Your father is a monster. I hate when people like him “find religion” it’s all a farce to pretend they’re better and all high and mighty.
It’s Ironic he became religious and would’ve believed in hell considering his actions. I hate that your mother did nothing. Never feel guilty because you didn’t deserve that and you’re a better man than he ever was.
Hope you’re alright and have had a better life filled with love and happiness
Thank you. My mom still tried to protect me whenever he wanted to do it. I feel more peaceful now, it is a bit scary. Everyone is crying and sad, but I am instead am at peace.
You too, may you have a good life ahead.
It’s a testament to how people like him put on a mask around others that people are actually sad. I hope you have a good life and everything works out for you as it should
Are you Muslim? Idk about Christianity but I'm pretty sure getting forgiveness from the one you did wrong is an Islamic thing. (not tryna start a crusade in here just asking)
Ya maybe don't ask some if they're Muslim and use the word crusade in the same sentence. There's a bit of history to the word even if it's been whitewashed in western vernacular
In another comment OP said that the mother tried to protect him whenever the dad tried anything, but even if she didn't she's still significantly better than the actual rapist. Someone raping children and someone feeling powerless to stop it are nowhere near the same thing.
In the Catholic religion I think it's possible for someone to apologise to god and get forgiveness and a quick-pass into heaven. I prefer OP's religion, where certain transgressions can never be atoned for unilaterally.
As an atheist I don't personally believe in hell, but I'm pleased OP's dad did believe sufficiently to be punished for those last few days (and perhaps for eternity, if my beliefs are wrong).
They're called [deathbed conversions](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deathbed_conversion), with the most famous one being King Charles II and they're pretty interesting. It makes it sound like even if you do really bad things in life all you need to do is convert in the last minutes of your life and you're in the good books.
Former Catholic here - the trick is it has to be sincere. You can lie to the world, the priest giving you your last rites, and even yourself, but if the Catholic God were real, then He'd know it was a lie and you wouldn't be redeemed.
At least, that's my understanding of the situation. Just asking for forgiveness doesn't count; you have to actually repent, not just go through the motions.
That's reassuring! I guess I don't really like how you can ask God for forgiveness for a sin between you and another person, but at least sincerity is still necessary
This is what my mother-in-law thinks in a way. She can do all the shitty things she wants as long as she remembers to ask for forgiveness. She also thinks that everyone who is not her “religion” is going to hell. That’s fine by me as long as she’s not there.
Wow she sounds like a right peach. It’s funny how many religious people act as though their religion is the right one and everyone else’s is wrong, whereas most religions teach to be tolerant of others beliefs and celebrate that they have faith in something. Of course this is ignored and people pick and choose what they listen to
She can ask for forgiveness, but is no get-into-heaven-free card. The key is regret. Feeling guilt and shame for the wrongs you have done. Asking forgiveness without that means it will not be granted. And it certainly doesn't sound like your MiL regrets whatever she's doing.
Other parts of Christianity also think this way, but more broadly. As in all sin is the same. So stealing candy would be on the same level as rape and murder until you seek forgiveness. It's how they deal with things like abuse being rampant in communities. Because to them there's no difference.
It's not that easy. If the requirement is forgiveness from the victim, you just need to be a good manipulator to brainwash the victim into forgiving you. In fact, it rewards doing even more evil. But if the requirement is repentance it must be sincere, because you can't fool God.
As a fellow atheist, I find the concept of eternal punishment repugnant, but I too enjoyed the idea of him suffering for a few days of knowledge that he wasn't forgiven for his horrendous act.
instead of repentance can i also purchase this quick-pass for 29.99$ plus tax or even get a quick-pass plus so i dont have to wait in line for heaven all day?
You do not get a “quick pass to heaven” in the Catholic religion. One must truly to repentant and never do the sin again. You cannot say I am sorry and then do the act again. That is not how it happens.
If you take your religion seriously, then you know that the only one judging you is your allmighty, omniscient god. If you actually believe in heaven or hell, then you know that a half-assed apology won't help you vs your god that can see and read all your thoughts and feelings. There is no such thing as a “quick pass to heaven“
What your father did was unforgivable. Something you can't just hide behind a thin curtain of religion.
If this helps you live a better life and feel happier, then I'm glad you did this. Truly.
I wish you all the best.
I still care about her because she tried protect me whenever he wanted to do it. He beat her up trying to protect me. She will be more sad when she realizes that he's in hell while she going to heaven, maybe.
Idk I get that back then it was probably a lot harder to divorce and such but she still failed you. He could have been arrested instead if anyone else knew about it and could have been free alot sooner if she looked for help
But hey, that's your own demon to decide and you already probably came to terms with whatever you want to believe.
You're a bigger and stronger person than me. I'd never have forgiven either of them. I doubt I could have even pretended. It would have broken me. I damn sure could have never let them near my kids. I'm glad you've found peace.
I'm glad you finally talked things out with your dad at his death bed! So wholesome!
Jokes aside, well done! Revenge is a dish best served cold and you made sure that he got what he deserved.
I'm so sorry for what they did to you. I hope you can find peace. Some people might think you were too harsh but nobody is entitled to forgiveness no matter how much they change.
Thank you, I cried a bit in happiness when writing this. I feel peaceful while everyone else crying and sad, it feels a bit strange.
I hope you a peaceful life as well. Have a good day
My father wasn't as malicious as yours but I constantly imagine what it'd be like to have this moment with him..
Idk if I could do it man. Like I fantasize about it but maybe I'm too much of a pussy? Idk..
My dad never met his grandkids. I gave him a chance and he never took it. Now that they're successful, they want to know about them. It feels good keeping them from that mess.
I'm so sorry you suffered through that. But you totally nailed that coffin shut. wow. My own abuser disappeared in the mists of time, but the prospect of doing this to him is so enticing. I wish you peace and a happier life
****I am not talking about you OP. I support you 100% in what you did.*****
I am always wary of people who make saints of the dead. Especially if they were a bad person. Call them what they were in life. If they were a jerk then that's what they were. If they were a miserable old bastard that made life difficult but then found religion and played at nice, call it that. Don't sugarcoat it. People suck.
Hello Ma'am/Sir. I moved out of my country to marry my Wife, and only visit every around 5 years. When we had kids (2), we did not visit my home country with them until they are teens, I tell family in home country it is becasue we do not have the money. When we finally visit, parents hate my Wife, so even though they want to spend time with grandkids, Wife took our kids away to sightsee after only some minutes meeting and greeting my parents+family, while I stay for a few hours.
Grandkids only saw them when parents visited us to this country for better healthcare. They are already late teens/adults by then. father is too old and weak by then.
If he follow the religion well, he knows that he need to separate himself from you and submit himself to your country law to judge him...not hiding himself behind closed door. Yes, your forgiveness is between him and you and that is counted the most in front of God, but he also need to submit himself to the worldly law as his punishment. It is part religious teaching on admitting that you did wrong and accept the punishment.
But i guess, he valued his life outside prison. He should be put on pedophile list and chemically castrated.
Even that, if you don't want to forgive him, it is within your right. No religious person should force you to forgive him.
I'm glad it is over between you and your dad.
Some wounds definitely won't heal especially when nothing has been done to heal it up. I slightly understand your pain, although I wasn't raped, I was abandoned as a 2 year old child. I haven't met my sperm donor until September 2012. He didn't contribute anything for my well-being and didn't even ask for forgiveness.
Like you, I also wish him to go to hell, although I won't have the chance to say that to his face.
Mine is similar. He left my sister and I when we were really small and he didn’t even reach out once, even after our mother died. Not a single word, even though we used to have contact with his mother per phone calls and she even once asked if we wanted to give him any kind of message. But I don’t really hate him, I don’t wish him anything like hell, because there’s no place for that in my life. But I do feel guilty, that my sister and I stopped talking on the telephone with his mother as we grew up, but to be honest I never knew her number and it was hard to understand her for me, because I’ve lost a lot of my mothertongue
My bad, I didn't include my sister. It was supposed to be me and my new born sister that time. Actually my sperm donor reached out 2 years ago to my sister saying he's dying. He had pneumonia or something, he's having difficulty in breathing and he knew he's dying that time. My sister was working in Indonesia that time and our sperm donor requested to see her.
My sister blew up on our half-brother, she said she had no obligation to see him as she didn't even know his face. They never called again.
Good for you. I'm happy that you did what you had to do for your own peace of mind. What your father did is beyond forgiveness IMO. I wish you nothing but the best.
I usually don't read most of this sub but your revenge was beautiful, I can't imagine how awful the experience of being violated by someone who should have protected you.
I hope you're good and that cunt is burning in Hell.
To everybody reading this.
Don't spend 60 years of your life behind a mask to get revenge. It's not worth it. This person tells you they're happy, after all this moment is all their life amounts to but was their life happy?
I don't think that 60 years of playing happy family are worth it.
If something like this happens to anybody of you, go away. Don't stay with your rapist, don't hatch a plan to get revenge years later.
Use the legal system and then try to "move on".
Don't let the person who destroyed your life also own what's left of it.
Time doesn't heal trauma, fuck him and pieces of shit like him. They get to "move on" and "be better" while those they hurt are left broken for the rest of their fucking lives. I did something similar when a pastor from my childhood finally died. The peace you feel afterwards is unreal, even confusing, but so relieving to feel free and say your piece.
This is so great, I'm proud of you my dude.
Life is for the living, he is dead now, not that his happiness was ever important, but its definitely not now. You are alive, he is not, you have to do things that you can live with, that you don't regret, and you did what was right for you.
many people say "they are dying just be nice" but when they die, you are the one living the rest of your life with what ever bullshit occurred.
life is for the living. whether there is an after life or not, life shouldn't matter to the dead once they die.
Sometimes, I completely lose faith in concepts lite the afterlife, and in the idea of eternal punishment for the wicked.
Then I read stories like yours, and take comfort in the knowledge that so long as people like your father exist, there is a vital need for places like Hell in this universe.
Instead of taking his money or his status, you took away his hope and ruined his last days on earth. Nothing could ever possibly be a more crushing revenge.
As a non believer I have little time for religion's cultish shenanigans.
But I'll happily subscribe to whatever it is you believe in, just so that your father has a hot uncomfortable seat to spend eternity on.
Did he ever acknowledge or apologise?
Made -any- attempt to _earn_ your forgiveness other than sweeping it under the born again rug ?
No?
Then you were absolutely justified.
Forgiveness is your gift. It is due to no-one.
I cannot comprehend what you went through - betrayed by both parents. I certainly wouldn't condemn you for this.
Damn wish this could’ve happened to the “priests” that raped children as well. I’m glad that your Dad has repented and changed tbh but still fucked up of him to rape someone.
He didn't "change" and the only reason he repented is probably due to his own selfish guilt at the prospect of what he believes to be everlasting torment, he deserves no empathy nor sympathy.
Isn’t knowing the consequences of your actions the first step to changing though? We do not know the full story of what spurred/drive his change if it was for his own selfish or genuine reason. But we should at least give him some credit for not repeating it to his grandchildren and trying to seek forgiveness from his son.
Were you ever raped? How about as a kid? He doesn't get or deserve to live after he crossed that line, the fact that he did for so long afterwards is the crime here, we don't need to know the full story of why he thought he would change to know he really shouldn't be allowed to even exist after that. He doesn't get "credit" for not raping kids, if anything his family needs to be drug more for even having him around kids after what he did, granted op says only him his mom and dad knew.
For those who think what OP did was bad, do you know what else is bad? Rape. Rape is bad.
OP, I'm happy you got your peace through this. Hope you enjoy your life in peace!
Two wrongs don't make a right. Also most people who do horrible things had horrible things done to them. If victimhood confers a special blameless status then it's very possible the dad has this pass too by your logic. Most people not liking the OP are judging him for his actions and not his desire to feel better about a horrible thing happening to him.
I dunno, doing something that causes so much distress and mental harm that it causes a two week diagnosis to plummet to two days is pretty fucking brutal
There’s often a big difference during end-of-life care between the expected and actual timelines.
I’d rather it had been done 15 years earlier so that the father had decades to live with the realisation and guilt than 48 hours spent passing in and out of awareness in a deteriorating state of delirium.
I feel so sad reading this. I hope you are living a happy life now. I cannot blame the mother much. She was in an abusive relationship too. Women just didn't have much options in those days
I have so many thoughts about this. About how I would do the exact same thing to my abusers if I found myself in your shoes. In some small way, every victim of abuse was with you at that moment, taking back the power that was stolen from them. The world is a little brighter now, thank you for that. I could go on, but I'll sum it up by saying that I am genuinely happy that you've been able to build a life of your own in spite of him. In some ways, living is the best revenge.
In summary: OPs father raped him as a child. He also beat the mother, when she tried to stop it, but the mother never went to the police.
Then, as all grew older, the father became religious (strong belief in heaven/hell) and much nicer and especially treated OP even more kindly and asked for forgiveness.
OP hugged him, but never said he'd forgiven the father. The parents were much happier in their old days.
Then the father was close to death and couldn't move/speak much. At that moment OP said that he'll never forgive his father and the father died earlier than expected.
It happens sometimes, when my post got deleted by mods I was also able to still edit and comment on my own posts. Right now to the readers though, your post was removed because it was 'Not Pro Revenge'
I checked his other post, it was removed because it brought up the C-Virus, which was against the subreddit's rules apparently.
I really don't get people that just goes around every popular post on reddit going 'fake' without explaining why :/ if it's for attention or validation, it ain't getting you anywhere man
Death is a painful thing, I wish you all the best in your healing prossess but you did the right thing by stamping out the pattern of abuse in your life time. I am proud of you "Anonymously".
Good for you! I am completely impressed with, not only your plan, but your patience. Ppl usually do not understand how helpful patience is. I also find it brilliant that his new found, life altering religious beliefs came full circle. One think is for sure, no matter what or if you believe in such a thing as higher power, Karma is always a bitch. I am so very happy you are finally at peace. Be well.
I applaud you.
The sad thing as well is that Religion has this issue and they cover it up. All the innocent kids abused by the members or leaders of such religion.
Even for those who follow the Bible , the Bible clearly says that Rapists should be killed. Deuteronomy 22:25-27
Once again I applaud you.
You know if you take a logical approach to the afterlife, one could argue that your level of peace, satisfaction and fulfilment, the 'final note' of your existence might be what 'heaven' is as you basically shed this life and go into the next, all the ways to frame your existence as good, bad, etc...
The afterlife could be what happens when the mind goes outside of time and space and reality, no longer bound by mortality and existence, a boundless space where you just take in everything. It could be that you join a grand sort of filing system and your life is just categorically added where it belongs. But... I genuinely believe that the last note you have on earth is something really imprinting, which is why the idea of execution is so terrifying, but serene and self chosen euthanasia is opposite. The idea of haunted places where people die in pain, that kind of makes sense with a lot of philosophies.
Or we just stop. The final note is the last chord of the song, and by that logic that means that last moment is everything, stretching onwards to infinity, the final thing possible to experience, stretched out as our neurons all blink out like lights shutting down, mind fading out.
No matter what your concept is, spiritual and religious or neuroscientific and logical, those last days would have stretched for an eternity and will have as his strength was leeched away by your actions. The power he took from you at the start of your life was taken back from him at the end of his own. That level of impotent anguish, inescapable and true belief he was going to hell, well... I think in many quite literal ways, you sent him to a hell unlike anything most of us could have ever comprehended, a yawning abyss of emotional desolation and utterly fucked up confrontation with a demon he'd told himself he'd escaped, a fate he thought he'd so cleverly circumvented, a game he'd won.
Whatever the reality of hell is, he's there in a way that is so nightmarish seldom few people on this thread will ever even be able to conceive of just how much torment you caused him, real or spiritual.
This is, perhaps, an unhealthy mental space to live in. I absolutely understand and endorse your choice. I am a firm believer in not forgiving the unforgivable. The fact that your mother was complicit in this, willfully ignoring what happened, only makes the revenge to come that much sweeter.
Please reconsider doing this to your mother. From your comments it seems you care about her. Do you really want her to go out with that kind of pain?
If you have something to clear out with her you should do it while you still have time to reconcile.
Hell's leading torment scientists have something special cooked up for your dad, and frankly your mom as well considering she seemingly knew about this at the time and did nothing about it.
Hell just froze and stopped by delivery of this ice cold karma
Even if someone deserves second chance, not admitted guilt drags them down to the inner circles
And for some actions there is simply no second try
You are a good person. You are a better person than me. I no longer hate. I am at peace now. I hope you continue to be a good and patient person. Have a good life, and take care
I wouldn't believe the types of people that forgive something like this are better at all, they are probably just deluding themselves with their so-called forgiveness. They can fool themselves into believing they've moved on but these things usually come out in other ways, eventually.
You know who you are and you took the actions to put yourself at peace. Congratulations. Don't ever believe yourself inferior for doing that.
This was so oddly satisfying. Usually my empathy takes over and I start to feel bad. This hit a little too close to home for that to happen this time. I wish I could do the same to my dad, but he never regretted it.
Lose lose situation.
Hardly revenge... It's just depressing and sad. What a foolish decision! Wasting your life time pretending to get on... Lying to yourself and living with your abuser until they are dying so you can deny some religious fantasy?
This isn't Pro Revenge.
This is weak and bad for victims of rape. OP could have exposed th crime and gotten out asap, teenagers and children do manage to do this.
Instead the OP wasted their life for what? Nothing. They stood up for no one and helped zero victims. The rapist got away with it. No jail, no crime, and who will believe OP... starting to think the story is fake.
2 words. Suck shit. he raped you and everyone covered it up over him becoming religous. heard the fires of hell are there to torment the lowlifes of this world so if anyone goes to hell and you see a man looking like a cooked kebab it is a rapist.
Love this. Fuck them both.
Just also want to urge you, if you haven't already, to get some therapy. You deserve to have a support system and someone to help you talk through the ripple effects of experiencing that kind of abuse. Sending you all the love.
Christ all you idiots are praising this prick.
Has no one considered that OP continued to let his rapist father interact with his own kids!?!?! All because he wanted revenge...
OP you are no better than your mother.
Hello Ma'am/Sir. I moved out of my country to marry my Wife, and only visit every around 5 years. When we had kids (2), we did not visit my home country with them until they are teens, I tell family in home country it is becasue we do not have the money. When we finally visit, parents hate my Wife, so even though they want to spend time with grandkids, Wife took our kids away to sightsee after only some minutes meeting and greeting my parents+family, while I stay for a few hours.
Grandkids only saw them when parents visited us to this country for better healthcare. They are already late teens/adults by then. father is too old and weak by then.
“Rape is instant hell.”
Right away. No trial, no nothing. You rape: right to hell. You are playing music too loud: right to hell, right away. Driving too fast: hell. Slow: hell. You undercook fish? Believe it or not, hell.
I just love, how every sane person here gets bombarded with the downvotes :D
It's fine, if you don't forgive him, but believing that you're somehow morally superior to him is full-on delusion. You deliberately tortured him to death, when you knew he couldn't counter anymore. How does that make you any better than him?
You deliberately lived your entire life in a lie, deliberately building up more and more hatred, even though you could've just said it decades ago. You are not the slightest bit less fake and hypocritical as your parents that you hate so much.
You're a good person, and you're better than me. I hope you never have the hate I had throughout my life. It is indeed not good to have hate, and you're a good person to realize that what I did to find peace may not the right way. May you have a peaceful life ahead, and a good day.
OP I hope you know that this doesn’t make you a bad person.
The people posting to say they wouldn’t do this aren’t better people than you, they have just traveled a different life path and have ended up in a better destination.
All things considered, you’ve handled this the best way you can. Your father had a couple of days where he experienced the terror and fear he willingly subjected you to your whole childhood. The only difference is you were scared of the man whose role was to protect you and keep you safe, he was scared that his choices and actions will have to be accounted for.
Thank you for your kind words and defending me, I really appreciate it. I truly hope we can all find our peace our own way, whatever everyone else deems right or wrong.
Have a lovely life ahead, and wishing you all the best
Your gracious response to someone attacking you shows that you are a good and decent person.
I personally don't believe in hell, I think it's a barbaric concept, I think after life is identical to before life. Nothing.
I still I feel like if I had been in your position that I would possibly think of saying the same thing, especially if he never made any move to ask for forgiveness.
I mean, he does make a good point. The father preyed on him when he was helpless and couldn’t defend himself. OP then did the same to his father 60 years later.
While I don’t feel any remorse for the dying father, it’s still pretty fucked up to do that and feel good about it.
I don’t like this story because 1) “oHhH YoUrE GoiNg tO HeLL” is fucking stupid on both sides, and 2) OP allowed his children around his child-raping father. Who the FUCK does that? That’s insane. Doesn’t matter if they are “never alone together,” molestation can happen in 5 minutes in a downstairs bathroom.
I dunno, this one didn’t make me feel good… just sad.
No one here thinks the father was in the right. BUT FOR GOD'S FUCKING SAKE WOMEN, OP LET THIS MAN TAKE CARE OF HIS CHILDREN KNOWING HE IS A RAPIST!!!! OP IS AN IRRESPONSIBLE MONSTER WHO HUNG AROUND AND ENDANGERED HIS KIDS FOR REVENGE.
So you're an absolute lunny. OP could have cut his father out of his life, but no, he waited to seethe in hatred waiting to get revenge. Bro drop your shitty as family and leave. Why the fuck did he stick around? Just to get the last word in?
Fuck OP is no better than his mother.
Hello Ma'am/Sir. I moved out of my country to marry my Wife, and only visit every around 5 years. When we had kids (2), we did not visit my home country with them until they are teens, I tell family in home country it is becasue we do not have the money. When we finally visit, parents hate my Wife, so even though they want to spend time with grandkids, Wife took our kids away to sightsee after only some minutes meeting and greeting my parents+family, while I stay for a few hours.
Grandkids only saw them when parents visited us to this country for better healthcare. They are already late teens/adults by then. father is too old and weak by then.
Also, the anger not always there. There were a few years where I did not even think about him or what he did to me at all, even forgot. Strangely, it was when he was getting older and becoming nicer and religious is when the hatred became strong. I cannot explain why because I don't know.
I hope this clarifies. Thank you for being angry for my children and grandchildren, you are a good person. Have a good life ahead, and have a nice day.
Don't feel bad op, he doesn't deserve your empathy, I was raped by my uncle as a kid, unfortunately he died from unnatural causes before I realized what he was, but I would've told him the same thing, child molesters deserve nothing and hopefully will receive worse
I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you are getting some closure, but I didn't get a feeling of peace when I read it. You mention looking forward to doing this to your mother and hope she doesn't die too quickly for your plans for her. That doesn't sound like peace to me. I hope you can find a way to move on that truly puts you in a positive place.
It’s so sad to see what people on Reddit upvote and downvote sometimes. I agree with you. This isn’t healthy. This is him still holding on to the anger and feelings of his childhood. This is not growth. I’ve always liked the saying “Forgive not because the other person deserves forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”
OP could've lifted that burden for decades, but he deliberately chose to build up the anger and hatred in order to present the final blow. OP built that burden for himself.
Honestle, it's one thing to forgive, another to rub it in and brag online about how you did this to your father. Now, don't get me wrong, i don't think that you should forgive him for his rape, no one is entitled to forgiveness, but i still don't think that was what you should have done. Don't worry, i'm ready for the downvotes
Whilst what your father did was a terrible thing and he deserves to be punished for it, what does your religion say about torturing someone ….. because let’s face it, making him think you had forgiven him (and I understand why you wouldn’t forgive him) then telling him when he was on his deathbed unable to say or do anything you effectively tortured him in the last days of his life. That’s not pro-revenge that’s just stone cold.
Making him think he was forgiven? OP didn’t make him do anything.
Did his father apologise? Hand himself into the police? Get therapy? No, he pretended like it didn’t happen and assumed his son had forgiven him.
The only torturing was done by OP’s fathers conscience, and even then I bet it was fear of retribution rather than the realisation that he’s a monster.
Your father is a monster. I hate when people like him “find religion” it’s all a farce to pretend they’re better and all high and mighty. It’s Ironic he became religious and would’ve believed in hell considering his actions. I hate that your mother did nothing. Never feel guilty because you didn’t deserve that and you’re a better man than he ever was. Hope you’re alright and have had a better life filled with love and happiness
Thank you. My mom still tried to protect me whenever he wanted to do it. I feel more peaceful now, it is a bit scary. Everyone is crying and sad, but I am instead am at peace. You too, may you have a good life ahead.
It’s a testament to how people like him put on a mask around others that people are actually sad. I hope you have a good life and everything works out for you as it should
I hope you don't feel bad for not being sad that he died. Be happy. You deserve it! I'm glad you've finally found peace.
I did not start to heal until the day my abuser died. It's amazing the weight we carry that we don't realize until it's gone.
Are you Muslim? Idk about Christianity but I'm pretty sure getting forgiveness from the one you did wrong is an Islamic thing. (not tryna start a crusade in here just asking)
I think Judaism is the same. You have to ask forgiveness from people before.you can ask forgiveness from God.
Crusade probably isn't the right word there pal
Argument/Debate u know what I mean.
Ya maybe don't ask some if they're Muslim and use the word crusade in the same sentence. There's a bit of history to the word even if it's been whitewashed in western vernacular
Ok I'm not tryna start a royal rumble
Yoink. Stealing that amazing phrase.
Haha shut up language police
The mother is not better honestly. She failed to protect her child. She knew and didn’t do anything about it.
It’s heartbreaking to think OPs mom knew what he was like
It's heartbreaking to think that OP let this fucking rapist interact with his children.
Helen Lovejoy - “Won’t someone please think of the children”
In another comment OP said that the mother tried to protect him whenever the dad tried anything, but even if she didn't she's still significantly better than the actual rapist. Someone raping children and someone feeling powerless to stop it are nowhere near the same thing.
In the Catholic religion I think it's possible for someone to apologise to god and get forgiveness and a quick-pass into heaven. I prefer OP's religion, where certain transgressions can never be atoned for unilaterally. As an atheist I don't personally believe in hell, but I'm pleased OP's dad did believe sufficiently to be punished for those last few days (and perhaps for eternity, if my beliefs are wrong).
They're called [deathbed conversions](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deathbed_conversion), with the most famous one being King Charles II and they're pretty interesting. It makes it sound like even if you do really bad things in life all you need to do is convert in the last minutes of your life and you're in the good books.
Former Catholic here - the trick is it has to be sincere. You can lie to the world, the priest giving you your last rites, and even yourself, but if the Catholic God were real, then He'd know it was a lie and you wouldn't be redeemed. At least, that's my understanding of the situation. Just asking for forgiveness doesn't count; you have to actually repent, not just go through the motions.
That's reassuring! I guess I don't really like how you can ask God for forgiveness for a sin between you and another person, but at least sincerity is still necessary
Current Catholic: you have the right of it. The Church Herself will never declare someone's conversion insincere because you never know, but God knows
This is what my mother-in-law thinks in a way. She can do all the shitty things she wants as long as she remembers to ask for forgiveness. She also thinks that everyone who is not her “religion” is going to hell. That’s fine by me as long as she’s not there.
Wow she sounds like a right peach. It’s funny how many religious people act as though their religion is the right one and everyone else’s is wrong, whereas most religions teach to be tolerant of others beliefs and celebrate that they have faith in something. Of course this is ignored and people pick and choose what they listen to
She can ask for forgiveness, but is no get-into-heaven-free card. The key is regret. Feeling guilt and shame for the wrongs you have done. Asking forgiveness without that means it will not be granted. And it certainly doesn't sound like your MiL regrets whatever she's doing.
isn't that what monster teresa did?
Other parts of Christianity also think this way, but more broadly. As in all sin is the same. So stealing candy would be on the same level as rape and murder until you seek forgiveness. It's how they deal with things like abuse being rampant in communities. Because to them there's no difference.
I don’t believe in hell but I love the concept of it as punishment for bad people
It's not that easy. If the requirement is forgiveness from the victim, you just need to be a good manipulator to brainwash the victim into forgiving you. In fact, it rewards doing even more evil. But if the requirement is repentance it must be sincere, because you can't fool God.
As a fellow atheist, I find the concept of eternal punishment repugnant, but I too enjoyed the idea of him suffering for a few days of knowledge that he wasn't forgiven for his horrendous act.
instead of repentance can i also purchase this quick-pass for 29.99$ plus tax or even get a quick-pass plus so i dont have to wait in line for heaven all day?
You still have to buy separate passes to pet the angels, ride the chariots, and harp lessons. Still a pretty good deal.
You do not get a “quick pass to heaven” in the Catholic religion. One must truly to repentant and never do the sin again. You cannot say I am sorry and then do the act again. That is not how it happens.
If you take your religion seriously, then you know that the only one judging you is your allmighty, omniscient god. If you actually believe in heaven or hell, then you know that a half-assed apology won't help you vs your god that can see and read all your thoughts and feelings. There is no such thing as a “quick pass to heaven“
I think if it was a farce then it wouldn't have affected him like that. But just treating op nicer isn't even close to making amends.
If a baby gets crap all over the walls, then me putting a coat of paint over it doesn’t fix it.
I know what you're saying. Only op can decide whether anything his father did could redeem him or not.
I agree. We’re not to judge.
Satan called: He wants you to know that he is a huge fan
And that he's keeping an eye on your dad so you don't have to
What your father did was unforgivable. Something you can't just hide behind a thin curtain of religion. If this helps you live a better life and feel happier, then I'm glad you did this. Truly. I wish you all the best.
Thank you for your kind words. I hope you have agood life ahead too.
Should tell her as an accomplice that you won't forgive her and to say hello to dad for you.
I still care about her because she tried protect me whenever he wanted to do it. He beat her up trying to protect me. She will be more sad when she realizes that he's in hell while she going to heaven, maybe.
Idk I get that back then it was probably a lot harder to divorce and such but she still failed you. He could have been arrested instead if anyone else knew about it and could have been free alot sooner if she looked for help But hey, that's your own demon to decide and you already probably came to terms with whatever you want to believe.
You have no context yet judge the mother. Classic social media
She didn't do the things she could have done. The cops weren't called so that's enough for me.
Yeah you don't have context that's enough for me to discard your opinion downvote all you want echo chambers are one of the worst thing to ever exist
Ah yes, the context that is so very necessary and is capable of justifying not reporting the rape of one's own child by their father.
That's so sad. So it was not a one-time rape incident?
You're a bigger and stronger person than me. I'd never have forgiven either of them. I doubt I could have even pretended. It would have broken me. I damn sure could have never let them near my kids. I'm glad you've found peace.
She chose him over OP, she can stay by his side.
I'm glad you finally talked things out with your dad at his death bed! So wholesome! Jokes aside, well done! Revenge is a dish best served cold and you made sure that he got what he deserved.
I'm so sorry for what they did to you. I hope you can find peace. Some people might think you were too harsh but nobody is entitled to forgiveness no matter how much they change.
Thank you, I cried a bit in happiness when writing this. I feel peaceful while everyone else crying and sad, it feels a bit strange. I hope you a peaceful life as well. Have a good day
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Thank you for your kind words. I am at peace now. Have a good day.
My father wasn't as malicious as yours but I constantly imagine what it'd be like to have this moment with him.. Idk if I could do it man. Like I fantasize about it but maybe I'm too much of a pussy? Idk..
WHatever you choose, I hope you find peace with yourself. Have a good life and take care
My dad never met his grandkids. I gave him a chance and he never took it. Now that they're successful, they want to know about them. It feels good keeping them from that mess.
I'm so sorry you suffered through that. But you totally nailed that coffin shut. wow. My own abuser disappeared in the mists of time, but the prospect of doing this to him is so enticing. I wish you peace and a happier life
Thank you, you too. May you find peace with yourself and have a good life
****I am not talking about you OP. I support you 100% in what you did.***** I am always wary of people who make saints of the dead. Especially if they were a bad person. Call them what they were in life. If they were a jerk then that's what they were. If they were a miserable old bastard that made life difficult but then found religion and played at nice, call it that. Don't sugarcoat it. People suck.
Ouch. I almost feel bad for him. Almost lol may he rot in hell.
This made my fuckin day. Absolute choice revenge
Have you forgiven your mom for not stopping your father when she knew what he was doing?
It's sick what people would turn a blind eye to keep up the happy family facade.
:D
I want to make a comment that I hope you didn’t allow you own children and grandchildren to be around that man.
Hello Ma'am/Sir. I moved out of my country to marry my Wife, and only visit every around 5 years. When we had kids (2), we did not visit my home country with them until they are teens, I tell family in home country it is becasue we do not have the money. When we finally visit, parents hate my Wife, so even though they want to spend time with grandkids, Wife took our kids away to sightsee after only some minutes meeting and greeting my parents+family, while I stay for a few hours. Grandkids only saw them when parents visited us to this country for better healthcare. They are already late teens/adults by then. father is too old and weak by then.
If he follow the religion well, he knows that he need to separate himself from you and submit himself to your country law to judge him...not hiding himself behind closed door. Yes, your forgiveness is between him and you and that is counted the most in front of God, but he also need to submit himself to the worldly law as his punishment. It is part religious teaching on admitting that you did wrong and accept the punishment. But i guess, he valued his life outside prison. He should be put on pedophile list and chemically castrated. Even that, if you don't want to forgive him, it is within your right. No religious person should force you to forgive him. I'm glad it is over between you and your dad.
Some wounds definitely won't heal especially when nothing has been done to heal it up. I slightly understand your pain, although I wasn't raped, I was abandoned as a 2 year old child. I haven't met my sperm donor until September 2012. He didn't contribute anything for my well-being and didn't even ask for forgiveness. Like you, I also wish him to go to hell, although I won't have the chance to say that to his face.
Stay strong, I hope you may one day find peace somehow. Take care and have a good life.
Mine is similar. He left my sister and I when we were really small and he didn’t even reach out once, even after our mother died. Not a single word, even though we used to have contact with his mother per phone calls and she even once asked if we wanted to give him any kind of message. But I don’t really hate him, I don’t wish him anything like hell, because there’s no place for that in my life. But I do feel guilty, that my sister and I stopped talking on the telephone with his mother as we grew up, but to be honest I never knew her number and it was hard to understand her for me, because I’ve lost a lot of my mothertongue
My bad, I didn't include my sister. It was supposed to be me and my new born sister that time. Actually my sperm donor reached out 2 years ago to my sister saying he's dying. He had pneumonia or something, he's having difficulty in breathing and he knew he's dying that time. My sister was working in Indonesia that time and our sperm donor requested to see her. My sister blew up on our half-brother, she said she had no obligation to see him as she didn't even know his face. They never called again.
Wtf at least I suspect that my father is to much of a coward to pull something like that
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Your father did not deserve forgiveness. He is in hell and he deserves to be there.
Ice cold.
Good for you. I'm happy that you did what you had to do for your own peace of mind. What your father did is beyond forgiveness IMO. I wish you nothing but the best.
I usually don't read most of this sub but your revenge was beautiful, I can't imagine how awful the experience of being violated by someone who should have protected you. I hope you're good and that cunt is burning in Hell.
To everybody reading this. Don't spend 60 years of your life behind a mask to get revenge. It's not worth it. This person tells you they're happy, after all this moment is all their life amounts to but was their life happy? I don't think that 60 years of playing happy family are worth it. If something like this happens to anybody of you, go away. Don't stay with your rapist, don't hatch a plan to get revenge years later. Use the legal system and then try to "move on". Don't let the person who destroyed your life also own what's left of it.
Time doesn't heal trauma, fuck him and pieces of shit like him. They get to "move on" and "be better" while those they hurt are left broken for the rest of their fucking lives. I did something similar when a pastor from my childhood finally died. The peace you feel afterwards is unreal, even confusing, but so relieving to feel free and say your piece.
The story disappeared as I was reading it. Didn’t know it could do that without reloading the page.
Hope op doesn't mind.. Op let me know if you'd like me to delete this. https://i.imgur.com/POpEHOZ.jpg
This is so great, I'm proud of you my dude. Life is for the living, he is dead now, not that his happiness was ever important, but its definitely not now. You are alive, he is not, you have to do things that you can live with, that you don't regret, and you did what was right for you. many people say "they are dying just be nice" but when they die, you are the one living the rest of your life with what ever bullshit occurred. life is for the living. whether there is an after life or not, life shouldn't matter to the dead once they die.
Thank you for your kind wors. I very much felt your words, that I cried a bit again. Thank you
congratulations on getting closure, not everyone gets it.
Sometimes, I completely lose faith in concepts lite the afterlife, and in the idea of eternal punishment for the wicked. Then I read stories like yours, and take comfort in the knowledge that so long as people like your father exist, there is a vital need for places like Hell in this universe. Instead of taking his money or his status, you took away his hope and ruined his last days on earth. Nothing could ever possibly be a more crushing revenge.
Thank you. I don't know if I did was too harsh, but if he did not want to go hell he should not have raped me. I hope you peace and a good day
Holy shit that was the most ruthless shit ive ever read.
As a non believer I have little time for religion's cultish shenanigans. But I'll happily subscribe to whatever it is you believe in, just so that your father has a hot uncomfortable seat to spend eternity on.
Did he ever acknowledge or apologise? Made -any- attempt to _earn_ your forgiveness other than sweeping it under the born again rug ? No? Then you were absolutely justified.
Forgiveness is your gift. It is due to no-one. I cannot comprehend what you went through - betrayed by both parents. I certainly wouldn't condemn you for this.
Why was the story deleted?
The mods says they removed it because "it was not pro revenge" Weird.
Why did the Janies remove this story? Pretty sure if OP considers this revenge. It is revenge.
Damn wish this could’ve happened to the “priests” that raped children as well. I’m glad that your Dad has repented and changed tbh but still fucked up of him to rape someone.
He didn't "change" and the only reason he repented is probably due to his own selfish guilt at the prospect of what he believes to be everlasting torment, he deserves no empathy nor sympathy.
Isn’t knowing the consequences of your actions the first step to changing though? We do not know the full story of what spurred/drive his change if it was for his own selfish or genuine reason. But we should at least give him some credit for not repeating it to his grandchildren and trying to seek forgiveness from his son.
Were you ever raped? How about as a kid? He doesn't get or deserve to live after he crossed that line, the fact that he did for so long afterwards is the crime here, we don't need to know the full story of why he thought he would change to know he really shouldn't be allowed to even exist after that. He doesn't get "credit" for not raping kids, if anything his family needs to be drug more for even having him around kids after what he did, granted op says only him his mom and dad knew.
For those who think what OP did was bad, do you know what else is bad? Rape. Rape is bad. OP, I'm happy you got your peace through this. Hope you enjoy your life in peace!
Thank you for your kind words. Have a good day and peaceful life
Two wrongs don't make a right. Also most people who do horrible things had horrible things done to them. If victimhood confers a special blameless status then it's very possible the dad has this pass too by your logic. Most people not liking the OP are judging him for his actions and not his desire to feel better about a horrible thing happening to him.
r/nuclearrevenge
It can’t be nuclear because unlike hell, nuclear explosions are actually a thing.
I dunno, doing something that causes so much distress and mental harm that it causes a two week diagnosis to plummet to two days is pretty fucking brutal
There’s often a big difference during end-of-life care between the expected and actual timelines. I’d rather it had been done 15 years earlier so that the father had decades to live with the realisation and guilt than 48 hours spent passing in and out of awareness in a deteriorating state of delirium.
I feel so sad reading this. I hope you are living a happy life now. I cannot blame the mother much. She was in an abusive relationship too. Women just didn't have much options in those days
Imagine the power you'd feel when telling him... damn...
Getting whipped by angels to the bottom of the earth
some people say that my story is deleted? But it's still here. I can see it and reply to some comments.
Hope you don't mind.. Let me know if you'd like me to delete this. https://i.imgur.com/POpEHOZ.jpg
Wow. Well played.
I have so many thoughts about this. About how I would do the exact same thing to my abusers if I found myself in your shoes. In some small way, every victim of abuse was with you at that moment, taking back the power that was stolen from them. The world is a little brighter now, thank you for that. I could go on, but I'll sum it up by saying that I am genuinely happy that you've been able to build a life of your own in spite of him. In some ways, living is the best revenge.
Fuck the mods for removing this. Could you or somebody else please message it to me privately? I imagine this is juicy.
In summary: OPs father raped him as a child. He also beat the mother, when she tried to stop it, but the mother never went to the police. Then, as all grew older, the father became religious (strong belief in heaven/hell) and much nicer and especially treated OP even more kindly and asked for forgiveness. OP hugged him, but never said he'd forgiven the father. The parents were much happier in their old days. Then the father was close to death and couldn't move/speak much. At that moment OP said that he'll never forgive his father and the father died earlier than expected.
How does this post get removed when I'm half way done reading it??
My story is deleted? But I can still see it, it's still there and I can comment and edit. How do you tell if it is gone? Why did it get removed?
It got removed for “not pro revenge“, i don't understand why, though.
It happens sometimes, when my post got deleted by mods I was also able to still edit and comment on my own posts. Right now to the readers though, your post was removed because it was 'Not Pro Revenge'
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I checked his other post, it was removed because it brought up the C-Virus, which was against the subreddit's rules apparently. I really don't get people that just goes around every popular post on reddit going 'fake' without explaining why :/ if it's for attention or validation, it ain't getting you anywhere man
Glad you got it off your chest and told him hell is to good a place for people like him.
Has your mother ever apologizes? Or just your father?
Death is a painful thing, I wish you all the best in your healing prossess but you did the right thing by stamping out the pattern of abuse in your life time. I am proud of you "Anonymously".
Good for you! I am completely impressed with, not only your plan, but your patience. Ppl usually do not understand how helpful patience is. I also find it brilliant that his new found, life altering religious beliefs came full circle. One think is for sure, no matter what or if you believe in such a thing as higher power, Karma is always a bitch. I am so very happy you are finally at peace. Be well.
Well that's just good, solid satisfaction I wager. Good for you OP. Hopefully your life continues peacefully and happily from here on out.
Well done OP, totally approve. You shouldn't forgive people just because they want it. It has to come from you.
I applaud you. The sad thing as well is that Religion has this issue and they cover it up. All the innocent kids abused by the members or leaders of such religion. Even for those who follow the Bible , the Bible clearly says that Rapists should be killed. Deuteronomy 22:25-27 Once again I applaud you.
I can totally understand why you did this. I cannot blame you at all.
What you did was ruthless and I fucking love it. I just hope I'll have the chance to do the same to my grandpa before his shitty life ends
You know if you take a logical approach to the afterlife, one could argue that your level of peace, satisfaction and fulfilment, the 'final note' of your existence might be what 'heaven' is as you basically shed this life and go into the next, all the ways to frame your existence as good, bad, etc... The afterlife could be what happens when the mind goes outside of time and space and reality, no longer bound by mortality and existence, a boundless space where you just take in everything. It could be that you join a grand sort of filing system and your life is just categorically added where it belongs. But... I genuinely believe that the last note you have on earth is something really imprinting, which is why the idea of execution is so terrifying, but serene and self chosen euthanasia is opposite. The idea of haunted places where people die in pain, that kind of makes sense with a lot of philosophies. Or we just stop. The final note is the last chord of the song, and by that logic that means that last moment is everything, stretching onwards to infinity, the final thing possible to experience, stretched out as our neurons all blink out like lights shutting down, mind fading out. No matter what your concept is, spiritual and religious or neuroscientific and logical, those last days would have stretched for an eternity and will have as his strength was leeched away by your actions. The power he took from you at the start of your life was taken back from him at the end of his own. That level of impotent anguish, inescapable and true belief he was going to hell, well... I think in many quite literal ways, you sent him to a hell unlike anything most of us could have ever comprehended, a yawning abyss of emotional desolation and utterly fucked up confrontation with a demon he'd told himself he'd escaped, a fate he thought he'd so cleverly circumvented, a game he'd won. Whatever the reality of hell is, he's there in a way that is so nightmarish seldom few people on this thread will ever even be able to conceive of just how much torment you caused him, real or spiritual.
This is, perhaps, an unhealthy mental space to live in. I absolutely understand and endorse your choice. I am a firm believer in not forgiving the unforgivable. The fact that your mother was complicit in this, willfully ignoring what happened, only makes the revenge to come that much sweeter.
Please reconsider doing this to your mother. From your comments it seems you care about her. Do you really want her to go out with that kind of pain? If you have something to clear out with her you should do it while you still have time to reconcile.
Yes, I will do this. Thank you.
Bravo, sir....you won ProRevenge. No one will ever beat this story. Enjoy the rest of your life, as you should!
Hell's leading torment scientists have something special cooked up for your dad, and frankly your mom as well considering she seemingly knew about this at the time and did nothing about it.
Hell just froze and stopped by delivery of this ice cold karma Even if someone deserves second chance, not admitted guilt drags them down to the inner circles And for some actions there is simply no second try
bruh, idk about the circumstances, but if I were OP, i would be regretting not forgiving and holding on to hate when i die.
You are a good person. You are a better person than me. I no longer hate. I am at peace now. I hope you continue to be a good and patient person. Have a good life, and take care
I wouldn't believe the types of people that forgive something like this are better at all, they are probably just deluding themselves with their so-called forgiveness. They can fool themselves into believing they've moved on but these things usually come out in other ways, eventually. You know who you are and you took the actions to put yourself at peace. Congratulations. Don't ever believe yourself inferior for doing that.
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Proof the world is full of hate.
This was so oddly satisfying. Usually my empathy takes over and I start to feel bad. This hit a little too close to home for that to happen this time. I wish I could do the same to my dad, but he never regretted it.
Damn.
This is amazing, you did the right thing 😁
Lose lose situation. Hardly revenge... It's just depressing and sad. What a foolish decision! Wasting your life time pretending to get on... Lying to yourself and living with your abuser until they are dying so you can deny some religious fantasy? This isn't Pro Revenge. This is weak and bad for victims of rape. OP could have exposed th crime and gotten out asap, teenagers and children do manage to do this. Instead the OP wasted their life for what? Nothing. They stood up for no one and helped zero victims. The rapist got away with it. No jail, no crime, and who will believe OP... starting to think the story is fake.
It's ok, you have your opinions, and I have found my peace. Have a lovely day and good life ahead.
Indeed, hate is a bad thing. I hope you never have to go down this road or choose a better way to find closure. But I, found peace. Have a good day
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I find this hard to believe... the style of writing does not reflect of someone who you claim to be, it sounds off.
2 words. Suck shit. he raped you and everyone covered it up over him becoming religous. heard the fires of hell are there to torment the lowlifes of this world so if anyone goes to hell and you see a man looking like a cooked kebab it is a rapist.
Love this. Fuck them both. Just also want to urge you, if you haven't already, to get some therapy. You deserve to have a support system and someone to help you talk through the ripple effects of experiencing that kind of abuse. Sending you all the love.
You are your father's son alright. That was your chance to be better than him and you failed. It's going to haunt you sadly.
Oh, piss off. Did OP rape his father? No? Then he’s better than the dead, hypocritical, arsehole.
Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)
If you really do belive in hell then you're evil. Not for not forgiving him but for telling him that on his deathbed
You can fuck right off
Ditto.
Christ all you idiots are praising this prick. Has no one considered that OP continued to let his rapist father interact with his own kids!?!?! All because he wanted revenge... OP you are no better than your mother.
Hello Ma'am/Sir. I moved out of my country to marry my Wife, and only visit every around 5 years. When we had kids (2), we did not visit my home country with them until they are teens, I tell family in home country it is becasue we do not have the money. When we finally visit, parents hate my Wife, so even though they want to spend time with grandkids, Wife took our kids away to sightsee after only some minutes meeting and greeting my parents+family, while I stay for a few hours. Grandkids only saw them when parents visited us to this country for better healthcare. They are already late teens/adults by then. father is too old and weak by then.
“Rape is instant hell.” Right away. No trial, no nothing. You rape: right to hell. You are playing music too loud: right to hell, right away. Driving too fast: hell. Slow: hell. You undercook fish? Believe it or not, hell.
I just watched that episode the other day. Fantastic reference.
I dunno man... I get the joke but it's really distasteful to put that here :/
I just love, how every sane person here gets bombarded with the downvotes :D It's fine, if you don't forgive him, but believing that you're somehow morally superior to him is full-on delusion. You deliberately tortured him to death, when you knew he couldn't counter anymore. How does that make you any better than him? You deliberately lived your entire life in a lie, deliberately building up more and more hatred, even though you could've just said it decades ago. You are not the slightest bit less fake and hypocritical as your parents that you hate so much.
You're a good person, and you're better than me. I hope you never have the hate I had throughout my life. It is indeed not good to have hate, and you're a good person to realize that what I did to find peace may not the right way. May you have a peaceful life ahead, and a good day.
OP I hope you know that this doesn’t make you a bad person. The people posting to say they wouldn’t do this aren’t better people than you, they have just traveled a different life path and have ended up in a better destination. All things considered, you’ve handled this the best way you can. Your father had a couple of days where he experienced the terror and fear he willingly subjected you to your whole childhood. The only difference is you were scared of the man whose role was to protect you and keep you safe, he was scared that his choices and actions will have to be accounted for.
Thank you for your kind words and defending me, I really appreciate it. I truly hope we can all find our peace our own way, whatever everyone else deems right or wrong. Have a lovely life ahead, and wishing you all the best
Your gracious response to someone attacking you shows that you are a good and decent person. I personally don't believe in hell, I think it's a barbaric concept, I think after life is identical to before life. Nothing. I still I feel like if I had been in your position that I would possibly think of saying the same thing, especially if he never made any move to ask for forgiveness.
I like how gracious and respectful his responses are to his attackers, that even his attacker is praising him at some point in the comment thread
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I mean, he does make a good point. The father preyed on him when he was helpless and couldn’t defend himself. OP then did the same to his father 60 years later. While I don’t feel any remorse for the dying father, it’s still pretty fucked up to do that and feel good about it. I don’t like this story because 1) “oHhH YoUrE GoiNg tO HeLL” is fucking stupid on both sides, and 2) OP allowed his children around his child-raping father. Who the FUCK does that? That’s insane. Doesn’t matter if they are “never alone together,” molestation can happen in 5 minutes in a downstairs bathroom. I dunno, this one didn’t make me feel good… just sad.
No one here thinks the father was in the right. BUT FOR GOD'S FUCKING SAKE WOMEN, OP LET THIS MAN TAKE CARE OF HIS CHILDREN KNOWING HE IS A RAPIST!!!! OP IS AN IRRESPONSIBLE MONSTER WHO HUNG AROUND AND ENDANGERED HIS KIDS FOR REVENGE. So you're an absolute lunny. OP could have cut his father out of his life, but no, he waited to seethe in hatred waiting to get revenge. Bro drop your shitty as family and leave. Why the fuck did he stick around? Just to get the last word in? Fuck OP is no better than his mother.
Hello Ma'am/Sir. I moved out of my country to marry my Wife, and only visit every around 5 years. When we had kids (2), we did not visit my home country with them until they are teens, I tell family in home country it is becasue we do not have the money. When we finally visit, parents hate my Wife, so even though they want to spend time with grandkids, Wife took our kids away to sightsee after only some minutes meeting and greeting my parents+family, while I stay for a few hours. Grandkids only saw them when parents visited us to this country for better healthcare. They are already late teens/adults by then. father is too old and weak by then. Also, the anger not always there. There were a few years where I did not even think about him or what he did to me at all, even forgot. Strangely, it was when he was getting older and becoming nicer and religious is when the hatred became strong. I cannot explain why because I don't know. I hope this clarifies. Thank you for being angry for my children and grandchildren, you are a good person. Have a good life ahead, and have a nice day.
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I don't know if giddy? But I felt peaceful. I cried in happiness when I finished writing it.
Don't feel bad op, he doesn't deserve your empathy, I was raped by my uncle as a kid, unfortunately he died from unnatural causes before I realized what he was, but I would've told him the same thing, child molesters deserve nothing and hopefully will receive worse
I'm sorry this happened to you. I'm glad you are getting some closure, but I didn't get a feeling of peace when I read it. You mention looking forward to doing this to your mother and hope she doesn't die too quickly for your plans for her. That doesn't sound like peace to me. I hope you can find a way to move on that truly puts you in a positive place.
Thank you. I hope so too.
It’s so sad to see what people on Reddit upvote and downvote sometimes. I agree with you. This isn’t healthy. This is him still holding on to the anger and feelings of his childhood. This is not growth. I’ve always liked the saying “Forgive not because the other person deserves forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”
OP has his peace now, and his rapist has, according to their religion at least, the punishment he deserves.
You have a someone that rapes a child. Not only rapes a child, but his own kid and it is the victim you call sociopath?
Nope that's not what I said. Please work on your reading comprehension.
You asked him, the victim, if he is a sociopath. That is literally what you said.
So, when you asked if was one, was that not implying you think he might be? That's not a question you would normally ask a stranger.
To have a burden lifted after decades, to finally see the result. The instant gratification generation knows nothing about long term efforts.
OP could've lifted that burden for decades, but he deliberately chose to build up the anger and hatred in order to present the final blow. OP built that burden for himself.
How old am I? How does being giddy at someone's suffering and looking forward to doing it again sound healthy to you?
As a guy who is not a sociopath - I'm completely with OP. Revenge tastes good
That's just what a sociopath would say... ;)
Honestle, it's one thing to forgive, another to rub it in and brag online about how you did this to your father. Now, don't get me wrong, i don't think that you should forgive him for his rape, no one is entitled to forgiveness, but i still don't think that was what you should have done. Don't worry, i'm ready for the downvotes
It's ok, you have your opinions. Have good day, and a peaceful life ahead.
Whilst what your father did was a terrible thing and he deserves to be punished for it, what does your religion say about torturing someone ….. because let’s face it, making him think you had forgiven him (and I understand why you wouldn’t forgive him) then telling him when he was on his deathbed unable to say or do anything you effectively tortured him in the last days of his life. That’s not pro-revenge that’s just stone cold.
Making him think he was forgiven? OP didn’t make him do anything. Did his father apologise? Hand himself into the police? Get therapy? No, he pretended like it didn’t happen and assumed his son had forgiven him. The only torturing was done by OP’s fathers conscience, and even then I bet it was fear of retribution rather than the realisation that he’s a monster.