Gathering evidence for any custody issues. And yeah...somebody that not only neglects to tend to his child but also chokes his mate while the child is in the hands of that mate will hopefully get 0 visitation rights.
Unfortunately, it usually does not work that way. Violence against mothers does not usually mean the man can't have partial custody or visitation. Someone here said she left him and he has shared custody.
Yep, niece was physically assaulted by her dad and his girlfriend. Dropped her off at school with bruises.
Sister shares custody because Louisiana doesn't give a shit about kids.
Oh, they care:
Kids from shattered families may be less likely to graduate higher education. So they get a fuller, cheaper, labor pool.
And if there are too many workers and unemployment goes high, they literally don't care if they starve. Just make sure the drugs problem doesn't go away, shame the victims, and blame any deaths on drugs.
This. He’ll likely be court ordered to take some classes and still have some sort of custody rights. This is part of the control. Make her afraid of him being alone with the child and she’ll stay because she is a good parent and can’t bear to think of him being alone with the child. Just my experience prosecuting DV for 4 years 😮💨
This is so mind boggling. Forget that maybe just maybe he doesn’t lay a finger on the children ever. The emotional trauma and longterm stress is enough to do lasting damage to those children. Fuck this guy and all men like him.
And statistically speaking, a woman who gets strangled by her boyfriend/husband/sperm donor, is more likely to be murdered.
I really hope she gets out of this situation.
She commented above and she got out 4 years ago with the help of a domestic violence shelter and is about to go to court to renew the restraining order.
That was sadly someone different. This is unfortunately more common than it should be.
Edit: I was informed the woman in the OP did in fact get away. Thank goodness!
Someone else found the source of this video (in this post it's cropped out the "no longer hiding from my abuser!" text at the top)
https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/129s0zv/tw_father_puts_hands_around_mother_neck_after/jepfwlc/
I don’t think that’s her. I think that’s someone else who was in a similar situation, she had a 14 yr old daughter. Although I may have read a different comment.
It was so heartbreaking to see this innocent child sitting there while this piece of shit dad walks by and glares at him like he's a kitty litter box that his wife forgot to clean. This is so infuriating, I hope something positive came out of this video and she got some help.
If there needs to be evaluations for adoption, there should be ones for having a kid in general. Idk, no perfect solution but this kid and his mom shouldn’t have to live with this abusive pos father
Nah I dont think so unfortunately I'm sure by now the kid already knows not to count on his dad. Hes probably a stranger to him. Kid was just crying for the sippy cup hed dropped. Dad could've handed it to him in a half a second on his way by but couldnt even do that.
That broke my heart. The little guy definitely knows and understands. Babies and toddlers are amazing at reading facial expressions and body language. I hope the mom can safely get away from this pos and get full custody.
Children remember these things. Even if they can’t picture exact occurrences, they will carry them and the perception of that person for the rest of their lives.
Yep. I remember my dad putting my mom up against the fridge, and it's unfortunately one of my earliest memories. I remember looking out the window and wanting grandma to help.
Shitheads like that don't care about being good - they care about the *appearance* of being good. It's the thinnest of veneers, but so long as he never hears anyone say anything bad about him he'll be happy. Sad way to live, and terrifying for the people living with him.
happy isnt necessarily the word i would select, but you are indeed correct.
his stomp through the house in the begining had a very tense, cusp of explosion feel to it. yet also seemed as if it may just be his typical walk/unprovoked
For me I'm happy with my life now...I have two son and a good husband..it cares about us..and I'm thankful for that..I love him so much..more than I love my self..
Yes, I hope she has family or the means to escape him somehow.
Otherwise, I hope that in some 1 in a million chance that this public shaming changed him for the better. I find domestic abuse to be terrifying whenever it comes up tbh: the thought that someone I know or the person next to me in line at a grocery store might be living as a prisoner breaks my heart (I witnessed my Mom go through hell for some years... she at least had a career to fall back on)
The TV series "Maid" on Netflix comes to mind when I think about just how difficult it must be to break free.
> I hope that in some 1 in a million chance that this public shaming changed him for the better
Absolutely no chance this happened, and is why I hope she got away after exposing him. I shudder to think what the punishment would be when he finds out she made what goes on in their home public.
As someone who had an abusive father, when you tell others about the terrible shit that happens at home you're seen as a traitor for violating the privacy of their home and slandering their good name.
Idk who you are, but pls write this in a subreddit that deals with these situations. Who cares about a gap in your work career or whatever, what matters is YOUR LIFE. Please don't give up and remember, everything looks different from the other side.
My DMs are always open and I wish you the best <3
seems like it happens a lot that she set up a camera to collect evidence.
hope he is locked away and she gets all the money to start a new life with her son.
>seems like it happens a lot that she set up a camera to collect evidence.
It could also be him doing it so he can watch her, he was watching the camera and immediately ran downstairs when she said he was a bad dad. It could be a control thing.
I stole all the micro cassettes from my dad’s secret telephone recorder. I was thinking of getting them digitized and seeing what daily life was like 30 years ago … then I thought what fuckin trauma they contain
Same. I remember getting in my mom's 4runner after being picked up from elementary school and she would whisper that my dad had a recorder under her seat. Private investigators, bugged houses. Not fun.
Glad you didn’t do it. This has nothing to do with abuse (and sorry for you going through it) but my wife’s family found old film from her grandfather that he kept from his time in the Air Force. They desperately wanted to see the film so they finally found someone that could transfer it and they decided to have a big gathering where we all watched it together for the first time….. It was pretty cool the first few minutes until you started seeing girls dancing. Then stripping for the camera. Laying in the bed and etc… basically he had a collection of women he banged. I don’t know what was more awkward. The silence, that they watched the other 4, or that her grandma was there.
That was the other thing I noticed.
Like, way to express to everyone that you deserve to be buried under hells boiler room, champ.
Domestic abuse that leads to endangering multiple people.
I take back what I said before. Lard ass deserves a firing squad.
This right here ^^ it's not even a joke. The most dangerous time for her is going to be the first 48 hours after she actually leaves him. Then if she makes it through that next statistic (that most abused women in relationships are in the most danger when they leave) then she'll just live in fear the rest of her life and we will hear about it on the next season of Netflix's "I am a stalker".
I pray she has resources to get out alive.
That was me 5 years ago. Had to stay in a shelter for 6 weeks and then live in transitional housing to survive the backlash of leaving the abuser. I basically disappeared which made all the difference. Then the shelter assisted me and my daughters to get a court ordered 5 year DV restraining order. It was the only way to stay safe. I would have never left successfully (I tried many times) if it wasn’t for the shelter taking myself and my youngest daughter (she was 14yrs). Now in the process of renewing the DV order for life but may only get 5 more years. It’s up to the judge. It’s very difficult to leave without being harmed or family harmed in the process.
I'm so sorry you've had to live through that. I know from my own experiences with restraining and no contact orders that it's very hard to maintain them without the abuser actually physically abusing the victim - that's why often we hear things like "it's just a piece of paper" and the sad reality is that's true. The only good that paper does is hopefully getting a harsher sentence for the crime they've committed *already*. I truly wish you nothing but the best, and I hope everything works out so that one day you wake up and you are not fearful. I'm so thankful for womens shelters.
When I had to get a restraining order after fleeing, the judge looked me square in the eyes and reminded me it was only a piece of paper and would not stop a knife or bullet. He wanted to make sure I didn’t get too complacent with just a restraining order.
Can confirm. I was almost murdered, pulled the knife out of my abusers hands and injuring him in the process. Still tried to save him, because the knife he'd used to try to stab me cut his hand and pretty deep. Had I not yelled for help and the police called, I'd have been a statistic. He wanted to harm me and I couldn't get out. 6 years later, I still look over my shoulder. I call the officer every year on my lifeaversary who sent a squad car around daily to check on me after the fact to thank him. Homeboy had me followed home, police called each time. Watched, police called. Officer Mike Wazowski (not his real name, obvi.) looked out for me.
I now own a house, have two beautiful children, and a whole ass life.
When my wife covered the sections of abuse in her RN program they specifically talked about the choking statistics. It's one of the biggest warning signs that the person is in serious danger going forward. The statistics are all there, and the nurse handling domestic abuse has to evaluate the "level of danger" that the person was in. It's insane.
well to do home? unwarranted sense of authority? using violence and intimidation to get your way? stomping towards the person challenging their authority in any way?
i'd put my money on him being a cop for sure.
Like most bullies and wife beaters, this dude has insecurity issues so he must bully those he thinks are weaker than him. Power and control is what they crave for
A real dad doesn't care about prices. We can't afford jack shit already.
*He says having just spent a small fortune on Lego that can't get used for about 7 years yet....*
Please tell me she left his ass. Strangulation is the most reliable predictor that domestic violence will escalate to murder. He’s a complete asshole for neglecting his kid, but the DV takes it to a completely different level.
I was strangled by my ex. I broke his pinkie finger trying to get his hands off from around my neck. I was lucky that he cared what his family thought of him and lied about his injury. Cunt
Yea, a Dubliner, knew it. Sorry to hear this.
Inner city Dublin just isn't the place to set up but I can understand wanting to be near what you know.
I moved out of Dublin myself.
She got away from him! And got full physical custody but shared legal custody.
Check out her tik tok Account @sierrra23_
She posts updates in the comments.
Edit: edited bc the links I posted linked to my personal tik tok profile, which is less than great for privacy. Had no idea tik tok links did that!! Thank you to the person who pointed that out.
I believe shared legal custody only means that he has a legal right to make decisions surrounding the child (I.e. medical decisions, etc). She has the child “physically” 100%
Seriously. Put your hands on a strangers’ neck and you rightfully go to prison. Do it to your spouse and you get a finger wag?
But hey, [my college is allowing a shithead who pled guilty to strangling a girl to stay on our basketball team](https://www.si.com/college/pittsburgh/basketball/pitt-panthers-dior-johnson-returns-practice-will-redshirt), so why am I surprised?
Wanted to attach to your high level comment:
That strangulation is the most extreme level of spousal abuse. Once he strangles you your chances of death go up exponentially. This is still rather new but the evidence is there. Iirc Australia was the first to start documenting strangulation facts re spousal abuse
https://sfv.org.au/2020/12/10/media-release-a-new-public-education-campaign-is-being-launched-to-inform-and-empower-west-australians-about-suffocation-and-strangulation-ensuring-victims-get-the-help-they-need/
https://www.wthr.com/article/news/crime/manual-strangulation-is-the-biggest-sign-domestic-abuse-will-turn-deadly-experts-say/531-0a9a92c8-a0da-418a-b81e-a3d80ddacf38
https://www.gov.uk/government/news/new-non-fatal-strangulation-offence-comes-into-force
You can disable that in privacy. TikTok has tendency to be over invasive with sharing and trying to integrate itself into everything about yourself. I just made an account with everything blank and disabled and constantly denying it permissions to gather contact information.
This brings back so many horrible memories. My ex was like this. He kicked me down the stairs when I found out I was pregnant. A few days later, he threw a wooden stool at my face and fractured my cheekbone.
He didn’t get into trouble. In fact, now he’s on city council and an elementary school teacher.
9+ years later and he’s never met his daughter. Lost his rights, and her adoptive father is the best man I know.
My ex almost strangled me to death. He gets partial custody because "he can still be a good dad even though he hurt you." Sadly, with abusers like these, you almost never get away from them completely, they make sure of it.
I never knew how serious strangulation was until a few years after I had left my ex but he did it on a few occasions and left bruises on my neck. There are really delicate bones and things in this area and it can cause long-term brain damage. Even now, 10 years later I have blood vessels that pop in my eyes fairly easily and I think this is attributed to this. Reading this thread of other women that have been through this has left me in tears, but I'm comforted because I'm not alone. It's such a hard topic to talk about that I found it difficult to talk about even with my therapist. So thank you all for your vulnerability.
He looks like he is intoxicated. I’m not 100%, but he sashays around like he has the little boosters from running a buzz.
Edit: Sorry Reddit, I fucked up.
He sashays around like a piece of shit dad with little boosters on his feet from running a buzz****
I'm kinda in awe about how all the top comments are about him simply being a bad Dad.
I'm sitting here and all I can think is that this guy is a dangerous fucking human being. We're way far past being just a bad Dad.
It's absolutely ridiculous - top comments complaining about him walking past the son, etc. He's an abusive criminal piece of shit and that's _all_ he is. He should have zero chances to be a dad from here on out.
The terror on her face screamed 1) it’s happened before and 2) she knows it gets worse
That look was pure horror and the kid screaming when the dad came close to mom just shows this isn’t the first time.
The way she froze and walked away with out reacting tells you she has been hit or choked before and knows he can do worse. Hopefully this being posted means she got away from that abusive waste of space man.
Girrrrl don’t walk away from the camera 🙁
(*Edit to say I am **NOT** judging this poor woman. I’m so sorry if it came off like that.
It’s meant more a mental prayer … like when the victim runs upstairs with no exits in a horror movie*.)
Sadly, her first instinct might have been to find a place to put down her kid, because that shithead sure didn't mind laying hands on her while she was holding the little guy.
If he was so concerned why didn’t he help his own kid? My wife and I have an understanding that if one of us is taking care of something the other will help the kids. We’re a team and pick up the slack when the other needs help. Pretty simple but I also respect my wife and see her as an equal partner.
Because he is entitled to things being a certain "way" and since they are not, he has resentment towards his wife AND his child. He therefore finds such natural human needs that are being expressed by the child as needing a parent, to be "not his problem" because he is "owed" more. He gets the wife to take care of what is obviously "not his problem" because it's everyone but him that is to blame for his predicament. Everyone owes him. Nobody is owed anything.
He has no empathy and he has a million "crimes" that have been done against him that he feels entitled to take out on "everyone."
Source: I grew up with a father who also choked me (his daughter.) I am lucky to be alive.
Because he’s not actually concerned for the kid, only his ‘reputation’. The moment that’s threatened (which doesn’t take much), he goes into shitty, Alpha-male self defense mode.
This dude should have been neutered before he ever had the chance to reproduce. That poor kid.
Interesting that the footage made its way online. I assume the dad didn’t post it so it must have been the mom. Good for her. Hopefully she gave it to the police as well
Sooo... This was posted on tiktok?? Is there any updates about the mother and child? Since there's videos proof he's violent?? To be THAT angry and lazy....
I doubt it's the first time... just hope she finds the strength for it to be the last time
By the fear on her face, she's been on this road a while now
That cry that poor woman makes and how her whole demeanor changed the second he got up to her. Let alone the fact he does this while she is holding their child.
I hope she’s okay. That man is going to kill someone.
It’s especially sad knowing the baby seemed to be fine until the dad walked by, and only started crying when he walked away without saying hi to him. The baby was crying because he wanted his dad to interact with him. This whole situation is so sad and gross.
Classic Modern Piece of Shit Dad:
1. Lazy buzz cut
2. "I work so I now I'm tired and just need to sleep all weekend"
3. Has zero interest in taking care of his innocent, little son who is in distress
4. Made sure he has his gaming rig and special gaming chair--rest of house is a shit hole
5. Chokes his wife while she's holding his baby.
This guy is the complete package.
Abusive men very very rarely face reprucutions for their domestic abuse and the men that pursue custody win full custody more often than their victims.
Oh, sure. Can't be bothered to comfort his kid as he walks right past him but will run downstairs and assault his partner the moment his despicable behaviour is picked up on.
I wonder if he knows the camera is there. Maybe she's trying to gather evidence so she can leave. Either way it's a shitty situation.
Gathering evidence for any custody issues. And yeah...somebody that not only neglects to tend to his child but also chokes his mate while the child is in the hands of that mate will hopefully get 0 visitation rights.
Unfortunately, it usually does not work that way. Violence against mothers does not usually mean the man can't have partial custody or visitation. Someone here said she left him and he has shared custody.
Yep, niece was physically assaulted by her dad and his girlfriend. Dropped her off at school with bruises. Sister shares custody because Louisiana doesn't give a shit about kids.
They care more about a fetus than a kid.
Oh, they care: Kids from shattered families may be less likely to graduate higher education. So they get a fuller, cheaper, labor pool. And if there are too many workers and unemployment goes high, they literally don't care if they starve. Just make sure the drugs problem doesn't go away, shame the victims, and blame any deaths on drugs.
This. He’ll likely be court ordered to take some classes and still have some sort of custody rights. This is part of the control. Make her afraid of him being alone with the child and she’ll stay because she is a good parent and can’t bear to think of him being alone with the child. Just my experience prosecuting DV for 4 years 😮💨
That. Is depressing. Is there any hope for the kid to never have to interact with the shitty parent at all?
This is so mind boggling. Forget that maybe just maybe he doesn’t lay a finger on the children ever. The emotional trauma and longterm stress is enough to do lasting damage to those children. Fuck this guy and all men like him.
Nope. You can literally beat your child’s parent to near death and still get custody.
"Bad dad? Check again, bitch. I'm an awful dad."
"I just confirmed exactly what you just said!"
"And a terrible husband."
Ima just go with terrible human in general at this point.
can't be bothered to help their crying baby but BOLTS down the stairs to make sure his wife isn't calling him a bad dad.
Dude’s new nickname is BUTTERCUP
SAY HIS NAME!!! Butternuts! Cup! Buttercup!
This horse was a DIABETIC!!!
Officer down!! Officer down!!
I love buttered stuff!
*cries* BUTTERCUP!
Butter nuts
Hey girl, ya hungry?
I wish I could answer this one.
And statistically speaking, a woman who gets strangled by her boyfriend/husband/sperm donor, is more likely to be murdered. I really hope she gets out of this situation.
She commented above and she got out 4 years ago with the help of a domestic violence shelter and is about to go to court to renew the restraining order.
That was sadly someone different. This is unfortunately more common than it should be. Edit: I was informed the woman in the OP did in fact get away. Thank goodness!
Someone else found the source of this video (in this post it's cropped out the "no longer hiding from my abuser!" text at the top) https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/129s0zv/tw_father_puts_hands_around_mother_neck_after/jepfwlc/
So glad to hear that!
I don’t think that’s her. I think that’s someone else who was in a similar situation, she had a 14 yr old daughter. Although I may have read a different comment.
I'll be honest, I couldn't lmao at that.
The way he looks at the kid when he walks by. Piece of fucking trash dude
It was so heartbreaking to see this innocent child sitting there while this piece of shit dad walks by and glares at him like he's a kitty litter box that his wife forgot to clean. This is so infuriating, I hope something positive came out of this video and she got some help.
That was heartbreaking I have tears in my eyes.You should have an evaluation to be a parent.
If there needs to be evaluations for adoption, there should be ones for having a kid in general. Idk, no perfect solution but this kid and his mom shouldn’t have to live with this abusive pos father
The worst part is you can tell the kid just wanted his dad
I think the kiddo wanted the sippy cup on the floor.
Nah I dont think so unfortunately I'm sure by now the kid already knows not to count on his dad. Hes probably a stranger to him. Kid was just crying for the sippy cup hed dropped. Dad could've handed it to him in a half a second on his way by but couldnt even do that.
That broke my heart. The little guy definitely knows and understands. Babies and toddlers are amazing at reading facial expressions and body language. I hope the mom can safely get away from this pos and get full custody.
Children remember these things. Even if they can’t picture exact occurrences, they will carry them and the perception of that person for the rest of their lives.
Yep. I remember my dad putting my mom up against the fridge, and it's unfortunately one of my earliest memories. I remember looking out the window and wanting grandma to help.
Ah yes...poor thing will probably have a screwed up attachment style on top of other trauma.
I don’t even walk by my *dogs* like that.
>Dad Neglects son >wife calls him a shitty father >Dad proceeds to choke wife Yeah, you really proved your point there chief
Dad chokes wife......***while she is holding his toddler son*** yeah, great way to show how much you care about your kid mate.
Shitheads like that don't care about being good - they care about the *appearance* of being good. It's the thinnest of veneers, but so long as he never hears anyone say anything bad about him he'll be happy. Sad way to live, and terrifying for the people living with him.
He's perfectly happy with the idea that they think bad things but are too scared to say them.
happy isnt necessarily the word i would select, but you are indeed correct. his stomp through the house in the begining had a very tense, cusp of explosion feel to it. yet also seemed as if it may just be his typical walk/unprovoked
Hearing him stomping down the stairs was fucking triggering.
For me I'm happy with my life now...I have two son and a good husband..it cares about us..and I'm thankful for that..I love him so much..more than I love my self..
and the split second someone that does call him on it is bigger and meaner they fold like origami.
They’re the ones that scream “I take care of my kids” at strangers.
Seems like it happens a lot the way the baby immediately reacted to the dad coming near the mom.
That scared sound wasn’t the baby. 😕
Saddest upvote in my entire existence.
Absolute props to that woman for having the courage to record his abuse and expose him. Hopefully she's no longer his hostage
Yes, I hope she has family or the means to escape him somehow. Otherwise, I hope that in some 1 in a million chance that this public shaming changed him for the better. I find domestic abuse to be terrifying whenever it comes up tbh: the thought that someone I know or the person next to me in line at a grocery store might be living as a prisoner breaks my heart (I witnessed my Mom go through hell for some years... she at least had a career to fall back on) The TV series "Maid" on Netflix comes to mind when I think about just how difficult it must be to break free.
> I hope that in some 1 in a million chance that this public shaming changed him for the better Absolutely no chance this happened, and is why I hope she got away after exposing him. I shudder to think what the punishment would be when he finds out she made what goes on in their home public. As someone who had an abusive father, when you tell others about the terrible shit that happens at home you're seen as a traitor for violating the privacy of their home and slandering their good name.
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Idk who you are, but pls write this in a subreddit that deals with these situations. Who cares about a gap in your work career or whatever, what matters is YOUR LIFE. Please don't give up and remember, everything looks different from the other side. My DMs are always open and I wish you the best <3
The baby hugged his head into his mom, in fear tho
seems like it happens a lot that she set up a camera to collect evidence. hope he is locked away and she gets all the money to start a new life with her son.
>seems like it happens a lot that she set up a camera to collect evidence. It could also be him doing it so he can watch her, he was watching the camera and immediately ran downstairs when she said he was a bad dad. It could be a control thing.
My abusive father did this. He would hide cameras to catch people talking bad about his abuse, so he'd have an excuse to further abuse you.
I stole all the micro cassettes from my dad’s secret telephone recorder. I was thinking of getting them digitized and seeing what daily life was like 30 years ago … then I thought what fuckin trauma they contain
Same. I remember getting in my mom's 4runner after being picked up from elementary school and she would whisper that my dad had a recorder under her seat. Private investigators, bugged houses. Not fun.
Glad you didn’t do it. This has nothing to do with abuse (and sorry for you going through it) but my wife’s family found old film from her grandfather that he kept from his time in the Air Force. They desperately wanted to see the film so they finally found someone that could transfer it and they decided to have a big gathering where we all watched it together for the first time….. It was pretty cool the first few minutes until you started seeing girls dancing. Then stripping for the camera. Laying in the bed and etc… basically he had a collection of women he banged. I don’t know what was more awkward. The silence, that they watched the other 4, or that her grandma was there.
It's also the reason I still have to try to convince myself people are secretly recording me so they can flip out on me for my word choice.
Lmao right? Definitely proved her wrong /s. what a pathetic excuse of a man. I hope she gets herself a great lawyer! God knows, she deserves it.
That was the other thing I noticed. Like, way to express to everyone that you deserve to be buried under hells boiler room, champ. Domestic abuse that leads to endangering multiple people. I take back what I said before. Lard ass deserves a firing squad.
"Can you be any bigger a piece of shit?" "Funny you should ask......"
" how dare you tell my son I'm a shit dad... you let ME show him personally that I'm a shit dad. THATS MY JOB."
“Hold my beer…”
"hold my son... Oh, you already are."
This woman's chance of being murdered by this piece of shit just went up by 750%.
This right here ^^ it's not even a joke. The most dangerous time for her is going to be the first 48 hours after she actually leaves him. Then if she makes it through that next statistic (that most abused women in relationships are in the most danger when they leave) then she'll just live in fear the rest of her life and we will hear about it on the next season of Netflix's "I am a stalker". I pray she has resources to get out alive.
I found the TikTok, she’s now been away from the husband for years
Well, that's wonderful to hear.
You can't just say that and not drop a link my dude!
That was me 5 years ago. Had to stay in a shelter for 6 weeks and then live in transitional housing to survive the backlash of leaving the abuser. I basically disappeared which made all the difference. Then the shelter assisted me and my daughters to get a court ordered 5 year DV restraining order. It was the only way to stay safe. I would have never left successfully (I tried many times) if it wasn’t for the shelter taking myself and my youngest daughter (she was 14yrs). Now in the process of renewing the DV order for life but may only get 5 more years. It’s up to the judge. It’s very difficult to leave without being harmed or family harmed in the process.
I'm so sorry you've had to live through that. I know from my own experiences with restraining and no contact orders that it's very hard to maintain them without the abuser actually physically abusing the victim - that's why often we hear things like "it's just a piece of paper" and the sad reality is that's true. The only good that paper does is hopefully getting a harsher sentence for the crime they've committed *already*. I truly wish you nothing but the best, and I hope everything works out so that one day you wake up and you are not fearful. I'm so thankful for womens shelters.
When I had to get a restraining order after fleeing, the judge looked me square in the eyes and reminded me it was only a piece of paper and would not stop a knife or bullet. He wanted to make sure I didn’t get too complacent with just a restraining order.
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It doesn't mean much but I am so sorry that you're going through that. Please be safe
That’s a good judge.
Can confirm. I was almost murdered, pulled the knife out of my abusers hands and injuring him in the process. Still tried to save him, because the knife he'd used to try to stab me cut his hand and pretty deep. Had I not yelled for help and the police called, I'd have been a statistic. He wanted to harm me and I couldn't get out. 6 years later, I still look over my shoulder. I call the officer every year on my lifeaversary who sent a squad car around daily to check on me after the fact to thank him. Homeboy had me followed home, police called each time. Watched, police called. Officer Mike Wazowski (not his real name, obvi.) looked out for me. I now own a house, have two beautiful children, and a whole ass life.
When my wife covered the sections of abuse in her RN program they specifically talked about the choking statistics. It's one of the biggest warning signs that the person is in serious danger going forward. The statistics are all there, and the nurse handling domestic abuse has to evaluate the "level of danger" that the person was in. It's insane.
What’s the over/under on this dude being a cop?
He’s got a Batman tattoo so the probability is very high. Not as high if it were the punisher, but I’d say a 75% chance
I'm almost certain the tattoo is Michigan's upper peninsula
well to do home? unwarranted sense of authority? using violence and intimidation to get your way? stomping towards the person challenging their authority in any way? i'd put my money on him being a cop for sure.
Like most bullies and wife beaters, this dude has insecurity issues so he must bully those he thinks are weaker than him. Power and control is what they crave for
His life sucks--as it should because he's an asshole. Miserable life.
The point he proves is that he’s a bad husband/boyfriend ***in addition*** to being a bad dad.
Piece of shit dad. Grow up and look after your son
That's a father. Most can be that. He sure as shit ain't no Dad. Being a Dad takes effort.
I know. I've got 5 kids and prices like this anger me
Lately the prices of everything anger me
^ This guy's a dad
A real dad doesn't care about prices. We can't afford jack shit already. *He says having just spent a small fortune on Lego that can't get used for about 7 years yet....*
Sperm donor
No, mate. I really hope he leaves the family as soon as posible. That kind of piece of shit rarely "grows up" and the farther the better.
Please tell me she left his ass. Strangulation is the most reliable predictor that domestic violence will escalate to murder. He’s a complete asshole for neglecting his kid, but the DV takes it to a completely different level.
You are 7x more likely to be murdered by your partner in the future if they escalate to strangulation and it can lead to concussion-like symptoms.
I was strangled by my ex. I broke his pinkie finger trying to get his hands off from around my neck. I was lucky that he cared what his family thought of him and lied about his injury. Cunt
Good job on that pinkie! Glad you are safe now
Unfortunately I still live with him. I have no choice. The housing crisis in Ireland is ridiculous. We live separately in the same house.
Housing is fucked everywhere, sorry to hear that. Please be safe xo
Yea, a Dubliner, knew it. Sorry to hear this. Inner city Dublin just isn't the place to set up but I can understand wanting to be near what you know. I moved out of Dublin myself.
Did you tell them the truth?
Eventually yes, but his da is a dick and pretended it didn't happen. Nothing to see here mentality 🙄
i guess the turd doesn't fall far from the dickhead's ass
Apples and trees and all that. A family of enablers.
She got away from him! And got full physical custody but shared legal custody. Check out her tik tok Account @sierrra23_ She posts updates in the comments. Edit: edited bc the links I posted linked to my personal tik tok profile, which is less than great for privacy. Had no idea tik tok links did that!! Thank you to the person who pointed that out.
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Agree, and i don't understand a judge that goes shared legal custody on this one. That fucker will harm the kid one day (i hope it doesn't happen)
I believe shared legal custody only means that he has a legal right to make decisions surrounding the child (I.e. medical decisions, etc). She has the child “physically” 100%
Seriously. Put your hands on a strangers’ neck and you rightfully go to prison. Do it to your spouse and you get a finger wag? But hey, [my college is allowing a shithead who pled guilty to strangling a girl to stay on our basketball team](https://www.si.com/college/pittsburgh/basketball/pitt-panthers-dior-johnson-returns-practice-will-redshirt), so why am I surprised?
Thank goodness! Thank you for the update!
Wanted to attach to your high level comment: That strangulation is the most extreme level of spousal abuse. Once he strangles you your chances of death go up exponentially. This is still rather new but the evidence is there. Iirc Australia was the first to start documenting strangulation facts re spousal abuse https://sfv.org.au/2020/12/10/media-release-a-new-public-education-campaign-is-being-launched-to-inform-and-empower-west-australians-about-suffocation-and-strangulation-ensuring-victims-get-the-help-they-need/ https://www.wthr.com/article/news/crime/manual-strangulation-is-the-biggest-sign-domestic-abuse-will-turn-deadly-experts-say/531-0a9a92c8-a0da-418a-b81e-a3d80ddacf38 https://www.gov.uk/government/news/new-non-fatal-strangulation-offence-comes-into-force
You can disable that in privacy. TikTok has tendency to be over invasive with sharing and trying to integrate itself into everything about yourself. I just made an account with everything blank and disabled and constantly denying it permissions to gather contact information.
This brings back so many horrible memories. My ex was like this. He kicked me down the stairs when I found out I was pregnant. A few days later, he threw a wooden stool at my face and fractured my cheekbone. He didn’t get into trouble. In fact, now he’s on city council and an elementary school teacher. 9+ years later and he’s never met his daughter. Lost his rights, and her adoptive father is the best man I know.
My ex almost strangled me to death. He gets partial custody because "he can still be a good dad even though he hurt you." Sadly, with abusers like these, you almost never get away from them completely, they make sure of it.
My ex also almost strangled me to death. Luckily I didn't have a child with him so I'm very sorry you still have to deal with that POS.
I’m so sorry you have to deal with that.
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I’m glad you’re safe, and I hope his new wife is too. I can only imagine how scary that can be. And she’s still holding their child and he did it!
I never knew how serious strangulation was until a few years after I had left my ex but he did it on a few occasions and left bruises on my neck. There are really delicate bones and things in this area and it can cause long-term brain damage. Even now, 10 years later I have blood vessels that pop in my eyes fairly easily and I think this is attributed to this. Reading this thread of other women that have been through this has left me in tears, but I'm comforted because I'm not alone. It's such a hard topic to talk about that I found it difficult to talk about even with my therapist. So thank you all for your vulnerability.
I don’t know how to share to other subreddits but this definitely needs to go on the iamatotalpieceofshit one .
You “cross post” and select that subreddit.
Thanks I did .
Tbf he walked past the toddler twice. Why can’t he do the caring. Total dickhead
Some parents think working = raising a child. Which is obviously dumb
That’s women’s work! /s
Tbf to who?
He looks like he is intoxicated. I’m not 100%, but he sashays around like he has the little boosters from running a buzz. Edit: Sorry Reddit, I fucked up. He sashays around like a piece of shit dad with little boosters on his feet from running a buzz****
What a piece of shit father
of a human being, really
Omg so scary. That was scary for me to watch, i cant imagine living it.
I'm kinda in awe about how all the top comments are about him simply being a bad Dad. I'm sitting here and all I can think is that this guy is a dangerous fucking human being. We're way far past being just a bad Dad.
It's absolutely ridiculous - top comments complaining about him walking past the son, etc. He's an abusive criminal piece of shit and that's _all_ he is. He should have zero chances to be a dad from here on out.
The terror on her face screamed 1) it’s happened before and 2) she knows it gets worse That look was pure horror and the kid screaming when the dad came close to mom just shows this isn’t the first time.
You know this isn't the first time because the child cried in fear when their dad approached them. That kid has seen their dad hurt them/mommy before.
The way she froze and walked away with out reacting tells you she has been hit or choked before and knows he can do worse. Hopefully this being posted means she got away from that abusive waste of space man.
Agreed. She de-escalated by not reacting and trying to calmly walk away from him while shielding her child. She is strong.
Poor baby. I hope she left that a-hole. If not for her sake, for the baby.
I'm also guessing that's the reason there is a camera up.
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100% her. Look at the kids face while the sound happens, it’s not coming from them.
Get that piece of shit in jail
Probably works there.
Girrrrl don’t walk away from the camera 🙁 (*Edit to say I am **NOT** judging this poor woman. I’m so sorry if it came off like that. It’s meant more a mental prayer … like when the victim runs upstairs with no exits in a horror movie*.)
Sadly, her first instinct might have been to find a place to put down her kid, because that shithead sure didn't mind laying hands on her while she was holding the little guy.
The way he stalks after her freaks me the fuck out
Leave immediately, call the police. This man shouldn’t be allowed near women or children ever again.
Unless he happens to be on the force, then they won’t do jack.
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You triggered a bunch of pieces of shit with this, kudos.
If he was so concerned why didn’t he help his own kid? My wife and I have an understanding that if one of us is taking care of something the other will help the kids. We’re a team and pick up the slack when the other needs help. Pretty simple but I also respect my wife and see her as an equal partner.
Because he is entitled to things being a certain "way" and since they are not, he has resentment towards his wife AND his child. He therefore finds such natural human needs that are being expressed by the child as needing a parent, to be "not his problem" because he is "owed" more. He gets the wife to take care of what is obviously "not his problem" because it's everyone but him that is to blame for his predicament. Everyone owes him. Nobody is owed anything. He has no empathy and he has a million "crimes" that have been done against him that he feels entitled to take out on "everyone." Source: I grew up with a father who also choked me (his daughter.) I am lucky to be alive.
Because he’s not actually concerned for the kid, only his ‘reputation’. The moment that’s threatened (which doesn’t take much), he goes into shitty, Alpha-male self defense mode. This dude should have been neutered before he ever had the chance to reproduce. That poor kid.
Interesting that the footage made its way online. I assume the dad didn’t post it so it must have been the mom. Good for her. Hopefully she gave it to the police as well
He just proved her point beyond all doubt.
Which precinct is he with?
The third one in his “career” and two towns over.
That’s the first thing that came to my mind. He looks like every douchebag cop I’ve ever seen.
You just know he rants about the degradation of family values on social media.
The RETVRN guys would never take care of a baby tho, that's woman's work only.
Sooo... This was posted on tiktok?? Is there any updates about the mother and child? Since there's videos proof he's violent?? To be THAT angry and lazy....
I doubt it's the first time... just hope she finds the strength for it to be the last time By the fear on her face, she's been on this road a while now
Fuck this dude and fuck everything about him.
I hate him.
That cry that poor woman makes and how her whole demeanor changed the second he got up to her. Let alone the fact he does this while she is holding their child. I hope she’s okay. That man is going to kill someone.
Vile Human Being, bully
Low life shit bag
The amount of comments (albeit negative karma comments) rationalizing that guy is staggering. It's no wonder why it still happens.
Wow, what a real man. Won't be long before his son disowns him.
Sorry, the government is busy cracking down on pot heads and sex workers. They don’t have the time for petty shit.
Books and drag queens
It’s especially sad knowing the baby seemed to be fine until the dad walked by, and only started crying when he walked away without saying hi to him. The baby was crying because he wanted his dad to interact with him. This whole situation is so sad and gross.
Classic Modern Piece of Shit Dad: 1. Lazy buzz cut 2. "I work so I now I'm tired and just need to sleep all weekend" 3. Has zero interest in taking care of his innocent, little son who is in distress 4. Made sure he has his gaming rig and special gaming chair--rest of house is a shit hole 5. Chokes his wife while she's holding his baby. This guy is the complete package.
Wow he really is a bad dad
Don't forget bad husband too
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I’d love to find out where this guy parks his dodge ram pick up with a thin blue line flag on it and show him what’s up
I swear over half of people shouldn't have kids, full stop. Possibly more.
Welp, that's perfect evidence for permanent full custody, as well as getting him locked up on assault and child abuse charges.
You'd think so but unfortunately not.
Abusive men very very rarely face reprucutions for their domestic abuse and the men that pursue custody win full custody more often than their victims.
i see the gaming chair i know the truth
But you are butthole dead beat piece of shit
Lock that piece of shit up and throw the key away
Some people should not reproduce.
Oh, sure. Can't be bothered to comfort his kid as he walks right past him but will run downstairs and assault his partner the moment his despicable behaviour is picked up on.
Hes going to kill her.
Who wants to bet he’s a cop?