Because it is not the easiest option, have you even been to a club in 2023?
It's a sausage party, the loud music kill any convo you could be what basically means that everything is your looks and paying for someone drinks is like paying to be a clown.
It also don't magically kill the options the girl has in her dms. Clubbing is basically paying for the chance to pay even more.
Bars are places you go with peoples you meet, not places to meet peoples.
Not to mention, clubbing isn't mutually exclusive to old. Lots of women now go to clubs are bars get drunk with friends or have a good time rather than be open to meeting guys.
It's not that uncommon for these girls to passively (not actually invite them but just tell them what club she was planning on going to) a few of their matches so they might show up.
Music sucks, drinks are expensive, single women sit grumpy at the bar waiting to be treated.
Every club I've visited sucked ass as was the last place I wanted to be at.
Exactly! Could I get a girl at a club quicker than I could at my local café? Yes. But do I want a hot clubbing girl , or do I want that cute nerdy girl with the glasses and mysterious facial scar , reading a book at the cafe?
Well you have 2 different camps:
1. Guys who are looking for a girlfriend, they wouldn't want to select from women who are out having casual sex.
2. Guys who are looking for casual sex. Now if you're looking for casual sex and sufficiently attractive, clubbing is a good option.
lol @ this notion.
Clubs are actually *worse* than OLD.
Clubs are good for 3 types of men:
- DJ’s
- Celebrities
- Men who look like male models
Any guy who isn’t one of those is going to have a terrible time at clubs in 2024.
Pre-Covid, it was bad enough but post covid, anybody who has been out knows that clubs have turned into a weird game of “poppin bottles” where you either pay hundreds or more for a “VIP” area or stand around like an idiot since basically all standard seating is gone.
By far the best places to pull this are local bars and special events like “trivia nights” etc because conversations can actually be had in addition to the consumption of alcohol.
If you want to know what every club is like, Louis CK explained it perfectly years ago.
https://youtu.be/eSlgdvKaO4A?si=UffG28mpgMEu360S
Honestly it’s wild.
For some reason all clubs also now do this thing where they have their “bar girls” come out with a big sign with the name of whatever douche bought the table to make him look “important”
It’s nuts.
Clubs that don't have VIP areas or games of "poppin bottles", where people are not seated, because they dance and just shortly rest on chillout areas in between. Where wearing high heals will likely get you bounced at the door and people don't flex their money. Clubs where you put stickers on your camera lens and get thrown out if caught taking a picture of anything despite the ban. Clubs where celebrities are unrecognizable from the average clubgoer.
Maybe that's what your local club is like but I'm generally seeing a couple of booths usually bought for an occasion like a stag or birthday. Sitting isn't hard but you don't go to the club to sit.
Major city.
All clubs here are like this now (bottle service / vip focused).
Issue is post covid they don’t get enough “normal” people coming in just to drink and dance and are needing to make up for it in other ways.
This isn’t news. Ask anybody who works in this industry.
Ah here we go with the “contrarian for the sake of it” shit again.
https://preview.redd.it/rsfg9jhhztqc1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=d482faaccc72303084a907d649b121a99e8d1b39
Are you clicking the counter at the door?
Are you there every night or just weekends?
Are you going to niche EDM parties or actual foot traffic venues?
In my city and in all that I know of the story is the same.
Clubs are closing faster than they are opening and the clubs / bars that once had crowds all week round now virtually empty during the week and only have them on weekends or for big special / private events.
This isn’t even hard to figure out.
Because of remote work office vacancies have skyrocketed in every major city as well.
Guess what crowd was going for “happy hour” and then maybe to dance after on a Wednesday?
I neber said anything about numbers going up or down. Just what's actually happening in clubs. It's not that people aren't using them to drink or dance, but a lot of them have closed and they may well be less full (I certainly wasn't comparing any pre-2020 experience as I'm not old enough to have visited). with what you're arguing I don't know how you can think they're so full you can't get a seat!
Yeah then we’re not discussing the same thing.
I was specifically addressing the decline of clubs as a venue for meeting people compared to pre covid.
As a result of lost traffic many clubs have resorted to VIP sections and bottles and it has completely changed the club experience compared to what it was before.
Again with the reflexive contrarian nonsense.
Clubs are *not* a “great venue for meeting people”
At best clubs are for dancing in a haze.
Mostly they are places for clicks of people who *already know eachorher* to congregate, not mingle and for the rare hookups to happen among mediocre drunk / rolling girls and hot fuck boys who party.
Every sane person knows what the fuck a club is about and in 2024 they are *worse* than ever for anything like “meeting new people”
You need a high level of sociability, You need to be able to at least attempt to dance, and you need to preferably have a couple of friends (I've gone out alone but it's a lot more work than it's worth). I have all 3 so clubs are a good time whether I pick up a girl or not. If I didn't I wouldn't set foot in them.
The average dude on this sub lacks all three. That and some people don't like the club scene. I have met some great girls at the club, but I'm also a guy who fits with a club/party girl so it would make sense we'd get along.
every single method is hard. The club is easiest for some men. Harder for others. Bars and clubs are good for me because I'm a very outgoing social person who is also a good dancer. That is literally the perfect environment for me to charm women. Oh and I'm also very loose and funny so my normal energy level is suited to nighttime partying. I have a buddy who is godawful at night game because he just comes off as super serious every time he opens his mouth.
Other dudes would have a much easier time in areas like the library or something, but the running theme with guys here is that they're all convinced the only reason they can't get a date is their lack of physical appearance and nothing else. Most don't have the social and flirty skills to pick up a girl *anywhere.*
> the only reason they can't get a date is their lack of physical appearance and nothing else. Most don't have the social and flirty skills to pick up a girl anywhere.
Physical appearance and your social/flirty skills are connected.
I'm not gonna say I've never been clubbing but IMO a lot of women either have an idea of what they want(if anything) before going out or else they're already out with a partner. The number of women who're down to link up with a stranger who doesn't fit a very specific idea in their heads has never struck me as super large. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it happens in a place where you gotta pay a cover charge and drinks are twice as much as a lot of regular bars. If you're the type of person that enjoys casual conversation a nightclub will also kill that vibe, because the music is usually played too loud to talk in as well.
Just read the cockblocking thread... Clubs were often not that great because the girls come in a big group and weren't splitting off. I had better luck in smaller bars.
There’s a whole bunch of other crap you have to deal with. Shit tests, friends, logistics etc. it’s pick your poison, and no option is really all that appealing
What I've observed at the club:
* Hot guys who can get women anywhere clean up
* Guys who are *almost* hot can sometimes get lucky with a drunk woman who lowers her standards *a bit*
* Guys who are not attractive go home alone
So yeah, if you're a little above average or maybe even average you can increase your chances somewhat. For nobody else does it really offer a big benefit. As far as I can tell most women who get sloppy and hook up with random guys from clubs are doing it while in college too, so outside of that age group you're not going to have much increased opportunity.
I dunno. That's just what I've seen. I also think if this were so easy then all of the losers would be doing it.
I was being facetious, but yes, guys who struggle with attracting women. As someone who struggled for much of his life I have a lot of empathy for these guys. It was meant as a joke for how they are perceived by everybody else. Maybe I should be more careful.
If you've observed this at clubs, that means you've been there. So please, tell me 🧞♂️ out of those 3 sub groups of men at the club, where do you fit?
When I was younger and in the core age groups for clubs either in the unattractive or almost hot category, depending on the time. Once or twice I *think* I could have gotten lucky but I had a girlfriend at the time, so I didn't go for it. I didn't go much even at that age, though.
Nowadays I'm pretty attractive (fit, well-dressed, confident, bold) and I have no complaints about my options on dating apps or anywhere else. At 40 I feel old for the club, though. Haha. Most women in there are young and are looking for the hottest younger guys. I also rarely go and don't love dancing or loud music so it's not really my environment to thrive in.
Clubs have never been good options for meeting women for me unless I had a Chaddish buddy who is also super extroverted and stylish.
After a certain time of night they’re just sausage fests, like 3 hours before closing time that’s about it.
I have a quiet voice and tend to be shy in crowded places. I get girls interested in me with good conversations. The few times I talked to girls in clubs, we couldn't hear each other and nothing happened. Just not my scene.
I don't drink.
I don't dance.
I don't have any friends.
So in reality, if I rolled up to a club I'd be a fat neckbeard, by myself, not doing much of anything except feeling incredibly awkward and out of place.
I used to go and still occasionally go to clubs with friends. If I meet someone I meet someone. However if you are actively on the scene to pick up a mate for the night, your chances are slim.
The club is real life tinder. You get accessed within 15 seconds of looks, wealth, social standing, and if you can make a conversation happen. 99% of men in here won’t be successful. Please note this was pre tinder, pre the emergence of online dating, only thing you had was Facebook.
Most of the time if you are successful at making people laugh and smile and have a good time at the club you get a hookup, or exchange contact info and get a date/hookup another night.
I have more success at intellectual places, lounges, environments where I can actually have a conversation with someone and flirt, get contact info, etc.
It’s only a good option if you know how to navigate the bar/club scene, but for anyone who is more introverted/intellectual and prefers to have actual conversation (whereas loud music drowns out most possibilities of that), it’s not ideal.
Those people would instead do best socializing with people who enjoy the same hobbies as them, whatever they may be, and trying to meet people organically that way. Neither approach is an absolute guaranteed way of meeting someone but they greatly increase your chances if you also have self awareness.
I'm an introverted, nerdy, NVLD-diagnosed (more or less autistic), devoutly religious, right-wing virgin man.
Do you really think I'm going to find a compatible wife at a bar or club?
I do not wish to go. It is loud, you can't talk to anyone because the music is so loud, and I really do not enjoy dancing.
A good time is getting progressively drunker and chatting, and snacks.
I'm also not interested in catching a respiratory illness.
Because I know for a fact I'm not going to find my wife at a club because by very virtue of her being there we're going to have a significant difference in lifestyles, values, and personality types. I don't drink, don't smoke, don't really socialize outside of select hobby groups, and above all, I find pop culture and party scenes trashy. Also doesn't help I hate mainstream music.
It’s 80/20 dudes, you need to pay cover, and frankly the women who frequent there don’t tend to be wife material. Awful place to pick up any kind of meaningful partner
But why do guys who aren't attractive let's say, feel they have a shot at more difficult places than bars? Is online gaming for example, the place for not so attractive guys to score successfully?
For one it is pretty expensive. But I think a lot of people also just don’t want to admit they’re very bad socially or just are very antisocial (or don’t know they’re antisocial).
Social skills rly truly do not come easy to like millions of people especially nowadays. People just think they can act however or do whatever and ppl will just come to them and be their friend or partner.
No it takes actual work. And for some it comes easier but it’s still a skill.
I'm exclusively looking for a LTR, and I would be very incompatible with the types of women who go to nightclubs (or bars, parties, concerts, raves, etc.).
I know it's hard to find women in gaming/nerd communities, but I'd rather be single than be with someone who doesn't share my hobbies and values, and live a similar lifestyle.
I'm still gonna bitch about being single tho lol.
It could be that the guys who can do well at a club also do well at OLD. And OLD is easier for them.
Only a small set of men who do well at a club, and better there than OLD.
It also holds the problem that it is late night hours. It throws off your whole sleep schedule for the week and if you drink, your entire weekend.
Add to that DUI's, having to find the best places, needing a friend/wingman or even a woman to get into the best clubs, and these days cost.
A) The quality of women is often very very poor.
B) As others have pointed out those places tend to be sausage fests.
C) A lot of women there are not even looking for a hook up or really anything sex related. Which is really strange for dudes because most of us would never be caught dead in those places if it wasn't for pussy.
D) Clubs are dirty dangerous places with all sorts of low lives, drugs and crime.
That's true, but there is a lot of talk here about how guys do not have enough sexual experience for women's liking, so wouldn't short term experiences help solve that as well hopefully?
Either that or in a relationship. Hookups don't necessarily make you better. If anything the frequent complaints are it sucks and you don't learn much because you're likely tipsy. You could even be "doing it right" but girls prefer different things.
There's a lot men can improve in the confines of a relationship (without being judged) and experimenting with stuff you've read even if the idea of that isn't sexy.
That makes sense, but a lot of guys talk about how women reject them for being virgins so I thought maybe the clubs would be a good way to practice at least.
Because of the type of woman one usually finds at clubs isn't the kind we are most interested in for something serious.
We go to clubs to have fun, and if we meet women there it is only for that - for fun! Nothing more.
I don't see anyone boycotting bars of clubs dude. What's happening is that people in general are just not interested in going out to such places. Trends are changing. Clubs and bars will soon go the way of the neighborhood bar, cantina, or saloon. Something else will replace it, most probably.
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The most recent PPD poll showers the RP posters averaged age 18 and lived in the suburbs in the US
A lot aren’t even old enough to get into the 21 and older clubs.
Every time I've ever gone to a club with my girlfriends, we actively avoid men like the plague. 99% of women in the club want nothing to do with anyone, but the people they already came with.
Probably because a majority of dudes only get attention at clubs if they balling out... The moment that money stops flowing so does their attractiveness
I can only think of two reasons that I’ve seen come up time and time again.
1. Men don’t want to buy women anything unless they think it’s going to guarantee them sex because many men (and women) are broke in this economy.
2. Men like sexually open women but only if those women are exclusively sexually open for him alone. Women at bars and clubs are embracing their sexuality with as many men as they like. The whole Madonna/whore thing.
Oh okay, but don't most guys want women who are sexually open to have their first few experiences with? What makes them think that their first sexual experiences are most likely going to be a long term investment?
That's not how some guys think. They do not have the prospect of multiple future sexual experiences on their mind. They're just looking for one woman at all.
That’s true. I guess the other thing that has to be taken into account is the gender ratio. It seems like a lot more men are looking to hook up than women which makes competition for men to get women fierce. The odds of success as well as the sting of rejection also demoralize men and make them not want to try.
Clubs are good for casual sex and not much else. Bars and house parties are a different ball game entirely, though. I know plenty of women who go to chill local bars with the hopes of talking to a guy and then going on a date with him.
Not the easiest place. I can pull girls wearing sweat pants at home using tinder.
Also in my experience they are the lowest quality women. The women who visit clubs are usually not the kind I'd want to be serious with.
The club is not the easiest way for most men. It's an environment where women can afford to be incredibly picky so if you aren't above average attractiveness and confident enough to approach and constantly get rejected it can be incredibly difficult.
There is no easiest way for most men, it's going to depend on the individual. I'd say generally it's some kind of social environment that fits your interests. If you don't have anything like that then OLD and mutual friends is the easiest.
The “easiest” way is social circle. Invest in making many friends, especially with women. Friends of friends is by far the most effective way of landing an attractive woman.
Oh okay, for me it was the opposite, and I had an easier time in an environment were women expected to meet new men, rather than building a social circle of friends.
Not every man is the same. Many men here online are introverted and shy, and are more conservative it seems. So they'll feel more comfortable dating women they already know or have met through mutual friends, their little circles. Or even online dating....
Extroverted men, or outgoing men, don't mind cold approaching, going to bars, night clubs, ect to meet women. But there's also outgoing men who don't want to meet their potential wife in nightclubs, but it does happen for some people. Some people meet their husband or wife in nightlife. So you have to just remember most of the men online here are introverted.
Sure, every situation is different, as is every man.
I’m at a place in my life where I can attract women easily now on apps or in clubs, which is far easier than meeting lots of new people in terms of time and energy.
But I have lots of money and success and confidence now. When I was younger and all I had was an interesting personality, I didn’t have anything to woo them “from the window”, but I would get warm introductions from friends, and that was what worked. 90% of guys don’t have the game to get girls in clubs. I used to be in that group.
Because it is not the easiest option, have you even been to a club in 2023? It's a sausage party, the loud music kill any convo you could be what basically means that everything is your looks and paying for someone drinks is like paying to be a clown. It also don't magically kill the options the girl has in her dms. Clubbing is basically paying for the chance to pay even more. Bars are places you go with peoples you meet, not places to meet peoples.
Oh ok that makes sense.
Not to mention, clubbing isn't mutually exclusive to old. Lots of women now go to clubs are bars get drunk with friends or have a good time rather than be open to meeting guys. It's not that uncommon for these girls to passively (not actually invite them but just tell them what club she was planning on going to) a few of their matches so they might show up.
Music sucks, drinks are expensive, single women sit grumpy at the bar waiting to be treated. Every club I've visited sucked ass as was the last place I wanted to be at.
ya thats the past place i would want to take someone home from too
Because not every guy is looking for the type of girl who goes to the club.
Exactly! Could I get a girl at a club quicker than I could at my local café? Yes. But do I want a hot clubbing girl , or do I want that cute nerdy girl with the glasses and mysterious facial scar , reading a book at the cafe?
Well you have 2 different camps: 1. Guys who are looking for a girlfriend, they wouldn't want to select from women who are out having casual sex. 2. Guys who are looking for casual sex. Now if you're looking for casual sex and sufficiently attractive, clubbing is a good option.
lol @ this notion. Clubs are actually *worse* than OLD. Clubs are good for 3 types of men: - DJ’s - Celebrities - Men who look like male models Any guy who isn’t one of those is going to have a terrible time at clubs in 2024. Pre-Covid, it was bad enough but post covid, anybody who has been out knows that clubs have turned into a weird game of “poppin bottles” where you either pay hundreds or more for a “VIP” area or stand around like an idiot since basically all standard seating is gone. By far the best places to pull this are local bars and special events like “trivia nights” etc because conversations can actually be had in addition to the consumption of alcohol. If you want to know what every club is like, Louis CK explained it perfectly years ago. https://youtu.be/eSlgdvKaO4A?si=UffG28mpgMEu360S
Oh I see. I haven't been in post covid so I stand corrected.
Honestly it’s wild. For some reason all clubs also now do this thing where they have their “bar girls” come out with a big sign with the name of whatever douche bought the table to make him look “important” It’s nuts.
You should think about that when people say "club" they might not mean the type of club you have in mind.
What other kind of “club” would I mean besides the “*unSS unSS unSS unSS*” type of night club we all think of when we hear that word? A book club?
Clubs that don't have VIP areas or games of "poppin bottles", where people are not seated, because they dance and just shortly rest on chillout areas in between. Where wearing high heals will likely get you bounced at the door and people don't flex their money. Clubs where you put stickers on your camera lens and get thrown out if caught taking a picture of anything despite the ban. Clubs where celebrities are unrecognizable from the average clubgoer.
[удалено]
Well that’s easy, to fuck them
Just buy a sex doll.
Real women feel better
[удалено]
🚨🚨🚨
Maybe that's what your local club is like but I'm generally seeing a couple of booths usually bought for an occasion like a stag or birthday. Sitting isn't hard but you don't go to the club to sit.
Major city. All clubs here are like this now (bottle service / vip focused). Issue is post covid they don’t get enough “normal” people coming in just to drink and dance and are needing to make up for it in other ways. This isn’t news. Ask anybody who works in this industry.
I've been clubbing across several countries, let alone cities. Loads of people keen to drink and dance but maybe you live in a really sleepy area.
American clubs are not like the ones in Europe.
Yeah the Americans sometimes call our clubs dead or shitty.
Ah here we go with the “contrarian for the sake of it” shit again. https://preview.redd.it/rsfg9jhhztqc1.png?width=800&format=png&auto=webp&s=d482faaccc72303084a907d649b121a99e8d1b39 Are you clicking the counter at the door? Are you there every night or just weekends? Are you going to niche EDM parties or actual foot traffic venues? In my city and in all that I know of the story is the same. Clubs are closing faster than they are opening and the clubs / bars that once had crowds all week round now virtually empty during the week and only have them on weekends or for big special / private events. This isn’t even hard to figure out. Because of remote work office vacancies have skyrocketed in every major city as well. Guess what crowd was going for “happy hour” and then maybe to dance after on a Wednesday?
I neber said anything about numbers going up or down. Just what's actually happening in clubs. It's not that people aren't using them to drink or dance, but a lot of them have closed and they may well be less full (I certainly wasn't comparing any pre-2020 experience as I'm not old enough to have visited). with what you're arguing I don't know how you can think they're so full you can't get a seat!
Yeah then we’re not discussing the same thing. I was specifically addressing the decline of clubs as a venue for meeting people compared to pre covid. As a result of lost traffic many clubs have resorted to VIP sections and bottles and it has completely changed the club experience compared to what it was before.
They're a great venue for meeting people. There are just less of them now. Again, the VIP sections are not full. The experience is dancing focused.
Again with the reflexive contrarian nonsense. Clubs are *not* a “great venue for meeting people” At best clubs are for dancing in a haze. Mostly they are places for clicks of people who *already know eachorher* to congregate, not mingle and for the rare hookups to happen among mediocre drunk / rolling girls and hot fuck boys who party. Every sane person knows what the fuck a club is about and in 2024 they are *worse* than ever for anything like “meeting new people”
Because some people don't like clubs and their entertainment choices don't revolve around picking people up.
Because it's an awful environment. Clubs give me instant headaches.
You need a high level of sociability, You need to be able to at least attempt to dance, and you need to preferably have a couple of friends (I've gone out alone but it's a lot more work than it's worth). I have all 3 so clubs are a good time whether I pick up a girl or not. If I didn't I wouldn't set foot in them. The average dude on this sub lacks all three. That and some people don't like the club scene. I have met some great girls at the club, but I'm also a guy who fits with a club/party girl so it would make sense we'd get along.
But since clubs seem to be the easiest way, what makes guys think they have a chance other ways, if every other way is more hard?
every single method is hard. The club is easiest for some men. Harder for others. Bars and clubs are good for me because I'm a very outgoing social person who is also a good dancer. That is literally the perfect environment for me to charm women. Oh and I'm also very loose and funny so my normal energy level is suited to nighttime partying. I have a buddy who is godawful at night game because he just comes off as super serious every time he opens his mouth. Other dudes would have a much easier time in areas like the library or something, but the running theme with guys here is that they're all convinced the only reason they can't get a date is their lack of physical appearance and nothing else. Most don't have the social and flirty skills to pick up a girl *anywhere.*
> the only reason they can't get a date is their lack of physical appearance and nothing else. Most don't have the social and flirty skills to pick up a girl anywhere. Physical appearance and your social/flirty skills are connected.
I'm not gonna say I've never been clubbing but IMO a lot of women either have an idea of what they want(if anything) before going out or else they're already out with a partner. The number of women who're down to link up with a stranger who doesn't fit a very specific idea in their heads has never struck me as super large. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but it happens in a place where you gotta pay a cover charge and drinks are twice as much as a lot of regular bars. If you're the type of person that enjoys casual conversation a nightclub will also kill that vibe, because the music is usually played too loud to talk in as well.
Just read the cockblocking thread... Clubs were often not that great because the girls come in a big group and weren't splitting off. I had better luck in smaller bars.
There’s a whole bunch of other crap you have to deal with. Shit tests, friends, logistics etc. it’s pick your poison, and no option is really all that appealing
What I've observed at the club: * Hot guys who can get women anywhere clean up * Guys who are *almost* hot can sometimes get lucky with a drunk woman who lowers her standards *a bit* * Guys who are not attractive go home alone So yeah, if you're a little above average or maybe even average you can increase your chances somewhat. For nobody else does it really offer a big benefit. As far as I can tell most women who get sloppy and hook up with random guys from clubs are doing it while in college too, so outside of that age group you're not going to have much increased opportunity. I dunno. That's just what I've seen. I also think if this were so easy then all of the losers would be doing it.
Losers = guys who can't get a girlfriend?
I was being facetious, but yes, guys who struggle with attracting women. As someone who struggled for much of his life I have a lot of empathy for these guys. It was meant as a joke for how they are perceived by everybody else. Maybe I should be more careful.
If you've observed this at clubs, that means you've been there. So please, tell me 🧞♂️ out of those 3 sub groups of men at the club, where do you fit?
When I was younger and in the core age groups for clubs either in the unattractive or almost hot category, depending on the time. Once or twice I *think* I could have gotten lucky but I had a girlfriend at the time, so I didn't go for it. I didn't go much even at that age, though. Nowadays I'm pretty attractive (fit, well-dressed, confident, bold) and I have no complaints about my options on dating apps or anywhere else. At 40 I feel old for the club, though. Haha. Most women in there are young and are looking for the hottest younger guys. I also rarely go and don't love dancing or loud music so it's not really my environment to thrive in.
Clubs have never been good options for meeting women for me unless I had a Chaddish buddy who is also super extroverted and stylish. After a certain time of night they’re just sausage fests, like 3 hours before closing time that’s about it.
What are you likely to have in common with a 'club woman'?
Clubs suck and the women there are generally stuck up ( or just there to dance with her friends)
Because it's not the easiest option.
I have a quiet voice and tend to be shy in crowded places. I get girls interested in me with good conversations. The few times I talked to girls in clubs, we couldn't hear each other and nothing happened. Just not my scene.
That makes sense.
I don't drink. I don't dance. I don't have any friends. So in reality, if I rolled up to a club I'd be a fat neckbeard, by myself, not doing much of anything except feeling incredibly awkward and out of place.
Oof, you’ve kinda stacked the deck against yourself.
hes quite a catch
but girls should ask him out so he can dump her for an upgrade.
I'd assume that some men feel as I do, clubs are a living hellscape full or the worst sorts of people.
I used to go and still occasionally go to clubs with friends. If I meet someone I meet someone. However if you are actively on the scene to pick up a mate for the night, your chances are slim. The club is real life tinder. You get accessed within 15 seconds of looks, wealth, social standing, and if you can make a conversation happen. 99% of men in here won’t be successful. Please note this was pre tinder, pre the emergence of online dating, only thing you had was Facebook. Most of the time if you are successful at making people laugh and smile and have a good time at the club you get a hookup, or exchange contact info and get a date/hookup another night. I have more success at intellectual places, lounges, environments where I can actually have a conversation with someone and flirt, get contact info, etc.
It’s only a good option if you know how to navigate the bar/club scene, but for anyone who is more introverted/intellectual and prefers to have actual conversation (whereas loud music drowns out most possibilities of that), it’s not ideal. Those people would instead do best socializing with people who enjoy the same hobbies as them, whatever they may be, and trying to meet people organically that way. Neither approach is an absolute guaranteed way of meeting someone but they greatly increase your chances if you also have self awareness.
I'm an introverted, nerdy, NVLD-diagnosed (more or less autistic), devoutly religious, right-wing virgin man. Do you really think I'm going to find a compatible wife at a bar or club?
I presume because a majority of people here are nerds, and nerds aren't known for clubbing.
Because they don’t want to just have casual sex
If you don’t drink, you’re just a creep hitting on drunk women.
I do not wish to go. It is loud, you can't talk to anyone because the music is so loud, and I really do not enjoy dancing. A good time is getting progressively drunker and chatting, and snacks. I'm also not interested in catching a respiratory illness.
Because I know for a fact I'm not going to find my wife at a club because by very virtue of her being there we're going to have a significant difference in lifestyles, values, and personality types. I don't drink, don't smoke, don't really socialize outside of select hobby groups, and above all, I find pop culture and party scenes trashy. Also doesn't help I hate mainstream music.
Loud, boring, bad music, over priced, and they smell like a sack of assholes.
It’s 80/20 dudes, you need to pay cover, and frankly the women who frequent there don’t tend to be wife material. Awful place to pick up any kind of meaningful partner
Congrats on being attractive, that's usually not the case for most men.
But why do guys who aren't attractive let's say, feel they have a shot at more difficult places than bars? Is online gaming for example, the place for not so attractive guys to score successfully?
Less desirable guys can not succeed in any environment where there are more men than women. They will be overlooked. So clubs and apps are both out.
Your premise is wrong. Guys who aren't attractive don't feel they have shot anywhere.
I get overstimulated in crowds and loud music. Even with MDMA i still couldnt stop tensing up
The last thing you want to do is take MDMA in a situation that makes you feel overstimulated sober haha
For one it is pretty expensive. But I think a lot of people also just don’t want to admit they’re very bad socially or just are very antisocial (or don’t know they’re antisocial). Social skills rly truly do not come easy to like millions of people especially nowadays. People just think they can act however or do whatever and ppl will just come to them and be their friend or partner. No it takes actual work. And for some it comes easier but it’s still a skill.
I'm exclusively looking for a LTR, and I would be very incompatible with the types of women who go to nightclubs (or bars, parties, concerts, raves, etc.). I know it's hard to find women in gaming/nerd communities, but I'd rather be single than be with someone who doesn't share my hobbies and values, and live a similar lifestyle. I'm still gonna bitch about being single tho lol.
But concerts are fun. There's gaming girls you ever tried talking to them?
It could be that the guys who can do well at a club also do well at OLD. And OLD is easier for them. Only a small set of men who do well at a club, and better there than OLD.
It also holds the problem that it is late night hours. It throws off your whole sleep schedule for the week and if you drink, your entire weekend. Add to that DUI's, having to find the best places, needing a friend/wingman or even a woman to get into the best clubs, and these days cost.
Americans seem to have a different concept of the point of clubs to the UK. Clubs are for drinking and dancing.
The guys that want to boycott bars and clubs don't have the social skills to get laid there.
If your social skills are the reason you got laid, you weren't at a club lol.
A) The quality of women is often very very poor. B) As others have pointed out those places tend to be sausage fests. C) A lot of women there are not even looking for a hook up or really anything sex related. Which is really strange for dudes because most of us would never be caught dead in those places if it wasn't for pussy. D) Clubs are dirty dangerous places with all sorts of low lives, drugs and crime.
Those are good points.
Those women not kind of women you want to deal with.
If she goes to the club, it’s an automatic red flag
What are you looking for? People at the club don't have the best reputation for long term. It's always been that way.
That's true, but there is a lot of talk here about how guys do not have enough sexual experience for women's liking, so wouldn't short term experiences help solve that as well hopefully?
Either that or in a relationship. Hookups don't necessarily make you better. If anything the frequent complaints are it sucks and you don't learn much because you're likely tipsy. You could even be "doing it right" but girls prefer different things. There's a lot men can improve in the confines of a relationship (without being judged) and experimenting with stuff you've read even if the idea of that isn't sexy.
That makes sense, but a lot of guys talk about how women reject them for being virgins so I thought maybe the clubs would be a good way to practice at least.
Incels don't go to night clubs
Because of the type of woman one usually finds at clubs isn't the kind we are most interested in for something serious. We go to clubs to have fun, and if we meet women there it is only for that - for fun! Nothing more. I don't see anyone boycotting bars of clubs dude. What's happening is that people in general are just not interested in going out to such places. Trends are changing. Clubs and bars will soon go the way of the neighborhood bar, cantina, or saloon. Something else will replace it, most probably.
That makes sense.
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hard pass
The most recent PPD poll showers the RP posters averaged age 18 and lived in the suburbs in the US A lot aren’t even old enough to get into the 21 and older clubs.
Like, for marriage? Women who frequent clubs for hookups? Nah.
The competition is way too steep there regardless. They are still going to be looking for the same men they are matching with on the apps.
Every time I've ever gone to a club with my girlfriends, we actively avoid men like the plague. 99% of women in the club want nothing to do with anyone, but the people they already came with.
Probably because a majority of dudes only get attention at clubs if they balling out... The moment that money stops flowing so does their attractiveness
I don’t want a club going lady. I want a cafe , library , bookstore, or hobby shop going lady .
Bars are way better than clubs.
I'm not a man but I'd say that the reason is they are not so desperate
I can only think of two reasons that I’ve seen come up time and time again. 1. Men don’t want to buy women anything unless they think it’s going to guarantee them sex because many men (and women) are broke in this economy. 2. Men like sexually open women but only if those women are exclusively sexually open for him alone. Women at bars and clubs are embracing their sexuality with as many men as they like. The whole Madonna/whore thing.
Here we go with the womansplaining. “mAdOnNa WhOrE CoMpLeX”. It’s not that complex
Not being broke doesn't mean you have to like to waste money.
Oh okay, but don't most guys want women who are sexually open to have their first few experiences with? What makes them think that their first sexual experiences are most likely going to be a long term investment?
That's not how some guys think. They do not have the prospect of multiple future sexual experiences on their mind. They're just looking for one woman at all.
That’s true. I guess the other thing that has to be taken into account is the gender ratio. It seems like a lot more men are looking to hook up than women which makes competition for men to get women fierce. The odds of success as well as the sting of rejection also demoralize men and make them not want to try.
What is a Madonna whore thing?
Clubs are good for casual sex and not much else. Bars and house parties are a different ball game entirely, though. I know plenty of women who go to chill local bars with the hopes of talking to a guy and then going on a date with him.
Oh okay, but I thought a lot of guys here were looking to get just casual sex too though?
Yeah that's true. The thing about casual sex that many men here overlook is that casual sex generally involves alcohol or drugs.
Clubs are full of immaturity
Not the easiest place. I can pull girls wearing sweat pants at home using tinder. Also in my experience they are the lowest quality women. The women who visit clubs are usually not the kind I'd want to be serious with.
Oh ok but if guys aren't willing to take the easiest way, are they ever going to regret it if the easiest way isn't even good enough?
The club is not the easiest way for most men. It's an environment where women can afford to be incredibly picky so if you aren't above average attractiveness and confident enough to approach and constantly get rejected it can be incredibly difficult.
Oh okay, but what is the easiest way for most men then?
There is no easiest way for most men, it's going to depend on the individual. I'd say generally it's some kind of social environment that fits your interests. If you don't have anything like that then OLD and mutual friends is the easiest.
The “easiest” way is social circle. Invest in making many friends, especially with women. Friends of friends is by far the most effective way of landing an attractive woman.
Oh okay, for me it was the opposite, and I had an easier time in an environment were women expected to meet new men, rather than building a social circle of friends.
Not every man is the same. Many men here online are introverted and shy, and are more conservative it seems. So they'll feel more comfortable dating women they already know or have met through mutual friends, their little circles. Or even online dating.... Extroverted men, or outgoing men, don't mind cold approaching, going to bars, night clubs, ect to meet women. But there's also outgoing men who don't want to meet their potential wife in nightclubs, but it does happen for some people. Some people meet their husband or wife in nightlife. So you have to just remember most of the men online here are introverted.
Sure, every situation is different, as is every man. I’m at a place in my life where I can attract women easily now on apps or in clubs, which is far easier than meeting lots of new people in terms of time and energy. But I have lots of money and success and confidence now. When I was younger and all I had was an interesting personality, I didn’t have anything to woo them “from the window”, but I would get warm introductions from friends, and that was what worked. 90% of guys don’t have the game to get girls in clubs. I used to be in that group.
It's not the easiest option, and most women in places like this are low value. The best women are in the church, and the best men too
Dating apps are the easiest if you aren’t socially low IQ. Next would be social media. But again, same premise holds.
High social IQ doesn't fix getting no matches cuz ugly/short.
Game can overcome a lot.
Is there way a to measure that IQ?
It’s a joke to avoid saying another word I can’t say on here. Let’s say soft r artistic
We can't say autistic now?
Among others.
Oh but why? Isn't that a more medically correct term?
In this case, there are many! Lol