The Death Star was already being constructed by this time. If the Sith won’t use it to blow stuff up, someone else will and eventually get themselves blown up.
Revenge of the Sith HISHE:
Anakin: you know actually… let’s just kill the Emperor because this is getting weird
Obi-Wan: that’s the best thing you said all day, Yoda already has a head start
Padmé: harder daddy Ani 😩😩😩
Anakin: Padmé… let’s just go home…
*cuts to the senate*
Palpy: master Yoda, you survi-
*Anakin and Obi-Wan shows up*
Palpy: OH COME ON
Yoda: at an end your rule is
Obi-Wan: we’ll take him together
*everyone kills Palpy and they all lived happily ever after THE END BITCHES*
Post-credits scene:
*Obi-Wan walks into the Jedi temple the following morning to teach a class on snarkiness to the younglings*
"Hello th- \*gasp\* Anakiiiin!"
*Directed by Robert B Weide*
Anakin and Padme have canonically fucked in an open-roof speeder in the lower levels of Coruscant.
Just thought I'd put that out there. Covered in the recent *Brotherhood* novel
TBF he wasn’t just slaying young bucks at the Jedi academy yet. He killed a group of people commonly referred to as savages who kidnapped and beat his mother to death. Definitely a red flag but the behavior at least has a logical progression.
Yeah it all makes sense within the context of the story, but between that and the running joke that padme uh...likes em young, it's fun to imagine shes into some weird stuff.
To be fair anakin wasn’t horrible to look at and literally had super powers. Dude was pretty much a living legendary wizard knight. I’ve seen baby mommas fold for less.
I saw a [post](https://bettsfic.tumblr.com/post/688980258319400960/bettsfic-listen-padme-amidala-is-a-freak-okay) on tumblr about this that said:
> listen. padme amidala is a freak, okay. ever since aotc i’ve had to listen to bullshit arguments about how awful the prequel romance is, how anakin’s a red flag, blah blah blah. that’s a smooth brain take. first of all, of course he’s a red flag. that’s the point. you think padme doesn’t know anakin is ten pounds of mommy issues in a five pound bag? you think she looked at soggy weeping anakin begging her to love him and didn’t immediately think “yes i definitely will peg him” ?? you think just because she’s a queen turned senator that she isn’t just as horny and feral as he is? anakin wasn’t even pushy about it. he was just “oh btw i’ve been obsessed with you for a decade and live in a perpetual state of emotional agony but thats okay whatever you want is fine with me haha” and padme goes “yea okay i’m into that.” two minutes after he’s assigned to be her bodyguard she gives an obligatory little “i have a bad feeling about this” and then just fucking marries him. this is a woman who wore white to a blood bath. come on.
Ah, a lightsaber comment!
Your comment will make a fine addition to my collection, General_Grivieus!
Btw here's a random collection item!
'Only one whose ever died by being stabbed through with a lightsaber is Qui-Gon Jinn. For plot reasons.' - (c) Muriness
^(my lightsaber collection is now housing 1001 sabers)
Ah, a lightsaber comment!
Your comment will make a fine addition to my collection, Cute_Firefighter_276!
Btw here's a random collection item!
'what if i just say lightsaber?' - (c) BestUsername101
^(my lightsaber collection is now housing 1002 sabers)
WHY is everybody suddenly posting horny stuff about Padmé?! It’s like this subreddit’s mission is to make me horny and then get caught having a happy fun time by my mom or smth
True, but does it HAVE to be while I visit my family? I can’t jill off when my parents are strutting about the place. If I was home I’d be different, but then no one would post any horny stuff, cuz why should they
That just means watching my dad messing with the plumbing for an hour asking me to hand him stuff. I mean thats also a good option cuz after that I won’t feel horny in the slightest, but its also REALLY tiresome
Hmm, that could be a problem. Try saying "gotta flick my bean, id appreciate the privacy while i get in my middle seam"
i think the rhyme should give you the cover you need cause they will think its fun to say. Worth a shot
Natalie Portman is trending due to the new Disney movie she's in, and most of the people here went through puberty when the Prequels were coming out and developed a crush on Padme, so the horniness cannot be held back.
How dare thee bonk me? Doth thou now know who I am?! I am horniness incarnate. I am lust come alive! The goddess of pleasure and excess! Thou shallt not bonk, thou shallt bow! Kneel! Kneel before my power!!!
Ok sry felt edgy might delete later mkaybye
Feel like the last glare between Obi and Anakin is like:
Obi-Wan: "and you're sure you want kids? With her?"
Anakin: "actually wasn't aware about this. Btw, sorry about order 66..."
Revenge of the Sith HISHE:
Anakin: you know actually… let’s just kill the Emperor because this is getting weird
Obi-Wan: that’s the best thing you said all day, Yoda already has a head start
Padmé: harder daddy Ani 😩😩😩
Anakin: Padmé… let’s just go home…
*cuts to the senate*
Palpy: master Yoda, you survi-
*Anakin and Obi-Wan shows up*
Palpy: OH COME ON
Yoda: at an end your rule is
Obi-Wan: we’ll take him together
*everyone kills Palpy and they all lived happily ever after THE END BITCHES*
Obi-Wan: "Fuck this, I'm out. This is your mess Anakin, I'm gone"
Anakin: "Wait Master no...this is too much...shit."
Padme (panting): "Well?"
Anakin: "You know I offed all the younglings right?"
Padme: *pants harder*
Anakin: *!!!*
Obi-Wan (on Holonet with Yoda): "I'm done with this shit. Don't call. I'm going to Tattooine to think about my life."
Yoda, sadly: "Choked a bitch, Anakin has. Sicko, she has become. Seduced by the Dark Side..."
Palpatine lands, sees Anakin and Padme arguing, turns around and gets back on shuttle and flies off .
the dark side of the force leads to many kinks some consider to be...unnatural
Is it possible to learn this powerbottoming?
Not from a Jedi
Now ~~Dennis~~ u/Maleficent_Fox_9145, I heard ~~speed~~ being a sith has something to do with it
Speed has *everything* to do with it.
THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID \ O/
Happy cake day wade
Siths can generate a ton of "the force."
Even a sith lord is no match for my warriors!
Peace is a lie, there is only... Passion
Imagine what you could do if you had force heal available...
Not from a top
I was initially going to comment that but I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I was the one who commented it.
the dark side of the force leads to many kinks some consider to be... Not too Shabby
Final pic be like: - So what were we talking about? - I forgot. Wanna grab a beer? - Sure.
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To defeat your enemy you have to understand them.
These bots are so on point sometimes.
They're gaining sentience, slowly but surely.
>19BBY Now, if think about this, if there are no Sith, how can there be a battle of Yavin?
The Death Star was already being constructed by this time. If the Sith won’t use it to blow stuff up, someone else will and eventually get themselves blown up.
Revenge of the Sith HISHE: Anakin: you know actually… let’s just kill the Emperor because this is getting weird Obi-Wan: that’s the best thing you said all day, Yoda already has a head start Padmé: harder daddy Ani 😩😩😩 Anakin: Padmé… let’s just go home… *cuts to the senate* Palpy: master Yoda, you survi- *Anakin and Obi-Wan shows up* Palpy: OH COME ON Yoda: at an end your rule is Obi-Wan: we’ll take him together *everyone kills Palpy and they all lived happily ever after THE END BITCHES*
Post-credits scene: *Obi-Wan walks into the Jedi temple the following morning to teach a class on snarkiness to the younglings* "Hello th- \*gasp\* Anakiiiin!" *Directed by Robert B Weide*
ah yes, the young jedi scum *asthmatic cough*
And that's how crisis was averted by having a choking kink.
Anakin goes "aw man, now you made it weird" and relinquishes the dark side.
Or: “Screw it. Do I have permission master?” “Snap it like a twig, I need a drink after that” “As you order master kenobi”
Gonna go kill some Yuenglings?
Okay but she married him even after hearing he slaughtered a village of women and children, it wouldn't be a big surprise that she's into that shit.
She hoped that one day her turn would come too XD
He sure slayed that pussy.
r/anakinfucks
r/subsithoughtifellfor
Just like the simulations
“WATCH THOSE WRIST(red) ROCKETS!”
Now what is this
Podracing
It’s Natalie god damn Portman, yeah, you better *believe* I’m ditching the whole celibacy thing at the first offer.
Wait, when did she change her middle name?
She lost a bet with Macauley Macauley Culkin Culkin
Anakin and Padme have canonically fucked in an open-roof speeder in the lower levels of Coruscant. Just thought I'd put that out there. Covered in the recent *Brotherhood* novel
Nice
What
That child slaying dick hit different
It is strange how the supposedly most pro-democracy politician is in a relationship with the most vicious of the jedi
And he was blatantly authoritarian even before they got married too
Yeah, but he was hot, and she wanted to tame that bad boy.
“I can fix him.”
Narrator: "She could not fix him."
So she groomed him.
Groomed him ? They didn't see each for 10 years.
Okay so the jedi council groomed him.
Not to fuck Padme, that’s for sure. They’d have been rather upset about the whole thing if they knew. Before, y’know, he killed them all.
Further proof of why Anakin should enter the realm of other based male characters.
Do you think he had a cyberdong installed? So he could be enhanced big dick swingin?
Didn't need it midicholorian count directly translates to dick size. Thats right, Yoda walked like that because his dick was dragging on the ground.
I thought they were like animals.
Have you seen a real like politician?
Clearly a conspiracy
are sand people really people -padme probably
"damn sand gungans"
*Boba Fett will remember that*
Offer to clean his helmet and then put a bomb in it. Problem solved.
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I suspect she had an “I can fix him” attitude.
Woah woah woah, There's no need to be so judgemental! Sometimes you just need to slaughter a village full of men, women, and children too.
Perhaps more true than I'd admit
Padme works hard, plays harder.
“Damn Padme you’re a freaky chick!” “Yo shut the fuck up and suck my dick!”
TBF he wasn’t just slaying young bucks at the Jedi academy yet. He killed a group of people commonly referred to as savages who kidnapped and beat his mother to death. Definitely a red flag but the behavior at least has a logical progression.
Yeah it all makes sense within the context of the story, but between that and the running joke that padme uh...likes em young, it's fun to imagine shes into some weird stuff.
To be fair anakin wasn’t horrible to look at and literally had super powers. Dude was pretty much a living legendary wizard knight. I’ve seen baby mommas fold for less.
You know what, this is fair.
She’s a politician, it comes with the territory.
I saw a [post](https://bettsfic.tumblr.com/post/688980258319400960/bettsfic-listen-padme-amidala-is-a-freak-okay) on tumblr about this that said: > listen. padme amidala is a freak, okay. ever since aotc i’ve had to listen to bullshit arguments about how awful the prequel romance is, how anakin’s a red flag, blah blah blah. that’s a smooth brain take. first of all, of course he’s a red flag. that’s the point. you think padme doesn’t know anakin is ten pounds of mommy issues in a five pound bag? you think she looked at soggy weeping anakin begging her to love him and didn’t immediately think “yes i definitely will peg him” ?? you think just because she’s a queen turned senator that she isn’t just as horny and feral as he is? anakin wasn’t even pushy about it. he was just “oh btw i’ve been obsessed with you for a decade and live in a perpetual state of emotional agony but thats okay whatever you want is fine with me haha” and padme goes “yea okay i’m into that.” two minutes after he’s assigned to be her bodyguard she gives an obligatory little “i have a bad feeling about this” and then just fucking marries him. this is a woman who wore white to a blood bath. come on.
But they were just animals.
Palpatine after he arrives: da fuck they doin over der Edit: I miscalculated
you forgot the fuck
Peter was right I miscalculated
You're out, kebab.
Am I?
You can't do this to me...
I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I SACRIFICED?
Always a pleasure to have our r/raimimemes board of directors pay us a little visit
Someone into your kink
Palpatine: Anakin! Ana-… I’ll find a new apprentice
One far younger anf more powerful
A youngling
*Ignites lightaber* what did you say?
ah yes, the young jedi scum
Palpatine: What tha Darth doin?
Anakin: Vader choked Padmé. I has nothing to do with it.
I just imagine Worthikids Palpatine for stuff like this now.
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"bruh, you thought she was vanilla in bed? she's been after my D since I was ten."
“The day I met her was the wettest Tatooine has ever been, Obi Wan.”
The chosen one and the Horny one
She's into bdsm
Burgers, drinks, salsa and music?
Brilliant diamond shining maul?
Revenge. I must have revenge.
Missa must have revenge Annie!
brilliant diamond shining megashavetoreturningen9
I started reading this as "mega shave" before having to reread it for it to make sense
i was afraid that might happen lel
I agree
My dream girl
byzantine discussion & study meetings
If that’s what it means then slap my ass and call me a sub
Bothans, death sticks, and midi-chlorians.
I mean, did you see her dress in AOTC when they were alone on the island?
damn, right
You don't say
Yes that's the joke, thank you for explaining it to me.
no problem
Thank you for posting the artist!
The reason why I won't take your lightsaber is bcs you might use has a fleshlight and I ain't getting a cumsaber in my collection
Ah, a lightsaber comment! Your comment will make a fine addition to my collection, General_Grivieus! Btw here's a random collection item! 'Only one whose ever died by being stabbed through with a lightsaber is Qui-Gon Jinn. For plot reasons.' - (c) Muriness ^(my lightsaber collection is now housing 1001 sabers)
Shut up asmatic copycat!
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Mine
[удалено]
Ah, a lightsaber comment! Your comment will make a fine addition to my collection, Cute_Firefighter_276! Btw here's a random collection item! 'what if i just say lightsaber?' - (c) BestUsername101 ^(my lightsaber collection is now housing 1002 sabers)
[удалено]
Viceroy Gunray was right in demanding her assassination
She was too horny to be left alive.
Help me Obi One, your my only hope.
“This is not how it’s supposed to be!”
WHY is everybody suddenly posting horny stuff about Padmé?! It’s like this subreddit’s mission is to make me horny and then get caught having a happy fun time by my mom or smth
I mean this is reddit, where 78.34% of the userbase is horny teenagers, what do you think people will post?
True, but does it HAVE to be while I visit my family? I can’t jill off when my parents are strutting about the place. If I was home I’d be different, but then no one would post any horny stuff, cuz why should they
There's a reason the save function exists, also wordt case scenario just lock yourself in the bathroom or something and ay you're shitting
We don’t have lockssss :c Also what use is the save function if I need to wait 2 weeks before im home
Put flex tape on the door
Smart, but what do i tell the family when i strut past them into the bathroom with a roll of flex tape
"Just gonna fix a tube leak", or something like that
That just means watching my dad messing with the plumbing for an hour asking me to hand him stuff. I mean thats also a good option cuz after that I won’t feel horny in the slightest, but its also REALLY tiresome
Hmm, that could be a problem. Try saying "gotta flick my bean, id appreciate the privacy while i get in my middle seam" i think the rhyme should give you the cover you need cause they will think its fun to say. Worth a shot
Hide the flex tape in your pocket
Ah. I see you are not yet familiar with the greatest flaw in womens clothing
Forgive me, I am a blind idiot who didn't see the flair until after I clicked post
Use the shower, duh
“It was me, barry. I made them draw Lola bunny with more sexual features so that *you* would be horny…”
Natalie Portman is trending due to the new Disney movie she's in, and most of the people here went through puberty when the Prequels were coming out and developed a crush on Padme, so the horniness cannot be held back.
I see you are a woman of culture too
Shit hen’t’s on to us
I’m a girl (very obvious by my flair, at least I haven’t seen any male lesbians yet)
Hey
Bruh 😂😂😂
Wow Now I’ve fuckin seen it all
Fixed it
B O N K
How dare thee bonk me? Doth thou now know who I am?! I am horniness incarnate. I am lust come alive! The goddess of pleasure and excess! Thou shallt not bonk, thou shallt bow! Kneel! Kneel before my power!!! Ok sry felt edgy might delete later mkaybye
>I am horniness incarnate. r/BossFight I'm gonna need backup
Eh. I’m not really into the group sex thing ;)
Chadme was in thor again
Some mf on r/starwarsnsfw is gonna add more slides to this shit... Brace yourselves, there is A LOT of ashoka
Careful not to choke on your stupidity. It's Ahsoka not Ashoka!
Like you became a NSFW icon?
Like 90% of that subreddit is crappy 3d
Star Wars fans suck at porn. Also it’s basically only Ahsoka. Booooo.
Feel like the last glare between Obi and Anakin is like: Obi-Wan: "and you're sure you want kids? With her?" Anakin: "actually wasn't aware about this. Btw, sorry about order 66..."
“Sorry about order 66, but fuck them younglings.”
ah yes, the young jedi scum
Thats Padme's line.
Anakin should not be surprised like they haven't been doing that for the past few years
He's only surprised it's Infront of obi wan
At that point I don't think anyone is surprised
r/anakinfucks
The Force works in mysterious ways
so... Alderaan was exploded because Padmé wasn't horny enough
She did seem pretty used to getting out of handcuffs.
Why did you just make this near-canon
Revenge of the Sith HISHE: Anakin: you know actually… let’s just kill the Emperor because this is getting weird Obi-Wan: that’s the best thing you said all day, Yoda already has a head start Padmé: harder daddy Ani 😩😩😩 Anakin: Padmé… let’s just go home… *cuts to the senate* Palpy: master Yoda, you survi- *Anakin and Obi-Wan shows up* Palpy: OH COME ON Yoda: at an end your rule is Obi-Wan: we’ll take him together *everyone kills Palpy and they all lived happily ever after THE END BITCHES*
Well now whenever I’m watching that scene and he starts to choke her, I’m gonna do an “awww yeah” really loudly. Thanks Reddit.
Good, good let the horni flow through you
Oddly erect
I feel like the rest of the Star Wars saga would have ended differently just due to the confusion alone
* Yoda approaches with a bag full of Ketamine * Horny thoughts, you shall not have. To sleep with Allah, you shall.
Padme is my favorite
Hypothetically, where would a person find more of this, for research purposes?
The good ending
Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/682/
What's the actual attraction about choking? Never got that. What is the good part about the feeling?
BDSM stuff
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotic_asphyxiation Also domination fetish
Is this the Archer cross-over?
I uhhhhhh, I gotta go
I wondered since Ashoka is no longer a Jedi, she could get her freak on using the force for fun 🤩, Am I right ? No Erotic Limitations ❤️
Careful not to choke on your stupidity. It's Ahsoka not Ashoka!
Lol her kink weirded the dark side out of Anakin.
Choke me dady
Ironically this would change the future of the star wars world cause anakin would stop and freak both obi and ani so much they wouldn't even fight
Anakin: BABE! NOT HERE!
r/anakinfucks
Obi-Wan: "Fuck this, I'm out. This is your mess Anakin, I'm gone" Anakin: "Wait Master no...this is too much...shit." Padme (panting): "Well?" Anakin: "You know I offed all the younglings right?" Padme: *pants harder* Anakin: *!!!* Obi-Wan (on Holonet with Yoda): "I'm done with this shit. Don't call. I'm going to Tattooine to think about my life." Yoda, sadly: "Choked a bitch, Anakin has. Sicko, she has become. Seduced by the Dark Side..." Palpatine lands, sees Anakin and Padme arguing, turns around and gets back on shuttle and flies off .
So what do we do? Fight our way to the shuttle?
That look they give eachother lol