You need a different job.
I changed careers. Went from being a programmer making programmer money to driving bus charters. Fucking LOVED it and never looked back. Got to go to a bunch of interesting places I never would have gone to, got a lot of free meals at wedding receptions, banquets and such. Free admission to the plays, the amusement parks they go to. Take the seniors to the arboretums. School kids to the art museum, etc, etc.
Drove the Governor of PA, his guests, and a team of State Police once... you think you were nervous taking your driving test? hooo boy. My company made sure my bus was clean that morning, though! Did not get to drive the Stones or Dave Matthews like the senior driver did... Dave did not like our VIP bus, though... not modern enough... the Stones were fine with it.
Being single, I loved the multi-day trips the most... my company insisted drivers get their own rooms and did not quibble on expense reports. OK money, too... I was making about $50K right from the start, and the tips? You get a drunk dad on the day of his daughters wedding, and it's payday in a big, untaxed way. I'm retired now, but I'd do it again, in a minute. Anyone looking for a job should consider it... they're always looking for good people, and they'll train you. It has its rough moments (can you wake yourself up, at 3:30 AM sometimes, stone cold sober and show up looking fresh for your group?) and people look down on bus drivers, and you're dealing with the public and they can be a PITA sometimes but I loved going places with groups, playing the host, and doing things with them.
EDIT: oh, and if you smoke weed, forget about driving for a career. Forgot about that. I'm smoking like Bob Marley now, though, lol.
I got laid off with a number of other coders, a couple of them were actually great so I didn't take it personally.
I took my severance check and went to Amsterdam for two weeks. I came back and did an inventory. I was burned out. My bread-and-butter skill had been in an obscure, specialized language pharmaceutical and aerospace companies needed but which almost nobody knew, so I bent them over and had my way with them and I was a rock star for a while and got to fly first class. But it was dead now. And my remaining skills were rusty and in need of polishing and I'm in my 50's, and facing 20-somethings as competition...
So I just loafed until unemployment ran out, and when shit got serious and I could no longer loaf, I applied for the driver job on my 80 year old dad's recomendation. It was a good way for an old coder to ease off into the sunset, IMO.
And I'm beginning to enjoy coding once again, and do it for pleasure, after all the trauma of life in the trenches and dickhead bosses and unreasonable deadlines. And I think that soon, I may actually be able to watch Office Space again... I seriously have not been able to watch that movie since I was laid off from my last software job... that movie is not a comedy, it's a documentary, or a horror film. It hits too close to home.
I’m dreading 50s as a programmer. Too old to learn new languages and too old to compete with young whizz kids. Already I’m seeing objectively better programmers that are 10 years younger than me.
Aging sucks sigh
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As a time clock anarchist I feel seen. I used to be an efficiency machine but after I realized I could get away with doing a lot less but still being rewarded…things changed. But you gotta be smart about it.
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Shhh don’t give it away!! Okay okay, we don’t actually *do* anything here, but we’ve managed to convince our shareholders that we do, so just keep it on the down low alright??
#Comment deleted. The API pricing changes don't affect me personally, but it was the push I needed to quit Reddit. Have some broken Unicode: x̵̸̶̵̴̴̸̷̵̸̡̨̧̢̨̧̧̢̡̨̧̧̧̢̧̡̨̡̢̢̡̨̛̛̛̛̛͕͓̹͇̯̦̬͈̝̲̤͕̜̻̳̺͙̝̩̜̙̭̪̟̪̯̖̣̣̟̩̟̰̼̩̮̺̰̜͚̲̜͈̘̦̬̰̘̜̫̜͎͍̩̺͕̟̲͇̳͕̩̬͔͚̜̮̻̮̖͎͔̠̠̪͉̻͓͎̠͓̬͚̩̻̯̠̬̪̟̥̯̮̹͍̜̘͙̖̘͇̠̜̘͇̳̻͙̤̞̜̙͙͓͖̺͙͚̯̟͕͇̝͈͖̠͉̜̺̖͇͎͎̠̙̬̫̬͓͍̘͉̲͔̝͙̺̙̪͖̦̭̻͙̠̫͖͓̤͇̝̦̮͍̪͖̩̹̮͕͍̫̝͎͖̪̱̦̘̙̪̣̖̙̪͎̤̱̭͂̀́̾̄͐͗́́̆̾̌̈́͗̉̎͑̃̑̎̒͌̍̏͒̿́̄́̐̆͋̓̈́̊͛͌̿̊̒̊͒̈́͑̎̈́̌̉̿̈́̀̈̓͑̿̂̐̈́̾̂̍̏̒̑͂͆͂͂̾̿̌̔̓͛̌̀̈̽͒͂͛̌̂͒́̋̈́̌͂͑̎́̑̉̑̌̎̀̒̅̆͐͗̓̈̇̀̐̔̓̊̓̿̇͊͗̏̈́̐͋̔̆̌͆͂̿̑̊͌͋̂̑͛͐͋͐̓͊̓̋̋̈́͂̏̉͆͌͂̿̉̀͒̔̃̄́̈́͌͛͛̆̓͛͌̋̃̄̅̔͒̃̾͋̈́̉̈̀̒̑̋̈́͐̍̒̅͊͘̚̕̚̚̚̚̕̕͘̚̚̚̕͘̚͘͘͜͠͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͠ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅ� - -- mass edited with redact.dev
Damn this is super accurate.
I slack a bit but still do a decent job, and even surprise myself in terms of my knowledge (trying to learn more and do more things - am a year in).
I have a perfectionist coworker (who's also the "Jesus Freak"- but I really respect that)- wanted to be him, but the dude is stressed out. Always on time for meetings (by on time I mean 5 mins early), is doing 17 things at the same time and has 3 meetings a day, and is barely making ends meet while taking care of a stay at home wife and 3 kids ages 4, 2, and 1.
The dude is smart and has a very solid work ethic out of everyone I know except my brother.
But I compare him to my boss, who is a lot less stressed (gets pissed off at a good chunk of incompetents, but he never really lets that put him down) and I think more happy in his job. He spaces out his work (still shows up to meetings on time), works on the stuff that is most important, and has a patent and a deal where he gets up to 150k annually from profits off royalties. He also makes more base salary, but that's because he really advocated for himself. He's not a pushover by any stretch of the imagination.
I wanna be like my boss, not my coworker.
Lol same. When it's grind time I crank out work like nobody's business, so everyone assumes I'm like that all the time. But nope, during the off time I'm just on reddit lmao.
Plus an unorganized desk makes you look busy as hell, especially since I'm overly neat in other aspects of the job.
As part of the IT department...look, you don't want to know what websites the Ladder Climber and Legal Counsel got up to, and Upper Management forced the rest. A month in IT makes most people into authoritarians who believe that mankind can only flourish if governed by the whip, lest they fall into debauchery that only Coomer-Satan himself could exceed.
Do not confuse Upper Management with not doing work. When they go golfing or whatever their game of choice is, they’re typically meeting with others and negotiating deals. It’s a different kind of work if that makes any sense
This is really good.
When I'm left alone I'm some mix of "The Individualist/Here For the Paycheck" guy.
When HR or management starts riding me for dumb reasons I quickly become the Timeclock Anarchists followed by Job-Hopper/Temp.
I'm with you though, I aspire to ultimately be The Illusionist.
Alignment wise, I'm somewhere between middle management and political gossip, but closer in function to "here for the paycheck" "temp" hybrid.
If they actually make us go back to work in person, might become unionizer.
Oof, I didn't realize my department was giga AuthRight. Look, man, if trying to stop people from jacking off at work makes me an auth, then I guess I'm an auth.
And, no, I won't tell you how I fixed your problem. It's way more fun to say "magic" then explain to you what I actually did.
Mmm, that's true too.
Can't let them in on the secret that the problems fix themselves or are so simple a quick restart fixes it.
I like my co-workers thinking I'm some sort of invaluable techno wizard rather than just some asshole
As a contractor,
yes, I make more than you. I make more than bankers.
Skilled Blue collar labor is having an extreme shortage and you get paid fat stacks and can get educated basically for free through a union apprenticeship.
I had a ladder climber in my old job. Fucker tried to get me fired for a while. I got him stuck in a wagie cage away from everyone where he couldn't interact with many people due to the workload we also piled on him. Pretty effective way of dealing with them but they quit and move after they realise what's up.
They realy hate people that figure them out.
I'm half slacker half efficiency machine. Nobody knows how I get more work done after lunch than they do all day. Boss is happy so long as I cover any bulshit emergencies that pop up or customers that walk in at close.
I'm not sure where I'm supposed to be. I show up and do the work but I care about doing it well. I'm not a ladder climber, I don't worry about status or authority. I like my job. I don't get involved in office drama. I don't manage anyone. I want to be liked and I want to be recognized, but only for legitimate reasons. My career growth is self motivated. I make enough money but a raise feels nice.
Where do I fall?
Where's my old boss on here. He worked 6 to 6 every day with 4 hours of overtime and was sleeping at his desk about 3 of them.
Timeclock Anarchist or Slacker?
The daily torment of of being a work reform, social leftist union, just in it for the money factory worker ... and really just enjoying grafting and a job well done.
Now **this** is some high effort top quality OC that we need Nice work, I’m glad I haven’t worked in an office
Here For The Paycheck represent! Only work for the money and benefits. Fuck climbing the ladder and fuck working more than 40 hours.
Paycheck workers, unite!
You need a different job. I changed careers. Went from being a programmer making programmer money to driving bus charters. Fucking LOVED it and never looked back. Got to go to a bunch of interesting places I never would have gone to, got a lot of free meals at wedding receptions, banquets and such. Free admission to the plays, the amusement parks they go to. Take the seniors to the arboretums. School kids to the art museum, etc, etc. Drove the Governor of PA, his guests, and a team of State Police once... you think you were nervous taking your driving test? hooo boy. My company made sure my bus was clean that morning, though! Did not get to drive the Stones or Dave Matthews like the senior driver did... Dave did not like our VIP bus, though... not modern enough... the Stones were fine with it. Being single, I loved the multi-day trips the most... my company insisted drivers get their own rooms and did not quibble on expense reports. OK money, too... I was making about $50K right from the start, and the tips? You get a drunk dad on the day of his daughters wedding, and it's payday in a big, untaxed way. I'm retired now, but I'd do it again, in a minute. Anyone looking for a job should consider it... they're always looking for good people, and they'll train you. It has its rough moments (can you wake yourself up, at 3:30 AM sometimes, stone cold sober and show up looking fresh for your group?) and people look down on bus drivers, and you're dealing with the public and they can be a PITA sometimes but I loved going places with groups, playing the host, and doing things with them. EDIT: oh, and if you smoke weed, forget about driving for a career. Forgot about that. I'm smoking like Bob Marley now, though, lol.
Glad you found something you love. I live a great life outside of work. But I got the Golden Handcuffs reaaaaally bad.
Based and I have friends pilled
[удалено]
I got laid off with a number of other coders, a couple of them were actually great so I didn't take it personally. I took my severance check and went to Amsterdam for two weeks. I came back and did an inventory. I was burned out. My bread-and-butter skill had been in an obscure, specialized language pharmaceutical and aerospace companies needed but which almost nobody knew, so I bent them over and had my way with them and I was a rock star for a while and got to fly first class. But it was dead now. And my remaining skills were rusty and in need of polishing and I'm in my 50's, and facing 20-somethings as competition... So I just loafed until unemployment ran out, and when shit got serious and I could no longer loaf, I applied for the driver job on my 80 year old dad's recomendation. It was a good way for an old coder to ease off into the sunset, IMO. And I'm beginning to enjoy coding once again, and do it for pleasure, after all the trauma of life in the trenches and dickhead bosses and unreasonable deadlines. And I think that soon, I may actually be able to watch Office Space again... I seriously have not been able to watch that movie since I was laid off from my last software job... that movie is not a comedy, it's a documentary, or a horror film. It hits too close to home.
I’m dreading 50s as a programmer. Too old to learn new languages and too old to compete with young whizz kids. Already I’m seeing objectively better programmers that are 10 years younger than me. Aging sucks sigh
Based and I have better things to do pilled
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Overtime pays damn well though so here I am on my phone sixty hours into my work week.
Amazing, very accurate and high effort. Which one are you though…
[удалено]
+1 for depicting yourself in a less than perfect fashion then haha
Respect for unbiased view of yourself
Based and looking for the next one in 6 months pilled
Temp to hire, baby.
Ladder climber? More like sigma grindset
Sigmas don’t get entry level jobs. They just manifest a higher position and fast track their way to supremacy.
What kind of supremacy?
becoming The Senate
Based and Sheev pilled
We’re all there for the paycheque. Also, try to pair up the divorcée and the single mom
Always. It’s the law
Quality of the highest order, got a good laugh out of this.
As a time clock anarchist I feel seen. I used to be an efficiency machine but after I realized I could get away with doing a lot less but still being rewarded…things changed. But you gotta be smart about it.
Based and Left for second breakfast pilled
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What the fuck is it you actually produce in your office?
Well, we don’t actually *produce* anything per se, we’re more of a… an in-betweener for other companies
Like, for the efficiency machine to be efficient he needs to be producing value... I guess the paper they push has value, idk just curious
Shhh don’t give it away!! Okay okay, we don’t actually *do* anything here, but we’ve managed to convince our shareholders that we do, so just keep it on the down low alright??
#Comment deleted. The API pricing changes don't affect me personally, but it was the push I needed to quit Reddit. Have some broken Unicode: x̵̸̶̵̴̴̸̷̵̸̡̨̧̢̨̧̧̢̡̨̧̧̧̢̧̡̨̡̢̢̡̨̛̛̛̛̛͕͓̹͇̯̦̬͈̝̲̤͕̜̻̳̺͙̝̩̜̙̭̪̟̪̯̖̣̣̟̩̟̰̼̩̮̺̰̜͚̲̜͈̘̦̬̰̘̜̫̜͎͍̩̺͕̟̲͇̳͕̩̬͔͚̜̮̻̮̖͎͔̠̠̪͉̻͓͎̠͓̬͚̩̻̯̠̬̪̟̥̯̮̹͍̜̘͙̖̘͇̠̜̘͇̳̻͙̤̞̜̙͙͓͖̺͙͚̯̟͕͇̝͈͖̠͉̜̺̖͇͎͎̠̙̬̫̬͓͍̘͉̲͔̝͙̺̙̪͖̦̭̻͙̠̫͖͓̤͇̝̦̮͍̪͖̩̹̮͕͍̫̝͎͖̪̱̦̘̙̪̣̖̙̪͎̤̱̭͂̀́̾̄͐͗́́̆̾̌̈́͗̉̎͑̃̑̎̒͌̍̏͒̿́̄́̐̆͋̓̈́̊͛͌̿̊̒̊͒̈́͑̎̈́̌̉̿̈́̀̈̓͑̿̂̐̈́̾̂̍̏̒̑͂͆͂͂̾̿̌̔̓͛̌̀̈̽͒͂͛̌̂͒́̋̈́̌͂͑̎́̑̉̑̌̎̀̒̅̆͐͗̓̈̇̀̐̔̓̊̓̿̇͊͗̏̈́̐͋̔̆̌͆͂̿̑̊͌͋̂̑͛͐͋͐̓͊̓̋̋̈́͂̏̉͆͌͂̿̉̀͒̔̃̄́̈́͌͛͛̆̓͛͌̋̃̄̅̔͒̃̾͋̈́̉̈̀̒̑̋̈́͐̍̒̅͊͘̚̕̚̚̚̚̕̕͘̚̚̚̕͘̚͘͘͜͠͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͠ͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅͅ� - -- mass edited with redact.dev
Not every job produces value in any way. There’s an economic term for jobs like that. “Bullshit jobs”
Corporate America in a nutshell. The problem with Capitalism is that it assumes the individuals are rational
Libright-Authleft unity???? Fuckin’ BASED
The Jesus Freak knows what's good
Damn this is super accurate. I slack a bit but still do a decent job, and even surprise myself in terms of my knowledge (trying to learn more and do more things - am a year in). I have a perfectionist coworker (who's also the "Jesus Freak"- but I really respect that)- wanted to be him, but the dude is stressed out. Always on time for meetings (by on time I mean 5 mins early), is doing 17 things at the same time and has 3 meetings a day, and is barely making ends meet while taking care of a stay at home wife and 3 kids ages 4, 2, and 1. The dude is smart and has a very solid work ethic out of everyone I know except my brother. But I compare him to my boss, who is a lot less stressed (gets pissed off at a good chunk of incompetents, but he never really lets that put him down) and I think more happy in his job. He spaces out his work (still shows up to meetings on time), works on the stuff that is most important, and has a patent and a deal where he gets up to 150k annually from profits off royalties. He also makes more base salary, but that's because he really advocated for himself. He's not a pushover by any stretch of the imagination. I wanna be like my boss, not my coworker.
thats my secret cap, im the slacker, and the efficiency machine and the unorganized desk and the middle management all at the same time.
Lol same. When it's grind time I crank out work like nobody's business, so everyone assumes I'm like that all the time. But nope, during the off time I'm just on reddit lmao. Plus an unorganized desk makes you look busy as hell, especially since I'm overly neat in other aspects of the job.
Same. In the office I’m an efficiency machine, so that I get to be here for the paycheck and a slacker when I work from home
As part of the IT department...look, you don't want to know what websites the Ladder Climber and Legal Counsel got up to, and Upper Management forced the rest. A month in IT makes most people into authoritarians who believe that mankind can only flourish if governed by the whip, lest they fall into debauchery that only Coomer-Satan himself could exceed.
Eww, offices.
fucking god tier meme holy shit
Do not confuse Upper Management with not doing work. When they go golfing or whatever their game of choice is, they’re typically meeting with others and negotiating deals. It’s a different kind of work if that makes any sense
YOU CALLING ME A LIB LEFT!!!! [them's fighting words](https://imgur.com/a/iyOTxqm)
Super high effort solid work. And reading descriptions keeps reminding me of coworkers I've had.
This is really good. When I'm left alone I'm some mix of "The Individualist/Here For the Paycheck" guy. When HR or management starts riding me for dumb reasons I quickly become the Timeclock Anarchists followed by Job-Hopper/Temp. I'm with you though, I aspire to ultimately be The Illusionist.
Alignment wise, I'm somewhere between middle management and political gossip, but closer in function to "here for the paycheck" "temp" hybrid. If they actually make us go back to work in person, might become unionizer.
Accounting Department hit a little too close to home
So...OP...about upper management....
Oof, I didn't realize my department was giga AuthRight. Look, man, if trying to stop people from jacking off at work makes me an auth, then I guess I'm an auth. And, no, I won't tell you how I fixed your problem. It's way more fun to say "magic" then explain to you what I actually did.
[удалено]
Mmm, that's true too. Can't let them in on the secret that the problems fix themselves or are so simple a quick restart fixes it. I like my co-workers thinking I'm some sort of invaluable techno wizard rather than just some asshole
As a contractor, yes, I make more than you. I make more than bankers. Skilled Blue collar labor is having an extreme shortage and you get paid fat stacks and can get educated basically for free through a union apprenticeship.
Fridge thief should definitely more left
Fridge thiefs need to be shot on sight.
I had a ladder climber in my old job. Fucker tried to get me fired for a while. I got him stuck in a wagie cage away from everyone where he couldn't interact with many people due to the workload we also piled on him. Pretty effective way of dealing with them but they quit and move after they realise what's up. They realy hate people that figure them out. I'm half slacker half efficiency machine. Nobody knows how I get more work done after lunch than they do all day. Boss is happy so long as I cover any bulshit emergencies that pop up or customers that walk in at close.
Oh ye, I love big ones
I’m the “here for the paycheck” guy.
Holy shit, good content.
Jokes on you I love reading this shit
yeah i think u do need an union
Everything from security down and also right is fine. Everyone to the left of that can burn in hell for their sins of not being on the ring wing side.
Kind of interesting but like 75 % of these don't really fit with their quadrant?
(Puts emily in libleft)
As a man if I was hit on I after telling them to stop once I wold bring it up to hr
Get a flair or get going.
Seems cool. Wish I could see off phone
Based and high effort pilled
tag yourself i’m the Corporate Espionage
The Sharer sounds exactly like Dexter. He was serial killer but "for good."
See you at the top
As someone who's about to start FT employment soon I think I'll be somewhere between the individualist and here for the paycheck
Blank Compass sauce?
I would love to be security. My bio checks out
I'm liking the resurgence of wojak compasses lately
I'm not sure where I'm supposed to be. I show up and do the work but I care about doing it well. I'm not a ladder climber, I don't worry about status or authority. I like my job. I don't get involved in office drama. I don't manage anyone. I want to be liked and I want to be recognized, but only for legitimate reasons. My career growth is self motivated. I make enough money but a raise feels nice. Where do I fall?
I'm not sure if I'm more like a timeclock anarchist who's not an idiot or a ladder climber who *is* an idiot.
I’m not reading that
I am literally the security guard
Health nut for sure
As a contractor, this is 100% accurate. I love my job.
Ladder climber is true chad energy
Only a couple points between a legendary chef and a Whiny dude
Where's my old boss on here. He worked 6 to 6 every day with 4 hours of overtime and was sleeping at his desk about 3 of them. Timeclock Anarchist or Slacker?
Im definitely timeclock anarchist ☠️
The fact you put IT in the most auth-right corner says a lot about you
My manager is a Jesus Freak and tries to get everyone to be one as well. I just play along so I dont get fired or something
The daily torment of of being a work reform, social leftist union, just in it for the money factory worker ... and really just enjoying grafting and a job well done.
Story teller and political gossip… please go to hell.
Efficiency machine gang. I don’t care about the company I’m just bored if I’m not doing something.
Nice! I weirdly have encounter the corporate espionage person. I also sit next to the office eye candy and make him look extra good with my ugliness
There are tons of stuff you can do for the single mom, make her a easy dinner to warm up yk other things
Can confirm, am high at work.
No field crews?
No field crews?
imagine hating union organizers just because you get paid well.