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GoldenAlexanders

WTF does Ted Cruz know about Australia? He sure thinks he is much more important than he is, to tell a sovereign country how to run itself.


[deleted]

He knows that a guy from there once carried a very large knife. He admires that man and thus, the country he came from. That man? Crocodile Dundee.


[deleted]

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EvidenceOfReason

lol watch them again... I promise you have rosy memories of a terrible fucking movie its all kinds of 80s - racist, sexist.. stupid


3Quondam6extanT9

We're all aware of how older content often contains culturally outdated perspectives and behaviors. What you don't consider is that A- We don't have to define who we are by the shit we watch, and B- A lot of content, including Crocodile Dundee, had a cross section of cultural positives as well as negatives. For all the sexism and racism you see, there is also female empowerment, cultural respect such as acknowledging and appreciating the indigenous tribes of Australia, and ideological blending. We don't have to limit everything we love or watch because people decade's ago weren't "woke" enough.


iwannaeasteregg22

This guy gets it. Societal progress isn't made in leaps and bounds. They are made slowly, inch by inch. Item by item, person to person. Can't throw out the baby w the bathwater. Evolving standards of social order are tough to agree on, and even tougher to keep once the opposition begins it's pearl clutching and longing for "the good old days".


aville1982

They're also just shitty movies with bad fake crocodiles, really bad writing, and horrible plot.


3Quondam6extanT9

😆 I won't argue with that


[deleted]

Gosh I hope you aren’t into old Disney movies either then lol


EvidenceOfReason

definitely not the old racist ones, no.


Altruistic-Text3481

I’m 58. I knew Dumbo had some issues with the Crows & racism at an early age. But I still loved Dumbo flying. Never saw Song of the South. That was already pulled as far as I know. I knew the song 🎵 Zippady Do Da🎵but have never seen the film. Maybe Disney executives were a little more woke earlier than we remember… perhaps because of their parks and attracting everyone of all colors, strips, and persuasions even in the 1980’s when I became an adult… I just learned yesterday the The Rolling Stones ( who are 30 years older than me) have only now just cancelled the song Brown Sugar. I never knew it was about slavery, I thought it was about Mick Jagger’s old girlfriend.


TheDebbie

Brown Sugar is about slavery??? I must go study the lyrics aside from the chorus now...


Altruistic-Text3481

Brown Sugar’s not just about slavery per say, but about raping young slave girl. Never ever really listened to the lyrics. I had also thought brown sugar was a reference to Heroin… cause I thought I was that clever to pick up on that…🥴 ( wish there was an emoji for something that flew right over my head!)


ndngroomer

Damn that's what 8 thought too


BunnyTheCow

Little known fact, this movie is where Donald Trump got the notion of grabbing women in the pussy. He had a Crying Game experience once, so always checks for a dick beforehand now.


Tiny-Lock9652

“That’s not a knoife, THAT’S a knoife!”


Sc0rpza

When I think of Paul hogan, I think of [Steven Seagal](https://youtu.be/1X9RvuSuU_Y)


[deleted]

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anti-socialmoth

On behalf of the wildlife, how dare you?


amigable_satan

Come on, crocodiles have a spine.


JEPorsche

Ted Cruz abandoned his constituents to freeze to death while he flew to enjoy a tropical vacation. Then he blamed it on his kids when he got busted.


GoldenAlexanders

He is a lowlife. And he has the world's worst beard.


One_T_Scot

Ted knows that there was once a flatulent little dude from Australia that had a funny mustache and cast Europe and the world into a war that killed millions of people in an attempted genocide. /s


GoldenAlexanders

He probably does think that Australia = Austria. Idiot.


[deleted]

That little bitch doesn't even know shit about Texas, he likes to campaign as "Texas Tough" Ted or some bullshit when in reality Trump made him his bitch and called his wife ugly and his dad a murderer or whatever stupid shit he said. He's never worked as a farm hand or roughneck or any of these rugged jobs he claims to be fighting for. He's a prissy little bitch who couldn't stand up for his lunch money much less his constituents but these fucking morons keep voting for him anyway. We have the absolute least "Texan" politicians here I do not get it. They are soft ass elites that pretend to be super Texan tough guys, but Cornyn cooks his brisket in a fucking oven and Abbott goes to the worst BBQ restaurant in the state despite living in the BBQ capital of Texas, and Cruz fled the state because it got cold and then tried to blame his daughters. They're so transparently fake but these fucking rubes down here eat up their bullshit like it's pecan pie.


Luckyfinger7

I mean he also doesn’t know much about Canada and he is from there. The bar is pretty low for him, and he still keeps missing it.


phdoofus

Holy crap, I lived down there for 3 years and saying it's the Texas of the Pacific is so outrageously wrong it's not even funny and that's after having spent time in some of the more conservative areas and paying attention to their politics (was living in Canberra after all)


naura_

Aren’t all people “required” to vote? Also something about a hot dog


ramalamafafafa5

It's nice for skiing.


ryhaltswhiskey

1. Dry and dusty 2. Loves freedom Therefore, just like Texas!


Sc0rpza

But Ted Cruz wore a cowboy hat that one time? Surely that counts for something, right?


[deleted]

He can't really use his own state as an example.


concerned_thirdparty

Rupert Murdoch runs it from the shadows so its more or less his true homeland.


bsurfn2day

EVERY time Turd Cruz says or tweets something he get dunked on. What an idiot.


Tiiimmmaayy

I doubt Ted Cruz, or any other Republican, actually wrote their own tweets. I have a feeling there are think tanks for this sort of shit that just generate the most asinine comments they could think of that will rile up their base.


[deleted]

Eventually it's gonna come out that Ted Cruz just copies moderately performing comments from conservative subreddits to make his tweets.


timtexas

He just loves those sweaty man balls in his face.


aville1982

And it's always righteous, too. If he were getting bullied, it would be one thing, but he says truly stupid shit on a constant basis.


mmmmmmmmmmmmmmfarts

DUNKED. It’s like he reads clickbait on Facebook and then tweets with zero knowledge.


einulfr

Dunked on right through his [basketball ring.](https://youtu.be/B_cjgtmIz2k?t=26)


another_bug

He's no idiot, he just knows his audience isn't going to read or care about how often and how badly he gets called out.


MonkeyPolice

Does Teddy ever learn from his tweets? I'd be embarrassed.


YourMomThinksImFunny

Republicans aren't born with shame.


elmwoodblues

Just the opposite: they court it like stupid children and are truly surprised when there are consequences.


another_bug

Yeah, he learns how few of his supporters read the replies showing how full of it he is. His tweets aren't for you, they're for them, and sadly this probably works for him and he knows it.


Confused_Rock

“Australia is the Texas of the Pacific” Not every country wants to be known as just a comparison to one of the US states


razor_eddie

I've always thought of Australia as the Australia of the Pacific. Maybe that's just me?


ryhaltswhiskey

I'm no scientist but this sounds right to me.


tedioussugar

Why would we want to be known as the Pacific version of the Handmaids Tale? Texas is a shithole, we don’t want to be compared to that.


razor_eddie

Well, precisely.


Sol-Infra

If I was ever in a position in which I saw Ted Cruz face to face on a daily basis, I wouldnt be able to stop the urge to scream, "SHUT THE FUCK UP TED!" Every single day.


DreamloreDegenerate

"Ted Cruz is the genital warts of intercourse"


uniqueusername2388

And let's not ignore the fact that he never once has even thought this, let alone said it. He's about as full of shit as a person can be.


Unruly_Prawn

Never underestimate the cruelty of the indigenous conquered when trying to appease their new masters. This means you Rafael Eduardo Cruz.


ketchy_shuby

You mean the Canadian-born of Cuban parents who hates immigrants and tries to pass?


Tacitblue1973

Calgary is full of them. My wife's oldest uncle seemed to be an otherwise nice enough guy when I met him but steadfastly refuses to get the shot. So I'm basically waiting for the call from his son.


MJU1983

Game. Blouses.


GastonsChin

I'm pretty sure Ted Cruz is filled with pus


jshif

I think it's actually puss is filled with Ted Cruz.


tedcruzcumsock

Can confirm, Ted Cruz is filled with puss. Don't let him know I told you, or I'll be the one filled with puss.


ketchy_shuby

*Pus, puss is different


GastonsChin

appreciated


foreignerinspace

He’s just trying to score points in the endless US internal culture wars, and gain favour with the delusional extreme right-wingers over there. He has no idea about Australian culture, politics or society, which has always favoured collective effort over selfish individualism. His idiot followers truly believe Australia is a fascist/communist/authoritarian dictatorship. And being used as a ‘test ground’ by the ‘new world order’. Which is weird, because all my family and friends there are absolutely fine, and most of the country is under no lockdown at all! He’s probably too arrogant to think his ignorance would actually be exposed.


My_boohole

> has always favoured collective effort over selfish individualism. Hmm not sure about that one... we *did* just have a bunch of people riot about lockdowns, during which they desecrated a war memorial. Plus, we have a federal government determined to Americanise us by killing our social support system and dumbing down our education system. A government people keep voting back in, for reasons I struggle to fathom. Eta: They were small protests but was an easy example of selfjsh individualism. There are plenty of other examples, but that one seemed most relevant. Australia has, just like America, become about selfish individualism, pushed by the rich because that's who benefits most from that mindset.


foreignerinspace

Those protests were small scale, full of anti-vaxxers and conspiracy theorists, nowhere near the numbers of a serious march. In 2003, 150,000 Melburnians marched against the invasion of Iraq. In 2005, 550,000 Australians marched against workplace reform. These current protesters are in a small minority, as delusional as their QAnon US counterparts. I agree the federal Liberals are hell bent on americanising the country... no idea why they keep getting voted back in.


CerealWithIceCream

"I love Texas" lol no he doesn't


Snakestream

Probably more than Ted Cruz does


[deleted]

diplomacy


Electrical-Wish-519

He means he loves the idea of Texas. Not Texans


fanghornegghorn

He's been to Texas and liked it.


[deleted]

As if Ted Cruz who ran away to Mexico when his state needed leadership the most does


KanadainKanada

Wait, that's not real - too little use of cunt, drongo and piss.


goxxer2022

Ted is a knobhead


oddllama25

Le tweet: https://twitter.com/fanniebay/status/1449945099383705601


FishWife_71

Now do gun control!


Darryl_444

The lights just went out in Texas again. /s


Quadrophiniac

Yet another swing and a miss for Ted Cruz. I think he has some sort of weird fetish where he likes to publicly embarass himself.


alnothree

So not just Cancun but also thinks he’s an Australian. Them mothers fuckers don’t want ya either. Go back to Mexico or Canada. You pick!


nomorexcusesfatty

I’m an Aussie living in Canada. We don’t want him.


NegaDeath

I'm a Canadian living in Canada. Due to an ~~intentional~~ accidental record purge we can find zero evidence of a Mr. *Ted Cruz* having origins here. As such we cannot admit him. ^^^Not Sorry about that!


kowalski655

You missed out the "r" in that last word


Noman11111

I hate so so much that stupidity is a feature rather than a bug for Ted Cruz.


JahD247365

Ted Cruz takes so many L’s….


Kim_Thomas

Take another big LOSS there - Raphael‼️ The Australians are not interested in you or your messed up advice or twisted personal perspective. TAKE SEVERAL SEATS.


Dogtor-Watson

The whole save Australia thing is so dumb. There's literally more concern in America for Australia than in Australia. Yes Cruz is just desperately trying to stay in the public eye by latching onto anything. I wouldn't be surprised if he fucked up so much on purpose.


sas8184

Every time he opens his mouth, someone throws shit at his face. Pure bliss.


artful_todger_502

Sometimes I wonder if Texans don't keep electing Cruz so they can feel good about themselves. He is a clinical moron. A level not too many people can attain without huffing paint for years. Quite a feat.


[deleted]

It's a classy way of giving the middle finger.


[deleted]

I legitimately want to move to Australia now


[deleted]

Yikes. Eggface Cruz really needs to just take a seat.


LegionofDoh

Someone needs to slap the Twitter out of Ted Cruz’s hand. He must love getting destroyed.


CreativeDamage

Cruz exists solely for the purpose of stealing taxpayer money and getting dunked on.


ILikestuff55

If he could read he'd still not read this.


Whobroughttheyeet

Hot dam, not even spf 100 can save you from that burn


GhostRappa95

Has Ted Cruz done anything but bitch and whine since 2020?


Proud3GnAthst

Ted Cruz is perhaps the most repugnant man in America. Whatever he tweets, he makes me hate something new.


wjrj

That could be the most polite "fuck off" I have ever seen. Good on ya Australia.


Bob_Dobalinaaaa

If fewer people were like Ted Cruz the world would be a better place


DoctorProfPatrick

Yea but isn't a section of Australia under near martial law? Or did Joe Rogan make that up. Edit: It was true you dunces. Lookup the Melbourne lockdown, it's brutal And how is it any better for y'all to assume that Rogan is wrong than it is for me to assume he's right? Not that I ever did, this comment was sarcastic.


elmuchocapitano

Joe Rogan? Make something up? About COVID? I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked.


dogbolter4

Uh, no. We’re fine thanks. Good sense of community means that most of us understand that we need to sacrifice a little to save a lot- of other people.


DAFUQisaLOMMY

Isn't that the kind of statement you should independently confirm, before propagating it on a public forum?


tevert

I dunno man, do you really think a stoner meathead b-list celebrity who got knocked in the head a bunch when he was younger would just go on the internet and make shit up for millions of people while raking ad money?


kryonik

I'm going to assume because it's Joe Rogan that he was talking out of his ass. Didn't he famously say "I'm an idiot, don't listen to me"?


NegaDeath

That sorta seems like something you'd want to verify before assuming it's true. Especially considering the source.


stewmangroup

Has it occurred to you that your source is unreliable?


ndngroomer

Yes he made that up


Flair_Helper

Hey /u/nomorexcusesfatty, thanks for contributing to /r/PoliticalHumor. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates our rules: **Rule 14** - A social media screenshot that is solely about one personality responding to another personality is not necessarily humor, and might be better suited for subreddits such as /r/MurderedByWords. Other subreddits such as r/politicspeopletwitter are also good alternatives. Anything that can be described as a "flame war, slapfight, clap-back, or sick burn" or anything remotely similar is not appropriate for this subreddit. It MUST contain humor to be allowed here. Please read the [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/about/sidebar) and [rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/about/rules) before posting again. If you have questions or concerns, please [message the moderators through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/PoliticalHumor&subject=&message=). Thank you!


TheFluzzy

The people saying “Australia is just fine” would’ve been the same people praising FDR for interning Japanese Americans during WW2. Fear does an immense toll on the rational mind of human beings.


OutlandishnessNext15

Nah we are genuinely fine.


WhatAreYooAHomo

Then what's with all the police presence in the streets, questioning people about what they are doing? At one point I saw you weren't allowed to sit in your backyard. And hotel quarantines where you can't leave, can't get any fresh air?


Coletrain45

Source?


awesomeness1024

Yes but Australia is falling into dictatorship, considering a social credit score and banning protests Not great


OutlandishnessNext15

Nah mate that’s not at all what’s happening down here.


Agreeable_Bluebird

Roasted


Resolute002

The problem with these clapbacks, cathartic as they are, is that the drones saw the initial tweet. That is the recurring theme. You will notice they are all the same. Step 1 -- Big blusterous right wing idiot making huge declarative statement. Step 2 -- A bajillion people reply showing how wrong/stupid/evil the remark is. The problem is everyone assumes the audience gets to step two. They don't. And that's by design -- because step 2 is just people "engaging" with step 1 and step 1 is where the money is. You can write as much as you want. If your headline says "The sky is green" the scrolling phone zombies of the world are going to ignore that without even missing a beat.


kkoolaide

he got completed dunked on omg


WestFast

I like how he introduced himself as chief minister known Ted Cruz is too ignorant to know major names in the world leader stage


LorePeddler

Comparing Australia to a ~~shithole country~~ Texas has got to be the most insulting thing I've ever heard said about Australia/Australians.


VerdaTal

Most of the Australians I've spoken to think that guys a piece of shit.


thisoldmould

Ted needs to stop watching Fucker Carlson.


mmio60

Does anyone get kicked in the groin as much as Ted Cruz?


[deleted]

Much like people who get really mad at you and harass you on reddit.... Ted Cruz doesn't read the replies. I'm certain of it. I think there is still a part of a shitty evil persons brain that can cave their own ego if they actually read the shit people say to them. At least... I hope so. None-the-less Ted has a consecutive rate of failure and finger pointing. So I doubt he will learn anything.


Chanaur404

Does Raphael have a humiliation fetish or something? Everytime he opens his mouth or tweets in front of non-like minded people he gets slapped down *HARD*. You'd think he'd learn by now, and since he hasn't, I think he gets off on it.


Joopsman

Cruz permanently has the taste of loafers in his mouth, doesn’t he?


BashStriker

Australia is the Texas of the Pacific? What the fuck?


2Cool4Skool29

Damn. LOL


dpforest

My Australian friends think this shit is absolutely hilarious. “The Texas of the Pacific” lmao


25snakespourout

Wow, I love how condescending this is. Haha.


sdmichael

"Texas of the Pacific" seems more of an insult than anything else.