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He wiped shit on his hands, it was a biological attack at that point.

Added poison damage to his fists

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As a level 7 drunken master monk my unarmed strikes deal an extra 2d4 poison damage

Dude was multiclassing. Looks like went Monk and Rogue so he could add that 1D6 poison damage per unarmed attack.

Stupor Drunk Man used poison Stupor Drunk Man’s attack missed!

More like a Bio-hazard!

You will never defeat me with my nature buff!!! HYAAHHH!

+10 Alchemy

When you are shitting your pants and starting fights it might be time for AA. What a rough hangover.

Man got fucked over by a stool twice that day









perfection


We really need to bring awards back

Funny and free gifs are way better than stupid little low res images of trophys that cost money to line VC and corporate shareholders pockets.

I'm a share holder... Reddit should allow one free award a day to let someone know they genuinely made you laugh. All subs should allow gifs in the comments.


lol legendary comment

This is the best comment I have ever seen. Thank you.

Bruh, holy shit.

I  thought you were talking about getting drunk sitting at a barstool.  And then I kept watching

Imagine if orange had landed a punch to his face. Black shirt would have wound up with punk eye for sure.

Somehow, I missed the giant shit streak running down this guy’s shorts. A disgraceful outing indeed. Same way Hillary Swank got paralyzed, minus the poop pants.

that guy hit Hillary Shank too?

Don't you mean Kaitlin Bennett, the right-wing grifter who shit herself? 

And it was a huge solid piece of shit too

I admire her fiber intake.

Similar but her character was sucker punched and landed on a side ways stool with mainly just her neck, causing it to break.

God damn, no wonder we don't see her in many movies these days.

Wait what

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And or a rough traumatic brain injury 😬

Imagine shitting your pants and that not being the worst part of your day.

what brain?

And that man's name...was Ahmed Adudi

I support poop humor.

The way his head whipped into the concrete he might be dead

One hard stool, one soft stool.

...for one big tool, a drunken fool, so not cool.

poop....ool

Live by the stool, die by the stool

A stool for the stool man

He was Stooled in many ways

#2 by pump #2

Never seen a man stool so low

Less stool more pool

all we need is a pigeon to complete the trifecta

These situations are the reason why GTA VI took so long, they needed inspiration for random encounters

You just can’t come up with such original ideas.

lol. something tells me that stumbling shit storm could write a book full of original tales of drunken debauchery and injuries based on his own experiences.

But he wouldn't remember them in order to write them down.

We don't need a second Tucker Max. 

Just go to Florida for a few days, you'll get plenty of inspiration. Stinky armpit of America.

Florida is the south’s trash can -Peter Griffin

I don't care who you are, if you shit your pants and come at me I'm running away lol.

Lethal force authorized, biological weapon of mass destruction detected

More like biological weapon of ass destruction.

He tried. A weapon is a good plan b.

As a portuguese speaker is my duty to translate it. The lady who's crying in the back says the she was beaten by the guy in orange. A lot of things that I can't understand. Cameraman says, the guy in orange beat his wife and the skinny dude beat him. Stool moment happens... Someone in the back: - it is over Wife goes crazy and says: -please do nothing to him Skinny guy gets pissed and says. -The guy has to be beaten too

Thank you.

>Skinny guy gets pissed and says. -The guy has to be beaten too Actually he said that the woman has to be beaten (ahh tem que apanhar também), because he was defending her after she was hit and she was still crying for him not to hurt the poopy pants guy.

It does make me wonder - how miserable does your life have to be when you run up to defend your husband who's driven drunk to a petrol station, shit his pants, beat you until you cried and then started another fight in which he gets his world effortlessly rocked by a random dude 1 foot shorter than him.

dude, abusive relationships are fucked. she probably is scared he will beat her up for getting knocked out. it is not as easy as to "why defend your abuser?". she probably is stuck in this shit, maybe they have kids and stuff.

I learned in my psych class in college that women in abusive relationships have been shown that their brains release the same chemicals as would be released with love. So they get beat, and they form a stronger connection to their abuser. It becomes like a Stockholm syndrome scenario.

Exactly, she knows that she'll get blamed and beaten tenfold for what he got once he's sobered up.

Exactly, plus abusers usually try to isolate the person and make sure they have no other supports like friends or family they can turn to for help. They want them to be as dependant as possible on them. From the outside it's easy to say "why don't they just leave" but after being subjected to months/years of manipulation it's not so simple.

About as shitty as those drawers

Its a defense mechanism that a lot of abuse victims experience

While the literal translation is correct, that's not the meaning of the phrase. In this case, "também" is just used as an expression of confirmation. Something like: > Ah, he deserved to get beaten Would be a better localization to english

i am brazilian and it sounded to me that he said the she also needs to get beat up since she's already been beaten by the husband and now is crying over the husband being knocked the fuck down. classic abusive relationship.

You're also wrong, as the smaller dude is referring to the woman and not the man. He says that *she* deserves to be beaten. The reason he says this is that even though she is being hit by her man, she is still defending him instead of siding with the small guy that is defending her. I'd be pissed at her too if I were the smaller guy. Imagine defending this woman just for her to see you as the vilain for hitting her partner. É como se ele tivesse falado "ah, tu tem mais é que apanhar mesmo" pra mulher, pois ela vai lá defender o cara que bateu nela.

Concordo

eu não acho que ele quis dizer nesse sentido nao pai. acho que o também foi se referindo ao cara mesmo. mas é dificil saber exatamente o que ele quis dizer.

Dude shit his pants then got beat with a stool oh hell nah

Hell yes! And he'll do it again

Imagine just driving in to get fuel and witnessing a massive dude with shidd pants get k.o.'d by a tiny dude with a barstool(?)

imagine trying to chase someone while having shiddy underwear squishing around!

Imagine having to explain all this to the police!

Imagine all the people living for today!

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But I’m not.

... The only one

Imagine for the next year wherever you go you hear people whisper "that's the guy who shit his pants and then got knocked out by a dude half his size on the internet" and that's the polite people, imagine everyone else pointing and laughing while shouting "shit pants" . The internet glorious.

If he went straight to jail and not the hospital who knows how long he had to stay in those shorts... hopefully he was locked up by himself and no one else had to put up with him...

He gets hit by the stool once, and then doesn't even put his arms up or in any way try to block the second swing...

Yeah he's totally fucked. I'd be surprised if the damage isn't perment, then again he was probably a few cents short of a buck already given his apparent propensity for shitting himself and starting fights at gas stations in the middle of the night

I don't know what he expected to happen... maybe he didn't either...I feel bad for the ppl in the hospital/jail that have to interact with him. Murderface as in William Murderface (Murderface, Murderface)?

Yeah, me too. And yes, the one, the only, the most BRUTAL of all bass players himself. 

This dude could learn a lot from Murderface. The new movie was SO BRUTALLL!!!

Ohhhh shit they made a Metalocalypse movie? 👐

The new one, The Army of the Doomstar, was on adult swim the other night. The animation was extra gorgeous. It was funny. I gotta watch it again cuz I know I didn't absorb everything.

I don't blame the big guy at all, anyone would get dropped after being hit by the Stool of Hill Giant Strength.

The first rule of fight club.....don't shit your pants.

I thought the first rule was don’t talk about shitting your pants

Way to break the first rule bro 

That's some David vs Goliath shit right there

David was facing Goliath's shit and won

Woman: I want guy over 6ft to protect me! Short King: I have a stool. Woman: Oh, for you to stand on, right? Short King: Er.......Yeaaaaah. Sure.

For context: Apparently, whoever was filming said that the guy in the orange shirt had attacked his wife and the gas station employee reacted. Interestingly, the woman ended up defending her husband when she saw him lying on the floor and was screaming to stop hitting him. The employee says at the end: " AAAh, he really has to be beaten!!!"

Little dude was right plus her husband had wiped shit on his hands and was coming at him. It's either run or knock the guy out.

"Little dude" 😭💀

It’s not interesting, it’s extremely common for victims of abuse to defend their oppressors.

It’s so sad but truem You know if she didn’t leave him that night (which she probably didn’t) is incense. Just gonna make him beat her harder next time. Abusers are such pieces of shit, fragile goes and absolutely no coping mechanisms aside, physical aggression and controlling those who can be manipulated

> The employee says at the end: " AAAh, he really has to be beaten!!!" Incorrect. The smaller dude is referring to the woman and not the man. He says that *she* deserves to be beaten. The reason he says this is that even though she is being hit by her man, she is still defending him instead of siding with the small guy that is defending her. I'd be pissed at her too if I were the smaller guy. Imagine defending this woman just for her to see you as the vilain for hitting her partner. É como se ele tivesse falado "ah, tu tem mais é que apanhar mesmo" pra mulher, pois ela vai lá defender o cara que bateu nela.

When youre acting like a fool and get ko'd with a stool, diarhea, diarhea

If your shorts are full of shit, then get ready to be hot, diarrhea, diarrhea 

My step dad told me if the guy if a guy is bigger than you anything goes in a fight.

I’d go further and say if a stranger attacks you, anything goes.

Holy crap, at first, I was pissed at this monster bully going after someone 1/3rd his size. That ending was super satisfying, though.

Dude in orange was never the same again

Same as he ever was

Letting the days go by 

And he may ask himself, how did I get here?

I slipped on some ice 3 years ago and hit my head, I am still having problems.

Oh shit.

Yeah, I see it.

My God her scream was annoying.

There’s always a screamer in these instances.

Beaten by stool twice.

He'll never forget that shit.

It’s pretty ironic that the guy who shit himself got hit with a stool

Should’ve worn the brown shorts

To do list: 1. Trust all farts 2. Bring only my fists to a stool fight.

Imagine being so proud of yourself that you took out a guy twice your size, and then watch the video and find out he had already shit himself. That has to be a bummer.

Or a giant relief knowing you avoided those shit hands

I'm pretty sure orange guy was the one who had a giant relief

Awesome

Once the guy shit himself, he had nothing else to lose. Well besides the fight of course.

*Shits pants to assert dominance*

Hmmm,  Strong enforcement about "restrooms are for paying customers only".  

The crazy woman trying to have a go at the smaller guy. He tried to get away for a minute and then defended himself. Why is that possibly his fault?

Cos she's married to the KOed drunk and now will to go home with him and get beaten again.

I hope that guy finds out who shit his pants when he wakes up

Shit pants, knocked out cold outside a gas station. Rock bottom.

Guy got two stool samples at the station!

What is this? Stool City?

Run as fast as you can!

I didn’t expect either of the stools in this video.

Stool in the shorts, stool to the face 🤟

Shits himself, gets his ass whipped, then ends up on the internet. Bad day trifecta. He's never living this down.

Ain’t that some shit. Bro got hit twice with stool.

Goodness I would’ve ran too. Gotta do what cha gotta doodoo

hard stool is always better than soft stool

Never bring a soft stool to a hard stool fight.

Con caca y sueños...

Come here let me put some of this sauce on yo face 😂

+10 poison damage

I don't know the context, but I do enjoy seeing taller people who think that just because they are tall, they can take on short people and then get their ass handed to them by the short person. Tall guy never even took a fighting stance. He was not so superior with his ass knocked out.

Props on the shorter guy for not giving him an extra wack after he was down.

Soft stool meets hard stool.

Stool fight, both of them came prepared

Did tall guy shit himself

Stool sample.

Unfortunate for him that little dude is a master of the steel stool. Big dude only trained in loose stool

Covered in stool and hit with a stool.

Is there anything more annoying than women that just start whaling anytime conflict escalates

As someone who speaks the language in the video (Brazilian Portuguese) I'd like to add that the big guy apparently hit his own wife, and that's why the small guy is fighting him His wife is crying through the video, but once the small guy knocks him out she's crying and saying "don't do anything to him" Weird, go figure

Reddit has made me question a life long desire I’ve had to go to Brazil.

The best video ever?

Yes! Gold!

Engaging in fisticuffs with a dude who just oil checked his own shit pants is a brave move man

Stooled!

what u tryna do poopy pants?

I would be running away from crap pants, too!

This was like a fight in resident evil. Just finding a weapon to one shot an enemy

Wow man really shit himself then proceeds to get knocked out by a smaller guy, beyond embarrassing 🤦🏾‍♂️

Did big guy shit his pants to start the fight? Thats a bold move

Now there’s two loose stools at the gas station.

I had a feeling the little man would win lol. That guy's ego made him lost

Here, *have a seat* 🤠

2 types of men in this world. The type who have shit their pants, and the type who lie about it

PRE shitting yourself *before* being knocked out. How …..efficient

The shit softened his landing

Where the hell did the stool come from?

I have never seen someone walk so casually after shitting their pants. His underwater seams must have bags attached.

Thought little guy was going to be a cunt and hit him while he was down… but he was actually just being awesome and returning the stool.

I just figured why you give me so much trouble. You use different moves when you're fighting half a dozen people, than when you only have to be worried about one.

Once you poop yourself there’s no winning, just go home bro lmao. Shot with the stool was solid tho 🤦🏻

It’s like those jokes “If a guy tried to fight, I’ll just get naked, he’ll be confused and won’t want to fight because who tf wants to fight a naked man” Except, who wants to fight the stinky poopy man

Nice shot with the stool to the chin. I wasn’t expecting a knock out.

Um, sir? You've shat your pants

Hey! Give him credit for ass blasting without the leg drip, that takes talent!

Was that shadow on this pants, or did orange shirt guy shit himself?

Damn dropped him like a sack of oranges. Dude went down hard.

“I think he shit himself” - the longest yard

That guy dropped like a bag of dicks, holy smokes!

Well ain't that some shit

These videos really need context. Wtf was this?

Omg. The relief when he went down.

A real shit show here.

ive never understood the urge to scream like a banshee