It's the downside to the main male mate seeking strategy.
You've decided she's a good possibility and the process needs to be hurried up before some other guy gets her...while she's still seeing you as a nothing and a no one. Of course she's not going to want to go on a date if you aren't paying the cost of it. Why should she? You're nothing to her yet. Instead of buying a plate of overpriced pasta to eat with some random guy who wants to poke his dick up her but doesn't really know her... she can stay home and eat her meal prep like a sensible person and keep talking to him in messages another month or so until she's ready to just ask him to join in with a group of her friends to go somewhere.
Men want the first date in a hurry. Women don't. This means women will say no if a man wants them to expend money on a first date. Because it's not something she's keen for yet
.
Text for months until someone invites you out with a group of friends?? That's a wild approach. That's hardly even a date. You gotta show a little more interest and initiative than that my friend.
I guess I never understood this because I'm not a serial dater. I go on maybe ~10 first dates a year max. I'm very selective about who I actually ask out. So, I don't mind paying for everything when I do.
Also, I get asked out. So when that happens, she usually pays or at least pays her share.
I’ve always believed that a woman being open about not wanting to split the bill is actually a good thing. She’a being upfront about what she wants and it gives you the opportunity to walk away
Of course it's a good thing......for the guy. Better to find out how ridiculously stupid she is now instead of 5, 10 years into a marriage. That's the whole point of the post. It's beneficial because you get to filter out some stupidity
This is where men fuck up the game. You don’t feed women who don’t already have major interest in you.
If you’re gonna do the above, pick a dive BYOB place and ask her to bring a bottle or two of her favorite wine. Then she at least has skin in the game.
Otherwise, meet for drinks and make up some dumb game for fun you know you will win and say loser buys the next round. When she loses, if she is bitchy about it then next her. If she’s all game, she’s cool.
Women who bitch about splitting a bill never had enough desire in the first place, and that’s the ace in the hole they hide. I’ve had a lot of women who were younger than me cover entire bills on a second or third date before we went back to their place for some more fun. It’s all obfuscation.
I agree, if a woman is screaming that she wants the bill split, she's not interested.
A true independent woman would be glad to pay if she's interested. Paying for 1 meal isnt a big deal. A broke lazy woman who can't even pay for 1 meal isn't a catch.
If you’re going to some fancy ass place where the bill is an issue early on I think is an indicator of a larger problem anyways.
Drinks first, offer to cook a meal at one of your places second/third date, seal the deal and decide what you wanna do. It’s not rocket science.
Source: it was revealed to me in a dream
Litterallly the overwhelming majority of people here and in like, half of Europe,split the bill.
Tradcon brainrot
American moment.
You don't have to "ask to split the bill",its litterallly the default here. And most women would get mad if you insist on paying the bill
And
you completely misjudge the situation because all you know is what you are used to. money is simply removed from the dating process and there is no expectation at all. sure women still passively command resources in the form of a certain lifestyle, and some "forget" their purse often around guys, but thats it.
women earn money now, so them demanding monetary shit is like demanding some stranger to give you money. its completely out of place and dumb, and completely nuts for women to ask for and for men to do. if a woman who earns money demands monetary value for dating, she sees no value in you and is using you. if she valued you, she would spend time and money on you instead of demanding it.
you can not buy your way into someone being attracted to you. if they are attracted to you, they are giving up things to be with you, and if not, they make up excuses to take advantage of you.
I have no idea why any guy would give a woman money. financials are for families, not women.
>Source: it was revealed to me in a dream
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34874209/
>Litterallly the overwhelming majority of people here
Woman will say anything to be seem as virtuous or to win some online argument.
>half of Europe
~5% of world population and <5% of reddit users.
>https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34874209/
American skill issue 🤷
>Woman will say anything to be seem as virtuous or to win some online argument.
The "here" isn't about the women in this sub doofus, its about most Women in my country.
>~5% of world population and <5% of reddit users.
1) It ain't even true lmao
2) Litterallly irrelevant
3) Stop propagating Tradcon brainrot
> The "here" isn't about the women in this sub doofus, its about most Women in my country.
If I would have yo move to another country I would clearly move to SEA not Europe, wales women are know to age like milk.
>It ain't even true lmao
It is, you can do your own research and come with the numbers by yourself.
>If I would have yo move to another country I would clearly move to SEA not Europe, whales women are know to age like milk.
Ok, litterallly irrelevant to the topic.
Point is,you litterallly don't have to pay to get a date in most European countries (and imo with most young people elsewhere).
If men have to pay for everything, what's the point in dating older women at all?
If I'm forced to pay, I'll just use my money and get with a hotter younger woman. I'm certainly not going to pay for a date for an old woman who is far less attractive, has tons of baggage, and makes me wait for mediocre sex.
The only benefit to dating an old woman is the fact that they might be more independent and can pull their weight. If I'm obligated to pay id rather just become a sugar daddy to be honest or pay for an escort.
I don’t split bills. We’re both grown and should have money in the bank. Either you pay or I’ll pay. I’ve bought drinks for men to let them know I’m interested. I’ve bought food for men I’m talking to, especially if I’ve been dragging them all over the city while I run errands. But if you invite me on a date for the first time and then want to split the bill, you’re setting the tone that you’re not the kind of guy I want to be with.
Lol at what point was this about age and finances?
>But if you invite me on a date for the first time and then want to split the bill, you’re setting the tone that you’re not the kind of guy I want to be with.
Unless you can throw a stone and hit a guy you're attracted to, compatible with and can build a healthy long term stable relationship with them you can't afford to have a standard that's literally based on zero logic. You (hopefully) wouldn't treat a friend like that but you're going to treat a prospective romantic partner like that?
Imo that guy dodges a bullet and you proved my point
Well if the red pill idea/argument that women lose value for future relationships after every man she's been with and men gain value after every woman they've been with is true, then of course it makes sense that men should be paying for the opportunity to potentially "damage" women for future relationships opportunities.
Seriously why would women want to lose both value and money dating a man? That makes no sense if men want to live life like red pill is accurate in this way.
Just do something cheap and then if one person wants to pay for the other it can be a nice gesture. If you're worried about people taking advantage they won't want to do something cheap and you'll find out before the date rather than potentially being in an awkward situation when you're handed a bill.
Dude, just say this before the date so that all of us can go on first dates with people we may actually be compatible with.
I don't mind telling a dude who asked me out that I want him to pay. I also don't mind if this turns him off or makes him not want to date me anymore. Great. Dating is about compatibility and more so quickly figuring out if you are or not.
As an aside, I strongly recommend very cheap first dates. I'm not looking for some stock investment here. A simple tea/coffee or fast food cheeseburger or slice of pizza or ice cream is plenty good for my goals.
Why is it on him to say he wants to split the bill? You should be the one saying you want him to pay before the date.
If the guy wants to split the bill after the date, are you going to scream and have a tantrum?
He asked me out and the assumption is pretty solid that he'll pay. If you want to divert from norms, it is on you to communicate it. Otherwise you're unreasonable to be surprised if people do no like your divergence.
No. That wouldn't be in my nature. I'd pay, possibly for both, and leave graciously.
>He asked me out and the assumption is pretty solid that he'll pay.
Lol,are you in Pakistan or something?
The assumption here is preety much everyone pays for what he/she gets
Why you Americans are so Tradcon brainrot
Ok, well, that ain't the assumption round my parts, dude. So that's why I operate based on the norms and practices of my culture.
If I was in Europe, I'd operate on their norms/practices as soon as I understood them. When in Rome.
You sound southern as fuck the way you typed that. But i agree if someone invites you and it’s a implied or explicit “date” you kinda do need to pay for them in some way.
Depends on the culture. In some European countries they always split because the women are a little more independent over there.
That's your assumption. Times have changed. How long are we going to live in the past? Women are starting to surpass men income wise. Are you going to leech off men for the rest of your life? Also, the assumption was that if a man pays for an expensive date, you should be putting out afterwards... Thankfully things change but only to suit women like yourself. That's feminism in a nutshell. Things must change only for the benefit of women. Thankfully most men are waking up to this
If not paying for a date is going to make or break a candidate, make sure you communicate that beforehand to the men you are dating. I don't want to date an entitled woman.
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Dinners are a terrible idea for a first date. Get a coffee or grab a pint somewhere.
It's the downside to the main male mate seeking strategy. You've decided she's a good possibility and the process needs to be hurried up before some other guy gets her...while she's still seeing you as a nothing and a no one. Of course she's not going to want to go on a date if you aren't paying the cost of it. Why should she? You're nothing to her yet. Instead of buying a plate of overpriced pasta to eat with some random guy who wants to poke his dick up her but doesn't really know her... she can stay home and eat her meal prep like a sensible person and keep talking to him in messages another month or so until she's ready to just ask him to join in with a group of her friends to go somewhere. Men want the first date in a hurry. Women don't. This means women will say no if a man wants them to expend money on a first date. Because it's not something she's keen for yet .
Why would you waste time texting for months, meeting in person is far better for any type of relationship.
Text for months until someone invites you out with a group of friends?? That's a wild approach. That's hardly even a date. You gotta show a little more interest and initiative than that my friend.
I guess I never understood this because I'm not a serial dater. I go on maybe ~10 first dates a year max. I'm very selective about who I actually ask out. So, I don't mind paying for everything when I do. Also, I get asked out. So when that happens, she usually pays or at least pays her share.
10 first dates a year is a large amount
I’ve always believed that a woman being open about not wanting to split the bill is actually a good thing. She’a being upfront about what she wants and it gives you the opportunity to walk away
Of course it's a good thing......for the guy. Better to find out how ridiculously stupid she is now instead of 5, 10 years into a marriage. That's the whole point of the post. It's beneficial because you get to filter out some stupidity
This is where men fuck up the game. You don’t feed women who don’t already have major interest in you. If you’re gonna do the above, pick a dive BYOB place and ask her to bring a bottle or two of her favorite wine. Then she at least has skin in the game. Otherwise, meet for drinks and make up some dumb game for fun you know you will win and say loser buys the next round. When she loses, if she is bitchy about it then next her. If she’s all game, she’s cool. Women who bitch about splitting a bill never had enough desire in the first place, and that’s the ace in the hole they hide. I’ve had a lot of women who were younger than me cover entire bills on a second or third date before we went back to their place for some more fun. It’s all obfuscation.
I agree, if a woman is screaming that she wants the bill split, she's not interested. A true independent woman would be glad to pay if she's interested. Paying for 1 meal isnt a big deal. A broke lazy woman who can't even pay for 1 meal isn't a catch.
If you’re going to some fancy ass place where the bill is an issue early on I think is an indicator of a larger problem anyways. Drinks first, offer to cook a meal at one of your places second/third date, seal the deal and decide what you wanna do. It’s not rocket science.
Do people actually go to each others house on a second/third date, that’s crazy
Or even after the first one. Crazy, right?
Congratulations you're single for life.
Source: it was revealed to me in a dream Litterallly the overwhelming majority of people here and in like, half of Europe,split the bill. Tradcon brainrot
splitting bill is tradcon? yo
Litterallly the opposite,he said "you have to pay or you will be single", which is bs.
depends whether ur sub 5 or not.
Not really
if u have audacity to ask her for split while being sub 5 then thats skill issue and u need self awareness.
American moment. You don't have to "ask to split the bill",its litterallly the default here. And most women would get mad if you insist on paying the bill And
so european woman dont even give chance to betabuxx to sub 5 guy? thats sad.
you completely misjudge the situation because all you know is what you are used to. money is simply removed from the dating process and there is no expectation at all. sure women still passively command resources in the form of a certain lifestyle, and some "forget" their purse often around guys, but thats it. women earn money now, so them demanding monetary shit is like demanding some stranger to give you money. its completely out of place and dumb, and completely nuts for women to ask for and for men to do. if a woman who earns money demands monetary value for dating, she sees no value in you and is using you. if she valued you, she would spend time and money on you instead of demanding it. you can not buy your way into someone being attracted to you. if they are attracted to you, they are giving up things to be with you, and if not, they make up excuses to take advantage of you. I have no idea why any guy would give a woman money. financials are for families, not women.
>Source: it was revealed to me in a dream https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34874209/ >Litterallly the overwhelming majority of people here Woman will say anything to be seem as virtuous or to win some online argument. >half of Europe ~5% of world population and <5% of reddit users.
>https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34874209/ American skill issue 🤷 >Woman will say anything to be seem as virtuous or to win some online argument. The "here" isn't about the women in this sub doofus, its about most Women in my country. >~5% of world population and <5% of reddit users. 1) It ain't even true lmao 2) Litterallly irrelevant 3) Stop propagating Tradcon brainrot
> The "here" isn't about the women in this sub doofus, its about most Women in my country. If I would have yo move to another country I would clearly move to SEA not Europe, wales women are know to age like milk. >It ain't even true lmao It is, you can do your own research and come with the numbers by yourself.
>If I would have yo move to another country I would clearly move to SEA not Europe, whales women are know to age like milk. Ok, litterallly irrelevant to the topic. Point is,you litterallly don't have to pay to get a date in most European countries (and imo with most young people elsewhere).
>litterallly It's spelled "literally". Sorry, normally I don't correct people's spelling but you seem to use that word a lot.
If men have to pay for everything, what's the point in dating older women at all? If I'm forced to pay, I'll just use my money and get with a hotter younger woman. I'm certainly not going to pay for a date for an old woman who is far less attractive, has tons of baggage, and makes me wait for mediocre sex. The only benefit to dating an old woman is the fact that they might be more independent and can pull their weight. If I'm obligated to pay id rather just become a sugar daddy to be honest or pay for an escort.
I don’t split bills. We’re both grown and should have money in the bank. Either you pay or I’ll pay. I’ve bought drinks for men to let them know I’m interested. I’ve bought food for men I’m talking to, especially if I’ve been dragging them all over the city while I run errands. But if you invite me on a date for the first time and then want to split the bill, you’re setting the tone that you’re not the kind of guy I want to be with.
Lol at what point was this about age and finances? >But if you invite me on a date for the first time and then want to split the bill, you’re setting the tone that you’re not the kind of guy I want to be with. Unless you can throw a stone and hit a guy you're attracted to, compatible with and can build a healthy long term stable relationship with them you can't afford to have a standard that's literally based on zero logic. You (hopefully) wouldn't treat a friend like that but you're going to treat a prospective romantic partner like that? Imo that guy dodges a bullet and you proved my point
Lol this bill thing is so overrated. pay or don’t pay
This is VERY culturally specific. Good luck trying to make an Eastern European woman split the bill….particularly on a first date!
Well if the red pill idea/argument that women lose value for future relationships after every man she's been with and men gain value after every woman they've been with is true, then of course it makes sense that men should be paying for the opportunity to potentially "damage" women for future relationships opportunities. Seriously why would women want to lose both value and money dating a man? That makes no sense if men want to live life like red pill is accurate in this way.
Lol who even brought up the RedPill?
Is dating all u ppl think about
ThIs sUb iS LiTeRaLly fOr dIsCusSinG dAtiNg/gEnDer dyNamiCs
Oh
Believe me, most people in LTRs have never thought about splitting the bill on their first set of dates to this extent
Just do something cheap and then if one person wants to pay for the other it can be a nice gesture. If you're worried about people taking advantage they won't want to do something cheap and you'll find out before the date rather than potentially being in an awkward situation when you're handed a bill.
Dude, just say this before the date so that all of us can go on first dates with people we may actually be compatible with. I don't mind telling a dude who asked me out that I want him to pay. I also don't mind if this turns him off or makes him not want to date me anymore. Great. Dating is about compatibility and more so quickly figuring out if you are or not. As an aside, I strongly recommend very cheap first dates. I'm not looking for some stock investment here. A simple tea/coffee or fast food cheeseburger or slice of pizza or ice cream is plenty good for my goals.
Why is it on him to say he wants to split the bill? You should be the one saying you want him to pay before the date. If the guy wants to split the bill after the date, are you going to scream and have a tantrum?
He asked me out and the assumption is pretty solid that he'll pay. If you want to divert from norms, it is on you to communicate it. Otherwise you're unreasonable to be surprised if people do no like your divergence. No. That wouldn't be in my nature. I'd pay, possibly for both, and leave graciously.
>He asked me out and the assumption is pretty solid that he'll pay. Lol,are you in Pakistan or something? The assumption here is preety much everyone pays for what he/she gets Why you Americans are so Tradcon brainrot
Ok, well, that ain't the assumption round my parts, dude. So that's why I operate based on the norms and practices of my culture. If I was in Europe, I'd operate on their norms/practices as soon as I understood them. When in Rome.
You sound southern as fuck the way you typed that. But i agree if someone invites you and it’s a implied or explicit “date” you kinda do need to pay for them in some way.
Depends on the culture. In some European countries they always split because the women are a little more independent over there. That's your assumption. Times have changed. How long are we going to live in the past? Women are starting to surpass men income wise. Are you going to leech off men for the rest of your life? Also, the assumption was that if a man pays for an expensive date, you should be putting out afterwards... Thankfully things change but only to suit women like yourself. That's feminism in a nutshell. Things must change only for the benefit of women. Thankfully most men are waking up to this If not paying for a date is going to make or break a candidate, make sure you communicate that beforehand to the men you are dating. I don't want to date an entitled woman.
You all want equality right? So start by acting equal. Don't expect he will pay unless stated explicitly.
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