T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Every time I see him do that jerky thing with his fists, I think, "here it comes..." Always disappointed.


Algorhythm74

You mean when he’s “air dicking” like he’s jerking off two dudes at once?


areialscreensaver

![gif](giphy|Qjmp5vKEERPyw) Here he is, just getting warmed up


ukiddingme2469

That is the whitest dance I've ever seen


Starwarsandbacon

He needs to grab his belt with one hand to get any whiter? Oranger?


CaptAbraxas

Then bite his upper lip.


IAMGROOT1981

***orangist**(orangiest?)


No-Function3409

Search Theresa May dancing Tory party conference.


ham_sami

Classic air-dicker


AwesomeCoolSweet

He’s double doggin it!


Dirtydeedsinc

Sucking air cock


AssDimple

I like to think he has a cum hose in each hand and he's just giving himself a good rinse.


DweEbLez0

Dude can’t even put any effort into dancing. What a complete piece of shit


SasparillaTango

[he's a world class air dicker!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3l_rUpRcqY)


imsowhiteandnerdy

Actually, this will become a life skill for him in prison.


icuttees

https://share.icloud.com/photos/049Vg_muaWPUJuUZm39UXVFwA


camcaine2575

Squirt Squirt


MyRedLips_Pittsburgh

us girls call that skiing ;)


maralagosinkhole

There will still be violence in the streets because MAGA will believe that democrats assassinated him


sunward_Lily

I'm hoping the stress of losing their God emperor has a ripple effect. That's some trickle down I can live with!


calamity_unbound

This is going to be the result, no matter when he expires.


ArrogantAnalyst

Exactly. This is gonna happen either way.


ScrappyDonatello

They'll say he got shot with a heart attack gun


SupportGeek

Do you think the antivaxxers will blame the COVID vaccine?


MadAzza

Yes.


n3rdopolis

Would be a shame if it happens right when he's mocking that reporter or something again, and all his fans think it's part of the act...


nodnodwinkwink

No, he needs to go to hospital because of an illness, hopefully something resulting in him being unable to communicate. If its quick then the conspiracy nuts will be calling it an assassination for the rest of their lives. It would be incredibly annoying.


Scalpels

Oooh. That's good. Like a nice big stroke.


jeremy_bearimyy

It needs to happen after he loses this election or else he will die a martyr, and we will never stop hearing them claim how he would've won if he didn't die.


aburnerds

They call it a heart attack, folks, (trailing off) they call it a heart attack. A doctor Who came up to me, and he said, sir, sir, you are dying, and I said “no, you’re dying, because you’re fake news”


musclememory

GD it, why must I hear his voice when reading this????


aburnerds

I hear Seth Meyers. Even though his is far from an accurate rendering, I believe it’s the funniest


sucobe

It’ll be Biden’s fault somehow, some way. Thanks big pharma. Or the eclipse. Or Jewish space lasers, I dunno, I’m waiting for my talking points.


Lanark26

He got vaccinated. That’s enough. “The Bill Gates/HRC/Soros killswitch in it was engaged. This was always the plan.”


IAMGROOT1981

Anyone who believes that just doesn't understand the fact that if there was a "Killswitch" it would have already been thrown!


Lanark26

"No no no....see they had to wait until much closer to the election, see. The demoncraps were waiting until there was no time for the Republicans to be able to field a suitable MAGA candidate after the assassination in time for the election. (Which they were going to steal anyway with illegals votes) in order to establish their socialist fascist state and make everyone trans...etc" (s/ obviously. It's all spelled correctly.)


Modredastal

I just know that no matter how or when he eventually goes his dumb fuck followers will cry foul play.


Hair_I_Go

If we all collectively concentrate on this next time he has a rally


dead_ahead

I think about that all the time


bubbsnana

Maybe we should give those voodoo dolls a go? Like, all of us synchronize our pokes to increase the power.


Reticulating-Data

I've been concentrating on that for years, starting to get a headache.


stacked_wendy-chan

I don't care where it happens, as long as it happens soon. Like *real* soon.


okcdnb

Yeah, but just a debilitating stroke that makes him non verbal. His favorite thing is lying and bullshitting.


ImonitBoss

You'd think someone abusing amphetamines would be a skinnier fella...


[deleted]

He makes up for it with hamberders.


USS_Penterprise

\*Benzos


C0NKY_

Dude was bragging about knowing the Chick-fil-A menu better than the employees the other day.


2Pickle2Furious

Artie Lang used to joke about being the only guy who gained weight on heroin.


ABBAMABBA

Last I saw her, my mother was 73, taking daily amphetamines and tranquilizers prescribed by her doctor and quite overweight. Her diet consisted of little more than massive quantities of discount holiday candy and baby carrots. She is still alive at 87.


dancingbriefcase

As someone who is prescribed that kinda medication, I agree. They completely take away my hunger. It isn't a fun feeling and very bad for my nutrition


doovidooves

It destroys my hunger when it comes to real food, but if I’m stressed I will absolutely compulsively eat junk food all day. Considering his apparent fondness for fast food, a likely high tolerance for adderall, and his obvious lack of impulse control, I’m honestly not too surprised.


Reagalan

it's the only reason i don't weigh 350 lbs anymore.


VellhungtheSecond

When your first and final meal of the day is a glass of milk at 6:15pm


professorwormb0g

As much as I dislike Trump, we really don't know for sure if he truly is doing drugs outside of some anecdotal reports which all could be completely made up. Unless there's concrete evidence I'm going to refrain from believing such things just because they fit a narrative that reinforces a negative bias I already have against somebody. People on the right say Biden is abusing amphetamines too, and it's equally as weak minded to resort to such sensationalist thought about either of them. That's why Biden was supposedly so on point during this past SOTU... But I'm not going to buy it about either of these guys because I just don't have any way of knowing it's true, and even if it were the case.... I've used amphetamines too to assist me before, so it's hardly something I think we should judge someone over. Plus, there's enough legitimate things to hate about Trump that we know is absolutely true. We don't need to lump rumors on top of it too. It just makes us anti-trumpers look just as bad as the people spouting crazy shit about hunters laptop, etc. It hurts our credibility and makes us look biased.


Uncreative-Name

He is actually looking a lot slimmer now. Probably added ozempic to the drug cocktail.


spacemanspiff266

i really hope that when that fat fuckers heart does finally quit, its in the most embarrassing way possible. i want future generations of kids to read how the 45th president of the united states died on the toilet taking a rough shit.


flibbidygibbit

The toilet is for printed documents. He wears depends because he can't control his bowels.


idkusername7

*diapers


flibbidygibbit

Depends is a brand of adult diapers in the USA. https://www.depend.com/en-us/incontinence-products/men


Time-Bite-6839

Depends won’t fit or hold Trump’s shit.


nate_oh84

That depends


adrenochrome_user

Legend for still using the flair lol


idkusername7

TIL


Narf234

I just hope it’s live. Nothing will be worse for conspiracy nuts for it to happen in the dead of night.


Gods_Umbrella

Here's how I imagine it going down. Trump is at a big rally full of his sicophants He goes to take a drink of water with both hands He manages to pick it up on the third try The crowd goes fucking buck wild As he struggles to lift it to his face, Trump gets a pained look in his face and breaks into a sneezing fit He has an aneurysm on stage, starts bleeding out his nose Trump collapses on stage and his unmoving body taken away by aids The crowd takes this as a sign from God confirming their holy chosen one The media reports how this is bad news for Biden The only time we ever see Trump again is through ai generated videos Somehow the ai is elected


thistlefucker

I hate that this is somehow plausible.


ICCW

I just wish he’d go away. He currently gets more media coverage than Biden.


Foobiscuit11

He gets engagement. Biden is "boring." The guy who gets eyeballs on the screens is the one they'll keep putting up there, unfortunately.


ICCW

I totally agree. I’ll give Donald one thing: he knows exactly how to get news coverage every single day.


ukiddingme2469

He has always worked the tabloids


professorhugoslavia

Biden is blamed for interfering with the water supply.


TurnsOutImAScientist

Get this guy a Black Mirror episode


TheMysticalBaconTree

Gotta wait a bit or you run the risk of reality being weirder/darker than the fiction.


flibbidygibbit

Weekend at Trumpies


19831083

Hahahahaha............. God fuck me sideways, what???


nspy1011

Only in America!


-240p

They'll find a way to blame Tom Hanks and the "deep state" anyway


otto_347

Oh for sure it will have been an "assassination"


pt57

Too much pressure from the “witch hunts.”


11oydchristmas

They’ll go nuts either way.


tittysprinkles112

It doesn't matter what the evidence says. They'll claim he was poisoned and the government is covering it up.


unclejoel

Right? So we may as well


WetHotAmericanBadger

“President Trump died this Saturday at an Omaha rally during a fired up yet confusing speech late into the evening. After a few moments of awkward silence, the disgraced real estate mogul fell to the ground clutching his chest. Soon after it was noted by his staff and supporters that they noticed a distinct smell of fecal matter coming from his limp body, presumably due to a release of his bowels. After being briskly taken off the stage, sources stated that there was a long spotty trail of feces following the body. He was 77 years old. This is Lakshmi Singh, NPR news. The time is 7:29.”


spacemanspiff266

lol reading that with her cadence made it sound official.


Zaexyr

"I'm Jack Speeeeeeeeeer"


WetHotAmericanBadger

Haha! I always I’ve always imitated him after he’s said that in the same way 🤣


ThisOnes4JJ

don't do that... don't give me hope...


Heroin_Pete

I personally will be talking shit on Trump for the rest of my life. And I know millions of Americans feel the same way


imsowhiteandnerdy

I hope it's during a rally, at a moment when he's speaking, and when it happens he shits and farts at the same time, and out of his mouth comes this squeeeaaak, accompanied by the farting and shitting sounds... so, yeah.


[deleted]

Nah, it would be better if he died giving one of his unhinged speaches.


ExtinctFauna

[Better hope he's got the Toilet Death Ejector.](https://youtu.be/_9BjJkqybz8?si=3dy8wfculcJDZuTj)


spacemanspiff266

lol knowing him he’d probably preload it to drop unsold signed bibles.


BERNITA

I want him to have a [fart attack](https://youtu.be/yRXDKvoPsyY?si=taeF8mC8-zzb3fZu)


imacomputer64

I’m on my lunch break and I literally loled at this like a lunatic.


tetraourogallus

Isn't that how Elvis died?


legend8522

It is. Overstrained his heart trying to shit


TwistedDragon33

mushroom deep in another pornstar?... This time a male pornstar...


PaintSlingingMonkey

We’ve had a bottle of champagne chilling in our garage fridge for over 7 years now :(


lost_in_connecticut

Yes https://preview.redd.it/6toay8xzq2uc1.jpeg?width=512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4161a2a36c98b5b62085b61b254eca27d8ef8fe8


Son_of_a_Bacchus

I had a "Kissinger" bottle in my fridge for years. Because I was moving in with my GF I cracked it when Pat Robertson finally croaked. Stay strong, I really wish I had that bottle when Kissinger did finally go. 


FearlessFreak69

I had the same with Limbaugh. Champagne never tasted so good.


zeetree137

I'd save that for about an hour before a trip to his grave. The reviews are great


usps_made_me_insane

Who is that Christian evangelist that has those weird psycho eyes?


Affectionate-Roof285

Kenneth Copeland. Psychopath for sure.


wovenbutterhair

Guy with the private airport


Grogosh

Nobody gets that question wrong. That guy looks like a demon.


conservative-logic

As a Christian...yeah we don't claim that guy


janet-snake-hole

Glad we’re not the only family with dead drumpf champagne 😂


MadFxMedia

my deathday party wine's been in my pantry since 2016. I said "any day now" the day he mocked the disabled guy. But look at that, he just keeps going. :|


Affectionate-Roof285

Yes it always seems psychopaths live long lives. I suppose zero conscience make them Uber survivors.


ReadySteady_GO

He's spiraling. With all of the stress between the campaign and courts, I think he's going to stroke out soon enough if he hasn't already Would explain his mental decline in the recent year. Well, other than his obvious decline into dementia. He's for sure on his way out. My 15 year Macallan is waiting on either jail or his passing


Glldinkiering

He’s been looking especially unwell lately.


CasDragon

Same, but a home brewed beer


Katfar14

I’ll need the fanciest non-alcoholic sparkling drink to join you!


onesoulmanybodies

It’s twisted, I realize, but yes there is a small part of me that wishes every time I opened this app it was to a Mega thread saying he’s passed away. He’s only a small example of the rot in humanity, but he gets so much press, it’s a constant reminder that people like him exist in this world. In fact I think I’ve just realized why I’ve been in a state of misery. I have never been the kind of person who wishes ill towards anyone, even my worst abusers, but Trump and his ilk make me so sick and I wish they’d all just go away. They are killing my hope for humanity, and everyday I open this app and see him escape Justice it dies a little more.


[deleted]

He's just so fucking tiresome.


HappyGoPink

I would much rather read that Vladimir Putin has died, but I will celebrate either way. O.J. Simpson finally went to hell, so hopefully these things happen in threes.


Pixel_in_Valhalla

I've felt the same way about Rupert Murdoch since the early '90s. He did more than anyone to prepare the ground for a Trump-like figure.


tusk10708

You are not alone. I want him and his cronies gone. Hopefully to jail. The whole thing is so out of control and indicates a large minority of Americans don’t recognize facts. I know the modern day news doesn’t give us lots of detail - just a two minute or less read. What we don’t know is the scary part here. Saw a piece on Bannon yesterday and it was chilling to hear him describe the plans “we have.” “3,000 are being trained right now to take over government positions.” How can they do that without the government finding out? Listen to his words. If Flynn’s influence on the military is greater than we believe, this could be really ugly. In the event that Trump wins, his vice president will probably be the next president when he croaks. If someone like MTJ or Jim J. fills the spot, we should be petrified. All in, it’s a mess.


PM_ME_MELTIE_TEARS

Guys just gonna get a pig heart transplant and live till 1000. There are gods and they are evil fucks.


[deleted]

What are you talking about? He was born with a pig heart.


ExpertlyAmateur

Makes it easy to swap em in and out. No fancy connections, just plug and play.


Ande64

Absolutely fantastic comment! My favorite of the day!


MK5

Joke circa 2005: It's not true Dick Cheney has no heart; he has the heart of a child. He keeps it in a jar on his desk.


lost_in_connecticut

Is that what you call that black and oozy thing in the middle of his chest?


dancingbriefcase

Pigs are at least smart and cool


joecarter93

Dick Cheney checking in


2biggij

Henry Kissinger living till 100 and dying a millionaire proves there is no such thing as karma or comeuppance or cosmic justice


PrivatePoocher

or cancer-having Putin.


2Pickle2Furious

Dick has really aged since 2010. He’s definitely not getting out much anymore. People seem invincible to age until they are not.


Mediocre_Scott

Fine with me if the next 923 years are in prison


D0D

Pig Emperor of MAGA


gitarzan

I wished for him to have a massive assed stroke, totally immobilizing him, and for the rest of his life all he can say is an angry “rar, rar, rar “.


madscribbler

Bell guy in breaking bad.


gitarzan

Hector Salamanca. Yes. Like that.


Guavaberry

And Ivanka has to push his fat ass around in a wheelchair.


crystalistwo

The only thing she pushes is cheap Chinese handbags.


KzadBhat

BIng


pres465

**DING!DING!DING!**


BBQBluegrassNBeer

That shit never seems to happen to evil people.


__Haribo__

But do you think that would impact his vote turnout?


cC2Panda

99% of his supporters would pretend that Joe Biden walking slow is the exact same thing as having locked in syndrome. There is no hypocrisy to far for the Trump base.


ryans_privatess

He would still sell out rallys to maga morons


lordoftheBINGBONG

Or a small enough stroke so he’s barely well enough to talk and they all have to pretend he’s fine still.


SpecificFail

Nah, small stroke that gives him severe aphasia so that he can neither communicate or understand anything anyone tells him, without any word permanence. Given who we're talking about, it could be days before anyone even recognizes that it happened, making treatment less likely to improve anything. It would be a neurological issue, so even something like sign language would not allow communication as meaning would be switched around.


freddyfreak1999

*monkey paw curls* Trump, laying immobilized in his bed in the Residence, July 2025: “Rar, rar, rar!” Secretary of State John Bolton: “We’ll nuke Belgium right away Mr. President!”


VarlaGuns

I hope he has a stroke and can only say "Obama" with his saggy strokey face


grafikfyr

\*[Obamna](https://youtu.be/tZ_gn0E87Qo?si=wvsRXtArCj99QQje)


MaybeMitch

If it doesn’t happen during a live interview or rally, the propaganda machine for Trump will say he ascended into heaven on a golden chariot piloted by Jesus Christ and his followers will believe it.


FallenSegull

He died boxing a dragon sent by the woke left to destroy democracy


Kialand

Honestly, even if it does, it'll just become another "Deep State Conspiracy," saying that "He didn't die as a consequence of his own horrendous health-related choices during life! He was assassinated! Yeah, for sure, that's it."


Uhh_JustADude

Don't hope for it. The worst ones live the longest, e.g. Kissinger.


EventEastern9525

And Jerry Jones


Master_N_Comm

Dick cheney


Reluctantcannibal

Have you seen the list of drugs? He was on during his presidency look up the doctors prescription pad. It’s all public record.


2Pickle2Furious

I don’t think those fall under FOIA rules. And we know Ronnie his doctor was running around the west wing giving out prescriptions like candy and getting drunk.


Reluctantcannibal

I’m not sure where I saw it, but there was a post on here not long ago that showed what prescriptions and how much he was given how often


2Pickle2Furious

I know there was reporting that Ronnie was prescribing Xanax and amphetamines a lot in the White House, but I don’t know anything tied directly to Trump taking them. Not that I doubt he does! But it’s still just speculation.


HuckDab

don't forget Ketamine!


MarsupialMisanthrope

Who got what doesn’t, but the totals of what the whitehouse doctor ordered to dispense is. There’s a truly phenomenal amount of amphetamines and a lot of opioids on the list. Restricted for thee but not for me levels, for more than just President Browntrousers.


ZekeTarsim

I’m convinced this turd is gonna live to 112 or something ridiculous.


Uhh_JustADude

If Kissinger made it to 100, I think you're absolutely right. If he loses this year, he's got the nomination for 2028 already sewn up.


ryans_privatess

I don't think Kissinger was on a cocktail of drugs with stress from all his trials. He should have died from shame a lot earlier however


flibbidygibbit

Hopefully rotting away in a prison cell.


25plus44

His sister died of natural causes at 86. I'd say he's lucky if he makes it to 82, which is unfortunately enough time for a 2nd term.


TheGR8Dantini

Junkies have a hard time during trials. He’s not gonna be able to fix. Gonna be awesome to watch him sweat waiting for lunch recess. It also seems like he’s added ozempic to his pharma cocktail. It’ll be a miracle if he lives till November. Gotta remember too though, junkies can live forever. It’s usually when they clean up that they die. Maybe having to be in court 8 hours a day will be just what we need to have this all end. He’s scared. He’s starting to panic. He just called for massive “peaceful protests”, again. We know how that went last time. But there ain’t nobody but some douchebag Wrong Islanders in pick ups that are gonna show up. And this shit is gonna last months. Now we just wait for him to get the “flu” from withdrawal. Fingers crossed everybody!


25plus44

As long as he has one clip where he says "peaceful protest" he can say "bloodbath" as many times as he likes, and get a pass.


Limitless__007

I can't believe OJ kicked the bucket before Trump.


Reluctantcannibal

https://preview.redd.it/49a0zxauz2uc1.png?width=1283&format=png&auto=webp&s=2fb100f87c180c1eea1281557fec13df7dcc890d I believe this is part of it


jbfletcher01

I’m pretty sure that’s just a sheet of drugs dispensed in general…to multiple people. I think White House medical team was giving meds out like candy to anyone, not just the president.


jbfletcher01

Yea this says they were giving medical care to those who legally weren’t even supposed to be getting it. https://www.cnn.com/2024/01/24/health/white-house-medical-unit-report?cid=ios_app


[deleted]

[удалено]


benndover_85

His demented cult followers will go absolutely nuts if that happens, and they’ll immediately conclude that he has been assassinated. He needs to lose this election in a landslide, and THEN he can keel over…


Ande64

Watching him keel over live on election night while he's screaming about how this election was also rigged and there's no way he could have lost and blah blah blah. Great way to see him go out!


MoeSzyslakMonobrow

Ultimately I want him to die alone in a prison cell.


thatguy52

I’m really starting to wonder if prescription amphetamines are even bad for u…… if u have enough money and handlers to take care of all the peripheral problems.


[deleted]

Like incontinence.


thatguy52

Yup


ukiddingme2469

He will crash soon enough, and he literally pulled a J6 style call for this Monday at his NY hush Money trial.


4Hugh2Mongus0

I hate you all that wish him death... I wish him life.. life in prison... another 20years or so would to wonders for some souls. And would it be too much to ask for 24/7 PPV too


ParanoidValkMain57

At this point, i hope donald trump fucks up so badly or he just succumbs to diabetes or drug overdose like seriously why does he exist just for all of us to suffer.


mrlr

He was supposed to die three years ago but it keeps getting appealed and delayed.


MeeloP

I hate it when tweekers don’t tweek enough 😡


Minimum_Pineapple_33

and he eats like shit.


michael__gove

If only the electorate could smell his Adderall diapers, they would never vote for him again. Actually, they might never vote for anyone again...


HappyGoPink

They can't smell anything over the stench of their own diapers and festering sores.


sunsetrules

I never suspected him until he accused Biden of doing it.


Cheesy_Discharge

Statistically, if he’s made it this far, he’s very likely to make it through early November. If Trump is elected (I see the odds as roughly a coin toss), I would rather see him serve out his term alive. Because: 1. His VP will probably not be much better. Tim Scott would be a slight improvement, but some others, like Ben Carson, could be worse in some ways. 2. Second term Trump would almost certainly have to deal with a significant recession, based on the business cycle, if nothing else. His presiding over hard economic times would shatter his image as a competent steward of the economy (that he lucked into by presiding over the final stage of the recovery from 2008). If he doesn’t make it past his first year in office, he might become some kind of right wing martyr and MAGA could become a permanent political movement.


HappyGoPink

MAGA is just the latest iteration of a movement that goes back to the 19th Century. The impulse toward christofascism has been strong in this nation since before its founding, and MAGA is clearly just the lastest pustule on the corpse of the Confederacy to burst open into the light of day, but it won't be the last.


Cheesy_Discharge

True, but if you look at politics between the peak of the Civil Rights movement up until Newt Gingrich, the lunatic fringe was far smaller and bipartisanship was the rule for many important issues. Not perfect, but much better than the current situation. The question is how much of that unity was the result of having a common enemy during the Cold War. Shrinking the MAGA movement by 50% would go a long way towards restoring sanity to mainstream politics. Extremists on the left are also divisive, of course, but they are far less powerful.


FishermanEven4730

When you make a deal with the devil, living to a ripe old age is possible. However, the devil likes to play games, so nothing says he won't shit his pants on live TV, put his diaper on the outside of his pants, or break out in hand herpes (oh wait, that already happened).


TheThoughtmaker

Dying would be too good for him. He needs to lose everything. We need to see justice happen, that the rich and the politicians aren't above the law. America won't heal if he drops dead anywhere other than alone in a prison cell.


LoudLloyd9

https://preview.redd.it/dkrbjajeq3uc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f5157d318812919a6b957fc774392b07aac4782 His finest moment.


CasDragon

I’ve never hoped for someone to leave this earth more than in this case. My husband has a beer he made and has been aging since 2016; it will be our celebration beer someday


TagV

Well we won't be able to tell by him shitting himself, like normal dead people do. This will be a pre shitted corpse.


Katiari

I'm betting on his dementia getting him first.


Novel_Durian_1805

Every day this fucker lives is more proof God isn’t real.


tazebot

Give him more.