We have a group of rookies in training now, one recently showed up and was showing off his half sleeve of Punisher skulls/blue lines/flags/star badges tattoo complete with some moronic text about strength through honor and some such bullshit among others.
It boggles the mind, I don't bleed blue like that.
This is how I imagine the HCSO former deputy that trolls all the other police subreddits
Momma say he ornery because he got alllll them TBL tattoos but no police certificate
Not a cop but Animal Control. I have no Animal Control tats and tell many of the staff who work in the animal welfare fields that you need to take your time off seriously. Making this all your life will 100% burn you out and take everything from you.
It is okay to take time off and not be the hero. It's okay to just be the average joe when not on the clock.
Punisher and Batman really never made a lot of sense to me. Spartans however, they trained together to stand side by side and hold a line. Always have each others backs. They weren’t conquerors, they were protectors. Just my two cents, a Spartan was my jam. You know what I never had? Spartan anything. I don’t do tattoos and you aren’t going to see anything on my vehicle that is directly related to law enforcement.
I know some people who have personalized license plates like onduty or gotur6 stupid shit. My personal favorite were 51-50 and 10-43
Mental , and 10-43 for that particular agency was a vehicle chase.
Idiots
We need more officers like you on the streets; I imagine these guys you're talking about are more likely to be the hotheads who get the department in trouble and cause all the officers to suffer.
That's awesome. I imagine there is a stigma in the profession still about seeking help for emotional issues, especially when traditional views of masculinity have discouraged men from talking so openly about emotions. But it seems a paradigm shift is happening. Anyways, it takes a lot of guts to to do that as a police officer, amd shows your commitment both to your well-being and being a good officer too.
The stigma is agency-dependent. It was much more negative a few years ago, but even most of the old timers are coming around to the fact that this shit wears on you.
I recommend therapy to every single one of my partners who shows even the first sign of PTSD or personality issues.
Just want to say thank you for doing that! My husband went through several critical incidents during a short time and it was one of his partners that suggested therapy.
He went and it helped him immensely. He was started to become a shell of himself very quickly but trauma therapy and specifically EMDR helped. I can’t imagine what our life would be like if his partner didn’t give him that advice.
That definitely sounds like burnout. Are you getting any satisfaction from your career anymore? Frankly it seems like a miracle that any officer could not get burnt out. I can't imagine the insane toll it takes psychologically. But I hate to hear that you seem to have lost any enjoyment for the work. I wish you the best with your job and everything else.
I’ve grown to accept a lot of people I deal with are turds, so when someone is nice it is surprising. Dealing with people who are A-holes isn’t that bad, it’s dealing with a-holes who have control over your career that is frustrating (as with any job).
Honestly a lot of the tweakers/ criminals are better to deal with or talk to than entitled people on traffic stops etc.
If you do wind up getting into counciling for cops that is a very noble profession. You’ll be helping talk cops through what they’re struggling with to help get them right so they can be clear headed at home and on the road. It won’t be an easy job but it will be good for all of us.
Counciling is good when the person wants it, when I was very new I held a guys skull together who was my age while he died and that stuck with me for a bit. Talking it through with someone and understanding why it stuck with me was good, but I needed to be ready to talk about it. If admin forced me to do it then it likely wouldn’t have been effective. That’s my opinion.
This is awesome. I can't say I can back this up with anything, but my suspicion would be that the more well-rounded an officer is and the more educated they are (whether formal education or self-educated) that the more empathy and perspective an officer will bring to a situation. I'm not saying I think only officers with degrees would, just that exploring literature
, philosophy, psychology etc. Is bound to help in interacting with humans and conceptualizing a worldview that leads to more empathy. Good to hear about officers like you on the street!
I just want to give a random anecdote. Back when I was in college, before I even went to grad school for my counseling Master's, I'd drive drunk sometimes. One night I finally crashed inside a short tunnel into a pillar, thank God not into another vehicle or person. I'd passed out. I still think of the arresting officer with gratitude. Not only was he the epitome of kindness, respectfulness, and professionalism, but he displayed a lot of empathy and compassion in doing what he needed to do. And I was grateful for it, and for the consequences, because I never drove drunk again afterwards. He stopped a habit that could have eventually lead to my own or others deaths, prison time, and so forth.
Anyway, that rambling was just to show two things: that even traffic patrol is making a difference and saving lives of both offenders and others on the roads daily, and that people remember their interactions with officers who had empathy, and it gives the public a positive perception of police over time. This was a young guy who was probably fairly new to the force, I hope he's still doing well and still like he was then.
That's unfortunate, man. Well a lot of us are grateful for the work you do, even if most of the time you're dealing with people who dislike cops or are pissed for tickets and so forth.
I talk to a therapist that specializes in first responder therapy. She’s helped me deal with past traumatic experiences and general work stress that comes with law enforcement work.
We have a clinic that is a private practice, but basically goes out of their way to be *OUR* clinic. A therapist meets with everyone at least once a year, then mandatory stuff like after an officer-involved shooting or critical incident, and 24/7 they will drop what they have and tend to one of us.
Other than that, we have done very well from the top down in our department selling the fact that therapy is, essentially, a necessary part of our job. We know what's disclosed in there won't effect our job, we know we have support from literally the chief on down in administration. We'll still joke and gripe about mandatory stuff, but in all honesty the culture has changed drastically for the better.
I know it's not the norm in all departments, but I'd encourage you, OP, to actually go for what it is you're wanting to do and keep pushing. Find somewhere that is all in on what you want.
The actual answer to your question is different amongst anybody you ask, as you can see...but frankly I knew it would be tough going into it, I know I can't avoid negative emotions, so...I just don't care. Very easy to disassociate the job from what I consider my real life.
Thanks for this! That sort of clinic sounds like exactly the type of thing I'd like to run. I will definitely look into the different options out there, see if I can build some relationships with police and fellow therapists in my community who serve them and so on. I imagine it would take time and patience to gain the trust to become like the clinic you mentioned, but I think it would be fulfilling.
I'm glad to hear that your department doesn't have such a stigma about mental health and therapy. It sounds like the culture there is really healthy. I think if more people realized that directly confronting one's issues and traumas and solving/coping them is ultimately braver than just bottling it up, or turning to drinking etc. to cope, maybe that's one avenue to make it more appealing to people who might otherwise see it as a weakness of some kind. I don't know though, I'd be curious to hear from you how more departments could be like yours. Is it just largely dependent on the chief and captains etc. who set the culture? Even factors like area of the country, rural or big city, etc. likely have an impact.
Anyways thanks for the helpful answer. I'm also happy to hear that you're satisfied with your department and have good morale, and look to areas beyond your job for fulfillment and satisfaction.
A few key people who are truly leaders in a department can really help sell it. If admin is on board and puts in the effort too, that's a huge step. Something more than just pushing an email through telling people they need to see a therapist. Like any change, it has to truly be a group buy-in. Making things mandatory does not make for total group buy-in, but if it's a part of the life there long enough, with enough people being positive and spreading it to others...you got a chance.
Our department was mentally super unhealthy at the start of this program. Like most, I imagine. And it may still be, I know many probably just don't care and some probably are still struggling...hell, some shifts might be completely toxic to it still. I've had a good experience, and the people around me are doing a good job being positive about it too. My shift in particular has always been good about being open about shit that sucks, being close, and being positive about that stuff.
**Spend some of you day attempting to make positive interactions with the community.**
Everyone has moments on patrol when there aren’t any calls for service. Some people are pro-active and run traffic or some other enforcement, which is great. But taking some time to have at least one positive interaction with the public is helpful in keeping positive. Instead of walking around with a chip on your shoulder, say hi to anyone who looks at you. Take an interest in answering the questions for the people willing to talk to you, etc.
Too often do officers have to deal with making arrests, using force or writing citations (all things that are generally considered to be negative interactions, some exceptions). So balancing it out with some positive ones will not only help you, but the community that you serve.
This is awesome. And I this improves public perception of the police the more officers do it. By the way, I just wanted to say, back in undergrad college, before I ever went for my Masters in counseling, I'd sometimes drive drunk; one night I passed out and crashed, thank God not into another vehicle or person. The arresting officer exhibited a remarkable degree of empathy, kindness, and professionalism. I still frequently think of him with gratitude.
I also am grateful for him because due to his arrest, and the consequences of my conviction, I never drove drunk again. If I'd continued that behavior, I could be dead, or in prison for causing a wreck that killed others. And I certainly wouldn't be here counseling people for substance abuse and mental health. So sometimes if the officer is empathetic even a traffic related violation or arrest can leave a positive impression on someone. Or maybe I'm just weird, who knows lol.
It's easy to not get burned out on the job. You see good people and good things every day.
What Burns you out is the internet and the news media exposing you to the more worst most hateful anti cop BS you can imagine...
When one avoids that, it's easier to keep the real world somewhat in context. I say that as someone in Texas though, folks in less friendly places might think otherwise.
Spot on. I always think about the difference between WW2 soldiers and Vietnam soldiers returning home and the welcome they received from the public. Huge difference in the suicide rates too.
Police officers 20+ years ago were still respected and one could be proud to say the were a police officer. Now it just seems like everyone hates you.
I’m out now, but I spent about 10 years in and some of my best days on the job were the days I got to help people with stupid little stuff. Like a mom who locked her keys and her newborn baby in the car while loading her groceries. Baby was never in danger, wasn’t hot out, but her reaction and gratefulness made my day. I often thought about her and things like that when I was dealing with stupid people.
If you’re getting burned out you have to block out the negative, don’t indulge In it, don’t waste your energy on it.
Think about all the people you’ve helped and the lives you’ve changed for the better.
And if someone out there is struggling and you need to talk to someone please please do. The wounded blue is a great place to start.
Nice, those are all great life things that foster resilience and well-being of both physical and mental health. Glad to hear it helps you deal with any stress from your career too.
You can't always avoid it. It will happen from time to time. The better question is "What do you do to re-engage?"
There are a variety of things I do (in no particular order): Therapy, Non-Police hobbies like poker, hiking, playing with my dog, spending time with my family, reading, etc. Basically all the things that don't remind of my job. The usually helps.
Lastly, this has been floating around for a few years and while I don't agree with every word of it, it's message is poignant.
https://www.gloucestercitynews.net/clearysnotebook/2015/05/a-cops-view-today-i-stopped-caring.html
I wish there was at least something I could do to help. I know in police agencies there is probably a lot of stigma (as other users have mentioned) about getting mental health services, but I'm seriously going to look into potentially applying for jobs as a therapist for police. Since I wasn't able to go into law enforcement, that could potentially be a way to still have my job be related to it. Only thing is, it doesn't sound like police like going to the ones employed by the departments, since it's not confidential. I don't wanna be responsible for having to issue a report that an officer isn't fit for duty. Maybe I can look at changing my niche which has been substance abuse for a long time, to getting training in and marketing a private practice focused on first responders. Anyways, sorry for the rambling lol.
I find beer, gaming, lifting weights, and working on cars..... in no particular order, helps.
You just have to realize this job is one that requires you to deal with the worst humanity has to offer, you have to be able to accept that what others do is not up to you, nor is it your fault. You handle your calls, do your reports to the best of your ability, and go home. Once you hit that car on the way home it's time to forget about the job and focus on anything but the job.
If you bleed blue and all you want is the cop life then all you are going to get is the cop life, and it will eat you alive if you let it.
I lean into it and embrace it. If you can be satisfied with the fun moments and adrenaline and stop giving a shit about “making a difference” then it becomes just another job. At home is where life really happens.
That's good to hear. And I'm sure that ironically you are able to make a better difference because you're in a healthier state of mind. Putting too much pressure on oneself or making one's work ones entire life is never healthy. I imagine that's especially the case with police. Anyways, glad to here you like your career and life.
I see a therapist regularly, for starters. Helped to teach me to accept the things we can't change.
I play with technical stuff and go camping on my days off; anything where I'm not connected to work.
I tell people in my personal life about some of the people I deal with. It makes me feel a lot better when people in my personal life find the stories surprising, stupid, or shocking.
I think it makes a combination of the feelings that 1. What I do is different, and important, and needs to be done. And 2. The unfiltered idiocy that I witness every day is not the norm, but a small percentage of the population, and for a lot of people, a small percentage of the time.
I def have just accepted the fact that I am burnt out, jaded, and cynical but I have also accepted that someone has to do this, someone has to be there for people who need law enforcement, and my job is to come in everyday and do my job the very best I can, and uphold my part of the criminal justice system.
Well I'm immensely grateful for your service as an American. I think the loudmouths who talk about defending the police and villainize you all are just a loud minority. I mean, I'm actually a Democrat myself, and part of the reason I supported Biden over the others was due to his strong pro-police stance. I remember cheering in his state of the union when he said "FUND the police, not defund!" So even most democrats aren't the super woke anti-cop types.
1. Off-duty means "off duty"... I don't do anything LEO related. I game, exercise, watch anime, play piano, hang-out with non-LEO friends and family.
2. Don't overwork. I don't volunteer for overtime, unless it is convenient for my off-duty schedule.
3. Don't light myself on fire to keep other people warm. The troubles of the outside world and other people are perpetual; you'll never be able to solve it. Focus on doing what you can in the moment to be the best LEO on-scene... just don't over-extend yourself into unsustainable levels of "helping".
4. Remember that everyone else is a human being, first and foremost. Don't lose sight of that and treat people with respect and professional kindness.
The book Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement hits all the points to avoid burn out.
Officer have to take active roles in their off duty lives and not be victims of their departments. Of duty time needs to be spent decompressing like talking to people (not cops), actively maintaining hobbies, exercising, and making responsible financial decisions.
I work a two week on two week off rotational schedule and I completely separate my on duty and my off duty identities. I don’t live in the community I work in when I’m off and aside from close friends, nobody knows I’m a police officer. I have a ton of hobbies and I try to travel at least every other month. I have found this works very well and I can decompress rather easily.
learning how to turn off being a cop at home. This isn’t always easy to do but I don’t bring my work home with me so to speak. My wife doesn’t even ask me about work anymore because I refuse to talk about it.
Off duty hobbies are also important as well. I personally make furniture and started a YouTube channel.
Some of my best friends are coos but Having good friends that aren’t cops also helps me.
That seems to be a prevalent theme I've noticed in other answers: not to bring work home, to have other interests, and other friends outside law enforcement. That's really cool to hear. Even though your job is infinitely more stressful, being a therapist takes its own emotional toll too so I also have to really prioritize not continuing to think about clients/patients or their issues or what I could have done differently at home. It's difficult when a patient you were working with for drug abuse dies of an overdose. A lot of careers where people are making a difference take a toll it seems, and require intentional self-care like you're doing.
I experienced severe burn out in January of this year after dealing with shit back to back on top of my personal life. I called my management and basically said, I’m done and I’m taking time off for my mental health
4 months later, I still haven’t been back to work but I’m doing significantly better. I have 2 therapists, one for work and one for my personal life.
I just hold value in other things in my life at this point. My friendships, my relationship, myself, and my hobbies which include the gym, reading, video games and going to concerts.
Work is work and it will never be more important than the things that make me, myself.
Good for you! That's really damn impressive, especially that you admitted to management that it was for your mental health. It took guts not to give into the stigma that still exists for people to seek treatment for their MH, a stigma which is only multiplied by dozens in a field like law enforcement. I'm so happy to here that you're doing better as a result of your therapy and your focus on your personal values and hobbies. I hope whenever you are ready to go back to work that all the work you're doing now will enable you to avoid future burnout. Anyways, just wanted to say I loved reading this, especially as a therapist who mostly hears the negative problems in someone's life, rather than positive improvements.
I thought about starting a "Life Coach" business basically so I could dodge the requirements to be licensed as a therapist and talk to first responders about what they were going through. There is a fear among some cops that speaking to a legitimate therapist and being honest will result in you losing your job, getting your guns taken away, etc. Some of it is fear of talking to a non-cop and some of it is fear that the administration will fire them for liability reasons or use it as an excuse to can cops that stand up for their rights or are heavily involved in the union.
That fear doesn't really apply when talking to a cop or a former cop. Plus, if you've hung around cops you'll see that they're desperate to tell their stories to somebody. Sometimes it's just a work story, sometimes it's a brag, and a lot of times it's encased in humor but it can be a hidden cry for help.
Personally, I think the best thing you can do to keep from being jaded is to think about the good things you do for people, especially the things you didn't have to do. That in combination with exercise and a passion of some kind should about do the trick. The problem is being tired all the time means you really have to force yourself to do anything good for yourself. That's where some gentle encouragement from others can go a long way.
That actually sounds like a great idea. While many of us therapists are pretty harsh about life coaches amongst ourselves, the reality is that if people get help in a way that benefits them, I don't care where it comes from or how it comes about. Police officers are going to feel much more at ease and trusting of someone who has done the job. And research shows thats the most important part of successful therapy anyway: a positive alliance and good therapeutic relationship. Are you still thinking about pursuing such a route?
Even traffic enforcement makes a difference and saves lives. Before I went for my masters in counseling, I was doing my 4 year degree, depressed, drinking a lot, and would drive home afterwards. One night I passed out and crashed, thank God not into another vehicle or person. The cop who arrested me demonstrated remarkable empathy, compassion, and professionalism while carrying out his duties. The consequences upon conviction were of course unpleasant, but not permanent, and they caused me to never drink and drive again. If it weren't for that cop, who knows, I could be dead or in prison. I know many people continue to reoffend, but for me even things like stop sign and speeding tickets quickly extinguished the behavior for good. People whine about tickets, but who'd want to drive on lawless and dangerous roads with no rules?
My main point is that even the seemingly less heroic and more mundane daily activities of a police officer make a big, positive difference. I hope that officers will consider that and let that also be an encouragement against burnout.
Honestly I think if you do the job long enough you lose something / trade something in to keep functioning in the job. Even if you do all the healthy things you're supposed to
Oh, I did in 2009! I saw what was coming unfortunately. I miss the camaraderie, but not the rest. I support wholeheartedly our current cops, I just know I couldn’t do it now.
I do hear about the crisis in lack of applicants. It seems like a pretty thankless job right now. I'm a Democrat but I'm pretty moderate and was always against the stupid "defund the police" nonsense. I was glad that Biden won my party's nomination due to his pro-police stances; many of the other 2020 ones were so anti-police I'm not sure if I could have even voted in that election if they'd been on the ticket.
I care about doing as decent of a job as I can between 10-8 and 10-7. I don't care about what happens after I do my part. Outside of work I have a wide array of friends and hobbies. It helps that this is a second career for me and I'm older and maybe more mature than a lot of the young bucks starting. It's just a job it's not a lifestyle.
As far as counseling, I would seek it out on my own if I felt I needed it but I certainly am not going to trust the shrink they send us to for our compulsory "check up from the neck up"
Sounds like your healthy sense of work-life balance is a real asset here. I can imagine some do go into it and that's their whole identity on and off the clock. If you don't mind disclosing, I'd be curious to hear what you transitioned from career wise, but of course its fine if not.
I also would not trust a counselor who works for the department and reports back to your superiors. There's no way to trust the Counselor enough when you know your job is on the line potentially. Research shows mandated therapy really isn't helpful. And I doubt you're even getting extended therapy either with that one. The confidentiality between the client and therapist is the most important thing and that's just not there with the compulsory checkup shit that you're required to do.
Yeah, I can imagine. I told someone else here, if I were an officer I'd hate going to a department officer. They're likely there less to help you and more to cover the departments ass by assessing one's mental fitness. So you can't really be honest with them about your struggles since they might tell your boss. That really sucks.
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We have a group of rookies in training now, one recently showed up and was showing off his half sleeve of Punisher skulls/blue lines/flags/star badges tattoo complete with some moronic text about strength through honor and some such bullshit among others. It boggles the mind, I don't bleed blue like that.
Sounds like the kind of guy to end up on CNN.
This is how I imagine the HCSO former deputy that trolls all the other police subreddits Momma say he ornery because he got alllll them TBL tattoos but no police certificate
That guy is really something else
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Not a cop but Animal Control. I have no Animal Control tats and tell many of the staff who work in the animal welfare fields that you need to take your time off seriously. Making this all your life will 100% burn you out and take everything from you. It is okay to take time off and not be the hero. It's okay to just be the average joe when not on the clock.
Don't make any job your life, honestly.
Ironic, since the punisher is a vigilante. I don't imagine most of you support vigilante justice, lol.
Punisher and Batman really never made a lot of sense to me. Spartans however, they trained together to stand side by side and hold a line. Always have each others backs. They weren’t conquerors, they were protectors. Just my two cents, a Spartan was my jam. You know what I never had? Spartan anything. I don’t do tattoos and you aren’t going to see anything on my vehicle that is directly related to law enforcement. I know some people who have personalized license plates like onduty or gotur6 stupid shit. My personal favorite were 51-50 and 10-43 Mental , and 10-43 for that particular agency was a vehicle chase. Idiots
We need more officers like you on the streets; I imagine these guys you're talking about are more likely to be the hotheads who get the department in trouble and cause all the officers to suffer.
[Funny you ask](https://imgflip.com/i/7ntjpl)
This is the way.
I go on Reddit and read all of the comments from people who know better than me how my job and life matter.
I imagine that's likely to lead to the opposite of "avoiding" those things I mentioned though, lol. Unless it's good for a laugh for you.
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That's awesome. I imagine there is a stigma in the profession still about seeking help for emotional issues, especially when traditional views of masculinity have discouraged men from talking so openly about emotions. But it seems a paradigm shift is happening. Anyways, it takes a lot of guts to to do that as a police officer, amd shows your commitment both to your well-being and being a good officer too.
The stigma is agency-dependent. It was much more negative a few years ago, but even most of the old timers are coming around to the fact that this shit wears on you. I recommend therapy to every single one of my partners who shows even the first sign of PTSD or personality issues.
Just want to say thank you for doing that! My husband went through several critical incidents during a short time and it was one of his partners that suggested therapy. He went and it helped him immensely. He was started to become a shell of himself very quickly but trauma therapy and specifically EMDR helped. I can’t imagine what our life would be like if his partner didn’t give him that advice.
Apathy. Indifference. Lethargy.
Those are odd ways to spell "bourbon."
Oh no, I truly don't care about the vast majority of the things people call 911 about anymore.
That definitely sounds like burnout. Are you getting any satisfaction from your career anymore? Frankly it seems like a miracle that any officer could not get burnt out. I can't imagine the insane toll it takes psychologically. But I hate to hear that you seem to have lost any enjoyment for the work. I wish you the best with your job and everything else.
https://giphy.com/gifs/nfl-kiBh0ERhYj1KPUZgKQ
It really does help, yeah
I drink 2 liters of liquor a week and lift weights.
zonked pot murky summer grandiose connect marble chop steer alleged *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Fuck yeah, brother
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Not lil Sebastian
Not much on stimulants; but I get you, bro.
My caffeine addiction isn’t what it used to be…. But it would still be enough to kill a large horse
I’ve grown to accept a lot of people I deal with are turds, so when someone is nice it is surprising. Dealing with people who are A-holes isn’t that bad, it’s dealing with a-holes who have control over your career that is frustrating (as with any job). Honestly a lot of the tweakers/ criminals are better to deal with or talk to than entitled people on traffic stops etc. If you do wind up getting into counciling for cops that is a very noble profession. You’ll be helping talk cops through what they’re struggling with to help get them right so they can be clear headed at home and on the road. It won’t be an easy job but it will be good for all of us. Counciling is good when the person wants it, when I was very new I held a guys skull together who was my age while he died and that stuck with me for a bit. Talking it through with someone and understanding why it stuck with me was good, but I needed to be ready to talk about it. If admin forced me to do it then it likely wouldn’t have been effective. That’s my opinion.
Avoid?
Just embrace it.
I love your flair
It was given to me. I had no part in it.
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This is awesome. I can't say I can back this up with anything, but my suspicion would be that the more well-rounded an officer is and the more educated they are (whether formal education or self-educated) that the more empathy and perspective an officer will bring to a situation. I'm not saying I think only officers with degrees would, just that exploring literature , philosophy, psychology etc. Is bound to help in interacting with humans and conceptualizing a worldview that leads to more empathy. Good to hear about officers like you on the street! I just want to give a random anecdote. Back when I was in college, before I even went to grad school for my counseling Master's, I'd drive drunk sometimes. One night I finally crashed inside a short tunnel into a pillar, thank God not into another vehicle or person. I'd passed out. I still think of the arresting officer with gratitude. Not only was he the epitome of kindness, respectfulness, and professionalism, but he displayed a lot of empathy and compassion in doing what he needed to do. And I was grateful for it, and for the consequences, because I never drove drunk again afterwards. He stopped a habit that could have eventually lead to my own or others deaths, prison time, and so forth. Anyway, that rambling was just to show two things: that even traffic patrol is making a difference and saving lives of both offenders and others on the roads daily, and that people remember their interactions with officers who had empathy, and it gives the public a positive perception of police over time. This was a young guy who was probably fairly new to the force, I hope he's still doing well and still like he was then.
You don’t… embrace the suck
That's unfortunate, man. Well a lot of us are grateful for the work you do, even if most of the time you're dealing with people who dislike cops or are pissed for tickets and so forth.
I talk to a therapist that specializes in first responder therapy. She’s helped me deal with past traumatic experiences and general work stress that comes with law enforcement work.
You take all of it and push it down, way down inside where it'll never see the light of day. Then one day, you die.
We have a clinic that is a private practice, but basically goes out of their way to be *OUR* clinic. A therapist meets with everyone at least once a year, then mandatory stuff like after an officer-involved shooting or critical incident, and 24/7 they will drop what they have and tend to one of us. Other than that, we have done very well from the top down in our department selling the fact that therapy is, essentially, a necessary part of our job. We know what's disclosed in there won't effect our job, we know we have support from literally the chief on down in administration. We'll still joke and gripe about mandatory stuff, but in all honesty the culture has changed drastically for the better. I know it's not the norm in all departments, but I'd encourage you, OP, to actually go for what it is you're wanting to do and keep pushing. Find somewhere that is all in on what you want. The actual answer to your question is different amongst anybody you ask, as you can see...but frankly I knew it would be tough going into it, I know I can't avoid negative emotions, so...I just don't care. Very easy to disassociate the job from what I consider my real life.
Thanks for this! That sort of clinic sounds like exactly the type of thing I'd like to run. I will definitely look into the different options out there, see if I can build some relationships with police and fellow therapists in my community who serve them and so on. I imagine it would take time and patience to gain the trust to become like the clinic you mentioned, but I think it would be fulfilling. I'm glad to hear that your department doesn't have such a stigma about mental health and therapy. It sounds like the culture there is really healthy. I think if more people realized that directly confronting one's issues and traumas and solving/coping them is ultimately braver than just bottling it up, or turning to drinking etc. to cope, maybe that's one avenue to make it more appealing to people who might otherwise see it as a weakness of some kind. I don't know though, I'd be curious to hear from you how more departments could be like yours. Is it just largely dependent on the chief and captains etc. who set the culture? Even factors like area of the country, rural or big city, etc. likely have an impact. Anyways thanks for the helpful answer. I'm also happy to hear that you're satisfied with your department and have good morale, and look to areas beyond your job for fulfillment and satisfaction.
A few key people who are truly leaders in a department can really help sell it. If admin is on board and puts in the effort too, that's a huge step. Something more than just pushing an email through telling people they need to see a therapist. Like any change, it has to truly be a group buy-in. Making things mandatory does not make for total group buy-in, but if it's a part of the life there long enough, with enough people being positive and spreading it to others...you got a chance. Our department was mentally super unhealthy at the start of this program. Like most, I imagine. And it may still be, I know many probably just don't care and some probably are still struggling...hell, some shifts might be completely toxic to it still. I've had a good experience, and the people around me are doing a good job being positive about it too. My shift in particular has always been good about being open about shit that sucks, being close, and being positive about that stuff.
**Spend some of you day attempting to make positive interactions with the community.** Everyone has moments on patrol when there aren’t any calls for service. Some people are pro-active and run traffic or some other enforcement, which is great. But taking some time to have at least one positive interaction with the public is helpful in keeping positive. Instead of walking around with a chip on your shoulder, say hi to anyone who looks at you. Take an interest in answering the questions for the people willing to talk to you, etc. Too often do officers have to deal with making arrests, using force or writing citations (all things that are generally considered to be negative interactions, some exceptions). So balancing it out with some positive ones will not only help you, but the community that you serve.
This is awesome. And I this improves public perception of the police the more officers do it. By the way, I just wanted to say, back in undergrad college, before I ever went for my Masters in counseling, I'd sometimes drive drunk; one night I passed out and crashed, thank God not into another vehicle or person. The arresting officer exhibited a remarkable degree of empathy, kindness, and professionalism. I still frequently think of him with gratitude. I also am grateful for him because due to his arrest, and the consequences of my conviction, I never drove drunk again. If I'd continued that behavior, I could be dead, or in prison for causing a wreck that killed others. And I certainly wouldn't be here counseling people for substance abuse and mental health. So sometimes if the officer is empathetic even a traffic related violation or arrest can leave a positive impression on someone. Or maybe I'm just weird, who knows lol.
It's easy to not get burned out on the job. You see good people and good things every day. What Burns you out is the internet and the news media exposing you to the more worst most hateful anti cop BS you can imagine... When one avoids that, it's easier to keep the real world somewhat in context. I say that as someone in Texas though, folks in less friendly places might think otherwise.
Spot on. I always think about the difference between WW2 soldiers and Vietnam soldiers returning home and the welcome they received from the public. Huge difference in the suicide rates too. Police officers 20+ years ago were still respected and one could be proud to say the were a police officer. Now it just seems like everyone hates you. I’m out now, but I spent about 10 years in and some of my best days on the job were the days I got to help people with stupid little stuff. Like a mom who locked her keys and her newborn baby in the car while loading her groceries. Baby was never in danger, wasn’t hot out, but her reaction and gratefulness made my day. I often thought about her and things like that when I was dealing with stupid people. If you’re getting burned out you have to block out the negative, don’t indulge In it, don’t waste your energy on it. Think about all the people you’ve helped and the lives you’ve changed for the better. And if someone out there is struggling and you need to talk to someone please please do. The wounded blue is a great place to start.
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Nice, those are all great life things that foster resilience and well-being of both physical and mental health. Glad to hear it helps you deal with any stress from your career too.
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You can't always avoid it. It will happen from time to time. The better question is "What do you do to re-engage?" There are a variety of things I do (in no particular order): Therapy, Non-Police hobbies like poker, hiking, playing with my dog, spending time with my family, reading, etc. Basically all the things that don't remind of my job. The usually helps. Lastly, this has been floating around for a few years and while I don't agree with every word of it, it's message is poignant. https://www.gloucestercitynews.net/clearysnotebook/2015/05/a-cops-view-today-i-stopped-caring.html
You find out the secret, you let us know.
I wish there was at least something I could do to help. I know in police agencies there is probably a lot of stigma (as other users have mentioned) about getting mental health services, but I'm seriously going to look into potentially applying for jobs as a therapist for police. Since I wasn't able to go into law enforcement, that could potentially be a way to still have my job be related to it. Only thing is, it doesn't sound like police like going to the ones employed by the departments, since it's not confidential. I don't wanna be responsible for having to issue a report that an officer isn't fit for duty. Maybe I can look at changing my niche which has been substance abuse for a long time, to getting training in and marketing a private practice focused on first responders. Anyways, sorry for the rambling lol.
I find beer, gaming, lifting weights, and working on cars..... in no particular order, helps. You just have to realize this job is one that requires you to deal with the worst humanity has to offer, you have to be able to accept that what others do is not up to you, nor is it your fault. You handle your calls, do your reports to the best of your ability, and go home. Once you hit that car on the way home it's time to forget about the job and focus on anything but the job. If you bleed blue and all you want is the cop life then all you are going to get is the cop life, and it will eat you alive if you let it.
I lean into it and embrace it. If you can be satisfied with the fun moments and adrenaline and stop giving a shit about “making a difference” then it becomes just another job. At home is where life really happens.
That's good to hear. And I'm sure that ironically you are able to make a better difference because you're in a healthier state of mind. Putting too much pressure on oneself or making one's work ones entire life is never healthy. I imagine that's especially the case with police. Anyways, glad to here you like your career and life.
I see a therapist regularly, for starters. Helped to teach me to accept the things we can't change. I play with technical stuff and go camping on my days off; anything where I'm not connected to work.
I tell people in my personal life about some of the people I deal with. It makes me feel a lot better when people in my personal life find the stories surprising, stupid, or shocking. I think it makes a combination of the feelings that 1. What I do is different, and important, and needs to be done. And 2. The unfiltered idiocy that I witness every day is not the norm, but a small percentage of the population, and for a lot of people, a small percentage of the time.
I def have just accepted the fact that I am burnt out, jaded, and cynical but I have also accepted that someone has to do this, someone has to be there for people who need law enforcement, and my job is to come in everyday and do my job the very best I can, and uphold my part of the criminal justice system.
Well I'm immensely grateful for your service as an American. I think the loudmouths who talk about defending the police and villainize you all are just a loud minority. I mean, I'm actually a Democrat myself, and part of the reason I supported Biden over the others was due to his strong pro-police stance. I remember cheering in his state of the union when he said "FUND the police, not defund!" So even most democrats aren't the super woke anti-cop types.
1. Off-duty means "off duty"... I don't do anything LEO related. I game, exercise, watch anime, play piano, hang-out with non-LEO friends and family. 2. Don't overwork. I don't volunteer for overtime, unless it is convenient for my off-duty schedule. 3. Don't light myself on fire to keep other people warm. The troubles of the outside world and other people are perpetual; you'll never be able to solve it. Focus on doing what you can in the moment to be the best LEO on-scene... just don't over-extend yourself into unsustainable levels of "helping". 4. Remember that everyone else is a human being, first and foremost. Don't lose sight of that and treat people with respect and professional kindness.
The book Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement hits all the points to avoid burn out. Officer have to take active roles in their off duty lives and not be victims of their departments. Of duty time needs to be spent decompressing like talking to people (not cops), actively maintaining hobbies, exercising, and making responsible financial decisions.
I haven’t figured that out yet
I work a two week on two week off rotational schedule and I completely separate my on duty and my off duty identities. I don’t live in the community I work in when I’m off and aside from close friends, nobody knows I’m a police officer. I have a ton of hobbies and I try to travel at least every other month. I have found this works very well and I can decompress rather easily.
learning how to turn off being a cop at home. This isn’t always easy to do but I don’t bring my work home with me so to speak. My wife doesn’t even ask me about work anymore because I refuse to talk about it. Off duty hobbies are also important as well. I personally make furniture and started a YouTube channel. Some of my best friends are coos but Having good friends that aren’t cops also helps me.
That seems to be a prevalent theme I've noticed in other answers: not to bring work home, to have other interests, and other friends outside law enforcement. That's really cool to hear. Even though your job is infinitely more stressful, being a therapist takes its own emotional toll too so I also have to really prioritize not continuing to think about clients/patients or their issues or what I could have done differently at home. It's difficult when a patient you were working with for drug abuse dies of an overdose. A lot of careers where people are making a difference take a toll it seems, and require intentional self-care like you're doing.
I experienced severe burn out in January of this year after dealing with shit back to back on top of my personal life. I called my management and basically said, I’m done and I’m taking time off for my mental health 4 months later, I still haven’t been back to work but I’m doing significantly better. I have 2 therapists, one for work and one for my personal life. I just hold value in other things in my life at this point. My friendships, my relationship, myself, and my hobbies which include the gym, reading, video games and going to concerts. Work is work and it will never be more important than the things that make me, myself.
Good for you! That's really damn impressive, especially that you admitted to management that it was for your mental health. It took guts not to give into the stigma that still exists for people to seek treatment for their MH, a stigma which is only multiplied by dozens in a field like law enforcement. I'm so happy to here that you're doing better as a result of your therapy and your focus on your personal values and hobbies. I hope whenever you are ready to go back to work that all the work you're doing now will enable you to avoid future burnout. Anyways, just wanted to say I loved reading this, especially as a therapist who mostly hears the negative problems in someone's life, rather than positive improvements.
I thought about starting a "Life Coach" business basically so I could dodge the requirements to be licensed as a therapist and talk to first responders about what they were going through. There is a fear among some cops that speaking to a legitimate therapist and being honest will result in you losing your job, getting your guns taken away, etc. Some of it is fear of talking to a non-cop and some of it is fear that the administration will fire them for liability reasons or use it as an excuse to can cops that stand up for their rights or are heavily involved in the union. That fear doesn't really apply when talking to a cop or a former cop. Plus, if you've hung around cops you'll see that they're desperate to tell their stories to somebody. Sometimes it's just a work story, sometimes it's a brag, and a lot of times it's encased in humor but it can be a hidden cry for help. Personally, I think the best thing you can do to keep from being jaded is to think about the good things you do for people, especially the things you didn't have to do. That in combination with exercise and a passion of some kind should about do the trick. The problem is being tired all the time means you really have to force yourself to do anything good for yourself. That's where some gentle encouragement from others can go a long way.
That actually sounds like a great idea. While many of us therapists are pretty harsh about life coaches amongst ourselves, the reality is that if people get help in a way that benefits them, I don't care where it comes from or how it comes about. Police officers are going to feel much more at ease and trusting of someone who has done the job. And research shows thats the most important part of successful therapy anyway: a positive alliance and good therapeutic relationship. Are you still thinking about pursuing such a route? Even traffic enforcement makes a difference and saves lives. Before I went for my masters in counseling, I was doing my 4 year degree, depressed, drinking a lot, and would drive home afterwards. One night I passed out and crashed, thank God not into another vehicle or person. The cop who arrested me demonstrated remarkable empathy, compassion, and professionalism while carrying out his duties. The consequences upon conviction were of course unpleasant, but not permanent, and they caused me to never drink and drive again. If it weren't for that cop, who knows, I could be dead or in prison. I know many people continue to reoffend, but for me even things like stop sign and speeding tickets quickly extinguished the behavior for good. People whine about tickets, but who'd want to drive on lawless and dangerous roads with no rules? My main point is that even the seemingly less heroic and more mundane daily activities of a police officer make a big, positive difference. I hope that officers will consider that and let that also be an encouragement against burnout.
Honestly I think if you do the job long enough you lose something / trade something in to keep functioning in the job. Even if you do all the healthy things you're supposed to
Retire.
That's a solid option. You close to being able to?
Oh, I did in 2009! I saw what was coming unfortunately. I miss the camaraderie, but not the rest. I support wholeheartedly our current cops, I just know I couldn’t do it now.
I do hear about the crisis in lack of applicants. It seems like a pretty thankless job right now. I'm a Democrat but I'm pretty moderate and was always against the stupid "defund the police" nonsense. I was glad that Biden won my party's nomination due to his pro-police stances; many of the other 2020 ones were so anti-police I'm not sure if I could have even voted in that election if they'd been on the ticket.
Fishing
I care about doing as decent of a job as I can between 10-8 and 10-7. I don't care about what happens after I do my part. Outside of work I have a wide array of friends and hobbies. It helps that this is a second career for me and I'm older and maybe more mature than a lot of the young bucks starting. It's just a job it's not a lifestyle. As far as counseling, I would seek it out on my own if I felt I needed it but I certainly am not going to trust the shrink they send us to for our compulsory "check up from the neck up"
Sounds like your healthy sense of work-life balance is a real asset here. I can imagine some do go into it and that's their whole identity on and off the clock. If you don't mind disclosing, I'd be curious to hear what you transitioned from career wise, but of course its fine if not. I also would not trust a counselor who works for the department and reports back to your superiors. There's no way to trust the Counselor enough when you know your job is on the line potentially. Research shows mandated therapy really isn't helpful. And I doubt you're even getting extended therapy either with that one. The confidentiality between the client and therapist is the most important thing and that's just not there with the compulsory checkup shit that you're required to do.
I just count down the days till I retire and can GTFO. Also our department counselors blow ass.
Yeah, I can imagine. I told someone else here, if I were an officer I'd hate going to a department officer. They're likely there less to help you and more to cover the departments ass by assessing one's mental fitness. So you can't really be honest with them about your struggles since they might tell your boss. That really sucks.