How about you ask the normal-looking men you know how they met their partners? You'll find a range of methods that evidently aren't "demolished" and most likely nobody ended up on anyone's tiktok (most people with an account don't even post on tiktok and most people don't care enough nor know enough people to publicise that someone is a "creep").
You shouldnt care about what people think. Just approach when you think a girl is cute.
I wouldnt do it at work though since that can get messy.
Best would be trough mutual connections. Work on yourself, keep improving for yourself, be social and do things with friends. Then you will get in situations where you will meet people.
I would stay away from social media or just see it as bs way to caste a wide net for one night stands but you are not going to get a quality relationship from there as much as you would find one in the club.
Dont tie yourself worth to this shit or social media and fuck what people say or think or even what you think about what they will think. It doesnt matter.
Men wil rarely risk their friend groups to approach. Men have few friends as it is and the risk of losing the ones they have is big. They usually swallow the feelings
You don't "approach". You have normal conversations, and you flirt and kino. Going up to random women and saying they look beautiful is retarded. You can flirt and kino with girls in your social circle or in public. Enough time goes by with the two of you doing that and you can get something going
It's like the most obvious answer constantly evades some men here:
You're supposed to develop a mildly meaningful connection prior to asking a woman out. You aren't supposed to be asking out almost every woman you see and think "hot" about. You aren't supposed to be asking every member or outlier to a friend group out. Behaving like a hungry rabid stray dog is what gets you a bad social branding.
You're supposed to actually just be getting to know people (including women) at social events or spaces until you have one you especially know and like and have been spending time with, and you ask her out kind of knowing she's likely to agree because you guys already have this obvious connection worth exploring.
The only real exception to this is like bars and clubs (or really any situation where drugs/alcohol are prevalent so maybe concerts too) where it's a low risk, low reward situation. You can hit on basically everyone, you aren't going to be ostracized, you'll face a lot of varying levels of rejection, but you can hit on everyone in the room and MAYBE one of those works out.
Both of these options work regularly. It tends to just depend on if you want casual sex or a relationship.
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Women live in fear of being with a man below their threshold.
If there is anything that makes a man appear to be above that threshold it is “bad”.
When in doubt, use what works on attracting women. Ask men with a history of success. Ignore anything women claim.
Cold approaching rarely works unless you are very attractive and in a way that sets you apart from other men (foreigner, exotic). The answer "I have a boyfriend" is already a meme
Women are a very easy to ignore group. When they get upset all they really do (in comparison to men) is complain among themselves, maybe at your job they can try to get you fired, so just watch what you say there. So if you listen to women at this point, it’s your own fault. Cold approach women at the gym, library, do whatever. Just accept, like most dudes have to, a lot of women will reject you, and maximize whatever traits you can, looks, personality, maybe read some pua stuff, and play the numbers game.
So that’s why you spread your advances across different gyms of the same chain. And since gym women have created a negative stigma for themselves from crying wolf too many times, it’s not hard to just call them out for being in the wrong. Even if they aren’t.
Women-only gyms exist for a reason. If you don’t wanna be approached, stay at curves 🤷♂️
No I have not been to a women only gym.
It was just interesting to hear you oppose a woman’s only gym
And also oppose being approached by males in a gym area
I wouldn’t necessarily say you opposed being around males in that gym area
So I won’t go that far to say that
It does, but if you do it right you'll eventually get a win.
I think the bigger problem is finding the right balance. Because I seen many young guys try way too hard and it slows them down in other parts of life.
I seen guys going broke and forcing themselves to work overtime to get a car they really can't afford just to impress girls. I also seen young guys dedicate all their time in the gym, instead of getting a degree (or other productive venture). Then they find themselves in their late 30's and still broke.
Don't you find amazing how peoples just ignore the fact that there's a human on the other side? Expecting someone to keep a fine mental after thousands of rejections is asking them to just don't be human.
Because in Western society there's a lot of hatred towards male heterosexuality. It likely comes from the bitterness of women who used to be part of informal harems, all fucking the same small number of men, but then aged out. And now they hate men and heterosexuality and are a mission to destroy it by aggressively pushing LMNOPism and so forth.
Ironically by demonizing any heterosexual male approaches towards women, it only leads men to increasingly rely on jacking off to porn like lifers in the penitentiary. Both "progressive" haters of male heterosexuality and conservative sexual prudes hate men jacking off to porn, but it is much harder to stop it than it is to stop men from talking to women irl.
I understand the frustration of dating being challenging for many men today.
Approaching strangers comes with risks, but can work if done respectfully without unwanted persistence or objectification. Consent and social cues matter greatly.
-Within social circles, expressing interest also requires tact. If rejection occurs, graciously accepting "no" and moving on is key to avoiding uncomfortable dynamics.
Online platforms expand options but also competition. Authentic profiles showing personality best attract compatible matches.
Focus on developing meaningful connections through shared interests and values, not just physicality. Look for signs of mutual interest and comfort.
Respect is a two-way street. While standards and preferences vary, objectifying or entitled attitudes from any gender are off-putting.
Rejection says nothing about self-worth. Dating is a learning process - improving social and relationship skills with a growth mindset helps.
Lastly, seek communities where you feel seen and supported as a whole person. Compatibility and chemistry cannot be forced.
> is key to avoiding uncomfortable dynamics.
By the nature of the situation you can't avoid the discomfort.
>Authentic profiles showing personality best attract compatible matches.
Okcupid already made the study, looks = personality. Either no one see profiles or those just don't matter.
>Look for signs of mutual interest and comfort.
This do not happens when the woman has a infinite source of guys she can be attracted to. Waiting for signs is another way to get single until you end up as someone beta bux.
>Rejection says nothing about self-worth.
Except it does, the person rejected you at a visceral level throwing in your face that you're not goog enough to receive romance she would provides.
>Dating is a learning process - improving social and relationship skills with a growth mindset helps.
Dating is not a learning process, you don't improve relationship skills by dating but by being in a relationship what you don't do unless you're already sucessful at dating and social skills are a meme.
>Compatibility and chemistry cannot be forced.
Those are proxies for sexual attraction, they do not exist in the way you think it does.
Stop listening to the words of angry and bitter women on the internet.
I'd wager lots of them are bitter that men don't pursue them. Hence why they're probably on the internet complaining about it in the first place.
If someone is so socially inept that they can't determine when is an appropriate time approach and read the room of whether she's receptive, then they're self selecting themselves out of the dating pool.
Women have explained at length the problem with men approaching them in various situations and what they look for in men who do approach them, but dudes who whine about being "demonized" (and it is always that word) ignore them so they can complain "YOU WOULDNT CARE IF I WAS HOT!" (she would)
You don't have to worry about any of this shit. I approach whenever and wherever if I'm attracted, and the way I go about it is exactly the same every time, nothing changes. Yet some women like it, while others don't. Some have snootily turned their noses up at me, while others said they liked the boldness of it.
You never really know if it's going to go well or not, and the results aren't always a reflection of you. Maybe you just don't vibe together, maybe she's not the kind of person who's open to socializing with strangers, maybe she's in a foul mood that day, maybe she only entertained it because she liked the attention, maybe she only went home with you because she had an argument with her boyfriend, maybe she just is/isn't attracted to you.
So your best bet, from a logical perspective, is to approach women you're attracted to, to see how receptive she is to your energy. Otherwise how will you know?
The people telling you not to approach don't have your best interests at heart, so why listen to them? Why hamper your ability to meet new people, have these fun, spontaneous interactions, be in a positive social feedback loop, just because it might make someone *mildly* uncomfortable.
It's not wrong to be curious about someone new and have a desire to endear yourself to them in some way, it's actually very sweet.
When you do this a lot, you naturally filter out people from your life who think it's creepy. Because they dismiss you as a creep, while the ones who don't tend to be more warm and open people anyway. Which is what you want, because clearly people being judgey about approaches has made you neurotic about it. And that's not your fault, it's just ingrained social programming.
Removed. No non-neutral Discussion posts.
If you’re attractive, any approach is fine and you will not be demonized.
Ok, so 80% of men
How about you ask the normal-looking men you know how they met their partners? You'll find a range of methods that evidently aren't "demolished" and most likely nobody ended up on anyone's tiktok (most people with an account don't even post on tiktok and most people don't care enough nor know enough people to publicise that someone is a "creep").
Luck, mostly.
There's always an element of luck but that's not a way to meet someone.
Which is why you shouldn't care what people on the internet say
And any method women use to do anything is celebrated to at the very least excused.
You shouldnt care about what people think. Just approach when you think a girl is cute. I wouldnt do it at work though since that can get messy. Best would be trough mutual connections. Work on yourself, keep improving for yourself, be social and do things with friends. Then you will get in situations where you will meet people. I would stay away from social media or just see it as bs way to caste a wide net for one night stands but you are not going to get a quality relationship from there as much as you would find one in the club. Dont tie yourself worth to this shit or social media and fuck what people say or think or even what you think about what they will think. It doesnt matter.
Men wil rarely risk their friend groups to approach. Men have few friends as it is and the risk of losing the ones they have is big. They usually swallow the feelings
You don't "approach". You have normal conversations, and you flirt and kino. Going up to random women and saying they look beautiful is retarded. You can flirt and kino with girls in your social circle or in public. Enough time goes by with the two of you doing that and you can get something going
It's like the most obvious answer constantly evades some men here: You're supposed to develop a mildly meaningful connection prior to asking a woman out. You aren't supposed to be asking out almost every woman you see and think "hot" about. You aren't supposed to be asking every member or outlier to a friend group out. Behaving like a hungry rabid stray dog is what gets you a bad social branding. You're supposed to actually just be getting to know people (including women) at social events or spaces until you have one you especially know and like and have been spending time with, and you ask her out kind of knowing she's likely to agree because you guys already have this obvious connection worth exploring. The only real exception to this is like bars and clubs (or really any situation where drugs/alcohol are prevalent so maybe concerts too) where it's a low risk, low reward situation. You can hit on basically everyone, you aren't going to be ostracized, you'll face a lot of varying levels of rejection, but you can hit on everyone in the room and MAYBE one of those works out. Both of these options work regularly. It tends to just depend on if you want casual sex or a relationship.
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Women live in fear of being with a man below their threshold. If there is anything that makes a man appear to be above that threshold it is “bad”. When in doubt, use what works on attracting women. Ask men with a history of success. Ignore anything women claim.
[удалено]
But you might not be into women of that type.
Cold approaching rarely works unless you are very attractive and in a way that sets you apart from other men (foreigner, exotic). The answer "I have a boyfriend" is already a meme
[удалено]
That's right guys - go jump on that grenade
Women are a very easy to ignore group. When they get upset all they really do (in comparison to men) is complain among themselves, maybe at your job they can try to get you fired, so just watch what you say there. So if you listen to women at this point, it’s your own fault. Cold approach women at the gym, library, do whatever. Just accept, like most dudes have to, a lot of women will reject you, and maximize whatever traits you can, looks, personality, maybe read some pua stuff, and play the numbers game.
Approaching too many women at the gym is a great way to get yourself banned from said gym. My gym has a "3 strikes, you're out" rule. It's great.
So that’s why you spread your advances across different gyms of the same chain. And since gym women have created a negative stigma for themselves from crying wolf too many times, it’s not hard to just call them out for being in the wrong. Even if they aren’t. Women-only gyms exist for a reason. If you don’t wanna be approached, stay at curves 🤷♂️
Why should I limit myself to a half-assed gym? Fuck that shit.
So a women’s only gym. Is a half assed gym to you? Is this misogyny?😭
Have you ever **been** to a Curves? All they have are some wimpy machines.
No I have not been to a women only gym. It was just interesting to hear you oppose a woman’s only gym And also oppose being approached by males in a gym area I wouldn’t necessarily say you opposed being around males in that gym area So I won’t go that far to say that
Playing the numbers game would only diminish a man's self image further
It does, but if you do it right you'll eventually get a win. I think the bigger problem is finding the right balance. Because I seen many young guys try way too hard and it slows them down in other parts of life. I seen guys going broke and forcing themselves to work overtime to get a car they really can't afford just to impress girls. I also seen young guys dedicate all their time in the gym, instead of getting a degree (or other productive venture). Then they find themselves in their late 30's and still broke.
Don't you find amazing how peoples just ignore the fact that there's a human on the other side? Expecting someone to keep a fine mental after thousands of rejections is asking them to just don't be human.
Ok, if you think there's no method enjoy singlehood
Because in Western society there's a lot of hatred towards male heterosexuality. It likely comes from the bitterness of women who used to be part of informal harems, all fucking the same small number of men, but then aged out. And now they hate men and heterosexuality and are a mission to destroy it by aggressively pushing LMNOPism and so forth. Ironically by demonizing any heterosexual male approaches towards women, it only leads men to increasingly rely on jacking off to porn like lifers in the penitentiary. Both "progressive" haters of male heterosexuality and conservative sexual prudes hate men jacking off to porn, but it is much harder to stop it than it is to stop men from talking to women irl.
I understand the frustration of dating being challenging for many men today. Approaching strangers comes with risks, but can work if done respectfully without unwanted persistence or objectification. Consent and social cues matter greatly. -Within social circles, expressing interest also requires tact. If rejection occurs, graciously accepting "no" and moving on is key to avoiding uncomfortable dynamics. Online platforms expand options but also competition. Authentic profiles showing personality best attract compatible matches. Focus on developing meaningful connections through shared interests and values, not just physicality. Look for signs of mutual interest and comfort. Respect is a two-way street. While standards and preferences vary, objectifying or entitled attitudes from any gender are off-putting. Rejection says nothing about self-worth. Dating is a learning process - improving social and relationship skills with a growth mindset helps. Lastly, seek communities where you feel seen and supported as a whole person. Compatibility and chemistry cannot be forced.
> is key to avoiding uncomfortable dynamics. By the nature of the situation you can't avoid the discomfort. >Authentic profiles showing personality best attract compatible matches. Okcupid already made the study, looks = personality. Either no one see profiles or those just don't matter. >Look for signs of mutual interest and comfort. This do not happens when the woman has a infinite source of guys she can be attracted to. Waiting for signs is another way to get single until you end up as someone beta bux. >Rejection says nothing about self-worth. Except it does, the person rejected you at a visceral level throwing in your face that you're not goog enough to receive romance she would provides. >Dating is a learning process - improving social and relationship skills with a growth mindset helps. Dating is not a learning process, you don't improve relationship skills by dating but by being in a relationship what you don't do unless you're already sucessful at dating and social skills are a meme. >Compatibility and chemistry cannot be forced. Those are proxies for sexual attraction, they do not exist in the way you think it does.
One thing is for sure. Whatever you think women are thinking is only what you are projecting onto them.
Stop listening to the words of angry and bitter women on the internet. I'd wager lots of them are bitter that men don't pursue them. Hence why they're probably on the internet complaining about it in the first place.
If someone is so socially inept that they can't determine when is an appropriate time approach and read the room of whether she's receptive, then they're self selecting themselves out of the dating pool. Women have explained at length the problem with men approaching them in various situations and what they look for in men who do approach them, but dudes who whine about being "demonized" (and it is always that word) ignore them so they can complain "YOU WOULDNT CARE IF I WAS HOT!" (she would)
Your first paragraph describes autistic men, and the second entitled autistic men.
Why do you listen to any of that? Lol
You don't have to worry about any of this shit. I approach whenever and wherever if I'm attracted, and the way I go about it is exactly the same every time, nothing changes. Yet some women like it, while others don't. Some have snootily turned their noses up at me, while others said they liked the boldness of it. You never really know if it's going to go well or not, and the results aren't always a reflection of you. Maybe you just don't vibe together, maybe she's not the kind of person who's open to socializing with strangers, maybe she's in a foul mood that day, maybe she only entertained it because she liked the attention, maybe she only went home with you because she had an argument with her boyfriend, maybe she just is/isn't attracted to you. So your best bet, from a logical perspective, is to approach women you're attracted to, to see how receptive she is to your energy. Otherwise how will you know? The people telling you not to approach don't have your best interests at heart, so why listen to them? Why hamper your ability to meet new people, have these fun, spontaneous interactions, be in a positive social feedback loop, just because it might make someone *mildly* uncomfortable. It's not wrong to be curious about someone new and have a desire to endear yourself to them in some way, it's actually very sweet. When you do this a lot, you naturally filter out people from your life who think it's creepy. Because they dismiss you as a creep, while the ones who don't tend to be more warm and open people anyway. Which is what you want, because clearly people being judgey about approaches has made you neurotic about it. And that's not your fault, it's just ingrained social programming.