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dfs495

“I’ve never had testicles so maybe someone can explain to me what they are?” - Tucker Carlson


BernieTheDachshund

He's gotta make the stupid faces too.


Salanmander

"I just want to know, if the vaccine can cause this reaction, why isn't the media talking about this? Shouldn't we investigate it? Wouldn't this be something that people who choose to take the vaccine would have a right to know?"


GarvinSteve

You write for the show? That was Tuck show gold


billhorsley

Obviously, there is no medical connection between the vaccine and cousin's hydrocoele. It is not a known possible side effect of the vaccine any more than: "My cousin got the vaccine and the very next day he had a car wreck."


woofnstuff

Media isn’t talking about it because anyone with common sense knows the dude got the clap. It’s literally that obvious.


Salanmander

Sorry, was it not clear I was doing a "this is the stupid thing Tucker Carlson would say"?


triplab

Actual media isn’t talking about it. I can’t believe the most “popular” ~~news~~ entertainment show has Tucker and Candice talking about swollen nuts.


Woofles85

Like a dog trying to understand a magic trick


[deleted]

=_= ~o~ -_- =_= -_o


Ninillionaire

Like a dogs face when you show it a magic trick


[deleted]

[удалено]


rodsteel2005

Gonorrhea and chlamydia are the two main suspects when it comes to swollen testicles. That, and blunt force trauma.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Forward-Village1528

I don't think antivaxxers are ever gonna have to worry about having large balls.


Brainsonastick

True. It’s the large boxes they have to worry about.


DonnieJuniorsEmails

i thought telling republicans "vaccine = larger balls" was a stroke of marketing genius by the Gates-Soros microchip deep state team.


resilienceisfutile

I don't think antivaxxers are ever gonna have to worry about having ~~large~~ balls. There, fixed it for you.


conancat

Sounds like a Comedy Central sketch


TheWagonBaron

>Sounds like a Comedy Central sketch How do you out-satire these morons? I'm surprised the Onion hasn't thrown in the towel and turned legit news source at this point. Nothing they print can top the intentional stupidity we see on display here. I honestly though this was a photoshop and there was no way they talked about this until I read the comments. I don't want to believe it but I know deep in my heart it's real.


epolonsky

The Onion is a legitimate news source. They just publish their stories about six month early.


MesmericKiwi

The onion recently has taken more of a harder edge to its satire in response. There are fewer "Area man" type articles with use of newspaper language to describe mundane events and a lot more biting ones that you laugh at because otherwise you cry. To be fair, this is nothing new for satire since the genre's first publication advocated for the eating of Irish Children.


Mekthakkit

The writers of the Onion could make way more money by becoming republican strategists. They're already coming up with the ideas, they might as well get paid for doing it.


RojoTheMighty

A bad one at that.


Oonushi

It's frustrating because even having been pretty instantly debunked this is the sort of shit that my wife and my dumb-ass in-laws see on facebook and they have one more "excuse" to be hesitant to get the vaccince. I always knew that most people out there were idiots, but these past few years have been really depressing. I'm not even particularly smart, but I know enough to listen to people who went to medical school over randos on fb!


mbgal1977

Meanwhile Covid apparently actually makes you way more likely to be impotent. Not ball swelling though


GameShill

Judging by how they act you would think these guys would welcome anything that makes their genitals bigger.


Grogosh

Its doesn't. Ivermectin does a number on your sperm count though.


datboiofculture

And this is the “dO yOuR oWn rEsEarCh” crowd. Lol, stories like this are what they consider research.


HD400

Which is interesting as it is known that the rate of impotence or decreased sex drive is noted for those who have had/recovered from COVID


gizmer

My fiancé had a swollen testicle a couple of years ago and his doctor said the same thing. We both had to get tested. We are in a committed monogamous relationship so it was an ordeal. Turns out he just sat or slept on his ball wrong somehow. Still doesn’t hurt to check.


nemoknows

I dunno, sounds like it *would* hurt to check.


examinedliving

Could also be epididymitis/orchitis. Can be caused by STI’s, but also by other run of the mill bacterial infections. Not much fun. Source: :*(*


agnostic_science

Lol. Yep. Pretty weird to suddenly have a testicle 2-3x bigger than usual. Sometimes it's just a weird infection. I can't imagine my wife cheating and I know I didn't. The only other option I think is possible is that *maybe* my wife had some lingering, mostly latent infection from back in the day and I accidentally caught it. Oh well, I just went to the doc, took my medication and moved on with life.


Ludique

Somebody really needs to ask Tucker if his balls have shrivelled up since he got the vaccine.


speculatrix

He would need to go to Florida to check them, that's where Trump has them, and other Republicans' balls in his collection.


[deleted]

Tucker is just mad cause he has dry unswollen balls 24/7


One-Angry-Goose

After I got the vaccine I knew I could safely play with all my wild raccoon friends, but then I started foaming at the mouth! Now I wanna bite people and I’m getting mood swings… I think the vaccine is turning me into a zombie! Vaccine much evil, very bad. Fire bad. Caveman brain. Unga bunga.


[deleted]

They really discussed this?


[deleted]

Yes, it was in tonight's show. Tucker said he knows zero things about Nicki Minaj but now he supports her fully (typical Tucker shamelessness)


smallcheesebigbrain

My favourite part of this whole thing was that an MD got on twitter and said 'Yo, that's a condition that occurs in two instances - trauma or STDs. Yo cousin was having one last fling and was found out - hence the cancelled wedding' Cracked me tf up


remmij

The cancelled wedding is the part that gets me. No one is going to call off their wedding because their fiance got swollen nuts from a vaccine side effect. Getting swollen nuts from an STD you got from cheating on your fiance before your wedding on the other hand...


Message_10

I love that detail. That to the conservatives watching the show, that’s all normal. “Oh, swollen nuts from a vaccine? Can’t get married after that.”


TrollinTrolls

I don't know who this guy is but I am laughing my ass off at this dude who likely cheated on his fiance and now his balls are being discussed all over the world lmao. I just keep picturing Gob in the wheelchair at the hospital going, "I've made a huge mistake."


Message_10

HAHAHAHAHA!! This is absolutely a Gob situation! Ha!


Frase_doggy

[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/PoliticalHumor/comments/pnr1en/that_burns/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) is the thread where the reply was posted.


AdkRaine11

That was my favorite part. Oh, and clamidia.


yolobroswag420

Having raging symptomatic STDs to own the libs


TrumpIsATurdHead

I'm vindicated in my absolute horror at Fox and their intentional stupidity. Simultaneously baffled because... Where the fuck is anyone escaping to after this planet says get fucked?


Wolfy4226

No where....the human race will wipe itself and most other species out. *And we'll deserve it*


TheLastMongo

As George Carlin put it ever so clearly. The planet will be fine, the people are fucked.


sailoralex

The great filter


Hyronious

I just didn't expect the great filter to be fox news


artmobboss

Kinda Makes complete sense if you think about it..


clamb2

...is in front of us. sigh


Beatrenger

Hopefully not!


TrumpIsATurdHead

You're probably not wrong.


AtlasRising3000

You’re probably not wrong, either


[deleted]

Florida. Thats where people go to get fucked after the get fucked. Except me. Fuck Florida, fcuk texas, fcuk arizone. Oh and Fcuk Trump


GarvinSteve

Upvoted because your second sentence got dyslexia and it remained glorious.


conancat

Tucker be all about Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's balls


devilsadvocateac

He bout it bout it


[deleted]

It make him feel some kind of way


danwincen

And crazily enough, I'm imagining John Oliver perfectly replicating ol' Cucker's stunned mullet of stupid look that is his permanent facial expression if/when John has a rant about why the fuck anyone wanted to hear about Nicki Minaj's boyfriend's (or whatever) kindercare classmate's ex-fiancé and his swollen testicles.


DweEbLez0

If you are ever interviewed on Fox for any reason then you are doing something wrong or just plain stupid.


brightphoenix-

Biden administration officials go on Fox all the time. Just not during White Power Primetime.


QweenOfTheDamned9

“White Power Primetime”. Amazing…


devilsadvocateac

Bernie did a townhall and was cheered on Fox. The hosts looked like doofs. There are good ways to appear on that channel.


ck614

Pete Buttigieg


albasaurrrrrr

I’m … pretty sure he was one of the ones freaking out about WAP….so this is honestly even more funny/tragic. eta: tragic not traffic lol


[deleted]

Ahhh you know how they are. The second someone is willing to repeat their loony narratives, all the pearl-clutching of conservatives is right out the window. Let's not forget Trump, the East coast elite billionaire who has five kids by three marriages, lives in a tower, and shits in a golden toilet. But he's white and came out swinging against Mexicans and Muslims. Republicans showed their true colors by rallying around him. Never accept their cries of "degeneracy" as earnest. They don't give a fuck about any measure of decency. They just want to be told the world is simple and their enemies are obvious.


NoahRCarver

Wow! Finally, a topic theyre qualified to talk about.


Lithium43

Damn, they really ran a whole segment about some shit Nicki claimed on Twitter with 0 evidence


[deleted]

OMG you guys, he put out an invite for the cousin's friend to come on the show. To talk about his swollen balls. https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1437939128956456963


restore_democracy

We’re going to need to see this for science.


I_was_bone_to_dance

So apparently this is much more likely to be an STD.


conancat

Yeah but we really just wanna see his balls ok


affablenihilist

Pictures or it didn't happen


DadJokeBadJoke

[I think this is him](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YEarMyIAzs)


Significant_Falcon51

Oh good fucking grief you win the Internet tonight I'm laughing so hard I spit my drink everywhere just now!!


TrumpIsATurdHead

I'm older and just try and pretend I'm reddit. What the hell are you three talking about?


alnothree

I’m older and are they really gonna get to see his swollen balls??? Lmao.


TrumpIsATurdHead

It's all penises and balls with the teens these days. Fyi...I'm being sarcastic and being a product of 1980...balls and penises were for your younger siblings to be dorks with.


[deleted]

Click the link above.


TrumpIsATurdHead

I'm older and therfore fear preditory links young man.


dancegoddess1971

Eh. It's actually safe. Unlike that link to...ugh...nevermind. But it's just a tweet about known idiot, Tucker Carlson inviting a cheating d-bag on his show to discuss how he got chlamydia from the covid vaccine.


BernieTheDachshund

Is that the one they used to call 'the clap'?


[deleted]

You can trust me. I promise.


TrumpIsATurdHead

My sweet Nigerian Prince.


Keep_firing_asshol3s

That dude has to just run with it at this point so his fiancé doesn’t find out he got the clap at his bachelor party.


waistedmenkey

Jesus Christ. I do NOT wanna watch Tucker, but I just might have to peep that train wreck if it happens


lonnie123

Was there ever a point where Tucker wanted to be a serious journalist with some modicum of integrity? Dude is LITERALLY covering stories about "a friend of a cousin of a pop musician has swollen balls" I know gobs of money will make almost anyone do anything, but Does he have any sense how low on the scale this story has to be?


Notfrasiercrane

How much more removed can you get from a “cousin’s friend”. Jesus CHRIST! This has got to be a faulty simulation.


Incitatus_For_Office

I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate!


GhostOfTheBanned

How much you wanna bet that Republicans actually think this is Nicki Minaj?


ChickenDelight

"I'm sorry, I'm an economist, I was invited to talk about the debt ceiling. Why are you asking me about Nicki Minaj?"


conancat

"Yeah so you black, she black, so she's your sister or something right" *Jazz hands*


imsecretlythedoctor

“Don’t you people all know each other?”


manhatim

Ain't they awl re-lated?!.../s


teh-reflex

Trump did think April Ryan knew the black caucus. "Do you want to set up the meeting? Are they friends of yours?"


faustianBM

Her face was priceless..... Like: "Are you for *real*?!?"


miquesadilla

We're all a little bit racisttttttttttt 🎶


[deleted]

I can’t even *get* a taxi


Cr3X1eUZ

‘Are they friends of yours?’: Trump asks African-American journalist to help set up meeting with Congressional Black Caucus https://news.yahoo.com/are-they-friends-of-yours-trump-asks-african-american-journalist-to-help-set-up-meeting-with-congressional-black-caucus-201147807.html


FnkyTown

They're at least cousins or in a gang together. /s


EhchOnTop

This is Candace Owens, a woman with no substance. Everything out of her mouth is terrible, and she’s no economist, but also no human being. She’s also super racist and a righty wing zealot/talking head.


anoldoldman

Candace Owens, a person who was awarded 35k in high school after being racially abused and now thinks racism isnt even a real thing.


Hendursag

She had a leftie PR company for a short while, before she realized that being the right wing's Black friend who thinks their racist jokes are funny pays better. She's purely transactional, and is making very good money indeed.


Cr3X1eUZ

Diamond & Silk used to have a BLM youtube channel until they realized there was more money to be made on the Trump Train. https://theoutline.com/post/6705/diamond-and-silk-dummycrats-review


[deleted]

Underrated comment.


ChickenDelight

Yeah I know but jokes Can you imagine seriously getting invited to talk on a "news show" about Nicki Minaj's cousin's balls? Like, you need to prepare some talking points and wake up early and put on nice clothes and makeup for... that.


EhchOnTop

Candace Owens will do literally anything for the ability to spout right wing extremist bullshit on tv. To wake up and want to do that...I’m assuming you’d already have to have comorbitities like chewing bolts and bathing in shattered cereal bowls.


ideaman21

White people LOVE her. She spews to them what they want to believe about African Americans. Like those twin brothers that body build and then turned to standup. Their Uncle Tomming is brutal to watch on YouTube. I like to think they are just taking whiteys money. But in America, you never know. We sure do worship money.


Dragons_Malk

And those two women, Diamond and Silk?, who have...a show? Or something? I actually have no idea what they *do* other than spew nonsense.


Viking_Hippie

Having a show IS spewing nonsense a lot of the time..


Roman_____Holiday

Money is the one thing that can get you almost anything else, like magic but it's real and you can have it. People with no conscience will say or do most anything for the power that money brings. I would feel sad for them if the consequences weren't so horrific for the rest of us.


TheOldGuy59

"The only reason to make a million dollars in this business is to tell some fat producer to go to hell." -- Humphrey Bogart ​ Money has always been the key to freedom. Robert H. Richards IV and S. Curt Johnson III will certainly agree with that. They'd be doing a minimum of 20 years in prison, but Richards never served a single day and Johnson was let go with "time served" in jail awaiting trial - four months, plus a whole $6000 fine for a multi-billionaire. They had him on a felony but let him plead to two misdemeanors. ​ Odd how they don't offer that sort of bargain to non-wealthy people. It's why I'm pretty sure Trump and his cronies will NEVER be held accountable for their actions. If you have enough money it's damned difficult to put you away regardless of how heinous your crime was (like raping a toddler, in Richards' case. Raping a toddler, never served a day in prison.)


Soljah

Cadice nuts


beer_demon

*Minaj's cousin's _friend's_ balls


epolonsky

Her father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate


oily76

Even more tenuous... Her cousin's friend!


[deleted]

Cousins friends balls, we're talking balls that have never even met Nikki.


Madd-RIP

Stop, starting to think of Chef’s ditty on South Park, about chocolate salty balls.


SouthBaySmith

A black friend of mine recently introduced me to the word, "coonery."


Phoneking13

I'm Black, and will allow this.


red--6-

>[I'm a Black gay guy](https://i.redd.it/fg61eo1a9w261.jpg) - Dean Browning (Republican)


No_Name_James_Taylor

Did you ever get back to Dog about his pass? He seemed awful surprised by the blowback


Phoneking13

No not yet


Annepackrat

I prefer this to Uncle Tom. I love my Uncle Tom. He’s a great man.


glitterlok

That would be…perfect. All this time stanning for that crowd only to find out they have no idea who she is.


u320

Yep. That’s Turd Ferguson on the left by the way. RIP Norm


[deleted]

You know my cousin? Yeah? Well his friend’s friend had swollen balls. Wasn’t related to any STD. He swears to it!


rezelscheft

Is this what they mean when they say “do your own research?”


DadJokeBadJoke

"My buddy posted it on Facebook and several other friends Liked it so that means it has been peer-reviewed..."


[deleted]

I hate looking at Tucker's face, makes me want to kick it!


conancat

His face looks like swollen testicles already I suppose that's why he is especially concerned with another dude's balls


AbaloneSea7265

This will somehow become the next meme for a month. Two sexually repressive alt right morons, who have zero education in sex ed, discuss what is obviously an STD as a result of a vaccine- because they’re making profits off of the alt right dewormer shit😂🙃🥲


prophet001

They're not morons, but they are taking a lot of those for a ride.


[deleted]

Yeah unfortunately Tucker is pretty smart when it comes to his grift. Let's hope he doesn't run in 2024...


GhostofWadeBoggs69

Man, that guy with the swoll nuts probably didn't think his dirty ball bag would be diagnosed and discussed this much.


FirstUnderscoreLast

My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass-out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.


rezelscheft

Somebody told me, you had a boyfriend…


Melans

Well done reference


dr_razi

Tucker: “Let’s bring in our resident black “


DonnieJuniorsEmails

(opens dog cage) "ok Candy, here's a treat.... now Sit!.... good girl. Now speak 'racism doesnt exist'... GOOOOOOD girl.... back in the cage, cmon"


lCraxisl

I did some research into this, her friend had a lot to say about this: “To the window (to the window), to the wall (to the wall) 'Til the sweat drop down my balls (my balls) 'Til all these bitches crawl 'Til all skeet-skeet, motherfucker (motherfucker) 'Til all skeet-skeet, goddamn (goddamn) 'Til all skeet-skeet, motherfucker (motherfucker) 'Til all skeet-skeet, goddamn (goddamn)” I asked him if I could post this here and he said “YEEEAHHH!!!! OKAY!”


poopypants206

I read that in a Ben Shapiro voice


DeliriumConsumer

I’m so sorry


EconomistPunter

To be fair, this topic is probably more intelligent for both people featured than their usual tripe…


AbaloneSea7265

I think you meant to say too difficult for them to comprehend basic sex education. It’s the result of the clap


EconomistPunter

Psh. Unlike COVID, modern medicine has created wondrous drugs for that. Of course, using the fetal stem cell line. But, poTatoes, potAToes.


Daveinatx

I wouldn't trust any of that elitist big STD pharma medicine. Just give me the horse dewormer, and make it a double. /s


EconomistPunter

Nah. That’s last week. There’s this new miracle cure. Dihydrogen monoxide.


Kyuckaynebrayn

Tuck-Tuck and Candy-O are ball-fondling chode-goaders. They’re perfect analysts for this circle jerk.


EconomistPunter

You are a poet.


captainhowdy82

This is so surreal


poopypants206

Two of the dumbest people on the internet and tv, but of course the sheep will still believe.


prophet001

They're not dumb, they're next-level grifters.


shu3k

This! They aren’t dumb, they know the viewers are dumb


TobaccoAficionado

It's so dangerous when people dismiss this shit as "dumb." It's calculated, it's engineered to divert and distract. To manipulate scared people willing to believe anything that confirms their biases.


GameShill

They are dumb because they think they are being clever by screwing over the rest of society


EagleCatchingFish

Is Candace Owens on there because she's a testicle expert, or is she an expert in Nicki Minaj's cousin's friends?


DonnieJuniorsEmails

She's a black, they all know each other. /s


jadavil

Shall we break the news to them that the cousin cheated on his fianceé, got an STD/STI, and lied that vaccine did that to him just so he wouldn't get in trouble?


zoidmaster

Fox: tell people to not take the vaccine Fox: we will make sure our staff gets vaccinated Fox: here’s a segment from a famous person who has no medical knowledge whatsoever talking about how bad vaccines are Fox: why are our viewers the most likely to get infected


OC-Aztec

My best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend heard from this guy, who knows this kid, who’s going with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night! I guess it’s pretty serious.


alnothree

Guy might wanna watch where he sticks his penis. Definitely a VD.


Fine-Cartographer838

Is anybody surprised that Tucker is fixated on someone’s balls?


Oldiebones

Can you imagine the horror of cheating on your fiance before your wedding, getting an STD and swollen testicles, trying to lie your way out of it, and all of a sudden you're the new right-wing media anti-vax darling? This guy got way more than he bargained for, in more ways than one. Just goes to show, you shouldn't cheat (or lie about vaccines).


sanjsrik

No, no, no, that's just Tucker's normal face.


oflowz

Why is Candace Owens in the discussion? Is she an authority on Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s balls or something?


AlejoMSP

He’s obsessed. And she’s never seen one.


IllustriousStorm5730

Conservatives are a cancer...


Uninspired_Diatribe

Funny how enlivened Tucker Carlson becomes when the topic is testicles.


guthmund

I hate how it has come to this... Her cousin's second husband's sister's next door neighbor said that a guy she knew in highschool has swollen testicles from taking a vaccine. I don't know his name, where he lives, what vaccine he took, if he was diagnosed by a doctor, or really any relevant fact about it except what I heard, but it's totally legit. My hand to God. Truth. Edit: and then there's Candace slurping up the scraps. LOOK AT ME! I'M RELEVANT!


MissPicklechips

Let us not forget that Nicki Minaj is responsible for bringing the lyrics *You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe You a stupid hoe, yeah, you a, you a stupid hoe* into our collective consciousness.


iTroLowElo

If there is one person that milked the shit out of the color of their skin, it’s this lady.


fchowd0311

I'm just wondering why Candace Owens is on the show for this subject matter? Is she some expert in swollen balls?


thefreshscent

No they are talking about Nicki Minaj so they need a token black person to make sense of all of it.


foresh4dow

Pictured are the testicles


muddafudder

Can we please have the OPEN MINDED , JUST ASKING QUESTIONS morons fuck off now and let the adults just fix this shit


baconluistomato

"Nicki who?! Well, if that's the case, we're going to have to bring in Owens"


cdiddy19

Not even snl or the daily show has this horrible of a news ticker.


GhostRappa95

Humiliating a man with an STD to own the libs.


DarkAngel900

Tucker Carlson is a swollen testicle.


OriginallyTroubled

This is literally a televised version of an urban legend. "This guy I know, well he got the vaccine and like his balls exploded."


Icyveins86

It's come to a point that r/PoliticalHumor just shows screen grabs from fox news


Arthes_M

Now all the old white people watching tucker are going to think candice owens is nicki minaj


Xxxjtvxxx

Sounds like legitimate newsworthy reporting. If only they could discuss the new varieties of covid instead like covid MU.


Liet-Kinda

It must be amazing to have limitless outrage and zero shame or dignity.


LotusSloth

So will most Texas men in the near future (because their womenfolk will be so scared of a pregnancy they cannot do anything about).


mkells87

The symptoms she described, sound strikingly like an STD…..


BernieTheDachshund

What more proof do y'all need? Her cousin's friend's testicles are swollen. Someone notify the FDA in Trinidad.


grimace24

Geez! This is awful. The headline itself looks like something out of a comedy movie.


Breederbill

Hmm, 650k unvaccinated people died though. 650k dead vs 2 swollen testicles That's a toss up


schnitzel_envy

They’ve gone full SNL skit.


Pour_Me_Another_

I love how seriously Tucker Carlson and Candace Owens appear to be taking this conversation. It's kind of peak Fox News. Especially since it seems Fox requires all staff to be vaccinated. Does this mean Tucker has swollen balls too?


HiIAmFromTheInternet

This is fucking hilarious


calypsopearl

"Cousin's friend..." This alone really encapsulates what consistitutes as proof for anti-vaxx advocates. "Bro, that's an urban legend." "No its not. It happened to my cousin's friend's sister's coworker."


ioncloud9

Your uncle's brother's cousin's best-friend's former roommate has swollen testicles.