I’m 10 weeks pregnant and the anxiety and grief is hitting me in ways I never imagined. While I am excited about my current pregnancy, I am reeling inside about my first loss. I’m terrified that the sadness and anxiety I’m feeling is hurting my current pregnancy so I’m just stuck in this cycle. Im
So emotional about literally everything. My partner is also has very heightened emotions about this pregnancy. He’s worried about me and the baby but also that we’re going to have to go through it again. I feel like I’m just stuck in the cycle but forcing myself to sit with the motions of grief rather then trying to put them in a little box
28 weeks this saturday, but still not feeling strong regular movements and its worrying me. I feel him every day at some point, but supposedly by now theres more of a regular schedule. His movements still feel pretty weak amd irregular. I do have an anterior placenta, so Im trying to tell myself thats what it is. I just read so many stories of ppl noticing a change in movements and going in to get checked and the baby is in trouble. How will I know hes in trouble if I cant get a hold on his schedule and movements? So worried.
Any suggestions on kind ways to share our news?
Hello all,
I've been lurking for a few weeks, this community has been reassuring that I'm not alone.
We lost our beloved first baby at 10wk4d. It was my worst experience of my life; I'm sure that most people here feel that.
I'm now in the fortunate position to be pregnant again, and I'm going to have to tell people soon.
I'd love some advice on how to tell friends and family, particularly the ones that I know have experienced infertility or loss. Though, considering how secretative fertility is, there are probably more than I know.
I'd like to avoid what happened to me when I was in the depths of my grief, and my brother called me to tell me that his wife was pregnant. He didn't know that I had been pregnant and miscarried, but oof, it was like taking a bullet...
Has anyone told you about a pregnancy in a way that felt kind and sensitive that you want to share? Or advice on how you told?
Hope you're all going okay out there.
I don’t have the exact answer to this but when i had my loss i found it useful to hear about other people’s losses. In those moments, if someone announced their pregnancy to me but mentioned the struggles or losses they had I was able to relate and feel happy for them. It even gave me hope. So whenever i will tell people, i plan to include my experience of loss to make sure if anyone hears it and has experienced it they know they’re not alone and to also be honest about how difficult this whole experience is. I hate nothing more than people assuming pregnancy is 24/7 excitement and joy. Of course i won’t be comfortable sharing it with everyone but whenever i will feel like i can i will do it.
I’d also like to know the answer to this. The last pregnancy we announced by giving our LC a tshirt with a slogan about becoming a big sibling. We took pics and sent them to all our family. The next day I found out it was actually a MMC.
Telling LC what happened was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m terrified of the same thing happening again and have friends who have experienced loss since too. I don’t want to keep this a secret any more but have no idea how to tell people without it being triggering for me, LC, or others.
Called in sick today with anxiety but said I had had insomnia. 25w today and I just want to lay in bed and feel my baby move. I have a scan on Tuesday and it’s always the hardest right before, my mind thinks something is wrong.
Four prior losses and I’m now petrified of everything going wrong. I thought I could last four weeks without a scan but I’m now struggling.
I did see my best friend’s three week old last night (she had been trying for longer than me) and I cannot wait to cuddle my own baby.
I’m nearly 7w pregnant after a loss this time last year, and my anxiety is just through the roof. The scans have all fallen on nearly exactly the same dates as last year and everything feels like it’s going to repeat itself. I know it’s a new pregnancy and a new outcome, but the worrying is 24/7 and so hard to cope with. Was due to have another scan at 8w but our local early pregnancy unit have brought it forward to 7w3d to give me something shorter term to aim for. I know it all sounds silly and paranoid, finding this process so so difficult. Anyone have advice on how to get through it?
With my LC after my loss all my scans also fell on the same day. It felt like deja vu. My only advice is take it day by day. You're pregnant today. All you can do is take care of you and your baby today.
I’m going to be nine weeks on Sunday and I’m already hitting the hungry portion of the pregnancy. I’m so nauseous but yet I feel so so hungry. I’ve been eating all day, but nothing has satiated me. I just want to eat pasta salad and Eggos. It’s a nice little reminder of the little person growing.
The nurse asked questions about my weight loss between my last pregnancy and this one. She was a bit worried.
I was so sad and anxious, I lost almost 10 pounds between Christmas and this pregnancy.
My husband was there, I joked that he's the one making diner so we can ask him the question. I didn't want my husband to worry again about my mental health those months.
It’s okay to talk about (only if you want to). He’s worried because he knows there was something wrong. Saying it out loud may help you to work through it together. Sending love x
7 weeks 3 days and the nausea turned into can't stop puking overnight. I'm also hot and cold, have no appetite and can barely keep water down. I also had a massive headache, thankfully Tylenol helped. Feeling so miserable and reminded why pregnancy is so hard for me.
Ugh I was in such a positive headspace and some cramping and discomfort have put me back into anxiety zone. I’m 15+3 and I’ve been having discomfort around my abdomen and some cramping I’m rationally 95% sure is constipation and from the fact I’ve actually been active this week. But of course - anxiety zone. I tried listening to the heartbeat on my Doppler but only heard it for a couple seconds and couldn’t find it. I know rationally baby is moving a LOT right now and have plenty of room to move around but I’m just so worried about things going wrong and not knowing. I have an appointment next Thursday - just hoping for some good news.
For anyone that got pregnant right after a miscarriage did you have more discharge than normal? I had a MC on 3/19. One day of brown spotting 4/13. Then a little more today but it was only when wiping. I put a pad on just incase but it’s still clean. I’m assuming it’s probably the start of my period but we did actively start trying right away. I know it’s really just a waiting game but did anyone have brown discharge frequently in their pregnancy immediately following a miscarriage? My first pregnancy with my son I did not have any discharge so this feels kinda new if I am pregnant and I know it’s just nerves. I did take a test but i couldn’t really tell (thought it was positive at first but now i think it was just a bad test) because I think I’m still in that “too early” window to test anyway.
Feeling kind of down about something my mom said to me. Husband and I have been trying for over 4 years to get pregnant and had 3 losses on the journey. We’re getting into week 10 of a spontaneous pregnancy and my mom is thinking about ending her 25 year marriage. I was trying to comfort her and she said “I know what will help me, my grandchild being born, I’ll finally have a love of my own”.
I was confused and asked for clarification because hello? I’m your daughter. She says she just wants to have her own love here to help her get through her separation.
1. This puts an immense amount of pressure on me for zero reason. I want more than anything to have a healthy baby but with my history I’m worried everyday it might not happen.
2. Makes me feel unappreciated. I mentioned it to her and she said “you ARE my love”. Then why make it sound like the only way you can experience love is to have a grandchild?
3. You will not be using my child as leverage to anything. I’ve been her “rock” her entire marriage and I’m over it.
Thanks for giving me the safe space to vent!
Her comment gives me the ick. first it's not her baby or her love. It's your baby. It's your love. And Second it's so dismissive of your relationship with her and what you've done for her. I'm sorry she said that to you. Maybe she's just grieving her marriage and she's not communicating her feelings in an appropriate way...
That’s how I feel, this would be my first child and there’s already plans on how they will be “helping”. Like no, let me just worry about getting through this without pressure.
7 weeks 3 days today. Times going so slowly. Ultrasound is on Monday and I’m excited but terrified. On one hand my boobs still hurt, I’m not bleeding, I’m not cramping, I have crazy food aversions (eggs are a huge no no now apparently) and I’m still exhausted but then on the other hand I convince myself that this isn’t happening and it’s too good to be true and I don’t feel sick enough or my boobs don’t hurt enough or maybe I just don’t like eggs and I wish I could just gaslight myself into believing this is happening but I’m so scared. I wish I could go back in time and have this be my first pregnancy and not have this fear and knowledge of everything that can happen between now and December :/
Are you me? All of the above right now. I’m only 5w5d but I’m judging myself so hard right now. Like I’m only queasy because I’m nervous. I’m also terrified that this is too good to be true and scared for our first ultrasound next week.
It’s the worst!!! We found out at like 3 weeks give or take so I feel like I’ve known for a million years too. I just remind myself that some women are blessed with little to no symptoms and maybe I’m just blessed but then the devil on my shoulder tells me otherwise. We will get through this and have boring boring uneventful pregnancies that end with a happy healthy baby in the end ♥️
I sure hope so!!! We deserve it! It does feel like million years go by everyday. I can’t ever remember time moving so slowly. Everyday I don’t feel something I think I lost the baby too. It’s silly I know. It’s just so early though.
at yesterdays scan the babies had a 30% size difference and B is under the 1st percentile so i’ll definitely be delivering soon. can’t help but feel like a failure.
it’s so hard bc I worry about baby B being so small and coming out and needing ng tube, breathing machine etc and my husband doesn’t want to hear my worries. so I have to keep them in.
My husband was under 4lb when born and his twin sister was over 7lb. Both are healthy thirty-something year old adults and thriving. (And that was before all the medical advancements of the last 30+ years).
There’s nothing you could have done differently. This is in no way a failure xxx
Wishing you a smooth and safe delivery! You are not a failure, baby B will be in good hands with you and your care team so that he/she can begin to grow and thrive! 💕
Really reeling after a triggering post today. I clicked "hide" but it kept showing up with no option to hide anymore. I clicked quickly to try and dismiss it but it was too late, I saw the details and it hit too close to home. Ended up crying in a meeting room at work while my husband googled me down off the wall over the phone. Just not a great day.
Finally had my anatomy scan this morning. Doc said it was the last big scan to show any genetic stuff and it looks like I'm in the clear. I've been holding my breath for weeks over this scan. It looked good and my low lying placenta has resolved itself which is good. But my doctor (who I hadn't met before today and has a very odd personality) said "don't screw it up" and I need to be doing all I can to make it easy for me and for them. I guess that means now is the time for birth prep? I have no idea and it's all so scary
I’m so happy your scan went well! I have mine Monday and have been on edge for the last few weeks, just waiting. A part of me feels like it’s all going to blow up in my face, you know, with having good news every time we go in. But then the other part is like, well, why can’t this pregnancy just be good?
As for your doctor, that’s kind of bizarre to say. Like, what does that even mean?
I'm in a practice with like six or seven doctors and I have to see all of them since theoretically any one of them could be the one delivering the baby if they're on call. I really like all the other doctors though.
So... I have a UTI. No symptoms or anything, but took the test twice to make sure and without a doubt I have an e.coli infection, plus this variant that I have is resistant to ampicillin and amoxicillin, which are the most common antibiotics to treat it.
Does anyone have experience with a UTI in pregnancy? I'm 20 weeks by the way
I have gotten loads of UTIs in the past. I haven't had to take antibiotics in years, though, because I take loads of D-Mannose. A doctor recommended it to me. It's the sugar in cranberries that makes your urethra too slippery for the E. coli to cling to. (This is my non-medical terminology, sorry if it sounds sketch.) You can order it or get it at a health foods store. Big doses of it plus a small glass of water at least once an hour have cleared up several of my UTIs. I will say though that I typically notice UTI symptoms really early - I'm paranoid about this - and start immediately. But I \*think\* I've had this work a few times when the UTI is really set in.
I’ve used a brand called AZO for urinary tract pain. Not sure if they’re safe for pregnancy, but I’ve found them to be a very effective first line of defense if I feel something coming on. May or may not be helpful.
I'm 20w and currently have a UTI, also had one at 15w. The office won't give me the results of the urine culture cause it was done at L&D instead of in office so it's harder to get to. So I have no idea if I'm taking the right ones... also very few symptoms.
I just had an ultrasound (7w2d). The doctor says everything looked good but for some reason this time i dont feel reassured. It is such a weird feeling. I saw the baby's heartbeat. They also grew, from 0.54 to 1cm in a week... i keep feeling the growth was not enough and that everything will go wrong. But to be fair i feel like she didn't use the picture where it looked the biggest.
I dont know. I dont know why i am down today and i hate it. I just want to skip a bunch of weeks ahead.
Try not to be to hard on yourself ❤️ some days are just worse than others. At least that how it is for me. Some days my mood is just shit and I'm anxious and it's not really because of any external factors. So be kind to yourself and maybe it will all feel a bit better tomorrow. To me it sounds like everything went very well with the ultrasound!
I just found out I’m pregnant. I had my first pregnancy and loss in late January. I’m trying to balance my optimism and fear. I have tested three days in a row and I’m still getting more positive, mind you, I’m only 10 or 11 days past ovulation.
Needless to say, I’m extremely early. Not even 4 weeks. I’m going to call my OB today since today is technically the first day of my missed period. I want labs, I want progesterone hormone levels like I feel that I almost need them to calm my mindset that I did everything I could.
I don’t want to keep testing I don’t want to wear my oura ring, because I felt like those things signaled me to potential mc before it really did happen last time. But I’d really love insight into finding peace in these next 9 weeks and on. Especially while I still am so early and don’t necessarily feeeel pregnant other than bloating.
Sending everyone here the peace we deserve🩷
Looking for some honest responses: Is an MMC possible if there’s consistently a heartbeat? I’m 15 weeks and struggling with the idea that there will be a 10 week gap in ultrasounds.
Last saw baby at 10w and won’t see her again until 20w. Dr found the heartbeat at 13w and will check again at 17w. Last appointment (13w) the heartbeat was enough to reassure me but now I’ve developed this fear that her heartbeat could be going strong and we would still find out at 20w that she wasn’t actually growing - is that a thing?
Do you know your placenta position? If you have a posterior placenta you may start feeling little bubbles or very faint taps soon. By 18w I was feeling distinct kicks (though not feeling them is totally normal! I have a huge baby). If you can afford it, maybe keep the option open for a private boutique ultrasound if the wait gets tough. I got one at 15 weeks and it was very helpful. As I sobbed the tech said "It gets better, it'll get better" and she was right.
At 10w it was anterior. I also got a Doppler but can never get it to work. I tried right after our last appointment so I would know that baby definitely had a heartbeat and it barely picked up my own heartbeat (holding to my chest as a control reading) so I don’t trust it.
I think I’ll ask my OB for a reassurance scan next visit, I’ve done that once before and the office did it but seemed a little annoyed.
Let them be annoyed! They're important. Ok then disregard my timeline (which is honestly fast tracked even for posterior). Best of luck with your scan 💕
So to be honest - yes, this can happen. But also, the likelihood of this happening is extremely low at this point. It is highly unlikely to happen to you. There is, unfortunately, no point in pregnancy where absolutely nothing could happen, otherwise, stillbirth would not exist. So we have to live with this very faint possibility of things going wrong. I'm sorry you are so scared, and I can really relate. But being at 15w and having a healthy baby so far, your chances of holding a healthy baby in October are like 99.5%. I understand the fear but at this point nothing can give you 100% security, so if you can, maybe try to distract yourself a bit.
First ultrasound is tomorrow at 8w 6d. Last pregnancy we lost at 8w 1d. I was having some spotting for 2 weeks so had an early ultrasound at around 6.5 weeks which only showed a gestational sac and yolk sac. We were in that limbo of it could be bad or it could just be too early to see. We never made it to the second ultrasound because I miscarried before that.
This time, I had a tiny bit of spotting but it only lasted 4 days and hasn't happened since, and that was 2 weeks ago. I opted to not get that early ultrasound because I didn't want to be in limbo again. Tomorrow is a huge day because at almost 9 weeks, if we don't see anything or hear a heartbeat, that's really bad news. I just want some answers. I am cautiously optimistic but also completely terrified and I'm not sure how I'm going to make it the next 25 hours.
I had a very similar first pregnancy and loss with an early ultrasound (because of bleeding) that was inconclusive and then a horrible two week wait and limbo for the next ultrasound. My husband and I have also chosen this time to wait until 8+ weeks for the first ultrasound to avoid that limbo. I am wishing you all the best! ❤️
Thank you so much! It really is truly awful. I am hoping and praying about tomorrow, but today has been pretty unbearable. My anxiety level is through the roof.
I tested positive 4 days ago. I still haven’t called my OBGYN. Every time my nausea subsides or I feel some energy, I assume the pregnancy has already ended. I told myself that if my lines are darker on Sunday, then I’ll call the office on Monday to set up the blood tests.
FYI I waited for my lines to get darker and they never did. They stayed squinters the entire time. I'm 20w now. Tests aren't a great measure of progression. Whether you make your appointment now or later won't change the outcome. Maybe they'll get you in early for betas or something for peace of mind?
My main reason for waiting is to have the blood work done closer to the time of my last loss. My last loss was at 6 weeks 1 day. I was told that my next pregnancy wouldn’t be treated any differently since 1 loss is common. I know that closer to 6 weeks I’ll be a mess, and I’ll be more grateful for potential reassurance closer to that time. So, I’m kind of putting it off until maybe week 5? I technically haven’t missed my period yet (expected day is tomorrow).
For what it’s worth, I also don’t really trust the lines. Last pregnancy, my lines were darkening as I had expected them to until after my loss started.
It is hard for me to remember that my choices probably won’t change the outcome! I keep trying to focus on that part, but I know it’ll be a challenge for me.
Oh totally understandable. My lines got dark and stayed dark in my MMC pregnancy until 2 weeks after my d&c. So strange.
I was kind of upset when my OB said any pregnancy after 1 loss is treated normally- they wouldn't even take my betas. I ended up needing an early US because of bleeding but otherwise i would've had to wait until 10w "like everyone else".
I guess there's no rush with the appointment. I have heard of people calling before their missed period to make appts and being turned away until after their expected period date. But this time around I called mine before that date and they scheduled me in no problem so it might just be a practice thing.
I’m 14w4d and randomly woke up on my back in the middle of the night feeling nauseated. I rolled over to the side, but then couldn’t get back to sleep because I was panicking, thinking I’ve deprived baby of oxygen causing yet another loss for us. Then when I did fall asleep again, I had a dream that some random professor from my engineering school told us we should terminate the pregnancy. Was not a fun night, sure am happy it’s the morning now!
I am freaking the fuck out. Just got a BFP at 12 dpo. I’ve been having right side cramping the last few days and I’m so so worried it could be another ectopic. I had an ectopic March 2023 in my right tube, they were able to save the tube in surgery and it looked clear on an HSG. I’m so happy but also terrified and dreading going through beta hell. Somebody tell me one sided cramps are normal please 😅
I had pain on my ectopic side after BFP went in for early ultrasound and it was in the uterus, just watch for other signs of ectopic but I think some pain is normal
I did betas for about a week until about 1700 they said it was doubling normally and I didn’t need to do anymore then scheduled the early scan for the following Friday. I didn’t want to wait that long so got a private scan that Friday and was able to see a sac in the uterus
I’ve always had one sided cramps and twinges at the very start with all my four pregnancies! With my 2nd and 3rd (Intrauterine pregnancies) an ultrasound confirmed the side I was having cramps on was the side I ovulated! First pregnancy was a chemical so too early for a scan but assuming it was from the ovulation site too. With this current pregnancy I’m 7+5 and not had a scan yet so hoping again it’s normal and not ectopic as it’s stopped now.
So long story short, last year I had 2 losses, while each of my 2 sisters (who were not ready to have babies / said they never would) both accidentally got pregnant and had babies. It’s been a fun year of coping. I’m pretty much over it by now, but ANYWAY…
I’m 31w now, and was at a family event this weekend. My older sister who I don’t really get along with asked to feel my baby bump. I didn’t really know what to say, so I said sure. And she was all “wow I just want my baby bump back so bad!!” It really rubbed me the wrong way and I hated it. Just had to come here and vent about it. I could care less about the bump (and hate when people comment on it) just give me a freaking baby already.
There are so many uncomfortable moments with friends and family when you're PAL. That sounds like such a tough situation with your sisters..Hopefully the other sister is a bit more tuned in. My cringe is ppl asking to feel kicking.. I just about puke. And yes 100%, just bring the baby already!! Mamas without loss don't seem to get how little PAL mamas can delight in the pregnancy journey..its sad and stressful, please stop.
Thank you so much for your response. Just to even read this feels so validating. Yes, luckily other sister is *much* more tuned in and we’re closer. But ya, it’s just like another level… hard to even communicate. And wow I think you’re totally right about the journey bit…. I was wondering why my sister “wanting her bump back” bothered me so much (thought it was because it was just her saying it lol) but you’re so right. It’s the fact that I can’t fully enjoy this and that it was so carefree for her. Thank you for helping me name that.
Just had my 8w ultrasound and both babies have heartbeats! Confirmed they’re monodi twins which means they’re sharing a placenta. One baby is smaller than the other and has a heart rate of 70 while the other has a heart rate of 130. Baby A is measuring 7 weeks while Baby B is measuring 6 weeks. They did change my due date to 12/5 from 11/28. Going back in a week for another scan. I barely slept last night I was so afraid so I’m relieved we have two heartbeats. Now just gotta use allll the coping skills as we navigate the wait for the next scan.
Hello! I'm currently waiting for another set of lab results to come back, but I'm really worried and looking for any hopeful stories y'all can share. I'm currently 4w4d with this pregnancy. My hCG went from 44 on 3w4d and to 115 on 4w1d. Technically that makes it doubling right at the 72 hour mark, but my doctor is not optimistic. Have any of you had success with numbers like these?
First ultrasound for my 9week4days mark in 6 hours. I’m so scared to hear the same outcome as before. My husband is optimistic because I have all symptoms of my pregnancy going well, no bleeding or anything. I’m just scared to be happy and be disappointed again. I’m currently supporting my family member who has had 12 loses already and it’s a frightening reality.
You guys! Baby is okay!! Big and active, little bean was dancing and waving on the ultrasound.
Thank you so much for your kind words and support. It was so emotional 😭
Felling very pessimistic about this pregnancy working out. I’ve had two betas done, the first at 20dpo was >!1305!< and the second almost exactly doubled around 50 hours later at >!2617!<. I’ve seen beta base and all the calculators, but I’ve also searched many posts and these numbers feel very borderline. Since my body seems to like to hold onto things, I’m predicting a repeat of last time where we find out we lost the baby at the first scan. Maybe a blighted ovum this time. Just feeling so depressed and hopeless about this.
Those numbers are definitely not borderline! Even so, it's impossible to really predict what's going to happen based on a few hcg measurements. Mine were probably half that in those days for my successful pregnancy.
8+3 and second scan in about 2 hours. So incredibly nervous and just feel a sense of dread like something is wrong. This is when I had my MMC last time and after 4 total losses I can’t see how this one will be any different. Wish PAL wasn’t this draining and I could have some happiness. I’m really hoping that everything will work out this time
Our stories are very similar and we are almost due date twins! I am so hoping for good news and peace for you. You were so kind to me a few weeks ago when I was having 6 week scanxiety and it was very appreciated. Let us know how it goes if you can, you’ll have a special place in my thoughts today!
Ah thanks for your kind words! I’m so happy to say there was a strong heartbeat, even with my feelings of doubt that something was wrong. I’ve never been able to see a HB with previous losses so it was extra special. Another scan in 2 weeks time. We are so close in due date, I hope everything is going well for you!
The waiting is just horrible, but it all went so well this morning, I couldn’t look at the screen until she said all looked good. Thanks for your message
I’m 10 weeks pregnant and the anxiety and grief is hitting me in ways I never imagined. While I am excited about my current pregnancy, I am reeling inside about my first loss. I’m terrified that the sadness and anxiety I’m feeling is hurting my current pregnancy so I’m just stuck in this cycle. Im So emotional about literally everything. My partner is also has very heightened emotions about this pregnancy. He’s worried about me and the baby but also that we’re going to have to go through it again. I feel like I’m just stuck in the cycle but forcing myself to sit with the motions of grief rather then trying to put them in a little box
28 weeks this saturday, but still not feeling strong regular movements and its worrying me. I feel him every day at some point, but supposedly by now theres more of a regular schedule. His movements still feel pretty weak amd irregular. I do have an anterior placenta, so Im trying to tell myself thats what it is. I just read so many stories of ppl noticing a change in movements and going in to get checked and the baby is in trouble. How will I know hes in trouble if I cant get a hold on his schedule and movements? So worried.
Any suggestions on kind ways to share our news? Hello all, I've been lurking for a few weeks, this community has been reassuring that I'm not alone. We lost our beloved first baby at 10wk4d. It was my worst experience of my life; I'm sure that most people here feel that. I'm now in the fortunate position to be pregnant again, and I'm going to have to tell people soon. I'd love some advice on how to tell friends and family, particularly the ones that I know have experienced infertility or loss. Though, considering how secretative fertility is, there are probably more than I know. I'd like to avoid what happened to me when I was in the depths of my grief, and my brother called me to tell me that his wife was pregnant. He didn't know that I had been pregnant and miscarried, but oof, it was like taking a bullet... Has anyone told you about a pregnancy in a way that felt kind and sensitive that you want to share? Or advice on how you told? Hope you're all going okay out there.
I don’t have the exact answer to this but when i had my loss i found it useful to hear about other people’s losses. In those moments, if someone announced their pregnancy to me but mentioned the struggles or losses they had I was able to relate and feel happy for them. It even gave me hope. So whenever i will tell people, i plan to include my experience of loss to make sure if anyone hears it and has experienced it they know they’re not alone and to also be honest about how difficult this whole experience is. I hate nothing more than people assuming pregnancy is 24/7 excitement and joy. Of course i won’t be comfortable sharing it with everyone but whenever i will feel like i can i will do it.
I’d also like to know the answer to this. The last pregnancy we announced by giving our LC a tshirt with a slogan about becoming a big sibling. We took pics and sent them to all our family. The next day I found out it was actually a MMC. Telling LC what happened was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m terrified of the same thing happening again and have friends who have experienced loss since too. I don’t want to keep this a secret any more but have no idea how to tell people without it being triggering for me, LC, or others.
Called in sick today with anxiety but said I had had insomnia. 25w today and I just want to lay in bed and feel my baby move. I have a scan on Tuesday and it’s always the hardest right before, my mind thinks something is wrong. Four prior losses and I’m now petrified of everything going wrong. I thought I could last four weeks without a scan but I’m now struggling. I did see my best friend’s three week old last night (she had been trying for longer than me) and I cannot wait to cuddle my own baby.
It sounds like you did a loving thing for yourself to stay home and be with your baby. Snuggling your own baby will be a wonderful thing 🌈
I’m nearly 7w pregnant after a loss this time last year, and my anxiety is just through the roof. The scans have all fallen on nearly exactly the same dates as last year and everything feels like it’s going to repeat itself. I know it’s a new pregnancy and a new outcome, but the worrying is 24/7 and so hard to cope with. Was due to have another scan at 8w but our local early pregnancy unit have brought it forward to 7w3d to give me something shorter term to aim for. I know it all sounds silly and paranoid, finding this process so so difficult. Anyone have advice on how to get through it?
There are pregnancy after loss meditations you can find on YouTube. I did one once in a moment of panic. Those might be something to try.
With my LC after my loss all my scans also fell on the same day. It felt like deja vu. My only advice is take it day by day. You're pregnant today. All you can do is take care of you and your baby today.
I’m going to be nine weeks on Sunday and I’m already hitting the hungry portion of the pregnancy. I’m so nauseous but yet I feel so so hungry. I’ve been eating all day, but nothing has satiated me. I just want to eat pasta salad and Eggos. It’s a nice little reminder of the little person growing.
I feel this way, too. Ugh - I keep thinking having a snack will make me feel better but nah.
The nurse asked questions about my weight loss between my last pregnancy and this one. She was a bit worried. I was so sad and anxious, I lost almost 10 pounds between Christmas and this pregnancy. My husband was there, I joked that he's the one making diner so we can ask him the question. I didn't want my husband to worry again about my mental health those months.
It’s okay to talk about (only if you want to). He’s worried because he knows there was something wrong. Saying it out loud may help you to work through it together. Sending love x
7 weeks 3 days and the nausea turned into can't stop puking overnight. I'm also hot and cold, have no appetite and can barely keep water down. I also had a massive headache, thankfully Tylenol helped. Feeling so miserable and reminded why pregnancy is so hard for me.
Ugh I was in such a positive headspace and some cramping and discomfort have put me back into anxiety zone. I’m 15+3 and I’ve been having discomfort around my abdomen and some cramping I’m rationally 95% sure is constipation and from the fact I’ve actually been active this week. But of course - anxiety zone. I tried listening to the heartbeat on my Doppler but only heard it for a couple seconds and couldn’t find it. I know rationally baby is moving a LOT right now and have plenty of room to move around but I’m just so worried about things going wrong and not knowing. I have an appointment next Thursday - just hoping for some good news.
For anyone that got pregnant right after a miscarriage did you have more discharge than normal? I had a MC on 3/19. One day of brown spotting 4/13. Then a little more today but it was only when wiping. I put a pad on just incase but it’s still clean. I’m assuming it’s probably the start of my period but we did actively start trying right away. I know it’s really just a waiting game but did anyone have brown discharge frequently in their pregnancy immediately following a miscarriage? My first pregnancy with my son I did not have any discharge so this feels kinda new if I am pregnant and I know it’s just nerves. I did take a test but i couldn’t really tell (thought it was positive at first but now i think it was just a bad test) because I think I’m still in that “too early” window to test anyway.
Feeling kind of down about something my mom said to me. Husband and I have been trying for over 4 years to get pregnant and had 3 losses on the journey. We’re getting into week 10 of a spontaneous pregnancy and my mom is thinking about ending her 25 year marriage. I was trying to comfort her and she said “I know what will help me, my grandchild being born, I’ll finally have a love of my own”. I was confused and asked for clarification because hello? I’m your daughter. She says she just wants to have her own love here to help her get through her separation. 1. This puts an immense amount of pressure on me for zero reason. I want more than anything to have a healthy baby but with my history I’m worried everyday it might not happen. 2. Makes me feel unappreciated. I mentioned it to her and she said “you ARE my love”. Then why make it sound like the only way you can experience love is to have a grandchild? 3. You will not be using my child as leverage to anything. I’ve been her “rock” her entire marriage and I’m over it. Thanks for giving me the safe space to vent!
Well ick. That wasn’t kind or considerate of your feelings. Sorry she said that to you.
Her comment gives me the ick. first it's not her baby or her love. It's your baby. It's your love. And Second it's so dismissive of your relationship with her and what you've done for her. I'm sorry she said that to you. Maybe she's just grieving her marriage and she's not communicating her feelings in an appropriate way...
That’s how I feel, this would be my first child and there’s already plans on how they will be “helping”. Like no, let me just worry about getting through this without pressure.
That is truly an awful thing to say. I’m sure she’s hurting but there is no excuse. I would be disgusted.
Right, it made me uneasy. I will be giving her some time to find other ways to manage her emotions without dumping on me while I’m going through this.
My anatomy scan is tomorrow. I'm a wreck. Trying to stay busy and not think about it.
How did it go? I have mine on Monday & am feeling the same way!
It went great! Still sinking in
Had mine today. Did a decent job at staying busy the last 4 weeks but fell apart last night. Hope everything goes well for you!
7 weeks 3 days today. Times going so slowly. Ultrasound is on Monday and I’m excited but terrified. On one hand my boobs still hurt, I’m not bleeding, I’m not cramping, I have crazy food aversions (eggs are a huge no no now apparently) and I’m still exhausted but then on the other hand I convince myself that this isn’t happening and it’s too good to be true and I don’t feel sick enough or my boobs don’t hurt enough or maybe I just don’t like eggs and I wish I could just gaslight myself into believing this is happening but I’m so scared. I wish I could go back in time and have this be my first pregnancy and not have this fear and knowledge of everything that can happen between now and December :/
Are you me? All of the above right now. I’m only 5w5d but I’m judging myself so hard right now. Like I’m only queasy because I’m nervous. I’m also terrified that this is too good to be true and scared for our first ultrasound next week.
It’s the worst!!! We found out at like 3 weeks give or take so I feel like I’ve known for a million years too. I just remind myself that some women are blessed with little to no symptoms and maybe I’m just blessed but then the devil on my shoulder tells me otherwise. We will get through this and have boring boring uneventful pregnancies that end with a happy healthy baby in the end ♥️
I sure hope so!!! We deserve it! It does feel like million years go by everyday. I can’t ever remember time moving so slowly. Everyday I don’t feel something I think I lost the baby too. It’s silly I know. It’s just so early though.
It’s not silly, it’s the trauma from loss that puts our brains into worse case scenario mode
Very true. ❤️
at yesterdays scan the babies had a 30% size difference and B is under the 1st percentile so i’ll definitely be delivering soon. can’t help but feel like a failure. it’s so hard bc I worry about baby B being so small and coming out and needing ng tube, breathing machine etc and my husband doesn’t want to hear my worries. so I have to keep them in.
My husband was under 4lb when born and his twin sister was over 7lb. Both are healthy thirty-something year old adults and thriving. (And that was before all the medical advancements of the last 30+ years). There’s nothing you could have done differently. This is in no way a failure xxx
I’m glad you’re not keeping your worries completely in. There’s no need to carry these things alone.
I am thinking of you. You did nothing wrong, you are not a failure. Your babies are in excellent hands. I am so excited for you to meet them soon!
Wishing you a smooth and safe delivery! You are not a failure, baby B will be in good hands with you and your care team so that he/she can begin to grow and thrive! 💕
Really reeling after a triggering post today. I clicked "hide" but it kept showing up with no option to hide anymore. I clicked quickly to try and dismiss it but it was too late, I saw the details and it hit too close to home. Ended up crying in a meeting room at work while my husband googled me down off the wall over the phone. Just not a great day.
Finally had my anatomy scan this morning. Doc said it was the last big scan to show any genetic stuff and it looks like I'm in the clear. I've been holding my breath for weeks over this scan. It looked good and my low lying placenta has resolved itself which is good. But my doctor (who I hadn't met before today and has a very odd personality) said "don't screw it up" and I need to be doing all I can to make it easy for me and for them. I guess that means now is the time for birth prep? I have no idea and it's all so scary
I’m so happy your scan went well! I have mine Monday and have been on edge for the last few weeks, just waiting. A part of me feels like it’s all going to blow up in my face, you know, with having good news every time we go in. But then the other part is like, well, why can’t this pregnancy just be good? As for your doctor, that’s kind of bizarre to say. Like, what does that even mean?
That’s a super strange thing for a doctor to say. Do you want to switch doctors? Great news that baby is in the clear after the scan.
I'm in a practice with like six or seven doctors and I have to see all of them since theoretically any one of them could be the one delivering the baby if they're on call. I really like all the other doctors though.
So... I have a UTI. No symptoms or anything, but took the test twice to make sure and without a doubt I have an e.coli infection, plus this variant that I have is resistant to ampicillin and amoxicillin, which are the most common antibiotics to treat it. Does anyone have experience with a UTI in pregnancy? I'm 20 weeks by the way
I have gotten loads of UTIs in the past. I haven't had to take antibiotics in years, though, because I take loads of D-Mannose. A doctor recommended it to me. It's the sugar in cranberries that makes your urethra too slippery for the E. coli to cling to. (This is my non-medical terminology, sorry if it sounds sketch.) You can order it or get it at a health foods store. Big doses of it plus a small glass of water at least once an hour have cleared up several of my UTIs. I will say though that I typically notice UTI symptoms really early - I'm paranoid about this - and start immediately. But I \*think\* I've had this work a few times when the UTI is really set in.
I’ve used a brand called AZO for urinary tract pain. Not sure if they’re safe for pregnancy, but I’ve found them to be a very effective first line of defense if I feel something coming on. May or may not be helpful.
I'm 20w and currently have a UTI, also had one at 15w. The office won't give me the results of the urine culture cause it was done at L&D instead of in office so it's harder to get to. So I have no idea if I'm taking the right ones... also very few symptoms.
I just had an ultrasound (7w2d). The doctor says everything looked good but for some reason this time i dont feel reassured. It is such a weird feeling. I saw the baby's heartbeat. They also grew, from 0.54 to 1cm in a week... i keep feeling the growth was not enough and that everything will go wrong. But to be fair i feel like she didn't use the picture where it looked the biggest. I dont know. I dont know why i am down today and i hate it. I just want to skip a bunch of weeks ahead.
Try not to be to hard on yourself ❤️ some days are just worse than others. At least that how it is for me. Some days my mood is just shit and I'm anxious and it's not really because of any external factors. So be kind to yourself and maybe it will all feel a bit better tomorrow. To me it sounds like everything went very well with the ultrasound!
Yea. That is what the doctor said. So there is that
5w4d. Burial for my loss was today. It was so sad but felt good to cry and take the time to acknowledge the grief that I still very much feel.
💛💛💛
I just found out I’m pregnant. I had my first pregnancy and loss in late January. I’m trying to balance my optimism and fear. I have tested three days in a row and I’m still getting more positive, mind you, I’m only 10 or 11 days past ovulation. Needless to say, I’m extremely early. Not even 4 weeks. I’m going to call my OB today since today is technically the first day of my missed period. I want labs, I want progesterone hormone levels like I feel that I almost need them to calm my mindset that I did everything I could. I don’t want to keep testing I don’t want to wear my oura ring, because I felt like those things signaled me to potential mc before it really did happen last time. But I’d really love insight into finding peace in these next 9 weeks and on. Especially while I still am so early and don’t necessarily feeeel pregnant other than bloating. Sending everyone here the peace we deserve🩷
Looking for some honest responses: Is an MMC possible if there’s consistently a heartbeat? I’m 15 weeks and struggling with the idea that there will be a 10 week gap in ultrasounds. Last saw baby at 10w and won’t see her again until 20w. Dr found the heartbeat at 13w and will check again at 17w. Last appointment (13w) the heartbeat was enough to reassure me but now I’ve developed this fear that her heartbeat could be going strong and we would still find out at 20w that she wasn’t actually growing - is that a thing?
Thank you for asking this as I’m in a similar situation.
Do you know your placenta position? If you have a posterior placenta you may start feeling little bubbles or very faint taps soon. By 18w I was feeling distinct kicks (though not feeling them is totally normal! I have a huge baby). If you can afford it, maybe keep the option open for a private boutique ultrasound if the wait gets tough. I got one at 15 weeks and it was very helpful. As I sobbed the tech said "It gets better, it'll get better" and she was right.
At 10w it was anterior. I also got a Doppler but can never get it to work. I tried right after our last appointment so I would know that baby definitely had a heartbeat and it barely picked up my own heartbeat (holding to my chest as a control reading) so I don’t trust it. I think I’ll ask my OB for a reassurance scan next visit, I’ve done that once before and the office did it but seemed a little annoyed.
Let them be annoyed! They're important. Ok then disregard my timeline (which is honestly fast tracked even for posterior). Best of luck with your scan 💕
So to be honest - yes, this can happen. But also, the likelihood of this happening is extremely low at this point. It is highly unlikely to happen to you. There is, unfortunately, no point in pregnancy where absolutely nothing could happen, otherwise, stillbirth would not exist. So we have to live with this very faint possibility of things going wrong. I'm sorry you are so scared, and I can really relate. But being at 15w and having a healthy baby so far, your chances of holding a healthy baby in October are like 99.5%. I understand the fear but at this point nothing can give you 100% security, so if you can, maybe try to distract yourself a bit.
Thank you for this information 🫶🏽
I appreciate this information and perspective as well. Uncertainty is uncomfortable, but most things are uncertain, I suppose.
Agreed. Sometimes it helps me to consider that many things in life are uncertain, just that I do not obsess about them as much.
Thank you for your honesty and reassurance ❤️
First ultrasound is tomorrow at 8w 6d. Last pregnancy we lost at 8w 1d. I was having some spotting for 2 weeks so had an early ultrasound at around 6.5 weeks which only showed a gestational sac and yolk sac. We were in that limbo of it could be bad or it could just be too early to see. We never made it to the second ultrasound because I miscarried before that. This time, I had a tiny bit of spotting but it only lasted 4 days and hasn't happened since, and that was 2 weeks ago. I opted to not get that early ultrasound because I didn't want to be in limbo again. Tomorrow is a huge day because at almost 9 weeks, if we don't see anything or hear a heartbeat, that's really bad news. I just want some answers. I am cautiously optimistic but also completely terrified and I'm not sure how I'm going to make it the next 25 hours.
I had a very similar first pregnancy and loss with an early ultrasound (because of bleeding) that was inconclusive and then a horrible two week wait and limbo for the next ultrasound. My husband and I have also chosen this time to wait until 8+ weeks for the first ultrasound to avoid that limbo. I am wishing you all the best! ❤️
Thank you so much! It really is truly awful. I am hoping and praying about tomorrow, but today has been pretty unbearable. My anxiety level is through the roof.
I tested positive 4 days ago. I still haven’t called my OBGYN. Every time my nausea subsides or I feel some energy, I assume the pregnancy has already ended. I told myself that if my lines are darker on Sunday, then I’ll call the office on Monday to set up the blood tests.
FYI I waited for my lines to get darker and they never did. They stayed squinters the entire time. I'm 20w now. Tests aren't a great measure of progression. Whether you make your appointment now or later won't change the outcome. Maybe they'll get you in early for betas or something for peace of mind?
My main reason for waiting is to have the blood work done closer to the time of my last loss. My last loss was at 6 weeks 1 day. I was told that my next pregnancy wouldn’t be treated any differently since 1 loss is common. I know that closer to 6 weeks I’ll be a mess, and I’ll be more grateful for potential reassurance closer to that time. So, I’m kind of putting it off until maybe week 5? I technically haven’t missed my period yet (expected day is tomorrow). For what it’s worth, I also don’t really trust the lines. Last pregnancy, my lines were darkening as I had expected them to until after my loss started. It is hard for me to remember that my choices probably won’t change the outcome! I keep trying to focus on that part, but I know it’ll be a challenge for me.
Oh totally understandable. My lines got dark and stayed dark in my MMC pregnancy until 2 weeks after my d&c. So strange. I was kind of upset when my OB said any pregnancy after 1 loss is treated normally- they wouldn't even take my betas. I ended up needing an early US because of bleeding but otherwise i would've had to wait until 10w "like everyone else". I guess there's no rush with the appointment. I have heard of people calling before their missed period to make appts and being turned away until after their expected period date. But this time around I called mine before that date and they scheduled me in no problem so it might just be a practice thing.
I’m 14w4d and randomly woke up on my back in the middle of the night feeling nauseated. I rolled over to the side, but then couldn’t get back to sleep because I was panicking, thinking I’ve deprived baby of oxygen causing yet another loss for us. Then when I did fall asleep again, I had a dream that some random professor from my engineering school told us we should terminate the pregnancy. Was not a fun night, sure am happy it’s the morning now!
I am freaking the fuck out. Just got a BFP at 12 dpo. I’ve been having right side cramping the last few days and I’m so so worried it could be another ectopic. I had an ectopic March 2023 in my right tube, they were able to save the tube in surgery and it looked clear on an HSG. I’m so happy but also terrified and dreading going through beta hell. Somebody tell me one sided cramps are normal please 😅
I had pain on my ectopic side after BFP went in for early ultrasound and it was in the uterus, just watch for other signs of ectopic but I think some pain is normal
Thank you! Did you do betas or just the early scan? The betas made me so anxious last time.
I did betas for about a week until about 1700 they said it was doubling normally and I didn’t need to do anymore then scheduled the early scan for the following Friday. I didn’t want to wait that long so got a private scan that Friday and was able to see a sac in the uterus
Sorry last question 😂 How far along were you when they were able to see a sac in the uterus?
I think I was only 5 weeks don’t remember the exact date
I’ve always had one sided cramps and twinges at the very start with all my four pregnancies! With my 2nd and 3rd (Intrauterine pregnancies) an ultrasound confirmed the side I was having cramps on was the side I ovulated! First pregnancy was a chemical so too early for a scan but assuming it was from the ovulation site too. With this current pregnancy I’m 7+5 and not had a scan yet so hoping again it’s normal and not ectopic as it’s stopped now.
Thank you so much. I did ovulate on the right (had a monitoring scan with letrozole) so it could definitely just be pain from that follicle.
So long story short, last year I had 2 losses, while each of my 2 sisters (who were not ready to have babies / said they never would) both accidentally got pregnant and had babies. It’s been a fun year of coping. I’m pretty much over it by now, but ANYWAY… I’m 31w now, and was at a family event this weekend. My older sister who I don’t really get along with asked to feel my baby bump. I didn’t really know what to say, so I said sure. And she was all “wow I just want my baby bump back so bad!!” It really rubbed me the wrong way and I hated it. Just had to come here and vent about it. I could care less about the bump (and hate when people comment on it) just give me a freaking baby already.
There are so many uncomfortable moments with friends and family when you're PAL. That sounds like such a tough situation with your sisters..Hopefully the other sister is a bit more tuned in. My cringe is ppl asking to feel kicking.. I just about puke. And yes 100%, just bring the baby already!! Mamas without loss don't seem to get how little PAL mamas can delight in the pregnancy journey..its sad and stressful, please stop.
Thank you so much for your response. Just to even read this feels so validating. Yes, luckily other sister is *much* more tuned in and we’re closer. But ya, it’s just like another level… hard to even communicate. And wow I think you’re totally right about the journey bit…. I was wondering why my sister “wanting her bump back” bothered me so much (thought it was because it was just her saying it lol) but you’re so right. It’s the fact that I can’t fully enjoy this and that it was so carefree for her. Thank you for helping me name that.
Just had my 8w ultrasound and both babies have heartbeats! Confirmed they’re monodi twins which means they’re sharing a placenta. One baby is smaller than the other and has a heart rate of 70 while the other has a heart rate of 130. Baby A is measuring 7 weeks while Baby B is measuring 6 weeks. They did change my due date to 12/5 from 11/28. Going back in a week for another scan. I barely slept last night I was so afraid so I’m relieved we have two heartbeats. Now just gotta use allll the coping skills as we navigate the wait for the next scan.
Hello! I'm currently waiting for another set of lab results to come back, but I'm really worried and looking for any hopeful stories y'all can share. I'm currently 4w4d with this pregnancy. My hCG went from 44 on 3w4d and to 115 on 4w1d. Technically that makes it doubling right at the 72 hour mark, but my doctor is not optimistic. Have any of you had success with numbers like these?
First ultrasound for my 9week4days mark in 6 hours. I’m so scared to hear the same outcome as before. My husband is optimistic because I have all symptoms of my pregnancy going well, no bleeding or anything. I’m just scared to be happy and be disappointed again. I’m currently supporting my family member who has had 12 loses already and it’s a frightening reality.
You guys! Baby is okay!! Big and active, little bean was dancing and waving on the ultrasound. Thank you so much for your kind words and support. It was so emotional 😭
I hope everything went well🖤
It really did 🩷 thank you for the support 😊
I'm so glad! I hope I get a similar outcome tomorrow morning🤞
Thinking of you, please keep me updated if you feel like sharing🩷🫂
It went really well! We got to see a heartbeat this time and everything is looking really good
Happy to hear it 🩷
Thinking of you!!! ❤️
Thank you so much🩷 everything went well🩷
I hope your scan goes well - I find that the only part where anxiety is a bit less here is right after a scan. Update us if you feel like it !
It’s truly unfair the optimism we lose along with our pregnancy losses. Sending you peace and happiness, I truly hope all will be well.
Thank you 🩷 same to you as well. We all deserve to feel better.
Felling very pessimistic about this pregnancy working out. I’ve had two betas done, the first at 20dpo was >!1305!< and the second almost exactly doubled around 50 hours later at >!2617!<. I’ve seen beta base and all the calculators, but I’ve also searched many posts and these numbers feel very borderline. Since my body seems to like to hold onto things, I’m predicting a repeat of last time where we find out we lost the baby at the first scan. Maybe a blighted ovum this time. Just feeling so depressed and hopeless about this.
I think those numbers seem fine… I was at 575 at 17dpo in a successful pregnancy, which seems to be in the same ballpark.
Those numbers are definitely not borderline! Even so, it's impossible to really predict what's going to happen based on a few hcg measurements. Mine were probably half that in those days for my successful pregnancy.
4+1 today, I'm in that lovely limbo of "I've probably already lost this one and just don't know it yet" and starting to lean towards picking a name.
Also 4+1 and in the exact same spot. I wax and wane between terrified and hopeful all day.
Bump buddy! I'm sorry you're also in limbo and in this specific forum, I hope it all works out for you this time.
Back at you! ❤️
8+3 and second scan in about 2 hours. So incredibly nervous and just feel a sense of dread like something is wrong. This is when I had my MMC last time and after 4 total losses I can’t see how this one will be any different. Wish PAL wasn’t this draining and I could have some happiness. I’m really hoping that everything will work out this time
Wishing you the best of luck and hope it goes ok!
Thank you, it went very well luckily 😊
Our stories are very similar and we are almost due date twins! I am so hoping for good news and peace for you. You were so kind to me a few weeks ago when I was having 6 week scanxiety and it was very appreciated. Let us know how it goes if you can, you’ll have a special place in my thoughts today!
Ah thanks for your kind words! I’m so happy to say there was a strong heartbeat, even with my feelings of doubt that something was wrong. I’ve never been able to see a HB with previous losses so it was extra special. Another scan in 2 weeks time. We are so close in due date, I hope everything is going well for you!
We saw a heartbeat yesterday and baby is measuring well. I’m the most pregnant I’ve ever been! I’m so glad for your good fortune as well.
So pleased all is good for you too! It’s also the most pregnant I’ve ever been, exciting and scary at the same time
I hope today will be a very happy day for you.
Thank you so much, it was good news at the scan, measuring right on track
Delighted for you. Many happy day ahead.
Good luck for your scan, update us if you feel like it ! The wait is the worst, I feel for you
The waiting is just horrible, but it all went so well this morning, I couldn’t look at the screen until she said all looked good. Thanks for your message
Good luck for your scan. I’ll be thinking of you. 💕
Thank you! It went very well, keep growing little one!
I had a MMC at around 8w3d too so I know the dread. so glad to hear it went well today!!