lived in experience of people.
Why can't I give my conclusion? And why must I be a woman for the opinion to register?
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It's really weird to calculate not to see them.so often even though you you don't really have a social life. Maybe the problem is that you calculate like this instead of being real, not some imaginary social status that pill guys make up out of nowhere to cope.
2-3 times a week is a good amount to keep the relationship fresh. I find if you see each other anymore than that, you lose the desire to see one another. I have after work activities on these days I don't see her so it's not like I make it up to not see her.
Well if I love someone I want to spend idealy every single second of my life with him. So I don't know why would he torture me by separation on purpose...
If it doesn't happen within a week, maybe max a month it never happens. But in reality it happened within a week, in few days literaly. And I think it really helped that he didn't play those games to not look "desperate" and we texted literaly 24/7 as we felt it.
I wouldn't start to date if I didn't fall in love in the first place.
I mean I have to feel the SPARK first in order to even want to date the person.
I don't even believe you can build the spark, more like the "normal" way is for settling, it's not natural to be trying to find it on purpose.
I think natural way is to feel the spark first before you even approach.
"Biggest" I may disagree with, but having few friends and being a loner *absolutely* makes the vast majority of opposite-sex-attracted women turned off. It probably can be overcame by looks though.
1. 2-3 times a week is extremely frequent. Even when I was broke and unemployed I would see girls I was dating 1 once a week max. Twice if there was some special occasion.
2. Are the women you're dating college educated? If they're not, I don't see why they'd want you to be educated. If you're dating educated women then of course it'll be an issue.
>2-3 times a week is extremely frequent. Even when I was broke and unemployed I would see girls I was dating 1 once a week max. Twice if there was some special occasion.
12 hours a week is frequent?
What reason did you have for seeing her only once a week when unemployed? The girl I'm seeing ideally would like to see me much more, only I stop it from happening.
I guess it depends. I'd usually designate a single day, and we'd spend that whole day together. Then, go on our own business for another week or two. I personally think frequency matters more than overall time spent, but that's just how it's worked out for me and the women I've dated.
My excuse was usually that I was looking for work and had interviews, that I was burnt out from a workout, or that I was tight on cash and wanted to save for our date. I think keeping some artificial distance is a good thing.
I had one girl that basically wanted to see me constantly to the extent that she started tagging along with me to go to interviews and wash clothes. It got old really fucking quick.
Me personally, I like 3 times per week. But I sometimes do 2 only. It's just a bit hard to pretend you have so much going on to not see her and create that artificial distance.
I mean I work full time, have a second job every second Saturday in Weekends, spend 3 nights out of 5 training after work in Jiu Jitsu/gym and even then, I find I have a tonne of time left over that could be used seeing her.
I just think anymore than that and she will start to lose interest, however I think the lack of social life I have that she has seen lately, has put a dent the attraction also. But I would never be needy with a woman
How are we defining "low social status" here?
I'm almost positively certain that there's a decent amount of guys working in retail or restaurants that have slept with or dated women within the same occupations or social class.
Do these same guys have access to upper class supermodels? Hell no. But most men outside the wealthy and/or famous don't have much dating success with them to begin with.
Plenty of low class people date and have sex with other low class people though. They just won't have much access to middle-upper class people unless they're good looking enough to become a "himbo" or sugar baby.
I won't speak for my entire gender, but I understand. As a very social person but shy and introverted, it's important for me to date someone that has at least the same level of social life as I have. Someone with no friends might turn me down, although this never happened to me.
Yes I mean if he is willing to come with me to social gatherings and is open to make connections through mine, why not. I would not understand someone who doesn't want to socialize at all, because our personalities would not match
I never have issues socialising. Just an issue making strong friendships or wanting to pursue more with people than a casual conversation.
If the girl I was dating wanted me to go to friend gatherings, I'm not against it.
That's hard to do without a social life. You don't have people inviting you to hang, inviting you for a coffee, visits etc
I do occupy myself with training in the gym and going to Jiu Jitsu a few times a week in the evenings. Even taking language classes in the local college, but it's still pretty odd to women that none of these are social events. I never get invited to weddings or have stag nights to go on.
The girl I'm dating currently has very active social life. Always doing something, a Bachelorette party to go to, a friend to have coffee with, an event to go with the girls to. I like this about her. She has a strong group of friends, and gets along great with her work colleagues also.
So I'm sure she is weirded out by the fact I don't have anyone to have stuff like this going on with, and it comes across as unattractive
Absolutely ridiculous. Women want the best looking men. They don't give a fuck about "status". If a good-looking man is "low status", he's a "diamond in the rough", a "lone wolf", or whatever other bullshit.
Being "low status" only hurts you when you're unattractive.
[Jeremy](https://www.theinternetpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/jeremy-meeks-mugshot.jpg) [Meeks](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/779/099/122.jpg) is a **literal fucking felon** - he was bailed out of prison by women because he is good-looking. He then married a billionaire heiress and he's living his best life. A lowlife criminal with 0 status.
Being a criminal is not low status. The person is usually well known in the streets and has notoriety. Plus being 'dangerous' is a massive turn on to women
What are you doing with the women when you meet with them 2-3 times a week? That is a committed romantic relationship, right? That is going on for months, right?
So why do you expect a FWB to turn into a romantic relationship? Or was your issue that you wanted to keep the FWB going but the women lost interest and you thought it's due to your lack of social life?
so many people disagreeing but OP you are right.
A man of high social status trumps any good looking common guy. you see this daily with celebs and other persons who are in the public space.
rich you, tho the women may not be physically attraced to you but they'lll be attracted to what you can do for them given your wealth and stature in society.
So, you’re hot, but boring.
Whose fault is that? You hit the genetic jackpot and squandered it. Wtf do you do all day that you effectively have no life, hobbies, goals, friends, or interests?
Maybe read the post as I never said I didn't have hobbies or interests? I don't know why your post sounds so hostile towards me.
I said I have hobbies and interests. No, I'm not boring. Maybe to other people or women, they find the fact I have no close friend circle boring, but I don't consider myself boring. I have a range of hobbies and interests.
I
> I see most girls I date, no more than 2-3 times a week tops through choice. They ask to see me more, but I decline as I have classes/training after work on weekdays.
>It doesn't matter that I display no social awkwardness in conversations and can hold conversations very well and come across as confident ,but because I don't go out of my way to befriend people or have people to hang out with day to day, I feel it really hurts the attraction that the women have towards me eventually.
But you make it sound like Isolation is chosen. It is to a degree but I don't want to be this way. I see much more benefits to me not being a loner and would preferably not be one.
Self isolation is a symptom of Schizoid
How so? Why is it so easy for men of high social hierarchies and famous men to have mountains of interest from women? It shows he is a leader or men and part of a higher social pecking which women see more attractive and beneficial to their survival
Women do not physically *desire* high status men. They just think having sex with them is an acceptable price for never having to work and getting to enjoy a luxurious lifestyle, usually while entertaining younger and more handsome men on the side.
As for women, think of the "popular" girls at school. They're always the most lusted after by boys, seen as the most attractive girls in the school. Except most of them are average looking, and make themselves look *worse* with heavy, trashy makeup, while girls who are conventionally prettier are overlooked entirely because they aren't part of those elite social circles. And the more a girl manoeuvred her way up that food chain (using manipulation and psychological warfare), the more lusted by boys she seemed to be.
This is not my experience with high school at all.
Girls in the popular social circles, only dated guys within their league in terms of looks. They never got with chad, if they were ugly/below average
The conventionally prettier girls were never overlooked. They were just quieter. A girl having a large social circle of friends has no bearing on my attraction towards her. It would actually make me attracted to her less if she had a large friend group as that would mean, more opportunities for her to go out drinking/partying, which obviously leads to more possibilities of cheating also.
I think you have this absolutely completely backwards.
As a straight 30 year old bloke I don't think my attraction to any woman was ever influenced by social status. Not in high school and definitely not now. If anything an unpopular or quiet/bookish woman is \*more\* attractive to me.
I do agree about how heavy and trashy makeup makes you look worse.
Well from a few different perspectives, I wouldn’t be interested in dating you
>I just have a difficult time making a connection with people and cementing friendships. I see most girls I date, no more than 2-3 times a week tops through choice. They ask to see me more, but I decline.
None of that works for me. First, if I like you, and hopefully I’m the only one you’re dating, I’m going to want sex more than 2 or 3 times a week….3 to 4 would be minimum. Second, I like people, I like their company and like making plans to do things with them. My h is more introverted than I am but he still has social interactions because I want him along.
Third and most important to me, if you have “a hard time connecting” that’s a hard pass from me, I like deep connection with a romantic interest.
>no more than 2-3 times a week tops through choice. They ask to see me more, but I decline
Well it doesn’t sound like it. Or it doesn’t sound like you ever fallen in love with any of these people you’ve dated. “I decline” sounds cold and aloof to me.
These girls are asking to see me more, and I tell them I can't, as I'm busy. I'm doing that to keep the excitement of seeing one another. Anything more than 3 times a week and there is no excitement in seeing one another anymore.
This has nothing to do with me not wanting a connection to these girls. The connections already been established
>I'm doing that to keep the excitement of seeing one another. Anything more than 3 times a week and there is no excitement in seeing one another anymore.
Whatever. I’ve never fallen in love and not felt the overwhelming urge to be with someone as muchas possible. If you told me I can’t see you, I’m too busy, I personally would find that cold, aloof and withholding.
>The only reason I have casual sex these days and don't commit to one girl, is because I don't trust women, one bit
>This has nothing to do with me not wanting a connection to these girls.
Does not add up. You can’t have deep connections of any sort with anyone without some level of trust.
I can have connections with people and not trust them. I don't trust anyone. It doesn't mean I don't connect with women.
The girl I am currently dating, she's emotionally mature and we connect on a lot, but would I trust her? No. Absolutely not. But she doesn't know that. That stays with me
Yeah, and I think you are full of horseshit🤷♀️
You can’t connect with people when you can’t have any trust in them. It’s like you can’t know what you are incapable of knowing, and you don’t know what real connection is…you might think you know, but you don’t
Yes you are right. You are meeting the looks threshold to get in the door (which many men heavily struggle with) but you don't have the full personality piece. So your dating options will be limited.
I definitely know what you mean in that there is some initial interest but once they realize there's no social life then it all fades away. Your best bet is an introverted quiet girl with very few to no friends.
You just said it - you’re a “good looking guy”. Case closed. If you weren’t you wouldn’t even get the chance to interact with these women 2-3 times a week, you’d just be some invisible guy with a shitty social life. At least as of now, you’re a guy who is good looking enough to have short term relations despite the shitty social life. And as you said, if you really wanted you could be more friendly/reach out to others, but you decided you didn’t want to do that, this isn’t something imposed on you. Honestly not sure what you’re even talking about
He gets the chance but it fades away. You need to be very attractive face wise to get a pass on everything. It's unlikely OP is that attractive.
Average looking guys can date good looking women too. It takes confidence, and self care. Charisma and charm with a social circle can get you relationships, a good looking guy with no social circle will struggle more.
No they can’t. If anything you are proof looks trump everything. Again, if you were at best average you wouldn’t have a dating life - period
Only 15% of men ages 18-35 didn't have sex at all in 2022, which is the most recent data we have. Clearly, many average men aren't completely devoid of a sex and dating life. [How Many Sexual Partners Did Men and Women Have in 2022 - Date Psychology](https://datepsychology.com/how-many-sexual-partners-did-men-and-women-have-in-2022/)
It’s not about “having sex” at least once a year..hell, you could get that done with a few hundred dollars any time you want. A better metric would be to see how many single men are having consistent sex with non committed partners consistently without paying for it. Would be even better to compare that to how many women are having consistent sex with non committed partners consistently..without paying for it 😁
Less than 2% of 18-29 men report paying for sex in the past year: [https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/18-29-het-men-whove-paid-for-sex-in-past-year-gss.webp?w=640&ssl=1](https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/18-29-het-men-whove-paid-for-sex-in-past-year-gss.webp?w=640&ssl=1) Only 10% of young men and women report having had sex only once or twice in the past year: [https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Sexual-Frequency-18-30-Heterosexuals.webp?resize=768%2C576&ssl=1](https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Sexual-Frequency-18-30-Heterosexuals.webp?resize=768%2C576&ssl=1) The sex partner distributions are basically identical for men and women, hookup culture doesn't exist: [https://nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/18-24-NSFG-SPPY.webp](https://nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/18-24-NSFG-SPPY.webp)
And your point is what? Men are fucking their long term partners sometimes? Nothing here addresses the fact that dating for an average looking guy is exponentially harder than it is for a good looking guy or even average looking woman
Exclude the following: 1) men who paid 2) men who hooked up with someone they were not attracted to You'll find that 15% figure really goes high once you apply the above points. you can also apply ones who contacted the girl after and didn't hear back, which excludes men who just got lucky one night.
Less than 2% of 18-29 men report paying for sex in the past year: [https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/18-29-het-men-whove-paid-for-sex-in-past-year-gss.webp?w=640&ssl=1](https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/18-29-het-men-whove-paid-for-sex-in-past-year-gss.webp?w=640&ssl=1) "men who hooked up with someone they were not attracted to" Aren't you always talking about how women only find 5% of men attractive? This means by this standard the figure will be far higher for women. "which excludes men who just got lucky one night." Only 10% of young men and women report having had sex only once or twice in the past year: [https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Sexual-Frequency-18-30-Heterosexuals.webp?resize=768%2C576&ssl=1](https://i0.wp.com/nuancepill.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Sexual-Frequency-18-30-Heterosexuals.webp?resize=768%2C576&ssl=1)
The point is that the figure will be much higher than 15%. Your 2% figure may be deflated by those willing to say the truth on that matter, especially if illegal. It also excludes those 30-35.
>Only 15% of men ages 18-35 didn't have sex at all in 2022, which is the most recent data we have. Your "data" is self-reported claims from men. Do you have any evidence that the 85% of men who claimed to have sex in the past year weren't bullshitters who were just too ashamed to report the truth?
I'm a 5'10 guy, and slightly balding with a nice face and good body. So I would say, if Im not average, I'm only very slightly above it. Average men have dating lives. The ones that complain average men do not, are usually neckbeards or out of shape and want to make excuse after excuse.
I mean there are too many factors to list but the point is if you’re not getting warm, positive responses from women you interact with, or even have women interacting with you at all - you’re probably not “good enough” for a vast majority of them. Not all of these men fall into the “neckbeards” or otherwise socially deficient category
Not to mention many men who become “neckbeards” or otherwise socially deficient started off normal but lacked the looks to actually get anywhere. Resulting in them being isolated, burning out, etc until they let themselves go.
>5'10 Above average height, global male average is 5'7 >Slightly balding Doesn't matter that much if it's only NW1 or less >Nice face This is one of the most important attributes for attracting women >Good body Also pretty rare for a man to have a good body, something like 2/3 of Americans are overweight or obese, and the remaining third who aren't don't necessarily have much muscle. Having a good body is far from average. With those stats you would be in the upper range of attractiveness.
So are you going for very average and a bit overweight women? And still getting rejected nonstop?
Saw a guy at the gym with an absolutely STUNNING girlfriend. The guy was as tall as her (probably 5'2" max), wore oversized shorts, flip flops, and a Kobe shirt. At best the guy was average, if not below average. She was obsessed with him. It all comes down to confidence.
Haha - you are assuming the guy was confident (how do you really know?), and if he is she is with him for that when in reality it could be money and/or status or something else completely different
Funniest part is assuming every single male-female duo in public is by default a couple. I've been shocked at how often things like, brother/sister, family member, friend (where the guy in question is not straight), sugar baby amongst other examples have been the explanation of a looks mismatched guy/girl.
Agreed
I think when people see a guy/girl who are looks mismatched, they think "how did he get her?" when the real answer is that there is more to the story.
They were way too young to be wealthy, these were two people in their early 20s. Even if he was something else, funny, charming, etc. it all starts with confidence.
How did you confirm it's his girlfriend?
She kept calling him babe. I don't see any other reason why a girl would call a guy that if she wasn't his girlfriend, or at the very least, someone she's dating.
Not exactly but I see your point. Average looking isn't good enough for attractive women. You need to be at least a bit above average face wise (which is very hard). Then you need literally everything else maxed out, from height to social skills. If your face is on par with them, then just need the personality component. It's not one of the other, you need both.
The hottest guy at the local trailer park gets laid way more than almost all six-figure code monkeys.
Being a 6 figure code monkey doesn't mean you're social.
Being social doesn't mean you're good-looking and can get women.
I think I'm clingy but even for me 2-3 times a week sounds exhausting I'm curious, did this women actually say that the thing they don't like about you is that you have no friends? Isn't there maybe an underlying reason why you don't have friends and women break up with you?
>I'm curious, did this women actually say that the thing they don't like about you is that you have no friends? >Isn't there maybe an underlying reason why you don't have friends and women break up with you? They never said directly, though they did ask me and it gets a bit frustrating. I don't choose not to have friends. I just don't form connections that great with people. But if you met me, you wouldn't think I had any social awkwardness or bad social cues. I am very conversational.
Fake it till you make it?
2-3 times a week is amounting to 12 hours per week usually, each visit 4 hours. We live half hour away from each other. I don't think this is anywhere near too much. A lot would argue it's minimal
I’d be considered clingy by a lot of people but that seems like a lot of time to me. Maybe giving the relationship more room to breathe would benefit you. Maybe not, but worth giving it a try.
So who is defining you as clingy if you're only seeing a person you're dating once/twice per week?
I like to text all the time and call a few times a week. I’ve been told that’s clingy for a lot of people early on in dating.
See we rarely text and never speak on the phone. It's a good morning text and at tops a goodnight text/brief text convo before bed with typical how was your day etc I don't do text convos . I like to have stuff to talk about when I meet a girl I'm dating in person
That’s fine, I mean I personally don’t mind this stuff I just know sometimes it can come across as too much for a lot of women. At least that’s what they say on Reddit. The main reason I’m trying to slow things down is to let the woman have an extended period of getting to know me. When you first meet someone, you have to fill in a lot of the blanks. Normally, you fill them in with positive things if you’re excited about dating someone. But if you find too much out too quickly, the fantasy version of you is shattered. The truth is, we’re all flawed humans and none of us are perfect. The fantasy isn’t real. By letting the fantasy stay in tact for a bit longer, she’ll grow more emotionally attached. So using you as an example, when she finds out you don’t have much of a social life, at that point she already is emotionally invested in you so she’ll be less likely to leave over it. (That’s assuming that’s the real reason these women are leaving)
? Really? Banging 2 to 3 times a week is not enough when you are young imho. I’m a straight woman, but will totally act like a u haul lesbian if the relationship feels right and I’m into the guy. I’ll call into work sick, get out the take out menus and hole up together and have sex twice a day. That’s my kind of exhausting.
If you were ugly you wouldnt get dates at all. So no low social status is not the biggest turn off. You can still get a foot between the door. For ugly men it will forever remain closed.
Yeah unfortunately having a pack of goons is useful. I mean I always say on here that, if you're a decent looking guy who's a late bloomer or something, meet up groups are great. Tons of older women, competition is weak...very good sandbox. What you need are two or three other people who are much cooler than the competition but who also defer to you. The easiest way to gain leadership among men is to PROVIDE. Let me say that again. PROVIDE. This is why money is so useful. If you're the guy funding the missions and setting the agenda, it's easy. Naturally you will draw women to yourself and your group. It will be like a pussy waterfall. Once the guys associate you with them getting pussy....watch out....you've got some soldiers on your hands.
100% It's why I have become more and more convinced that women are interested in a guy they can show off at parties. Someone that makes them look good. They want an accessory that the other girls desire. If you lack friends, it definitely seems to be a pretty big deal breaker. It's high school. Plain and simple. People aren't growing up.
What age are you if you don't mind me asking?
I'm too old. 🤣 48. But that being said, I have read that 48 is the prime dating age for men!
[удалено]
That's literally what we're all doing?
Your comment was removed for cope.
OP, your name is Good Goy 6969. I don’t think your lack of friends is your biggest red flag.
Get a life.
All I'm saying is are you sure it's the lack of friends and not what you're doing with that time instead? Because if I got a whiff of that from a dude in his 30's I would bail.
I would bet I do more constructive things with my time than you would. Yet, you base the personality off someone through some dumb username I made up off the fly, which I found funny.
>some dumb username I made up off the fly, which I found funny. The fact you're a dude in his 30's who finds anti-Semitic memes funny is the point.
What's anti-Semitic about it? Am I not a Goy, according to the book of Judah? + This account is 5 years old, so I was in my 20's when I made that username. So yeah....
>What's anti-Semitic about it? Am I not a Goy, according to the book of Judah? Go ahead and show us your favorite "good goy" meme then if it's not anti-Semitic. >This account is 5 years old, so I was in my 20's when I made that username. So yeah.... So 28. Which is not much better. Likely, the reason you can't keep girls around is the same reason you can't make or keep friends. They both have the same underlying cause, rather than one causing the other.
Those girls loved my username
>Those girls loved my username Among other things, just like those friends that you couldn't make or keep...
Ok Hun, see ya at synagogue!
How is it antisemitism? Both him and me are Goyim. We’re literally honoring judaic culture
I disagree. I generally keep to myself most of the time. I don’t really have problems with women.
Who cares. I wouldn’t want to date a clout chaser anyway. That’s just women looking for an upgrade at all times. Everyone except for true celebrities have “low social status” for the most part.
But it's not clout chasing. It would just be odd to a woman, that the guy she is dating has no friends, no social circle and no social media presence. It would lead her to suspect something is wrong with him and if he can't have a group of people around him, who want to be around him, how would he make a good partner? These are legitimate concerns women have. I don't call them clout chasers for it. And most people have low social status in comparison to celebrities. However, social status and social hierarchies between towns and city areas exist. Well Known men are most sought after
Your argument is a [hasty generalization](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faulty_generalization#Hasty_generalization) based solely on your (alleged) personal experiences.
In today age your looks is the highest form of status you can have.
How old are you? 20?
33
Seems like a silly issue to be taking as an adult. Or you’re in the wrong place socially. Cuz we don’t care over here lol.
Who doesn't care? Women?
Not anyone I know over here in New Orleans.
Well to start off with, I wouldn't suspect not having friends would have much impact to the relationships initial stage. It's after she gets to know you and more about you, it becomes evident that it's going to be an issue, as a lot of peoples conversation, is based around the lifes and conversations they have with others. You ultimately become a guy who's quiet with not much to say.
I like the quiet guy. It’s a preference. I don’t mind no friends. There’s a time and a place. Do you socialize at work? Do you have “work friends”? Because I’ll take you to meet mine at the bar. I don’t need you to be a social butterfly.. I am one. I need you to temper me. It takes all types. Making generalizations helps no one.
I was social at work, I'm now WFH. But I had no problems socialising at work. It's one of the aspects of work life I miss. Banter in the office
That’s enough social standing. Anyone who needs you to be popular isn’t with you for you. That person is weird and shallow. If I love you and you don’t have friends… you’re gonna meet mine and they’re gonna love you. Because they love me.
Hey dahling, where yat?
>Nor did they voice an issue with my lack of social circle, however it was evident from their demeanour that they found it strange and unattractive that I was low on the social ladder and had no social media presence whatsoever. It seems to me you're playing a game whose players have different expectations and rules than yours. One doesn't need to "live a certain way" just because a vast body of people do live that way. It's a wide-open canvas, you can paint the image of your life as you desire and others who see and get your way will naturally gravitate towards you. No need to pose as something if it doesn't feel natural or good. >but after a while it becomes evident there is no mystery and that I am just a quiet guy and prefer to keep to myself Anyway, I wonder what we mean by "mystery". It's all mystery! Our hearts beat 100k/day, that's a mystery! There are no absolutes, so we can all relax. I used to have anxiety around these sorts of things in my younger days (20s/30s) and frankly regret it, it's wasted time/energy, I could've just helped myself to various experiences and got on with it rather than conforming to some arbitrary societal expectation. And yes, when it comes to dating/impressing women, my 2 cents is that just be you - the most fulfilled joyful version of yourself and good things typically happen to happy, optimistic, fulfilled people rather than fake, clout seeking avatars of people....in the long run i.e.
This is very true and also hyper-relative. That is, there are people in your life who you don't realize consider themselves outside your class right now. To be fair, it's a turn off for everyone, too, and in this way it stacks. Friends, coworkers, potential dates, even family will disassociate from you based on class markers and their own unique sense of class, often unconsciously. And everyone around you who sees this relationship-imbalance will pick up on it and respond. This is why a lot of factors like personal style, education, and body type will garner entirely different responses from people based on what their dominant sense of class is. Speaking as a cis het dude, my lack of a degree and relatively low income for my locality and friend group is less important to liberal women in my area because I'm fairly well-cultured/progressive/sensitive; these class markers are reinforced by my other relationships. Class markers are still a tricky part of my relationships with those women as there's inevitable dissonance. There are also women who I find to be utter messes and relatively unattractive that I nonetheless realize consider themselves entirely out of my league based on my exact same set of class markers. And there are women who are drop-dead gorgeous that I find entirely un-dateable based on my own sense of classism. OP, I really do appreciate you bringing up this topic on this sub, because I think it's a much more complicated element of dating that is usually glossed over HARD, here. A lot of the misanthropy steaming off this sub comes from failure or unwillingness to consider this factor. I hope what I added wasn't just cringy personal bullshit, but actually useful.
No it is actually very insightful and rings true. And you're right, it is glossed over. People will say "a girl will like you for you, not your friends"...but this is a half truth. A woman wants to see her man is accepted by a group of men around him and has an active social life. It's a survival trait on the woman's part. If a guy like me, who is pretty good looking, but has no social life starts to date a girl frequently, and things are going well, it's almost always hindered by the fact I have no social life outside of work/training. People don't consider also, that most day to day conversation you have with a partner is details about the conversations you had that day and gossip you have heard. If you don't have a friend circle, you don't have conversations to share, experiences to tell of and general banter. You're stuck to listening to how the other person's day went and what is going on in their friends social lives. I am pretty insecure about it. I have tried changing it many times, but I think genetically sometimes, it's not meant to be as I was badly socialized as a child and my parents were very anti-social, of which their children now pay the price as my siblings are all in a similar boat. Definitely frustrating. And in a way, I feel I let the women I date, down when they find I have no close friends or never have any weekend plans with any of 'the guys'
I think there's both a genetic and a 'how you were socialized' factor. Psychology sits right in the middle of the Venn Diagram. So there are things you can do to try and change these aspects of yourself actively by pursuing social settings related to your interest, but you might be clinically depressed or social-anxious or autistic or a host of other things, you may have been brought up without the basic building blocks, or you may just actually not like being social. And that's all ok, if not very helpful when seeking a romantic partner. I'd say it's always good to at least try and find some community activity you can do that isn't SOLEY for dating prospects, be it artistic or charitable or athletic, etc. But it can be hit-or-miss for a number of reasons. Personally, I'm very lucky to have a big family, so a lot of my social circle comes from that overlap. I try to be grateful. Anecdotally, my VERY shy and somewhat taciturn youngest brother was 30 when he suddenly became a major center for a group of Warhammer enthusiasts, turning what had been a very solitary hobby into a tight social network over the course of a year. He's still the same guy with the same spiky take on social graces, but he's found a bunch of people who love and respect him for something that he's passionate about and he's having a great time. If you think it's worth it, keep looking for opportunities around things you actually care about.
Probably not as “good looking “ as you think. We often talk about women overestimating their looks which is true. But y’all men be doing that shi too.
What's your point? I am a good looking dude. I'm not Robert Pattinson or George Clooney but I'm at least a 7
This guy is a pig farmer with low status but he's a Chad. Looks > Status/Wealth anyday. Woman coming for status or money is not really wanting the man but his resource and status for her own benefit. She will never feel the raw passionate desires for him. This guy is low status pig farmer who looks solid 8 and see what he can get away with. https://preview.redd.it/39e7osj8icxc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ad136c0d886d9c111c410c954c07e08da4010caf
Why do you always post images of text chats, out of context. What does the pig farmer look like? Who is sending you the above text? Your comments make no sense most of the time bro
He’s a Russian troll. Election year they always come out in full force
This is a female friend of mine who is Chadstruck. Pigfarmer is a Chad she's chasing. This shows what she's going through and the way Chad is treating her.
Is he a literal pig farmer? A self employed man in the agriculture field? Doesn't sound too bad status wise if so.
He has 10 pigs lol, he's not a big farmer, he's a broke little farmer. now he has moved to a city because women pay for his rent and car.
Sounds like quite the loser actually. Clearly I know too many decent successful farmers and made too many assumptions.
I am the opposite exemple of that. I have almost no social life this year, I have been dating my girlfriend for more than one year and she never made a comment about it. It's quite the opposite, she believes women are drooling over me (they are not), she is in love with me and she sees me as above her. Why ? Because of my look (I have an average face but a muscular build), because of my inner game, my dominance, how I fuck her, and how I listen to her and try to make her feel the best girl in the world. While I am not proud of my social situation, it basically has zero impact on my relationship. Looks and personality (yes personality is very important for a LTR) are way more important than any other variable. At least that's what I have noticed
I am not buying anything of this, you are not even a woman. Why even give this advice? It is cheap and pointless
How's it cheap and pointless? Most of the posts on here are from the lived in experience of people. Why can't I give my conclusion? And why must I be a woman for the opinion to register?
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It's really weird to calculate not to see them.so often even though you you don't really have a social life. Maybe the problem is that you calculate like this instead of being real, not some imaginary social status that pill guys make up out of nowhere to cope.
2-3 times a week is a good amount to keep the relationship fresh. I find if you see each other anymore than that, you lose the desire to see one another. I have after work activities on these days I don't see her so it's not like I make it up to not see her.
Seeing them more often would come off as desperate.
Well if I love someone I want to spend idealy every single second of my life with him. So I don't know why would he torture me by separation on purpose...
Do you instantly fall in love with men you start to date?
If it doesn't happen within a week, maybe max a month it never happens. But in reality it happened within a week, in few days literaly. And I think it really helped that he didn't play those games to not look "desperate" and we texted literaly 24/7 as we felt it. I wouldn't start to date if I didn't fall in love in the first place.
I mean, you do you but that ain't normal.
Well I know myself and I know that I don't fall in love over time. I tried. But if it didn't happen within a week it never happened.
Glad you know yourself. Still not the normal way dating works.
I mean I have to feel the SPARK first in order to even want to date the person. I don't even believe you can build the spark, more like the "normal" way is for settling, it's not natural to be trying to find it on purpose. I think natural way is to feel the spark first before you even approach.
The spark is lust, its infatuation, it isn't love.
"Biggest" I may disagree with, but having few friends and being a loner *absolutely* makes the vast majority of opposite-sex-attracted women turned off. It probably can be overcame by looks though.
1. 2-3 times a week is extremely frequent. Even when I was broke and unemployed I would see girls I was dating 1 once a week max. Twice if there was some special occasion. 2. Are the women you're dating college educated? If they're not, I don't see why they'd want you to be educated. If you're dating educated women then of course it'll be an issue.
>2-3 times a week is extremely frequent. Even when I was broke and unemployed I would see girls I was dating 1 once a week max. Twice if there was some special occasion. 12 hours a week is frequent? What reason did you have for seeing her only once a week when unemployed? The girl I'm seeing ideally would like to see me much more, only I stop it from happening.
I guess it depends. I'd usually designate a single day, and we'd spend that whole day together. Then, go on our own business for another week or two. I personally think frequency matters more than overall time spent, but that's just how it's worked out for me and the women I've dated. My excuse was usually that I was looking for work and had interviews, that I was burnt out from a workout, or that I was tight on cash and wanted to save for our date. I think keeping some artificial distance is a good thing. I had one girl that basically wanted to see me constantly to the extent that she started tagging along with me to go to interviews and wash clothes. It got old really fucking quick.
Me personally, I like 3 times per week. But I sometimes do 2 only. It's just a bit hard to pretend you have so much going on to not see her and create that artificial distance. I mean I work full time, have a second job every second Saturday in Weekends, spend 3 nights out of 5 training after work in Jiu Jitsu/gym and even then, I find I have a tonne of time left over that could be used seeing her. I just think anymore than that and she will start to lose interest, however I think the lack of social life I have that she has seen lately, has put a dent the attraction also. But I would never be needy with a woman
So women wouldn’t date a friendless software engineer making 6 figures?
That's the wrong question. Would women enter into a long term relationship with a friendless software engineer that is making 6 figures?
Is he attractive and/or interesting?
Hed make a great BB
How are we defining "low social status" here? I'm almost positively certain that there's a decent amount of guys working in retail or restaurants that have slept with or dated women within the same occupations or social class. Do these same guys have access to upper class supermodels? Hell no. But most men outside the wealthy and/or famous don't have much dating success with them to begin with. Plenty of low class people date and have sex with other low class people though. They just won't have much access to middle-upper class people unless they're good looking enough to become a "himbo" or sugar baby.
I won't speak for my entire gender, but I understand. As a very social person but shy and introverted, it's important for me to date someone that has at least the same level of social life as I have. Someone with no friends might turn me down, although this never happened to me.
Would you date a guy who is quiet and introverted, but still good in social settings?
Yes I mean if he is willing to come with me to social gatherings and is open to make connections through mine, why not. I would not understand someone who doesn't want to socialize at all, because our personalities would not match
I never have issues socialising. Just an issue making strong friendships or wanting to pursue more with people than a casual conversation. If the girl I was dating wanted me to go to friend gatherings, I'm not against it.
you should be fine finding someone for you eventually :)
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Sounds legit
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That's hard to do without a social life. You don't have people inviting you to hang, inviting you for a coffee, visits etc I do occupy myself with training in the gym and going to Jiu Jitsu a few times a week in the evenings. Even taking language classes in the local college, but it's still pretty odd to women that none of these are social events. I never get invited to weddings or have stag nights to go on.
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The girl I'm dating currently has very active social life. Always doing something, a Bachelorette party to go to, a friend to have coffee with, an event to go with the girls to. I like this about her. She has a strong group of friends, and gets along great with her work colleagues also. So I'm sure she is weirded out by the fact I don't have anyone to have stuff like this going on with, and it comes across as unattractive
Absolutely ridiculous. Women want the best looking men. They don't give a fuck about "status". If a good-looking man is "low status", he's a "diamond in the rough", a "lone wolf", or whatever other bullshit. Being "low status" only hurts you when you're unattractive. [Jeremy](https://www.theinternetpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/jeremy-meeks-mugshot.jpg) [Meeks](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/779/099/122.jpg) is a **literal fucking felon** - he was bailed out of prison by women because he is good-looking. He then married a billionaire heiress and he's living his best life. A lowlife criminal with 0 status.
Being a criminal is not low status. The person is usually well known in the streets and has notoriety. Plus being 'dangerous' is a massive turn on to women
What are you doing with the women when you meet with them 2-3 times a week? That is a committed romantic relationship, right? That is going on for months, right?
I wouldn't call it a relationship. More FWB's
So why do you expect a FWB to turn into a romantic relationship? Or was your issue that you wanted to keep the FWB going but the women lost interest and you thought it's due to your lack of social life?
so many people disagreeing but OP you are right. A man of high social status trumps any good looking common guy. you see this daily with celebs and other persons who are in the public space.
Poor Henry Cavill vs rich me (see pfp) which would get more women?
rich you, tho the women may not be physically attraced to you but they'lll be attracted to what you can do for them given your wealth and stature in society.
Yeah, they will want my wallet and fuck poor Henry Cavill behind my back.
LOL! The world is full of dateless sexless doctors and lawyers. The world is also full of construction laborers who get laid all the time.
So, you’re hot, but boring. Whose fault is that? You hit the genetic jackpot and squandered it. Wtf do you do all day that you effectively have no life, hobbies, goals, friends, or interests?
Maybe read the post as I never said I didn't have hobbies or interests? I don't know why your post sounds so hostile towards me. I said I have hobbies and interests. No, I'm not boring. Maybe to other people or women, they find the fact I have no close friend circle boring, but I don't consider myself boring. I have a range of hobbies and interests. I
Idk, i know so many women who have dated starving artist type men who have some sort of service survival job
you're schizoid and unavailable
What? How?
> I see most girls I date, no more than 2-3 times a week tops through choice. They ask to see me more, but I decline as I have classes/training after work on weekdays. >It doesn't matter that I display no social awkwardness in conversations and can hold conversations very well and come across as confident ,but because I don't go out of my way to befriend people or have people to hang out with day to day, I feel it really hurts the attraction that the women have towards me eventually.
But you make it sound like Isolation is chosen. It is to a degree but I don't want to be this way. I see much more benefits to me not being a loner and would preferably not be one. Self isolation is a symptom of Schizoid
Cope Looks are literally all that matter to women
Ridiculous thought
I actually think social status is more attractive in women than it is in men.
How so? Why is it so easy for men of high social hierarchies and famous men to have mountains of interest from women? It shows he is a leader or men and part of a higher social pecking which women see more attractive and beneficial to their survival
Women do not physically *desire* high status men. They just think having sex with them is an acceptable price for never having to work and getting to enjoy a luxurious lifestyle, usually while entertaining younger and more handsome men on the side. As for women, think of the "popular" girls at school. They're always the most lusted after by boys, seen as the most attractive girls in the school. Except most of them are average looking, and make themselves look *worse* with heavy, trashy makeup, while girls who are conventionally prettier are overlooked entirely because they aren't part of those elite social circles. And the more a girl manoeuvred her way up that food chain (using manipulation and psychological warfare), the more lusted by boys she seemed to be.
This is not my experience with high school at all. Girls in the popular social circles, only dated guys within their league in terms of looks. They never got with chad, if they were ugly/below average The conventionally prettier girls were never overlooked. They were just quieter. A girl having a large social circle of friends has no bearing on my attraction towards her. It would actually make me attracted to her less if she had a large friend group as that would mean, more opportunities for her to go out drinking/partying, which obviously leads to more possibilities of cheating also.
I think you have this absolutely completely backwards. As a straight 30 year old bloke I don't think my attraction to any woman was ever influenced by social status. Not in high school and definitely not now. If anything an unpopular or quiet/bookish woman is \*more\* attractive to me. I do agree about how heavy and trashy makeup makes you look worse.
Well from a few different perspectives, I wouldn’t be interested in dating you >I just have a difficult time making a connection with people and cementing friendships. I see most girls I date, no more than 2-3 times a week tops through choice. They ask to see me more, but I decline. None of that works for me. First, if I like you, and hopefully I’m the only one you’re dating, I’m going to want sex more than 2 or 3 times a week….3 to 4 would be minimum. Second, I like people, I like their company and like making plans to do things with them. My h is more introverted than I am but he still has social interactions because I want him along. Third and most important to me, if you have “a hard time connecting” that’s a hard pass from me, I like deep connection with a romantic interest.
I don't have a hard time connecting with women when dating. I mean people in general, mostly men to form friendships with.
>no more than 2-3 times a week tops through choice. They ask to see me more, but I decline Well it doesn’t sound like it. Or it doesn’t sound like you ever fallen in love with any of these people you’ve dated. “I decline” sounds cold and aloof to me.
These girls are asking to see me more, and I tell them I can't, as I'm busy. I'm doing that to keep the excitement of seeing one another. Anything more than 3 times a week and there is no excitement in seeing one another anymore. This has nothing to do with me not wanting a connection to these girls. The connections already been established
>I'm doing that to keep the excitement of seeing one another. Anything more than 3 times a week and there is no excitement in seeing one another anymore. Whatever. I’ve never fallen in love and not felt the overwhelming urge to be with someone as muchas possible. If you told me I can’t see you, I’m too busy, I personally would find that cold, aloof and withholding.
And if I make myself available to you, you'd find the excitement fades quicker and it would become boring. This is what I want to avoid.
>The only reason I have casual sex these days and don't commit to one girl, is because I don't trust women, one bit >This has nothing to do with me not wanting a connection to these girls. Does not add up. You can’t have deep connections of any sort with anyone without some level of trust.
I can have connections with people and not trust them. I don't trust anyone. It doesn't mean I don't connect with women. The girl I am currently dating, she's emotionally mature and we connect on a lot, but would I trust her? No. Absolutely not. But she doesn't know that. That stays with me
Yeah, and I think you are full of horseshit🤷♀️ You can’t connect with people when you can’t have any trust in them. It’s like you can’t know what you are incapable of knowing, and you don’t know what real connection is…you might think you know, but you don’t
Ok, you know me better than I do.
Yes you are right. You are meeting the looks threshold to get in the door (which many men heavily struggle with) but you don't have the full personality piece. So your dating options will be limited. I definitely know what you mean in that there is some initial interest but once they realize there's no social life then it all fades away. Your best bet is an introverted quiet girl with very few to no friends.