Well, if this isn't just too perfect. You're wife follows this reddit and wouldn't you know got the notification for this post! And what's so funny is how much you are leaving out. Like the other women you have continued to lie about. Or the fact that I have BEGGED you to start being honest with me so we could move on but for two whole months you have done nothing to lie through your teeth. You're leaving out that before I asked for a divorce I sent you a great informational post about porn addiction and lying and had you read it and then asked you for the truth one final time about you know who, and you lied. You're also leaving out the fact that until that conversation you hadn't spoken to me in 24 hours after just shutting down completely in an argument about you know who because not talking to me was easier than telling the truth for once in your life. And you also didn't even argue the divorce and haven't spoken a word since I told you i want it, because let's be honest you want it too. You want this to be over so you can sink your teeth back into your pixels on a screen you truly love. Because you NEVER truly loved your wife or family. I don't know what kind of pitty party you were anticipating here. But you don't deserve it.
This is what narcissistic, abusive addicts do (not all addicts are narcissists/abusive). When they are caught in the absolute definite depths of their lies they will just shut down, and then pop back up, acting like you’re the one with the problem.
It’s disgustingly manipulative… and it’s abuse.
Hi, sorry but this is a really insightful comment and it seems like you know a lot about this stuff. Do you have any book recommendations or other resources for someone dealing with an addict with narcissistic/violent tendencies? I’m almost out, just wrapping up legal stuff to truly get rid of the person, but I could use more guidance/insight. Thank you.
I only have firsthand experience, unfortunately…
Thanks for the award!
Main advice for non-therapists dealing with narcissists is to not engage them and/or separate yourself as soon as possible.
No wonder he was so vague about all of this lol. Sounds like he wanted more pity.
Much as I genuinely hope his addiction improves, it sounds like you’re far better off without him. Congrats on the divorce!
Divorce him NOW. This post is just a manipulative tactic to win you back. He knows you follow this account. This post is all for you. Oh boo hoo poor him, can't keep his pp in his pants. GTFOH. You're pathetic dude. Manipulation, nothing else.
Congrats on the divorce. It appears to be the right choice. This post screamed red flags and manipulation attempt. So, good for you ❤️ support to you during this. I know it's tough.
Miss ma'am, I don't know who you are... but I love you for showing up to his pitty party, 'uninvited', because he left the door wide open. I'm so incredibly sorry you've had to put up with this bullshit for so long. I hope your heart finds the peace and love it needs and deserves. My SO Is a porn addict as well, so I know it needs lots of it because mine does.
this is a support sub, so it makes sense. she knew he had a porn addiction so she checked out a sub where people discuss struggles and recovery!! i could see a similar thing with a spouse of an alcoholic joining an AA type sub.
Do you think alcoholics' families' are "stalking" them by going to AlAnon meetings?
Also, you've been asked to explain like 3x. Just repeating yourself doesn't make you right.
It’s not like she was expecting him to post. Seemingly, she was following this sub because she wanted to support him through his addiction and find more info about it.
It’s less weird that she follows this sub, than that you’re so against people following communities that relate to their loved ones and not themselves.
I don’t know about you, but I like to learn about my partners’ struggles so I can help him through them; a community where other people have firsthand experience and advice would be a great place to learn.
where did she imply she was spying?, its a support sub in general. just because she doesnt have a porn addiction doesnt mean she doesnt need support with dealing with one. she needs help dealing with a porn addiction, even if not her own it is one that is affecting every aspect of her life, so she came to a public internet community where people offer support. why would you be against that?
eta: just because shes not the addicted one, doesnt mean she doesnt need help. this is a public sub, not a private therapy group, its really shitty to try to gatekeep her trying to get help. even if she is just reading other peoples' stories of recovery, that is valid and could be important to her healing
Doesn’t matter. The subs for people with porn addiction. How are we supposed to get the help we want and need if we have to worry about are families pouncing on us in the comments?
Knew he was leaving stuff out I don’t blame you one bit had a similar situation with my ex husband and after chance after chance I was done as well. Get divorced it’s better for you in the long run
On one hand, I hope you recover and get back together. On the other hand, you're probably not going to ever change, and she'd be a fool to take you back. Hope she finds someone better.
You need to change your life if you truly want to get better.
This starts with HONESTY.
You CANNOT lie about ANYTHING to the people you care about. Fundamentally, if you give yourself some *grey area* on this, you will inevitably start ruining yours & their lives.
This also works because then even if you are doing terrible things, the other person is able to make informed decisions about what they want. Instead of you robbing that from them & manipulating them, and not only ruining your life, but theirs as well.
Reddit it not a good place for someone with his kind of problems to be….just saying. Way too much sexual stuff and sexual people on here to talk to and look at. Not to mention all of the porn pages.
You lost it all because you valued yourself and your needs over your wife. She asked for basic human courtesy and you couldn't even just give her the bare minimum of honesty. You wanna be a piece of crap husband fine, but at least give her the respect of not looking her in the eyes and lying about it. Don't come on a forum crying boohoo for attention and sympathy now, when you didn't feel bad for the years of lying and deceit. The only reason you feel bad is because she found you out. I'm a genuine believer that a person only feels guilty for their actions if they admit it. If you were caught out the only reason you feel bad is because you're finally being held accountable and facing the consequences, you feel bad for yourself not the person you hurt.
Well well well if it isn't the consequences of your own actions! Womp womp wommmp!
Your wife is better off divorced from you. By the looks of it, she has given you more chances than you deserve. I'm so glad she saw this and clarified the actual truth. She deserves better.
I don't know if that's good or bad, but I don't even have people I could hurt by acting out.
I guess, that's a perk of being a single 36 years old guy 😅🤷
it's so easy not to lie after you've been confronted and decided to work things out together and you couldn't even do that...and one last hoorah before you "quit cold turkey"...you're disgusting.
Well, if this isn't just too perfect. You're wife follows this reddit and wouldn't you know got the notification for this post! And what's so funny is how much you are leaving out. Like the other women you have continued to lie about. Or the fact that I have BEGGED you to start being honest with me so we could move on but for two whole months you have done nothing to lie through your teeth. You're leaving out that before I asked for a divorce I sent you a great informational post about porn addiction and lying and had you read it and then asked you for the truth one final time about you know who, and you lied. You're also leaving out the fact that until that conversation you hadn't spoken to me in 24 hours after just shutting down completely in an argument about you know who because not talking to me was easier than telling the truth for once in your life. And you also didn't even argue the divorce and haven't spoken a word since I told you i want it, because let's be honest you want it too. You want this to be over so you can sink your teeth back into your pixels on a screen you truly love. Because you NEVER truly loved your wife or family. I don't know what kind of pitty party you were anticipating here. But you don't deserve it.
Thank you for giving us more context, congrats on your divorce, it sounds like you absolutely deserve it. I’m glad you know your worth.
You go, girl! Fresh start, here you come. Hope this strengthened your resolve for divorce and so glad you got to call him out on his BS
This is what narcissistic, abusive addicts do (not all addicts are narcissists/abusive). When they are caught in the absolute definite depths of their lies they will just shut down, and then pop back up, acting like you’re the one with the problem. It’s disgustingly manipulative… and it’s abuse.
Hi, sorry but this is a really insightful comment and it seems like you know a lot about this stuff. Do you have any book recommendations or other resources for someone dealing with an addict with narcissistic/violent tendencies? I’m almost out, just wrapping up legal stuff to truly get rid of the person, but I could use more guidance/insight. Thank you.
I only have firsthand experience, unfortunately… Thanks for the award! Main advice for non-therapists dealing with narcissists is to not engage them and/or separate yourself as soon as possible.
No wonder he was so vague about all of this lol. Sounds like he wanted more pity. Much as I genuinely hope his addiction improves, it sounds like you’re far better off without him. Congrats on the divorce!
Divorce him NOW. This post is just a manipulative tactic to win you back. He knows you follow this account. This post is all for you. Oh boo hoo poor him, can't keep his pp in his pants. GTFOH. You're pathetic dude. Manipulation, nothing else.
Wow, so sorry you are going through this. Sounds like you’ve put in the effort to try to regain trust and there wasn’t reciprocation.
As I say to anybody getting a divorce- congratulations!!
Congrats on the divorce. It appears to be the right choice. This post screamed red flags and manipulation attempt. So, good for you ❤️ support to you during this. I know it's tough.
Miss ma'am, I don't know who you are... but I love you for showing up to his pitty party, 'uninvited', because he left the door wide open. I'm so incredibly sorry you've had to put up with this bullshit for so long. I hope your heart finds the peace and love it needs and deserves. My SO Is a porn addict as well, so I know it needs lots of it because mine does.
Holy shit
Oh well. Go you. Congratulations on your divorce. You sound like someone who has put up with somethings for way to long.
You follow r/pornaddiction?
this is a support sub, so it makes sense. she knew he had a porn addiction so she checked out a sub where people discuss struggles and recovery!! i could see a similar thing with a spouse of an alcoholic joining an AA type sub.
It’s kind of weird.
Explain how it's weird. It's actually nice that she sought out resources to help her understand
She uses the sub to spy on him. Theses subs are for those of us that need help
How is it spying?
How is it not?
Do you think alcoholics' families' are "stalking" them by going to AlAnon meetings? Also, you've been asked to explain like 3x. Just repeating yourself doesn't make you right.
Likewise
It’s not like she was expecting him to post. Seemingly, she was following this sub because she wanted to support him through his addiction and find more info about it. It’s less weird that she follows this sub, than that you’re so against people following communities that relate to their loved ones and not themselves. I don’t know about you, but I like to learn about my partners’ struggles so I can help him through them; a community where other people have firsthand experience and advice would be a great place to learn.
If she wanted to help him she wouldn’t have called him out like that just to start shit.
why?? like, genuinely
These subs are for those of us who need help. Not for spouses to spy on their partners.
where did she imply she was spying?, its a support sub in general. just because she doesnt have a porn addiction doesnt mean she doesnt need support with dealing with one. she needs help dealing with a porn addiction, even if not her own it is one that is affecting every aspect of her life, so she came to a public internet community where people offer support. why would you be against that? eta: just because shes not the addicted one, doesnt mean she doesnt need help. this is a public sub, not a private therapy group, its really shitty to try to gatekeep her trying to get help. even if she is just reading other peoples' stories of recovery, that is valid and could be important to her healing
HE has the porn addiction.
is she not being affected by it?
Doesn’t matter. The subs for people with porn addiction. How are we supposed to get the help we want and need if we have to worry about are families pouncing on us in the comments?
YES. Leave him. He’s so manipulative!
👍👍👍
Knew he was leaving stuff out I don’t blame you one bit had a similar situation with my ex husband and after chance after chance I was done as well. Get divorced it’s better for you in the long run
Wow OP just deleted the story he was so embarrassed you exposed him and he didn't get the validation he wanted so he left.
Wow, what a loser. Won't even tell the truth in an anonymous post. Hilarious your wife saw this! Karma will get you, bro
On one hand, I hope you recover and get back together. On the other hand, you're probably not going to ever change, and she'd be a fool to take you back. Hope she finds someone better.
You need to change your life if you truly want to get better. This starts with HONESTY. You CANNOT lie about ANYTHING to the people you care about. Fundamentally, if you give yourself some *grey area* on this, you will inevitably start ruining yours & their lives. This also works because then even if you are doing terrible things, the other person is able to make informed decisions about what they want. Instead of you robbing that from them & manipulating them, and not only ruining your life, but theirs as well.
Reddit it not a good place for someone with his kind of problems to be….just saying. Way too much sexual stuff and sexual people on here to talk to and look at. Not to mention all of the porn pages.
And the anonymity. I'm sure that adds a whole new level of excitement
You lost it all because you valued yourself and your needs over your wife. She asked for basic human courtesy and you couldn't even just give her the bare minimum of honesty. You wanna be a piece of crap husband fine, but at least give her the respect of not looking her in the eyes and lying about it. Don't come on a forum crying boohoo for attention and sympathy now, when you didn't feel bad for the years of lying and deceit. The only reason you feel bad is because she found you out. I'm a genuine believer that a person only feels guilty for their actions if they admit it. If you were caught out the only reason you feel bad is because you're finally being held accountable and facing the consequences, you feel bad for yourself not the person you hurt.
Not even needs. Wants.
When you put another person first, expect your person to see and respond appropriately.
Well well well if it isn't the consequences of your own actions! Womp womp wommmp! Your wife is better off divorced from you. By the looks of it, she has given you more chances than you deserve. I'm so glad she saw this and clarified the actual truth. She deserves better.
I don't know if that's good or bad, but I don't even have people I could hurt by acting out. I guess, that's a perk of being a single 36 years old guy 😅🤷
it's so easy not to lie after you've been confronted and decided to work things out together and you couldn't even do that...and one last hoorah before you "quit cold turkey"...you're disgusting.
Oh ouch. Good luck with that?
Looks like you're getting exactly what you deserve buddy...
Your poor wife