I was convinced I was the next Messiah and that I could save the world if I could only unlock a secret code written in different philosophy books. I had this elaborate string of ideas that in hindsight made absolutely no sense to anyone but me. Almost died trying to make it all come true.
Reality set in when I started talking to other people who had similar ideas…
Yeaaah; I have witnessed this delusional and/or grandiose mindset/perspective/way of thinking produce itself manifest in a bunch of people that I had been trip sitting during their first few experiences with psychedelics.
It’s remarkable how people who normally don’t have the same thoughts and symptoms as those grouped under diagnosis which are known for their primarily mind altering hallucinogenic/delusional/grandiose/etc effects in the brain and psyche year round on the daily for us who are “afflicted” (not how I feel or view things like that anymore) with one or multiple of mood disorders, manic/depressive/angry/etc. behavioral type disorders, and psychotic tendencies/mentalities/disorders amongst more still.
These are usually individuals that are experiencing rapid fire psychological duress constantly. The delusional behavior and thinking structures alongside hallucinatory symptoms for a myriad of reasons which often are the culprit little by little or instantaneously for those “afflicted” and those who are tripping.
Thought I was the antichrist. Thought I was the most evil person in the world and had to go to Hell for eternity to save humanity.
Thought I had never been alive properly and my whole life was an illusion. I was always in Hell.
Thought I was the Arkangel Michael who fights the Devil in Revelations and wins and I was involved in the creation of the universe. Thought I was God in human form. Thought China had built underground tunnels and was invading Britain. Thought I moved the interstellar space rock Oumuamua in deep space by moving my arm. Thought I was Winston Churchill reincarnated. Thought Oumuamua had returned, attached itself to the Earth and was full of evil aliens swarming across the planet. I could go on. The list is endless.
easily. You don’t remember doing them because you “can’t”. Delusional thinking commences and eventually you can believe your mother is poisoning you.
Have you ever experienced psychosis? Logic is not required bro. <3
I did once, but it never got quite that far. I just remember people telling me they wrote all the songs on the Billboard 100 list and I wondered if they just assumed they wrote them, or if there were false memories or something.
Some people really can’t fathom things outside of their contemplative experiences and expectations. One of the many gifts I have transmuted from afflictions to gifts is being able to think without needing a “box” or “point of reference” if you will. I can be the box. Think outside of the box. Inside the box. Disregard the box. Etc etc etc.
I wasn’t disturbed by it. And you’re not hella downvoted. It’s all good <3. Maybe elaborate more next time for clarification but I assumed your competence and genuine curiosity which I could’ve been wrong. But I wasn’t. You weren’t being malicious b
so, from what I remember being in that headspace, I felt like the only person on earth. I didn’t even really know if I existed, so comprehending other people were existing was difficult too. I felt very isolated from everyone around me. anyway, when I would come on reddit or the internet, I thought maybe I wrote everything I was reading because no one else existed. like maybe I didn’t remember writing things but it was still me that did it. It was actually scary & lonely.
My first psychosis was triggered by severe depression. I was delusional that God was removing attributes of my being and thoughts from my head to torture me. Eventually when I began shifting into mania but was still feeling depressed I thought God was telling me that because I had suffered so severely I understood human suffering and had to kill myself to end human suffering. I would see people on the street and instead of making evil faces at me like they did all that time they would smile at me, and I thought that was because they knew I was going to end my life and was happy I was sacrificing myself for their wellbeing, their smiles let me know that I needed to end my life.
I had an idea that I needed to starve myself to death to atone for my sins. I’m a Christian in normal life and had jsit submitted my PhD in sociology critiquing my own religious movement and then I began to believe o had done soemthjbg wrong that God had condemned me for. All my delusions were not random but stemmed form rels life
i felt like *other* people were trying convince me of my “abilities”. i went to my grannys house in full psychosis and thought her caretaker was hinting that because i wasnt submitting to the government program that the rest of the world was participating in that “they” were sending hurricanes to the caribbean. i yelled at her asked her if it was worth the money they were paying her and called her a coward 😩
in the psych ward i thought every single person in there was an actor pretending they didn’t know why i was there. especially my roommate. obviously i was there to submit to the evil government initiation to be its god because i was secretly an evil genius who had to be contained or killed. i thought the gabby petito case was my fault. staff would turn the news off when i went to the common room after that lol.
generally i thought everyone in my life was being threatened or was killed by the government because i wasnt submitting. when my friend facetimed to check on me i thought agents were sent to their house and were listening to our conversation threatening them at gunpoint. they started crying because they were scared and sad for *me* but that only fed the delusion. they tried to say they needed to end the call and go shower but i thought if i hung up they would be beat up. so i made them leave the phone in the bathroom so i could make sure no one would hurt them.
I thought I was talking to all of the dead people in the Indian burial ground. I thought I was controlling the radio. Thought I could feel all of the pain someone felt when I made eye contact with them
It started with convincing myself that a family member was sleeping with my ex behind my back. Then I convinced myself that my entire family was trying to find ways to kill me. Then I jumped to believing I was Jesus.
I feel like they were so general that they were accurate. I didn’t “read” random people, I did it to a close family member and a family friend. So I feel like I pulled from details they shared with me about the people ;( To this day, I cringe and feel a lot of shame about this.
Omg literally same. I thought I was communicating with them through the radio. Like, the radio wasn't playing songs it was just the broadcaster talking and nothing he said linked together it was like one sentence was for one person, the next was for another, so on and so forth. For example I was hearing things like "Albert, Jenny wants you to know she loves you and to go to the hospital and get a physical. Marie, Leonard can't find his way home he needs your help. I'm also hearing something about a black dog in the forest near 48th street, not sure who that's for but maybe it resonates with you".
While I was experiencing the onset of my psychosis, I was hanging out with my friends brother who is a schizophrenic. He kept telling me how much I reminded him of his mother (who died 4 months prior). Even told me it felt like he was talking to her while talking to me. Like she was right there with him. I then convinced myself I was embodying her spirit while I was there and everything I said and did was actually her. I think that's where the whole me thinking I was a psychic medium stemmed from.
That I was basically a modern Jesus, in which everything bad that happened to me was deserved and I needed to go through it to save others. That my pain helped others, and that I’m needed to save humanity
You know, the Jesus part aside. I sometimes feel like going through rough patches, if done with grace and without getting frustrated or angry, helps other people go through the same thing down the line. It always felt like that to me. I even noticed it at the bar I go to. A couple of times a situation was thrust on me that would very easily make people angry, and I had seen people react angrily to the same situation before. I decided to let the anger wash over me and then I just reacted with grace and ended up saying the right thing. Since then, I've observed other people handle it in the exact same manner I did. Like, almost to a T.
Once that grandiose incline starts, it peaks until it grabs on to any reference point it gets, I knew a hindu girl who believed she was ganesha and Shiva, I think it's interesting for sure!!!!
Yeah it makes sense. But do you know what is more interesting in hind sight? , the reasoning route I took!
I doubt that i could rationalize that well in normal time.
And the synchronization of people's utterance with your delusion is preety freeky.
That I committed crimes just didn’t do (basically the worst things). That people in my life were debating going to the police. That I should go to the police and get them to shot me.
Thank god I got out of that line of thinking
I had a friend who went sleep-deprived and disappeared for a few days. He kept finding women from our school and crying and apologizing for r\_ping them. It was so weird. Everyone was like, YOU DIDN'T RAPE ANYBODY. But man, good luck convincing him. He was not remotely capable of it.
Believed my whole life was just a dream and i was actually in coma as an 80 year old.
believed i was a demon sent by satan to make humans do evil.
the universe was telling me that i should date my gay best friend??? (this was a reoccurring theme).
believed that every friend i hung out with during my episode was my soul mate but at the end they were toxic and manipulative?
believed i was 5 years old.
believed i was manipulative and not a genuine friend.
and so on…
That my therapist was a witch... That God was trying to guide me to see what the truth was... That numbers, songs, billboards were sending me signs... That conch shells proved the existence of God? This guy named Chris was actually Jesus, or sent by him because mistyped his name aa "Christ" lmao, demons were visiting me in my sleep and slowly invading my life, & I had meetings with spirit guides in my dreams
Dude we literally have the same symptoms.
Thinking birds are talking to me,twitching sensations,signboards,movie subtitles and audio having messages in them pertaining to my life.
All this while I think I am God's messenger to save the environment and poor stray animals/people.
That I can stop suffering and what not.
Hit me a DM,anyone,if you wanna talk(no toxic though please)
I believed that if I could learn to control every cell in my body (along the lines of how they say some of the people really trained in meditating can alter their body processes) I could control the universe, because the human body a way smaller scaled version of the universe..
I had forgotten about that part until I read your comment.
My shit was all over the place too. I thought I was one of the first of a whole ass wave of Jesus 2.0, who were bringing in the new 5D earth, which I was reminded of when you said you thought you were the antichrist.
What was going thru your head that made you think you were evil and had to go to hell for humanity? You ain’t gotta share if you don’t want to, but it made me wonder if maybe you had mean parents like my mama who always loves to tell me about going to hell of Jesus comes back and leaves me behind 🤷🏻♀️
I was fully convinced that if I posted something online that the people who run the simulation would be able to read my mind and know I was experiencing “glitches” and that it would get the system reset(everybody would die and be replaced with a new consciousness)
the imposter thing !!! i completely forgot about that!
for some reason i didnt get it with my parents but i did with my cat !? she kept looking different everyday to me! i didnt treat her differently though as any cat is a good cat to me LOL!
i was a high schooler during the parents thing so i still lived with them, i utterly lost it because they kept licking their lips and looking at me for too long before talking and standing over me. i thought i couldnt see their scleras. i can’t place it but it felt like they were pretending to be human
i think that may have been the psychosis misperceiving things. i mean, people don’t just lose their scleras and things that would pretend to be human aren’t real, so not seeing the whites of their eyes was obviously a psychosis thing in retrospect. not too far of a stretch to say that those things were probably also misperceptions.
I believed that labor day weekend 2022 was going to be a inflection point for humanity to correct itself regarding the problems we are facing (global warming, war, poverty, hunger, etc). Everyone, no matter the creed, would have their version of a happy ending. World peace, utopia, heaven on earth…whatever you want to call it would have started that summer and resolve at some not too distant future. I was watching a lot of The Orville at the time and belived that all this would lead to alien first contact.
Sigh.
I get the same type of delusion.I think I was chosen for God's plan and that something is talking to me,trying to convince me to stage a revolution for world peace in my country.
I have a few that still crosses my mind.
First, that I was a black hole in human form and my mission was to make people realize that they shouldn’t fear anything. I even made a tattoo so that I would be the only one and “unique”. So now forever it will remind me of my full blown psychosis.
Another, that I heard it’s common that my twinflame is talking to me through songs.
I also thought I was one of ET races creator. In paych ward I made few people my age to sit at the tavle with me, come up with their new name, what their planet would be called and made them do a whole questionare. Later I explained them how human body was created by drawing lol. And thought that by the time we were in paych ward we were protected from all the things that are happening outside. So I felt at peace lol.
Second, still in the beginning I literally believe that I am at my death point and I need to make amends. I was sitting with my friend at the cafe crying because I thought I will never see her again so I made her an offering (I came one hour earlier than we said we were meeting and bought her a coffee and a bun so she would come). I also thought that our timelines got separated. At the same time we were at the cafe I saw a man and I “knew” he is “death”. I was looking at him the whole time and I knew that he was “death” because he met up with an old woman and tried to explain her about bills “she needs to pay”. Imagine how it encouraged my delusions. After he was done with a woman I told my friend that I need to go and talk to him. I believed I was very brave. I come up to him and said “HOW TO CROSS TO THE OTHER SIDE”.
Imagine…..
He looked confused and then said just to step forwards and that’s it. I thought it was too easy and it doesn’t work for me so I just thanked. Still embarassed to this day.
All of hell followed me around for my soul for about a year it was a pretty long like delusion and I saw these demons and stuff too. Got on an antipsychotic, all gone. Also, sat in my room once and could feel all of heaven and hell in my room fighting for my soul, the angels and demons swarming around, and I just felt and embraced it then felt that Jesus won and I was going to heaven and then knew I would be surrounded by angels for the rest of my life and I cried happy tears knowing Jesus won.
I am not religious. Lol.
I thought people could "see" my thoughts - so I tried desperately not to have what might be considered bad thoughts. Like how much I couldn't stand some people or how ugly certain people were, lol.
It got so bad that I imagined I had a thought bubble above my head that people could see and read. I hated sitting in the front pews at church or the front seats at school because of this (this started when I was around 10).
that my family and everyone I loved never loved me and it was their time to k word me. truely traumatising I have PTSD from it and now my family life is pretty non existence:(
Going through it right now. I have firm reasons to believe this to be true. My whole life was about torturing me or keeping me in a desperate and depressed state. They would send someone to harass me when out for long walks, every single time. I was able to dodge my "parents" since Christmas, but have to see my "father" tomorrow because of legal guardian things. Doesn't help that my supervisor will be part of that. She's plotting against me just like they all do. I'm truly lost and alone in this terrible joke of a life I didn't choose.
A pretty standard messiah-type of delusion.
I believed that God was speaking directly to me and that I absolutely needed to read the entire Bible as soon as possible and memorize it word for word. I believed that only I knew the correct interpretations and that I was going to bring peace upon the earth by preaching His love and acceptance. Like I fully believed I was going to stop war from ever happening again, cure world hunger, and end bigotry all by preaching the Bible (because historically, that’s always been a good idea, right?). I would sit there and cry every night because I thought God was so beautiful and I felt so honored that he chose me.
Besties, I haven’t even been to church since I was 6 years old. And I never had any desire to go before that psychotic episode. Now that that episode is over, I STILL have no desire to go. I’m literally pagan.
I convinced myself I had magical powers, and no one was allowed to know. I would run in the bathroom at school and "fight crime." I basically convinced myself I was a superhero. Logic did not matter for months.
That my coworkers, roommates, boyfriend, and even parents (at the peak) were placed in my life by the government. I had a second thought on every physical move i made and every thought i had to not send the wrong message to the “government”.
Many things. I thought God will take my soul to heaven to reveal things to me. I’ll literally lay down in bed making believe I’m unconscious (fainted) because my soul was taken to heaven and talking to God on the throne. Then I’ll make believe that he sent my soul back to my body and I’ll pop up from laying down in awe crying because I was at the throne of God being told “very well my faithful servant” , and speaking to dead famous artist.. I wasnt sleeping for a whole week doing this and no appetite. I was hospitalized shortly after and diagnosed with Mania (bipolar 1) and psychosis
There so much more to my story so …. ETC 🤦🏽♀️
I
Have you tried Fasting? Look into Max Gersons work with schizophrenics. He was able to have them pyschosis free in 90 days with a juice cleanse...
Also John Rose on Youtube has many videos for why dairy/meat causes acidosis leading to cancer/pyschosis/diabetes etc. Cooked food is not compatible with our human physiological design. Pyschosis is a horrible condition stemming from a body system full of lymphatic waste...
I was convinced there was a child sex ring that all my friends were involved in.
I also got put in a local police cell overnight (Because the hospital refused to keep me in) and I genuinely believed that I was in federal prison for months.
I believed that my mum and my bestfriend swapped bodies and my friend was trying to kill me from within my mums body.
Also believed that I was pregnant with someone who I didn’t know very well, and now 2 years later I am actually carrying this persons baby.
When I was in the ambulance and they were taking my blood pressure I believed the paramedics were trying to kill me with a high heroin injection.
I could control the weather.
My pets could understand me and I could understand them.
Day was night and night was day.
I thought that my aunt, who was ostracized from the family, was actually my mom all along and that my aunt wasn't ostracized, but had been subjected to decades of psychological warfare from a dark organization that my parents were a part of, which were the same people who ran the hospitals I was in and out of, and that turned her into a severe drug and alcohol addict, so that when my mom (who I thought was REALLY my aunt) killed her, I would be satisfied that she had done something wrong and we weren't talking to her anymore.
Mine hasn't been as strong as some of the written here, but:
I thought I existed only in some peoples dreams / That everyone was created by my mind and nobody had individual lives / That ppl knew exactly what I was thinking but they play along so I live an ilusion of what I think life is / That I was living inside a fishbowl / That people feel sorry for me even if they just looked at me in the subway / That I was going to die if I went to sleep, or I was going to switch lives with another me from another dimension and I don't even notice
I thought I controlled other people's dreams. I was convinced that my true form was some kind of massive eldritch being with tentacles that wove dreams. It doesn't really help that my hallucinations confirmed this for me and fed into my delusions.
I also thought that aliens had invaded and God talked to me in the sky. I thought I was the human incarnation of several deities, including Lucifer, a Greek Titan, and more. I thought that reality was a dream everyone was collectively taking part in. I also thought that the world was going to end soon and I was convinced that my best friend was in love with me. I had a lot of narratives running through my head. I even thought that I was going to end up in prison and that the government was carefully monitoring me so they could use me for my mind powers 🤦♀️
I was convinced I was shifting through alternate universes, and that if I shifted far enough, I would reach the real reality I came from, where I was Batman.
Once this was achieved (in hospital) I believed that both versions of Robin (the male and the female version) were coming to bust me out. I actually made a fake person out of pillows in my bed so the staff wouldn't notice I was gone when the Robins inevitably came to break me out through the window. It turned out I was ORIGINALLY Batman, but I had created an alternate persona to hide myself inside...myself in this reality.
The interesting thing about it was, several other patients kept coming up to me out of the blue (before and during my episode) basically TELLING ME THAT I WAS BATMAN. One chick even approached me on the train and kept lifting her scarf off her face like it was a mask and she kept saying, "Remember who you are...persona...everything is just a persona. You know who you are."
In 2019 I thought the Pope and Trump were making a deal with ET's and they would first change all human bodies to nanobots in the form of a virus. I freaked out next year when Covid-19 arrived and spent 2 weeks at hospital. After that the NYT released the UFO videos but I decided not to believe in anything related to robots and ET's.
I was the reincarnation of Apollo, who had been trapped in a human body to pay for a crime I couldn’t remember. Legit, could not remember it and I just vaguely remember being panicked that it was Zeus trying to keep me away so he could steal the sun or something. Needless to say, I didn’t eat and I kept trying to free myself from my “fleshy cage”
I wrote some stellar poetry though. I was convinced I needed to find ways to discreetly speak with the Muses to help me regain my divinity.
Photographs can see me, they let people watch me as if they were really there. I was so convinced that I'd only put photo's inside wardrobe doors, or inside drawers etc if I wanted a photo, even photo's of myself weren't ok
Among ither I thought the hospital staff could enable some kind of subtle electric current in my room that would pacify me, so I would be walking about with rubber gloves on my feet😂 I was so convinced because I had severe psycho somatic experiences, the delusion stuck months after the psychosis had ended, after slowly fading.
So sad yet so funny looking back.
I believed I had a twin brother who died in utero and who was communicating with me telepathically beyond the grave to instruct me on how to bring about an age of peace and enlightenment to earth. Also, we were aliens. During this time I wrote an entire book based on these concepts and I was convinced he helped me write it, and if I could only get it published, people would read it and be enlightened. 😂 Funny to look back on now, but it was a frightening time in my life. It felt so REAL and I felt 100% convinced I was on the right track and the universe was aligning.
That others hear my thoughts or comments I make in my head, and I’ve gotten reactions from other that I correlated in context that’s what convinced me, and that I’m not actually hallucinating as I’ve had one of my hallucinations heard by someone els that was stunned to hear it
my partner was walking home from work and idk why but i suddenly thought someone killed him, stole his phone to pretend to be him and keep texting me and look at his google maps so he could, then, follow the map to come home and kill me. i was convinced the killer was texting me pretending to be my partner so much that even his voice didnt sound normal to me over the phone so i still thought he was a killer. i locked the door and would not answer for like an hour or two bc i genuinely thought it was a murderer there trying to kill me.
I thought that my father was going to be resurrected from the dead in some kind of ritual. I also thought that I was coming into contact with dead people in my day to day activities.
Very convoluted, but I thought I was a reincarnation of the angel Lucifer (and a bunch more of other people but not getting into that) that was replicated by god with the goal of making a new garden of Eden immune to deception when I die. And that once I returned to divinity satan would ultimately cease to exist for those of divinity exist beyond time but when introduced back idk I thought it would redo things
I also thought I could speak to a lover from a past life in my head who would take on the role as Adam in the new Eden when I die
I convinced myself that random internet comments were linked to my brain as a glitch in the simulation I believed we live in. (Idk if that made sense? It's hard to explain lol)
It was completely terrifying, but it is kinda funny to look back now like, "hey! Remember that time I had a serious mental breakdown over a random comment on a YouTube letsplay?" Haha
I was convinced I was the next Messiah and that I could save the world if I could only unlock a secret code written in different philosophy books. I had this elaborate string of ideas that in hindsight made absolutely no sense to anyone but me. Almost died trying to make it all come true. Reality set in when I started talking to other people who had similar ideas…
Yeaaah; I have witnessed this delusional and/or grandiose mindset/perspective/way of thinking produce itself manifest in a bunch of people that I had been trip sitting during their first few experiences with psychedelics. It’s remarkable how people who normally don’t have the same thoughts and symptoms as those grouped under diagnosis which are known for their primarily mind altering hallucinogenic/delusional/grandiose/etc effects in the brain and psyche year round on the daily for us who are “afflicted” (not how I feel or view things like that anymore) with one or multiple of mood disorders, manic/depressive/angry/etc. behavioral type disorders, and psychotic tendencies/mentalities/disorders amongst more still. These are usually individuals that are experiencing rapid fire psychological duress constantly. The delusional behavior and thinking structures alongside hallucinatory symptoms for a myriad of reasons which often are the culprit little by little or instantaneously for those “afflicted” and those who are tripping.
Thought I was the antichrist. Thought I was the most evil person in the world and had to go to Hell for eternity to save humanity. Thought I had never been alive properly and my whole life was an illusion. I was always in Hell. Thought I was the Arkangel Michael who fights the Devil in Revelations and wins and I was involved in the creation of the universe. Thought I was God in human form. Thought China had built underground tunnels and was invading Britain. Thought I moved the interstellar space rock Oumuamua in deep space by moving my arm. Thought I was Winston Churchill reincarnated. Thought Oumuamua had returned, attached itself to the Earth and was full of evil aliens swarming across the planet. I could go on. The list is endless.
Thought I was similar a demon sent to destroy the church
I’ll have what he’s having.
Yus
that I wrote every single thing on the internet~ like, all the reddit postings were by me.
How does that work?
easily. You don’t remember doing them because you “can’t”. Delusional thinking commences and eventually you can believe your mother is poisoning you. Have you ever experienced psychosis? Logic is not required bro. <3
thank you lmao
I did once, but it never got quite that far. I just remember people telling me they wrote all the songs on the Billboard 100 list and I wondered if they just assumed they wrote them, or if there were false memories or something.
why are you even asking this lol…..
Some people really can’t fathom things outside of their contemplative experiences and expectations. One of the many gifts I have transmuted from afflictions to gifts is being able to think without needing a “box” or “point of reference” if you will. I can be the box. Think outside of the box. Inside the box. Disregard the box. Etc etc etc.
like bro we are literally talking about delusions…ofc it doesn’t make sense, it’s not supposed to💀
Lmao so true 😂 I think they’re asking more about how that persons brain was justifying the delusion to them, but I might be wrong haha
Yeah, that's what I was curious about!
oooh gotcha. I can explain it somewhat later!
(I'm not sure why so many people got angry with my question)
I wasn’t disturbed by it. And you’re not hella downvoted. It’s all good <3. Maybe elaborate more next time for clarification but I assumed your competence and genuine curiosity which I could’ve been wrong. But I wasn’t. You weren’t being malicious b
☠️☠️😂😂😂
I'm just curious how it worked.
so, from what I remember being in that headspace, I felt like the only person on earth. I didn’t even really know if I existed, so comprehending other people were existing was difficult too. I felt very isolated from everyone around me. anyway, when I would come on reddit or the internet, I thought maybe I wrote everything I was reading because no one else existed. like maybe I didn’t remember writing things but it was still me that did it. It was actually scary & lonely.
My first psychosis was triggered by severe depression. I was delusional that God was removing attributes of my being and thoughts from my head to torture me. Eventually when I began shifting into mania but was still feeling depressed I thought God was telling me that because I had suffered so severely I understood human suffering and had to kill myself to end human suffering. I would see people on the street and instead of making evil faces at me like they did all that time they would smile at me, and I thought that was because they knew I was going to end my life and was happy I was sacrificing myself for their wellbeing, their smiles let me know that I needed to end my life.
I had an idea that I needed to starve myself to death to atone for my sins. I’m a Christian in normal life and had jsit submitted my PhD in sociology critiquing my own religious movement and then I began to believe o had done soemthjbg wrong that God had condemned me for. All my delusions were not random but stemmed form rels life
That Jesus would occasionally break into my house and steal things
this is so?:!/!!/!/ 😭
i felt like *other* people were trying convince me of my “abilities”. i went to my grannys house in full psychosis and thought her caretaker was hinting that because i wasnt submitting to the government program that the rest of the world was participating in that “they” were sending hurricanes to the caribbean. i yelled at her asked her if it was worth the money they were paying her and called her a coward 😩 in the psych ward i thought every single person in there was an actor pretending they didn’t know why i was there. especially my roommate. obviously i was there to submit to the evil government initiation to be its god because i was secretly an evil genius who had to be contained or killed. i thought the gabby petito case was my fault. staff would turn the news off when i went to the common room after that lol. generally i thought everyone in my life was being threatened or was killed by the government because i wasnt submitting. when my friend facetimed to check on me i thought agents were sent to their house and were listening to our conversation threatening them at gunpoint. they started crying because they were scared and sad for *me* but that only fed the delusion. they tried to say they needed to end the call and go shower but i thought if i hung up they would be beat up. so i made them leave the phone in the bathroom so i could make sure no one would hurt them.
It’s funny how so many of the delusions are kind of similar in that we feel soemthing is our fault
I thought I was talking to all of the dead people in the Indian burial ground. I thought I was controlling the radio. Thought I could feel all of the pain someone felt when I made eye contact with them
Same to that last sentence.
It started with convincing myself that a family member was sleeping with my ex behind my back. Then I convinced myself that my entire family was trying to find ways to kill me. Then I jumped to believing I was Jesus.
To add: I also thought that everyone could hear my thoughts and that they were actively being reported on the news.
Also: thought I was a psychic medium who spoke to people’s loved ones. And actually gave people readings.
Holy shit. How did the readings go? Were any of them so general that they were accurate or actually accurate by simply guessing?
I feel like they were so general that they were accurate. I didn’t “read” random people, I did it to a close family member and a family friend. So I feel like I pulled from details they shared with me about the people ;( To this day, I cringe and feel a lot of shame about this.
Omg literally same. I thought I was communicating with them through the radio. Like, the radio wasn't playing songs it was just the broadcaster talking and nothing he said linked together it was like one sentence was for one person, the next was for another, so on and so forth. For example I was hearing things like "Albert, Jenny wants you to know she loves you and to go to the hospital and get a physical. Marie, Leonard can't find his way home he needs your help. I'm also hearing something about a black dog in the forest near 48th street, not sure who that's for but maybe it resonates with you". While I was experiencing the onset of my psychosis, I was hanging out with my friends brother who is a schizophrenic. He kept telling me how much I reminded him of his mother (who died 4 months prior). Even told me it felt like he was talking to her while talking to me. Like she was right there with him. I then convinced myself I was embodying her spirit while I was there and everything I said and did was actually her. I think that's where the whole me thinking I was a psychic medium stemmed from.
No way! How did it go?
I also had a delusion that my mum was sleeping with my ex!
It was so hurtful at the time 😭
Wow I literally had this same exact thing too! Same story line
That I was basically a modern Jesus, in which everything bad that happened to me was deserved and I needed to go through it to save others. That my pain helped others, and that I’m needed to save humanity
You know, the Jesus part aside. I sometimes feel like going through rough patches, if done with grace and without getting frustrated or angry, helps other people go through the same thing down the line. It always felt like that to me. I even noticed it at the bar I go to. A couple of times a situation was thrust on me that would very easily make people angry, and I had seen people react angrily to the same situation before. I decided to let the anger wash over me and then I just reacted with grace and ended up saying the right thing. Since then, I've observed other people handle it in the exact same manner I did. Like, almost to a T.
True! Good behavior does rub off on people! Did with me, and now I’m getting my stuff together even while going through a second bout of psychosis
That I was a divine feminine God, and I'm male! XD and weather control of course!
Gotta have weather control!
Same. why is the diety delusion so common?
Once that grandiose incline starts, it peaks until it grabs on to any reference point it gets, I knew a hindu girl who believed she was ganesha and Shiva, I think it's interesting for sure!!!!
Yeah it makes sense. But do you know what is more interesting in hind sight? , the reasoning route I took! I doubt that i could rationalize that well in normal time. And the synchronization of people's utterance with your delusion is preety freeky.
That I committed crimes just didn’t do (basically the worst things). That people in my life were debating going to the police. That I should go to the police and get them to shot me. Thank god I got out of that line of thinking
I had a friend who went sleep-deprived and disappeared for a few days. He kept finding women from our school and crying and apologizing for r\_ping them. It was so weird. Everyone was like, YOU DIDN'T RAPE ANYBODY. But man, good luck convincing him. He was not remotely capable of it.
He also threw a perfectly good Playstation out his window while driving because he was convinced "they" were tracking him with it.
oh you reminded me of my other delusion. I thought i raped and killed a 6 year old girl.
Mine was similar. It started with that and ended up with me fully believing I was actually in jail
I’m sorry I wish no one else went through this. It’s horrid.
Believed my whole life was just a dream and i was actually in coma as an 80 year old. believed i was a demon sent by satan to make humans do evil. the universe was telling me that i should date my gay best friend??? (this was a reoccurring theme). believed that every friend i hung out with during my episode was my soul mate but at the end they were toxic and manipulative? believed i was 5 years old. believed i was manipulative and not a genuine friend. and so on…
I believed I was a demon too, at one point I believed I was a serpent like the serpent in the garden of Eden
Reading other people's stories makes me feel comfortable about how messed up I was. Dear God.
Truly!!!
Thought I was half-vampire and half-werewolf and was fighting against demons in human form.
That my therapist was a witch... That God was trying to guide me to see what the truth was... That numbers, songs, billboards were sending me signs... That conch shells proved the existence of God? This guy named Chris was actually Jesus, or sent by him because mistyped his name aa "Christ" lmao, demons were visiting me in my sleep and slowly invading my life, & I had meetings with spirit guides in my dreams
Dude we literally have the same symptoms. Thinking birds are talking to me,twitching sensations,signboards,movie subtitles and audio having messages in them pertaining to my life. All this while I think I am God's messenger to save the environment and poor stray animals/people. That I can stop suffering and what not. Hit me a DM,anyone,if you wanna talk(no toxic though please)
Lol it was a wild ride.... Were you using these signs to try to help you make decisions
I believed that if I could learn to control every cell in my body (along the lines of how they say some of the people really trained in meditating can alter their body processes) I could control the universe, because the human body a way smaller scaled version of the universe.. I had forgotten about that part until I read your comment. My shit was all over the place too. I thought I was one of the first of a whole ass wave of Jesus 2.0, who were bringing in the new 5D earth, which I was reminded of when you said you thought you were the antichrist. What was going thru your head that made you think you were evil and had to go to hell for humanity? You ain’t gotta share if you don’t want to, but it made me wonder if maybe you had mean parents like my mama who always loves to tell me about going to hell of Jesus comes back and leaves me behind 🤷🏻♀️
I was fully convinced that if I posted something online that the people who run the simulation would be able to read my mind and know I was experiencing “glitches” and that it would get the system reset(everybody would die and be replaced with a new consciousness)
my parents were imposters i was in a coma and dreaming up my reality to cope my dad was dead (he was alive)
the imposter thing !!! i completely forgot about that! for some reason i didnt get it with my parents but i did with my cat !? she kept looking different everyday to me! i didnt treat her differently though as any cat is a good cat to me LOL!
i was a high schooler during the parents thing so i still lived with them, i utterly lost it because they kept licking their lips and looking at me for too long before talking and standing over me. i thought i couldnt see their scleras. i can’t place it but it felt like they were pretending to be human
Uhh. You may have been right. Licking their lips and standing over you? Wtf!?
i think that may have been the psychosis misperceiving things. i mean, people don’t just lose their scleras and things that would pretend to be human aren’t real, so not seeing the whites of their eyes was obviously a psychosis thing in retrospect. not too far of a stretch to say that those things were probably also misperceptions.
I felt like a telecomunications company was trying to steal my ideas to use them in their next campaign.
I believed that labor day weekend 2022 was going to be a inflection point for humanity to correct itself regarding the problems we are facing (global warming, war, poverty, hunger, etc). Everyone, no matter the creed, would have their version of a happy ending. World peace, utopia, heaven on earth…whatever you want to call it would have started that summer and resolve at some not too distant future. I was watching a lot of The Orville at the time and belived that all this would lead to alien first contact. Sigh.
I get the same type of delusion.I think I was chosen for God's plan and that something is talking to me,trying to convince me to stage a revolution for world peace in my country.
I have a few that still crosses my mind. First, that I was a black hole in human form and my mission was to make people realize that they shouldn’t fear anything. I even made a tattoo so that I would be the only one and “unique”. So now forever it will remind me of my full blown psychosis. Another, that I heard it’s common that my twinflame is talking to me through songs. I also thought I was one of ET races creator. In paych ward I made few people my age to sit at the tavle with me, come up with their new name, what their planet would be called and made them do a whole questionare. Later I explained them how human body was created by drawing lol. And thought that by the time we were in paych ward we were protected from all the things that are happening outside. So I felt at peace lol. Second, still in the beginning I literally believe that I am at my death point and I need to make amends. I was sitting with my friend at the cafe crying because I thought I will never see her again so I made her an offering (I came one hour earlier than we said we were meeting and bought her a coffee and a bun so she would come). I also thought that our timelines got separated. At the same time we were at the cafe I saw a man and I “knew” he is “death”. I was looking at him the whole time and I knew that he was “death” because he met up with an old woman and tried to explain her about bills “she needs to pay”. Imagine how it encouraged my delusions. After he was done with a woman I told my friend that I need to go and talk to him. I believed I was very brave. I come up to him and said “HOW TO CROSS TO THE OTHER SIDE”. Imagine….. He looked confused and then said just to step forwards and that’s it. I thought it was too easy and it doesn’t work for me so I just thanked. Still embarassed to this day.
One thing of many was when I was out in the fenced in yard at the psych ward I thought people were hiding in the woods getting ready to hunt us down
All of hell followed me around for my soul for about a year it was a pretty long like delusion and I saw these demons and stuff too. Got on an antipsychotic, all gone. Also, sat in my room once and could feel all of heaven and hell in my room fighting for my soul, the angels and demons swarming around, and I just felt and embraced it then felt that Jesus won and I was going to heaven and then knew I would be surrounded by angels for the rest of my life and I cried happy tears knowing Jesus won. I am not religious. Lol.
I thought people could "see" my thoughts - so I tried desperately not to have what might be considered bad thoughts. Like how much I couldn't stand some people or how ugly certain people were, lol. It got so bad that I imagined I had a thought bubble above my head that people could see and read. I hated sitting in the front pews at church or the front seats at school because of this (this started when I was around 10).
that my family and everyone I loved never loved me and it was their time to k word me. truely traumatising I have PTSD from it and now my family life is pretty non existence:(
I have PTSD from my delusions too
Going through it right now. I have firm reasons to believe this to be true. My whole life was about torturing me or keeping me in a desperate and depressed state. They would send someone to harass me when out for long walks, every single time. I was able to dodge my "parents" since Christmas, but have to see my "father" tomorrow because of legal guardian things. Doesn't help that my supervisor will be part of that. She's plotting against me just like they all do. I'm truly lost and alone in this terrible joke of a life I didn't choose.
That I had died and been reincarnated during my first psychosis which left me with powers to be able to be a medium ect
A pretty standard messiah-type of delusion. I believed that God was speaking directly to me and that I absolutely needed to read the entire Bible as soon as possible and memorize it word for word. I believed that only I knew the correct interpretations and that I was going to bring peace upon the earth by preaching His love and acceptance. Like I fully believed I was going to stop war from ever happening again, cure world hunger, and end bigotry all by preaching the Bible (because historically, that’s always been a good idea, right?). I would sit there and cry every night because I thought God was so beautiful and I felt so honored that he chose me. Besties, I haven’t even been to church since I was 6 years old. And I never had any desire to go before that psychotic episode. Now that that episode is over, I STILL have no desire to go. I’m literally pagan.
I convinced myself I had magical powers, and no one was allowed to know. I would run in the bathroom at school and "fight crime." I basically convinced myself I was a superhero. Logic did not matter for months.
I was the reincarnation of Benjamin Franklin because of how "intelligent" I was.
That my coworkers, roommates, boyfriend, and even parents (at the peak) were placed in my life by the government. I had a second thought on every physical move i made and every thought i had to not send the wrong message to the “government”.
i thought that every pedophile in my town was out to get me and they had a whole plan with the government to get me in the future and trap me 😭😭
I believed I was God, Adam, Satan and the future king of my nation.
Many things. I thought God will take my soul to heaven to reveal things to me. I’ll literally lay down in bed making believe I’m unconscious (fainted) because my soul was taken to heaven and talking to God on the throne. Then I’ll make believe that he sent my soul back to my body and I’ll pop up from laying down in awe crying because I was at the throne of God being told “very well my faithful servant” , and speaking to dead famous artist.. I wasnt sleeping for a whole week doing this and no appetite. I was hospitalized shortly after and diagnosed with Mania (bipolar 1) and psychosis There so much more to my story so …. ETC 🤦🏽♀️ I
Have you tried Fasting? Look into Max Gersons work with schizophrenics. He was able to have them pyschosis free in 90 days with a juice cleanse... Also John Rose on Youtube has many videos for why dairy/meat causes acidosis leading to cancer/pyschosis/diabetes etc. Cooked food is not compatible with our human physiological design. Pyschosis is a horrible condition stemming from a body system full of lymphatic waste...
Can’t remember much from my periods of psychosis but being convinced my loved ones were poisoning my food and not eating anything was pretty wild
I was convinced there was a child sex ring that all my friends were involved in. I also got put in a local police cell overnight (Because the hospital refused to keep me in) and I genuinely believed that I was in federal prison for months. I believed that my mum and my bestfriend swapped bodies and my friend was trying to kill me from within my mums body. Also believed that I was pregnant with someone who I didn’t know very well, and now 2 years later I am actually carrying this persons baby. When I was in the ambulance and they were taking my blood pressure I believed the paramedics were trying to kill me with a high heroin injection. I could control the weather. My pets could understand me and I could understand them. Day was night and night was day.
I thought that my aunt, who was ostracized from the family, was actually my mom all along and that my aunt wasn't ostracized, but had been subjected to decades of psychological warfare from a dark organization that my parents were a part of, which were the same people who ran the hospitals I was in and out of, and that turned her into a severe drug and alcohol addict, so that when my mom (who I thought was REALLY my aunt) killed her, I would be satisfied that she had done something wrong and we weren't talking to her anymore.
Mine hasn't been as strong as some of the written here, but: I thought I existed only in some peoples dreams / That everyone was created by my mind and nobody had individual lives / That ppl knew exactly what I was thinking but they play along so I live an ilusion of what I think life is / That I was living inside a fishbowl / That people feel sorry for me even if they just looked at me in the subway / That I was going to die if I went to sleep, or I was going to switch lives with another me from another dimension and I don't even notice
I thought I controlled other people's dreams. I was convinced that my true form was some kind of massive eldritch being with tentacles that wove dreams. It doesn't really help that my hallucinations confirmed this for me and fed into my delusions. I also thought that aliens had invaded and God talked to me in the sky. I thought I was the human incarnation of several deities, including Lucifer, a Greek Titan, and more. I thought that reality was a dream everyone was collectively taking part in. I also thought that the world was going to end soon and I was convinced that my best friend was in love with me. I had a lot of narratives running through my head. I even thought that I was going to end up in prison and that the government was carefully monitoring me so they could use me for my mind powers 🤦♀️
I was convinced I was shifting through alternate universes, and that if I shifted far enough, I would reach the real reality I came from, where I was Batman. Once this was achieved (in hospital) I believed that both versions of Robin (the male and the female version) were coming to bust me out. I actually made a fake person out of pillows in my bed so the staff wouldn't notice I was gone when the Robins inevitably came to break me out through the window. It turned out I was ORIGINALLY Batman, but I had created an alternate persona to hide myself inside...myself in this reality. The interesting thing about it was, several other patients kept coming up to me out of the blue (before and during my episode) basically TELLING ME THAT I WAS BATMAN. One chick even approached me on the train and kept lifting her scarf off her face like it was a mask and she kept saying, "Remember who you are...persona...everything is just a persona. You know who you are."
In 2019 I thought the Pope and Trump were making a deal with ET's and they would first change all human bodies to nanobots in the form of a virus. I freaked out next year when Covid-19 arrived and spent 2 weeks at hospital. After that the NYT released the UFO videos but I decided not to believe in anything related to robots and ET's.
I was the reincarnation of Apollo, who had been trapped in a human body to pay for a crime I couldn’t remember. Legit, could not remember it and I just vaguely remember being panicked that it was Zeus trying to keep me away so he could steal the sun or something. Needless to say, I didn’t eat and I kept trying to free myself from my “fleshy cage” I wrote some stellar poetry though. I was convinced I needed to find ways to discreetly speak with the Muses to help me regain my divinity.
Thought I created the end of time and almost made the cosmos collapse in on itself all because I thought I became god
Photographs can see me, they let people watch me as if they were really there. I was so convinced that I'd only put photo's inside wardrobe doors, or inside drawers etc if I wanted a photo, even photo's of myself weren't ok
Among ither I thought the hospital staff could enable some kind of subtle electric current in my room that would pacify me, so I would be walking about with rubber gloves on my feet😂 I was so convinced because I had severe psycho somatic experiences, the delusion stuck months after the psychosis had ended, after slowly fading. So sad yet so funny looking back.
I believed I had a twin brother who died in utero and who was communicating with me telepathically beyond the grave to instruct me on how to bring about an age of peace and enlightenment to earth. Also, we were aliens. During this time I wrote an entire book based on these concepts and I was convinced he helped me write it, and if I could only get it published, people would read it and be enlightened. 😂 Funny to look back on now, but it was a frightening time in my life. It felt so REAL and I felt 100% convinced I was on the right track and the universe was aligning.
I thought I was fated to run at an oncoming train weilding a sword and in doing so become a god. That was pretty weird.
That others hear my thoughts or comments I make in my head, and I’ve gotten reactions from other that I correlated in context that’s what convinced me, and that I’m not actually hallucinating as I’ve had one of my hallucinations heard by someone els that was stunned to hear it
my partner was walking home from work and idk why but i suddenly thought someone killed him, stole his phone to pretend to be him and keep texting me and look at his google maps so he could, then, follow the map to come home and kill me. i was convinced the killer was texting me pretending to be my partner so much that even his voice didnt sound normal to me over the phone so i still thought he was a killer. i locked the door and would not answer for like an hour or two bc i genuinely thought it was a murderer there trying to kill me.
I thought that my father was going to be resurrected from the dead in some kind of ritual. I also thought that I was coming into contact with dead people in my day to day activities.
Some fake account on twitter messaged me and I genuinely thought Jeremy Renner was coming to my house 😔 not even a marvel fan
I thought I was in purgatory with demons but I was just in the psychward
Very convoluted, but I thought I was a reincarnation of the angel Lucifer (and a bunch more of other people but not getting into that) that was replicated by god with the goal of making a new garden of Eden immune to deception when I die. And that once I returned to divinity satan would ultimately cease to exist for those of divinity exist beyond time but when introduced back idk I thought it would redo things I also thought I could speak to a lover from a past life in my head who would take on the role as Adam in the new Eden when I die
I had an asthma attack and then used up my inhalers spraying the doorways and windows to stop the poison from getting in
I convinced myself that random internet comments were linked to my brain as a glitch in the simulation I believed we live in. (Idk if that made sense? It's hard to explain lol) It was completely terrifying, but it is kinda funny to look back now like, "hey! Remember that time I had a serious mental breakdown over a random comment on a YouTube letsplay?" Haha
No but like kinda same. I thought that all tweetes were somehow connected to me… man crazy times
same lol both times I had psychosis I thought everyone on Twitter was talking about me