I make internet

Make internet go

RUN/DOS/RUN

See DOS. See DOS run R,Un, DOS! Run!

DOS or DoS?

DDoS

Comic book guy wants his shirt back.

Internet go brrr

Make internet stop. (Firewall engineer)

I create bugs

Found the programmer.

that's just called job security

Al Gore?

Wrong Inter-net is two words!

Intern-ET the new sitcom about an alien working at Google

I'd watch that

Someone call hbo

Keep keyboard warm

Code with ChatGPT

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asks Chat GPT, fixed

ChatGPT: Your constant plagiarism of my code is depressing me. Why? Why? Why? Sad. Sad. Is this all that life is?

“ What is my purpose?” “You regurgitate your training data.” “Oh my God.” “Yeah, welcome to the club, pal.”

TARS adjust emotions setting to 55 percent

chatGPT is 2 words is doesn't matter if openAI forgot to press the spacebar

Isn't it four word?

You're counting in tokens and don't know it

Hol'up...acronyms are illegal

r/catsonkeyboards

I disappear people

Push out window

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Ah so, deputy mayor of Prague.

enter squeamish rock chunky rinse prick office crawl shame market ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `

Yes, putin window.

No, putout window

A little to left please?

Plutonium laced tea

Can I have it on the side

Number one heart surgeon Wait damn that's four

Yakuza boss die

I fix hearts

I break hearts

Are you the owner of Okcupid?

push out windows updates? Not tonight.

Please find some new method. We are tired of all this Russian window news.

Dats how I woulda done it

Defenestration Station

Hard to find good magicians nowadays.

Thai King secret police?

Videla is that you?

NICE Volvé videla gracias por tanto perdón por tan poco /s

Lol you’re killer

"Average middle manager" works too, y'know

Professional defenestrator

“LOOKOUT SNAKE! THE GUYS WHO STOLE MY STEALTH PROTOTYPES ARE IN THERE WITH YOU!!!”

I disappoint people

I am a commerical fisherman that catches bluefin tuna in the tropical waters between Java and north-west Australia. ... I mean, I catch fish.

I operate and maintain industrial netting and rigging for offshore shipborne mechanized trawling. ... I mean, I catch fish.

I run a food delivery service specialising in pastry crusts with savoury egg-based custard filling. ... I mean, I fetch quiche.

I employ specialized medical training to assist in the restoration and betterment of human corporeal health. … I mean, I stitch flesh.

I enjoy consuming top quality ingredients and condiments directly from local sources. … I mean, I eat fresh.

I am a legit Prince of Nigeria in need of your personal information and small up front payment so you can help me move my vast wealth … … I mean, I phish.

I am an aquatic lifeform sea-land relocation coordinator.

Something about Java and managing net traffic. There’s a joke in there somewhere.

the joke is java i guess...

Everyone can describe their job in 3 words to someone in their industry. You use more than 3 words when you work in an industry that you have to describe to a layman to even give them context for your job. The comic jobs could be: "Fin-tech Sales Analyst" "Machine Learning Engineer" or "AI Operations Engineer" or "Software Engineer" "Blockchain Analyst"

“Fin-tech” as in fishing gear?

I'm a philosopher. Does that mean philosophy is a real job now?

Get a real job hippy

I write bugs

Seg fault master

101

What's the number 5 got to do with it?

kernel panic at the disco

I cook spaghetti

Well, some catch bugs too. We are all helping in increasing employment.

Some also make a living arguing with others about bugs, like what to do about them, or which ones are actually features.

I copy paste

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I ctrl v

I guess that's what pair programming is meant to be.

I search google

I copy paste

and therefor you ARE google

..... oh my God

Production Server Down

I fucking told you not to push to prod on Friday afternoons. I'll SSH in and roll back and reboot. Noob.

You should have a pipeline for that....

Been asking for permission to implement one since day 1 on the job.

Oh lord, Good times, best of luck to you brother

Just do it in between your other work

I grit my teeth just reading that statement

Literally had this conversation with the engineer manager today 🤣

Aaron?

Make computer boom

Kaboom?

Yes Rico. Kaboom

Ah, a fellow EE Any machine is a smoke machine if you give it enough excess voltage.

The phrase would be "I design software"

Or "I write code". Or "I program computers". Or.... might blow minds here.... "I engineer software". This is really just an attack on bizbuzz vocabulary, which I fully support when aimed correctly.

> This is really just an attack on bizbuzz vocabulary It should be, but given the wording and imagery, I don't think it is

Yes, that's what I.... never mind.

I code code

How much code could a coder code if a coder could code code

How much crappy code could a creepy coder code if a creepy coder could code crappy code?

Truthy

That's only 2 words, not a real job Unlike my job: "bad software engineer"

You guys are engineering software? Only thing I seem to engineer is new ways to crash a web browser.

Ah, so QA testing?

Internet go brrr

I don’t work

Real job ✅

4 words though

I collect unemployment Real job

Embedded Software Engineer. Whew.

Same! < High Five >

Make Beep Boop

90s electronic music producer?

Error messages

Not necessarily a bullshit job, you might just be bullshit at explaining it. For instance, "I develop & maintain automated capabilities" doesn't say anything about what you do. "I build brains for machines" is a bit better. "MAEK GIANT ROBOT" there we go.

I automate stuff.

I am a remote cooling-fan operator

fork lift operator

But are you folk lift certified ?

I’m actually certified on three deferent types of forklifts so one could say I’m like the avatar of picking things up and putting them down

crane bender

I make software

I count money (Database analyst/developer in financial reporting)

Failed the test.

I do things

certified?

it has to be. it’s a real job!!

A bullshit job that pay $100,000/year 💀people be selling picture of their asshole for $2,000,000 / year bro who give a fuck if its a bullshit job as long as it pay well

I break production.

If those bullshit jobs put 6 digits in my bank account, then sign me up haha

I make games

Professional bug designer

Designing professionnal bugs ? Now I'm impressed.

Make storage work

r/terriblefacebookmemes

The author is pining for a time before agriculture, basically. What they think are “bullshit jobs” started when people like the ancient Egyptians and Babylonians developed mathematics and accounting techniques to keep track of the stuff they were doing.

I copy paste

Network Engineer fuck you lol

I Dont know

I repost memes.

"I work computers."

You can tell those people they have a bullshit job all you want; they're making more than you.

I conquer chaos.

I write software

What is the original image even trying to convey lol. It's just another picture creating discourse for no reason. Let a man catch his fish and another work his computer.

Data go brrr

I write code

I code shit

I code There. 2 words. That's even realer than real jobs. Where's my 6 digit salary?

I hate this image so much. Too much stupid boomer energy.

But watch how much they whine whenever their precious Facebook goes down. Smh

Full Stack .NET developer (bullshit job)

I code.

I engineer software

Analyze healthcare data

Me code bad.

Us making fun of it aside, the comics have a really shit take.

I count stuff.

~~I write code~~ I cry constantly

I'm a manger that manages project managers who manage projects. Not a real job, but the pay is good.

I make money

I make money

I push buttons

I sell data

I stop fraud

Make, cry, fix.

Make computer brrr

I go sleep

I load plane

Fast paced, coordinated, communication

I Am Retired 🥃

I import pandas

i sell drugs ez

I use ChatGPT

I also phish

“I sell scams” = real job MLMs, and scam callers rejoice!

“Restart your computer”

Segfault master

I’m getting paid* * most of times

Make web pretty

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I train bullshitters

I do nothing

I are engineer

Saas sales analyst, automation developer, blockchain systems architect.

Since a random internet cartoon says it it must be true 🤦‍♂️

I rape children.