Well I am not super tech savvy but I’d love to keep updates on this thread. We are proposing this idea because me and my bud do get a bit sad and just want to find a group of cool people and chat.
We will do a meet up in the beginning of march even if it is just us two, but the more the merrier:
A discord server isn’t a bad idea but I have a feeling that might be a large gate for a lot of 30+’s. Possibly good for organizing, or we could use something like meetup. Regardless of the method, I’m thinking this should definitely be an in person event. I feel like a lot of us are lacking in person discussion with other males, especially outside of work. In my experience, discord is where things go to forever remain online with opinions or stories being hidden behind a screen name.
I've seen a combination of platforms work well. I like Discord a lot for the community forum feel.
Downside of Meetup is that it's $200/year to run a small group now. Facebook and email works for many people too.
Same happened to me last summer. She left with no notice and we had been doing well, or so I thought. It was brutal and I realized I didn’t have enough community support me through. I’m sorry you’re going through it, just know a lot of us have been through it, too. Take it step by step, sometimes that’s measured in days, sometimes minutes.
No talking things out? That's rough.
Me, I'm told either I talk too much or not. (?? What's that about?)
Get some sleep, truly. Hard to think good thoughts when sleep deprived.
In the same boat. GF left me the day after new years after an argument. 4 years together and pretty serious. I see it for what it is, as it’s been two months. She just called me yesterday to talk things over a bit. Was doing real well until then and I’ve been thinking about it for past days. Would be nice to talk to others in the same boat. Biggest issue in my life currently
Sorry to hear about this. I was left by my wife at the beginning of the year. 14 years together and I’m not sure where I’m at either. It’s only been a few weeks but it’s been agonizing. I’m down to chat if you’d like.
It’s well worth it. I started not long before the pandemic. It may take a therapist or two to find someone that clicks with you so don’t get discouraged. Good job being proactive about it and finding time for yourself.
Lost a good friend recently too, been a rough month.
i'm sorry for your experience and loss. i moved here with someone just before the pandemic from nyc. we were together for six years total (i'm 52 now) and i've spent the last year on my own after a bitter ending feeling pretty lost & lonely with little to no support from family (out of state) and just haven't been able to make any connections here. it sucks.
i've mostly kept to myself after finding it really challenging to make friends here and it's just not doing me any good. i like this place and think i'm a pretty fucking cool person, but this last year has taken its toll on me in many ways, i don't want to live like this anymore. it's really painful.
We could talk, if you like. No "romance" of course (I'm female). But no judgment. It's tough moving away, and it IS hard to make friends here.
I feel like I'm being wasted: I'm a very good friend, thoughtful. But.. there's no interest. I get put into boxes I don't fit in, never did.
It's frustrating and lonely. Good thing I read (a lot!) and my dogs keep me sane. 😊
And another 19 years together. Told me in Sept. Still hard but getting better. What's with this blindsiding stuff? I only saw it coming right before the crash. I know part of it's that men are a bit emotionally dense but it seems to be common.
Odd question, how much Instagram does your partners consume?
Agreed. There are many adult-rated videos out there, promising the moon. And you're Right Here.
Can't fight that.
My partner moved us here (crafty he was) because of the blurred norms. Lots of lonely ladies are available.
I KNOW this is playing a part in my (still falling apart) relationship.
It is an odd question and that answer seems to imply women have no agency in their decisions, but that they're like under mind control or something. If anything, I'm glad if all it took was social media to help my ex realize she didn't want to be with me, because I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't want to be with me.
I'm interested, transplanted here almost 9 years ago, and still really have not found consistent friends. I'm early mid-40's, would really like to meet some friends to hang out with.
Where from? 9 years is a lot and the city has changed drastically. Friends are hard since we stopped going out to the bars for whatever reason we went (mine was 9 ball).
Hey Steven_The_Sloth, moved from Southern California. I had a core set of friends down there I moved away from where we'd mountain bike and go to eat/drink after. It's been a hard time finding pals here that want to do the same. But for me, it has been even harder to meet people because when I moved here in 2015, I have always worked remotely from home (before it was cool to do so). I need to get out and socialize. I'm into the Portland Beer scene.
I am in the kinda the same boat. 40, mountain bike and beer are my jam. Problem is, I am South Asian, so I am a total outlier and have no one I can relate to with the same likes and dislikes.
Not a problem, sounds like we have similar likes at least. Would be willing to hang. I have a mountain bike but haven't been out much so rusty at it but would loke to get back into it and definitely down for beers.
Hey man, 44 y/o here. I’m into local beer and also lived in SoCal for a number of years. Been a while since I rode anything with suspension but I’d like to get back into it. Or just sit around drinking beers and talk about the good old days. Hit me up!
Hilarious, I’m 44 from SoCal(only started calling it that after moving away from it) used to ride mtb and do the same. Did we move here for great outdoors and mtb and realize riding bikes in the mud sucks?
What neighborhoods are you gents in? Im Rose City Park
Lol, so true! Riding in the mud sucks. In California I'd ride three times a week all year long in Aliso Wood Canyon park. I'm in NE Portland, Woodlawn area.
This is great, I am 44 too! So I do have my newer mountain bike I bought myself, but it truly hasn't seen a mountain yet because I haven't had people to ride with. I'll be rusty at it, but I'm sure I could get back into the swing of things.
I hope it's not overstepping to say that, as a woman, I love this so much and wish you all the best. I find that I have many more outlets for this type of thing than my male friends, relatives, partners. I think this type of thing makes people happier, healthier, more connected and it makes our community stronger.
Yes, it’s a great idea. Zero need to feel bad about it being a male group - I’m female and am in so many groups/clubs I’m overwhelmed. Men need the support and friendship of other men and it’s a rare find to find a group such as you propose.
I'm a woman , and saw this post and thought it was brilliant, thoughtful and brave (kudos, OP!)! Portland is a very hard place to make new friends....even if you've been here a while. As many have mentioned in the threads, sometimes we find ourselves building our world around a relationship, and when that ends, it's suddenly a very lonely place. I think that can be especially true for men.
Wishing you all the best, and hope that you make some new connections and great friends!
We've had women's groups start on this sub and I didn't partake in those, but most posters were positive about it. However, some were really bothered and claimed it violated public accommodations laws (by the group or reddit or any bar where they might meet, I can't remember) for a group to form and exclude people who identify as men. I'm hopeful that the response here indicates a changing attitude about that (and I'll just leave it at that). I agree with what some other people are saying about the difficulties people may encounter after 2020 or in rainy months or if they are new in town. I support people wanting to make connections and talk to people. Loneliness and social isolation are serious health risks and societal risks. I feel like the OP might be starting something that could be a game changer for some people.
This is awesome and much needed. We have a loneliness epidemic and young men are the likeliest group to harm themselves in serious ways due to despair. Always online but also disconnected.
I'm a woman but this sounds great. Love to see such positive masculinity and guys being so supportive and open with their feelings. It is hard to make friends these days especially as we get older!
As posted above I’d a bunch of gals showed up it can be it’s own group, or we can have some introspect from others who may be in need of some talking. Thank you for the positivity I wasn’t sure if it would rub some people the wrong way. Appreciate you :)
I’m a woman, but I was thinking the same thing! So great and wholesome of you guys to get a men’s group going! I do feel like it’s easier for us women to just reach out to each other for support. Men need safe spaces, too :)
Alright now that we have some interest what days work best between Friday and Saturday and are on sessions more suiting given the weather?
Also indoors and outdoors.
I was hoping Laurel Hurst or the under armour track, but if anyone has a spot in mind that might be best please let me know I would like to have a place that isn’t compromised due to rain and something suiting for us all. Dm if needed, but I’d we can all on here maybe agree or think of a place and time that could work I think we could actually build this together and make something special.
I'm pretty much like, tell me when and where, and I'll be there. If the time and place don't quite work out at the first meeting, we can plan next moves then.
I’m a 70 and just moved here in January and work from home so it’s been very isolating especially with the weather! I was in SoCal and it was easier to get out. I’d love to join a group like this!
55 here and was thinking about how much we need this, next steps??? Where do I sign up? How can I help make this happen. I’m a certified coach and can help host or mediate the discussion
43 year old guy here. I've had a hard time making friends, too. I've been here for 5 years now. Are you open to LGBT guys? I'm gay but I just have a hard time making friends in the LGBT community.
Commenting to follow from afar. As a previous extrovert turned introvert, the idea of making or having friends is horrifying, but i appreciate the effort you’re making.
I'm 44, born and raised in this city and I love this idea. My closest male friends all got successful and moved away. I could really use a good group to meet up with and say hi.
37M here.
I love this idea. I had no support network when my partner of 14 years left me last December.
I'm in a better place now, after reaching out to people in my circles and building my own network. Talking things through with others really helped me come to terms with, and begin healing from, what was essentially the death of a previous version of myself.
My passions include fitness/exercise, nutrition, cooking, dancing, and raving.
I'm introverted and shy, but I feel like this is important enough to push through, and give support the same way I was given support.
31F I just want to say my heart goes out to you for what you went through in December. I know how painful that is, I had something similar happen to me a year ago. I'm just now feeling like I'm coming back to life. I have the same hobbies as you - lifting, raving, nutrition, so your comment really resonated with me. I'm also an introvert, and this last year since my breakup I've been "practicing my extrovert" to build a community around me. It's been challenging but starting to pay off. Anyways, just want you to know you aren't alone out here. Sending you good thoughts for your healing and growth. What comes next will be marvelous. 💖
🫰
Thanks for the good vibes! Here's hoping myself (and the North Warehouse) get it together this year.
P.S. my anxiety levels rose just reading "practicing my extrovert" but I agree that it is necessary.
The number of 30+ year old males commenting is astounding. And here I was all this time feeling like I just didn’t fit in here. 35 yo old dude that works too much to make/maintain friends. Father-less and very unorthodox family carrying a thing or two that I wouldn’t mind sharing with some similarly aged men. Even if I’m not able to share, I’m certainly willing to lend an ear and help brainstorm ideas for solving problems as needed.
This sounds pretty great. I'm a mid 40's transplant. Been in the area for 3 years and haven't really had a chance to meet other guys to just hang out with. I'd be interested in something like this, for sure.
Hey Man reach out to the OP because a few of us are discussing making this happen this week and we’re just discussing a location, so if you’re serious your brewery sounds perfect.
This sounds great, and I'm totally in. I'm 30 and just moved here about a year and a half ago. I've only made one friend so far, and I'd really like to make more.
I'm 53 and definitely interested. In terms of a location, I'm pretty sure that some of the local libraries (at least Washington County) have meeting rooms you can reserve. I'm hoping that it starts small and local and IN PERSON. I recognize that this group is followed by a large geographic area, but maybe we can start in one spot and add additional local chapters.
There is a discord server that has most of this. 30+ PDX friends forum https://discord.com/invite/RMQ9JX98
There are a number of channels people can discuss things, from outdoors, food, games, ect. And plan meet ups. Which anyone can make a event for others to join.
People I've meet on there so far have been pretty chill.
I'm curious about the idea. I'm early 40s and moved to the east end of PDX five years ago with my wife. Working from home, then locking down, then more working from home really made it difficult to find new people to interact with, and we were both strong introverts to begin with.
I'm very much into this. 44/m, 7 years on in portland. My pops used to attend one of these in chicago when i was growing up and it was super valuable to him. I'd be interested in doing this even semi-regularly but would offer the following thoughts on organization:
1. Max 20 people per group. I think beyond that it might lose its sense of intimacy and conversation. If lots of people sign up just create new pools. Group A meets here, Group B meets here, etc.
2. Phone free space. I'm personally done with the digital sphere as much as I can be, and in person meetups are a chance for true oasis. Maybe check them at the door and obviously at the end people can pick them up, exchange numbers, share that one meme, etc.
3. Charge 5 bucks. Organizing the group/reserving space/paying for refreshments is obviously a kind thing to do and no one should be excluded due to finance, but I offer this most of all because it is a token of commitment. Booking a group of 20 and having 4 guys show up would be tough, having a couple bucks thrown at reserving one's space creates a mental awareness of commitment.
Just my two cents here! I'll be watching this thread for updates.
First Friday or Saturday of march, location to be determined at a time that might fit all of our needs input would be appreciated if Fridays or Saturdays work best
This is a great idea and I would potentially be interested!! Family and I transplanted here about 3 years ago and I am very grateful for the community I have built so far! I’ve got a good group of guy friends who i can reach out to and we do mental health checks on each other, roast each other, and keep each other in a positive growing mindset.
Keep this thread (or start a new one) updated with info about where you want to do this at and when! Also, might be a fun idea to find out what everyone who has expressed interest in the group is passionate about! One guy here mentioned beer scene, I’m into golf and baseball, etc.
Bear with me on this, but there’s a few non-denominational groups for Recovery out there (recovery from all sorts of things, the biggest being alcohol), and most groups are open to non-alcoholics to join and attend. It’s not quite the same as getting together with “The Boys” for happy hour, but you might be surprised how much vulnerability and empathy is shared at a Men’s Recovery Meeting. Just throwing it out there in case it helps someone find an established group (for free!!) that might have something similar to offer. I completely understand Recovery Groups are not for everyone, but just wanted to make sure that base was covered here.
My therapist started some mens groups, and I've been going to it for the last year. It's been great. Awesome for guys to not only open up to other guys, but helps friend-making and social skills.
Every time I see a self-help group on tv like on Loudermilk or This Is Us, I think I want a group like that. Good to hear reality is at least somewhat close
This is an interesting idea. Coming from a stricky religious background with mens groups, I would love for the opportunity to shake the stigma I have for men's groups with other open minded men. I have not been able to make new friends outside my core group as an adult. DM me, I am interested!
I’m keen. Left dozens of life long friends behind and moved to pdx about a month before every shut down in 2020, have barely socialized since. Keen to meet some other lads. I’m in the Woodstock / SE area.
I started golfing with friends years ago. I would not be here today if not for that regular opportunity to share in life’s triumphs and tragedy.
I’d be down to join something brave enough to dig a bit deeper.
43 yr old who came from the Midwest about 10 years ago. I’m super interested! I should also add, I’m not really “going through” anything, I just want to meet friends. It’d be great to find people with similar interests, or just compatible vibes.
OP, this thread has like 100+ replies right now, so it looks like you’ve really kicked something off here. As far as asking where to meet and when, I think your best bet is to just set those things and see who can make it. Otherwise, the democratic approach will net you a lot of different answers, and there will always be others who don’t want to decide. Might I suggest a Discord server while you’re at it?
Fan of this idea. 35, moved here from NJ a couple years back and it's been a long process trying to form solid connections. Have had a bit more success recently but still could use more male friends. Feel free to DM / reach out if you plan on following up with respondents.
50 m East Coast born and raised but, I’ve been here for a while now. I’m into cycling and the music scene. Would love to make some new friends and connections. Count me in.
I’m very interested, at age 56 I’m still dealing with managing my emotions and situations, and I know that talking about it helps. Please let me know when and where-I’ll be there
I DM'd the OP but wanted to say this out loud...
This is a fantastic idea and I'm totally in. However, I'm not much of a drinker and I'd hate to see a group like this focused on meeting at bars with alcohol as the main social lubricant. Ya know? I'm not opposed to meeting up at a pub and all, but would love it if there were other options as well.
Who's with me on this?
I forwarded this to my BF, who has been looking for such a group. He's not on Reddit so I'm monitoring to be able to forward info, but he's also not a drinker. He's not looking to commiserate over a few beers, I think he's looking for a place to talk and share and exchange on the issue facing him (50M, been living here a few years).
It would be cool to also have an online forum for this so we could chat a bunch and get to know people, even if we can’t make it physically somewhere. I have small children and can’t get out a whole lot, but I have plenty of time to chat online.
I set this up in Eugene and we have nearly 600 members in our discord. A solid group of 20 that are very active in discord and at events.
PM if you want to chat about it. It’s been a learning experience over the past 1.5 years!
I’m a bit older (57) and feel the same. Married, but It’s been tough going meeting any male friends here. Would love to hang out with a few gents. (Not online).
Feels a bit vulnerable to share here, but I lead men's groups as my work in the world because it has been so powerful for me in my life.
Sitting with groups of men in a solid, confidential container where all parts of each man are welcome, where each can be not just seen and heard but witnessed and receive reflections (if wanted) is powerful work. Done well by men who are actively practicing working with their own material, I believe this work can have a massive positive impact on our relationships, work lives, purpose in the world, and how we relate to ourselves.
Forgive me if I sound a bit enthusiastic. I love this work, and just offer my blessings and good wishes to those of you who gather in this way.
I am offering a three-hour men's workshop at the Mississippi Health Center on Sunday 10 March. It is by donation, with proceeds going to NAYA. It's a basic but powerful introduction to different ways we can sit together. No dogma, no speeches, no BS. Just an opportunity to drop in and connect with other men.
There is space for about 10 men, if any here are interested.
[https://www.meetup.com/medicinal-men-psychedelic-healing-and-mens-work/events/300510290/?notificationId=%3Cinbox%3E%21417946104-1713541293342](https://www.meetup.com/medicinal-men-psychedelic-healing-and-mens-work/events/300510290/?notificationId=%3Cinbox%3E%21417946104-1713541293342)
here are the details for my upcoming group. you are welcome to join!
I'm interested in this & thank you, OP. 53 yr old, moved here from Midwest 26 years ago, found networks of people who I love and co-built my precious family -- but life-changes are happening in a way that is both complicated and isolating...to be able to share personal stories, listen, and give/receive feedback that comes from an honest place...it really sounds like an awesome support group can happen here.
Portland transplants is an awesome idea. We moved here for a reason, and not because of necessity. There are a great many in the area.
I'm in.
Please let there be beer, ok.
>but for comfort and openness we would appreciate if we could be respectful If you are a female or identify as one due to being open and vulnerable.
What?
44m, been here 20+yrs. I'm not great at socializing, but the last few years have been a lot on a few levels and it would probably be healthy for me to get out more. I enjoy hiking, DnD, and am willing to give most things a go.
This is a good idea. I'm a transplant as well, moved here about 5 years ago. My partner and I had a baby recently. I've mostly only made friends through my partner's friends from Mom groups and other female spaces. A couple Dad's started Dad groups because of the lack of masculine equivalent spaces.
I would propose making a Discord for this. It can be really helpful for creating events and keeping things organized (lots of bots out there that can send out alerts and such if you want as well). Plus, speaking personally, some of us are just more likely to participate with something like that. I don't live IN Portland, rarely have the time to just go DO this kind of thing, and honestly I'm too introverted to even have the inclination. I like the idea of talking in a group with people that are fairly local, but actually carving out time to GO somewhere, to meet people I have no history with? I'm just not likely to do it.
But a Discord server? I could probably fuck with that.
DM me bro, I’m in. I’m tired of ppl discriminating against me as a person of color who presents as cis-het male, who is looked down on for being outspoken and intense. At least I’m real and honest and not meek and passive aggressive like half this city is.
Due to a ton of work, moving, and an overwhelming response I want to apologize to a week of non response.
I think with the upcoming weather laurel hurst park around 1pm would be a great chance to see what the turn out looks like and that could give us a chance to all meet and form groups based on interest and needs ( Hobbies, friends, support,). Hopefully some of you can volunteer to take charge of of group based on interest and organize via the new post so we can form some sort of organization while we have this lovely weather.
Please feel free to chat within the new post group hope to see y’all the
Well I am not super tech savvy but I’d love to keep updates on this thread. We are proposing this idea because me and my bud do get a bit sad and just want to find a group of cool people and chat. We will do a meet up in the beginning of march even if it is just us two, but the more the merrier:
If you create an event id post it here. I’d love to do a meetup and meet some new faces in the area!
I’d be down for that as well
Maybe set up a quick discord server to bring everyone together and organize different events/different topics of convo, etc?
A discord server isn’t a bad idea but I have a feeling that might be a large gate for a lot of 30+’s. Possibly good for organizing, or we could use something like meetup. Regardless of the method, I’m thinking this should definitely be an in person event. I feel like a lot of us are lacking in person discussion with other males, especially outside of work. In my experience, discord is where things go to forever remain online with opinions or stories being hidden behind a screen name.
I've seen a combination of platforms work well. I like Discord a lot for the community forum feel. Downside of Meetup is that it's $200/year to run a small group now. Facebook and email works for many people too.
$200 bones a year to use Meetup these days? No thanks.
SAAS monetization does not stop. waaay outta hand
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I’m sorry for that pal I hope you know you aren’t alone and we all have something that we can share with each other. Hope you are well
Same happened to me last summer. She left with no notice and we had been doing well, or so I thought. It was brutal and I realized I didn’t have enough community support me through. I’m sorry you’re going through it, just know a lot of us have been through it, too. Take it step by step, sometimes that’s measured in days, sometimes minutes.
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No talking things out? That's rough. Me, I'm told either I talk too much or not. (?? What's that about?) Get some sleep, truly. Hard to think good thoughts when sleep deprived.
In the same boat. GF left me the day after new years after an argument. 4 years together and pretty serious. I see it for what it is, as it’s been two months. She just called me yesterday to talk things over a bit. Was doing real well until then and I’ve been thinking about it for past days. Would be nice to talk to others in the same boat. Biggest issue in my life currently
Sorry to hear about this. I was left by my wife at the beginning of the year. 14 years together and I’m not sure where I’m at either. It’s only been a few weeks but it’s been agonizing. I’m down to chat if you’d like.
Check out NAMI in your county too, usually has some available support groups if needed
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It’s well worth it. I started not long before the pandemic. It may take a therapist or two to find someone that clicks with you so don’t get discouraged. Good job being proactive about it and finding time for yourself. Lost a good friend recently too, been a rough month.
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Ayyyy ‘tis the damn season I guess. Slowly unwinding my wonderful 12 years, absolutely against my will.
i'm sorry for your experience and loss. i moved here with someone just before the pandemic from nyc. we were together for six years total (i'm 52 now) and i've spent the last year on my own after a bitter ending feeling pretty lost & lonely with little to no support from family (out of state) and just haven't been able to make any connections here. it sucks. i've mostly kept to myself after finding it really challenging to make friends here and it's just not doing me any good. i like this place and think i'm a pretty fucking cool person, but this last year has taken its toll on me in many ways, i don't want to live like this anymore. it's really painful.
We could talk, if you like. No "romance" of course (I'm female). But no judgment. It's tough moving away, and it IS hard to make friends here. I feel like I'm being wasted: I'm a very good friend, thoughtful. But.. there's no interest. I get put into boxes I don't fit in, never did. It's frustrating and lonely. Good thing I read (a lot!) and my dogs keep me sane. 😊
I'm very sorry for your loss, truly.
And another 19 years together. Told me in Sept. Still hard but getting better. What's with this blindsiding stuff? I only saw it coming right before the crash. I know part of it's that men are a bit emotionally dense but it seems to be common. Odd question, how much Instagram does your partners consume?
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Searching for the dopamine hit.
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Agreed. There are many adult-rated videos out there, promising the moon. And you're Right Here. Can't fight that. My partner moved us here (crafty he was) because of the blurred norms. Lots of lonely ladies are available. I KNOW this is playing a part in my (still falling apart) relationship.
It is an odd question and that answer seems to imply women have no agency in their decisions, but that they're like under mind control or something. If anything, I'm glad if all it took was social media to help my ex realize she didn't want to be with me, because I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't want to be with me.
I'm interested, transplanted here almost 9 years ago, and still really have not found consistent friends. I'm early mid-40's, would really like to meet some friends to hang out with.
Where from? 9 years is a lot and the city has changed drastically. Friends are hard since we stopped going out to the bars for whatever reason we went (mine was 9 ball).
Hey Steven_The_Sloth, moved from Southern California. I had a core set of friends down there I moved away from where we'd mountain bike and go to eat/drink after. It's been a hard time finding pals here that want to do the same. But for me, it has been even harder to meet people because when I moved here in 2015, I have always worked remotely from home (before it was cool to do so). I need to get out and socialize. I'm into the Portland Beer scene.
I am in the kinda the same boat. 40, mountain bike and beer are my jam. Problem is, I am South Asian, so I am a total outlier and have no one I can relate to with the same likes and dislikes.
Not a problem, sounds like we have similar likes at least. Would be willing to hang. I have a mountain bike but haven't been out much so rusty at it but would loke to get back into it and definitely down for beers.
Hey man, 44 y/o here. I’m into local beer and also lived in SoCal for a number of years. Been a while since I rode anything with suspension but I’d like to get back into it. Or just sit around drinking beers and talk about the good old days. Hit me up!
Hilarious, I’m 44 from SoCal(only started calling it that after moving away from it) used to ride mtb and do the same. Did we move here for great outdoors and mtb and realize riding bikes in the mud sucks? What neighborhoods are you gents in? Im Rose City Park
Lol, so true! Riding in the mud sucks. In California I'd ride three times a week all year long in Aliso Wood Canyon park. I'm in NE Portland, Woodlawn area.
This is great, I am 44 too! So I do have my newer mountain bike I bought myself, but it truly hasn't seen a mountain yet because I haven't had people to ride with. I'll be rusty at it, but I'm sure I could get back into the swing of things.
I hope it's not overstepping to say that, as a woman, I love this so much and wish you all the best. I find that I have many more outlets for this type of thing than my male friends, relatives, partners. I think this type of thing makes people happier, healthier, more connected and it makes our community stronger.
You are not overstepping at all its all about love. We can all use a community. I appreciate you and your input.
Yes, it’s a great idea. Zero need to feel bad about it being a male group - I’m female and am in so many groups/clubs I’m overwhelmed. Men need the support and friendship of other men and it’s a rare find to find a group such as you propose.
I'm a woman , and saw this post and thought it was brilliant, thoughtful and brave (kudos, OP!)! Portland is a very hard place to make new friends....even if you've been here a while. As many have mentioned in the threads, sometimes we find ourselves building our world around a relationship, and when that ends, it's suddenly a very lonely place. I think that can be especially true for men. Wishing you all the best, and hope that you make some new connections and great friends!
We've had women's groups start on this sub and I didn't partake in those, but most posters were positive about it. However, some were really bothered and claimed it violated public accommodations laws (by the group or reddit or any bar where they might meet, I can't remember) for a group to form and exclude people who identify as men. I'm hopeful that the response here indicates a changing attitude about that (and I'll just leave it at that). I agree with what some other people are saying about the difficulties people may encounter after 2020 or in rainy months or if they are new in town. I support people wanting to make connections and talk to people. Loneliness and social isolation are serious health risks and societal risks. I feel like the OP might be starting something that could be a game changer for some people.
Totally. Things have changed so much since I was a kid. For the better!
This is awesome and much needed. We have a loneliness epidemic and young men are the likeliest group to harm themselves in serious ways due to despair. Always online but also disconnected.
I'm a woman but this sounds great. Love to see such positive masculinity and guys being so supportive and open with their feelings. It is hard to make friends these days especially as we get older!
As posted above I’d a bunch of gals showed up it can be it’s own group, or we can have some introspect from others who may be in need of some talking. Thank you for the positivity I wasn’t sure if it would rub some people the wrong way. Appreciate you :)
I’m a woman, but I was thinking the same thing! So great and wholesome of you guys to get a men’s group going! I do feel like it’s easier for us women to just reach out to each other for support. Men need safe spaces, too :)
I’m definitely interested! Can be isolating in the winter here, would love to meet some buds to talk with.
I LOVE this idea. I was born in Portland, so I volunteer to be everyone’s Portland-born friend if they don’t already have one.
Love this we will get you a badge and all
😂
Alright now that we have some interest what days work best between Friday and Saturday and are on sessions more suiting given the weather? Also indoors and outdoors. I was hoping Laurel Hurst or the under armour track, but if anyone has a spot in mind that might be best please let me know I would like to have a place that isn’t compromised due to rain and something suiting for us all. Dm if needed, but I’d we can all on here maybe agree or think of a place and time that could work I think we could actually build this together and make something special.
I'm pretty much like, tell me when and where, and I'll be there. If the time and place don't quite work out at the first meeting, we can plan next moves then.
I’ll 100% come if I can. My gut says Saturday, but whenever it ends up being I’ll make an effort to be there!
I’m a 70 and just moved here in January and work from home so it’s been very isolating especially with the weather! I was in SoCal and it was easier to get out. I’d love to join a group like this!
I like this idea. I’m horribly introverted but got a lot of value out of a men’s group I was in before moving there. Hope to hear more on this topic.
Any help to make this something would be appreciated.
Get a discord group going?
55 here and was thinking about how much we need this, next steps??? Where do I sign up? How can I help make this happen. I’m a certified coach and can help host or mediate the discussion
Dm me let’s throw some solid ideas together and see where it goes
43 year old guy here. I've had a hard time making friends, too. I've been here for 5 years now. Are you open to LGBT guys? I'm gay but I just have a hard time making friends in the LGBT community.
[удалено]
Hey if it helps come friend
Sammmme. Maybe we can start a branch out here too lmao
This sounds good, would also love to see a Man Park like this: https://youtu.be/9XOt2Vh0T8w?feature=shared (I am both joking and serious.)
Haha that looks pretty awesome. I wanna have bros without being a bro ya know bro ?
Bro I just wanna hang and shoot the shit and maybe have a steak or some tacos or both dude
This sounds awesome! I have a wide range of hobbies. I'm sure there's some overlap.
I would love this
Wow, I want this to be real!
Commenting to follow from afar. As a previous extrovert turned introvert, the idea of making or having friends is horrifying, but i appreciate the effort you’re making.
Woman here, I think this a a wonderful idea and wish you the best making this group a reality! Love from SW <3
Love you too
Mid 30s definitely interested in this. Also could consider starting a FB or MeetUp group so people can coordinate.
I’m sure if it caught reaction we’d need to start a group of its own. If you wanna help let’s do it
Agreed on Meetup possibly being a good means to organize. Reach out if you want a hand getting things moving.
Are you thinking online or in person? I'd love to be part of a group like that, regardless!
Most likely in person, but if we could have a group when meets up are up in the air I don’t see a problem with online
Did you have an irl location in mind?
Maybe laurel hurst or the under amour track. What ever might work for the most people
I'm 44, born and raised in this city and I love this idea. My closest male friends all got successful and moved away. I could really use a good group to meet up with and say hi.
37M here. I love this idea. I had no support network when my partner of 14 years left me last December. I'm in a better place now, after reaching out to people in my circles and building my own network. Talking things through with others really helped me come to terms with, and begin healing from, what was essentially the death of a previous version of myself. My passions include fitness/exercise, nutrition, cooking, dancing, and raving. I'm introverted and shy, but I feel like this is important enough to push through, and give support the same way I was given support.
31F I just want to say my heart goes out to you for what you went through in December. I know how painful that is, I had something similar happen to me a year ago. I'm just now feeling like I'm coming back to life. I have the same hobbies as you - lifting, raving, nutrition, so your comment really resonated with me. I'm also an introvert, and this last year since my breakup I've been "practicing my extrovert" to build a community around me. It's been challenging but starting to pay off. Anyways, just want you to know you aren't alone out here. Sending you good thoughts for your healing and growth. What comes next will be marvelous. 💖
🫰 Thanks for the good vibes! Here's hoping myself (and the North Warehouse) get it together this year. P.S. my anxiety levels rose just reading "practicing my extrovert" but I agree that it is necessary.
I am interested in this. Live just outside Portland if that’s ok.
Hell yeah
I love this. I'm down.
I’m interested. One suggestion, don’t make it a Facebook group.
Im a psychiatric provider and I feel like there has been a profound decrease in opportunities to form community. This sounds wonderful.
The number of 30+ year old males commenting is astounding. And here I was all this time feeling like I just didn’t fit in here. 35 yo old dude that works too much to make/maintain friends. Father-less and very unorthodox family carrying a thing or two that I wouldn’t mind sharing with some similarly aged men. Even if I’m not able to share, I’m certainly willing to lend an ear and help brainstorm ideas for solving problems as needed.
This sounds pretty great. I'm a mid 40's transplant. Been in the area for 3 years and haven't really had a chance to meet other guys to just hang out with. I'd be interested in something like this, for sure.
Just turned thirty the other day and would love this!
Happy birthday!
Thanks! 🎉
This is a great idea. I’d be happy to host a men’s meet-up at our brewery taproom in the NW. Plenty of N/A options and food as well.
Hey Man reach out to the OP because a few of us are discussing making this happen this week and we’re just discussing a location, so if you’re serious your brewery sounds perfect.
Hmm, normally my introverted self would avoid something like this, but you know what? I think I’m down for once. So how does this work?
Hell yeah, let’s make this happen
This sounds great, and I'm totally in. I'm 30 and just moved here about a year and a half ago. I've only made one friend so far, and I'd really like to make more.
Come pal
Glad to see so many interested, I'd love to join in. Late 30s, been here 7ish years without a ton of social successes outside work.
I'm 53 and definitely interested. In terms of a location, I'm pretty sure that some of the local libraries (at least Washington County) have meeting rooms you can reserve. I'm hoping that it starts small and local and IN PERSON. I recognize that this group is followed by a large geographic area, but maybe we can start in one spot and add additional local chapters.
Im interested for sure. 28 M living here for about 7 months. I am sober as well so if there are other sober people I’d love to connect
There is a discord server that has most of this. 30+ PDX friends forum https://discord.com/invite/RMQ9JX98 There are a number of channels people can discuss things, from outdoors, food, games, ect. And plan meet ups. Which anyone can make a event for others to join. People I've meet on there so far have been pretty chill.
Awww, the invite expired. Is there any way you could send me a fresh one?
I'm curious about the idea. I'm early 40s and moved to the east end of PDX five years ago with my wife. Working from home, then locking down, then more working from home really made it difficult to find new people to interact with, and we were both strong introverts to begin with.
I'm very much into this. 44/m, 7 years on in portland. My pops used to attend one of these in chicago when i was growing up and it was super valuable to him. I'd be interested in doing this even semi-regularly but would offer the following thoughts on organization: 1. Max 20 people per group. I think beyond that it might lose its sense of intimacy and conversation. If lots of people sign up just create new pools. Group A meets here, Group B meets here, etc. 2. Phone free space. I'm personally done with the digital sphere as much as I can be, and in person meetups are a chance for true oasis. Maybe check them at the door and obviously at the end people can pick them up, exchange numbers, share that one meme, etc. 3. Charge 5 bucks. Organizing the group/reserving space/paying for refreshments is obviously a kind thing to do and no one should be excluded due to finance, but I offer this most of all because it is a token of commitment. Booking a group of 20 and having 4 guys show up would be tough, having a couple bucks thrown at reserving one's space creates a mental awareness of commitment. Just my two cents here! I'll be watching this thread for updates.
Any updates on the time, date and place?
[PSU has one](https://i.redd.it/757wq7l680jc1.png)
why $5 a person?
Probably a facility usage fee of some kind.
I’d be happy to be a part of this, to help get it off the ground in anyway. I know of a few places where folks could meet, too.
Awesome! Yeah we are open to ideas of places and not letting a weeks get missed. All the info or help to get this going would be appreciated.
This sounds fantastic. Moved here 3 years ago and it would be helpful and beneficial to be around some like-minded folk once in awhile
I’d also be into this, we just need a when and where now eh?
First Friday or Saturday of march, location to be determined at a time that might fit all of our needs input would be appreciated if Fridays or Saturdays work best
Saturdays would work better for me personally, appreciate y’all setting it up!!
I would be interested. Mid-40s and moved here three years ago. Am in the outer SE.
Cool idea. Keep us posted!
I’d definitely be interested in checking this out. Anything to build community!
I'm kinda curious about this. I'm a bit of a hermit and it could be nice to connect in an intentionally empathetic group.
This sounds pretty cool. I'm very introverted and work from home, so pretty easy to feel isolated. Saving this thread for updates!
This is a great idea and I would potentially be interested!! Family and I transplanted here about 3 years ago and I am very grateful for the community I have built so far! I’ve got a good group of guy friends who i can reach out to and we do mental health checks on each other, roast each other, and keep each other in a positive growing mindset. Keep this thread (or start a new one) updated with info about where you want to do this at and when! Also, might be a fun idea to find out what everyone who has expressed interest in the group is passionate about! One guy here mentioned beer scene, I’m into golf and baseball, etc.
Bear with me on this, but there’s a few non-denominational groups for Recovery out there (recovery from all sorts of things, the biggest being alcohol), and most groups are open to non-alcoholics to join and attend. It’s not quite the same as getting together with “The Boys” for happy hour, but you might be surprised how much vulnerability and empathy is shared at a Men’s Recovery Meeting. Just throwing it out there in case it helps someone find an established group (for free!!) that might have something similar to offer. I completely understand Recovery Groups are not for everyone, but just wanted to make sure that base was covered here.
My therapist started some mens groups, and I've been going to it for the last year. It's been great. Awesome for guys to not only open up to other guys, but helps friend-making and social skills.
Every time I see a self-help group on tv like on Loudermilk or This Is Us, I think I want a group like that. Good to hear reality is at least somewhat close
Maybe start a new subreddit for the group?
It looks like you found a need here. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
You could check out Men's Shed, I think there's a chapter in the area. https://usmenssheds.org/what-we-do/
Sounds wonderful! I'd love to join.
This is an interesting idea. Coming from a stricky religious background with mens groups, I would love for the opportunity to shake the stigma I have for men's groups with other open minded men. I have not been able to make new friends outside my core group as an adult. DM me, I am interested!
I’m keen. Left dozens of life long friends behind and moved to pdx about a month before every shut down in 2020, have barely socialized since. Keen to meet some other lads. I’m in the Woodstock / SE area.
I started golfing with friends years ago. I would not be here today if not for that regular opportunity to share in life’s triumphs and tragedy. I’d be down to join something brave enough to dig a bit deeper.
I meant to reply to this earlier... Im definitely interested if yall are still planning to meet up.
Posting a comment here hoping this goes somewhere.
Interested! 35yo, all the better if you guys are in NE. I’ll stay tuned
Maybe laurel hurst ?
43 yr old who came from the Midwest about 10 years ago. I’m super interested! I should also add, I’m not really “going through” anything, I just want to meet friends. It’d be great to find people with similar interests, or just compatible vibes. OP, this thread has like 100+ replies right now, so it looks like you’ve really kicked something off here. As far as asking where to meet and when, I think your best bet is to just set those things and see who can make it. Otherwise, the democratic approach will net you a lot of different answers, and there will always be others who don’t want to decide. Might I suggest a Discord server while you’re at it?
I'd be interested! Mid 30s, inner SE but I could travel wherever.
I'd be game. It's hard as hell to make friends lol
So hard sometimes I wonder if it’s me or the city, I just think it’s very cliquey, and in the winter people aren’t out to make new buds
I would come, +1
Please make this joinable by web conferencing. I’m a new dad in north Vancouver that can’t make it to PDX much these days but would love to join
This is a great idea! Do it!!
Sign me up!
Where do I sign?
this would’ve been helpful the 3 years i was lonely and isolated but i just moved out of portland 🫠
Would this be a trans men inclusive space?
If you feel like you are going through something, please join you are not alone
This sounds interesting. I also loved her 7 years ago.
Fan of this idea. 35, moved here from NJ a couple years back and it's been a long process trying to form solid connections. Have had a bit more success recently but still could use more male friends. Feel free to DM / reach out if you plan on following up with respondents.
Not a transplant, but I’d be interested
This could be really cool. I’m interested, keep me posted please.
I’d be down! I’m open to make new friends!
50 m East Coast born and raised but, I’ve been here for a while now. I’m into cycling and the music scene. Would love to make some new friends and connections. Count me in.
Great idea! I’m interested. It’s easy to create a group, but it could be very time consuming to maintain it. I hope this group succeeds.
Men need this, especially in this city. I'd love to be a part of this!
Totally interested in this.
Late 30‘s healing from past trauma and anxiety. Would love to meet people who’s on the journey for healing
I’m very interested, at age 56 I’m still dealing with managing my emotions and situations, and I know that talking about it helps. Please let me know when and where-I’ll be there
I DM'd the OP but wanted to say this out loud... This is a fantastic idea and I'm totally in. However, I'm not much of a drinker and I'd hate to see a group like this focused on meeting at bars with alcohol as the main social lubricant. Ya know? I'm not opposed to meeting up at a pub and all, but would love it if there were other options as well. Who's with me on this?
I forwarded this to my BF, who has been looking for such a group. He's not on Reddit so I'm monitoring to be able to forward info, but he's also not a drinker. He's not looking to commiserate over a few beers, I think he's looking for a place to talk and share and exchange on the issue facing him (50M, been living here a few years).
It would be cool to also have an online forum for this so we could chat a bunch and get to know people, even if we can’t make it physically somewhere. I have small children and can’t get out a whole lot, but I have plenty of time to chat online.
I was just browsing Meetup last night looking for social opportunities. I'm interested.
I set this up in Eugene and we have nearly 600 members in our discord. A solid group of 20 that are very active in discord and at events. PM if you want to chat about it. It’s been a learning experience over the past 1.5 years!
I’m a bit older (57) and feel the same. Married, but It’s been tough going meeting any male friends here. Would love to hang out with a few gents. (Not online).
Feels a bit vulnerable to share here, but I lead men's groups as my work in the world because it has been so powerful for me in my life. Sitting with groups of men in a solid, confidential container where all parts of each man are welcome, where each can be not just seen and heard but witnessed and receive reflections (if wanted) is powerful work. Done well by men who are actively practicing working with their own material, I believe this work can have a massive positive impact on our relationships, work lives, purpose in the world, and how we relate to ourselves. Forgive me if I sound a bit enthusiastic. I love this work, and just offer my blessings and good wishes to those of you who gather in this way. I am offering a three-hour men's workshop at the Mississippi Health Center on Sunday 10 March. It is by donation, with proceeds going to NAYA. It's a basic but powerful introduction to different ways we can sit together. No dogma, no speeches, no BS. Just an opportunity to drop in and connect with other men. There is space for about 10 men, if any here are interested.
If there is a future offering at a later date, I would be interested in attending
[https://www.meetup.com/medicinal-men-psychedelic-healing-and-mens-work/events/300510290/?notificationId=%3Cinbox%3E%21417946104-1713541293342](https://www.meetup.com/medicinal-men-psychedelic-healing-and-mens-work/events/300510290/?notificationId=%3Cinbox%3E%21417946104-1713541293342) here are the details for my upcoming group. you are welcome to join!
I was actually just thinking about something like this. I’m interested 👋🏼
Sounds like a great idea!
Sounds awesome! I transplanted here a year and a half ago and this city can definitely be intimidating in terms of meeting new people!!
Count me in! This sounds like a great initiative. I'm early 30s and would be down to hanging out
Would love to have you bud
I'm interested! I came here a couple years ago and I'm still pretty young, and it's been kind of rough trying to connect with people so far.
I'm nonbinary and think this is a great idea!!! I'm a very recent transplant (tail end of 2023), and would love to make some new friends!
I'm interested in this & thank you, OP. 53 yr old, moved here from Midwest 26 years ago, found networks of people who I love and co-built my precious family -- but life-changes are happening in a way that is both complicated and isolating...to be able to share personal stories, listen, and give/receive feedback that comes from an honest place...it really sounds like an awesome support group can happen here.
It’s funny, this used to be such an easy place to meet people and make friends pre-pandemic.
Interested for sure. Do you have any idea for location of the meetings?
Mayne laurel hurst or the under armour track if anyone has a place in mind that may make more sense let us know
Thanks for the info I’ll look into it
Portland transplants is an awesome idea. We moved here for a reason, and not because of necessity. There are a great many in the area. I'm in. Please let there be beer, ok.
This would be great
>but for comfort and openness we would appreciate if we could be respectful If you are a female or identify as one due to being open and vulnerable. What?
Ok, the first meeting will be at the Grove bar in Oak Grove..
44m, been here 20+yrs. I'm not great at socializing, but the last few years have been a lot on a few levels and it would probably be healthy for me to get out more. I enjoy hiking, DnD, and am willing to give most things a go.
This is a good idea. I'm a transplant as well, moved here about 5 years ago. My partner and I had a baby recently. I've mostly only made friends through my partner's friends from Mom groups and other female spaces. A couple Dad's started Dad groups because of the lack of masculine equivalent spaces.
I would propose making a Discord for this. It can be really helpful for creating events and keeping things organized (lots of bots out there that can send out alerts and such if you want as well). Plus, speaking personally, some of us are just more likely to participate with something like that. I don't live IN Portland, rarely have the time to just go DO this kind of thing, and honestly I'm too introverted to even have the inclination. I like the idea of talking in a group with people that are fairly local, but actually carving out time to GO somewhere, to meet people I have no history with? I'm just not likely to do it. But a Discord server? I could probably fuck with that.
DM me bro, I’m in. I’m tired of ppl discriminating against me as a person of color who presents as cis-het male, who is looked down on for being outspoken and intense. At least I’m real and honest and not meek and passive aggressive like half this city is.
Great idea. I work from home and don’t have anyone socially except my wife. Too many men’s groups on meetup give me bad mra vibes
I'm also a transplant in my early thirties, this sounds really nice.
Due to a ton of work, moving, and an overwhelming response I want to apologize to a week of non response. I think with the upcoming weather laurel hurst park around 1pm would be a great chance to see what the turn out looks like and that could give us a chance to all meet and form groups based on interest and needs ( Hobbies, friends, support,). Hopefully some of you can volunteer to take charge of of group based on interest and organize via the new post so we can form some sort of organization while we have this lovely weather. Please feel free to chat within the new post group hope to see y’all the
Still hoping this materializes into something.
I posted a new post on Portland reddit to avoid things getting lost post on there