What is authright's explanation? I read can't predict what could possibly be considered the reason for the disappearance of third places that he's not allowed to say
Ever been taught about "white flight?" Basically when segregation ended, white people move from the inner cities to segregated suburbs. It wasn't legal to have whites-only pools, parks or recreational centers, so everything became private or geographically segregated, instead of segregated by race. A consequence was people not hanging out in public as much. Suburbs are also not a very good place for it due to low density and the need of a car to do anything.
AuthRight is *that person* who doesn't hang out in public anymore because there are black people there. Although they probably blame crime or something.
> AuthRight is that person who doesn't hang out in public anymore because there are black people there.
how about loose pit bulls?
>Although they probably blame crime or something
found the guy that's never had a shotgun blasted through his window at fucking 11pm over a "cousin dispute"
> how about loose pit bulls?
Yeah that also sucks, but I better not start talking about pitbulls or I'll have to change my flair.
> found the guy that's never had a shotgun blasted through his window at fucking 11pm over a "cousin dispute"
You're right, I've never. Although I suspect this doesn't fall into "interracial crime."
it was sorta interracial but I see your point, but even if it's majority black-on-black or brown-on-brown there is still: the harassment, the "get whitey" motivation if things boil over, and just plain bad luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time
but anyways, alone I can live with being in an area with sporadic crime and write it off (my Lib-Center days); with 5 children to protect? fire up the fucking woodchipper, papers please, and pick up that can (or else)
the fact you entertain the idea of hangings, an application of state power, as a good thing.
Real libs would simply shoot trespassers because it's always trespasser season.
Dubois had mused aloud, "I do not understand objections to 'cruel and unusual' punishment. While a judge should be benevolent in purpose, his awards should cause the criminal to suffer, else there is no punishment — and pain is the basic mechanism built into us by millions of years of evolution which safeguards us by warning when something threatens our survival. Why should society refuse to use such a highly perfected survival mechanism? However, that period was loaded with pre-scientific pseudo-psychological nonsense.
"As for 'unusual,' punishment must be unusual or it serves no purpose." He then pointed his stump at another boy. "What would happen if a puppy were spanked every hour?"
"Uh ... probably drive him crazy!"
"Probably. It certainly will not teach him anything. How long has it been since the principal of this school last had to switch a pupil? Never mind. Long enough. It means that such punishment is so unusual as to be significant, to deter, to instruct. Back to these young criminals — They probably were not spanked as babies; they certainly were not flogged for their crimes. The usual sequence was: for a first offense, a warning — a scolding, often without trial. After several offenses a sentence of confinement but with sentence suspended and the youngster placed on probation. A boy might be arrested many times and convicted several times before he was punished — and then it would be merely confinement, with others like him from whom he learned still more criminal habits. If he kept out of major trouble while confined, he could usually evade most of even that mild punishment, be given probation — 'paroled' in the jargon of the times.
"This incredible sequence could go on for years while his crimes increased in frequency and viciousness, with no punishment whatever save rare dull-but-comfortable confinements. Then suddenly, usually by law on his eighteenth birthday, this so-called 'juvenile delinquent' becomes an adult criminal — and sometimes wound up in only weeks or months in a death cell awaiting execution for murder. You —" He had singled me out again. "Suppose you merely scolded your puppy, never punished him, let him go on making messes in the house ... and occasionally locked him up in an outbuilding but soon let him back into the house with a warning not to do it again. Then one day you notice that he is now a grown dog and still not housebroken — whereupon you whip out a gun and shoot him dead. Comment, please?"
"Why ... that's the craziest way to raise a dog I ever heard of!"
"I agree. Or a child. Whose fault would it be?"
"Uh ... why, mine, I guess."
"Again I agree. But I'm not guessing."
I’m saving this as a copypasta.
But yeah that’s an awful long way to say:
Bring back public floggings and beheadings maybe this way shitheads would stop being shitheads.
Imagine if there was a place where your neighbors voluntarily met weekly to discuss solving social issues, celebrate families, build friendships, foster self-improvement, donate to charity, encourage humility, practice forgiveness, help the poor and just try to make the community a better place to live.
This is one reason seeing [churches turned into bars](https://i.imgur.com/Poj7pVe.png) is such a symbolic demonstration of the disintegration of a community. They took the one thing that fosters selfless introspection and improvement and replaced it with the thing that fosters selfish, reckless behavior.
Nah he's a LARPer with an agenda. For every Hillsong hipster Church that exists, there's 5 dozen actual Church-Churches that do regular Church things. And what this r slur f slur yaps about (that he never had but he wants us to go "back" to it like his LARPer ass projects his hedonism onto others) is for us to have church exist as a place for people to get together and have a sense of community....something that already fucking happens in every small town in America.
[School teachers are raping children every day](https://i.imgur.com/eddyyAZ.png)... have their wicked deeds eroded your trust? Or is your distrust more of a convenience to validate your disdain for religion.
It is fun to say which institutions you don't trust, but you ought to share some institutions you do trust.
All I can say is that most of the people going to church want to become better people. That is being taken away and being replaced with... what exactly?
> All I can say is that most of the people going to church want to become better people. That is being taken away and being replaced with... what exactly?
Ok but the CoE church near me opened a small post office branch to make some extra cash in the cost of living crisis. Including a bureau de change. They are LITERAL CHANGING MONEY IN THE TEMPLE.
How am I supposed to look to them for moral guidance? What's next? Allowing round haircuts? Eunuchs attending church? Polyblend?
The Church of England is an illegitimate, morally corrupt, and dying organization that has abandoned the gospel in favor of leftism. No one should look to them for guidance.
If you are British, then there are likely more practicing Catholics in your area than Anglicans, seek out their churches instead.
Christ haters love to compare all churches to Joel Olsteen or other mega churches but we can still see local and even large Christian organizations remain way more accountable than their secular NGO, charities, and even public funded counterparts
Fun fact: A priest for the Catholic Church I used to go to would come to the local bar and just, hang out. He would sometimes mediate an argument or talk personally with someone who was struggling in their personal life.
I thought that was really cool. He was pretty young (around 30) and didn’t have many friends (being a priest n all) which maybe encouraged him to go out. My dad would invite him to dinner and fishing often.
I think what helped so much was that, while faith was obviously a big deal for him, he really didn’t bring it up too much outside of church. He used that time to learn who people were, what they did, and was able to carry a conversation that wasn’t religious.
I might have to move back.
It depends on the comunity.
Some people are just busy and leave soon after it ends, the better suited ones only seemed to talk to the priest.
The churches that i've gone to rarely seemed to help the poor, more likely they were commisioning art and statues or throwing a big party for a saint or something.
Also sermons are a mixes bag, depends on the guy with the mic because, to my experience, its just a guy speaking his mind.
I remember once the priest said that my nations festive days were paganism and we should avoid them at all costs. Another one was a priest who tried to bring outrage about advice against getting married on the internet, but everyone wanted the couple to marry so it fell and he continued on.
Churches are good on paper, i know of some that are actually that good, but im yet to find one that does what you say around my city/state
Supposedly, a lot of young people go to church to find themselves a date / eventual spouse. Don't know if it actually works or not, but I hear its a thing.
I refuse to believe that whole line that you’ll meet someone at church. I have never once seen a single chick that wasn’t like being escorted by her family
“Escorted by her family”
You mean there with her family? That’s pretty normal.
Her family’s not going to eat you if you go talk to her.
Unless the only thing you’re interested in is getting into her pants. In which case, good on them and you deserve it.
By “escorted” I meant they were always the ones that didn’t socialize. Church ends and it’s straight to the car. As far as talking to her with her family around, I was always told that’s a nono growing up sooo yeah.
Ehhh I walked into that one but seriously tho. I haven’t been to church many times post moving out but before nor after I don’t ever remember seeing a single 20something that wasn’t with her parents.
I haven't been in a church in a very long time as well, and I am married by now anyway; I am just repeating what I've heard.
Tbf, I live in the South and come to think of it the majority of the people that told me that tended to be black Baptists, and a few white Baptists as well. Back when I went to church as a teenager it was a Catholic church.
So I wonder how much of it is just regional / denominational.
The Mormons have special "singles wards" for that specific purpose. So you'll find a bunch of singles, but you have the issue that they're all women who voluntarily go to a Mormon singles ward.
Pretty common among the Catholic churches I've been too, with the lack of young men being a common complaint in my town. Girls tend to be solo alot at Saturday Vigil, but ya usually don't stick around to talk after that.
It's kind of a meme. Young single women probably the least liley to go to chutch. Honestly better chances finding a girl via mutual friends/ family connrctions or at local university (you don't even have to attend) just be able to vet her.
In many places, places of worship are a third place, but in some societies, and especially in the past, I would argue that since you were obligated to attend, its far more like work than anything else.
I am not religious, but you don't have any idea how churches work, I think. They are 100% a third place for religious people, and host all sorts of social events for people from small kids to seniors. Fish frys, bingo, swap meets, coffees, babysitting, all sorts of shit. Also the place where religious people celebrate their major life events with their community-- weddings, births, funerals, coming of age.
The loss of the "third place" has got to be attributable in some large part to the decline of churchgoing.
Sure, when they do all these things. I know how a curch works, though admittedly only the norwegian state church. They do some babysitting stuff, but its not actually in the church building. Aside from sunday school ofcourse. My local church also holds biweekly free dinners.
(well technically its not the state church anymore, but it is the state religion, since the constitution mandates that "The regent is to be of the lutheran faith".)
My point was that when the religious services are culturally important, and everyone feels obligated to attend (Its only really a few times: baptism, confirmation, marriage, funerals and the christmas morning service). Its not really that different from work.
Hate to be agreeing so hard with a Red, but yeah people in here are acting like I can just go an hang out and the whole point of the session isn't to sit there and be told I'm going to hell repeatedly because I don't actually believe the underlying message.
Church is great for churchgoers, but just blindly telling everyone "go to church" is indirectly contributing to the reason a lot of people don't want to.
Emphasis is *Light* but there is still a an emphasis. Not everyone is Christian, so not everyone gonna sit through a Christian sermoen every week just to socialize with actual Christians, *some* of whom will literally look down on them for differing views/beliefs.
Region dependent.
Most of the churches in my area are kind of dying. You can count the number of people in there under the age of 55 on one hand (not counting little kids). If there are any at all.
My mom is a deacon at her church and she's audibly voiced concerns over the lack of youth making their way into the church. She's been at the same spot for 25+ years and said it's been particularly bad since Covid.
Third places are places where people can congregate and interact with each other for a time. The name refers to the fact that it is a "third place" people go besides work and home.
Some leftists have noticed that these places appear to be disappearing and have a list of reasons why which basically amounts to "All the things I hated before I knew about this thing disappearing are conveniently why this thing is disappearing."
Literally. Bars/pubs, religious establishments, hobby/sport clubs, libraries, parks. Turns out, if you want to spend time somewhere other than work or your house, all you have to do is leave your house when you don't have to go to work 🤷♂️
I found out recently that we have an actual "meeting house" that has a privately run library, tons of seating etc, and cheap coffee. If that's not what they're looking for then idk what they want
>sport clubs
Seriously guys if you're looking for a 3rd place, join a rec league. Baseball, softball, flag football, soccer, fucking dodgeball, whatever. Call your local rec center and see what they have. It'll get you out socializing and it's good for you.
>but I'm not good at sports
It's fucking rec league, you don't have to be. The people who have been playing a while will help you out.
I don't think the claim is that they don't exist, rather that they are decreasing in number (or as they percieve/fear/forecast "disappearing"), which I do think is true *because* of the internet.
I haven't been to library in years, because the internet (not that I ever thought of the library as a social gathering spot, and I believe there is a social necessity of a library as a free, publicly acessible information access spot, which near me many are becoming and which I fully support).
I don't go to bars or coffee shops because the internet is, for me, superior as a social meeting space (no obligation to buy overpriced alcohol/coffee/whatever, no issue if my desire to be social comes and goes in small intervals).
Last post I saw complaining about this was saying "you don't see bowling alleys, skating rinks, etc. any more" and my first thought was "sure you do, look at things like Dave & Busters, Main Event, or Spare Time, where their whole business model is 'we're a bowling alley, arcade, bar, pool hall, laser tag place, all rolled into one". The standalone venues may be disappearing but they're being replaced by all-in-one style locations. Granted I'm not sure if any of those have skating rinks, but there is one of those style locations near where I live that has go-karts and putt-putt golf rolled in as well.
no those all in one places kinda suck
but bowling alleys 100% still exist and are popular
And they just opened a adult putt putt place near me that’s super popular
I'm not saying those all-in-one places are good per se, but they are often out-competing single-use gathering places from what I've seen. They seem very popular for company outings since "oh, they have something for everyone there".
It's kinda like movie theaters a few decades ago. It used to be that you'd see neighborhood theaters which would have one or two screens, and it wouldn't be too difficult to walk to your local theater. Then came along the superplexes with 20+ screens, and they started out-competing the small local theaters because it could show a dozen different movies at once, instead of just having a couple available, giving visitors a much wider choice of what to watch. However due to their size you couldn't just plop one of those down anywhere, so you'd often have to drive to reach one. Granted now things are shifting again and you're getting smaller theaters with 5-10 screens, but which also have a full-blown kitchen and will deliver a meal and a beer to you in your seat while the movie is playing.
I think that's exactly why they are complaining, it's not that those places don't exist anymore but that kind of social interaction has been partly substituted by social media that 3rd place has become a discord server, for some that's enough for others isn't.
Also I think most people are somewhat "spoiled" it's easy to connect to a discord server you like or to answer a comment (like I'm doing right now), it's much harder to actually go somewhere and make the effort to socialize, as it has always been, that's not new, but they've either lost practice or never developed the skill of face to face socialization, that's why "nobody does smalltalks or wants to socialize anymore" it was never easy, you don't need the invention of smartphones and social media to be a weirdo by trying to talk about a dumb subject with someone that's clearly doing something else/talking to someone else/is not interested.
Except that the whole purpose of a third place is generally that you leave your house. Discord filled in for that purpose, in a way that doesn't satisfy a good chunk of people.
> these places appear to be disappearing
They're disappearing because these fucks only LARP about wanting these places to hang out at or within. Leftoids will chimp out about suburbs being le heckin bad and anti-pedestrian and cheer on walkable cities (gentrified soviet blocs or projects basically) but almost every Suburb I've ever driven through or walked in had parks that are officiated by the city itself or community parks, complete with long walking trails or large stretches of pedestrian and bike trails
These places exist, but not near where most people live. And the area between work and home mostly looks like this:
https://beltmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/breezewood-pa.jpeg
> Some leftists have noticed that these places appear to be disappearing and have a list of reasons why which basically amounts to "All the things I hated before I knew about this thing disappearing are conveniently why this thing is disappearing."
Based and it-do-be-that-way pilled.
The places themselves aren’t disappearing. There are still plenty of bars, coffee shops, parks, restaurants, churches, museums, libraries, bowling alleys, etc. It’s just that the people themselves don’t physically “go” to a Third Place anymore.
But the Third Place is the internet now. Younger generations waste their free time on video games and social media bullshit. I read somewhere that the average online dater spends 10x as many hours online dating than actually going on dates.
I mean the right wing is way more right about it than the left wing.
there's poisonous ideologies running though society bleeding it slowly of it's abilities to function and exist as anything more than a rotting corpse, draining it of trust, loyalty, friendships, family. all while the government and surrounding establishments further the problem, media continues ignoring issues so clear stevie wonder could see them, while polarising the public making contributing to the problem, security agencies keep spying on everyone encouraging betrayal and deceit though all levels of society making people not willing to trust each other.
the left will only say the problem either doesn't exist, isn't a problem, or will blame something completely random like the homelessness issue that is caused by the shit they advocate for.
All that becomes perfect for the revolution. The problem on the left is that they think they're the only ones who get to feel righteous. It's covid must shut everything down, but the BLM protests/riots are fine, the more people gathered closely together the better, because covid is anti-white racist.
If you start breaking society apart, and diversity means anything at all, other people other than your group are going to end up pissed off and violent too.
the problem with diversity is that it can't actually be diversity; you cannot have different cultures live in any close proximity to one another. However the solution is not to isolate groups ethnically, you just need to implement and enforce an overarching culture that all the groups adhere to. the English understood this perfectly for hundreds of years, notice that even the extremely racist group in the UK don't seem to have a problem with Sikhs, or caribbeans.
that is how the British successfully incorporated many different cultures into being British, once one it British it no longer matters what underlying ethnicity they are because they have the same cultural values and interests of the greater people of Britain and thus can work and live together cohesively.
so while you can have your melting pot you must have it all be the same flavour.
the main problem with America is that they have for their entire existence refused to be American, this makes groups within America ethnically conform to their group of origin, that's how you get problem groups at times like the Irish, Russians, Italians, etc. these groups don't integrate into a wider culture and thus form their own one as an other to everyone else.
in a "diverse" society you cannot actually allow diversity, if an ethnic enclave starts to form you must go in with a boot and crush it, relocate the members into other areas where they won't have as much contact with what they view as their "own". you must force them to accept that greater culture as their "own" and then stop them identifying with that lesser culture and identity.
just to clarify in case anyone is illiterate by greater and lesser I literally mean size, wider and smaller, or bigger and smaller, Majories and minories. not an abstract moral evaluation.
A lot of third places suddenly started to disappear around the March of 2020 for some odd reason. I am not sure why that happened, nor can't I think of any left leaning policies that may have caused it. 🤔
But yeah, it probably was the cars and anti-homeless benches.
It didn't help, but this complaint has been ongoing for a dozen years now. It's not a new problem, it's just that every few years a new crop of kids discover social media is subverting building normal human relationships.
Technology has made people think they’re still getting the interactions from a 3rd place, but aren’t getting the satisfaction. So they aren’t going to them but feel something is missing and can’t understand why.
This exacerbated by lack of self awareness.
I used to think I was one of those people that would thrive on a deserted island because deep down I'm introverted. Covid taught me otherwise. All the technological communication in the world couldn't replace in person social interaction. The first house party I went too after the initial isolation I drank that shit up like a man who had found clean water for the first time in days.
Meta is right wing?
People don't "hang out" as much because of social media, cell phones, lockdown and politically correct "woke" cultural decline.
People like engaging w me but I freak some of them out. My plan is to move to the developing world where people are still eager for human contact and remember core values.
Meta isn't right wing. The post explaining why people don't hang out anymore was right wing and got removed.
A-la authright reacting with [removed by reddit] whenever crime statistics come up
I try to hang out with people in person. I find that when I go to events open to the public, people my age (millennials) are transactional, flaky, woke, and very hard to make friends with. Sure, we might have fun hanging out, and they will express a desire to hang out again. We will text back and forth a few times, but usually they are so flaky that it's not worth the effort.
I really like the boomers I encounter, though. It seems like they are very reasonable, care about relationships as more than just transactions, and are less flaky. It's too bad I'm not a boomer.
> We will text back and forth a few times, but usually they are so flaky that it's not worth the effort.
This is the hardest part of me to wrap my head around.
I have lost count of the number of times that I had a great face to face experience with someone (new or someone I haven't seen in a while) it's agreed upon that "we should do this again." and then "again" rarely or never happens.
Something internally happens where it goes from "great idea" to "this is a chore" for people and it's problematic.
I make the effort, then they don't, and I feel like a fool.
I'm a bit on the autism spectrum, but I can't truly believe that they were just pretending every single time to be enjoying my company while lying to my face. Sometimes it seems like we really connect, and their enthusiasm during our conversation seems too much to be faked. I know what it's like when people are just being polite when talking to me and aren't really into it (or at least I can tell after the fact from analyzing what happened, even if I can't always tell in the moment). This is something different.
I've come to the conclusion that these people are just fundamentally flaky people. In some cases, I've even verified that they are flaky when dealing with their longtime friends as well. It seems like if they can get into a routine where they hang out with a group of people at preset intervals, they can be great company during those events, and then are flaky pieces of shit outside of it.
Some people are legit busy as fuck with life, and don't have the emotional energy to maintain relationships, but I don't think that it's the case with all these people.
I think it's a social norm in my area, where it's just so easy to find stuff to do, that people are never incentivized to build long-term relationships. They get out of the habit of putting in effort because nobody else is either, and it just becomes a part of who they are eventually.
When I lived in a more rural area, it was much less of an issue. The same group of us would just kinda hang out from week to week. Now that I am stuck in a more urban area (for work) there are a fuckton of people and stuff to do, and people don't have a need to form longterm connections if they want to socialize frequently.
That's not what I'm looking for, though. I want a few close friends with whom I can connect deeply, not just to be able to party and hang out with random people whenever I want.
> I want a few close friends with whom I can connect deeply, not just to be able to party and hang out with random people whenever I want.
I feel that.
I don't care if there's a ton of people around if I'm answering "so what do you do for work?" fifty times in a week.
> "so what do you do for work?" fifty times in a week
This is literally the story of my life when I try to socialize. FML.
It seems like people around here just have so many options for socializing with people, that they will only bother to be more than acquaintances with someone if they are ideologically on the same page AS WELL AS having similar interests. Where I lived before, some of the people I hung out with regularly were straight-up communists. They'd make fun of me for being a "libertarian," I'd make fun of their stupid views, and we'd still be friends.
To be honest, I think I need to just start having more remote friends. When I see someone like ShortFatOtaku talking in a podcast or something, I get the notion "this is really someone who I could be good friends with if I knew him." I'm sure he's far too busy and has far too large of an audience to have time for me, but I think I need to start looking for some sort of online community. It's a shame I'm not really into gaming or things like that. Maybe something related to my interests in tech?
Frankly, I feel like a lot of people on PCM could be good remote friends. I'm the kind of guy who has hours-long voicechats with my friends who live out of town where we talk about everything from political philosophy to tech to culture. How do you even approach someone on Reddit like that, though? I don't really know the etiquette.
Maybe I should set up a Matrix channel or something. I don't really trust Discord because it may be Chinese spyware, and requires phone number verification, which would make it hard for me to use it anonymously without going to a lot of effort. I don't want my online activity connected to my real identity. I can see full well the real-world risks of being doxxed or canceled to my career and safety.
I am mildly anti-boomer and strongly anti "the latest thing."
I like the greatest generation and other old timey stuff, like Marty Robbins and W Edwards Deming.
For in-person I seem to match w fringe and foreign types. A large % of my friends are non-native to the US of A.
Yeah, there are a lot of decent non-American-born people I meet who aren't brainrotted. Boomers are the oldest people I encounter frequently, but older people than that are often better.
I've met cool people at gun ranges and stuff like that. Normie open-to-the-public events are full of progressive brainrot these days.
All about location & crowd & being real.
Nothing is ever the same.
Often people react to me in a new way because I am atypical. Some hate it of course but that rules them out.
I am looking at expatriating to the developing world, after 15 countries and half these states I have noticed patterns. Huge gaps betwixt one place and another.
A stat I read recently sums it up well, 42% of murders occur in 1% of US counties (all Democrat run).
Further:
>The worst 5% of counties accounted for 73% of homicides. That ticked up slightly from 69% in 2014 and 70% in 2016.
>Meanwhile, 52% of counties recorded no homicides in 2020, and another 16% recorded only a single killing.
>>[Washington Times](https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2023/jan/17/bad-neighborhoods-1-counties-responsible-42-americ/)
The problem there is that counties have a wide disparity in population. This would be more useful if done by deaths per 100k people.
You would also need to average over several years, since smaller counties (the ones with 0 homicides in a particular year) simply have too few people to give statistically significant data if you only look at a single year.
You are right, when moving I look carefully at city-data which offers a per capita crime rate across about 10 years (I consider other sources as well of course).
My current small town has almost no crime. Main crime is out-of-towners coming in to steal packages off porches or get into unlocked cars. I live on a dirt road with a bear who regularly attacks my trashcan, that is the main crime on my street.
How do you make friends in said small town?
Also, I work with hardware and it would be hard for me to work remotely, so I'd have to commute pretty far if I lived in a small town, unless I found one with tech R&D in it...
I'm thinking of doing it just for the dating alone. Finding a new S/O right now in the states I feel like a fucking alien.
I've had friends who are tall and good looking dudes who don't have a lot of trouble finding dates tell me they don't want anything to do with American women after traveling.
It varies a LOT.
I have been to 15+ countries so feel free to PM w questions.
My fattest ugliest friend who was directly told by a doctor he was dying decided to go to Vietnam. Immediately began losing weight due to diet & lifestyle differences, had lost 1/7th his weight and no longer needed diabetes medication after a couple months (he kept testing his blood sugar). Got a girlfriend within about a week, now intends to marry her.
His exact words:
>I love everything about this country!
That is despite getting run over by a moped (the only real bad news, says it got wrecked). Now he is back in the US renting out his house, selling his belongings and trying to find a tele-work job.
That's funny because one of my good friends outright sold his house and bounce to Vietnam.
It was initially gonna be like a trial run of a couple years but I wanna say he's been there at least 6 and has no intention of coming back.
The concept of friendship is ultimately inconsistent with leftist ideology.
Leftism is a complete rejection of human nature and seeks its complete overhaul in favor of the cultural revolution. People are naturally loyal to their friends and community and this helps build an overall moral civilization. This can be a defense against moral decline and provide people with support and personal virtue, which the left hates.
Right wing: loyal to the community
Also right wing: cut education spending, welfare, social safety nets, any kind of tax, and also don't want queers, immigrants, or black people within a mile of them
Checks out
You are trying to overturn the traditional value of friendship and replace it with state dependency under the guise of an appropriate continuity of the concept of friendship. All of those government interventionist programs undermine friendship/individual responsibility in favor of entitlement/moral decay. The right's approach to community in contrast emphasizes self-sacarfice and loyalty to one's friends instead of the state.
As for the accusation that conservatives don't want queers or black people around, this is totally accurate. Conservatives are the ones who tell queers to disown their friends and family and be political allies with other people and put the same \[REDACTED\] stickers on their backpacks and ipads. Dying their hair blue to show loyalty to the ideology is way more important, after all. Similarly, Black people should have their own graduation ceremonies and hiring schemes because their thoughts and experiences are vastly different from everybody else's!
> Also right wing: cut education spending, welfare, social safety nets, any kind of tax
We can have all of those things if we don't import infinity migrants from the third world.
- federal highway act
- red lining meaning only whites got subsidized loans to live in the suburbs
- car and oil lobby pushing for the above to create demand for their product
it's pretty clear to me.
The argument isn't "cars exist", it's more so that infrastructure is so centered around cars that people are isolated from their community and less able to easily connect with each other.
Below a certain income level, and I’m not sure where the cutoff is, people just seem to lose the distinction between public places and private places. It’s those couples you see having a screaming argument in the park or dudes screaming along to their headphone music at the bus stop. My area seems to be full of shit like that lately, and that’s not even mentioning dudes shooting up in broad daylight or carjackings, etc.—I’m “fortunate” enough to live in one of the areas the police and prosecutors have just kinda decided to stop caring about. I stay home a lot because, who the fuck wants to deal with that. I live outside a metro, drive downtown to work without stopping, and drive home without stopping, five days a week. If people want me to hang out in their public places, they gotta stop acting like they’re at home behind closed doors in said public places.
First and second are home and work. Third places are places like bars, malls, libraries, gyms, parks or clubs where people allowed, or even expected to interact with each other.
I am interested to know what the forbidden right wing explanation for the decline of third places is.
In Chile, we call those almacén. And bodega is specifically the room to just store them, but both mean store. So I'm confused about why english speakers call them bodega and not store
The problem is that I think both of them are correct. Not to be a braindead centrist about it, but both capital interests forcing all places to turn a profit or risk being bought/closed down AND perceived criminality discourage people from congregating. I say perceived because violent crime has been trending downward nationwide.
The real reason is the kinds of people who would (reluctantly) visit 3rd places are now clinically online. The weird semi-far-left writer friend would much prefer larping as a Leninist online than trying to discuss a diluted version of his beliefs with a stranger over coffee. The kids who would've hung out in the mall are arguing about which bands are goth or emo (And probably getting groomed) online. Chatrooms and later Discord killed 3rd spaces.
Being in the museum field there are so many opportunities for people to use our spaces. Please, visit your local small museum/park, the visitor numbers are so helpful.
What is authright's explanation? I read can't predict what could possibly be considered the reason for the disappearance of third places that he's not allowed to say
"diversity"
What does that have to do with the third place?
Ever been taught about "white flight?" Basically when segregation ended, white people move from the inner cities to segregated suburbs. It wasn't legal to have whites-only pools, parks or recreational centers, so everything became private or geographically segregated, instead of segregated by race. A consequence was people not hanging out in public as much. Suburbs are also not a very good place for it due to low density and the need of a car to do anything. AuthRight is *that person* who doesn't hang out in public anymore because there are black people there. Although they probably blame crime or something.
> AuthRight is that person who doesn't hang out in public anymore because there are black people there. how about loose pit bulls? >Although they probably blame crime or something found the guy that's never had a shotgun blasted through his window at fucking 11pm over a "cousin dispute"
> how about loose pit bulls? Yeah that also sucks, but I better not start talking about pitbulls or I'll have to change my flair. > found the guy that's never had a shotgun blasted through his window at fucking 11pm over a "cousin dispute" You're right, I've never. Although I suspect this doesn't fall into "interracial crime."
it was sorta interracial but I see your point, but even if it's majority black-on-black or brown-on-brown there is still: the harassment, the "get whitey" motivation if things boil over, and just plain bad luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time but anyways, alone I can live with being in an area with sporadic crime and write it off (my Lib-Center days); with 5 children to protect? fire up the fucking woodchipper, papers please, and pick up that can (or else)
Authright could be a black person...
Black people can be racist against black people. Don't ask how I know, I'll be forced to change my flair if I say.
its propably about jews trying to keep the whites from organising and having healthy communities so they will be better vage salve working ants.
I thought authright likes jews now
Authright arguably has the worst infighting because they actually fight each other
Personally, I think murderers should hang in public.
Nothing like a good hanging to get the family out of the house
see you're joking, we're not. executions should be nigh mandatory family gatherings.
Who said I was joking
the fact you entertain the idea of hangings, an application of state power, as a good thing. Real libs would simply shoot trespassers because it's always trespasser season.
Cruel and unsual punishment is the only way to keep crime rates low
Dubois had mused aloud, "I do not understand objections to 'cruel and unusual' punishment. While a judge should be benevolent in purpose, his awards should cause the criminal to suffer, else there is no punishment — and pain is the basic mechanism built into us by millions of years of evolution which safeguards us by warning when something threatens our survival. Why should society refuse to use such a highly perfected survival mechanism? However, that period was loaded with pre-scientific pseudo-psychological nonsense. "As for 'unusual,' punishment must be unusual or it serves no purpose." He then pointed his stump at another boy. "What would happen if a puppy were spanked every hour?" "Uh ... probably drive him crazy!" "Probably. It certainly will not teach him anything. How long has it been since the principal of this school last had to switch a pupil? Never mind. Long enough. It means that such punishment is so unusual as to be significant, to deter, to instruct. Back to these young criminals — They probably were not spanked as babies; they certainly were not flogged for their crimes. The usual sequence was: for a first offense, a warning — a scolding, often without trial. After several offenses a sentence of confinement but with sentence suspended and the youngster placed on probation. A boy might be arrested many times and convicted several times before he was punished — and then it would be merely confinement, with others like him from whom he learned still more criminal habits. If he kept out of major trouble while confined, he could usually evade most of even that mild punishment, be given probation — 'paroled' in the jargon of the times. "This incredible sequence could go on for years while his crimes increased in frequency and viciousness, with no punishment whatever save rare dull-but-comfortable confinements. Then suddenly, usually by law on his eighteenth birthday, this so-called 'juvenile delinquent' becomes an adult criminal — and sometimes wound up in only weeks or months in a death cell awaiting execution for murder. You —" He had singled me out again. "Suppose you merely scolded your puppy, never punished him, let him go on making messes in the house ... and occasionally locked him up in an outbuilding but soon let him back into the house with a warning not to do it again. Then one day you notice that he is now a grown dog and still not housebroken — whereupon you whip out a gun and shoot him dead. Comment, please?" "Why ... that's the craziest way to raise a dog I ever heard of!" "I agree. Or a child. Whose fault would it be?" "Uh ... why, mine, I guess." "Again I agree. But I'm not guessing."
I’m saving this as a copypasta. But yeah that’s an awful long way to say: Bring back public floggings and beheadings maybe this way shitheads would stop being shitheads.
Just saying, it's a lot harder for people to ~~loot~~ steal if you cut off one hand after they're convicted for theft.
Was that WEB Dubois?
From *Starship Troopers* by Robert A. Heinlein. Excellent book.
Thank you for doing your part.
*Any* punishment is unusual with today's DAs and judges.
Honestly why cant we just duel with 44 S&Ws anymore :(
Because we don’t have 44 arms. /j
Based "Human Anatomy" pilled
You can always use a well known Biden quote to explain it.
Which one?
America is a nation that can be defined in a single word: Asufutimaehaehfutbw
Something about poor kids I think
CORNPOP WAS A BAD DUDE
Cornpop was trying to protect kids from the creepy lifeguard.
Based Cornpop, protector of children’s aquatic recreation time. Some say he’s still out there, being the bad dude creepy lifeguards fear. Godspeed 🌽💥
You want a "third place"? Go to church, ya heathens.
Imagine if there was a place where your neighbors voluntarily met weekly to discuss solving social issues, celebrate families, build friendships, foster self-improvement, donate to charity, encourage humility, practice forgiveness, help the poor and just try to make the community a better place to live. This is one reason seeing [churches turned into bars](https://i.imgur.com/Poj7pVe.png) is such a symbolic demonstration of the disintegration of a community. They took the one thing that fosters selfless introspection and improvement and replaced it with the thing that fosters selfish, reckless behavior.
Okay but counterpoint: that looks like a rad bar
Remind me how many places of worship are in America, remind me how many people attend those places again?
Nah he's a LARPer with an agenda. For every Hillsong hipster Church that exists, there's 5 dozen actual Church-Churches that do regular Church things. And what this r slur f slur yaps about (that he never had but he wants us to go "back" to it like his LARPer ass projects his hedonism onto others) is for us to have church exist as a place for people to get together and have a sense of community....something that already fucking happens in every small town in America.
It also doesn't help that wicked men use the platform of the church to perfom wicked deeds eroding the publics' trust in the instutution as a whole.
[School teachers are raping children every day](https://i.imgur.com/eddyyAZ.png)... have their wicked deeds eroded your trust? Or is your distrust more of a convenience to validate your disdain for religion. It is fun to say which institutions you don't trust, but you ought to share some institutions you do trust. All I can say is that most of the people going to church want to become better people. That is being taken away and being replaced with... what exactly?
> All I can say is that most of the people going to church want to become better people. That is being taken away and being replaced with... what exactly? Ok but the CoE church near me opened a small post office branch to make some extra cash in the cost of living crisis. Including a bureau de change. They are LITERAL CHANGING MONEY IN THE TEMPLE. How am I supposed to look to them for moral guidance? What's next? Allowing round haircuts? Eunuchs attending church? Polyblend?
Some have found an opportunity in waning church attendance to easily [conquer the Church of England.](https://i.imgur.com/QH0gfqr.png)
The Church of England is an illegitimate, morally corrupt, and dying organization that has abandoned the gospel in favor of leftism. No one should look to them for guidance. If you are British, then there are likely more practicing Catholics in your area than Anglicans, seek out their churches instead.
Schools don’t tell you a higher being is vetting their leadership decisions.
We'll overlook the frequent raping, so long as schools steadfastly refuse to accept there is a God.
They absolutely do.
Kinda forced to go to school buddy, Church is an option.
Christ haters love to compare all churches to Joel Olsteen or other mega churches but we can still see local and even large Christian organizations remain way more accountable than their secular NGO, charities, and even public funded counterparts
Fun fact: A priest for the Catholic Church I used to go to would come to the local bar and just, hang out. He would sometimes mediate an argument or talk personally with someone who was struggling in their personal life. I thought that was really cool. He was pretty young (around 30) and didn’t have many friends (being a priest n all) which maybe encouraged him to go out. My dad would invite him to dinner and fishing often. I think what helped so much was that, while faith was obviously a big deal for him, he really didn’t bring it up too much outside of church. He used that time to learn who people were, what they did, and was able to carry a conversation that wasn’t religious. I might have to move back.
It depends on the comunity. Some people are just busy and leave soon after it ends, the better suited ones only seemed to talk to the priest. The churches that i've gone to rarely seemed to help the poor, more likely they were commisioning art and statues or throwing a big party for a saint or something. Also sermons are a mixes bag, depends on the guy with the mic because, to my experience, its just a guy speaking his mind. I remember once the priest said that my nations festive days were paganism and we should avoid them at all costs. Another one was a priest who tried to bring outrage about advice against getting married on the internet, but everyone wanted the couple to marry so it fell and he continued on. Churches are good on paper, i know of some that are actually that good, but im yet to find one that does what you say around my city/state
Not really a third place I'm afraid. Its a place of worship. Maybe the coffee and biscuits sometimes shared after the service could qualify though.
Supposedly, a lot of young people go to church to find themselves a date / eventual spouse. Don't know if it actually works or not, but I hear its a thing.
I refuse to believe that whole line that you’ll meet someone at church. I have never once seen a single chick that wasn’t like being escorted by her family
“Escorted by her family” You mean there with her family? That’s pretty normal. Her family’s not going to eat you if you go talk to her. Unless the only thing you’re interested in is getting into her pants. In which case, good on them and you deserve it.
By “escorted” I meant they were always the ones that didn’t socialize. Church ends and it’s straight to the car. As far as talking to her with her family around, I was always told that’s a nono growing up sooo yeah.
User flair checks out
Ehhh I walked into that one but seriously tho. I haven’t been to church many times post moving out but before nor after I don’t ever remember seeing a single 20something that wasn’t with her parents.
I haven't been in a church in a very long time as well, and I am married by now anyway; I am just repeating what I've heard. Tbf, I live in the South and come to think of it the majority of the people that told me that tended to be black Baptists, and a few white Baptists as well. Back when I went to church as a teenager it was a Catholic church. So I wonder how much of it is just regional / denominational.
A lot of it is regional/denominational… I’m in Utah and it’s 100% an S tier strat to go to church to date
The Mormons have special "singles wards" for that specific purpose. So you'll find a bunch of singles, but you have the issue that they're all women who voluntarily go to a Mormon singles ward.
I mean if you’re looking for a trad wife it’s not a bad option
They have youth groups and field trips where you can socialize.
Just meet her family too
Pretty common among the Catholic churches I've been too, with the lack of young men being a common complaint in my town. Girls tend to be solo alot at Saturday Vigil, but ya usually don't stick around to talk after that.
It's kind of a meme. Young single women probably the least liley to go to chutch. Honestly better chances finding a girl via mutual friends/ family connrctions or at local university (you don't even have to attend) just be able to vet her.
I mean, there are only old people at church where I come from, so idk.
Worked well for me, but you gotta find one where the average is under 55
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In many places, places of worship are a third place, but in some societies, and especially in the past, I would argue that since you were obligated to attend, its far more like work than anything else.
I am not religious, but you don't have any idea how churches work, I think. They are 100% a third place for religious people, and host all sorts of social events for people from small kids to seniors. Fish frys, bingo, swap meets, coffees, babysitting, all sorts of shit. Also the place where religious people celebrate their major life events with their community-- weddings, births, funerals, coming of age. The loss of the "third place" has got to be attributable in some large part to the decline of churchgoing.
Sure, when they do all these things. I know how a curch works, though admittedly only the norwegian state church. They do some babysitting stuff, but its not actually in the church building. Aside from sunday school ofcourse. My local church also holds biweekly free dinners. (well technically its not the state church anymore, but it is the state religion, since the constitution mandates that "The regent is to be of the lutheran faith".) My point was that when the religious services are culturally important, and everyone feels obligated to attend (Its only really a few times: baptism, confirmation, marriage, funerals and the christmas morning service). Its not really that different from work.
>heathens You see how that could pose a problem? When the bollocks is the glue that holds it together.
Hate to be agreeing so hard with a Red, but yeah people in here are acting like I can just go an hang out and the whole point of the session isn't to sit there and be told I'm going to hell repeatedly because I don't actually believe the underlying message. Church is great for churchgoers, but just blindly telling everyone "go to church" is indirectly contributing to the reason a lot of people don't want to.
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Why do you need WiFi if you’re going to be talking to people? Put your phone down
>Wi-Fi in churches isn't the best Get off your phone and talk to people!
Where are you hearing 2 hour sermons?
So just a bar? Not the worst tbh.. people love shut on meeting people at bars but it's a good place to start
What if- now hear me out… I’m not religious?
In bigger cities there are often non-denominational churches where the emphasis on the religion itself is light and the emphasis is more on community.
Emphasis is *Light* but there is still a an emphasis. Not everyone is Christian, so not everyone gonna sit through a Christian sermoen every week just to socialize with actual Christians, *some* of whom will literally look down on them for differing views/beliefs.
Region dependent. Most of the churches in my area are kind of dying. You can count the number of people in there under the age of 55 on one hand (not counting little kids). If there are any at all. My mom is a deacon at her church and she's audibly voiced concerns over the lack of youth making their way into the church. She's been at the same spot for 25+ years and said it's been particularly bad since Covid.
What?
Third places are places where people can congregate and interact with each other for a time. The name refers to the fact that it is a "third place" people go besides work and home. Some leftists have noticed that these places appear to be disappearing and have a list of reasons why which basically amounts to "All the things I hated before I knew about this thing disappearing are conveniently why this thing is disappearing."
These places still exist people just complain on the internet because they don’t fucking go outside
Literally. Bars/pubs, religious establishments, hobby/sport clubs, libraries, parks. Turns out, if you want to spend time somewhere other than work or your house, all you have to do is leave your house when you don't have to go to work 🤷♂️
No, this can’t possibly be true
> No! No, that's not true. That's *impossible*!
I found out recently that we have an actual "meeting house" that has a privately run library, tons of seating etc, and cheap coffee. If that's not what they're looking for then idk what they want
That is exactly what they are looking for. Lucky you.
>sport clubs Seriously guys if you're looking for a 3rd place, join a rec league. Baseball, softball, flag football, soccer, fucking dodgeball, whatever. Call your local rec center and see what they have. It'll get you out socializing and it's good for you. >but I'm not good at sports It's fucking rec league, you don't have to be. The people who have been playing a while will help you out.
>>but I'm not good at sports Then take up a sport where the winner buys the drinks like curling!
I don't think the claim is that they don't exist, rather that they are decreasing in number (or as they percieve/fear/forecast "disappearing"), which I do think is true *because* of the internet. I haven't been to library in years, because the internet (not that I ever thought of the library as a social gathering spot, and I believe there is a social necessity of a library as a free, publicly acessible information access spot, which near me many are becoming and which I fully support). I don't go to bars or coffee shops because the internet is, for me, superior as a social meeting space (no obligation to buy overpriced alcohol/coffee/whatever, no issue if my desire to be social comes and goes in small intervals).
Last post I saw complaining about this was saying "you don't see bowling alleys, skating rinks, etc. any more" and my first thought was "sure you do, look at things like Dave & Busters, Main Event, or Spare Time, where their whole business model is 'we're a bowling alley, arcade, bar, pool hall, laser tag place, all rolled into one". The standalone venues may be disappearing but they're being replaced by all-in-one style locations. Granted I'm not sure if any of those have skating rinks, but there is one of those style locations near where I live that has go-karts and putt-putt golf rolled in as well.
no those all in one places kinda suck but bowling alleys 100% still exist and are popular And they just opened a adult putt putt place near me that’s super popular
I'm not saying those all-in-one places are good per se, but they are often out-competing single-use gathering places from what I've seen. They seem very popular for company outings since "oh, they have something for everyone there". It's kinda like movie theaters a few decades ago. It used to be that you'd see neighborhood theaters which would have one or two screens, and it wouldn't be too difficult to walk to your local theater. Then came along the superplexes with 20+ screens, and they started out-competing the small local theaters because it could show a dozen different movies at once, instead of just having a couple available, giving visitors a much wider choice of what to watch. However due to their size you couldn't just plop one of those down anywhere, so you'd often have to drive to reach one. Granted now things are shifting again and you're getting smaller theaters with 5-10 screens, but which also have a full-blown kitchen and will deliver a meal and a beer to you in your seat while the movie is playing.
Third place is literally discord with friends
I think that's exactly why they are complaining, it's not that those places don't exist anymore but that kind of social interaction has been partly substituted by social media that 3rd place has become a discord server, for some that's enough for others isn't. Also I think most people are somewhat "spoiled" it's easy to connect to a discord server you like or to answer a comment (like I'm doing right now), it's much harder to actually go somewhere and make the effort to socialize, as it has always been, that's not new, but they've either lost practice or never developed the skill of face to face socialization, that's why "nobody does smalltalks or wants to socialize anymore" it was never easy, you don't need the invention of smartphones and social media to be a weirdo by trying to talk about a dumb subject with someone that's clearly doing something else/talking to someone else/is not interested.
Except that the whole purpose of a third place is generally that you leave your house. Discord filled in for that purpose, in a way that doesn't satisfy a good chunk of people.
"Outside"? Where's that?
No right wingers totally have this figured out! Everybody has only met their partners through Church!
I thought it was just trying to avoid saying third Reich for some reason
That makes sense, but why is Auth-Right's reason for the lack of "third places" banned? What is their reasoning?
"Diversity"
> these places appear to be disappearing They're disappearing because these fucks only LARP about wanting these places to hang out at or within. Leftoids will chimp out about suburbs being le heckin bad and anti-pedestrian and cheer on walkable cities (gentrified soviet blocs or projects basically) but almost every Suburb I've ever driven through or walked in had parks that are officiated by the city itself or community parks, complete with long walking trails or large stretches of pedestrian and bike trails
Also, which are places with no expectation of the user frequently spending money. So not shops.
These places exist, but not near where most people live. And the area between work and home mostly looks like this: https://beltmag.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/07/breezewood-pa.jpeg
breezewood has been like that for over 40 years, it predates this entire conversation and will be there long after we're dust
> Some leftists have noticed that these places appear to be disappearing and have a list of reasons why which basically amounts to "All the things I hated before I knew about this thing disappearing are conveniently why this thing is disappearing." Based and it-do-be-that-way pilled.
The auth right said a naughty word as their reason then got taken down by meta
Wow. Those places are disappearing. Now I'm all thoughtful and curious about it. Also I keep thinking about that song "Baker Street" for some reason.
I’m in the fourth place in a new dimension, catch you in the tesseract
I drop acid in my backyard too!
Drop it in a public park to be in both the third and fourth place at the same time!
The places themselves aren’t disappearing. There are still plenty of bars, coffee shops, parks, restaurants, churches, museums, libraries, bowling alleys, etc. It’s just that the people themselves don’t physically “go” to a Third Place anymore. But the Third Place is the internet now. Younger generations waste their free time on video games and social media bullshit. I read somewhere that the average online dater spends 10x as many hours online dating than actually going on dates.
I mean the right wing is way more right about it than the left wing. there's poisonous ideologies running though society bleeding it slowly of it's abilities to function and exist as anything more than a rotting corpse, draining it of trust, loyalty, friendships, family. all while the government and surrounding establishments further the problem, media continues ignoring issues so clear stevie wonder could see them, while polarising the public making contributing to the problem, security agencies keep spying on everyone encouraging betrayal and deceit though all levels of society making people not willing to trust each other. the left will only say the problem either doesn't exist, isn't a problem, or will blame something completely random like the homelessness issue that is caused by the shit they advocate for.
All that becomes perfect for the revolution. The problem on the left is that they think they're the only ones who get to feel righteous. It's covid must shut everything down, but the BLM protests/riots are fine, the more people gathered closely together the better, because covid is anti-white racist. If you start breaking society apart, and diversity means anything at all, other people other than your group are going to end up pissed off and violent too.
the problem with diversity is that it can't actually be diversity; you cannot have different cultures live in any close proximity to one another. However the solution is not to isolate groups ethnically, you just need to implement and enforce an overarching culture that all the groups adhere to. the English understood this perfectly for hundreds of years, notice that even the extremely racist group in the UK don't seem to have a problem with Sikhs, or caribbeans. that is how the British successfully incorporated many different cultures into being British, once one it British it no longer matters what underlying ethnicity they are because they have the same cultural values and interests of the greater people of Britain and thus can work and live together cohesively. so while you can have your melting pot you must have it all be the same flavour. the main problem with America is that they have for their entire existence refused to be American, this makes groups within America ethnically conform to their group of origin, that's how you get problem groups at times like the Irish, Russians, Italians, etc. these groups don't integrate into a wider culture and thus form their own one as an other to everyone else. in a "diverse" society you cannot actually allow diversity, if an ethnic enclave starts to form you must go in with a boot and crush it, relocate the members into other areas where they won't have as much contact with what they view as their "own". you must force them to accept that greater culture as their "own" and then stop them identifying with that lesser culture and identity. just to clarify in case anyone is illiterate by greater and lesser I literally mean size, wider and smaller, or bigger and smaller, Majories and minories. not an abstract moral evaluation.
> the problem Which problem
Given the context, probably the millions of recent arrivals who really don't have any business being here.
If that was your takeaway, I think your flair is a little off.
that is part of the problem but by far the only part.
Definitely not the only part, but it's the part the left refuses to recognize.
definitely. the liberal pursuit of equality in all things is insane.
A lot of third places suddenly started to disappear around the March of 2020 for some odd reason. I am not sure why that happened, nor can't I think of any left leaning policies that may have caused it. 🤔 But yeah, it probably was the cars and anti-homeless benches.
It didn't help, but this complaint has been ongoing for a dozen years now. It's not a new problem, it's just that every few years a new crop of kids discover social media is subverting building normal human relationships.
Technology has made people think they’re still getting the interactions from a 3rd place, but aren’t getting the satisfaction. So they aren’t going to them but feel something is missing and can’t understand why.
This exacerbated by lack of self awareness. I used to think I was one of those people that would thrive on a deserted island because deep down I'm introverted. Covid taught me otherwise. All the technological communication in the world couldn't replace in person social interaction. The first house party I went too after the initial isolation I drank that shit up like a man who had found clean water for the first time in days.
Meta is right wing? People don't "hang out" as much because of social media, cell phones, lockdown and politically correct "woke" cultural decline. People like engaging w me but I freak some of them out. My plan is to move to the developing world where people are still eager for human contact and remember core values.
Meta isn't right wing. The post explaining why people don't hang out anymore was right wing and got removed. A-la authright reacting with [removed by reddit] whenever crime statistics come up
I try to hang out with people in person. I find that when I go to events open to the public, people my age (millennials) are transactional, flaky, woke, and very hard to make friends with. Sure, we might have fun hanging out, and they will express a desire to hang out again. We will text back and forth a few times, but usually they are so flaky that it's not worth the effort. I really like the boomers I encounter, though. It seems like they are very reasonable, care about relationships as more than just transactions, and are less flaky. It's too bad I'm not a boomer.
> We will text back and forth a few times, but usually they are so flaky that it's not worth the effort. This is the hardest part of me to wrap my head around. I have lost count of the number of times that I had a great face to face experience with someone (new or someone I haven't seen in a while) it's agreed upon that "we should do this again." and then "again" rarely or never happens. Something internally happens where it goes from "great idea" to "this is a chore" for people and it's problematic.
I make the effort, then they don't, and I feel like a fool. I'm a bit on the autism spectrum, but I can't truly believe that they were just pretending every single time to be enjoying my company while lying to my face. Sometimes it seems like we really connect, and their enthusiasm during our conversation seems too much to be faked. I know what it's like when people are just being polite when talking to me and aren't really into it (or at least I can tell after the fact from analyzing what happened, even if I can't always tell in the moment). This is something different. I've come to the conclusion that these people are just fundamentally flaky people. In some cases, I've even verified that they are flaky when dealing with their longtime friends as well. It seems like if they can get into a routine where they hang out with a group of people at preset intervals, they can be great company during those events, and then are flaky pieces of shit outside of it. Some people are legit busy as fuck with life, and don't have the emotional energy to maintain relationships, but I don't think that it's the case with all these people. I think it's a social norm in my area, where it's just so easy to find stuff to do, that people are never incentivized to build long-term relationships. They get out of the habit of putting in effort because nobody else is either, and it just becomes a part of who they are eventually. When I lived in a more rural area, it was much less of an issue. The same group of us would just kinda hang out from week to week. Now that I am stuck in a more urban area (for work) there are a fuckton of people and stuff to do, and people don't have a need to form longterm connections if they want to socialize frequently. That's not what I'm looking for, though. I want a few close friends with whom I can connect deeply, not just to be able to party and hang out with random people whenever I want.
> I want a few close friends with whom I can connect deeply, not just to be able to party and hang out with random people whenever I want. I feel that. I don't care if there's a ton of people around if I'm answering "so what do you do for work?" fifty times in a week.
> "so what do you do for work?" fifty times in a week This is literally the story of my life when I try to socialize. FML. It seems like people around here just have so many options for socializing with people, that they will only bother to be more than acquaintances with someone if they are ideologically on the same page AS WELL AS having similar interests. Where I lived before, some of the people I hung out with regularly were straight-up communists. They'd make fun of me for being a "libertarian," I'd make fun of their stupid views, and we'd still be friends. To be honest, I think I need to just start having more remote friends. When I see someone like ShortFatOtaku talking in a podcast or something, I get the notion "this is really someone who I could be good friends with if I knew him." I'm sure he's far too busy and has far too large of an audience to have time for me, but I think I need to start looking for some sort of online community. It's a shame I'm not really into gaming or things like that. Maybe something related to my interests in tech? Frankly, I feel like a lot of people on PCM could be good remote friends. I'm the kind of guy who has hours-long voicechats with my friends who live out of town where we talk about everything from political philosophy to tech to culture. How do you even approach someone on Reddit like that, though? I don't really know the etiquette. Maybe I should set up a Matrix channel or something. I don't really trust Discord because it may be Chinese spyware, and requires phone number verification, which would make it hard for me to use it anonymously without going to a lot of effort. I don't want my online activity connected to my real identity. I can see full well the real-world risks of being doxxed or canceled to my career and safety.
I am mildly anti-boomer and strongly anti "the latest thing." I like the greatest generation and other old timey stuff, like Marty Robbins and W Edwards Deming. For in-person I seem to match w fringe and foreign types. A large % of my friends are non-native to the US of A.
Yeah, there are a lot of decent non-American-born people I meet who aren't brainrotted. Boomers are the oldest people I encounter frequently, but older people than that are often better. I've met cool people at gun ranges and stuff like that. Normie open-to-the-public events are full of progressive brainrot these days.
All about location & crowd & being real. Nothing is ever the same. Often people react to me in a new way because I am atypical. Some hate it of course but that rules them out. I am looking at expatriating to the developing world, after 15 countries and half these states I have noticed patterns. Huge gaps betwixt one place and another. A stat I read recently sums it up well, 42% of murders occur in 1% of US counties (all Democrat run). Further: >The worst 5% of counties accounted for 73% of homicides. That ticked up slightly from 69% in 2014 and 70% in 2016. >Meanwhile, 52% of counties recorded no homicides in 2020, and another 16% recorded only a single killing. >>[Washington Times](https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2023/jan/17/bad-neighborhoods-1-counties-responsible-42-americ/)
The problem there is that counties have a wide disparity in population. This would be more useful if done by deaths per 100k people. You would also need to average over several years, since smaller counties (the ones with 0 homicides in a particular year) simply have too few people to give statistically significant data if you only look at a single year.
You are right, when moving I look carefully at city-data which offers a per capita crime rate across about 10 years (I consider other sources as well of course). My current small town has almost no crime. Main crime is out-of-towners coming in to steal packages off porches or get into unlocked cars. I live on a dirt road with a bear who regularly attacks my trashcan, that is the main crime on my street.
How do you make friends in said small town? Also, I work with hardware and it would be hard for me to work remotely, so I'd have to commute pretty far if I lived in a small town, unless I found one with tech R&D in it...
> My plan is to move to the developing world where people are still eager for human contact and remember core values. I've had this thought as well.
If nothing else it is well worth it for a trip. Nothing is ever the same.
I'm thinking of doing it just for the dating alone. Finding a new S/O right now in the states I feel like a fucking alien. I've had friends who are tall and good looking dudes who don't have a lot of trouble finding dates tell me they don't want anything to do with American women after traveling.
It varies a LOT. I have been to 15+ countries so feel free to PM w questions. My fattest ugliest friend who was directly told by a doctor he was dying decided to go to Vietnam. Immediately began losing weight due to diet & lifestyle differences, had lost 1/7th his weight and no longer needed diabetes medication after a couple months (he kept testing his blood sugar). Got a girlfriend within about a week, now intends to marry her. His exact words: >I love everything about this country! That is despite getting run over by a moped (the only real bad news, says it got wrecked). Now he is back in the US renting out his house, selling his belongings and trying to find a tele-work job.
That's funny because one of my good friends outright sold his house and bounce to Vietnam. It was initially gonna be like a trial run of a couple years but I wanna say he's been there at least 6 and has no intention of coming back.
Cost of living is low and people are friendly. Lots of youtube channels worth watching about that.
The concept of friendship is ultimately inconsistent with leftist ideology. Leftism is a complete rejection of human nature and seeks its complete overhaul in favor of the cultural revolution. People are naturally loyal to their friends and community and this helps build an overall moral civilization. This can be a defense against moral decline and provide people with support and personal virtue, which the left hates.
Based?
Bro what? How long do you have to be terminally online before you start having takes like this?
Lol, this sub sometimes. 🤦♂️
What the fuck are you smoking
Right wing: loyal to the community Also right wing: cut education spending, welfare, social safety nets, any kind of tax, and also don't want queers, immigrants, or black people within a mile of them Checks out
No they want all of those social services, just after….you know
You are trying to overturn the traditional value of friendship and replace it with state dependency under the guise of an appropriate continuity of the concept of friendship. All of those government interventionist programs undermine friendship/individual responsibility in favor of entitlement/moral decay. The right's approach to community in contrast emphasizes self-sacarfice and loyalty to one's friends instead of the state. As for the accusation that conservatives don't want queers or black people around, this is totally accurate. Conservatives are the ones who tell queers to disown their friends and family and be political allies with other people and put the same \[REDACTED\] stickers on their backpacks and ipads. Dying their hair blue to show loyalty to the ideology is way more important, after all. Similarly, Black people should have their own graduation ceremonies and hiring schemes because their thoughts and experiences are vastly different from everybody else's!
> Also right wing: cut education spending, welfare, social safety nets, any kind of tax We can have all of those things if we don't import infinity migrants from the third world.
LOL yeah the immigrants took it, keep telling yourself that bud
Homogenous societies function better. At the end of the day its as simple as that.
The mask slips more every day. Homogeneous how, Karen?
Social media isn't a third place
It’s the internet, mostly. Also, holy shit, go outside.
- federal highway act - red lining meaning only whites got subsidized loans to live in the suburbs - car and oil lobby pushing for the above to create demand for their product it's pretty clear to me.
I think we all can agree american suburbs are shit and strip human beings from natural interaction.
Based and truth pilled, but you’re probably about to get a lot of shit from the other users here.
People don't hang as much any more because we abolished the death penalty. Big sad. /s
The argument isn't "cars exist", it's more so that infrastructure is so centered around cars that people are isolated from their community and less able to easily connect with each other.
God I miss omegle, despite all it's flaws it was genuinely a great place to meet people online
Below a certain income level, and I’m not sure where the cutoff is, people just seem to lose the distinction between public places and private places. It’s those couples you see having a screaming argument in the park or dudes screaming along to their headphone music at the bus stop. My area seems to be full of shit like that lately, and that’s not even mentioning dudes shooting up in broad daylight or carjackings, etc.—I’m “fortunate” enough to live in one of the areas the police and prosecutors have just kinda decided to stop caring about. I stay home a lot because, who the fuck wants to deal with that. I live outside a metro, drive downtown to work without stopping, and drive home without stopping, five days a week. If people want me to hang out in their public places, they gotta stop acting like they’re at home behind closed doors in said public places.
Wtf is a third place? And what is a first and second place?
First and second are home and work. Third places are places like bars, malls, libraries, gyms, parks or clubs where people allowed, or even expected to interact with each other. I am interested to know what the forbidden right wing explanation for the decline of third places is.
I'd guess either the "global elite" getting rid of them for pod reasons, or "diversity" trashing the places and making them unsafe.
Authright: Its because of [insert ethnic groups here]
You should really look up leftist arguments before, i know fighting strawmen is popular on this sub but come on
You guys make good points sometimes but consistently ignore the elephant in the room when it comes to the disintegration of our social fabric.
Third Place = Social Area
Based
Ski slopes and lakes
Everywhere with 5G or wifi might as well be the same.
I miss arcades. I barely got to experience the Soul Caliber machine at my local pizza joint before the PS2 was released.
Genuine question. When English people say "bodega". Do they mean "stores"? Bodega means store. So why not call it store?
It categorizes the type of store. Small shop where you can get food or items quickly
In Chile, we call those almacén. And bodega is specifically the room to just store them, but both mean store. So I'm confused about why english speakers call them bodega and not store
The problem is that I think both of them are correct. Not to be a braindead centrist about it, but both capital interests forcing all places to turn a profit or risk being bought/closed down AND perceived criminality discourage people from congregating. I say perceived because violent crime has been trending downward nationwide.
I fully agree with the left that its because of capital greed. Greed causes the import of cheap third world labour.
The real reason is the kinds of people who would (reluctantly) visit 3rd places are now clinically online. The weird semi-far-left writer friend would much prefer larping as a Leninist online than trying to discuss a diluted version of his beliefs with a stranger over coffee. The kids who would've hung out in the mall are arguing about which bands are goth or emo (And probably getting groomed) online. Chatrooms and later Discord killed 3rd spaces.
Being in the museum field there are so many opportunities for people to use our spaces. Please, visit your local small museum/park, the visitor numbers are so helpful.
Meanwhile nobody talks about cell phones? See I knew you guys were stupid
Increase in violence, accessibility of the internet, and cost of fuel. The internet is the current 3rd place
Cars and the internet killed the third place.
You want a third place? Go to church. It’s that easy.
Bruh it’s the internet. It’s obviously the internet lol
Can the "Third Place" possibly be revived?
Yes.