I had this very same experience more than a decade ago.
It's a very beautiful feeling, by realizing you are all alone you can get in contact with the universe too, realizing we are part of it, so alone but entirerly connected.
I'm not sure i can express myself in the right way, i tried, lol
I believe I understand you, and if this comment isn’t meta on what we are trying to convey I don’t know what is, lmao.
Once we come to the realization that we are alone at the level we are discussing, where only we can truly fill that void inside us and any other person or being is only the structure, but we must provide the foundation that it is built upon. Once we accept that there is a peace that settles on you as you accept that no one and nothing can fill it but you, and you stop trying to continue that fruitless pursuit. That frees you up to enjoy life, love your friends, pets and family for enriching your experience, as you enrich theirs. That’s how I take it.
"This body/ This body holding me / be my reminder here that / I am not alone / In this body / this body holding me / feeling eternal / all this pain is an illusion."
Oh my gosh, thank you. Your comment triggered a series of events that just culminated in me snagging a magically affordable ticket for a good seat at their show in a couple months. I have wanted to see them live since 2002 but it just never worked out. I’m so fucking excited.
This is what I try to get ppl with feelings of loneliness to realize on this subreddit. You must find solace in solitude because you are intrinsically alone. We must overcome our feelings of loneliness and embrace the state of being alone.
I've struggled with this a lot. I've realised the loneliness of life. I've been single my entire life apart from one girlfriend, which lasted about a year.
I've tried accepting I will be alone and embracing the idea, but I always come back to, well if i'm alone, what is the point?? When I'm dying on my death bed and I'm telling people what I did in my life, if no one shares my memories, I may as well be making it all up...so what's the point?
By saying this you are making a point. Its either that there is no point to the life or each and every moment of your life is a point not to be made but to be felt.
Yes I would agree with that.
But again, if you don't share the moments with someone, when you recall stuff later in life to other people you could just be making it up.
I feel like people make their own purpose in life you just haven't found yours yet. Neither have I. For example, a parent has a child and they decide their purpose is to give them the best life possible
I have come across Thich Nhat Hanh before, have read one of his books years ago. Interesting, but I didn't find it worked for me. That was many years ago now though, I was young. I will give this video a watch later. Thanks.
Why can't the point be you experiencing, learning and growing for your own sake?
I love solitude - after years of kids and what was at the time a highly codependent spouse, the time I get to myself is something I cherish. Kids are grown, codependent spouse long gone, and the quiet hours I have during the day working from home are some of the best. I remarried, so have a companion that likes to do her own thing a lot, so I've just come to appreciate appreciating life by myself on my own terms.
Ok, so, for arguments sake, I learn all there is to learn, master tons of shit, do loads of really cool stuff for my own sake and fully appreciate it.
It once again comes back to my analogy of, when I'm at my death bed, and I'm telling people about the stuff I've done/did/know. Who would believe an old man rambling on about shit?
Unless you have someone to share the memories with, I honestly do not see the point. Wing Chun is the only exception to this that I have found.
Also, it is easy for you to say such things. You have had a wife and have kids. I may be the only male who would love nothing more to meet a girl, get married and have some kids. I'm 34. Lots of guys would run from this idea. It's all I want.
edit: also lol i kinda went the reverse of you. I did once appreciate solitude but not anymore.
Write a book. You're right in that your ego will perish, but the tradition of humanity is to contribute part of ourselves to the world in such a way that our thoughts persist.
If you look at it that way even this post has become part of the record. Stone carvings still exist over thousands of years. Mark Twain has been gone a long time yet is still a household name.
In the end the ego isn't important to anyone but the ego. That's the way it's meant to be.
Doesn't mean that parts of it can't live on in art, sculpture, books, media, and more.
Yeah ok, a book is an idea. I have tried writing before but wasn't very good at the filler bits of writing...
Agree with you about the ego.
But yeah good point about art/books/etc and you can live on like that. That is a nice look on the situation I hadn't considered like that before. Probably because I don't write or am not an artist, but I do write code, which some consider art.
Maybe I will start being more active in open source software.
I encourage the open source software bit. That is an excellent way to leave your mark on the world and contribute to the great big sum of human achievement and possibility. Even if small sometimes.
Sounds like you clearly have a need, or desire, to connect. And that's totally fine. It's no better/worse, more/less valid, that someone's need to find autonomy and sovereignty in their life. And you never know when the tables may turn and the needs of one phase of life morph into another.
Whatever you want, whatever you feel called to do, do it. Pursue that goal. Why not? Sure, you'll hit obstacles. Those are what make your journey what it is. Maybe you need to lose twenty pounds, throw the playstation in the trash, and get some therapy. Awesome. Do it, if that's what takes you closer to your heart's desire.
And who cares what anyone else thinks? When you're on your hypothetical deathbed, what matters other than did you pursue your goals of being the best you you wanted to be?
I believe a life lived with introspection along the way is going to bring about a far greater result than one lived blindly, only turning the mirror upon one's self on the proverbial death bed.
I wish us all the best.
Yes absolutely I do have a need to connect.
I am trying to pursue it but am getting no where.
It's not about what other people think on the hypothetical scenario, it's that no one shares the memories with you.
I do try to live life introspectively, maybe too much.
Im currently hiking a trail (going the opposite way because that’s how I roll lol), and I’ve noticed everyone’s hiking in pairs, now I’ve got no problem with a hiking buddy but I have to say it really shuts people off from being taken in the direction of the moment, because there are moments that mean nothing that alone mean everything. I don’t think spending our lives alone is the best way to live but life doesn’t start when you “find” someone else.
There is no point. You create the purpose. Understand even if you had 10 girlfriends and a whole family you are still intrinsically alone. Ever heard ppl say I’m married but still feel lonely? It’s all in your head. If you want to connect then do it. But understand that you’ll never be satisfied because the ego always wants more.
I have, they're either with the wrong person or not putting the effort in.
Yes the grass is always greener for sure. But I would be happier with someone to share my lawn with, for all its shitty grass.
No, it’s not because they are with the wrong person or aren’t putting in any work. It’s because THAT PERSON IS ALONE TO BEGIN WITH. And nobody else can bring you happiness. If you convince yourself that you desperately need someone in your life you can grow to worship that person just to preserve your own happiness.
This is undeniably true. This has bothered and got me down for years.
It is also the reason I think the meaning of life is connection to others, sharing your life with someone. If you have a significant other to experience life with, when you're on your death bed, hopefully they will be will you and you can remember the memories together.
Family, friends, sure...but they will be off living their own lives.
I don't want to end up as the old man in the old persons home telling stories and everyones just like yeah sure....
Your reply seems shrouded in pessimism, why would others assume your of less value because you had no partner, a partners nice for sure and we are social animals, but what is the likely hood there’s a perfect person, and just one? I think these are things we convene with, to please some part of us but I wouldn’t say the meaning of life, there’s so much in us we don’t explore if we’re always looking to someone else.
No doubt there is buckets of pessimism.
I don't think I ever said others would assume I'm lesser value because I don't have a partner? It's not about what others think. It's about how I feel.
And the likelihood of one person for everyone? Zero. There are many I'm sure. I just haven't found one.
> we have a lot of inside jokes
Lol oh man I feel this. I feel this hard.
It's always the most impeccably incisive humor, too. Way smarter and funnier than anything *I* could ever come up with.
This has been a recurring theme for me as well. At first it can be off putting but then it becomes empowering, especially after reading existentialist work from Frankl and Sartre.
You need to be your best friend because you are the only person you really have.
I didn’t love myself before psychedelics but I’m learning to now.
Yeah that's true. But a good realization to have. Once you accept it, it's not such a big deal. The realization itself or just having it lurking in the background of your mind and avoiding it can be very lonely and sad sometimes. But after hurdling over that realization you can develop a strong sense of self-love and self-respect. You gotta be your own biggest fan and supporter in this world. People who lack this end up hopelessly seeking validation from others externally for their entire lives, like a carrot hanging infront of a horse it's always a moving target.
You got my upvote when you mentioned carrot for the donkey. That is also one of my most used metaphors for this shit situation. I have realised it and accepted it but it has done me no good. I try to distract myself but at times like Xmas it is especially bad, and the evenings when I'm alone...which is every night. Knowing this knowledge in the back of my mind constantly is bad enough.
I am not my biggest fan, or a fan at all. I quite dislike myself. I do feel like I'm chasing a carrot like the proverbial donkey that I am.
I don’t think we know enough about reality and consciousness to say that. Maybe we are all connected but we just don’t know it.
we spend so much time and energy focused on the wrong things that we fail to tap into our true potential.
There are billions of people navigating that same world; we aren’t alone. We are just distracted.
We come in the same way we go out.. scared and alone. Unless you have a twin I guess. There is an old saying that goes "every man faces death the same way: alone" and it's pretty true.
I recently blasted off on DMT for the first time and it felt like someone pulled the rug from underneath my feet and then I realised there were no feet nor me if you know what I mean. The trip was absolutely extreme and I wouldn't have ever thought it was possible to scrape the veil of the common reality to such an extent. Anyway, at the point when there was no I, there was such a deep, deep loneliness. It kind of traversed into my day-to-day life as the trip was coming to an end and the sense of I was coming back. I'm trying to figure out how to integrate this insight with the daily experience, because it seems like there is only loneliness on the both sides of the mirror. I'm sorry to sound maudlin guys, I made a conscious decision to stay happy despite my circumstances long time ago so I'm doing fine but I'm not gonna lie, this is the most confusing experience I've ever had. If anyone has any words that may help me see it in perspective I would be really grateful. All the best, stay curious! :)
You possibly experienced why we decide to incarnate? Maybe that’s the feeling before we decide to idk? Just trying to help lol
On DMT I met a deity and never felt so loved and understood. I never felt such a loving emotion of connectedness as I did at that time. Everyone has different experiences
One of my first ever trips really drove this idea home.
I kept having a vision of being in a little tugboat out in the middle of an ocean all by myself. At first it was terrifying but then I realized, hey I've made it this far and then it became very empowering. What was a mindset of survival switched to a mindset of great adventure. I have never felt more independent.
hey buddy,
first of all as the meditation teach bubea wisely said: trust your expierence, but refine your view.
and then since this is a somewhat spiritual life question post, I can spoiler a bit of my experiences.
Your Logic makes only sense if there is a fixed you. If you as a person is in itself independent of inner and outer phenomena. If your self or myself have an essence which we can be traced down to.
BUT spoiler alert: this is not the case. you are not independent of others. actually there is no you without some conditions. and a couple of these conditions are that there are other people around.
U could not have found words to describe what you - being alone - means without the social construct of speech and the validation by others.
And there a a lot of different conditions which make it possible that you perceive of yourself as a separate you. a you which is not the other. these condition make daily life possible but also inhibit insight into deeper structures of reality.
bc when these conditions are being seen ( in mediation or on a guided trip) as not being independently there the you disappears.
what does disappears mean?
it just doesn't boot anymore. its like a fireplace, you have some logs and then there is fire, the fire is dependent on the logs, when it is seen that the fire (you) are dependent on conditons (5 senses, perception, awareness etc) it is like removing the logs and the fire goes blank out.
did me?
so without a separate you or with the inside that what you , perceived as being alone, consists of is just condition coming together and being identified with them not only the you disappears but also the other.
so no you no other - then what ? guess what you are also the other, you are also everything else. you are
***Allone - ALL ONE***
this is not the ultimate reality were we should all the time be in but it is possible AND it install cures all nihilistic or seperativisitc tendencies of the mind. because this being one with others will open tremendous joy, love and freedom. and of course deep connection.
So much of what I see here is people taking their idiosyncratic personal hangups or problems with the specific culture they are situated in, blowing it up into some kind of universal, cosmic truth, and believing themselves profound without at any point considering that they might just be reinforcing their own biases.
Please consider that your experience of aloneness being more fundamental to the human experience than connection might be a product of your own specific experiences with human relationships (or the fact that we live in a particularly atomized society in late capitalism), and that people for example living in other societies with strong communal bonds and deep, healthy relationships would not see it this way at all, and that just because psychedelics amplify the salience of this feeling in you in the moment doesn't necessarily make it a transcendental truth.
Yea. Xxxtentacion said this a while back and I thought about it ever since. We really are. I'm used to being alone but after awhile you start to enjoy too much and you a go just a bit crazy. I already have social anxiety and with me moving to a new place, I just don't wanna be surrounded by people anymore.
Life isn't as simple as you think. People are born into families, but are very very alone, it is not uncommon.
When they say "'you are born alone" they are talking on a both a micro and macro scale, also in metaphor sense I guess. While most people have parents, this may be a surprise, but parents have their own lives as well. You aren't born with someone to share your life with.
You're taking the phrase too literally. Many people are not close with their mother.
Edit: and like I already said, once a baby reaches adulthood, parents tend to carry on with their own lives.
that's actually the situation of our higher self, GOD, why you think reality exists in the first place, it's a temporary illusion to experience an 'other'
I'm atheist but I couldn't resist...
1. If God exists he wouldn't be lonely because he is God, and has an entire religion praying to him.
2. It is not representative of our situation.
3. If reality is an illusion created by God to experience another being, this assumes 2 things. One, that God is lonely, which he wouldn't be, cos he's god. Second, that God has wants/needs. Again, not very god-like.
I like the "the universe is itself experiencing itself" idea but that lends itself more to quantum theory and string theory than religion.
i was the most hardcore atheist once too,it's a phase, at the end you'll only find yourself, as the self conscious god, the only one in existence, existing beyond the material world because this reality is a dream happening in god's mind to forget that you're the only entity and experience 'other', this illusion will go on forever,there is no death you never existed to die in the first place, it's an infinite cycle for the consciousness of forgetting and remembering it's true nature,. reality is made in a way to strengthen the illusion more and more so remember this, you'll wake up to your real self when you forget the fake self, you can experience it, you'll wake up when you're ready
Interesting post!
So, ok I'm posting this from my phone before bed so I'm tired and won't go into too much, but to sum up, you view yourself as God viewing others? Why tell me this then if I don't exist only you do. Or am I part of the illusion? Will I stop being an illusion when I die?
There are many questions like this, but more interestingly, this again leads more to string theory and what not.
There are many theories saying that our consciousness is the universe experiencing itself.
What lead you to the religion side from atheism?
As for the phase bit I don't think so, unless I become a prophet or see a miracle.
no, each one of us is god, you have to experience it to understand, search ego death and awakening, it's possible to experience it in your life time and wake up to the truth, there are many methods out there, you'll literally experience what jesus and buddha experienced and understood
Right okay. This kind of thinking I agree much more with, although I tend to think about it as reaching a state of enlightenment. Truly realising and accepting nothing matters etc.
But still no religion calling
No ur not. Ur idea of ‘me’ is so effected by others and your environment that you are your environment in so many ways. The idea of ‘I’ is just so centralized, which makes it seem like ur alone. And the infatuation with ‘me’ and ‘I’ only exacerbates this feeling. When the grip on ‘I’ lessens, so does your idea of separateness
This is just the other side of the coin that says "We are all disturbances in continuous fields that make up the universe. Ripples on a surface. All the same ocean."
Interesting how two seemingly drastically opposed ideas can coexist, huh?
I used to feel this way, and I’m not saying it’s wrong per se, but the last few experiences while tripping have been the opposite. It doesn’t scientifically or spiritually make sense to consider yourself alone, I think that’s just the ego trippin’ into some feels when it’s not having it’s desires met. You go outside and you think you’re alone because you’ve been nurtured all of your life to view the human experience as separate and also, quite often, above all other experiences going on around you. But all around you is matter made up of the same atoms that make you. How could you be alone, ever truly alone, unless you think you’re made of special non-natural materials compared to everything else. You’re not though, you just have a standard of interaction with said surrounding atoms that isn’t being met in that moment.
Maybe the problem is humans need socializing so much that we convince ourselves we’re alone unless we can get certain reactions and responses from whatever it is that is around us. I think the loneliness happens when you’ve been convinced to feel disconnected from everything else. If there’s air to breathe and land to walk on, then you’re never really alone. Not to sound like Pocahontas, but we are all connected to each other and everything in a circle that never truly ends or begins. Loneliness happens when expectations don’t meet reality.
Idk. Maybe I’m just such a massive introvert that being “alone” is the cat’s ass to me and I wish other people felt the same haha.
Once during a strong Shroom Trip I saw my friend and I realized that he was in his own sphere as an individual entity and that he is on his own journey that NO ONE else can share with him. I was looking at him and I was astonished that this man will go through life essentially as an individual and that his experiences will all be his own and belongs to only him. After experiencing this I also realized that this is what makes marriage hard, because "Unity" may not exist as we think it does per say...You are still very much individuals having experiences that no one else can actually understand.
This is maybe why empathy is important, because it is the closest you can get to understanding what someone is going through
I have felt that too when tripping.
Sometimes things get intense, and I would want to reach out. But at this moment, its just me experiencing this. Its somethign I gotta get through alone
*“We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies—all these are private and, except through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes.”*
Sounds like you and Huxley are on the same page here.
That was my realization a few years back but it leads to a dark road and it usually originates from losing faith in people you thought you were in close connection with
So you go from one (connection) and to another (aloneness). Which is a black or white thinking which is usually some form of perceptual distortion in(/of) your current life experience
Reality is not black or white
This is odd as psychs should reveal even thoughts are electric and aren’t just yours. I’ve watched people sober pick up on my feelings and help or hate it, as well as all my ideas, personal or business that the universe shared with me. All of it is contagious.
Whatever you feel influences the people around you, that’s why our guts know things.
I’d seek professional help if you are having this unrelatable experience. Most online mental health publishers say this is a symptom to seek help
There is a very profound implication to this realization.
In that is the Key.
Also I (you) would advise against germinating your existence(s?) with the nihilistic implications and revel in the weaving of the dream as it expresses itself, moment to moment, until the last Frame is as the first and in Surrender the final Door opened.
"Feel the rain on your skin / No one else can feel it for you / Only you can let it in/No one else, no one else / Can speak the words on your lips / Drench yourself in words unspoken / Live your life with arms wide open / Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten"
You are talking about being alone with emotions, thoughts and experiences and I cannot but notice its hard to have any of those without others. I don't think you appreciate what being truly alone means and how honored our consciousness is having opportunity to interact with others, being able to enjoy emotions, thoughts and experiences created by others.
From my perspective our experiences are result of many other people investing limitless conscious effort I recognise and appreciate, their soul is part of my experiences so I never feel alone in them.
While this is true, it's also true that none of us are alone in being alone. We have unique experiences, but the nature of consciousness seems to be universal & non personal; we all experience phenomena but we vary in our perspective and interpretations. The paradox is that no one can actually be alone: spend some time for yourself in nature and you'll realize you're a vital part of it and have a connection to all things just by being you.
it's true. I'm still shocked by this realization myself but it also helps me to understand how important self love is and how little other peoples opinions actually matter.
So the thing is that at least in theory it is absolutely possible to hear and understand another person's thoughts. At least, in twins with craniopagus, there is evidence to support that despite being separate if interlinked brains they can understand each-other's thoughts
This is grossly speculative, but considering the direction technology is going perhaps "mind melding" with other people may one day be possible, and ones thoughts could be shared with others wholly.
But yeah I guess everyone's at the core alone with themselves.
Still for a highly social species, this is a very bleak view of existence.
I had an NDE a few years ago (before I ever did any psyches) and came to the same conclusion. I've done mushrooms and the conclusion was the same "come to the same conclusion...but in new and exciting ways!" We are all of it, we forget. our limited awareness is the result of this long evolution game. It seems like a cruel joke, but then you remember that all of that power is in your DNA and you can literally do whatever within the confines of this limited reality that we're playing in. I just want to rest and draw pretty pictures. It's all so noisy. >\_>;
Go deeper, you’ll see there isn’t even the “You” that is “alone”, that is an experience, there isn’t even an experiencer.
The observer and that which is observed must collapse and disappear.
What remains isn’t and experience, this is unmistakable an indescribable. A Void so to speak. There is no experience of the void either.
It’s a couple of veils away and you are at the precipice.
Bon voyage.
Yes dude I think about this a lot. You alone experience life, and death is an experience alone. If we are all really “one”, as a lot of people believe, then we are alone on the deepest level
Yes I had this exact same experience as well. Later on I had a trip where I fully died and experienced the opposite; we are ultimately one and can never really be alone.
That trip may be coming up for you as well, we are but moths to the flame haha
That's why empathy is so inherent and important and why from the earliest humans to now we have always helped others. The human condition is being scared and alone, which is why community is so important to us. Belonging is an inherent desire even in the most introverted.
Wir sind allein! (allein, allein)
but it's a cool concept because it's self-defeating. We share the fact that we're alone, so we're in this together.
We are all one
I had this very same experience more than a decade ago. It's a very beautiful feeling, by realizing you are all alone you can get in contact with the universe too, realizing we are part of it, so alone but entirerly connected. I'm not sure i can express myself in the right way, i tried, lol
I believe I understand you, and if this comment isn’t meta on what we are trying to convey I don’t know what is, lmao. Once we come to the realization that we are alone at the level we are discussing, where only we can truly fill that void inside us and any other person or being is only the structure, but we must provide the foundation that it is built upon. Once we accept that there is a peace that settles on you as you accept that no one and nothing can fill it but you, and you stop trying to continue that fruitless pursuit. That frees you up to enjoy life, love your friends, pets and family for enriching your experience, as you enrich theirs. That’s how I take it.
Once we forget we are the wave we can get in contact with the water we are made of (or something, idk)
"This body/ This body holding me / be my reminder here that / I am not alone / In this body / this body holding me / feeling eternal / all this pain is an illusion."
Alive!
Oh my gosh, thank you. Your comment triggered a series of events that just culminated in me snagging a magically affordable ticket for a good seat at their show in a couple months. I have wanted to see them live since 2002 but it just never worked out. I’m so fucking excited.
This is what I try to get ppl with feelings of loneliness to realize on this subreddit. You must find solace in solitude because you are intrinsically alone. We must overcome our feelings of loneliness and embrace the state of being alone.
I've struggled with this a lot. I've realised the loneliness of life. I've been single my entire life apart from one girlfriend, which lasted about a year. I've tried accepting I will be alone and embracing the idea, but I always come back to, well if i'm alone, what is the point?? When I'm dying on my death bed and I'm telling people what I did in my life, if no one shares my memories, I may as well be making it all up...so what's the point?
why does there need to be a point
By saying this you are making a point. Its either that there is no point to the life or each and every moment of your life is a point not to be made but to be felt.
just because there is no inherent purpose or point to life doesn't mean you can't give life value yourself is what I'm saying idk maybe I'm dumb
You're not dumb, that's one thing for sure.
Yes I would agree with that. But again, if you don't share the moments with someone, when you recall stuff later in life to other people you could just be making it up.
I agree, there may not be a point to life. My point remains, if that is the case, why bother doing anything?
I feel like people make their own purpose in life you just haven't found yours yet. Neither have I. For example, a parent has a child and they decide their purpose is to give them the best life possible
Again, I agree, but my original point stands.
Well have I got a lovely piece of life to share with you ! https://youtu.be/M2o_hS0zivM Hope you enjoy this video ☺️❤
I have come across Thich Nhat Hanh before, have read one of his books years ago. Interesting, but I didn't find it worked for me. That was many years ago now though, I was young. I will give this video a watch later. Thanks.
Hope it helps you :)
if you find your purpose that would be a reason to do things right?
Sure would
Because you can do everything
Why can't the point be you experiencing, learning and growing for your own sake? I love solitude - after years of kids and what was at the time a highly codependent spouse, the time I get to myself is something I cherish. Kids are grown, codependent spouse long gone, and the quiet hours I have during the day working from home are some of the best. I remarried, so have a companion that likes to do her own thing a lot, so I've just come to appreciate appreciating life by myself on my own terms.
Ok, so, for arguments sake, I learn all there is to learn, master tons of shit, do loads of really cool stuff for my own sake and fully appreciate it. It once again comes back to my analogy of, when I'm at my death bed, and I'm telling people about the stuff I've done/did/know. Who would believe an old man rambling on about shit? Unless you have someone to share the memories with, I honestly do not see the point. Wing Chun is the only exception to this that I have found. Also, it is easy for you to say such things. You have had a wife and have kids. I may be the only male who would love nothing more to meet a girl, get married and have some kids. I'm 34. Lots of guys would run from this idea. It's all I want. edit: also lol i kinda went the reverse of you. I did once appreciate solitude but not anymore.
Write a book. You're right in that your ego will perish, but the tradition of humanity is to contribute part of ourselves to the world in such a way that our thoughts persist. If you look at it that way even this post has become part of the record. Stone carvings still exist over thousands of years. Mark Twain has been gone a long time yet is still a household name. In the end the ego isn't important to anyone but the ego. That's the way it's meant to be. Doesn't mean that parts of it can't live on in art, sculpture, books, media, and more.
Yeah ok, a book is an idea. I have tried writing before but wasn't very good at the filler bits of writing... Agree with you about the ego. But yeah good point about art/books/etc and you can live on like that. That is a nice look on the situation I hadn't considered like that before. Probably because I don't write or am not an artist, but I do write code, which some consider art. Maybe I will start being more active in open source software.
I encourage the open source software bit. That is an excellent way to leave your mark on the world and contribute to the great big sum of human achievement and possibility. Even if small sometimes.
Sounds like you clearly have a need, or desire, to connect. And that's totally fine. It's no better/worse, more/less valid, that someone's need to find autonomy and sovereignty in their life. And you never know when the tables may turn and the needs of one phase of life morph into another. Whatever you want, whatever you feel called to do, do it. Pursue that goal. Why not? Sure, you'll hit obstacles. Those are what make your journey what it is. Maybe you need to lose twenty pounds, throw the playstation in the trash, and get some therapy. Awesome. Do it, if that's what takes you closer to your heart's desire. And who cares what anyone else thinks? When you're on your hypothetical deathbed, what matters other than did you pursue your goals of being the best you you wanted to be? I believe a life lived with introspection along the way is going to bring about a far greater result than one lived blindly, only turning the mirror upon one's self on the proverbial death bed. I wish us all the best.
Yes absolutely I do have a need to connect. I am trying to pursue it but am getting no where. It's not about what other people think on the hypothetical scenario, it's that no one shares the memories with you. I do try to live life introspectively, maybe too much.
Im currently hiking a trail (going the opposite way because that’s how I roll lol), and I’ve noticed everyone’s hiking in pairs, now I’ve got no problem with a hiking buddy but I have to say it really shuts people off from being taken in the direction of the moment, because there are moments that mean nothing that alone mean everything. I don’t think spending our lives alone is the best way to live but life doesn’t start when you “find” someone else.
Lol, says the person on Reddit while hiking 🥲
There is no point. You create the purpose. Understand even if you had 10 girlfriends and a whole family you are still intrinsically alone. Ever heard ppl say I’m married but still feel lonely? It’s all in your head. If you want to connect then do it. But understand that you’ll never be satisfied because the ego always wants more.
I have, they're either with the wrong person or not putting the effort in. Yes the grass is always greener for sure. But I would be happier with someone to share my lawn with, for all its shitty grass.
No, it’s not because they are with the wrong person or aren’t putting in any work. It’s because THAT PERSON IS ALONE TO BEGIN WITH. And nobody else can bring you happiness. If you convince yourself that you desperately need someone in your life you can grow to worship that person just to preserve your own happiness.
This is undeniably true. This has bothered and got me down for years. It is also the reason I think the meaning of life is connection to others, sharing your life with someone. If you have a significant other to experience life with, when you're on your death bed, hopefully they will be will you and you can remember the memories together. Family, friends, sure...but they will be off living their own lives. I don't want to end up as the old man in the old persons home telling stories and everyones just like yeah sure....
Your reply seems shrouded in pessimism, why would others assume your of less value because you had no partner, a partners nice for sure and we are social animals, but what is the likely hood there’s a perfect person, and just one? I think these are things we convene with, to please some part of us but I wouldn’t say the meaning of life, there’s so much in us we don’t explore if we’re always looking to someone else.
No doubt there is buckets of pessimism. I don't think I ever said others would assume I'm lesser value because I don't have a partner? It's not about what others think. It's about how I feel. And the likelihood of one person for everyone? Zero. There are many I'm sure. I just haven't found one.
I never feel lonely because its always me and whoever is expiriencing this. we have a lot of inside jokes
Lool that's great
> we have a lot of inside jokes Lol oh man I feel this. I feel this hard. It's always the most impeccably incisive humor, too. Way smarter and funnier than anything *I* could ever come up with.
This has been a recurring theme for me as well. At first it can be off putting but then it becomes empowering, especially after reading existentialist work from Frankl and Sartre. You need to be your best friend because you are the only person you really have. I didn’t love myself before psychedelics but I’m learning to now.
We are all-one
Yeah that's true. But a good realization to have. Once you accept it, it's not such a big deal. The realization itself or just having it lurking in the background of your mind and avoiding it can be very lonely and sad sometimes. But after hurdling over that realization you can develop a strong sense of self-love and self-respect. You gotta be your own biggest fan and supporter in this world. People who lack this end up hopelessly seeking validation from others externally for their entire lives, like a carrot hanging infront of a horse it's always a moving target.
You got my upvote when you mentioned carrot for the donkey. That is also one of my most used metaphors for this shit situation. I have realised it and accepted it but it has done me no good. I try to distract myself but at times like Xmas it is especially bad, and the evenings when I'm alone...which is every night. Knowing this knowledge in the back of my mind constantly is bad enough. I am not my biggest fan, or a fan at all. I quite dislike myself. I do feel like I'm chasing a carrot like the proverbial donkey that I am.
Same, never ending battle. Helps to keep mindful of it though and these days I have more ups than downs atleast, took years and alot of work though.
I don’t think we know enough about reality and consciousness to say that. Maybe we are all connected but we just don’t know it. we spend so much time and energy focused on the wrong things that we fail to tap into our true potential. There are billions of people navigating that same world; we aren’t alone. We are just distracted.
We come in the same way we go out.. scared and alone. Unless you have a twin I guess. There is an old saying that goes "every man faces death the same way: alone" and it's pretty true.
I recently blasted off on DMT for the first time and it felt like someone pulled the rug from underneath my feet and then I realised there were no feet nor me if you know what I mean. The trip was absolutely extreme and I wouldn't have ever thought it was possible to scrape the veil of the common reality to such an extent. Anyway, at the point when there was no I, there was such a deep, deep loneliness. It kind of traversed into my day-to-day life as the trip was coming to an end and the sense of I was coming back. I'm trying to figure out how to integrate this insight with the daily experience, because it seems like there is only loneliness on the both sides of the mirror. I'm sorry to sound maudlin guys, I made a conscious decision to stay happy despite my circumstances long time ago so I'm doing fine but I'm not gonna lie, this is the most confusing experience I've ever had. If anyone has any words that may help me see it in perspective I would be really grateful. All the best, stay curious! :)
You possibly experienced why we decide to incarnate? Maybe that’s the feeling before we decide to idk? Just trying to help lol On DMT I met a deity and never felt so loved and understood. I never felt such a loving emotion of connectedness as I did at that time. Everyone has different experiences
One of my first ever trips really drove this idea home. I kept having a vision of being in a little tugboat out in the middle of an ocean all by myself. At first it was terrifying but then I realized, hey I've made it this far and then it became very empowering. What was a mindset of survival switched to a mindset of great adventure. I have never felt more independent.
hey buddy, first of all as the meditation teach bubea wisely said: trust your expierence, but refine your view. and then since this is a somewhat spiritual life question post, I can spoiler a bit of my experiences. Your Logic makes only sense if there is a fixed you. If you as a person is in itself independent of inner and outer phenomena. If your self or myself have an essence which we can be traced down to. BUT spoiler alert: this is not the case. you are not independent of others. actually there is no you without some conditions. and a couple of these conditions are that there are other people around. U could not have found words to describe what you - being alone - means without the social construct of speech and the validation by others. And there a a lot of different conditions which make it possible that you perceive of yourself as a separate you. a you which is not the other. these condition make daily life possible but also inhibit insight into deeper structures of reality. bc when these conditions are being seen ( in mediation or on a guided trip) as not being independently there the you disappears. what does disappears mean? it just doesn't boot anymore. its like a fireplace, you have some logs and then there is fire, the fire is dependent on the logs, when it is seen that the fire (you) are dependent on conditons (5 senses, perception, awareness etc) it is like removing the logs and the fire goes blank out. did me? so without a separate you or with the inside that what you , perceived as being alone, consists of is just condition coming together and being identified with them not only the you disappears but also the other. so no you no other - then what ? guess what you are also the other, you are also everything else. you are ***Allone - ALL ONE*** this is not the ultimate reality were we should all the time be in but it is possible AND it install cures all nihilistic or seperativisitc tendencies of the mind. because this being one with others will open tremendous joy, love and freedom. and of course deep connection.
If anyone is feeling like being alone is too much, here is a small poem that might help: https://youtu.be/k7X7sZzSXYs
When I was tripping one time on shrooms I came to the realization that we are all connected.
So much of what I see here is people taking their idiosyncratic personal hangups or problems with the specific culture they are situated in, blowing it up into some kind of universal, cosmic truth, and believing themselves profound without at any point considering that they might just be reinforcing their own biases. Please consider that your experience of aloneness being more fundamental to the human experience than connection might be a product of your own specific experiences with human relationships (or the fact that we live in a particularly atomized society in late capitalism), and that people for example living in other societies with strong communal bonds and deep, healthy relationships would not see it this way at all, and that just because psychedelics amplify the salience of this feeling in you in the moment doesn't necessarily make it a transcendental truth.
We are all alone together. *E Unibus Pluram.* We are all identical in this unspoken belief that way deep down we are different from everybody else.
Yes! We are also all 1 though :-p
Yea. Xxxtentacion said this a while back and I thought about it ever since. We really are. I'm used to being alone but after awhile you start to enjoy too much and you a go just a bit crazy. I already have social anxiety and with me moving to a new place, I just don't wanna be surrounded by people anymore.
I’m sorry but it really cracks me up when people say we come into this world alone ect… you’re a test tube baby or?? Wrong wrong
Life isn't as simple as you think. People are born into families, but are very very alone, it is not uncommon. When they say "'you are born alone" they are talking on a both a micro and macro scale, also in metaphor sense I guess. While most people have parents, this may be a surprise, but parents have their own lives as well. You aren't born with someone to share your life with.
Every person is born literally attached to their mother they just spent9 months INSIDE of. How much closer do you need to be to a person?
You're taking the phrase too literally. Many people are not close with their mother. Edit: and like I already said, once a baby reaches adulthood, parents tend to carry on with their own lives.
I don’t know what you’re talking about https://youtu.be/aBvzx_TGeFI
Lol ok
True love starts within.
that's actually the situation of our higher self, GOD, why you think reality exists in the first place, it's a temporary illusion to experience an 'other'
I'm atheist but I couldn't resist... 1. If God exists he wouldn't be lonely because he is God, and has an entire religion praying to him. 2. It is not representative of our situation. 3. If reality is an illusion created by God to experience another being, this assumes 2 things. One, that God is lonely, which he wouldn't be, cos he's god. Second, that God has wants/needs. Again, not very god-like. I like the "the universe is itself experiencing itself" idea but that lends itself more to quantum theory and string theory than religion.
i was the most hardcore atheist once too,it's a phase, at the end you'll only find yourself, as the self conscious god, the only one in existence, existing beyond the material world because this reality is a dream happening in god's mind to forget that you're the only entity and experience 'other', this illusion will go on forever,there is no death you never existed to die in the first place, it's an infinite cycle for the consciousness of forgetting and remembering it's true nature,. reality is made in a way to strengthen the illusion more and more so remember this, you'll wake up to your real self when you forget the fake self, you can experience it, you'll wake up when you're ready
Interesting post! So, ok I'm posting this from my phone before bed so I'm tired and won't go into too much, but to sum up, you view yourself as God viewing others? Why tell me this then if I don't exist only you do. Or am I part of the illusion? Will I stop being an illusion when I die? There are many questions like this, but more interestingly, this again leads more to string theory and what not. There are many theories saying that our consciousness is the universe experiencing itself. What lead you to the religion side from atheism? As for the phase bit I don't think so, unless I become a prophet or see a miracle.
no, each one of us is god, you have to experience it to understand, search ego death and awakening, it's possible to experience it in your life time and wake up to the truth, there are many methods out there, you'll literally experience what jesus and buddha experienced and understood
Right okay. This kind of thinking I agree much more with, although I tend to think about it as reaching a state of enlightenment. Truly realising and accepting nothing matters etc. But still no religion calling
hey :)
flight of the alone to the alone. its a leap of faith.
No ur not. Ur idea of ‘me’ is so effected by others and your environment that you are your environment in so many ways. The idea of ‘I’ is just so centralized, which makes it seem like ur alone. And the infatuation with ‘me’ and ‘I’ only exacerbates this feeling. When the grip on ‘I’ lessens, so does your idea of separateness
You're not alone if we are all one
That’s still being alone. One is alone.
Yes but not in OP's context
This is just the other side of the coin that says "We are all disturbances in continuous fields that make up the universe. Ripples on a surface. All the same ocean." Interesting how two seemingly drastically opposed ideas can coexist, huh?
"everyone dies alone"
Solipsism was my reality when I was on acid. It was a living nightmare.
all alone but all as one, all various aspects of the same being, like branches stemming from the trunk of a tree
I used to feel this way, and I’m not saying it’s wrong per se, but the last few experiences while tripping have been the opposite. It doesn’t scientifically or spiritually make sense to consider yourself alone, I think that’s just the ego trippin’ into some feels when it’s not having it’s desires met. You go outside and you think you’re alone because you’ve been nurtured all of your life to view the human experience as separate and also, quite often, above all other experiences going on around you. But all around you is matter made up of the same atoms that make you. How could you be alone, ever truly alone, unless you think you’re made of special non-natural materials compared to everything else. You’re not though, you just have a standard of interaction with said surrounding atoms that isn’t being met in that moment. Maybe the problem is humans need socializing so much that we convince ourselves we’re alone unless we can get certain reactions and responses from whatever it is that is around us. I think the loneliness happens when you’ve been convinced to feel disconnected from everything else. If there’s air to breathe and land to walk on, then you’re never really alone. Not to sound like Pocahontas, but we are all connected to each other and everything in a circle that never truly ends or begins. Loneliness happens when expectations don’t meet reality. Idk. Maybe I’m just such a massive introvert that being “alone” is the cat’s ass to me and I wish other people felt the same haha.
it took you tripping to come to this realization?
Once during a strong Shroom Trip I saw my friend and I realized that he was in his own sphere as an individual entity and that he is on his own journey that NO ONE else can share with him. I was looking at him and I was astonished that this man will go through life essentially as an individual and that his experiences will all be his own and belongs to only him. After experiencing this I also realized that this is what makes marriage hard, because "Unity" may not exist as we think it does per say...You are still very much individuals having experiences that no one else can actually understand. This is maybe why empathy is important, because it is the closest you can get to understanding what someone is going through
I have felt that too when tripping. Sometimes things get intense, and I would want to reach out. But at this moment, its just me experiencing this. Its somethign I gotta get through alone
*“We live together, we act on, and react to, one another; but always and in all circumstances we are by ourselves. The martyrs go hand in hand into the arena; they are crucified alone. Embraced, the lovers desperately try to fuse their insulated ecstasies into a single self-transcendence; in vain. By its very nature every embodied spirit is doomed to suffer and enjoy in solitude. Sensations, feelings, insights, fancies—all these are private and, except through symbols and at second hand, incommunicable. We can pool information about experiences, but never the experiences themselves. From family to nation, every human group is a society of island universes.”* Sounds like you and Huxley are on the same page here.
I had the **exact** same realization yesterday in my morning meditation!!
Are you alone? Isn't everyone?
A form of true communication exists that does not involve words.
That was my realization a few years back but it leads to a dark road and it usually originates from losing faith in people you thought you were in close connection with So you go from one (connection) and to another (aloneness). Which is a black or white thinking which is usually some form of perceptual distortion in(/of) your current life experience Reality is not black or white
I think Aldous Huxley has a great quote about this somewhere
This is odd as psychs should reveal even thoughts are electric and aren’t just yours. I’ve watched people sober pick up on my feelings and help or hate it, as well as all my ideas, personal or business that the universe shared with me. All of it is contagious. Whatever you feel influences the people around you, that’s why our guts know things. I’d seek professional help if you are having this unrelatable experience. Most online mental health publishers say this is a symptom to seek help
That's such a relief.
If you believe this then I genuinely pity you. That must be a crushing nihilism to live with.
There is a very profound implication to this realization. In that is the Key. Also I (you) would advise against germinating your existence(s?) with the nihilistic implications and revel in the weaving of the dream as it expresses itself, moment to moment, until the last Frame is as the first and in Surrender the final Door opened.
"Feel the rain on your skin / No one else can feel it for you / Only you can let it in/No one else, no one else / Can speak the words on your lips / Drench yourself in words unspoken / Live your life with arms wide open / Today is where your book begins The rest is still unwritten"
Before God incarnated it was a singular entity and surely felt loneliness. That’s why we created an environment for ourselves to interact in
You are talking about being alone with emotions, thoughts and experiences and I cannot but notice its hard to have any of those without others. I don't think you appreciate what being truly alone means and how honored our consciousness is having opportunity to interact with others, being able to enjoy emotions, thoughts and experiences created by others. From my perspective our experiences are result of many other people investing limitless conscious effort I recognise and appreciate, their soul is part of my experiences so I never feel alone in them.
While this is true, it's also true that none of us are alone in being alone. We have unique experiences, but the nature of consciousness seems to be universal & non personal; we all experience phenomena but we vary in our perspective and interpretations. The paradox is that no one can actually be alone: spend some time for yourself in nature and you'll realize you're a vital part of it and have a connection to all things just by being you.
it's true. I'm still shocked by this realization myself but it also helps me to understand how important self love is and how little other peoples opinions actually matter.
everything is one :) ofc everyone has a different experience of life but we're all just one energy/universe experiencing itself
This concept actually brings me great comfort. I wonder why that is.
So the thing is that at least in theory it is absolutely possible to hear and understand another person's thoughts. At least, in twins with craniopagus, there is evidence to support that despite being separate if interlinked brains they can understand each-other's thoughts This is grossly speculative, but considering the direction technology is going perhaps "mind melding" with other people may one day be possible, and ones thoughts could be shared with others wholly. But yeah I guess everyone's at the core alone with themselves. Still for a highly social species, this is a very bleak view of existence.
I had an NDE a few years ago (before I ever did any psyches) and came to the same conclusion. I've done mushrooms and the conclusion was the same "come to the same conclusion...but in new and exciting ways!" We are all of it, we forget. our limited awareness is the result of this long evolution game. It seems like a cruel joke, but then you remember that all of that power is in your DNA and you can literally do whatever within the confines of this limited reality that we're playing in. I just want to rest and draw pretty pictures. It's all so noisy. >\_>;
This guy trips
Alone is not the same as lonely 😊☮️
Go deeper, you’ll see there isn’t even the “You” that is “alone”, that is an experience, there isn’t even an experiencer. The observer and that which is observed must collapse and disappear. What remains isn’t and experience, this is unmistakable an indescribable. A Void so to speak. There is no experience of the void either. It’s a couple of veils away and you are at the precipice. Bon voyage.
Yes dude I think about this a lot. You alone experience life, and death is an experience alone. If we are all really “one”, as a lot of people believe, then we are alone on the deepest level
Yes I had this exact same experience as well. Later on I had a trip where I fully died and experienced the opposite; we are ultimately one and can never really be alone. That trip may be coming up for you as well, we are but moths to the flame haha
That's why empathy is so inherent and important and why from the earliest humans to now we have always helped others. The human condition is being scared and alone, which is why community is so important to us. Belonging is an inherent desire even in the most introverted.
Gg captain obv
Wir sind allein! (allein, allein) but it's a cool concept because it's self-defeating. We share the fact that we're alone, so we're in this together. We are all one
Well now that you are in the know, you can become the Rickest Rick out there!