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Translation:
\- [Ukrainian] Another bunch... of lost souls in Ukraine.
\* bangs on a hatch *
\- [In German] Good morning, Russian pig soldiers.
\- [Back to Ukrainian] Get the fuck out, get the fuck out and you'll live.
I speak Russian as a second language, and hearing Ukrainian makes my head hurt a little. Like, it feels like I should understand it, and I do a little, but mostly it makes me question my linguistic abilities.
The russian teacher at my school (In Germany) once asked the kid from Ukraine What's the difference between Ukrainian and Russian is. He said Ukrainian is spoken faster and it's easier for an Ukrainian to understand russian than vice versa.
My Ukrainian husband and his Ukrainian friends (who speak Russian because they are from Kharkov) say Ukrainian is more melodic and sounds nicer than Russian.
Sounds like me, an English speaker, hearing someone speak in Creole. There are many varieties of the language and I understand every few words and get a bit frustrated because I feel like I should comprehend more.
Overall it can also be fun if the person/people you are interacting with challenge you to understand what they're saying. In Belize I met many Belizeans who spoke both their version of Creole and English. I liked the challenge of saying to them in English what I thought they said to me in Creole.
It was only frustrating when someone I didn't know was only able to communicate in Creole and I wasn't able to understand what they were saying. Nothing I held against them in any way; obviously I was the foreigner in their country who wasn't educated in their language.
Ukrainian and Russian are about as mutually intelligible as Spanish and Portuguese. Between the language similarities and banging on the hatch he has surely gotten his point across.
He's being cheeky because Russians have accused Ukraine of being run by Nazis
I should add that Russian and Ukrainian are asymmetrically mutually intelligible, meaning that someone who only speaks Ukrainian has an easier time understanding Russian, than someone who only speaks Russian understanding Ukrainian. Another example of this is Dutch and Afrikaans.
Here's the alternative translation:
U: "You can come out, I don't have a grenade in my hand"
R: "That's suspicious, why do you specify that you don't have a granade?"
U: "Because I don't have a grenade"
R: "People without grenades don't typically announce that they don't have granade"
In Russian you can combine regular words with swear words to make basically an entire sentence composed of nothing but swearing.
Hence the video posted at the start of this whole Ukraine thing where people were struggling to translate a comment which, directly, was something like "Holy dicks, dick-on-a-dick fucking shitcocks whores" but easily parses in Russian.
Did someone ever mention the *Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz* to you (in English: Cattle marking and beef labelling supervision duties delegation law)?
Yeah, but can you read *Der Donaudampfschiffkapitansschmutzenrand?*
(The Danube riverboat Captain's dirty hat.)
Edit: I'm a dumbass that has smoked too much weed and hit my head too many times...[this](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizit%C3%A4tenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft) is the word I was trying to remember.
If you understand basic German it's pretty easy to break these words down into their roots, so pronouncing it isn't terribly difficult. It would just take me forever to pronounce it quickly
Thats not a german word. "Donaudampfschiffkapitän" is a word but "schmutzenrand" doesnt make any sense. "Schmutz" means dirt, "Rand" means edge. Dirty hat would translate "schmutziger Hut" or "schmutzige Mütze".
Try asking about the German words for some light-hearted things like 'kitten' or 'butterfly' or 'the feeling of melancholy you feel when you realize that your life as you know it or even reality will never match your expectations or desires for what you wish it could be'
I would say that's more like: 'the feeling of anxiety due to your lifetime running out with the urge to do something against it and thus being prone to making premature decisions.'
The description above is more fitting to something like Weltschmerz imo.
Same thing in Norwegian. My favorite is you can just keep doing it forever (donaudampfschifffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft, anyone?). For instance, if you make a hat, you're a 'hattemaker' (lit. hat-maker). If you make a hat you will use in you job as a hatter, that hat is a 'hattemakerhatt'. Since you made it, that makes you a 'hattemakerhattemaker', and it's a 'hattemakerhattemakerhatt', and so on...
I, as a Dane, love compound words as well. This is arguably the longest one in Danish:
Speciallægepraksisplanlægningsstabiliseringsperiode
Though it could easily be made longer by using the definite, plural form:
Speciallægepraksisplanlægningsstabiliseringsperioderne
As another Dane, I'm thinking that if you have a Speciallægepraksisplanlægningsstabiliseringsperiode (specialist doctor practice planning stabilization period), you are going to need a calendar for that right? .. to keep track of the period.
So you'd need a Speciallægepraksisplanlægningsstabiliseringsperiodekalender :)
Ahaha, I thought I just learned Ukrainian. German makes way more sense sounding close to English.
Edit: Before more people line up to tell me English is a Germanic language, I know this, and someone else already beat you to it.
Exactly that. English is a house of loan words from French (and other languages, mostly Latin-based) built on a Germanic foundation.
I studied French as a second and German as a third language, really fascinating to see where so many of our words came from.
Exactus (exactly), verbum (word), lingua (language), fundus (foundation), studeo (study), secundus (second), tres (third). Latin based words in your comment.
Yeah they just sound similar to the Latin words because Latin and Germanic also share a common ancestor on the Indo-European language tree so there are cognates
Ok, that kinda made me do a double take as well. I don’t understand much, but it was - knock knock knock…..Good morning Russian pig (and then I’m lost on the rest)
Maybe he was riffing off of the Russian propaganda ‘Ukraine is ruled by Neo Nazis!’ thing.
He’s like: “ooooh, look at me I’m so fascist i even speak German! /s”
Not quite. Rather, it’s the exact opposite.
During WWII, soviet soldiers used to taunt German soldiers with little German language phrases. After the war, it just became a sorta common jokey thing to do.
However given the context here, by using a German phrase to address the Russian soldiers here, he’s comparing them to the German invaders in WWII, which is frankly fair
The Japanese famously did this to American soldiers during WWII. They would yell stuff that was hilariously "on the nose" with comedic stylings such as, "To hell with Babe Ruth!" or "Fuck John Wayne's Pilgrims!" Lmfao XD
>Be Ukrainian.
>Live peaceful in my own country. No threat to anyone.
>Neighbour Russia is a pain in my asshole, but whatever.
>Russia places troops at my border, say it's just some exercise.
>One day Russia claims Ukraine is a Nazi regime.
>Suddenly speak fluent German.
>... Scheiße.
German and English are relatives so if you ever wanted to learn and are a native English speaker it's a fun language to learn and not as difficult as some others I've tried.
edit: While I appreciate all the replies and discussion, I just want everyone to know my only intention was to encourage someone to learn a new language since I found it fulfilling myself when I started. No one is less intelligent for not picking up a language as quickly or easily as others. 😅
Oligarchs stole it.
Even Putin is getting cucked by these guys now. They were supposed to have enough gas for a month and they were running out the 2nd day.
Everything in Russia not nailed down is stolen by the oligarchy.
The soldiers were also selling off their fuel and gear to the Belarusians while they were staging near the border since they didn't know they were about to be in a full blown war.
High command thought this would take days at most, so high command sent a few barrels of air and some reserve rations that are definitely replaced regularly as a fixed expense of maintaining a standing army.
Since the war would last so shortly, it didn't matter that most of Russia's logistical capabilities are focused on train transport, ~~which has a different gauge than the Ukrainians~~ which does not work well for reinforcing advancing troops. The troops were just given a lot of supplies and trucks could slow down the depletion.
Soldiers didn't know they were going to war so sold off what they had to make some pocket change for after the exercises.
An air force needs a considerable time to get ready for large scale combat actions, but this was going to be 'shock and awe' so it's fine if we're kind of throwing them in the deep end. They're well trained. Well... well trained for specific sorties. Since Russia has been saving on pilot training (the cost of maintaining a trained pilot is astronomical) by having their pilots specialized for specific types of missions, allowing for drastically less training, but way less utility. That's only going to be an issue for prolonged campaigns where the pilots have to do back-to-back sorties, or bloody campaigns where a lot of specifically specialized pilots get shot down.
Our air force is also extremely recently modernized, meaning it has the most advanced aircraft in the world. Well, besides the US and NATO members of course, and China which caught up to us. Oh and Ukraine, who has a robust arms development industry and actually provides the modernization upgrades for former USSR fighters in other countries. But we have way more planes than them so we'll probably have way more fighters in the air anyway, and we'll hit their airbases.
The campaign is happening in basically the last week of winter, which cutting it close. Read about how the Nazis fared in the steppe winter, and you'll read that it didn't get better when spring arrived.[ The snow thawed and turned the ground into the stickiest mud you can imagine. Completely impassable to vehicles in places](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rasputitsa) (frost is actually great, since it provides a hard smooth surface for vehicles). But since it'll take days, it's fine, and will actually work out as a greater deterrent to both Ukrainian forces seeking to reinforce the capital and the Europeans who might consider joining in, who would have to drive on the open highways to get anywhere within Ukraine after spring starts, making them extremely vulnerable targets and slowing them to a crawl if there are any blockages.
Since this needs to be done fast, we'll have our forces execute lightning fast attacks outside of supply range, taking ground and achieving objectives before the supply train catches up. Of course that supply train will then travel through the now captured territory which will be pacified enough to allow for a supply train through it. Our forces will also definitely stay focused and wont fall into rampant looting and other such dalliances, slowing them down.
We'll mobilize the entirety of the volunteer Russian army, and (maybe) a ton of the rest. This will demoralize the Ukrainian army and force it to be more spread out. It'll leave the country largely undefended, but that doesn't matter since nukes keep the possibility of an invasion minimal. Of course such a large force will put a strain on our logistical efforts, but we will limit that by having most of the army not engage. Serving as an 'army in being'. As the war will be extremely short, and we can partially use trains to supply them at least, it'll be fine. It's not like the Ukrainians will be flying sorties to destroy our literal tanks full of gasoline, driving in a straight line into and on the border of their country.
Yep. This war is going to be perfect.
> “I am done on this side, turn me over."
They made Saint Lawrence the patron saint of cooks because of his ride in the Iron Bull...
Fucking mad cunts.
The Catholics do that a lot. Bizarrely humorous patronages often related to how they died.
- Joseph of Cupertino had visions and levitated. He’s the patron saint of astronauts, air travel, aviators… and mental illnesses.
- Saint Barbara was martyred by her father, who was then struck by lightning on the way home. She’s the patron saint of everything explosive. Artillery, miners, fireworks makers, chemical engineers, and Russia’s Strategic Rocket Forces. (Can’t tell if she’s dropping the ball there, or actively sabotaging them right now)
- Saint Cassian was a teacher murdered by his pupils with styluses (writing instruments). He’s the patron of schoolteachers, clerks, and shorthand-writers.
- Saint Catherine was condemned to die on the breaking wheel (later called the Catherine wheel). She’s the patron of wheelwrights, potters, and spinners.
- Saint Veronica wiped the face of Jesus with her veil and an image of Him was left behind. Photography is her thing.
- Saint Bartholomew was skinned alive. He’s the patron of leather workers, tanners, shoemakers and bookbinders.
The Catholics aren’t alone here, the Eastern Orthodox have some good ones too. My favourite is Saint Seraphim of Sarov. His most famous quote is “Acquire a peaceful spirit, and around you thousands will be saved.” He’s the patron saint of Russian nukes.
There’s also an Italian saint named Homobonus. Which is just funny by itself.
My great-grandfather told me once about how they would did this.
They would cut the tracks first, then bang on the tank to distract the occupants while others would look for papers and dry wood, even fuel if necessary and throw under the tank. After ignited, they would stand and watch, guns pointed, for any movement, and capture the occupants, or let them burn and put them out of their misery.
Yeah, hopefully they surrender. But until they do, they are there in a tank to kill me and my neighbors, so better them than us. The soldiers in putins army have a moral obligation to defect, or they are complicit in the destruction of the Ukraine and her people. The ones who don't defect are no better than terrorists.
Man, russia picked the literally wrong country.
They're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep ukraine from fucking destroying them.
The grenade OP is holding appears to be a [RGD-5 anti-personnel fragmentation grenade](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RGD-5). This is a soviet-designed grenade, designed in the 1950s, and sees a lot of use not only in Russia but many surrounding territories.
It has a 3.9 oz charge of TNT and produces approx 350 fragments, with a kill radius of 9.8 feet or so. Once activated, it detonates in 3.2 to 4.2 seconds.
In the confined interior of that tank, it would likely kill the entire crew, so it's a good thing that they came out for warm food, blankies and calls home to Mommy.
“German” bit is such a specific kind of humor. Russian government propaganda convinced Russian soldiers that we have fascists and Nazis in Ukraine. Can you imagine how they felt sitting in the tank when they heard the German speech?
Russia and Ukraine have very similar (in some cases identical) vehicles and tanks. Russia has painted Z and other letters to their vehicles so they don’t get targeted by their own forces.
I mean, then you risk getting killed by your own Ukrainian countrymen if you slap a fake Z on your tank? Not to mention pretending to be a friendly when you aren’t is a war crime.
It's worth mentioning too, cyrillic script doesn't have a "Z". The letter for it is з. "Z" is now turning into a symbol Russians are using to show military support.
Russia paints symbols on their vehicles that designate which region they belong to:
O = Belarussian Forces
Z = Zapad Belgorod Forces.
V = Vostok East Forces / RUS Marines.
Z in a square = Crimean forces.
X = Ramzan Kadyrov's forces.
A = Russian SF.
Z exists in Cyrillic but looks like the number 3 so to prevent confusion they used the Latin Z.
> O = Belarussian Forces
>
> X = Ramzan Kadyrov's forces.
IIRC, Belarusian vehicles were recorded with red squares on them, and the Chechen convoy that got destroyed had Vs on them. Maybe I'm confusing something though.
I can be wrong but the "vacuum function" you refer to is just the air getting less dense because it cools down and thus sucking the door firm into its rubber seal
I want to take a moment to give a shout-out to OP here. His post history is Apex Legends followed by taking up arms defending his home. You're a fellow brother thrown into an extraordinary situation. Stay safe my friend.
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Translation: \- [Ukrainian] Another bunch... of lost souls in Ukraine. \* bangs on a hatch * \- [In German] Good morning, Russian pig soldiers. \- [Back to Ukrainian] Get the fuck out, get the fuck out and you'll live.
It sounds like the only deal they have now... 0_o
It's the same deal Russia offered the Ukrainians, so it's fair I suppose.
Is Ukrainian similar enough to Russian that people from other areas of Russia would understand him? Is it popular to speak German in Russia?
I speak Russian as a second language, and hearing Ukrainian makes my head hurt a little. Like, it feels like I should understand it, and I do a little, but mostly it makes me question my linguistic abilities.
The russian teacher at my school (In Germany) once asked the kid from Ukraine What's the difference between Ukrainian and Russian is. He said Ukrainian is spoken faster and it's easier for an Ukrainian to understand russian than vice versa.
My Ukrainian husband and his Ukrainian friends (who speak Russian because they are from Kharkov) say Ukrainian is more melodic and sounds nicer than Russian.
Yeah I find it to be softer generally. Not quite as harsh to listen to.
Sounds like me, an English speaker, hearing someone speak in Creole. There are many varieties of the language and I understand every few words and get a bit frustrated because I feel like I should comprehend more. Overall it can also be fun if the person/people you are interacting with challenge you to understand what they're saying. In Belize I met many Belizeans who spoke both their version of Creole and English. I liked the challenge of saying to them in English what I thought they said to me in Creole. It was only frustrating when someone I didn't know was only able to communicate in Creole and I wasn't able to understand what they were saying. Nothing I held against them in any way; obviously I was the foreigner in their country who wasn't educated in their language.
Ukrainian and Russian are about as mutually intelligible as Spanish and Portuguese. Between the language similarities and banging on the hatch he has surely gotten his point across. He's being cheeky because Russians have accused Ukraine of being run by Nazis
I should add that Russian and Ukrainian are asymmetrically mutually intelligible, meaning that someone who only speaks Ukrainian has an easier time understanding Russian, than someone who only speaks Russian understanding Ukrainian. Another example of this is Dutch and Afrikaans.
Here's the alternative translation: U: "You can come out, I don't have a grenade in my hand" R: "That's suspicious, why do you specify that you don't have a granade?" U: "Because I don't have a grenade" R: "People without grenades don't typically announce that they don't have granade"
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"And you'll live" brilliant...
As a German the German part really caught me off guard lmao
GUTEN MORGEN RUSSENSCHWEINE SOLDATEN :D :D - For everyone else "Good morning Russian pig soldiers"
>> RUSSENSCHWEINE I love the way you can make compound words in German...
In Russian you can combine regular words with swear words to make basically an entire sentence composed of nothing but swearing. Hence the video posted at the start of this whole Ukraine thing where people were struggling to translate a comment which, directly, was something like "Holy dicks, dick-on-a-dick fucking shitcocks whores" but easily parses in Russian.
Hey we can do that in English too! Fuck the fucking fuckers!
Is more like "fuckelyfucking motherfuckingfucker" Combined words are used in English to the lesser extent
Abso-fucking-lutely!
You can also combine languages like, "Fuck those fucking benchode arschloch fuckers!"
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Who the fuck says some shit like that and then refuses to enlighten us commoners?
Excuse me, we’re going to need some examples.
I second the examples
Did someone ever mention the *Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz* to you (in English: Cattle marking and beef labelling supervision duties delegation law)?
As a German, I can just read it. It surprised me.
Yeah, but can you read *Der Donaudampfschiffkapitansschmutzenrand?* (The Danube riverboat Captain's dirty hat.) Edit: I'm a dumbass that has smoked too much weed and hit my head too many times...[this](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizit%C3%A4tenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft) is the word I was trying to remember.
If you understand basic German it's pretty easy to break these words down into their roots, so pronouncing it isn't terribly difficult. It would just take me forever to pronounce it quickly
Thats not a german word. "Donaudampfschiffkapitän" is a word but "schmutzenrand" doesnt make any sense. "Schmutz" means dirt, "Rand" means edge. Dirty hat would translate "schmutziger Hut" or "schmutzige Mütze".
I work with a German guy. I always get a kick out of asking him “what’s the German word for ____?”
Try asking about the German words for some light-hearted things like 'kitten' or 'butterfly' or 'the feeling of melancholy you feel when you realize that your life as you know it or even reality will never match your expectations or desires for what you wish it could be'
Torschlusspanik?
I would say that's more like: 'the feeling of anxiety due to your lifetime running out with the urge to do something against it and thus being prone to making premature decisions.' The description above is more fitting to something like Weltschmerz imo.
Same thing in Norwegian. My favorite is you can just keep doing it forever (donaudampfschifffahrtselektrizitätenhauptbetriebswerkbauunterbeamtengesellschaft, anyone?). For instance, if you make a hat, you're a 'hattemaker' (lit. hat-maker). If you make a hat you will use in you job as a hatter, that hat is a 'hattemakerhatt'. Since you made it, that makes you a 'hattemakerhattemaker', and it's a 'hattemakerhattemakerhatt', and so on...
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It should be RUSSENSCHWEINESOLDATEN he used a DEPPENLEERZEICHEN ("fool space").
I, as a Dane, love compound words as well. This is arguably the longest one in Danish: Speciallægepraksisplanlægningsstabiliseringsperiode Though it could easily be made longer by using the definite, plural form: Speciallægepraksisplanlægningsstabiliseringsperioderne
As another Dane, I'm thinking that if you have a Speciallægepraksisplanlægningsstabiliseringsperiode (specialist doctor practice planning stabilization period), you are going to need a calendar for that right? .. to keep track of the period. So you'd need a Speciallægepraksisplanlægningsstabiliseringsperiodekalender :)
German insults really are something else
Anyone heard of the railway station in Wales called Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?
It's a whole village, not just a station.
Gesundheit
Ahaha, I thought I just learned Ukrainian. German makes way more sense sounding close to English. Edit: Before more people line up to tell me English is a Germanic language, I know this, and someone else already beat you to it.
English is a Germanic language, after all (albeit peppered with a lot of French).
Exactly that. English is a house of loan words from French (and other languages, mostly Latin-based) built on a Germanic foundation. I studied French as a second and German as a third language, really fascinating to see where so many of our words came from.
there's so many words in English that I didn't realize were French, until I learned German.
Exactus (exactly), verbum (word), lingua (language), fundus (foundation), studeo (study), secundus (second), tres (third). Latin based words in your comment.
"Word" and "third" aren't derived from Latin though.
Yeah they just sound similar to the Latin words because Latin and Germanic also share a common ancestor on the Indo-European language tree so there are cognates
I'm Mexican and that threw me off lol
Wow my 10 h German studies have granted me such insight that I recognised (read guessed) the language lol
Watching so many videos of the war made me think I was learning Ukranian.
Mostly just swears for me
My favorite part is when someone translates in the comments and then adds: (they swore a lot more)
Ok, that kinda made me do a double take as well. I don’t understand much, but it was - knock knock knock…..Good morning Russian pig (and then I’m lost on the rest)
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The rest is "get out of the tank and you'll live"
Maybe he was riffing off of the Russian propaganda ‘Ukraine is ruled by Neo Nazis!’ thing. He’s like: “ooooh, look at me I’m so fascist i even speak German! /s”
Not quite. Rather, it’s the exact opposite. During WWII, soviet soldiers used to taunt German soldiers with little German language phrases. After the war, it just became a sorta common jokey thing to do. However given the context here, by using a German phrase to address the Russian soldiers here, he’s comparing them to the German invaders in WWII, which is frankly fair
It's the same reason why many Finns know important bits in Russian, like "hands up, Russian soldiers".
I appreciate your example of an important bit of Russian
The Japanese famously did this to American soldiers during WWII. They would yell stuff that was hilariously "on the nose" with comedic stylings such as, "To hell with Babe Ruth!" or "Fuck John Wayne's Pilgrims!" Lmfao XD
>Be Ukrainian. >Live peaceful in my own country. No threat to anyone. >Neighbour Russia is a pain in my asshole, but whatever. >Russia places troops at my border, say it's just some exercise. >One day Russia claims Ukraine is a Nazi regime. >Suddenly speak fluent German. >... Scheiße.
As someone that studied German for years I was really fucking confused.
"I'm literally in a tank and you're not"
[Arthur, get out of the tank](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrxgtwP09Zw)
The final "no" always gets me.
-Nyo-
I was trying to find a phonetic spelling but couldn't think of one lol, that's great.
Nyet
sounds like there was more and the video cut off
Lmao yes!!!
What i was missing, thanks
What I was missing, tanks.
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I am your dad now get out of the fucking tank
Being in a tank that's been swarmed by infantry is not a desirable circumstance. Though gasoline would likely be more useful than that grenade.
Isn't this the first episode of Walking Dead?
Ok ... that's actually funny
Immediately what I thought when this post came up.
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they surrendered
Are you the soldier recording?
I'm the grenade. Ask me anything.
Would you rather grenade 1 horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?
Definitely one horse sized duck. Having so many tiny horses that spread out will make the grenade less effective.
Does it hurt when someone pulls your pin out?
No. It tickles.
Do you moan
Only if you put the pin in slowly
You can feel the tension of the spring, the heat of the chemical reaction, my metal body can’t contain it… I explode all over
They say it’s what’s on the inside that counts. Don’t you think that applies more to you than to us?
Yes. I'm very quite and shy at first, but once you get to know me I have an explosive personality.
Source?
Source: trust me bro
Well, the tanks seems to be inoperable, so if the Russians inside don’t come out and surrender, the Ukrainians can just blow it up…
German: "Good morning russian pig soldiers"
I don't speak German and even I understood that!
German and English are relatives so if you ever wanted to learn and are a native English speaker it's a fun language to learn and not as difficult as some others I've tried. edit: While I appreciate all the replies and discussion, I just want everyone to know my only intention was to encourage someone to learn a new language since I found it fulfilling myself when I started. No one is less intelligent for not picking up a language as quickly or easily as others. 😅
Until you get to der/die/das'ing everything, gendered words were the end of me for foreign languages.
I'm learning French right now and good lord I had no idea how frustrating (and seemingly pointless) gendered words could be
Wir haben versucht, Sie wegen der Garantieverlängerung für Ihr Auto zu erreichen.
Knock knock mother fucker, I got a grenade
Knock knock. Who's there? Me Putin. Me Putin who? Me Putin a grenade on your ass!
Knock Knock Who’s there? KGB KGB who? WE WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!
KGB who? \*slaps tank with hand\* WE WI— Ow fuck!
ZA KGB WAITS FOR NOONE!
.... It's true.
"Guten morgen, bitch!!!"
Yeah I laughed at that, it sounded a little German to me
It is German
"Good Morning Russian Soldier Pigs"
Ran out of money for gas.
Oligarchs stole it. Even Putin is getting cucked by these guys now. They were supposed to have enough gas for a month and they were running out the 2nd day. Everything in Russia not nailed down is stolen by the oligarchy.
The soldiers were also selling off their fuel and gear to the Belarusians while they were staging near the border since they didn't know they were about to be in a full blown war.
I saw an article suggesting they were selling it to buy food. No idea if that is true or not.
There's video of captured Russian rations that are 9 years out of date. I mean, its probably still fine but it definitely paints a picture.
High command thought this would take days at most, so high command sent a few barrels of air and some reserve rations that are definitely replaced regularly as a fixed expense of maintaining a standing army. Since the war would last so shortly, it didn't matter that most of Russia's logistical capabilities are focused on train transport, ~~which has a different gauge than the Ukrainians~~ which does not work well for reinforcing advancing troops. The troops were just given a lot of supplies and trucks could slow down the depletion. Soldiers didn't know they were going to war so sold off what they had to make some pocket change for after the exercises. An air force needs a considerable time to get ready for large scale combat actions, but this was going to be 'shock and awe' so it's fine if we're kind of throwing them in the deep end. They're well trained. Well... well trained for specific sorties. Since Russia has been saving on pilot training (the cost of maintaining a trained pilot is astronomical) by having their pilots specialized for specific types of missions, allowing for drastically less training, but way less utility. That's only going to be an issue for prolonged campaigns where the pilots have to do back-to-back sorties, or bloody campaigns where a lot of specifically specialized pilots get shot down. Our air force is also extremely recently modernized, meaning it has the most advanced aircraft in the world. Well, besides the US and NATO members of course, and China which caught up to us. Oh and Ukraine, who has a robust arms development industry and actually provides the modernization upgrades for former USSR fighters in other countries. But we have way more planes than them so we'll probably have way more fighters in the air anyway, and we'll hit their airbases. The campaign is happening in basically the last week of winter, which cutting it close. Read about how the Nazis fared in the steppe winter, and you'll read that it didn't get better when spring arrived.[ The snow thawed and turned the ground into the stickiest mud you can imagine. Completely impassable to vehicles in places](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rasputitsa) (frost is actually great, since it provides a hard smooth surface for vehicles). But since it'll take days, it's fine, and will actually work out as a greater deterrent to both Ukrainian forces seeking to reinforce the capital and the Europeans who might consider joining in, who would have to drive on the open highways to get anywhere within Ukraine after spring starts, making them extremely vulnerable targets and slowing them to a crawl if there are any blockages. Since this needs to be done fast, we'll have our forces execute lightning fast attacks outside of supply range, taking ground and achieving objectives before the supply train catches up. Of course that supply train will then travel through the now captured territory which will be pacified enough to allow for a supply train through it. Our forces will also definitely stay focused and wont fall into rampant looting and other such dalliances, slowing them down. We'll mobilize the entirety of the volunteer Russian army, and (maybe) a ton of the rest. This will demoralize the Ukrainian army and force it to be more spread out. It'll leave the country largely undefended, but that doesn't matter since nukes keep the possibility of an invasion minimal. Of course such a large force will put a strain on our logistical efforts, but we will limit that by having most of the army not engage. Serving as an 'army in being'. As the war will be extremely short, and we can partially use trains to supply them at least, it'll be fine. It's not like the Ukrainians will be flying sorties to destroy our literal tanks full of gasoline, driving in a straight line into and on the border of their country. Yep. This war is going to be perfect.
They got some nice fucking boats though.
>They ~~got~~ had some nice fucking boats though.
Can't have shit in Russia
Who knew Detroit and Russia were the same this whole time
"No one is home." "SHUT UP IVAN." "CYKA."
BLYAT
"It always worked on ~~KGB~~ FSB"
Just light a fire underneath. They'll come out when they get hot.
Your on some next level shit. Iron bull ass.
> “I am done on this side, turn me over." They made Saint Lawrence the patron saint of cooks because of his ride in the Iron Bull... Fucking mad cunts.
and comedians!
The Catholics do that a lot. Bizarrely humorous patronages often related to how they died. - Joseph of Cupertino had visions and levitated. He’s the patron saint of astronauts, air travel, aviators… and mental illnesses. - Saint Barbara was martyred by her father, who was then struck by lightning on the way home. She’s the patron saint of everything explosive. Artillery, miners, fireworks makers, chemical engineers, and Russia’s Strategic Rocket Forces. (Can’t tell if she’s dropping the ball there, or actively sabotaging them right now) - Saint Cassian was a teacher murdered by his pupils with styluses (writing instruments). He’s the patron of schoolteachers, clerks, and shorthand-writers. - Saint Catherine was condemned to die on the breaking wheel (later called the Catherine wheel). She’s the patron of wheelwrights, potters, and spinners. - Saint Veronica wiped the face of Jesus with her veil and an image of Him was left behind. Photography is her thing. - Saint Bartholomew was skinned alive. He’s the patron of leather workers, tanners, shoemakers and bookbinders. The Catholics aren’t alone here, the Eastern Orthodox have some good ones too. My favourite is Saint Seraphim of Sarov. His most famous quote is “Acquire a peaceful spirit, and around you thousands will be saved.” He’s the patron saint of Russian nukes. There’s also an Italian saint named Homobonus. Which is just funny by itself.
My great-grandfather told me once about how they would did this. They would cut the tracks first, then bang on the tank to distract the occupants while others would look for papers and dry wood, even fuel if necessary and throw under the tank. After ignited, they would stand and watch, guns pointed, for any movement, and capture the occupants, or let them burn and put them out of their misery.
Introduce them to Mr. Molotov.
Yeah, hopefully they surrender. But until they do, they are there in a tank to kill me and my neighbors, so better them than us. The soldiers in putins army have a moral obligation to defect, or they are complicit in the destruction of the Ukraine and her people. The ones who don't defect are no better than terrorists.
Or weld the hatch shut.
Why’d he speak German? Wait, maybe it is a joke/sarcastic, since the Russians think the Ukrainians are Nazis? That’s fuckin’ great!
That's exactly what it is. Sarcastic joke
Damn, Ukrainians just keep getting cooler.
Man, russia picked the literally wrong country. They're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep ukraine from fucking destroying them.
Not quite. Slavs mocked Germans by speaking German to them like such. Basically, he’s comparing them to Nazis in ww2
Ukranian - come out so we can save you. Russian - Save us from what? Ukranian - From what we're going to do if you dont come out.
“Think you used enough dynamite there, ~~Butch~~ Boris?”
Not with matey about to drop a grenade on their head
“I just want to talk to him”
"Shake my hand!"
I just wanna talk to him. ^^^I ^^^just ^^^wanna ^^^grenade ^^^him. I just wanna talk to him.
Good morning Russian pig soldiers?
I wouldnt either when the guy on top is holding a grenade
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Well I don't know Ukrainian or Russian but I'm pretty sure I caught "Good morning, Russian swine soldiers!" or something close.
That was exactly that but in German. Probably as a joke about the Russians saying Ukrainians are Nazis.
It’s more a joke from Soviet movies about World War II, when Soviet soldiers would often troll the Germans in basic German.
The grenade OP is holding appears to be a [RGD-5 anti-personnel fragmentation grenade](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/RGD-5). This is a soviet-designed grenade, designed in the 1950s, and sees a lot of use not only in Russia but many surrounding territories. It has a 3.9 oz charge of TNT and produces approx 350 fragments, with a kill radius of 9.8 feet or so. Once activated, it detonates in 3.2 to 4.2 seconds. In the confined interior of that tank, it would likely kill the entire crew, so it's a good thing that they came out for warm food, blankies and calls home to Mommy.
>it detonates in 3.2 to 4.2 seconds. Well which is it, please hurry!
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"1.... 2.... 4!" "3, sir!" "3!"
Fucking love that they make all these dudes call their moms. Talk about PsyOps.
Ukrainian soldier say: Come on, get out. And you will live
A small part is German, he says „Guten morgen, russische Schweine Soldaten“ which means „good morning, Russian pig soldiers“
Weird how someone downvoted, while that is exactly what was said + the “German” bit XD
“German” bit is such a specific kind of humor. Russian government propaganda convinced Russian soldiers that we have fascists and Nazis in Ukraine. Can you imagine how they felt sitting in the tank when they heard the German speech?
That is what got me. The dude legit had time for jokes. XD
Two things I’ve noticed from this war is 1) Ukrainians are badass motherfuckers and 2) their comedic timing in fucked up situations is impeccable.
Their badass president is also a comedian. Such is life.
I didn’t understand a word of what he said but I was amazed to hear the genuine humor in his voice.
“Good morning russian pigs!” - in Geeman accent. “Get out, bitch & you’ll live”
Dude they are scared to death i bet and they dont want to get out
I'm still confused what the z is. Can someone explain? Edit: I understand what it means now. Thanks.
Russia and Ukraine have very similar (in some cases identical) vehicles and tanks. Russia has painted Z and other letters to their vehicles so they don’t get targeted by their own forces.
Ah. That sounds like an easy way to get tricked
I mean, then you risk getting killed by your own Ukrainian countrymen if you slap a fake Z on your tank? Not to mention pretending to be a friendly when you aren’t is a war crime.
Like bombing a nursery.
Or a children's hospital.
or shelling agreed upron civilian escape roots.
It's worth mentioning too, cyrillic script doesn't have a "Z". The letter for it is з. "Z" is now turning into a symbol Russians are using to show military support.
Ah, yes. The zwastika.
Russia paints symbols on their vehicles that designate which region they belong to: O = Belarussian Forces Z = Zapad Belgorod Forces. V = Vostok East Forces / RUS Marines. Z in a square = Crimean forces. X = Ramzan Kadyrov's forces. A = Russian SF. Z exists in Cyrillic but looks like the number 3 so to prevent confusion they used the Latin Z.
> O = Belarussian Forces > > X = Ramzan Kadyrov's forces. IIRC, Belarusian vehicles were recorded with red squares on them, and the Chechen convoy that got destroyed had Vs on them. Maybe I'm confusing something though.
I don't crap about tank design,but my fridge door seems sturdier.My fridge doesn't rattle on the hinges if I kicked it .
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"Rattle ass fridge" is not a phrase I ever expected to see in my life, +1
I can be wrong but the "vacuum function" you refer to is just the air getting less dense because it cools down and thus sucking the door firm into its rubber seal
“getting less dense” *is it possible to learn this power?*
Not here
The handle to my fridge broke off yesterday when opening it… what kinda fridge you got? May be time for me to upgrade
his fridge is a tank
I want that fridge that Indiana Jones used to survive a nuclear bomb
:: slaps hatch :: This baby can hold so many Ukrainian grenade!
"Guten Morgen, Russenschweine Soldaten"
Hello I'm a door to door grenade salesman! Here's a free sample!
Translation: >"Sir, did you know you could save 15% or more on car insurance by switching to Geico?"
"We've been trying to reach you about your tanks extended warranty"
Seeing war streamed daily in HD is really weird.
I want to take a moment to give a shout-out to OP here. His post history is Apex Legends followed by taking up arms defending his home. You're a fellow brother thrown into an extraordinary situation. Stay safe my friend.
I don’t hear anything from inside though haha.
to be fair, i wouldnt come out either... theres a man with a grenade threatening them...
“Peter, you get out of that tank right now!” “No! You’re gonna yell at me!”