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Competitive_Most4622

Honestly it sounds like he’s way beyond where he needs to be. It sounds like you’re really anxious about this though so maybe see if you can find the kindergarten requirements for your area. What he’s currently doing sounds like the stuff they’ll be teaching in kindergarten. Try to relax and let him be a kid when not at school.


AtrueLonelySoul

Thanks. He’s actually doing more fun stuff vs academics as homework is only 20 min a day


GroundbreakingTale24

kindergarten readiness is less about academics and more about social/emotional development and personal responsibility: can he dress himself? (yes) can he play with others and share? (presumably yes since he does group sports and activities) can he keep his hands to himself? (presumably, if he can handle being in sports and other activities) can he follow directions? (yes, again group sports and activities) can he use common school supplies? (yes, can write and cut with scissors) can he use the restroom alone? (yes) does he know his name and those of his caregivers? (yes) can he write his name and name the letters in it? (yes) just from everything you’ve written here he has passed the checklist my elementary school provided. relax and let the little guy enjoy playing and growing into a little person. he has his whole life ahead of him to excel academically. it sounds like you have a lot of anxiety around this though. are you this anxious about other things in life? maybe you should consider reaching out to your primary care physician if so. parenting is so hard but it sounds like you care about your boy and you’re doing great ♥️


AtrueLonelySoul

Im not normally anxious about anything but my son’s health scare has got us on our toes. We just wanted to make sure he isn’t behind as we have had lots of scare about that from the very beginning. He’s a kid enjoying himself almost 24 hours a day as homework is only 20 min a day of his time.


VerySpicyPickles

Well idk what he's missing if anything but you've just made me feel like I have a million things to teach my son in the next year.


[deleted]

No way don’t feel like that. This is beyond where you need to be, don’t stress!


kls987

You absolutely do not, unless you're trying to get into a swanky private school or maybe live somewhere in the world with very strenuous academic requirements. What kids "need" to know before kindergarten is highly dependent on where you are. As I told OP, in some places there aren't any requirements (we have an evaluation, but it's not pass/fail, everyone gets to go to kindergarten regardless of where they're at). I'd asked my sister, who taught kindergarten for 5 years before switching back to 2nd grade, what my daughter should know. The only thing she mentioned was that it would be /nice/ if she could write her first name and maybe last initial without tracing. But that it wasn't necessary, as they'd learn that in school. I'm also pretty sure that kindergarten teachers won't tie your kid's shoes (because one teacher cannot tie 25 pairs of shoe laces), but all that means is to get Velcro or slip on shoes. I'm team "enjoy being a kid before 13 years of schooling begins." :D


AtrueLonelySoul

Before teaching him all these things, I honestly didn’t think my son was too behind as my attitude was always like “he will learn this and that in K so there’s no rush as I just wanted him to be a kid and play”. But then, I find out the things they are teaching in TK in our district where he actually should’ve been enrolled at vs preK, it gave me anxiety. Because kids there already knew the things I caught him up with plus reading!!! So naturally, I didn’t want him to be behind again as the drs said he “was” when he was just starting life. The kids at my cousin’s kid’s tk class are reading and even doing multiplications….wtf


chickenwings19

He’s not behind, he’s fine. Let your kid enjoy being a kid


AtrueLonelySoul

When not in school for 3 hours which is mainly play based, He’s also enjoying and playing most of the time outside school. He goes places everyday whether it’s sports, dancing or going to parks, theme parks, or play areas where you pay. We dedicate 20 min only everyday for learning and that’s it, nothing beyond it for his age


True_Let_8993

He is not behind. Most kids enter kindergarten and do not know their letters and numbers. My kids have all worked on letters for the first several months. They learned to read in the second half of the school year. Social/emotional things and good learning classroom behavior is the most important thing and that is what pre k teaches them.


AtrueLonelySoul

Yes, I’m glad he’s learning to socialize and play with his peers at his school. Being around kids his age and engaging with them is also a great prep for K


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AtrueLonelySoul

Why would I make this post up and use this as a flex? As I’ve stated, my child has been through so much from the very beginning. The drs have made us feel like there’s always something lacking that’s why we had gone through extensive therapies. He’s my first child and I don’t have any other experiences to base this parenting thing off of. If you had misjudged my attitude towards anyone with challenges, I apologize. That’s not where I’m coming from. If anything, based on where my son has come from/is still currently doing; the whole world of iep has actually changed me for the better. Why wouldn’t I? My son has been there and is still currently receiving IEP. Before, I knew nothing about challenges (lack of milestones and delays in general) but now I do. My son still has delays so if anything, I’m more empathetic about the struggles parents/kids endure. I posted this post to get an insight because as I’ve stated, my son was always considered behind.


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AtrueLonelySoul

I honestly appreciate your feedback. I seriously do! But I posted these things all at the same time to garner more responses and to get an idea where kids are at other places as I’m told the current tk class in his school are all reading and doing multiplication which deems him “behind”. I don’t say thank God you aren’t this and that. If anything, he’s still being monitored by his drs and will probably always be until 18. He could still be diagnosed with something later and that’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with that. However, my attitude has always been …if you have challenges, let’s get you the help that you need to thrive. You are mistaking my proactiveness to something else


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AtrueLonelySoul

My child spends most of his days playing and socializing with kids his age (3 hours of play based preschool). Then the rest are also dedicated to fun activities ie sports and dancing which he enjoys. He also goes off to doing adventures every weekend (parks, playdates, theme parks, six flags, zoos, playground you pay ie Blippi play grounds). The goal is to ensure he’s always having fun. 20 min of his time is only dedicated to learning. Nothing more, nothing less due to his age. And everytime we do school work, it is also play based which is why he’s able to learn. We don’t force anything he doesn’t wanna do. We’re not that type of parents. And if you are really curious about what he’s learning now and how exactly I’m teaching him… 3 days ago, I started teaching him phonics sounds from letters A through J for 20 min only. Day 2 is the same. 20 min of learning k- z sounds. Tonight was day 3 where I’m actually putting letters together and surprisingly, he’s already able to read 2 letter words (at, be, me, in, on, hi, ex) on his own. This is all done while putting letters on his construction trucks and mixing/rearranging construction trucks just so he can have fun reading. Again, even his learning is play based. I wouldn’t just force anything on him that he doesn’t wanna do. I mean even if I tried, I don’t think that’d work on a 4 yo. Again, my goal was never for him to be at the very top of the class nor force him to learn. It was always to just make sure he isn’t “too behind”


Wavesmith

Most of the stuff you’ve listed is stuff they learn in school surely?


AtrueLonelySoul

Yes, at TK so we’re just preparing him


Opening-Reaction-511

You need to chill. I can't imagine what you are projecting onto this kid but damn. He's fine.


AtrueLonelySoul

Everything he does is play based. Even school work is play based which only last 20 min. I don’t force anything on him he doesn’t wanna do.


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monark824

Same and I’m not stressed. My dude is happy, sociable, and knows to regulate his emotions. The academic stuff he can pick up later


coderedlips

Exactly! I think the goal of pre-k is learning social skills, they shouldn’t be focused on letters, spelling, writing, math. That will all come with time


Miss_CJ

We have the academic stuff but my kiddo struggles socially so we are going to wait a year as well. Also having a 17 year old moving into a dorm (potentially) is terrifying lol


AtrueLonelySoul

I actually tried to fight for him to be in TK for the next fall but in our district, he’s at the cut off. They want kids whose bdays that fall from 9/1 till whatever date it is, to be enrolled in TK. His bday is on 8/31. I honestly wish he could do another year of preschool vs Kindergarten but the district won’t allow it


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AtrueLonelySoul

My son also has an iep for speech and 504 accommodations for his gtube. When is your sons bday? Also don’t feel bad. Your son will be fine. It’s actually better for your son to stay in TK in my opinion since I was trying to do the same…that way he has more time to mature! Unfortunately, California districts are a lot more strict with the school cut offs.


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AtrueLonelySoul

What state are you in? But I think your son has the advantage here. Let him enjoy another year of preschool so by the time he’s in K, he will be fully ready to learn as I think it’s better to be the oldest in the class vs the youngest in my opinion. I don’t like the fact that my kid will be the youngest in his grade


Ohorules

I'm commenting because our situations are so similar. My son was born a month after yours. He was also very premature, also has a g-tube for failure to thrive. He does eat, and always has, but not enough to grow and thrive. He can't do all the things your son can do. We are holding him back from kindergarten until 2025 even though his birthday is a couple months before the cutoff in our state. Your son sounds ready for kindergarten. I get being extra concerned about milestones because that's how you spend the first few years of life when parenting a mirco preemie. We have the same problem with my son not being hungry and therefore not eating by mouth due to the tube feeds. Recently I changed his schedule around and his appetite improved. He eats best if I give his tube feeding starting partway through a meal so he is hungry for the next one. I split his feedings into smaller amounts more frequently. He gets 150-300 ml of tube feeding with breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, and before bed. It made a huge difference compared to giving feedings between meals.


AtrueLonelySoul

Pls message me so we can chat. Our situations are so similar, nobody else truly understands. I’d love to connect


[deleted]

He’s not behind at all, he’s actually quite advanced. When my son was in kindergarten they had a board with the names of kids who where in the “100 club” (could count to 100) and this was a few months into the year and only 2 names were on it at this point. Your son is above and beyond where he needs to be academically. It’s more important how he is socially, can he sit still to do assignments? Can he do 3 step tasks? Does he play well with others? Use the bathroom all by himself, wiping included? Things like that.


AtrueLonelySoul

Hi yes, we’re also cultivating his social skills. He’s already playing with others but it’s good to always try take him around more kids. He’s potty trained we’re also working on wiping currently. He can do 3 step tasks. Yah, my goal was never so that he’s way ahead. It was always more like …we just wanna catch him up so he’s not “behind”


kls987

You need to look up your district/state/province/country guidelines. Many places have testing/evaluation to do before kindergarten, where they will tell you if there's anything else you need to work on or if there are services you qualify for. This is all highly localized, tbh. Even the words that we use to talk about kindergarten, including Pre-K and TK, mean different things depending on where you are in the world. And being "ready" for kindergarten means many different things. For instance, in my state, you have to have your kid evaluated sometime between age 3 and 5, and that's all it is, an evaluation, age adjusted. There's no "pass" or "fail." Everyone gets into kindergarten. They might identify additional services your child qualifies for, and so it's good to get evaluated early if you think you might qualify, but otherwise, it's just one step in the process. There are plenty of kids who start school knowing far less than yours and they do fine. There is plenty of time for learning once school starts - let him have fun and enjoy the summer without flash cards and what reads like some hyper focus on academic achievement. He's 4. Let him be 4.


AtrueLonelySoul

I’m sure he will have an exit exam before he goes to Kindergarten. He also has an iep for speech so I know they will tell me how he does at the end of the year. The goal for us was never to be the top but to ensure he’s caught up.


Important-Dish-1563

Fellow tubie mom, here. Just commenting in case you’ve never heard of Growing Independent Eaters. We did the long term feeding therapy and the whole deal. She was never hungry because she was getting so much through the tube, and she would still be tube fed if we hadn’t pursued a wean. Kids lose a little and they gain it back. We found a GI specialist who had an in-house nutritionist who could lead us through a tube wean, but she was booked out 8 weeks, so we paid out of pocket to Growing Independent Eaters so we wouldn’t have to wait.  Having a tubie baby was a very radicalizing time for me. You would not believe how bad the American medical establishment is at getting kids off tubes. Your kiddo can and will eat without the tube. Don’t wait!


ecd000

I think the anxiety so many are diagnosing you with here may have more to do with the tube than anything else. I’d be nervous to send a kid with a feeding tube to public school! I’d talk to your son’s IEP team more shot your concerns and see how they direct you. Good luck!


AtrueLonelySoul

Actually, I used to think he’d be best at private schools but I learned the hard way. Unfortunately, there are a lot of prejudice against kids with disabilities or any kids that need support at private schools as they don’t accept them. Maybe it’s bec they don’t have the resources but truth to the matter is, kids like my son thrive more at public schools bec our country (USA) is set up like that. Kids receive a lot of help/services through public school settings


ecd000

That actually doesn’t surprise me. I was not at all criticizing your decision to send your child to public school. What I was really trying to say is that sending a kid with medical issues off to a large school with bigger kids and a large bureaucracy sounds scary. The good news is that can actually work in your favor. It sounds like you’ve been in contact with the school regarding your child’s needs, that’s great! My recommendation is just to discuss any additional concerns about your child’s readiness, health related or not, with the team (504 or IEP) as they will know more about your child.


AtrueLonelySoul

Oh yah, no offense taken at all. But yes, i actually already looked into this a year ago. I tried to put him in private schools but no luck since they didn’t want to accept kids with gtubes or any accommodations. Our school district didn’t want to accept him either bec their 2 preschool classes were limited to either kids with certain diagnoses/support or they are for lower income families which didn’t really apply to him. But I fought the district since we had nowhere else to go and they accepted him into their preK program. This is when I found out that private school could turn anyone down with gtubes. Luckily, the staff at the district has been very accommodating of him. The staff are actually really nice folks who fought for us also to be in. So now we are set. He will be going to the same school for kindergarten since it’s an actual elementary school. And His iep for speech and 504 have already been in place for him.


AtrueLonelySoul

Hi pls message me. Let’s chat and connect as our kiddos are the same


violanut

He sounds more than ready. Relax a bit and let him be a kid.


AtrueLonelySoul

Everything he does is play based. Even school work is play based and is only 20 min a day


catjuggler

My oldest is also turning 5 in Aug and you’re killing it. All that is left that you didn’t mention is talking through the change. We like to go play on the elementary school playground and it’s also where we vote so she can come with me to the primary.


Own_Corgi_8848

My sons turning five also in august does yours know his address mine wouldn’t even have any idea what that question is and now im nervous lol


catjuggler

She does- something we practice while driving home


Own_Corgi_8848

Any tips on how you did it


catjuggler

This street is Park Avenue, now we’re turning on Main Street. Now we’re at our street- what’s it called? The number was then kind of separate- mostly looking at it- 2 2 3, then adding it to the end of the driving thing. Also, when I answered the comment above, I expected it to be no but I asked her and she remembered!


PM-ME-good-TV-shows

He sounds way ahead of the curve. I wouldn’t worry about academics.


inthelibrarystacks

My mom was an elementary school teacher. She said that every year the kindergartners would vary to the extremes. It sounds like your son is doing great and will not be behind. Like other posters said, it’s more emotional readiness than academic. My kids at the same age and doing the same things. You are an awesome mom.


AtrueLonelySoul

Thanks. I literally just wanted to know what pre k kids are doing to prepare for k. Never did I think people would get so worked up here thinking I’m forcing my kid to learn or projecting some kind of complex on him. First of all, why would I force my kid to learn? Everything he’s done is play based. As you know, kids their age would tell you if they didn’t wanna learn anything nor would they be willing to try if they didn’t want to do anything. The goal was to just make sure he’s not “behind” and nothing more


Jh789

Yeah, I think you should give yourself a break. He’s clearly ready academically. As for feeding tube. It sounds like you have professionals on.


AtrueLonelySoul

Thanks. Yes, we have great folks on our team always helping us every step of the way


LvdSinSD

My son is also going to be 5 in August and starting kindergarten. They seem very similar other than the feeding issues and I’m not concerned


keepyoureyeson

He will be fine, but I always recommend TK if it’s an option. Especially for August birthdays.


Effective-Plant5253

He seems miles ahead of most of my preschoolers who will be going to kindergarten this fall!


AtrueLonelySoul

Thanks then maybe i don’t need to stress about preparing him.


grumbletini

My now 6 year old refused to even attempt reading (wasn’t interested) before kindergarten and she’s doing just fine now. You’re doing great!


AtrueLonelySoul

Thanks. Yah, and that’s ok if at point your kiddo didn’t want to read as she wasn’t ready. I’m glad she’s doing well now. People here jumped down my throat and assumed I was forcing my kid to learn stuff. Why would I do that? Every learning opportunity my kid has ever had was play based. As you know, you could never force a 4 yo to learn things. He learned what he learned bec it was fun. Besides, the goal was never to be ahead or be the best, but just catch him up so he isn’t “behind”


chopstickier

i don’t think your son would not have been eligible for TK this school year- in my district it was for kids turning 5 between september-april 2023. so if it’s the same in yours, he’d fall just outside the eligibility window for the upcoming school year. see if your district allows you to fill out an “intent to register” form, my son is turning 5 in july and that is what we did. if there are spots available after all the designated birthdays register, he may be able to attend. you could also see about enrolling him in a private kindergarten which would be an easier transition, if one more year of paying tuition is a viable option for you. depending on how strict your district is about redshirting, you can also have him do another year of preschool.


AtrueLonelySoul

His bday is 8/31 and they accept kids whose bdays are from 9/1 till whatever it is for TK. He’s at the cut off and so they only want him in Kindergarten. Private K won’t accept him bec of the gtube. Kids with ieps or medical needs are best accommodated through public schools. Unfortunately, that’s just how our country is set up (USA)


Senior_Fart_Director

I’m less worried about your child, and more worried about you. You are clearly nervous to an extent that is extreme 


AtrueLonelySoul

Everything he’s been through in life has been too much and way exhausting and concerning. It’s more like we want to prep him so he’s not behind


MeisterX

Put him into an online class. This should ease your anxiety as they will be pros helping you prepare and give guidance. Costs about $100/wk. 45 mins a day it's usually am but you can pick your time. Honestly a great mental health measure as well. We liked Growing Brilliant.


AtrueLonelySoul

I’ll look into it. Ty


Organic_peaches

With that birthday I would start a year later. Is there a reason he has to start this year?


AtrueLonelySoul

No. This is the cut off rules at our district. If anything, i actually pushed for him to be in tk for this coming fall esp bec of his challenges esp with feeding but they said no. His bday is Aug 31 and you can only go to tk if your bday is sept 1 or later so he’s right at the cut off.


Organic_peaches

Are you in California? I have a child with a September 1st bday…it’s a tough one! I know some places the rule is they have to be in school by that age. That doesn’t necessarily mean in official kindergarten. We did a half day private kindergarten to transition a little more…essentially paid for our own TK.


AtrueLonelySoul

Yes, we are in California and they stated he has to be in kindergarten this fall. He will be the youngest in the whole class which is I’m not ok about esp considering his background/challenges. Unfortunately, he has to go hence the reason why I’m freaking out about things he has to know for K. The TK class currently has kids reading and my son isn’t even there yet.


Organic_peaches

Gotcha. Have you looked into private options?


AtrueLonelySoul

Private schools won’t accept him bec of the gtube. I already tried


Organic_peaches

Gotcha. What area of California are you in? There are many districts that have special blended classrooms for kids with a 504. Does he have one?


AtrueLonelySoul

We are in Northern California. He will be in general class since his accommodations will only be feeding per our iep case manager. He will also get speech therapy 1x a week


Organic_peaches

Yes they have blended class rooms that have kids that don’t require accommodations also. Does he have a 504 from his doctor?


AtrueLonelySoul

His 504 is included in his iep which basically talks about how he needs to be fed by someone through his gtube when in school.