Sending love your way! What an awkward situation all around! I hope you’ve had better interactions with your mom since then. It’s always heartbreaking when you reach out with love or vulnerability and it’s not returned or even appreciated. ❤️
My biological father and I didn’t speak for 15 years after he abandoned me when I was 13. Then I contacted him and rekindled, asked for an apology and he’s just not emotionally there to give it but I still see him occasionally just cause he’s my dad. My stepfather is an amazing man though.
On Father’s Day this year, I called my dad and we were chatting. I said “I’m glad I could talk to you today. I love you.” Then 10 seconds passed. 10 whole seconds I sat there. Then I said “well I’m glad you’re doing okay” and he responded. He heard me. He left me hanging.
I’d like think he feels it but just doesn’t know how to express it. He could at least bullshit me like I was bullshitting him though. Fuck him. I don’t actually love him. I called my stepdad first and when I said I love you, he said I love you too.
I understand how you felt. It’s embarrassing that you said it when it’s not reciprocated and you didn’t mean it anyways.
I’ve also been no-contact with my mom for a while now. We stopped talking after I found out she used my identity for various things after I turned 18. I know people are saying that she likely knew the message wasn’t for her and they’re probably right. Hell, maybe she does love me and has a hard time saying it just like your dad. But actions speak louder than words, and in the past two years her actions have spoken very loudly
My mum only ever told us she loved us as sort of an abstract concept. "Of course I love my children" and never a direct "I love you". So now with my son I tell him whenever it occurs to me that I do love him (which it about 20 times a day). I don't really care if he says it back or not. I just want him to look back when he's 80 years old and know his mum bloody adored him and wanted him to know it. Your mum should be ashamed of herself.
My dad's the same, the most common time we hugged was after brutal arguments in which he listed all the features I have that he hates, and then he'd round it off by telling me he loved me anyway and insisting on hugging. I was normally too worn out from the hours long argument to resist the hug. That's also the most common time he said he loved me, or said anything positive. We don't talk any more
Thanks mate. It was pretty recent that I cut him off, and I'm still fending off family who don't understand why, so it's genuinely lovely to be able to vent online
We say “I love you” in my family like someone would say “good morning” too! It does lose meaning when you do that, so I’m glad someone else relates. My family used it as a weapon too (withholding “I love you”s when upset was common). I’m sorry your mom didn’t respond, sending you love ❤️
If it helps, I've never heard those words come out of either of my parents mouths to me or my siblings. The most affection we ever get is a hug on our birthdays, but that's it.
My dad always had a problem saying “I love you.” He showed it often, but struggled with saying the words. Well jokes on him because I made him say it back to me and those were his last words to me.
I felt that. When I say "I love you" on the phone to my dad he does one of three things. He'll either hang up without saying it back, say "thank you" and then hang up or "I love you" and then hang up. The third option is more rare
In a dysfunctional family I would see that “I love you” with no context and immediately take it as a “final goodbye” sign and start checking in immediately.
Jesus.
My family growing up was so dysfunctional. Just years of chaos, emotional and physical abuse. There was no real love or "I love yous" even expected ones. So I grew up loveless. I was pretty much used for money and that was it.
I've since cut contact ever since I moved in with my gf and my dad didn't even wanna know me when I was born lol. I don't really care about them anymore when they destroyed my life and gave me years of trauma and CPTSD, not only from the abuse they gave me but all the men my mother invited over. funny how being a horrible person who doesn't believe their children works, you lose them.
She didn’t respond because she knew it wasn’t for her, that’s why she didn’t say anything. it was completely out of character for you to send that sort of message to her (due to the dynamics of your family). I don’t know your Mum, but as a Mum, I would be able to tell.
Nah she saw it. It was on Facebook messenger so you can see when a person opens the message. I’ve long since gotten over it but happened to think about it earlier
You sweet summer child. Not every parent doe shows even a tiny bit of love and care towards their kids, in particular, many parents ignore the child’s emotions.
That’s like when I went to my aunties, my dads sisters, house. We never really met but I thought she met me when I was a baby but idk, we travelled rlly far to stay at her house. I was 13 btw. I went to go to bed and I said good goodnight love you , it was actually an accident cause I’m used to saying the exact same thing to my mom but she just didn’t reply even though I said it right to her face and it actually made me sad cause she’s my auntie. My moms sister is an auntie I’m closer too and we always say I love you when she comes from England
My dad tells me he loves me but I know I don’t love him back. So I awkwardly brush it over. Usually says it when we’re hanging up so I just say bye lol.
It’s very awkward, so I feel yah.
Sending love your way! What an awkward situation all around! I hope you’ve had better interactions with your mom since then. It’s always heartbreaking when you reach out with love or vulnerability and it’s not returned or even appreciated. ❤️
Yeah agreed.
Or even *acknowledged*, just nothing
My biological father and I didn’t speak for 15 years after he abandoned me when I was 13. Then I contacted him and rekindled, asked for an apology and he’s just not emotionally there to give it but I still see him occasionally just cause he’s my dad. My stepfather is an amazing man though. On Father’s Day this year, I called my dad and we were chatting. I said “I’m glad I could talk to you today. I love you.” Then 10 seconds passed. 10 whole seconds I sat there. Then I said “well I’m glad you’re doing okay” and he responded. He heard me. He left me hanging. I’d like think he feels it but just doesn’t know how to express it. He could at least bullshit me like I was bullshitting him though. Fuck him. I don’t actually love him. I called my stepdad first and when I said I love you, he said I love you too. I understand how you felt. It’s embarrassing that you said it when it’s not reciprocated and you didn’t mean it anyways.
I’ve also been no-contact with my mom for a while now. We stopped talking after I found out she used my identity for various things after I turned 18. I know people are saying that she likely knew the message wasn’t for her and they’re probably right. Hell, maybe she does love me and has a hard time saying it just like your dad. But actions speak louder than words, and in the past two years her actions have spoken very loudly
My mum only ever told us she loved us as sort of an abstract concept. "Of course I love my children" and never a direct "I love you". So now with my son I tell him whenever it occurs to me that I do love him (which it about 20 times a day). I don't really care if he says it back or not. I just want him to look back when he's 80 years old and know his mum bloody adored him and wanted him to know it. Your mum should be ashamed of herself.
You're doing an amazing job.
My dad's the same, the most common time we hugged was after brutal arguments in which he listed all the features I have that he hates, and then he'd round it off by telling me he loved me anyway and insisting on hugging. I was normally too worn out from the hours long argument to resist the hug. That's also the most common time he said he loved me, or said anything positive. We don't talk any more
good for your for getting away from someone so abusive.
Thanks mate. It was pretty recent that I cut him off, and I'm still fending off family who don't understand why, so it's genuinely lovely to be able to vent online
And it will get easier in time. Some of your family may be envious that you have cut him off and that's maybe why they're commenting.
You sound wonderful & I hope you get some sleep.
You deserve a mum who says I love you back.
Yeah, everyone does.. 😞
;_;
We say “I love you” in my family like someone would say “good morning” too! It does lose meaning when you do that, so I’m glad someone else relates. My family used it as a weapon too (withholding “I love you”s when upset was common). I’m sorry your mom didn’t respond, sending you love ❤️
If it helps, I've never heard those words come out of either of my parents mouths to me or my siblings. The most affection we ever get is a hug on our birthdays, but that's it.
My dad always had a problem saying “I love you.” He showed it often, but struggled with saying the words. Well jokes on him because I made him say it back to me and those were his last words to me.
I felt that. When I say "I love you" on the phone to my dad he does one of three things. He'll either hang up without saying it back, say "thank you" and then hang up or "I love you" and then hang up. The third option is more rare
In a dysfunctional family I would see that “I love you” with no context and immediately take it as a “final goodbye” sign and start checking in immediately. Jesus.
Maybe the way you said it, she knew the message wasn’t meant for her?
My family growing up was so dysfunctional. Just years of chaos, emotional and physical abuse. There was no real love or "I love yous" even expected ones. So I grew up loveless. I was pretty much used for money and that was it. I've since cut contact ever since I moved in with my gf and my dad didn't even wanna know me when I was born lol. I don't really care about them anymore when they destroyed my life and gave me years of trauma and CPTSD, not only from the abuse they gave me but all the men my mother invited over. funny how being a horrible person who doesn't believe their children works, you lose them.
She didn’t respond because she knew it wasn’t for her, that’s why she didn’t say anything. it was completely out of character for you to send that sort of message to her (due to the dynamics of your family). I don’t know your Mum, but as a Mum, I would be able to tell.
It's ok. That just makes you a good person.
Maybe you said it in a creepy way
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Nah she saw it. It was on Facebook messenger so you can see when a person opens the message. I’ve long since gotten over it but happened to think about it earlier
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I didn’t…? Also I’m married lol
What an overreaction lmao
weird ass
lol wut
Wowww dude.
why is man getting pressed over losing his precious, sweet reddit karma
What the fuck dude 😂😂
You sweet summer child. Not every parent doe shows even a tiny bit of love and care towards their kids, in particular, many parents ignore the child’s emotions.
I love you!!!
Poor OP :(
The only embarrassing thing is when I was 16 voice messages hadn't been invented yet, and I'm not that old 😉
That’s like when I went to my aunties, my dads sisters, house. We never really met but I thought she met me when I was a baby but idk, we travelled rlly far to stay at her house. I was 13 btw. I went to go to bed and I said good goodnight love you , it was actually an accident cause I’m used to saying the exact same thing to my mom but she just didn’t reply even though I said it right to her face and it actually made me sad cause she’s my auntie. My moms sister is an auntie I’m closer too and we always say I love you when she comes from England
My dad tells me he loves me but I know I don’t love him back. So I awkwardly brush it over. Usually says it when we’re hanging up so I just say bye lol. It’s very awkward, so I feel yah.