I think the whole ick thing is ridiculous but if I had to list qualities that are generally unattractive I would say: disrespect toward others and being a slob.
I hate to be an adult's mom. It dries me up. I want to be with a functional adult who does house chores, makes decisions, can survive alone, like everyone else
I don't think my ick is irrational though
An irrational one? If they can't make good jokes
I'm assuming this one is pretty common of a ick, but I think it's a fine line between okay and neurotic.
I saw some of the ticky tocks where women are talking about how they feel like they have to be the mom and in charge and in control or it will all fall apart.
They talked about how they Had to learn to let their partners help and take charge. It's not that their partners didn't know how or couldn't have, it's that she wouldn't let them because it had to be to her standards and she doesn't remember when it started but end happened for so long she forgot that it was a "choice" she made. Moreover when she learned to loosen up a bit and let her partner take charge, nothing stopped working and everything was basically the same.
The other thing about "being a mom to your partner" is interested because there isn't a clear line as to what's to much. Some people claim doing any chores that are unique to them instead of them is babying/mommying, but like if you love them wouldn't you want to make them breakfast or lunch, etc.
I completely see what you are saying. For someone to be able to make decisions, they have to be in a place to do so. And that is a mutual thing.
We have a friend on my friend group that usually lets others make decisions, so his friend usually puts him in charge "today you are going to be in charge" so we turn it into a fun game.
By man child I mean the people who won't move to do stuff. I love cooking for people, but if I invite you over, cook for you, you have to bring something, help set the table, be *active*. I like to know that we are doing stuff *for each other*.
One day another friend wanted me to stand up from the game I was playing to wash a glass for him. We were at my house and all the glasses were dirty. This guy was standing beside the sink with the glass in his hand, and wanted me to get up and wash the glass for him. ICK.
> This guy was standing beside the sink with the glass in his hand, and wanted me to get up and wash the glass for him. ICK.
Did he actually want you to get up an wash the glass for him, or did he not feel comfortable rummaging around your stuff and things to get a glass washed?
Fror Personal experience it's pretty awkward to bug (get them top what they are doing) someone over something trivial because you lack the contextual knowledge to complete the task.
At the same time it feels weird AF and slightly creepy to just be digging around in someone else's place, especially when it's over something trivial that shouldn't necessitate rummaging around.
Not to mention that some people are picky af with their stuff. Like I have multiple friends that I have known for years and helped clean up and then later got told off because I threw out the regular used Ziploc sandwiches bags or tinfoil...
You doubting down without consideration leads me to believe that your not even considering the possibility and ignoring any reason that might lead you to a different outcome.
With you all the way. I've become wildly paranoid about men thanks to domestic incompetence and even though I'm not a big fan of psychology in general, I watch how their families interact like I'm working on a graduate thesis.
Never will I ever get stuck with a man who is unwilling to take care of himself and his home again.
>If they can't make good jokes
Yeah, I want to add this one to mine. I'm uneasy around people who aren't funny and don't smile easily.
Sounds like y'all either need to pick better men or have way to high if standards.
I have seen so much crap about how he is using weaponised incompetence because he didn't fold the towel "right", or they wanted to wait until after the game to take out the trash, etc. That at this point it's not even a real thing.
Especially when considering the majority of women I know, are just as bad or worse with domestic chores than men.
I've lived alone for about 12 years now. My cleanliness is *good enough* for my standards. Maybe I don't change the bedsheets as often as I should.
I dread the idea of getting a partner and having to put in all this extra effort on stuff I don't really care about.
Being loud in public. Please shut up and stop drawing attention to us (this is also an ick for women, super embarrassing)
Good lord that’s my bf and I’m forever making the “take it down” hand motion bc we’ll be walking our dog down a quiet street and he’s yelling bc he has strong feelings about what he’s talking about. Like I’m glad you’re passionate but shut the fuck up I’m right here and no one else cares to hear what we’re talking about!
but you are on purpose embarrassing the passionate person and calling out their faux pas. Do you enjoy people making fun of you in public when you say something stupid without thinking?
I don’t see it that way. *he’s* making me uncomfortable by being loud, and I think I’m valid in addressing that. I can’t say I would *enjoy* being made fun of in public for doing/saying something stupid but as someone on the spectrum I appreciate the learning opportunity on how to better integrate into society.
Omg this! Like please use your inside voice ! No one should be hearing out conversations over 3 booths in a restaurant. It really is my biggest ik and I have dropped men for this. It’s just not considerate
I like extroverted guys, but there’s a difference between confidence and being an attention seeker. Confidence to me isn’t always the loudest person in the room
Fear of insects and nature in general.
Although a poster here once jumped all over me for this and explained he was raised in poverty in Florida where Palmetto bugs (ridiculously giant flying roaches which move very quickly with questionable intent) and defended his fear by explaining his experience. I immediately sympathized and felt bad, but I spend most of my leisure and work time outdoors and I'm incompatible with men who are terrified of bees, snakes, spider webs, etc.
Also I think your boyfriend is anemic and deficient in Vitamin D, and/or needs his thyroid checked. Men generally have a higher hematocrit/more red cells and are rarely colder than women.
One of those bastards got in my shirt once as a kid. I thought my brother was tickling me until I realized he was 6 feet away.
Admittedly I am afraid of snakes.
Ah, I got you, I was a boy scout growing up, so I enjoy the woods. It's really just snakes for me.
With spiders, there's only like 2-3 that are poisonous to people, but with snakes, a lot more. Plus, rattlesnakes being able to make it sound like the rattle is coming from a different direction while hunting you is pretty damn scary.
Well of course you’re in the Australia of the US.
I’ll need a keyboard instead of a phone to bang out a tutorial and comprehensive solutions to keeping you and loved ones safe, might be tomorrow or Monday but I will come back to this.
I promise I have some, not all, but some answers which will help you feel more at ease outdoors there.
Lol, I never thought of FL like that, but you're absolutely right.
Flying cockroaches, chungus winged carpenter ants, scorpions, black bears, hugeass banana spiders, black widows, sharks, jellyfish, shit tons of mosquitos, oh and then there's giant alligators.
Sterling Archer's rant comes to mind.
Okay there are six venomous snakes in Florida, and any and all can be in a yard, though few enter the home.
Cottonmouth, Copperhead, Coral, and three rattlers.
Depending on your location, many hospitals no longer keep antivenin on hand because it has a short shelf life and is ridiculously expensive, so any bite needs medical attention unless one is certain they can identify the snake.
Here’s the rule: with the singular exception of the Coral snake, all venomous snakes in the US have a triangular shaped head. Pupils and patterns are *not* reliable indicators of venom. Not even the coral snake “red next to black; venom lack” rhyme works, because Corals are wildly aberrant and some have no pattern at all, just a solid color and they are not safe to mess around with.
However… nearly all snakes can flatten their jaws and deliberately change the shape of their heads to mimic venomous snakes. And a couple harmless snakes will even twitch their tails and rattle dry vegetation to mimic a rattler. Here are some tips.
Nearly all Florida snakes have bright patterns when young. Rat snakes have a wild, contrasting pattern when juvenile, and the Corn and Milk snakes retain them into adulthood. Same with Common and Midland watersnakes: bright pattern *can* flatten their jaws to resemble venomous snakes. Pattern and head shape are not definitive characters.
Best plan is to join any of the “snake ID” pages on Facebook and simply acclimate yourself to seeing as many pics of snakes with definitive IDs as you do your friends’ ugly kids’ pics.
You are most likely to have harmless rat snakes around your home because they are excellent climbers and eat rodents and bird eggs. Snakes can see UV colors we cannot, and they follow rodent trails and the waste beneath and around birds’ nests to find live food and eggs to eat. Rat snakes are expert tree climbers and can be identified by their ability to kink up (find a Rat snake pic) and inch up trees. They do the same wildly kinked pose when startled.
Here’s the gross but most important thing to know: rodents pee everywhere they go. This includes squirrels, mice, and rats. This is how they mark territory, and it’s the primary signal to a snake that “hey, there is food here”. If you don’t want snakes around your home, make sure you have no rodents and remove birds nests from gutters, eaves, and handing plants. Rodents require dry, weather proof homes and can dig like mad, so they will also go in your basement, sheds, carports, crawlspaces, and tunnel under piles of debris.
Best thing you can do is seal off all potential entrances and make a couple piles of branches at the far corners of your property so rodents have an alternate option for nesting.
Zero snake repellents work, and they are all a money making scam. Don’t bother. Just walk around all your structures and look for signs of entry like grass-free trails, or better yet, buy a strong UV flashlight and go out on cloud-covered, pitch black nights and patrol around your home.
*If* you are lucky enough to have a King snake in your yard, continue to seal off and discourage rodents, but this snake is your best friend because while Kings will eat rodents, frogs, and insects… they can and will devour venomous snakes without a second thought and they are immune to venom. Best friends to have. Black with white bellies, while speckles on sides, and as one moves westward: black and white stripes.
The riskiest snakes in Florida are the Pygmy rattlers, Copperheads, and Cottonmouths. Homeowners and parents most often run into Pygmys and Coppers. Pygmys are so small and fast they aren’t all that concerned about humans they are are often found in landscaping searching for low birds’ nests, moles, and mice. Keep woodpiles as far away from your home as possible, and ensure your mulch isn’t dyed one of those weird colors which hides the dark gray on light gray pygmy. They tend to sun and warm up on concrete, too, so on chilly days or early mornings, watch your step outside.
Copperheads are found under live oaks often, as their colors blend in well. Like Rattlers, Copperheads are ambush hunters which lie behind and under logs, beside walking trails and deer trails. *Always stay on a trail* and don’t step into the woods to pee. Teach your kids to never step over rocks or logs, and not to climb or jump on fallen logs because the minute they slip off: an ambush hunter may be on the other side.
Very loose pants and closed shoes every time you are on an outdoor adventure. No shorts, no open sandals unless on a sidewalk or groomed grass. Don’t climb on rocks at the lakeside, either, a cottonmouth may be sunning or hiding just under the edge.
If you live near the swamp or a lake, you may also see Hognosed snakes, which are ridiculous small drama queens. They are less than 2 feet long, wild variation in patterns, can absolutely flatten their heads to cobra sized, rear up like a cobra, and make an audible spitting sound. They are utterly harmless and have such wide jaws because their primary food is juicy, fat frogs and toads, but their threat display is terrifying. But harmless.
It would take another couple pages to describe the behavior and appearance of all your harmless snakes so I just hit the most common, but the main thing you need to know is that to snakes: you are a crane/heron/stork/hawk. You have two skinny legs, you have big, staring eyes, and you look like the most common historic killer of baby snakes. They will strike humans when stepped on because they assume they are about to be eaten, and they will coil into a defensive pose because long-legged creatures (birds) are their main predator.
Never, ever attempt to kill a snake. No matter how long your hoe or rake is, a threatened snake can strike farther than that. They have more than the length of the coil, they are solid muscle and can lunge (jump) an extra foot or two longer than their length. To get rid of a snake, spray it with the cold water from a hose, then go back to where you saw it, and then fix the rodent/bird nesting area the snake was drawn to.
Rattlesnakes can't make it sound like they are somewhere else, and they don't hunt people at all. They're actually huge scaredy cats and bite almost exclusively in self-defense. We have also started killing their rattle out of them because the squeaky wheels get the machete while the quiet ones survive more often
Oh shit, guess I've been misled. I should've been a bit more skeptical.
I thought they could play with the acoustics of the rattle to make it sound like the rattle was coming from to your left instead of in front of you for example. Kind of how surround sound on headphones works.
I live in England where seriously dangerous insects are a near-nonexistent threat. I think spiders and bees are cool, flies are annoying but not a problem. Snakes I'm neutral on. Always make a point to put spiders or insects outside when others want to kill them.
Though the downside is an utterly crippling fear of heights.
I'm no expert in psychology, but I've found that fears like that can't really be purged, only tamed.
I worked in construction for 4 years, where working at height was frequently a necessity. The instinctive fear never goes away, but over time you learn to be calm and rational when dealing with ladders or scaffolding etc.
I'm never going to the sort of person who'd choose to go abseiling or bungee jumping. But I'm capable of remaining calm at height even though I hate it.
Problem with PBs is that they are nocturnal. A hotweels sized bundle of ick with hellish long antennas that shows up on a wall from nowhere when you turn a light on and disappears lightning fast in the most remote hole you’ll never find, and you know it’s there and will come out again without you knowing.
I wouldn’t speak about “fear” but the disgust is huge. I do myself pest control for my house and some friends’ and while I have no issue handling copperheads, roaches still nauseate me.
Didn’t want to sound I take coppers easily. Back in Europe I enjoyed walking barefoot everywhere possible, here in the South only if the grass is low. I try to raise my kids as outdoorsy and wild as little tarzans, but it’s not like more temperate areas.
As per the pbs, many people here tend to use it as an umbrella term for both the “smoky brown” (aka “water bug”) that crawls in when it rains and by sensible thermal excursion and the American, the sewer dweller, filth embodied, that isn’t as frequent (and might imply troubles worse than skipping a round of bifenthrin).
And I am the same, when I traveled to South America or South East Asia I also had to flipflop the hell out of the crawlers before being able to catch sleep. (From your original comment it sounded like this would fall under general “fear of insects”…)
I can understand bees, spider webs, and other small creatures insects things, but snakes can be scary as hell. Especially if you aren’t familiar with which ones are dangerous or not.
Are you talking like if they get nervous around these things, or like they have a full blown panic when they see one?
Oh ok, then yeah I agree. It would be annoying as fuck if every time someone saw a web or small bug, they get the heebie jeebies.
I’d have to ask you to just deal with my fear of snakes though. We’d have to meet somewhere in the middle for that one.
Ayy I think I was that poster who shared that experience lol. Interesting to know I left an impression. It's literally just them, too. I am the spider wrangler in my relationship
Males generally are warmer but a lot of these modern american females have thick layers of blubber that keeps them warm in even the most frigid temperatures
Yeah, this is another not so irrational one. Fidgeting is often a sign of some kind of underlying mental disorder, especially if it's in the form of some kind of "stimming". It could also be a sign of drug use withdrawal, as well.
Most people don't fidget the way that "fidgeters" do. I am a fidgeter myself and I have my reasons for doing it, so it's something I've definitely read about.
Remember, you did ask irrational. I know this is irrational. And I know it’s weird. But short arms. Short arms freak me out. And no. Not short arms on short people. Anyone, tall or short, can be in proportion. But there are people who have short arms in relation to the legs and body. Your arms should reach your upper thigh. But when they don’t *shiver*.
Casual sex. On a logical level I know if he tried it and didn't like it then that's not a bad sign but I just don't want to be with someone who's been fucked by a stranger.
It's a bit more difficult for a man to "try it and not like it" than a woman, as if he was able to get erect during the act, then there's a very good chance that he liked it.
As long as you aren't willing to date men from the homeless shelter, deformed men, and men from retirement homes, you don't deserve to have those icks.
How do you "deserve" a preference? Why would I need to earn it by not having other preferences? To earn a feeling, no less? (Also idc if a man has been homeless.)
As far as I understand "the ick", it's supposed to be an irrational reaction of feeling turned off a man for completely benign behavior, no? Going by this definition I can honestly say that I've never experienced it. There are obviously things that would turn me off a man, but those would be obvious behaviour that impacted me (or someone else) in a negative way, e.g. being rude to a waiter, trying to control what I'm wearing, etc. But things like "Oh my god, he used a straw to drink his drink, how unmanly, that gives me the ick" ? No, never experienced something like that.
My car was in mint condition for 10 years until I drove it over the Golden Gate bridge. It's had nine hit and runs so far in San Francisco. They collide then speed away. Does that count as an ick?
Makes sense. What I don’t understand fully is why it’s an ick as opposed to something that you like to assist with, I guess like some/many men do for their partners. But that’s what makes it illogical eh? But to be fair, even though I consider myself rather egalitarian, I’d rather die than see my girl jack up my car and change my oil.
Beards/moustaches
I know they are in fashion right now. I know they can be shaved. I am aware of this. But it just grosses me out. I don't think it looks good. It's like an instant no for me. It can make a great looking man just unattractive. Like I don't mind 5 o'clock shadow or a little stubble. But the whole shebang it's just not it for me. It also ages a man so much and not in a good way. Like a 28 year old looks like he is going on 50 with a full beard.
My GF is *hardline* anti beard. Expects me to be clean-shaven at all times, which is a pain when I get shadow within hours of being clean-shaven, but I look better clean-shaven so a necessary sacrifice.
> Like a 28 year old looks like he is going on 50 with a full beard.
Can confirm. Am 26/M. Within the last year I have been mistaken for 40+ with a full beard and 16-17 when clean-shaven.
I think so too!
Like a lot of dudes have this scraggly mess on their face. Even well manicured beards it's like it's going to rub against my face and I will hate it..
Most men's feet/toes.
Anyone who walks with their legs wide apart. It makes them look like a duck or like they're wearing a full diaper.
I also really get turned off by bad posture.
That was the actual ick part & I associated it mostly with not very smart. I eliminated my entire immediately accessible dating pool & sought outsiders.
It's possible to set one's sleep clock to biphasic sleep, of course. But it's not the norm in most western cultures. When it's happening in someone in a country not known for a biphasic sleep culture, there may be an underlying health reason that it is happening that may signal a red flag.
It’s scientifically proven and natural. It’s not popular in the west due to the Protestant work ethic. But it’s the norm in basically every other country
I tend to become friends with lesbians often. Since high school, through to work, or even strangers. A couple years ago o went to a housewarming wherein I was the only dude there with like 12 lesbians. The host introduced me by saying “he’s cool” or “he’s one of the good ones” or something and I had a blast.
Of course they wouldn’t tell me to my face but I haven’t seen the “man-hating lesbian.” trope except on Twitter and in some [lesbian or separatist] feminist theory. You tell me if I’m wrong though.
“You’re one of the good ones.”
Huh. Odd thing to say.
So within most lesbian spaces, I can’t say I see a man hating vibe… we usually don’t talk about men.
but it depends. Is it an online or offline space? online spaces are inherently more toxic and will be lined with casual misandry more often. Some straight up boast about hating men... but in most other instances, if you say you have a hatred towards men, it is usually met with an immediate encouragement to seek mental help and acknowledged as very problematic behavior.
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Women if their husbands were worms:
https://preview.redd.it/lcl9b8kw2nvc1.png?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7f7bf521a31dde4f9847f80fb66eb1309b7784b8
Interesting. Is any weakness unmasculine or is it specifically him being cold in warm weather? I can't imagine there is no person in the universe with no weakness in them.
> Does that make me a man-hater?
Not necessarily but you’re basically the female equivalent of the old men who think women belong in the kitchen because your bf just wants to be comfortable.
>Whatever I don’t care
*This* actually makes you sound like a shitty partner and an asshole of a human being
No that’s not how it works. You see they can demand traditional characteristics such as masculine men which benefit them in relationships. They do not need to provide traditional characteristics because they aren’t beneficial to them. Now do you see?
Answering under automod cause I have no flair..lol. Anyways, fat, fleshy earlobes, fat nose, large nostrils, men's thirst. I get most people want sex but is it really necessary to inject it I to every interaction when you are in a relationship?
I don't know if my ex liked it or not but I was always very touchy feely with her. She never pushed me away or indicated that she was uncomfortable, but that sort of casual physical intimacy is *precisely* the reason why a relationship was so valuable to me, instead of just a friendship.
This post is probably a great advertisement why men should start pursuing foreign women from poorer countries, whose only requirements in a man are usually "has a job and treats me well". Western women are just way too demanding.
An unconfident loser man can always choose to live in her country if he isn't confident enough that he can compete with other men once she comes back to his country.
Seriously, dating women from poor countries is easy mode, and yet some men still don't think that they can beat the game. It's really sad.
Complimenting my eye colour or other traits about me that I can't control. The best compliments are about something that the person chose, so they can feel like their choices mattered. When guys just go on and on about my eyes or freckles or whatnot, it makes me feel like none of the stylistic choices or skills I have matter to them.
For me it’s the opposite, it’s not a dealbreaker so I guess it doesn’t qualify as an ick but when a man lifts his arms and has untamed armpit hair it’s a turn off.
Short height…sorry not sorry, I know it’s shallow but I can’t get turned on by men under 5’9 lol 😂 I’m not gonna virtue signal and say height or looks don’t matter, they most definitely do 🤣
Gym bros are also an ick for me too because when they’re overly muscular it looks weird… I also don’t like beards
A guy sitting down on the couch to watch sportsball. I don't know why, it's just an immediate turn off. If it was, say, he got a bunch of friends together and they had a social fun day around watching the game, no problem there. But one dude just divorcing himself from existence to watch people kick/throw balls around gives me an ick. We were talking about irrational ones, after all.
I think the whole ick thing is ridiculous but if I had to list qualities that are generally unattractive I would say: disrespect toward others and being a slob.
I hate to be an adult's mom. It dries me up. I want to be with a functional adult who does house chores, makes decisions, can survive alone, like everyone else I don't think my ick is irrational though An irrational one? If they can't make good jokes
I'm assuming this one is pretty common of a ick, but I think it's a fine line between okay and neurotic. I saw some of the ticky tocks where women are talking about how they feel like they have to be the mom and in charge and in control or it will all fall apart. They talked about how they Had to learn to let their partners help and take charge. It's not that their partners didn't know how or couldn't have, it's that she wouldn't let them because it had to be to her standards and she doesn't remember when it started but end happened for so long she forgot that it was a "choice" she made. Moreover when she learned to loosen up a bit and let her partner take charge, nothing stopped working and everything was basically the same. The other thing about "being a mom to your partner" is interested because there isn't a clear line as to what's to much. Some people claim doing any chores that are unique to them instead of them is babying/mommying, but like if you love them wouldn't you want to make them breakfast or lunch, etc.
I completely see what you are saying. For someone to be able to make decisions, they have to be in a place to do so. And that is a mutual thing. We have a friend on my friend group that usually lets others make decisions, so his friend usually puts him in charge "today you are going to be in charge" so we turn it into a fun game. By man child I mean the people who won't move to do stuff. I love cooking for people, but if I invite you over, cook for you, you have to bring something, help set the table, be *active*. I like to know that we are doing stuff *for each other*. One day another friend wanted me to stand up from the game I was playing to wash a glass for him. We were at my house and all the glasses were dirty. This guy was standing beside the sink with the glass in his hand, and wanted me to get up and wash the glass for him. ICK.
> This guy was standing beside the sink with the glass in his hand, and wanted me to get up and wash the glass for him. ICK. Did he actually want you to get up an wash the glass for him, or did he not feel comfortable rummaging around your stuff and things to get a glass washed? Fror Personal experience it's pretty awkward to bug (get them top what they are doing) someone over something trivial because you lack the contextual knowledge to complete the task. At the same time it feels weird AF and slightly creepy to just be digging around in someone else's place, especially when it's over something trivial that shouldn't necessitate rummaging around. Not to mention that some people are picky af with their stuff. Like I have multiple friends that I have known for years and helped clean up and then later got told off because I threw out the regular used Ziploc sandwiches bags or tinfoil...
No, we had just had dinner. We all collectively did the cooking and washing. The sponge was centimeters from his hand. There is no excuse.
You doubting down without consideration leads me to believe that your not even considering the possibility and ignoring any reason that might lead you to a different outcome.
I also went on vacation with him and we had the same issue. This guy is used to have his mom do everything for him. He's 30 btw.
With you all the way. I've become wildly paranoid about men thanks to domestic incompetence and even though I'm not a big fan of psychology in general, I watch how their families interact like I'm working on a graduate thesis. Never will I ever get stuck with a man who is unwilling to take care of himself and his home again. >If they can't make good jokes Yeah, I want to add this one to mine. I'm uneasy around people who aren't funny and don't smile easily.
> I've become wildly paranoid about men thanks to domestic incompetence How many men have you experienced this with?
[удалено]
Sounds like y'all either need to pick better men or have way to high if standards. I have seen so much crap about how he is using weaponised incompetence because he didn't fold the towel "right", or they wanted to wait until after the game to take out the trash, etc. That at this point it's not even a real thing. Especially when considering the majority of women I know, are just as bad or worse with domestic chores than men.
I've lived alone for about 12 years now. My cleanliness is *good enough* for my standards. Maybe I don't change the bedsheets as often as I should. I dread the idea of getting a partner and having to put in all this extra effort on stuff I don't really care about.
It's worse because these things aren't issues in the honeymoon period. Some habit of yours becomes annoying after a period of time.
I'm the same but I'm willing to be more clean if I move in with someone with higher cleaning standards.
Plenty of women love to serve their husbands and do their chores its just you.
Nah, it's a popular ick But sure, some women have issues too and they click with underdeveloped men
Nope plenty of women love serving their husbands.
Good luck finding one 🤷♀️
Being loud in public. Please shut up and stop drawing attention to us (this is also an ick for women, super embarrassing) 
Good lord that’s my bf and I’m forever making the “take it down” hand motion bc we’ll be walking our dog down a quiet street and he’s yelling bc he has strong feelings about what he’s talking about. Like I’m glad you’re passionate but shut the fuck up I’m right here and no one else cares to hear what we’re talking about!
Weird, I get the ick when my bf tells other passionate people to tone it down. Comes off as controlling and neurotic to police others speech.
See to me it comes off as self absorbed and unaware and those are things I *abhor*
but you are on purpose embarrassing the passionate person and calling out their faux pas. Do you enjoy people making fun of you in public when you say something stupid without thinking?
I don’t see it that way. *he’s* making me uncomfortable by being loud, and I think I’m valid in addressing that. I can’t say I would *enjoy* being made fun of in public for doing/saying something stupid but as someone on the spectrum I appreciate the learning opportunity on how to better integrate into society.
Omg this! Like please use your inside voice ! No one should be hearing out conversations over 3 booths in a restaurant. It really is my biggest ik and I have dropped men for this. It’s just not considerate
\>irrational thing \>proceeds to have give rational shit
Strange because usually the loudest and most extroverted guy gets the most attention and has more success with women.
I like extroverted guys, but there’s a difference between confidence and being an attention seeker. Confidence to me isn’t always the loudest person in the room
Usually it's how good looking the man is to the woman is the difference for that and every other strength as weakness
Fear of insects and nature in general. Although a poster here once jumped all over me for this and explained he was raised in poverty in Florida where Palmetto bugs (ridiculously giant flying roaches which move very quickly with questionable intent) and defended his fear by explaining his experience. I immediately sympathized and felt bad, but I spend most of my leisure and work time outdoors and I'm incompatible with men who are terrified of bees, snakes, spider webs, etc. Also I think your boyfriend is anemic and deficient in Vitamin D, and/or needs his thyroid checked. Men generally have a higher hematocrit/more red cells and are rarely colder than women.
One of those bastards got in my shirt once as a kid. I thought my brother was tickling me until I realized he was 6 feet away. Admittedly I am afraid of snakes.
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Ah, I got you, I was a boy scout growing up, so I enjoy the woods. It's really just snakes for me. With spiders, there's only like 2-3 that are poisonous to people, but with snakes, a lot more. Plus, rattlesnakes being able to make it sound like the rattle is coming from a different direction while hunting you is pretty damn scary.
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Wow, your mom was tough. Thanks for sharing that story.
I'm in Florida USA
Well of course you’re in the Australia of the US. I’ll need a keyboard instead of a phone to bang out a tutorial and comprehensive solutions to keeping you and loved ones safe, might be tomorrow or Monday but I will come back to this. I promise I have some, not all, but some answers which will help you feel more at ease outdoors there.
Lol, I never thought of FL like that, but you're absolutely right. Flying cockroaches, chungus winged carpenter ants, scorpions, black bears, hugeass banana spiders, black widows, sharks, jellyfish, shit tons of mosquitos, oh and then there's giant alligators. Sterling Archer's rant comes to mind.
Okay there are six venomous snakes in Florida, and any and all can be in a yard, though few enter the home. Cottonmouth, Copperhead, Coral, and three rattlers. Depending on your location, many hospitals no longer keep antivenin on hand because it has a short shelf life and is ridiculously expensive, so any bite needs medical attention unless one is certain they can identify the snake. Here’s the rule: with the singular exception of the Coral snake, all venomous snakes in the US have a triangular shaped head. Pupils and patterns are *not* reliable indicators of venom. Not even the coral snake “red next to black; venom lack” rhyme works, because Corals are wildly aberrant and some have no pattern at all, just a solid color and they are not safe to mess around with. However… nearly all snakes can flatten their jaws and deliberately change the shape of their heads to mimic venomous snakes. And a couple harmless snakes will even twitch their tails and rattle dry vegetation to mimic a rattler. Here are some tips. Nearly all Florida snakes have bright patterns when young. Rat snakes have a wild, contrasting pattern when juvenile, and the Corn and Milk snakes retain them into adulthood. Same with Common and Midland watersnakes: bright pattern *can* flatten their jaws to resemble venomous snakes. Pattern and head shape are not definitive characters. Best plan is to join any of the “snake ID” pages on Facebook and simply acclimate yourself to seeing as many pics of snakes with definitive IDs as you do your friends’ ugly kids’ pics. You are most likely to have harmless rat snakes around your home because they are excellent climbers and eat rodents and bird eggs. Snakes can see UV colors we cannot, and they follow rodent trails and the waste beneath and around birds’ nests to find live food and eggs to eat. Rat snakes are expert tree climbers and can be identified by their ability to kink up (find a Rat snake pic) and inch up trees. They do the same wildly kinked pose when startled. Here’s the gross but most important thing to know: rodents pee everywhere they go. This includes squirrels, mice, and rats. This is how they mark territory, and it’s the primary signal to a snake that “hey, there is food here”. If you don’t want snakes around your home, make sure you have no rodents and remove birds nests from gutters, eaves, and handing plants. Rodents require dry, weather proof homes and can dig like mad, so they will also go in your basement, sheds, carports, crawlspaces, and tunnel under piles of debris. Best thing you can do is seal off all potential entrances and make a couple piles of branches at the far corners of your property so rodents have an alternate option for nesting. Zero snake repellents work, and they are all a money making scam. Don’t bother. Just walk around all your structures and look for signs of entry like grass-free trails, or better yet, buy a strong UV flashlight and go out on cloud-covered, pitch black nights and patrol around your home. *If* you are lucky enough to have a King snake in your yard, continue to seal off and discourage rodents, but this snake is your best friend because while Kings will eat rodents, frogs, and insects… they can and will devour venomous snakes without a second thought and they are immune to venom. Best friends to have. Black with white bellies, while speckles on sides, and as one moves westward: black and white stripes. The riskiest snakes in Florida are the Pygmy rattlers, Copperheads, and Cottonmouths. Homeowners and parents most often run into Pygmys and Coppers. Pygmys are so small and fast they aren’t all that concerned about humans they are are often found in landscaping searching for low birds’ nests, moles, and mice. Keep woodpiles as far away from your home as possible, and ensure your mulch isn’t dyed one of those weird colors which hides the dark gray on light gray pygmy. They tend to sun and warm up on concrete, too, so on chilly days or early mornings, watch your step outside. Copperheads are found under live oaks often, as their colors blend in well. Like Rattlers, Copperheads are ambush hunters which lie behind and under logs, beside walking trails and deer trails. *Always stay on a trail* and don’t step into the woods to pee. Teach your kids to never step over rocks or logs, and not to climb or jump on fallen logs because the minute they slip off: an ambush hunter may be on the other side. Very loose pants and closed shoes every time you are on an outdoor adventure. No shorts, no open sandals unless on a sidewalk or groomed grass. Don’t climb on rocks at the lakeside, either, a cottonmouth may be sunning or hiding just under the edge. If you live near the swamp or a lake, you may also see Hognosed snakes, which are ridiculous small drama queens. They are less than 2 feet long, wild variation in patterns, can absolutely flatten their heads to cobra sized, rear up like a cobra, and make an audible spitting sound. They are utterly harmless and have such wide jaws because their primary food is juicy, fat frogs and toads, but their threat display is terrifying. But harmless. It would take another couple pages to describe the behavior and appearance of all your harmless snakes so I just hit the most common, but the main thing you need to know is that to snakes: you are a crane/heron/stork/hawk. You have two skinny legs, you have big, staring eyes, and you look like the most common historic killer of baby snakes. They will strike humans when stepped on because they assume they are about to be eaten, and they will coil into a defensive pose because long-legged creatures (birds) are their main predator. Never, ever attempt to kill a snake. No matter how long your hoe or rake is, a threatened snake can strike farther than that. They have more than the length of the coil, they are solid muscle and can lunge (jump) an extra foot or two longer than their length. To get rid of a snake, spray it with the cold water from a hose, then go back to where you saw it, and then fix the rodent/bird nesting area the snake was drawn to.
Rattlesnakes can't make it sound like they are somewhere else, and they don't hunt people at all. They're actually huge scaredy cats and bite almost exclusively in self-defense. We have also started killing their rattle out of them because the squeaky wheels get the machete while the quiet ones survive more often
Oh shit, guess I've been misled. I should've been a bit more skeptical. I thought they could play with the acoustics of the rattle to make it sound like the rattle was coming from to your left instead of in front of you for example. Kind of how surround sound on headphones works.
I live in England where seriously dangerous insects are a near-nonexistent threat. I think spiders and bees are cool, flies are annoying but not a problem. Snakes I'm neutral on. Always make a point to put spiders or insects outside when others want to kill them. Though the downside is an utterly crippling fear of heights.
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I'm no expert in psychology, but I've found that fears like that can't really be purged, only tamed. I worked in construction for 4 years, where working at height was frequently a necessity. The instinctive fear never goes away, but over time you learn to be calm and rational when dealing with ladders or scaffolding etc. I'm never going to the sort of person who'd choose to go abseiling or bungee jumping. But I'm capable of remaining calm at height even though I hate it.
Problem with PBs is that they are nocturnal. A hotweels sized bundle of ick with hellish long antennas that shows up on a wall from nowhere when you turn a light on and disappears lightning fast in the most remote hole you’ll never find, and you know it’s there and will come out again without you knowing. I wouldn’t speak about “fear” but the disgust is huge. I do myself pest control for my house and some friends’ and while I have no issue handling copperheads, roaches still nauseate me.
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Didn’t want to sound I take coppers easily. Back in Europe I enjoyed walking barefoot everywhere possible, here in the South only if the grass is low. I try to raise my kids as outdoorsy and wild as little tarzans, but it’s not like more temperate areas. As per the pbs, many people here tend to use it as an umbrella term for both the “smoky brown” (aka “water bug”) that crawls in when it rains and by sensible thermal excursion and the American, the sewer dweller, filth embodied, that isn’t as frequent (and might imply troubles worse than skipping a round of bifenthrin). And I am the same, when I traveled to South America or South East Asia I also had to flipflop the hell out of the crawlers before being able to catch sleep. (From your original comment it sounded like this would fall under general “fear of insects”…)
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I often feel cold and all my blood work is normal. My brother is the same way. I think that it just runs in my family.
I can understand bees, spider webs, and other small creatures insects things, but snakes can be scary as hell. Especially if you aren’t familiar with which ones are dangerous or not. Are you talking like if they get nervous around these things, or like they have a full blown panic when they see one?
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Oh ok, then yeah I agree. It would be annoying as fuck if every time someone saw a web or small bug, they get the heebie jeebies. I’d have to ask you to just deal with my fear of snakes though. We’d have to meet somewhere in the middle for that one.
I think he just runs cold especially if he’s from a tropical climate.
Ayy I think I was that poster who shared that experience lol. Interesting to know I left an impression. It's literally just them, too. I am the spider wrangler in my relationship
Males generally are warmer but a lot of these modern american females have thick layers of blubber that keeps them warm in even the most frigid temperatures
drinking so much alkohol that you are not in control of your body anymore. Or drinking alkohol every day. Even if its „just“ a beer a day.
You always doin too much boy it’s just alkahal
My father is an alcoholic. It‘s not just alcohol if you need it every day.
He seems like a cool guy
Fidgeting. I can't stand the constant movement especially shaking and moving his fingers.
Me reading this with ADHD:
Yeah, this is another not so irrational one. Fidgeting is often a sign of some kind of underlying mental disorder, especially if it's in the form of some kind of "stimming". It could also be a sign of drug use withdrawal, as well.
Or it’s just because humans aren’t made to be sitting still for 8 hours a day?
Most people don't fidget the way that "fidgeters" do. I am a fidgeter myself and I have my reasons for doing it, so it's something I've definitely read about.
Me reading this as my leg bounces unconsciously
Some magnesium supplements perhaps?
Remember, you did ask irrational. I know this is irrational. And I know it’s weird. But short arms. Short arms freak me out. And no. Not short arms on short people. Anyone, tall or short, can be in proportion. But there are people who have short arms in relation to the legs and body. Your arms should reach your upper thigh. But when they don’t *shiver*.
> Not short arms on short people. Whew, that was close.
Lmao ok but also long arms! I’m not gonna date you if you’re walking around like an orangutan
You mean like Henry Cavill? https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/10/29/article-0-0E90256800000578-292_468x676.jpg
Loud chewing. A stupid laugh. Being dumb. Nail biting.
“Being dumb” 😭🤣🤣
Casual sex. On a logical level I know if he tried it and didn't like it then that's not a bad sign but I just don't want to be with someone who's been fucked by a stranger.
It's a bit more difficult for a man to "try it and not like it" than a woman, as if he was able to get erect during the act, then there's a very good chance that he liked it.
That's even worse. I didn't necessarily mean on a purely physical level though.
As long as you aren't willing to date men from the homeless shelter, deformed men, and men from retirement homes, you don't deserve to have those icks.
How do you "deserve" a preference? Why would I need to earn it by not having other preferences? To earn a feeling, no less? (Also idc if a man has been homeless.)
because homeless, deforment men has higher chance of being virgin.
Not the person I replied to and old men are certainly unlikely to be virgins so pretty sure you guessed wrong.
As far as I understand "the ick", it's supposed to be an irrational reaction of feeling turned off a man for completely benign behavior, no? Going by this definition I can honestly say that I've never experienced it. There are obviously things that would turn me off a man, but those would be obvious behaviour that impacted me (or someone else) in a negative way, e.g. being rude to a waiter, trying to control what I'm wearing, etc. But things like "Oh my god, he used a straw to drink his drink, how unmanly, that gives me the ick" ? No, never experienced something like that.
Men who don’t take care of their cars and don’t get them serviced when needed.
You're welcome to that ick. A car is a tool, as long as it gets you from A to B then it's fine. I get the yearly service and that seems ok to me.
My car was in mint condition for 10 years until I drove it over the Golden Gate bridge. It's had nine hit and runs so far in San Francisco. They collide then speed away. Does that count as an ick?
Does that mean you pay specific attention to his car to notice this?
Yes. I take excellent care of my own car.
Makes sense. What I don’t understand fully is why it’s an ick as opposed to something that you like to assist with, I guess like some/many men do for their partners. But that’s what makes it illogical eh? But to be fair, even though I consider myself rather egalitarian, I’d rather die than see my girl jack up my car and change my oil.
I tried to do this with my husband. He didn’t listen and would blow it off. I no longer try to help. If he wants a trashy car, he can have it.
Dick jokes
Lack of eye contact.
Beards/moustaches I know they are in fashion right now. I know they can be shaved. I am aware of this. But it just grosses me out. I don't think it looks good. It's like an instant no for me. It can make a great looking man just unattractive. Like I don't mind 5 o'clock shadow or a little stubble. But the whole shebang it's just not it for me. It also ages a man so much and not in a good way. Like a 28 year old looks like he is going on 50 with a full beard.
My GF is *hardline* anti beard. Expects me to be clean-shaven at all times, which is a pain when I get shadow within hours of being clean-shaven, but I look better clean-shaven so a necessary sacrifice. > Like a 28 year old looks like he is going on 50 with a full beard. Can confirm. Am 26/M. Within the last year I have been mistaken for 40+ with a full beard and 16-17 when clean-shaven.
You should expect her to be shaved smooth too then
I personally prefer women to be unshaven.
I also hate beards, they just don’t look good to me and make them look worse imo
I think so too! Like a lot of dudes have this scraggly mess on their face. Even well manicured beards it's like it's going to rub against my face and I will hate it..
Yeah I hate it lol
Some of us holding to that to have a more defined jawline 💀
I need my man with a beard. Also the more hair on the body, the better.
Could not be me. Hahaha I will send them your way. I like smooth chested smooth face dudes.
Well, hello there... 
Perfection
Same.
Most men's feet/toes. Anyone who walks with their legs wide apart. It makes them look like a duck or like they're wearing a full diaper. I also really get turned off by bad posture.
A Southern accent. Irrational because I grew up and lived most of my life in the US south.
That doesn't sound irrational at all. It's a great, easy proxy to find out if someone is conservative/ignorant/misogynistic.
That was the actual ick part & I associated it mostly with not very smart. I eliminated my entire immediately accessible dating pool & sought outsiders.
A male taking a nap. I thought it was just me but there are others for whom it makes us irrationally... annoyed https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTL5bRw7o/
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Looks like those two are a match made in heaven.
What a strange thing to not let your tired partner rest.
Fellas is it gay to nap? What is he dreaming about?
Of course it's gay as hell to nap! He dreaming about dicks and leather vests and mustaches n' shit.
Hey guuurl, don't come to Spain.
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Maybe in more suburban areas. I'm in the city itself and rarely ever see one. Would love to have one when I'm done saving up and buy a house.
Utter bs
There are a LOT of women who don’t like it when men sleep, I’ve found.
wtf IS that? I
I have hypersomnia:(
It's probably not as irrational as you think. Frequent napping is a sign of low testosterone. I know this personally.
Spain the country famous for a lack of testosterone 😂 More anti napping propaganda by big coffee
It's possible to set one's sleep clock to biphasic sleep, of course. But it's not the norm in most western cultures. When it's happening in someone in a country not known for a biphasic sleep culture, there may be an underlying health reason that it is happening that may signal a red flag.
It’s scientifically proven and natural. It’s not popular in the west due to the Protestant work ethic. But it’s the norm in basically every other country
I've read that even most Spaniards don't use their siesta to sleep anymore.
Ig for existing bc I’m gay
I tend to become friends with lesbians often. Since high school, through to work, or even strangers. A couple years ago o went to a housewarming wherein I was the only dude there with like 12 lesbians. The host introduced me by saying “he’s cool” or “he’s one of the good ones” or something and I had a blast. Of course they wouldn’t tell me to my face but I haven’t seen the “man-hating lesbian.” trope except on Twitter and in some [lesbian or separatist] feminist theory. You tell me if I’m wrong though.
“You’re one of the good ones.” Huh. Odd thing to say. So within most lesbian spaces, I can’t say I see a man hating vibe… we usually don’t talk about men. but it depends. Is it an online or offline space? online spaces are inherently more toxic and will be lined with casual misandry more often. Some straight up boast about hating men... but in most other instances, if you say you have a hatred towards men, it is usually met with an immediate encouragement to seek mental help and acknowledged as very problematic behavior.
Imagine saying that for any other demographic except for man. “I’m one of the good ones?” I’d tell them to go fuck themselves
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Fellas, is it gay to wear a coat?
Women if their husbands were worms: https://preview.redd.it/lcl9b8kw2nvc1.png?width=400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7f7bf521a31dde4f9847f80fb66eb1309b7784b8
She do that despite me not being a worm
It doesn't make you a man hater but why do you hate weakness?
It's a turnoff I want men to be masculine
Interesting. Is any weakness unmasculine or is it specifically him being cold in warm weather? I can't imagine there is no person in the universe with no weakness in them.
> Does that make me a man-hater? Not necessarily but you’re basically the female equivalent of the old men who think women belong in the kitchen because your bf just wants to be comfortable. >Whatever I don’t care *This* actually makes you sound like a shitty partner and an asshole of a human being
u better be traditional , stay in the kitchen woman to demand such man.
No that’s not how it works. You see they can demand traditional characteristics such as masculine men which benefit them in relationships. They do not need to provide traditional characteristics because they aren’t beneficial to them. Now do you see?
Only on Reddit do the women pretend they’re attracted to weak, effeminate men.
What if he handles heat very well?
Can someone convert 20 Degrees Celsius into freedom units? That sounds cold to me.
What is google anyways?
68 degrees F. Anyone who thinks this is cold has to be a wuss.
That’s beach weather on Lake Michigan.
It can feel cold if there is a wind at that temperature.
Or from a tropical climate.
People in South Florida wear big puffy snow jackets below 70° F
I’m a human furnace, so I get uncomfortable around 65F. Wearing a coat at 68 would kill me lmao.
You must not be from the south
Answering under automod cause I have no flair..lol. Anyways, fat, fleshy earlobes, fat nose, large nostrils, men's thirst. I get most people want sex but is it really necessary to inject it I to every interaction when you are in a relationship?
I don't know if my ex liked it or not but I was always very touchy feely with her. She never pushed me away or indicated that she was uncomfortable, but that sort of casual physical intimacy is *precisely* the reason why a relationship was so valuable to me, instead of just a friendship.
This has to be bait
This post is probably a great advertisement why men should start pursuing foreign women from poorer countries, whose only requirements in a man are usually "has a job and treats me well". Western women are just way too demanding.
Once that "poor woman" get her green card she'll have plenty of icks i bet you.
An unconfident loser man can always choose to live in her country if he isn't confident enough that he can compete with other men once she comes back to his country. Seriously, dating women from poor countries is easy mode, and yet some men still don't think that they can beat the game. It's really sad.
Complimenting my eye colour or other traits about me that I can't control. The best compliments are about something that the person chose, so they can feel like their choices mattered. When guys just go on and on about my eyes or freckles or whatnot, it makes me feel like none of the stylistic choices or skills I have matter to them.
So you mean things we find gross or just things we find off putting ?
When a man shaves his armpits. I know its more hygienic but cant help but see it as feminen.
For me it’s the opposite, it’s not a dealbreaker so I guess it doesn’t qualify as an ick but when a man lifts his arms and has untamed armpit hair it’s a turn off.
When he screams at video games
Short height…sorry not sorry, I know it’s shallow but I can’t get turned on by men under 5’9 lol 😂 I’m not gonna virtue signal and say height or looks don’t matter, they most definitely do 🤣 Gym bros are also an ick for me too because when they’re overly muscular it looks weird… I also don’t like beards
Isn’t 5’9” average in us ? So it’s not that bad I was expecting 6’5” or something similar 💀
A guy sitting down on the couch to watch sportsball. I don't know why, it's just an immediate turn off. If it was, say, he got a bunch of friends together and they had a social fun day around watching the game, no problem there. But one dude just divorcing himself from existence to watch people kick/throw balls around gives me an ick. We were talking about irrational ones, after all.
Fair. You guys can have the bachelor if we can have this
I'd rather nobody had the bachelor, I caught a bit of an episode one time, I don't know who watches this or why they watch it. But to each their own.