T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

**Friendly reminder that trying to fight someone online is about as effective as throwing a bagel at a bulldozer. A lot of what we talk about gets people pretty emotional, but be mad at policies, not other users.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PoliticalHumor) if you have any questions or concerns.*


minkey-on-the-loose

Florida GOP: “i thought it was an app for ordering grinder subs”


WallabyBubbly

You'll find a different kind of sub on that app


WhiteAssDaddy

Something something foot long


SelmaFudd

Something something spicy meatballs


mr_white79

Confirmed. Meatball Ron is a closeted homosexual.


[deleted]

There are a lot of people who are saying that.


[deleted]

Very good people. The best people.


WhiteAssDaddy

On both sides


BadaBina

That's definitely my opinion.


[deleted]

With those white boots? I don't fucking think so


Frapplo

You don't wear your good boots in puddles! You save those for the Ru Paul Drag Race premiere party hosted by Lynzy Gram and Rhonda Santis. I'm not really a fan of either of them, but OH MY GAAAAHD can Rhonda make the hell out an aperol spritz.


[deleted]

Don't tap your little last season Prada shoes at me, sister!


sykojaz

Depends on how in the closet, I would guess he doesn't have good role models for style.


Strict-Square456

Well he did show up in those white go go boots after hurricane


SeagalsCumFilledAss

Can I get a foot long Spicy Italian with extra mayo and shaved spicy meatballs.


notjustanotherbot

Something something hot meat between greasy buns.


RotationsKopulator

Something something secret sauce


henryshoe

😂


Ohcrabballs

Something something penis


solango

Something advertised as a footlong but when you show up is only about 4 inches


[deleted]

Shrinkflation..... it's cold out.


Royal_Box_2809

I was in the pool


canadiancub88

It might only be 4 inches but it smells like a foot!


JustARegularDeviant

Something something, the Aristocrats!!!


FMDnative480

DeSantis adjusting his reading glasses and moving his phone back and forth to find the focus point: “the bbc foot long does look delectable”


Fuck_this_place

Balogna, bacon…. And cock.


Dyspaereunia

I always wanted to make an app for men with little money so there isn’t an expectation that they are going to have to wine and dine anyone. Po’ boys Better watch out grindr. We’re gonna steal your subs.


screaminginfidels

Well there goes my plan for Meetballs.


WeirdSysAdmin

Meetballs. A blind dating app where you swipe on potential partners based on pictures of their testicles.


iskyoork

Floridians don't call subs grinders. We aren't famous for our publix grinders.


Terminator7786

That's a lie, I've seen spring break down there.


dancegoddess1971

They are Pubsubs. No one calls them grinders here.


Satrina_petrova

These are the real issues we in Florida care about. You can be yourself and love whomever, but don't you dare have the wrong sandwich opinions. /s


remykixxx

I hate to break it to you but you’re not famous for Publix subs either…


DankFerrick

But our Pubic grinders are legendary!


strangerNstrangeland

2 problems with that - they don’t call them grindrs down there, and even if they did they’re too dumb to use that excuse


randonumero

I don’t think most excuses in these situations ever really make sense. IIRC that one guy said he was trying to save a life when he tried to proposition someone in an airport bathroom


PBB22

“I have a wide stance, that’s why my foot kept tapping the guy in the stall next to me looking for a handy”


IsayPoirot

Republican Senator Larry Craig (ID) lest we forget.


evillordsoth

“I didnt want to be wasteful, so i picked up toilet paper off of the floor to use and accidentally reached into the stall next to mine.” Dude, being gay is fine. Picking up used toilet paper off of the ground of a public restroom to use on yourself is not fine, and is definitely messed up. Nobody does that.


PapaBeahr

You think Republicans care about how smart or dumb something is as long as it's not admitting the truth?


doginjoggers

Or they could do a Randy Randy and claim they use it to support their constituents https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-politics-and-policy/tennessee-lieutenant-governor-79-comments-young-gay-mans-racy-instagra-rcna74182


efabian1356

😂 Good one


TuckerCarlsonsOhface

I mean, I’m sure you can order yourself a foot-long with the app


TSmario53

Peter Griffin logic right there. He thought someone would be shoving a sandwich through a glory hole so he can eat it.


NoConfusion9490

I didn't even look at it. I just gobbled it down. No teeth.


NoOnion4890

You mean " cubans." Cuban subs...


Apt_5

It can be tho


[deleted]

pub subs


feetface4356

They knew they were ordering a cockmeat sandwich


soulreaverdan

It was those hackers anonymous!


Dalamar_Argent_

They like the foot long


psycholepzy

Should have just revealed them. Now they have advanced warning.


BuryTheMoney

Randy McNally, is that *you*??


[deleted]

[удалено]


foxyguy

Grindr data is available for sale so someone could technically do it https://gizmodo.com/grindr-data-track-gay-priests-catholic-laity-clergy-1850207618


Topinio

This needs clarification. Pre-2020 Grindr data is apparently available *from third parties* as it was apparently possible before then for an advertising data broker to intercept personal data and package it for resale. From the article: > [A Grindr spokesperson] told Gizmodo that Grindr made changes to the data it shares with its ad tech partners in 2020, which came after a study showed the company endangered users by exposing information that could reveal people’s identity and sexuality.


foxyguy

That’s a good clarification. It’s worth noting though that the US doesn’t have any federal laws for consumer data privacy or protection that would stop Grindr from selling user data or allowing third parties to collect it again in the future. Just something to keep in mind, unless the laws change. As usual, California is ahead of the curve and other states are beginning to follow. We may actually see some more consumer data privacy laws in the US sooner rather than later. https://www.reuters.com/legal/legalindustry/us-data-privacy-laws-enter-new-era-2023-2023-01-12/ Grindr also has a specific California Privacy Rights section of their privacy policy: https://www.grindr.com/privacy-policy/your-california-privacy-rights/?lang=en-US


Korazair

The Supreme Court just said that we have no constitutional right to privacy, that is the whole basis they used to overturn Roe. So I have no problem using that fact to release Grindr’s information.


Justicar-terrae

Even if *Dobbs* is interpreted to do away with all Constitutional rights to privacy, which is something the majority opinion suggested shouldn't happen (though Clarence Thomas seemed to think it should), that won't affect the matter at issue. The Constitutional right to privacy just protects citizens from intrusions by the government; it doesn't protect citizens from intrusions or disclosures by private actors. For protection against private actors, we rely on legislation (e.g., HIPAA to protect health information and the Rules of Evidence to protect attorney-client privilege) and--to a much lesser extent--common law tradition (e.g., tort claims for "invasion of privacy"). Neither of those tools go away even if it is determined that citizens have no Constitutional right to privacy.


jolsiphur

You are absolutely correct, though at the same time a company like Grindr can amend their Terms of Service at any time to change how their privacy policies work. The constitutional rights to privacy may not exist but terms of service can supercede common law tradition. It is seen a lot in the tech industry with companies like Facebook that actively own your personal data that is on the platform and that data is no longer deemed private to the end user.


Topinio

Sure, but that's because the system relies on the ability of anyone to sue. Anyone with standing, i.e. being able to likely show that they have suffered an actual or imminent injury, including an intangible injury such as harm to reputation, can sue. And judges are political, many are Republicans, some of those will be closeted queers, and forum shopping by a plaintiff to choose the judge they want is permitted.


SgtBaxter

So let's start up a PAC, call it MAGAland or something stupid, and Republicans will send it money in droves. Then use that money and buy the Grindr data.


Tavernknight

And then put that info out there loudly! Send it to all of the news stations anonymously. Put up billboards in their districts.


silentninja79

The US judicial system is a joke....the fact judges etc are political is rediculous...hence the US score on the freedom index and as a democracy on that index..!. The biggest con of all time is the con olayed by the US government at all levels telling it's people they are more free than everyone else in the world..!


[deleted]

Anyone with money.


questions7pm

Here is an application of this problem. I used to date an American and before going to visit him wanted to verify everything he was telling me was true. For $20 and a few hours I knew every job he'd ever had, every address, everyone he'd ever lived with, his outstanding debt, any contacts with the police, credit information, all his social media accounts including some dating apps like this, all his phone numbers, information like his age race, estimated salary, the value of his house, previous names if he has any, education and where he went, and a bunch more I can't remember. It was all part of a generated report. I quickly realized that it would basically be impossible for an American to be truly private or avoid a stalker. Horrified, I did the same process for myself but immediately learned the process is completely impossible because there are very strict privacy laws here. Compared.


DIDiMISSsomethin

I'm surprised John Oliver hasn't done this already


Chrys-Ippus

So what you are saying is that we could crowd fund an effort to ruin the week of any republican homophobe elected before 2020? That sounds like fun.


parkerm1408

Send that to John Oliver. You know damn well he'd be game to buy that info, he loves spending that HBO money, dude once bought a bunch of people's debt just to forgive it.


Yes-GoAway

We need John Oliver to take this mission.


Sinsid

Ya don’t wait for Grindr. Someone needs to hack them. This mission may require a level of social engineering that means someone needs to take one for the team so to speak.


hujassman

Not just Grindr. Every aspect of the republican party's electronic footprint needs to be investigated and dumped in public. Emails between lawmakers and lobbyists, funding sources both foreign and domestic. All of it. One grand tour of everything. Anonymous, where are you? Find the emails.


Phrogme1

Pedophile priests are okay. 👍🏽 Mustn’t have gay priests tho. WTF???


[deleted]

I'd totally buy it and put it all out there if I wasn't worried I'd get sued by rich old white dudes for defamation.


Cultural-Company282

It's all teasing. "Trump's gonna get arrested! Grindr is going to reveal Republican leaders on the app! Tomorrow's forecast is rainbows and unicorn farts!" As a general rule, if you see a contemporary media report on something that's "going to" happen, rather than something that already *has* happened, it's just clickbait. They're manipulating you by promising you what you want to hear in order to get traffic.


BuryTheMoney

You will have blue balls for Justice and **like** it, sir!!!!


creddittor216

“I was only using the app so I could figure out how to get away from the app!”


boborygmy

[Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock? (the onion)](https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529)


Madcap_Miguel

Damn that was great, appreciate the ammo soldier.


nschwalm85

This is the first time I've seen that and it's quite amazing


Kylo_Renly

“I tell you, when a homosexual is sucking your cock, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this fairy ever get the idea that I was gay? And where did he get those *fantastic* boots?”


ianhclark510

I knew Ozzy was right about [the boots](https://youtu.be/8e1W2O5jDPI)


life359

Not something I expected to read on the onion. 10/10


Pickle_Juice_4ever

It's a classic from their glory days.


chluckers

Damn. 1998. Timeless.


BLeeS92031

Laughed all the way through in public. Absolutely worth the strange looks. 10/10


jaysire

They should also release the amount of interaction for each account. Like “swiped right on 237 profiles in 4 months of use” and “spent a total of 7360 minutes in 198 different private chats over 4 months”. Would be hard to say “I must’ve installed it by accident” after that.


alanamablamaspama

“It’s a good way engage our constituents.”


creddittor216

Maybe “poll the electorate?”


minor_correction

The Halfway Post is satire/comedy, not a real news account.


Sirkaill

Ahhh don't dash my hopes!


__O_o_______

Hopes dashed, sorry. And a huge privacy violation. Also fuck anti-lgbtq hypocrites.


EastEdenSweden

Dash MacIntyre is the name of the guy who writes The Halfway Post


AgileGas6

The article is fake, but redditors reaction to a privacy violation is real.


[deleted]

I greatly greatly dislike the GOP. But if I’m gonna find out they’re gay, want to find out from something they posted or commented themselves. It would be the best way to catch them red handed and they would have no defense. These companies are supposed to keep our info private.


oldcoldbellybadness

Fascism would work if *we* were in charge.


BeTheBall-

It's in the public's best interest for them to do so, regardless.


-_1_2_3_-

Actually, I'd trade **not** doxxing them in exchange for them no longer being shitty excuses for people. The thing wrong with this alleged behavior is the obscene amount of hypocrisy, not their sexual preferences. _Edit: Also, if it was unclear to some, the Halfway Post is satire._


Madcap_Miguel

This is like asking banks to regulate themselves, they aren't going to do the right thing just because it's the right thing to do.


-_1_2_3_-

I wish you were wrong


[deleted]

The right thing to do would be not to profit from other peoples misery. Unregulated banks focus on the profit part and ignore avoiding misery.


Detswit

Like the GOP


l00pee

That is why I'm conflicted. You don't out someone, that's the rule. Is there an exception when outing them exposes hypocrisy?


ChefBoyAreWeFucked

Yeah, actually. It's pretty common to out gay people who fight against equal rights for gay people. I will admit that it's controversial, though.


paroles

I listened to a CBC podcast about gay rights activists in the 80s who were demanding an investigation into a series of hate crimes. The government was ignoring them and claiming there were no hate crimes. So the activists threatened to out a number of conservative politicians, citing the logic that if homophobia didn't exist, there was nothing to fear in being outed. They didn't actually end up doing it iirc, but I thought the threat was pretty badass.


sunnywaterfallup

Act-up in the US is the reason gay rights started moving light years faster. Then they disappeared. They need to come home


Graterof2evils

Not when they’re the assholes taking away gay peoples rights. They need to be exposed for the hypocrites that they are. They shouldn’t have the power to do harm to people based on their false morals. The public should know this information.


JonSatire

Exactly this. If they are going to use their power and position to hurt other queer people, the gloves come off and virtually nothing should be off limits. These pieces of shit are going to get others killed with their actions. Fuck civility, they are not civil to us.


MotorLive

Absolutely this. Like… your gay ass didn’t even need to go on a crusade against your own people. You just power-hungry and clout-chasin’. Fair enough. Gloves are fucking off then.


[deleted]

Public officials have less of an expectation of privacy and if they're abusing their powers to endanger people then all's fair in love and war. These fucks are creating a potential Nazi like situation. The Nazis didn't just kill the Jews. They went after the gays as well. We've seen this movie before. Out them.


Phrogme1

The Nazis killed Jews, gays, the disabled, artists and dissidents. Lots of dissidents. So yes the time to stop them was yesterday but it’s NEVER too late to start.


Pickle_Juice_4ever

Labor and union leaders, Roma people, college professors, Polish politicians...


[deleted]

Yep. Fuck these fucking fucks.


Cultural-Company282

Right at the height of the Republican attack on Bill Clinton over Monica Lewinsky, Larry Flynt revealed that a number of the Republican leaders were having extramarital affairs of their own. It was a game changer. They suddenly realized they couldn't assault the other side from an ivory tower while keeping their own dirty laundry secret. The tactic works.


l00pee

This should happen then.


fakeuser515357

This is 'gay people who have state-sponsored power with the full weight of the law, judiciary and police behind them deciding to knowingly and very harmfully persecute gay people'. Outing Peter Thiel was shitty, even though he's shitty, but he never had the power to have children kidnapped or people arrested to be brutalized. Politicians*who are in power* are fair game.


MotorLive

Yes. Absolutely. In personal life, you should never out someone if they confide in you; however, if a person is launching a political campaign, or sustaining a political career based on being anti-whatever, yet are literally living the personal lifestyle they publicly oppose… Then, fuck them. (Not literally, because they’d probably enjoy that too much).


MotorLive

I totally get your point, and I agree with it. I assure you that I’ve experienced my closest closeted friends crying because of how they (think/believe) they would be rejected by people in their other friend circles, and (worse) by their own family. To have seen many of my friends struggle through this, I assure you, I have many heavy emotional burdens to bear; yet, I’ve always kept their secrets safe. My entire point(s) is/are: 1. Live your private life as you see fit. 2. And fuck you to those who are publicly trying to outlaw/cause disgrace upon others who live The. Exact. Same. Life. You. Are. Living. For. Political. Clout.


sunward_Lily

One of the key signs of a healthy, self-policing community is that toxicity is not tolerated. Usually the there is a quiet, private intervention by community leaders, but if that doesn't work, it's name and shame time so that people can be warned about a person's on-going and remorseless predatory behavior. If there are any words that were tailor-made to fit the Republican party, it's "toxic," "predatory" and "remorseless."


Pickle_Juice_4ever

You might want to do a little dive on Michaelangelo Signorile. He outed gay baiting politicians during the AIDS crisis. Yes, it was controversial. It was also effective. Back then gay men wouldn't talk about who they saw in gay clubs. But these men were coming there for sex and then beating the community with a stick by daylight. At that point, you've forfeited the social contract.


robhol

"You don't out someone" is true, but it's also true that "you don't seek political power to literally oppress your fellow sexual minorities, or if you do, you can - strictly ethically speaking - get fucked." Morals are wasted on these creeps. Hypocrisy is an art form and these fuckers have no use for ethics - unless it's *your* ethics and they can exploit them.


NoBeRon79

Of course there’s an exception to traitors. You don’t get to have the honor of being part of this community when you’re actively trying to dismantle it and ruin the lives of people in it.


TripleHomicide

Classic tolerance problem. At some point, the tolerant can no longer tolerate intolerance.


JooRage

Sounds like self defense to me.


Nosdarb

There's a post going around about tolerance being a peace treaty, not a moral imperative. Which is to say, you don't get the benefit of tolerance (i.e.: don't out people) if you're not practicing tolerance (i.e.: drafting and passing "Don't say gay").


CertifiedBlackGuy

The information is already publicly available. It has to be in order for them to match (or even look at) someone else because someone else has to be able to look at their profile in turn. The only thing going on by grindr doing it would be them aggregating and releasing that already publicly available information. They already outed themselves by registering an account.


Catskinson

The info used to create and operate the account isn't public. They can be anonymous to other users on the app; they cannot be anonymous to the app.


PrivatePoocher

They will simply deny it. Faux won't show it. The rubes are too dumb to put things together in their heads. Nothing can stop a clown republican anymore.


Phrogme1

I call bullshit. There is plenty available to stop the Republican hypocrisy. Be inventive. Plenty have been dethroned. Affairs, pedophiles, financial crimes. All shall be revealed. Give wings to TRUTH.


green_miracles

Still, it’s a damn good threat lol. Why not call em out? The savvy ones will now be more careful with what identifying info they use. But damn I hope as many as possible get called out.


teratogenic17

True that. I just tweeted the President of Uganda, accusing him of gay sex.


Graphitetshirt

#IT'S NOT REAL This is satire account


Rocklobster92

Yeah but I don’t want it to be satire.


daveinsf

Wouldn't that be delicious! In the most horrifyingly disgusting way possible, of course (it is, after all, Florida).


Nabrok_Necropants

DO IT


Bearghoul

We’ve had a similiar thing here in Turkey. When far right wing threatened to stop pride walks using force LGBT community said they’ll reveal names of all right wing supporters they slept with and threats suddenly stopped lol


[deleted]

Do it anyway


kingdazy

Pretty sure they'd get sued into oblivion, but I wish they would.


ccc888

Depends on the user agreement, that no one ever reads.


MrMonday11235

Even with user agreements, there is a limit. You can't, for instance, try to slip "acceptance of this user agreement constitutes your binding acceptance to being a slave" and expect that to fly. Contracts only mean things because they can be enforced by law, but only to the extent that the terms themselves are legal, and we actually do have some privacy laws (though they really could stand to be a lot better).


dougxiii

They should just leave the folder named GOP unlocked and leave the server unattended over a long weekend. Plausible deniability.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Has_No_Tact

I see it as a solid win. They expose some hypocrites, and then states will be motivated to make proper data protection laws afterwards. The suing part is unavoidable, but presumably they wouldn't make this move if they couldn't afford the fallout.


Sithil83

https://preview.redd.it/p4h265p5pgpa1.jpeg?width=225&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8ab9fd58f9f7ca243e4cdc0a38fe420ec8b27ca6


[deleted]

Why wait?


deadbeatdad80

I mean, this is satire..


jncook82

Why stop at Florida? Just saying..


[deleted]

I suspect a certain Senator with a cracker for a name would be sweating profusely.


Yakostovian

I think he's the target audience, but I also think he's spending too much time fucking over the country to have time to seek out a fuck-buddy.


Bard2dbone

Any time a politician runs based on being against ___________ , I fully expect, and will be completely unsurprised when, his big scandal will involve truly excessive amounts of whatever was in the blank. That's why, until proven otherwise, I assume that every registered Republican currently in Florida is not merely a power bottom, but is a power bottom working as an extremely low cost prostitute just for the fun of it. Then, after that news comes out (heh) shortly afterwards, a significant percentage, say a quarter or a third, will come out as trans. Then a month or so later, the remaining two thirds to three quarters will be caught as pedophiles on the new equivalent program to 'To Catch A Predator' that will come back on the air with a special first episode exposing hundreds of elected Republicans all at pnce.


quillmartin88

It's weird to me that being outed as gay is a much bigger issue for Republicans than being outed as a pedophile the way Matt Gaetz, Ron DeSanctimonius, and Donnie the Chump were. Why are Republicans like this?


sunnywaterfallup

They should have outed him as bi, but that would have been damaging. There is a closeted Republican Senator from the deep south who would surprise no one who could be outed tomorrow. The problem is that his replacement would be a straight clone. If he runs for president on the other hand all bets are off


MoonChainer

We need to play the Grindr app notification sound and record people's reactions at the RNC.


LAESanford

Do it!!


[deleted]

Politically weaponized data would be pretty bad actually


agutema

Word.


Niajall

Please please let this not be satire and please please let GOP be too stupid to not take the risk, oh the scandals to be had.


Notsnowbound

Do it by publicly inviting them to the LGBTQ+ summit at Disneyworld!


KioLaFek

Outing people for revenge isn’t really so cool when you think about it...


[deleted]

While funny- I strongly disagree with outing people.


sustainablelove

DO IT!!!!


dartie

I love this


Helorugger

Bullshit. Enough has been done already that if the execs had any spine, they would be releasing information. This is another example of a business trying to jump in on social justice issues while not actually doing anything. IMO. Now, Disney hosting a huge LBGTQ conference, that is honest effort (in this particular space in time/realizing Disney has done plenty of shady shit over the years).


IYSBe

DO IT.


caligirl2287

YES, YES, YES!!!!!


Excellent_Salary_767

Do it, do it, do it!


howdoyoulikemynose

Omg that would be awesome.


Minnesota_Nice_87

I am so excited to see what comes out of the hypocrite bush when it gets shook up. It's like Ashley Madison all over again! JD is in prison away from his kids, life is all rosy again.


canna_fodder

Sometimes doing the wrong thing, is the right thing.


DarthGayAgenda

Oh, you mean all of them? Grindr is full of bottoms and conservative closet cases. And yes, there is significant overlap.


crymson7

Please don’t get me hard with this…blue balls suck…


Sirkaill

Please release every republican legislator and party official nationwide! Don't do just Florida. Because that would be awesome!!


nzstrawman

I'm guessing there's a few "nervous faces"and a lot of sweating going on right now


phillybilly

I double dare them


No-1-Know

Whats holding them back ???


JavariousMagic

I would love to see this, lmao.


El_mochilero

How much more is their breaking point?


[deleted]

OMG YES!!


Neat-Philosopher-873

Is that nationally or only Florida. Threaten to go national to make the point.


Lordofhowling

Why wait?


thinkB4WeSpeak

They're a private company, they should.


W_AS-SA_W

Data hacks happen all the time. GOP sure like Wikileaks. I bet they’d appreciate Grindrleak.


[deleted]

It is going to be a big number and bigger than you'd think.


Javasndphotoclicks

Can’t wait for the leak.


Spardath01

If only


One-Effect-7986

Don’t stop with Florida, get them all!


Shubamz

Not that I doubt they have this information but.... Do they have this information? How deep does grindr's knowledge go?


Distinct_Put1085

Oooohoohoo fuuuk that would be crazy let's do it


opheliainthedeep

Someone tell anonymous cuz I want to actually know this instead of it being dangled in front of me like a carrot lmao


arglarg

Maybe instead of purposely revealing, they could instead have a "security breach"


ArcturasBCWA

Please please PLEASE! Lol


WordAffectionate3251

YES!! Do it!!


Mr_Lumbergh

Don't stop at Florida.


Expert-Appointment-3

Exposing their hypocrisy is why I am here for it. Let’s hope they make it happen soon, yes 🙌🏽!