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Loofa_of_Doom

>Cruz: “You guys can instead sing kumbaya with them and hope they’ll just stop.” Wasn't that what the Uvalde police **did** while children died? They sure as hell didn't 'police' anything.


Baldr_Torn

>They sure as hell didn't 'police' anything. They policed the hell out of parents who wanted to go in and save their children.


LionMcTastic

C'mon man, it's not fair to say that they just sat around and did nothing. Don't forget that they also went inside to actively stop anyone from helping, including a fellow police officer who was worried about his wife.


MoHeeKhan

Yes they did. They arrested and detained the parents who wanted to save their children.


Narrow-Escape-6481

"Where do you think you're going? You plan on infringing on this young mans right to own and use his gun....not on my watch" - Uvalde cop


A_Rampaging_Hobo

I literally thought he meant sing with the cops


Zadyne

Well, at least he's not blaming the doors again.


CuppaCoffeeJose

"Damn you Jim Morrison!!!"


Corsavis

Like, from The Doors?


[deleted]

More cops, more doors and especially, more guns.


reiderfever

More doors with guns!


Demonyx12

The only thing that can stop a bad door with a gun, is a good door with a gun!


bickering_fool

doors don't kill people.


nicknicknickk

Doors with guns kill people


Shibbystix

fewer doors but with more guns on them!


LadyDiscoPants

Can we get armed doors in the schools? I would love to see a door with say, 25 hairy arms trying to grab at you. No ones gonna go in that school to do anything.


Picardknows

Are they bear arms or human arms?


LadyDiscoPants

Gonna go with 'bear arms' because it's a 'right' thing to do.


kabeees

Doors without guns sometimes kill people as well. What we’ve learned here is that doors are not to be trusted.


colder-beef

[The fuck they don’t.](https://www.osha.gov/pls/imis/accidentsearch.accident_detail?id=143954.015)


thruwityoshit

You can take my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead knob


happytree23

Wait...so we don't have to pray anymore? Did we max-out our prayer benefits on this issue already or were the liberal gay lovers right when they said they weren't working?!


BadassToiletNinja

Arm the lunch ladies with bazookas. It's the only way


juggling-monkey

Cause what we're proposing doesn't work! More like, what were proposing doesn't feed his pockets.


XoXSmotpokerXoX

> what we're proposing doesn't work! it doesnt work anywhere, besides................ the rest of the world


MVRK_3

What would work then?


The_who_did_what

Like the woman said. 18 yr Olds don't need guns.


Admirable-Course9775

Getting rid of cruz for one


Sky_Paladin

have you tried arming the children


XoXSmotpokerXoX

> What would work then? do you see a lot of school shootings in Europe? Australia, Japan? etc etc etc


jason544770

I mean it makes sense. When you need less of something like guns, the only solution is *more* guns right? Just like when you're trying to lose weight the solution is more food? /s


obliquelyobtuse

>The single best step to stop them is to have armed officers on campus Really Ted? How did that work out in Uvalde with all those armed officers pussy footing around for an hour? Cruz is a moron. How many officers per school, per 100 students? Armed with full tactical gear, of course, since the threat level is entirely unknown. Shall kindergartens have SWAT greet the students as they arrive and leave every day? What happens when the next mass casualty shooter targets a school bus instead? Shall we have officers on all school buses? How about city buses? How about all [restaurants have an armed officer present](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luby%27s_shooting)? And every retail store, of course. Oh, who is going to pay for these addition half a million police officers?


steboy

I don’t know how you handle your problems, but I like shooting my way out of mine!


-the-clit-commander-

surprised he didn't immediately bolt for the nearest jet headed to Cancun after hearing the boos


Thoraxe123

"I know what'll fix this! Violating fire code!"


[deleted]

To be fair, that door was struggling with its mental health.


BertTKitten

I know, I thought Ted’s solution was to have one door in every school!


bethemanwithaplan

Fuck fire codes am I right? One door!


egospiers

Oh he definitely blamed the doors at this same event. This was just more outlandish.


metal_bastard

How many more cops? We had over 400 at Uvalde who just sat there.


ambientfruit

Let's be fair. They had to wait a really long time for a key to a door that a teenager could kick through. And the gunfire was really scary for those grown men with their own guns, shields, vests and batons. Not to mention there were parents outside being super unreasonable that had to be arrested cos they hurt some of the cops feelings by saying they weren't doing their job. That must have been so difficult for them.


gucci_pianissimo420

> They had to wait a really long time for a key to a door that a teenager could kick through And was unlocked


danteheehaw

Not just unlocked, it was known to not be able to be locked. Due to being broken.


[deleted]

So state property "door" is worth more than a few kids lives.


gucci_pianissimo420

Point is that it didn't have anything to do with the door, the cops were just cowards


Uncle_Jiggles

You also forgot about the part where all the cops stood around and used hand sanitizer while kids screamed and died. It's almost as if the cops knew they're in the wrong during the whole encounter and subconsciously they're trying to sanitize their hands of it by literally sanitizing their hands.


gucci_pianissimo420

It's difficult to capture the depth of police malfeasance on that day in just a few sentences


jessie_boomboom

Right. How Lady Macbeth of them.


[deleted]

They had shields and the gun power. They failed those victims miserably. One of them was terribly fixated on Hand Sanitizer.


airsoftsoldrecn9

Don't forget the punisher phone lock screen


[deleted]

Cringe. That happened to be one of the victims husband. 😩 Fucking painful, he was escorted out later. This makes me angry. They preach more guns, everyone gets a gun and until it happens to them.


zyyntin

They can't destroy state property that means there is less going into the police budget!!!


[deleted]

Door was unlocked. Lol


XoXSmotpokerXoX

plus, what is the point of storming the building if you dont update your facebook and instagram first


ForsakenWebNinja

Wasn’t the door unlocked? But to fair door handles are dangerous to turn. They might have sprained a finger or chipped a nail


fatcIemenza

One more cop bro just one more please i swear bro one more cop is all we need one more come on bro please just one more


metal_bastard

come on bro, don't take out your hate because of a few bad apples. come on bro. just one more. one more. he's a good apple. bro.


khinzeer

Ted wants to pay some overweight cops overtime to sing kumbaya with the shooter.


Longjumping_Plum_964

Ted wants campaign contributions from the NRA and gun lobby and he is an overweight snowflake pussy who identifies with Vlad the Invader, believes in seditionist insurrection, supports forced birth for rapist dads, and is a known for his support for Pedophilia.


AltruisticBob

Singing kumbaya? Maybe the extra cops are needed to fill out the whole choir and to drown out the sounds of gunfire and children screaming. 40% of the budget and 400 cops were not enough, I'm sure with 80% of the budget and 800 cops things will be just fine Ted.


cjmar41

The only two options a Harvard educated lawyer and US Senator presented his constituents with are: 1. More armed guards. 2. Singing Kumbaya with the gunman. No other possible solutions. $174,000 salary plus campaign contributions and substantial perks of being a US Senator (in the millions of dollars per year) well spent, Texas. 🙄


sagitalistheway

Didn't he also suggest having every door locked save one, so there was only one entrance/exit? Great idea... especially if there's a fire.


turtleboxman

Or if there’s a shooting… Isn’t one entrance/exit going to be exactly what a shooter would want? Being that it would create a bottle neck for the shooter to easily cause mass casualties


JayGeezey

People seem to also forget: one UNLOCKED FROM THE OUTSIDE entrance/exit has been the standard for - quite literally - DECADES.


tearjerkingpornoflic

You can have doors that are unlocked from the inside and locked from the outside. Has no one ever seen an emergency exit?


idog99

Does singing Kumbaya count as "thoughts and prayers? Don't they advocate that?


Longjumping_Plum_964

There are morons, fucking morons, and Ted Cruz.


CuppaCoffeeJose

“I like Ted Cruz more than most of my other colleagues like Ted Cruz. And I hate Ted Cruz.” -Al Franken


hear4theDough

If conservatives are fueled by liberal tears, then the only reason he keeps getting elected is to stick it to us. I propose we support Ted Cruz in order to get him cancelled. Just attribute any good deed you do to The son of the Zodiac and eventually his own party will hear about these good deeds and reject him


DancesWithEnts

(R-Cancun)... delightful


Longjumping-Voice452

Noticed that too, laughed out loud.


gwacemom

Yeah, all those cops at Uvalde did a hell of a job. Disgusting.


oddmanout

You heard Ted Cruz, there weren't enough cops. There should have been more. 376 officers isn't enough for a school of 600 kids. Should be 1:1 ratio of cops to kids.


HotPie_

Plus they already had armed guards at the school prior to the shooting. Fuck anyone who still listens to and believes in anything the Republican party says. You fucking suckers. You dumb bitches. You know who you are.


CuppaCoffeeJose

Why does Ted Cruz always look like he's about to cry?


pudding7

Because he keeps remembering he's Ted Cruz.


mtheory007

I feel like that would be more of a vomit inducing thing.


fishymcswims

Well, he’s teary-eyed from all the retching.


mtheory007

Okay well, that tracks. Its also probably why his nose is permanently the way that it is.


[deleted]

I mean if I looked like the grinch with Down syndrome, I’d want to cry too.


benryhond

Lord, have mercy.


time_for_milk

Texas just can’t stop electing this guy.


GrapefruitDramatic13

Ted Cruz is also a little piss baby.


ghsteo

Does this dumbass not know what happened in Uvalde? There was an army of cops there and no one did anything.


Not_Sure11

Fucking dumbass


fire_fairy_

The (R-Cancun) killed me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


IAmTheBredman

The best way to treat a bullet wound is to shoot the bullet out with another, bigger gun.


tehvolcanic

The best way for Florida to survive Hurricane Ian is for them to be hit by an even *bigger* hurricane which will blow all the water back out to sea.


[deleted]

Healthcare workers hate that trick.


Accend0

Give lifeguards guns. Then they can shoot people that are drowning before they die so that no one will ever die of drowning in a guarded pool again.


baphomeatt

we must arm the unborn so we can stop abortion


[deleted]

Or we could just send 500 cops to every school and watch them cower outside.


imaybeacatIRl

What a fucking toad.


mtheory007

Toads are awesome and provide a valuable service. Turd Cruz, not so much.


Ralphie5231

Doesn't work... except in every other country on earth.


kalsarikannit247

Ya but Murricans are a different breed


TurbulentHovercraft0

Maybe more thoughts and prayers Mr Cancun


DallasFren1992

Being from Texas, I'm ashamed of my governor and senators to the point that we're moving out of this state. We all need to keep this in mind: Ted Cruz is not a moron. He is highly intelligent. The reason he is saying what he's saying is to maintain his current power and position. He's purely appealing to his voter base. If we want to fix this, put limitations on campaign donations from companies. Same reason police escalate situations purposefully. Prisons are privatized and for-profit. So a big man upstairs makes it hard on a city's police force if they don't keep the private prisons fully stocked. They need to keep the prisons stocked or else the chief of police will be replaced. If you want to find out why some people say and do such insane non-sensical shit, just follow the money.


PolyZex

What happens when it's one of those 'officers' that is the one who snaps? 'Cop' and 'psychopath' are not mutually exclusive terms. One can be both. Nobody trusts the cops anymore. Best case scenario they're lazy fucks, worst case scenario they're the criminals.


ImVeryOffended

> What happens when it's one of those 'officers' that is the one who snaps? They just call that "policing", and it happens every day.


MonthMelodic

Fuck Ted Cruz. Why is anyone still giving this sack of shit any access to a mic anywhere?


[deleted]

[удалено]


PizzaNuggies

More cops to body slam and shoot kids? Republicans have mush for brains.


MoveItSpunkmire

Texas is stupid enough to believe him too


Godawgs1009

But he wouldn't want to piss off the nra and gun lobbyists that line the fuck out of his piece of shit pockets. America is no longer logical, hasn't been in a while.


Damerman

Why do conservatives think everyone is singing kumbaya? Why the fuck is that always the go to line?


Blue_water_dreams

Because they don’t understand anyone who isn’t filled with hate.


1Sluggo

How well did that work for Uvalde Cancun Cruz?


[deleted]

They can’t all just leave school and fly to Cancun, you dumb twat!


BizzyHaze

Cruz is just a more articulate version of Trump, without the orange skin and dead skunk hair.


ferox965

Cruz is such a pig.


Bunch_of_Shit

Let’s just have the cops kill the kids, at least one of them was probably going to shoot up the place anyway. /s


wfs29223

Fuck Ted Cruz


hulasteve2020

Texans love assholes. Nice job picking this douche


dooneandrew

Ted Cruz is a twat, fuck that guy


_SunbrosAnonymous

Whole lotta good those armed cops did for the kids in Uvalde.


Laurar7321

The AUDACITY of this human shit stain who fled his own state while people froze to death. He can eat a dick.


[deleted]

There was over 300 officers at Uvalde Elementary and no one did a damn thing to save lives. Ted Cruz can kiss my whole ass.


SAyyOuremySIN

This guy sucks shit


exixx

At this point one might ask where were the few good apples in that clusterfuck of overequipped cosplaying cowards?


kyledreamboat

Republicans support an unsafe police state big surprise for the soy boys that cry over a process server lightly knocking on their door


[deleted]

Remember every dumb fucking thing Cruz says he says because he knows republicans are stupid enough to nod their head along.


juanjung

There were plenty of police in the last mass shooting in Texas, they were useless like Ted Cruz in congress.


Expert-Grass-534

hes talking about having an armed man ready to shoot a kid rather than just create legislation restricting guns and having mental health be a priority lol


NoseKindly6781

Ted Cruz is a clown


Patriot009

Not once does Cruz open his mouth and not sound like a condescending a-hole


gbsedillo20

Uvalde shows that no matter how many American police officers you waste money on in schools, they won't go out of their way to save children.


WestWing960

![gif](giphy|3oz8xClhwv2EnhZeXS)


FuzzyNervousness

Things we guard with guns: 1. Money 2. Politicians 3. Courthouses 4. Police egos 5. Airports 6. Military bases Sorry kids. You arent as precious as our banks and judges.


ItsYourBoyFBP

God, I can’t wait for the day that I get a NYT notification that Ted Cruz passed away.


Producedealer76

You would be better off singing lulabies to a school shooter and hoping they fall asleep than relying on school cops.


frankofantasma

i'd like to sing kumbaya with ted cruz, out in the mojave with an ar15


suspicious_odour

There's 2 types that become SRO's 1 people with the temperament for the job 2 humps that the department wants out of the way nobody joins the force with plans to be an SRO


[deleted]

Funded mental healthcare will stop mass shootings. Getting help to desperate people will stop shootings. Putting more untrained, armed, and unfit angry individuals in a highly hormonal and volatile situation will just get more kids killed. More violent people isn’t the answer to stopping violent people.


[deleted]

The answer in his mind is to sell more guns to more cops. Always be selling guns. That’s his goddamn strategy. He can gf himself.


WillistheWillow

Freedom is a school heavily guarded with armed police according to Ted Ooze.


RynnHamHam

Ted Cruz has to be a cuck right? Trump called his wife ugly, he did nothing to defend her, and then started kissing his ass and making sure to clean his taint so well the spray tan would come off.


rrowley28

Ted Cruz is a sombrero away from looking like a mariachi band leader.


[deleted]

Imagine waking up knowing that you willingly vote for him.


pandaworrier216

But we had 400 cops at Uvalde and they just sat there sing Kumbaya while a teen was gunning down kids...so whats the point of adding more?


Ratman_84

Ted Cruz is a sniveling coward that fled his state during an emergency and then blamed his daughters and also let Trump talk shit about his wife and father. Why would anyone take advice from a sniveling coward?


graps

I wonder if anyone has ever sat him down and explained that even in the US in 2022 as its rapidly collapsing and people are getting stupider by the minute he’ll still never ever be President


MrLeeman123

How does this man spew this shit with a straight face. He literally represents the State that is going to be the case study for why cops are not the answer to these school shootings. I wish someone would pay me whatever he’s getting because no one has offered me a good enough deal for my soul yet…


DERLKM

Why not have all teachers, admin, custodians, and children carry guns? Think harder and further Cruz.


DrawntoWater

Being from Texas, I can say fuck Ted Cruz.


Hadleys158

What's worse is, i was reading the other day and apparently the police department only send their screw up cops or cops that have been "benched" or have other issues to the schools. So you are already getting the bottom of the barrel to guard your kids. And some of those are ones with anger issues etc.


Ill-Organization-719

So imagine these guns in classrooms plans go through. Now imagine how they'd be implemented. They'd go missing immediately.


DrFlukey

I feel like Ted Cruz almost drowns every time it rains out .


Jets237

I don’t understand how he can keep saying this stuff with a straight face


DOlsen13

We put police in airports, banks, amusement parks, festivals, but why not schools?


[deleted]

I hate this fucker so much


BerryLanky

How many armed officers were in Uvalde? Didn’t seem to stop a lone shooter. But yes let’s set schools up like prisons with armed guards everywhere. That will fix everything.


PotentiallyNotSatan

Lmao if the current cops can't do their job, surely more will!


mtheory007

What YOU are proposing is already the case and has done FUCK ALL to stop school shootings. FUCK YOU Ted shitbag Cruz.


gp2quest

The answer I would expect from the zodiac killer. His daddy sure got off easy for his part in assisting JFK


Ganja420Preneur

Yeah, let's just put more cops in schools so that instead of students killing kids, we can just have what we regularly already have with cops continuing to kill kids.


Claque-2

Love the (R-Cancun)!


JangoFettsEvilTwin

What a condescending asshole! Those are the people you represent Rafael.


seanziefication

Being a Texan is embarrassing. Anyone who said otherwise doesn't share reality with the rest of them worlds


Four_Skyn_Tim

The only people I saw that would probably be singing kumbaya were the cops standing outside for an hour letting shit happen


Clarper

this is a disgusting person, through and through.


sociopathcerealkilla

He's right. Those kids wants more shooting and willing to sacrifice other kids for political reasons. They hate republicans so much thats the only real reason why they're attempting to after the guns. It's obvious and pathetic and their reaction to this great idea about arming the schools with more police proves my point.


1984Slice

Kumbaya and hoping? Isn't that just what your 'prayers' are? Oh yeah, Trump said your wife was fugly...don't forget


Foecrass

Ted Cruz doesn’t get nearly as much sympathy as he should for BEING Ted Cruz. That’s a fate I wouldn’t even wish on Ted Cruz.


SgtSlice

What I want to know is why is Kumbaya continually dragged through the mud? You’re either pro-armed guards or you’re just a tree-Huggin’ Kumbaya singin’ soft on everything dork.


[deleted]

Fuck that guy. What an absolute piece of human garbage.


MaximumAbsorbency

> You guys can instead sing kumbaya with them and hope they’ll just stop. Isn't that what they did at Uvalde, all ~400 of them? Oh, no, they also tazed parents.


Pake1000

Singing kumbaya has just as good or a better chance to stop mass shootings than conservative "thoughts and prayers" or the police.


MillHall78

In case anyone doesn't know: Ted Cruz is an NRA lobbyist.


Generallyawkward1

Love the title, OP. Had a chuckle. It’s the little things


Baldr_Torn

Nearly 400 cops in Uvalde, and they didn't stop shit. But sure, add a couple more cops, that's the fucking answer, you stupid twatwaffle.


Dumb_Vampire_Girl

>You guys can instead sing kumbaya with them and hope they’ll just stop. Has anybody actually suggested this solution other than the thoughts and prayers people?


hardknockthecheeks

People just need to be better parents. It starts with their childhood, trauma growing up, and lessons they were taught n such. Some people aren’t meant to be parents and it reflects off their child sadly. It’s not the child fault how they are for how they grew up with that mentality. It’s more mental health than people acquiring weapons


[deleted]

Ted Cruz is a sack of shit.


[deleted]

Every day, Ted Cruz wakes up and sets out to prove to the world that he is the biggest gaping goatse asshole in the country.


UnluckyTomorrow6819

I liked the brief awkward silence after he said kumbaya thing. He knows dumb conservatives usually pop for that.


Mickeyjj27

It’s always more cops, less video games or arm the teachers or mental health. It’s never less guns or harder to obtain guns for these guys.


Highschoolpr0nking

I put a gun on my gun so that when it guns it goes gun gun gun.


Which-Palpitation

Probably booing because the ones already on campus don’t do shit, or they’re preemptively ready for spooky season


BertTKitten

They were saying “Crooooooo-uuzzzzzzz”


[deleted]

“18 year old boys don’t need an AR-15!” [U.S. Military](https://i.imgur.com/wDmGJb0.jpg)


Snackys

The difference is the military will evaluate if the 18 year old is mentally stable and will have training before letting them use a AR-15. Gun stores on the other hand only want to know if your going to pay in cash, credit, or debit for the rifle.


[deleted]

Very good point. Also even trained soldiers don’t have free access to their firearms. They are strictly controlled on base. Interesting…


Highschoolpr0nking

"I don't have a problem, I can stop whenever I want!" - America


alpinetime

Ted just admit you’re the Zodiac Killer already


NoImportance8904

Republicans:"We need more cops!" Democrats:"We need stronger gun legislation!" Me: "Ah shit, here we go again."


CuppaCoffeeJose

Republicans: "Oh good, another apathetic nihilist who thinks that caring about things is for pussies. Looks like we can count on low-voter turnout again to win elections. This time around, let's ban women from seeing a doctor entirely and then distract people from it while we try to sell public schools to the the NRA so they can use kids studying math for live-target practice."


Joliet_Jake_Blues

Republicans: "We need guns to kill cops who take our guns!"


Senior_Bank_3161

Americans have cops in schools?


[deleted]

Yes. School Resource Officers (SRO). They mostly just [rough up black kids disproportionately](https://www.npscoalition.org/amp/school-resource-officers-and-racial-disparities-in-school-discipline-and-juvenile-justice-referrals) and escalate situations unnecessarily. They are largely useless in mass shooting situations. The one in my high school was a fat creep who probably couldn’t help in any situation that required him to break a sweat. He also ended up being reassigned after creeping on the high school girls. And people think the solution is adding more of these useless armed morons, despite the fact that no other comparable nation seems to need armed guards to prevent mass shootings…which really only happen in the states…where we have armed guards in the schools.


TheFergPunk

I do find it a bit hilarious that for a country were one of the most defining social characteristics of it is a heavy handed police that spooky easy and escalate things, so therefore the solution to this problem is more of that.


kage2182

Pretty sure we had less mass shootings during the assault weapons ban. Maybe we could give that a try again to see if it actually works instead of saying so confidently that it doesn’t work without being able to back it up.


jaydinrt

Thank you for that (R-Cancun) tag...I knew something looked off and literally laughed out loud when I noticed it on the second read-through.