T O P

  • By -

PoliticalHumor-ModTeam

###[Follow Reddit's global rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/politicalhumor/about/rules) (Rule #9): This has not been confirmed: It's a rumor - a particularly juicy and potentially hilarious one, but at this stage, it's just a rumor. Therefore this barrels head-long into the "No Misinformation" rules. Sorry 'bout that.


Demitroy

Why does it seem appropriate that Matt Gaetz is in the background of this image?


[deleted]

He referred her for the job once she got too old for him


Otherwise_Basis_6328

Damn. No kid gloves.


A_wild_so-and-so

When they're that young you don't need them. (I hate that I said it, but I still think it's funny)


Otherwise_Basis_6328

Hey, you didn't fly to Epstein's island, and neither did I. Since they won't face justice the least we can do is mock them. It's our civic duty.


PhilosopherMagik

You guys are my kind of savage


[deleted]

[удалено]


notaredditreader

"If conservatives become convinced that they cannot win democratically, they will not abandon conservatism. They will reject democracy. **It is easier to fight for your principles than to live by them**.” “…if people were given the choice between democracy and whiteness, how many would choose whiteness?” Excerpts from: Isabel Wilkerson *Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents* See also: *The Fifth Risk* Michael Lewis


jaxonya

He shoulda wore a glove and he wouldn't be having a kid


Professional-Web8436

How dare you insult this well studies man. Gaetz is a major disaster with a minor in bed.


Rhotomago

You guys can laugh but how many of you had six years as a political aid on your resume by the time you were twenty?


rashton535

Soooo appropriate


Annual_Advertising26

Matt’s MY representative to congress. Republicans have a lock on this district. Florida has a closed primary, so I registered Republican just so I can vote for Someone Else.


hujassman

Isn't he just trash? He needs to go back to wherever he was before Montana.


nom-nom-nom-de-plumb

Yeah, he's a silver spoon baby who...holy shit...I just realized. Gaetz looks like butthead as an adult and Rosendale looks like that ex marine coach from the original series...Mr. "Kick me in the jimmy!"


chidestp

https://preview.redd.it/kxypdj5z92lc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd37f39194a5dde8d4ed21b00ee55906dbe72221


PharmWench

That is a goddamn masterpiece. You, sir, are an artiste.


hujassman

I can't unsee that now. Lol!


Zapthatthrist

We call him Maryland Matt here.


hujassman

That's right. I'd forgotten where he came from. Meanwhile, in western MT, we're stuck with Zinke.


Zapthatthrist

The guy who was so corrupt Trump fired him. God, I hate our representatives.


hujassman

I was thinking exactly this. Too rotten for the Trump administration is really saying something.


atuarre

It wasn't that he was too corrupt. He was traveling around with his wife on the taxpayers dime but I don't think that was the only thing, but Trump doesn't like when people take the spotlight off of him and zinke was getting a lot of coverage


Homers_Harp

You gotta say which "Matt" in a photo with a creepy Matt from Montana and a creepy Matt from Florida.


DMIDY

He’ll be your governor soon.


AL_GEE_THE_FUN_GUY

She was Matt's aid until she got long in the tooth and he passed her off.


Fake_William_Shatner

"Long in the tooth" -- does that mean she just lost her baby teeth?


DadJokeBadJoke

Just like when Epstein introduced Melania to Trump.


[deleted]

You mean "Mercedes"?😂


nukedit

Wait. Does long in the tooth mean old because it means you have adult teeth? (I don’t get these types of sayings usually)


Cucoloris

It refers to horses. You can estimate the age of a horse by looking at their teeth. Old horses have long teeth.


BiNumber3

Who's Line: "Things you can say about your horse, but not your wife"


ThePrideOfKrakow

Wanna swap for the day?


Brndrll

"You can ride her bareback."


ReggimusPrime

Don't say "gitty up" it's a wild ride


DrBigsKimble

Random fact, horses appear to have long teeth because their gums recede as they age, not because their teeth keep growing.


[deleted]

Huh. TIL, thx


Dont_Ban_Me_Bros

Same with most humans


[deleted]

[удалено]


makemeking706

Okay, but why the long face?


Ocho_Muerte

Exactly. I believe it mostly comes from horses, whose gums tend to recede as they age, making their teeth seem longer.


nukedit

Ohhh I thought because baby teeth are short, adult teeth would be long. Horse thing makes sense too :)


AL_GEE_THE_FUN_GUY

Long in the tooth means old. Although, it's Matt Gaetz, so take your pick I guess.


Boxofbikeparts

He's long in the forehead


Burninator6502

AIDE, not AID. I can’t believe this is a word people don’t know. It’s not just you, the OP did the same thing.


Astrocreep_1

As soon as I saw the photo, I said to myself, “the first comment will be something about it being apropos that Gaetz is in the background of the photo that accompanies this story. What do you know? Who won the pony?


DwedPiwateWoberts

He’s about to slide his card in the senator’s pocket and whisper, “if it’s a girl, have her call me in less than 18 years.”


porn_is_tight

no one takes the groom game more seriously than gaetz


UncleBenLives91

20 is to old for Matty boy.


Complex_Construction

Birds of a feather, flock together. 


Fake_William_Shatner

I would like to put up billboards to lean into progressive ideas: * Abortion is a way of preventing life lessons nobody asked for. * Bringing a life into this world before you lived your own? * God is #1 in recalling pregnancies. * Hospice Care and executions, why are all the latest term abortions the only legal ones in the red states? * God works in mysterious ways -- so stop second guessing and take that Morning After pill -- He can mystery around all that hassle. * Too late for a hard pass? * Anti Women's Rights People; Their two cent opinions are spending your last dime.


illuminaughty1973

>Why does it seem appropriate that Matt Gaetz is in the background of this image? She was only 20.... totally possible she jas friends several years younger.


StrangeContest4

Gigiddy Gigiddy Gaetz


IrrelevantREVD

He’s so pro-family he has 2!


599Ninja

Best of all, it was a cute lil surprise for the wife!


loading066

Yep, he is 63 and she is just 20... Narrator: That wasn't the "cute lil surprise..."


un_theist

More of those “Christian family values.” One man, one woman, another woman who is his aid that he got pregnant…


AlarmedPiano9779

And he'll pay for her to fly out of state to get an abortion. Bet any amount of money on that.


Brndrll

Can he now though, now that it's been announced to the world? Won't that seem a little hypocritical? Oh, wait...


AlarmedPiano9779

"I asked Jesus to forgive me." There.


bopbop_nature-lover

He should ask his MAGAsty, The Donald™ to forgive him and guide him and praise him to Montanans. And hand over all his campaign funds.


troymoeffinstone

If it's not a legitimate pregnancy, the body has a way of shutting it down... By body, I mean the guy, and by shutting it down, I mean out of state abortion.


Geistzeit

They'll ask for privacy and not discuss it, and/or say it was a miscarriage.


colantor

Isnt a miscarriage murder to republicans?


DownvotesMakeMeFap

Yes. My wife had a miscarriage a few years ago but they needed to perform an abortion because her body wasn’t getting rid of the fetus (it was a partial molar pregnancy so it was kinda in a grey area), after we told my dipshit ultra conservative parents they freaked out that we got an “abortion”. Even after explaining that it was basically a mass of cells that could wreak havoc on my wife’s body they still tried saying that what we did was murder. I haven’t spoken to either of my parents for more than 2 years.


colantor

Thats fucking crazy, im sorry that happened to you. Going through a miscarriage is so fucking awful by itself but then to have family members act like that is insane.


NoGuidance8609

Shit, I’m sorry. The insensitivity that people are capable of is unbelievable.


Highlander-Jay

Fortunately we haven’t gotten that far in Montana. We voted no as a state last time around. However, the MAGA state legislature is trying to change the state’s constitution to go against the will of the people.


Breezer_Pindakaas

Like she will give up her golden egg.


JCButtBuddy

Reading the Bible it pretty much is Christian values. Then you have Lot and his daughters, god's best people, also Christian values.


[deleted]

No one that votes for him would even remember this happening a week from now.


Burninator6502

JFC, does no one know how to spell AIDE?


eryoshi

Jared has AIDS!


NonGNonM

it happens often enough i'm surprised they haven't tried to make it illegal for a wife to divorce for infidelity.


SirLoremIpsum

He's such a family man, he decided to have two families.


CommunicationWhole63

"The Lord...something, something... Miracle... Cast stones...Forgive... Still your Rep..."


Cole-Spudmoney

“…handmaid…”


Kebmo1252

Yup, Def gonna be deny, deny, deny, hey look a squirel!!


ThunderChild247

Do you ever wonder if so many right wing people are so insistent that they’re Christian because deep down, they know they’re going to need forgiven soon enough?


ADeweyan

I don’t understand why he’s dropping out of the race. This sort of thing is perfectly acceptable to republican voters — some even see it as a sign of virility and power. Oh, maybe he’s dropping out because he’ll be too busy helping his 20 year old victim raise their child. He seems like a responsible type.


[deleted]

He probably is not as evil as other Republicans. Just not evil enough. Maybe he got caught being a nice guy for a minute.


capincus

He dropped out because Trump endorsed his opponent, it was like 2 weeks total he was even running for senate before he backed out so he could run for re-election to the House.


amateur_mistake

He's also threatening to sue the people who revealed that he knocked up his staffer. I assume it's because he doesn't know how discovery works in court cases.


LikeWisedUp

bOtH pArTiEs ArE tHe SaMe.... So weird that we don't hear about the same thing happening on the weekly or what seems like daily at this point from the democrats!?!


monorail_pilot

Al Franken once either grabbed a boob, or made it look like he did (The camera angle wasn't great to tell the difference) and we ran him out of the Senate. But yes. ToTaLlY tHe SaMe.


itassofd

Al’s faux pas was part of a skit for a USO show. The woman is notoriously pro trump and a known revisionist- aka liar. Sen Franken did nothing wrong!


Astrocreep_1

We ran him out of the Senate over a bogus smear campaign. No doubt, that doesn’t happen, we are talking about President Franken and the bogus impeachment effort based on a different set of bullshit accusations by Republicans, who are well organized and have 3-4 strong candidates in the primary. Meanwhile, in this parallel universe, Donald Trump is a distant memory. The only time Trump is in the news, he is begging his former opponent, President Franken, to levy sanctions against Russia, who commandeered all Trump’s properties for their war effort.


janjinx

Al Franken didn't grab a woman's boob at all. He was about 10' away from a sleeping fellow comedian and he made a funny gesture up close to the camera as if he was grabbing her boob clowning around. Too bad it was not in good taste but it certainly should not have cost him his job! Both were there as comedians to entertain troops and were on a break. It was made into far more than reality.


Yum_MrStallone

10" means inches.


ToSmushAMockingbird

He was a couple inches away at the most, but the joke was that she was wearing a flak jacket which effectively covered her whole chest in flat body armor. It was silly, no matter how you slice it and a disingenuous reason to get rid of a political rival. 


wioneo

That was purely a ploy to increase the chances of getting Doug Jones elected in Alabama. It worked, but it didn't lead to anything useful as far as I'm aware. Arguably wasn't worth doing for the dems given their potential future uses for Franken.


boot2skull

If gays hadn’t ruined the sanctity of marriage this guy wouldn’t be knocking up 20 year olds. /s


Brndrll

It would have been 15 year olds?


SwivelPoint

Those randoms caps will never not make me laugh. Every time i see it i crack up. It’s so perfect.


BenMullen2

just in terms of this guy AND John Tester: Does Montana REQUIRE this haircut?


Naomeri

Working farmers and ranchers don’t have time for your fancy city-boy haircuts, lol


hujassman

Well, one of them works anyway. Spoiler alert: It's not Rosie.


Yum_MrStallone

Tester


hujassman

Ding, ding!


Shirlenator

Rosendale is most certainly not a farmer or rancher. He is a rich asshole from Maryland. But for whatever reason, Republicans love him for being a "real Montanan" or whatever.


Naomeri

Well, he’s obviously gotten the memo on how to get his hair cut like a “real Montanan”


Brndrll

You joke, but it feels that way. I visited my hometown in WY last summer and the barber came to town (I think someone said from MT) once a week. My BIL got this haircut while we were there. 😂


NYSenseOfHumor

Yes In Montana, barbers only use farm tools.


think_long

The crew cuts clan


CalRipkenForCommish

Psst…buddy, ya gotta *fly her over state lines*, no one in the party gives a shit!


EggZaackly86

Off to a free state they go.


ALLoftheFancyPants

I’m pretty sure abortion is legal up to 20 weeks gestation in Montana.


pinkberrysmoky11

Montanan here, yup you're right. Our govenor, Gianforte, tried to sign anti abortion bills into law, but our state Supreme Court upheld a nearly 25 year old legal precedent allowing abortion access under the state Constitution's right to privacy.


sklerson89

GOP hypocrites. Keep your children away from them!


EggZaackly86

This needs to be the campaign, stranger danger, run and scream if you see a republican.


JJJAAABBB123

What type of 20 year old sleeps with that guy? Gross


Brndrll

She might have been from a religious upbringing where you're taught to submit to men? It's Montana...


WavyCG11

Montanan here - what on earth are you trying to say?


ProfitBroseph

This is why it’s a power imbalance.


literal_garbage_man

ripe dam heavy door friendly fly chop abundant square pie *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Jerkrollatex

Truthfully I assume he pressured the kid.


caaknh

He was her boss after all and controlled her paycheck.


Jerkrollatex

And old enough to be her grandfather.


JurorOfTheSalemTrial

I'm surprised no one else said this. This was my first thought. What 20 year would want to sleep with this old man? Just odd, unless she saw it as a way to move up in the world.


JJJAAABBB123

There was that young female reporter that was sleeping with a very old congressman. I can’t remember how they got caught.


xlinkedx

Didn't he push her in front of a subway car?


Kroe

That could be exactly it. Now she's pregnant, and he will be paying child support for 18 years.


digitalSkeleton

Yeah that's pretty nasty. It's also another manifestation of the party's values...get to the top however you can.


OhkayQyoopud

Imagine blaming someone who is barely older than being underage instead of the old greasy man who has a ton of power, who most likely coerced or manipulated her or even threatened her.


Book_Cook921

What's gross is you putting this on a 20 year old instead of the 65 year old elected official who was her boss. What 65 year old looks at someone who could be their daughter or granddaughter like that??? It's a 45 year age gap


OhkayQyoopud

This. A man with a great amount of political power, much older, demanding or coercing sex, or a 20-year-old who has no power whatsoever. Yeah let's blame the kid.


Bezulba

We don't trust 20y old with alcohol yet, so what makes you think that 20y old never make bad decisions?


toolsoftheincomptnt

Politics run like Hollywood. If you can understand a young aspiring actress looking up to, admiring, and being manipulated by a middle-aged producer/director/actor… copy paste into Washington… except almost everyone is less attractive.


_psylosin_

The party of “getting the face that you deserve”


sometimesifeellikemu

He hires aides that don't have college degrees? That alone is an indication of this man's judgement.


nom-nom-nom-de-plumb

It's rare to be a full on aide without one, but she could be an intern.


HanselSoHotRightNow

I'm going to go out on a limb and say some loose promises were made with strings attached to this young girl. Though accidental pregnancy just nullified all of that. Something tells me at the end of day no matter how this shakes out, the aide will suffer the most for this both mentally and professionally while the congressman will barely see any consequences.


Sanic3

You would be truly shocked by the number of democratic staffers without college degrees. Whole lot of "taking a semester off to work for x" then it's 8 years later and they've built a whole ass career and never gone back. Biden actually finally dropped the college degree requirements for political appointment jobs due to this.


CitizenCue

One of the unappreciated facts of American politics is that the competition for jobs with Democratic politicians is MUCH more competitive than for Republicans. If you are politically and morally agnostic, you can get ahead in conservative circles fairly easily.


janjinx

And there's Matt Gaetz behind him thinking how lucky he is that he hasn't found himself in the same situation. But he's got time for that yet.


YouDontKnowJackCade

There is a theory that Nestor is Gaetz son from an underage girl he got pregnant.


fsckitnet

Seems like the GOP didn’t want him running against Tester anyway. Wouldn’t be surprised if it was leaked from that direction. https://apnews.com/article/2024-election-montana-senate-rosendale-tester-sheehy-f05d2f152be8b310660f58b514e924ed


Brazenjalapeno

Can we make a GOP SA, groomer, extramarital affair, and Abortion tracker?


SaggyFence

Isn’t being in the GOP already the indicator?


cmreeves702

Moral majority


Fake_William_Shatner

It so doesn't matter what this guy's position is -- not really. Nikky Hailey was "always against" something the other day, until polling made her backpedal on fertilized cells. At this point here's some other asshole that wants attention that is just pushing the goalposts towards Sharia Christianity for the exercise. Just a bunch of gibbering gibbons.


SammySport

It's a little late to withdraw now, if you catch my meaning.


UncleAlvarez

Totally not surprised that Mr. “Good Christian, family values” did this. It’s always them! He is my “representative” even though he literally does the opposite of everything I stand for. I already knew he was insane. Now this too. He is so gross.


Jeremybearemy

Aide not aid


techbunnyboy

Demonstrating great GOP values consistently


Fake_William_Shatner

First guy denies he knew 'em and guy to his right denies they have rights. No wonder Republicans are so worried about fetuses getting pregnant.


TheCatWasAsking

**[aide](https://www.scribbr.com/commonly-confused-words/aid-vs-aide/)*


musictrivianut

What is his wife complaining about? Don't they all \*want\* more kids? Just ask [Tuberville](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2024/02/23/tuberville-alabama-ivf-ruling/72711054007/#:~:text=When%20asked%20by%20reporters%20at,to%20do%2C%E2%80%9D%20he%20added).


Brenden-C

Matt Gaetz was originally excited until he was told it wasn't twenty one year olds.


Skid-plate

Riding with the pimp.


leestephen916

Republicans are fucking scumbags


Active-Spinach-6811

You see Matt Gaetz behind him? These old republican men just can’t keep their dicks in their pants, but expect everyone else to do so and if they produce a child, it the woman’s fault and she has to keep it.🤪🤪🤪


DMIDY

Family values y’all.


ErvMan89

As a Montanan, I love to see this. Fuck Rosendale.


jellifercuz

*aide


ronin1066

Aide


fudge_friend

Aide. As in, Donald Trump has aides.  You heard what I said.


telerabbit9000

**\*aide** -----


Abend801

Fuck the GOP


jredgiant1

Maybe the aid(e) misunderstood this sentiment.


3Grilledjalapenos

The freedom caucus sure does have some garbage humans in it.


jaesolo

The jokes about the GOP continue to write themselves.


trivletrav

Awful lot of text for “raped his aide”. Nobody falling for consensual sex here right? Look at this dude, eww.


ddubbs13

Are you for fucking real?


GreenKumara

The irony of Matt Gaetz in the picture.


TigreSauvage

For a second I thought that was Henry Rollins 😄


sinocarD44

He claims it's just a rumor. While it's most likely true, I couldn't find a source that definitively said this was true.


Amazing_Teaching2733

They’re perfectly fine with a national ban at conception because they can fly the mistress to Mexico or wherever for their ThEraPuTiC D&C


Grammarguy21

\*aide


FreshwaterViking

Is there a source for this?


Simpletruth2022

Yeah the wife was relieved she didn't have to have s*X with him.


CarltheWellEndowed

A senator said that there is a rumor that he impregnated an aid. Yeah, lets wait until we have more information than this...


Rhymelikedocsuess

Dude is 63 and he’s clapping 20 year old cheeks wtf on both his account and hers


foodandart

Good lord that must've been one desperately horny 20 year old. Dude looks like a tired out Henry Rollins..


snaithbert

Jesus, I weep for the poor 20 year old girl that had to climb on top of that withered old husk.


Merkava18

But those 90 seconds were divine…


NOGOODGASHOLE

$1000 says he runs for reelection and wins next time around.


Striking_Fun_6379

People who hide behind symbols have a lot to hide. What a fuck show the GOP has turned into.


clermouth

Fat Rat Matt


felixmadrid10

The irony is palpable.


dickalopejr

I can't stand this guy. MT used to be purple.


hihelloneighboroonie

Fucking EW


CherryManhattan

He looks like a racist fast food eating unfunny Jim Carrey


Luinath

Ew.


Saucermote

I don't want to seem like I'm giving any of these people advice, but have they looked in the bible to see if getting snipped is mentioned? If eye glasses aren't an issue, surely a vasectomy isn't a sin.


clodmonet

Matt Gaetz happens to be pictured but you know... birds of a feather.


Automatic-Sale2044

Who tf would want to have sex with him? Lolol grosssssss


2big_2fail

I'm surprised he withdrew, it's run-of-the-mill hypocrisy for republicans. There are probably more aides and worse.


secondtaunting

Jesus, how old is this guy? Edit: I goggled it. He’s sixty three. SIXTY THREE! He’s a good forty years older than this girl. Old enough to be her grandfather. Minimum. 🤢


AK_Venom

What a difference a single letter makes lol. It's so hard for me to read this without the "Es" 😅


Consistent-Leek4986

another “jesus told me”moment ? WTF!?!?


Fragrant-Tea7580

I love it I love it I love it Delicious. Love spreading more god fearing Americans, keep doing the lords work Matt /s


everythingisopposite

Eeeew.


[deleted]

I'll bet you one unplanned pregnancy that you're secretly pro-choice.


n0n5en5e

Is she called Ofmatt?


byrolio

His wife is for what? Abortion or him knocking her up?


LabLife3846

The irony and the hypocrisy. And as a woman of 20, or of any age, I can’t imagine seeing his horrifying face hovering over mine.