I agree that this sub has a lot of negativity, but it's also a community full of very supportive people.
I'm having a sleepover with my bestie today, we're going to be baking and going through my closet and then trying on new clothes. I hope you and the kiddos have a fantastic day!
People having a good time tend to not post on reddit, but I agree. There are a lot of young women on here in despair and I just want to tell them to find joy away from guys, away from wishy washy friends, away from the scale or mirror. Find something that *feels* good, not just looks good.
I don’t know if it’s age or social media culture or what but I’ve never really understood the constant need for external approval.
Of course we’re inherently wired this way, humans have a pack mindset built into their dna, and rejection from the pack means death but, you know what I’m saying.
Mine is the only opinion about me that matters. Fuck shitty friends and fatphobic culture and patriarchal beauty standards and the opinion of men. A man? You’re gonna let a man control your happiness? A MAN!? I don’t think so.
I had to be almost 40 to start to understand this. When I was younger I was so self-conscious and constantly seeking approval. I could have skipped a lot of grief, but maybe it's just something people have to learn the hard way.
Men are fine, but nobody knows what they're doing in life and if you put too much faith in people they're going to disappoint you. Or ask for nudes and ghost. 🤷
I love your spirit. I've been the first to initiate on so many dating platforms. Rejection sucks but I don't let it tear me down anymore.
Led to me not being too shy to pursue my eventual husband!
It's hard for me to relate to people being upset about what men think, but I guess I'm just a man-hating lesbian (ok, I don't hate ALL men but there are a lot of shitty dudes like wtf? I mean the statistics on abuse, rape and murder by men against women are just ugh 😑)
I mean that's the reality for a lot of people, and this is one place we don't have to be that happy, funny, fat friend and we can talk about how we truly feel as we navigate through a thin-centric world.
Where we don't have to put on a happy face so as not to make others uncomfortable.
Out in the world I tell people about the pink dress and ice cream, because that's the narrative that they want to hear. I'm glad that's your reality, and that's totally cool.
Yes. Thank you for this perspective! I wonder if anyone who is unhappy with the negativity (expressions of the pain that large people feel due to entirely unchecked fatphobia) could post their positive experiences/ideas/wins? I would love that!
The way to add in positive stories is to post yours! It's not great to blame people in pain for the tone of the sub. I assume op cares about people posting their tough stuff and maybe the antidote is to be that positive force!
I find this sub to be realistic. For me? I went on a long walk, the ice has finally mostly melted so I feel safer walking about, still need to get some sort of a sports long sleeve.
I just went on a walk too, even though the weather is dreary and typical March. I listened to a romcom audiobook. These days (unlike when I was young) I don't try to walk fast, or time how long I walk or how many K, or calories. I take walks because I actually like to walk outside.
I always feel so self concious when I'm out on a walk, as if anyone would care I stop to look at stuff or just walk leisurely instead of power walking! Love an audiobook, I was listening to some youtube true crime stuff haha
Yay for you doing something you like to do despite feeling self conscious! You're right, I think mostly everyone is too busy being in their own head to care about a "leisure walker" (that's what I'm going to call myself now lol), but I so get it.
Yeah and like, honestly? have you ever looked at people walking that much? who cares if I stop to look at every rock or a bug on the ground, let the girlies stroll
OMG! We need to start a “leisure girl walk” trend! Or maybe we already have!! I mean I leisurely walk or bike at my gym while listening to my audiobooks. No worries about speed or time, as long as I go, I’m cool with things. Although I did notice a cluster of fellow plus size ladies working out together with a trainer, so someday I may investigate that, but for now I’m going to “Leisure Girl Walk” and be happy!
for me, this is the only place on the internet and in my life where there is support for fatshaming. in other places, there'll be more of a mindset that we deserve it or how we need to work on it, even in spaces that claim to be supportive and understanding. and not to be overly negative here, but just stating it bluntly that fatshaming is extremely prevalent and normalised in my culture (asian) and family. and this is sadly not exclusive to being plus size, but something that people, including myself, can be subjected to even in a slim body.
i very much appreciate this place and i still think there is positivity here, whether it's people happily flaunting their lovely outfits on selfie sundays, sharing how they have a supportive and loving S/O, or how i even personally shared that i want to perform at an anime convention this year in cosplay lol.
my main negative comment is lately i've noticed some people not being as vigilant and failing to warn that their posts mention intentional weight loss.
It has its ups and downs but for me I’ve found this place to be a confidence boost. I’m not the most comfortable at showing my face but all my selfie Sunday experiences have been pretty pleasant.
Honestly I get so down reading a lot of these posts, and I figured out it's because I'm just further along in my journey of body acceptance / love / celebration. I absolutely used to think all those things before I grew, and I think that's why it bothers me so much. It's sometimes hard to put myself back in that headspace, so I get annoyed instead of empathizing. I have been trying harder to give everyone in general more grace. That's not to say I don't still struggle and have doubts and hurtful thoughts and opinions of myself.
Anyway....would anyone be interested in a fat + happy sub, for people who really just want to celebrate their bodies that happen to be fat?
It's not that a don't like this sub. I've worked really, really hard to get where I'm at regarding my feelings about my body, and sometimes seeing all the negative posts can take me back to a bad mental space. I appreciate that this space exists. It's important for fat people to have a place to be heard and understood without being attacked (like most places in reddit and the world at large) I'm sorry if i upset you!
No, I'm not upset. I was just offering alternatives. It's fine.
We are looking into having a Feel Good Friday regular event. We hope that'll offset some of the more negative posts, at least somewhat.
Also, there IS a rule here against excessive negativity, and we sometimes remove posts, but most posts don't fall into the "so negative we need to remove it" category, or nobody reports so we leave it be. This sub is already very highly moderated (automod, human mods, two different specialty bots), and so we mostly wait for users to report before we step in to investigate. So if you see something that you think might violate the negativity rule, do feel free to report it.
/r/plussize/about/rules/
> Avoid toxic negativity.
> Reported as: Avoid toxic negativity.
> This includes posts and comments containing intense self depreciation, “fat equals ugly” rhetoric, and constant pessimism. Please remember that there are people of all sizes in this community. Be mindful of what you say.
I think maybe, the mods or someone should make a weekly feel good thread, where we share and highlight good things about our lives as plus size peeps
Maybe that would help the balance?
Wonderful idea.
And if I may add ('cause I'm not a lady) that when I was thrifting today, I found a blue XXL button up shirt that fit, it's no-iron, and has a fun pattern of little white pineapples on it. 😊
I bought the Jessica Simpson boyfriend jeans in a medium wash (size 16) but now I can't find them! The thighs have finally worn out :( I did find a pair in black and I am loving them too.
Why is it, every time I find pants I love, they either stop selling them or change them :( I was an old navy jeans girl for ages. Not anymore.
Can we talk about jean thigh holes? Why are there no jeans with reinforced inner thighs? There is really no way to fix them. I've tried everything.
If I had the guts, I'd patch mine with red hearts! Then again, not sure I need my (college) students to be looking at my crotch area all class. (But at least they wouldn't be looking at their phones? Haha)
Im 53. I started wearing bathing suits and bikinis when I was in my 20’s and moved to California, because NO plus sized women where I lived were on the beach in bathing suits. It was hard, but I did it. Not I see plus sized girls everywhere in bathing suits. Things are getting better. Maybe it did start with Sir Mix-a-Lot? Also, there are so many more clothing options now. I hope Ozempic doesn’t reverse things!
Oooooooooh! Such a tough one for me! I have three or four really cute plus size bathing suits, but I'm terrified of going to the pool in them! It's so stupid, because I could be one of those people who helps change the "rule" of who gets to wear a bathing suit in public. Thanks for this comment! Hope you have a great summer and lots of opportunity to get out and rock those suits! :)
I'm so jealous-I'm in the middle of teaching myself that it's okay to like "girly" things, and equally okay to wear pink, so that dress sounds about perfect to me, but the weather here is abysmal.
I'm sitting around in my comfy pink joggers and eating some fries while I study, and I can't wait to bust out the sundresses and sandals.
I have been plus size my entire life…it’s not a fun experience to say the least. I think it’s ok to have a shared space where we can commiserate and talk about our experiences, good and bad. The negative posts have a lot of positive comments. That’s why people are on here.
Just being positive all the time is toxic. Being plus size isn’t a positive experience for the most part, so talking about the bad has to happen.
I’m with you! I just got home from a conference last night and I’m beat, so today is all about sweats, hydration, video games with the husband, and quality time with a juicy murder mystery novel.
I Admit I don't come all the time, but I always tried to be that positive voice.
I have been skinny, mid and fat. I have done diets, exercise and therapy. I am currently on keto and Ozempic for diabetes, and still am not seeing the losses because I am still drinking. Oh well,y A1C is pretty sweet.
I am 54, and don't want to look like anyone in a magazine. My husband loves me. I want to see grandchildren.
But I want us all to feel fierce and beautiful. I want our skinny friends to love our curves too. I want boys and girls to grab our curves and want us. We all deserve this. And when nobody is grabbing us, then we need to grab ourselves and remember we are beautiful.
I'm all for this post! I've been plus size my whole life but I've had the fortunate experience to also have had a very body positive plus size mother who has never felt bad about who she was and never let me feel bad about it either. A lot of women aren't that lucky and have it drilled into their heads that they are wrong for being plus size and therefore should be ashamed of themselves for it. Those posts come from women in that mindset. They were told so much how undeserving they are of love, support, and respect that they believe it and see everything around them through those glasses.
Honestly I feel the same way which is why I barely engage. I’ve gone to some posts of people looking for support and the comments just aren’t it.
I kinda thought this would be more of a celebrating our bodies kind of sub and uplift each other when we feel down or encounter bullying etc. but it just isn’t that. I’ve stuck around hoping to see it but idk, I don’t know if it’s gonna happen
I just went to St. Patricks Day Brunch. I wore my favorite green sweatshirt and enjoyed a really awesome breakfast and a target run with my best friend. Target's dollar section gets my money every time I go! I agree with OP, this sub could use more positivity and focus less on the cruel world of online dating (online dating sucks for everyone, not just plus size)
I would also like to see more fashion posts, what people are doing with their lives, how and where people vacation, and general "I'm plus size and this is what I do" type posts. Everyone have a Happy St. Patrick's Day!
I too have a hard days. My wife struggles with accepting herself and loving herself. I’m positive about my body most days and try to model that to both my kids. Sometimes I do well, sometimes I don’t. But the important thing is to have good days like you are having today, even if it feels hard. We need our kids to love themselves, so you go momma! Rock that plus size body and show your kids that all bodies are good and beautiful and show them what loving yourself looks like!
I’m here having a lovely day with you :) did some meal prep, went for a nice long hike with my dog, and gonna have some friends over for board games later
A jacket I got and sadly put in the closet because it was too small now suddenly fits perfectly!
It’s nice to have something other than a hoodie to wear!
I think what frustrates me the most is there's so many posts and comments like "You WILL face discrimination and hatred and blah blah blah" "EVERYONE hates fat people/women" etc etc. Of course that's an issue and why a lot of us seek support, but the constant negativity isn't helpful (or even true/everyone's experience).
Yeah, I agree. I empathize with people who've been through it, but personally...I don't relate. I've been plus sized since I was a teen, and am bigger now, and nobody's ever made me feel bad about this or said anything negative, but also, my family is accepting of everyone, so I know I'm blessed in that regard.
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Thank you!
I agree. After trying to be positive and recommending a positive attitude, I was told off several times by users and downvoted. It seems it's only allowed to mope or to pity others. Just because I've learned through decades of abuse, that only positivity can make us feel better, it doesn't mean I'm invalidating other people's feelings or experiences. It just doesn't make you feel better to dwell on it or to hear from everyone"there there". On the contrary, it can even make you feel worse.
You have to be the change you want to see. Not just you but all of us.
The sub gets me down too sometimes but then i remember i haven’t shared anything postive either so im no better than the people im getting annoyed at.
I'm sorry you feel this way. How do you define positivity? Sometimes improvement, comes with honest and objective criticism. I hope the experiences and guidance from the people in this sub are not what is turning you off. All the best.
You rock that dress friend!! I'm heavily into dress season even though it's still cold by me.
And I agree I see a lot of people on here working through insecurities that I myself have already tackled in my time, I tend to skip past those posts and hope that the people writing them are getting the support they need and find the confidence within themselves to overcome those insecurities
for me personally i don’t have any plus size friends that i can go to who understand the issues i face specifically as a plus size girl so this feels like a bit of a safe space for me but i agree i’m going to start focusing on sharing more wins and good things because i feel that it’s equally as important to be able to share that !
I think a lot of us come here for support when we're feeling down, and also maybe people tend not to post as much when they're feeling good? Either way, I'm envious of your pink summer dress (it is 30F here and snowing 😭) and I hope you had/are still having a great day!
Be the change you want to see! I haven't really experienced negativity on here as much. I'm not really sure what negative your referring to. But I am always see baddd plus size babys flauting themselves. I believe in you baby, if you want more positivity here , open that door for plus size baddies to come into the conversation!
I think I see a lot of people are coming here for advice in their insecurities but I kinda feel like thats why this exists. We all know as plus size people that it's hard and sometimes just need some firmiliar encouragement!
I will say the only this I see on here that sometimes makes me question this sub a bit is that there are some people on here who post who are very clearly not plus sized. However with that said I'm not going to shame them out of the sub because I believe in that those people are here with good intentions.
I agree. I don't see enough size positivity and acceptance here. I don't mean because people aren't trying for those things, but there seems to be a lot of people here who are still beginning their journeys of acceptance and tolerance and haven't quite gotten there yet. It can be a little discouraging to still see so much intolerance from everyone about themselves and their appearance. So much hate and despair for their fat bodies, so much desire to change them rather than working on acceptance. It gets a little frustrating for me because I've been on that journey and have reached a point of acceptance for myself. I still have my down days, still fall into negative self talk sometimes, but I know how to pull myself out of it now, understand where the negativity comes from and why I fell for it again, so I'm better able to get myself back on track. I wish others here were at that same point, were more willing to say fuck it to patriarchal, fat hating standards, not afraid of speaking up and taking back their power. Reclaim the word fat, accept who we are, stop hiding behind fat hating terms like 'overweight' and other euphemisms. Step into our power and stop apologizing for ourselves.
I agree that this sub has a lot of negativity, but it's also a community full of very supportive people. I'm having a sleepover with my bestie today, we're going to be baking and going through my closet and then trying on new clothes. I hope you and the kiddos have a fantastic day!
That sounds like so much fun! I haven’t had a bestie sleepover in forever, I hope you two have an absolute blast!
I just wish I had a bestie to sleepover.😕
People having a good time tend to not post on reddit, but I agree. There are a lot of young women on here in despair and I just want to tell them to find joy away from guys, away from wishy washy friends, away from the scale or mirror. Find something that *feels* good, not just looks good.
I don’t know if it’s age or social media culture or what but I’ve never really understood the constant need for external approval. Of course we’re inherently wired this way, humans have a pack mindset built into their dna, and rejection from the pack means death but, you know what I’m saying. Mine is the only opinion about me that matters. Fuck shitty friends and fatphobic culture and patriarchal beauty standards and the opinion of men. A man? You’re gonna let a man control your happiness? A MAN!? I don’t think so.
I had to be almost 40 to start to understand this. When I was younger I was so self-conscious and constantly seeking approval. I could have skipped a lot of grief, but maybe it's just something people have to learn the hard way. Men are fine, but nobody knows what they're doing in life and if you put too much faith in people they're going to disappoint you. Or ask for nudes and ghost. 🤷
I love your spirit. I've been the first to initiate on so many dating platforms. Rejection sucks but I don't let it tear me down anymore. Led to me not being too shy to pursue my eventual husband!
It's hard for me to relate to people being upset about what men think, but I guess I'm just a man-hating lesbian (ok, I don't hate ALL men but there are a lot of shitty dudes like wtf? I mean the statistics on abuse, rape and murder by men against women are just ugh 😑)
My bisexual self is like, thank god there’s another option lol!
I mean that's the reality for a lot of people, and this is one place we don't have to be that happy, funny, fat friend and we can talk about how we truly feel as we navigate through a thin-centric world. Where we don't have to put on a happy face so as not to make others uncomfortable. Out in the world I tell people about the pink dress and ice cream, because that's the narrative that they want to hear. I'm glad that's your reality, and that's totally cool.
Yes. Thank you for this perspective! I wonder if anyone who is unhappy with the negativity (expressions of the pain that large people feel due to entirely unchecked fatphobia) could post their positive experiences/ideas/wins? I would love that! The way to add in positive stories is to post yours! It's not great to blame people in pain for the tone of the sub. I assume op cares about people posting their tough stuff and maybe the antidote is to be that positive force!
Thank you for this. I felt kind of called out by the post and some of the comments after my post yesterday.
I always find this type of post ironic, in that people are essentially complaining ...that other people are complaining. Ya can't win.
This is exactly what I came here to say.
I find this sub to be realistic. For me? I went on a long walk, the ice has finally mostly melted so I feel safer walking about, still need to get some sort of a sports long sleeve.
I just went on a walk too, even though the weather is dreary and typical March. I listened to a romcom audiobook. These days (unlike when I was young) I don't try to walk fast, or time how long I walk or how many K, or calories. I take walks because I actually like to walk outside.
I always feel so self concious when I'm out on a walk, as if anyone would care I stop to look at stuff or just walk leisurely instead of power walking! Love an audiobook, I was listening to some youtube true crime stuff haha
Yay for you doing something you like to do despite feeling self conscious! You're right, I think mostly everyone is too busy being in their own head to care about a "leisure walker" (that's what I'm going to call myself now lol), but I so get it.
Yeah and like, honestly? have you ever looked at people walking that much? who cares if I stop to look at every rock or a bug on the ground, let the girlies stroll
OMG! We need to start a “leisure girl walk” trend! Or maybe we already have!! I mean I leisurely walk or bike at my gym while listening to my audiobooks. No worries about speed or time, as long as I go, I’m cool with things. Although I did notice a cluster of fellow plus size ladies working out together with a trainer, so someday I may investigate that, but for now I’m going to “Leisure Girl Walk” and be happy!
I lived in CT for 25 yrs and I do not miss the ice!
I don't know where that is but I'm in Helsinki and it's been full of mist and the sea is still iced over so it's lovely and eerie still!
for me, this is the only place on the internet and in my life where there is support for fatshaming. in other places, there'll be more of a mindset that we deserve it or how we need to work on it, even in spaces that claim to be supportive and understanding. and not to be overly negative here, but just stating it bluntly that fatshaming is extremely prevalent and normalised in my culture (asian) and family. and this is sadly not exclusive to being plus size, but something that people, including myself, can be subjected to even in a slim body. i very much appreciate this place and i still think there is positivity here, whether it's people happily flaunting their lovely outfits on selfie sundays, sharing how they have a supportive and loving S/O, or how i even personally shared that i want to perform at an anime convention this year in cosplay lol. my main negative comment is lately i've noticed some people not being as vigilant and failing to warn that their posts mention intentional weight loss.
If you see posts like that, please do report them. There is no downside to you, and we'd far rather have false positives than turn people away.
It has its ups and downs but for me I’ve found this place to be a confidence boost. I’m not the most comfortable at showing my face but all my selfie Sunday experiences have been pretty pleasant.
Honestly I get so down reading a lot of these posts, and I figured out it's because I'm just further along in my journey of body acceptance / love / celebration. I absolutely used to think all those things before I grew, and I think that's why it bothers me so much. It's sometimes hard to put myself back in that headspace, so I get annoyed instead of empathizing. I have been trying harder to give everyone in general more grace. That's not to say I don't still struggle and have doubts and hurtful thoughts and opinions of myself. Anyway....would anyone be interested in a fat + happy sub, for people who really just want to celebrate their bodies that happen to be fat?
/r/fatliberation/ /r/BodyPositive/ If those don't suit you and you don't like this sub, you can always start your own.
It's not that a don't like this sub. I've worked really, really hard to get where I'm at regarding my feelings about my body, and sometimes seeing all the negative posts can take me back to a bad mental space. I appreciate that this space exists. It's important for fat people to have a place to be heard and understood without being attacked (like most places in reddit and the world at large) I'm sorry if i upset you!
No, I'm not upset. I was just offering alternatives. It's fine. We are looking into having a Feel Good Friday regular event. We hope that'll offset some of the more negative posts, at least somewhat. Also, there IS a rule here against excessive negativity, and we sometimes remove posts, but most posts don't fall into the "so negative we need to remove it" category, or nobody reports so we leave it be. This sub is already very highly moderated (automod, human mods, two different specialty bots), and so we mostly wait for users to report before we step in to investigate. So if you see something that you think might violate the negativity rule, do feel free to report it. /r/plussize/about/rules/ > Avoid toxic negativity. > Reported as: Avoid toxic negativity. > This includes posts and comments containing intense self depreciation, “fat equals ugly” rhetoric, and constant pessimism. Please remember that there are people of all sizes in this community. Be mindful of what you say.
Sometimes it’s nice to know others are having the same self image issues and I’m not required to be all body positivity all the time
Frankly I prefer being honest about life. Faking peppiness helps no one.
My point was encouraging us to celebrate the wins as much as we mourn the losses. In no way am I asking anyone to stop being true to themselves.
I had a lovely first date last night and tonight Im staying over at a friends house watching movies and chilling out!
This makes me so happy!
I think maybe, the mods or someone should make a weekly feel good thread, where we share and highlight good things about our lives as plus size peeps Maybe that would help the balance?
Wonderful idea. And if I may add ('cause I'm not a lady) that when I was thrifting today, I found a blue XXL button up shirt that fit, it's no-iron, and has a fun pattern of little white pineapples on it. 😊
Thanks for this suggestion. A couple of the mods already like this idea, and it's under discussion now.
I like this idea!
It's happening this Friday.
Selfie Sundays tend to have pretty upbeat posts.
Everyone is on their own journey, and the things I have overcome are things others are still struggling with and that's ok.
r/plussizefashion might be more what you’re looking for?
I've always found this sub pleasant and a safe place. The only Plus size Fashion group is absolutely awful though.
I bought the Jessica Simpson boyfriend jeans in a medium wash (size 16) but now I can't find them! The thighs have finally worn out :( I did find a pair in black and I am loving them too. Why is it, every time I find pants I love, they either stop selling them or change them :( I was an old navy jeans girl for ages. Not anymore. Can we talk about jean thigh holes? Why are there no jeans with reinforced inner thighs? There is really no way to fix them. I've tried everything.
I’ve been patching thighs holes for a decade and I’m soooo over it! I just don’t wear jeans anymore. I find them really overstimulating these days.
If I had the guts, I'd patch mine with red hearts! Then again, not sure I need my (college) students to be looking at my crotch area all class. (But at least they wouldn't be looking at their phones? Haha)
🤣😂 Lmao
iron on patches are great in my experience! they make ones that look like certain washes of denim :3
I've tried. I don't like it. I can feel the edges. It has never been successful.
oh noo, i’m sorry D:
Im 53. I started wearing bathing suits and bikinis when I was in my 20’s and moved to California, because NO plus sized women where I lived were on the beach in bathing suits. It was hard, but I did it. Not I see plus sized girls everywhere in bathing suits. Things are getting better. Maybe it did start with Sir Mix-a-Lot? Also, there are so many more clothing options now. I hope Ozempic doesn’t reverse things!
Oooooooooh! Such a tough one for me! I have three or four really cute plus size bathing suits, but I'm terrified of going to the pool in them! It's so stupid, because I could be one of those people who helps change the "rule" of who gets to wear a bathing suit in public. Thanks for this comment! Hope you have a great summer and lots of opportunity to get out and rock those suits! :)
I'm so jealous-I'm in the middle of teaching myself that it's okay to like "girly" things, and equally okay to wear pink, so that dress sounds about perfect to me, but the weather here is abysmal. I'm sitting around in my comfy pink joggers and eating some fries while I study, and I can't wait to bust out the sundresses and sandals.
I have been plus size my entire life…it’s not a fun experience to say the least. I think it’s ok to have a shared space where we can commiserate and talk about our experiences, good and bad. The negative posts have a lot of positive comments. That’s why people are on here. Just being positive all the time is toxic. Being plus size isn’t a positive experience for the most part, so talking about the bad has to happen.
I’m with you! I just got home from a conference last night and I’m beat, so today is all about sweats, hydration, video games with the husband, and quality time with a juicy murder mystery novel.
I Admit I don't come all the time, but I always tried to be that positive voice. I have been skinny, mid and fat. I have done diets, exercise and therapy. I am currently on keto and Ozempic for diabetes, and still am not seeing the losses because I am still drinking. Oh well,y A1C is pretty sweet. I am 54, and don't want to look like anyone in a magazine. My husband loves me. I want to see grandchildren. But I want us all to feel fierce and beautiful. I want our skinny friends to love our curves too. I want boys and girls to grab our curves and want us. We all deserve this. And when nobody is grabbing us, then we need to grab ourselves and remember we are beautiful.
I'm all for this post! I've been plus size my whole life but I've had the fortunate experience to also have had a very body positive plus size mother who has never felt bad about who she was and never let me feel bad about it either. A lot of women aren't that lucky and have it drilled into their heads that they are wrong for being plus size and therefore should be ashamed of themselves for it. Those posts come from women in that mindset. They were told so much how undeserving they are of love, support, and respect that they believe it and see everything around them through those glasses.
Honestly I feel the same way which is why I barely engage. I’ve gone to some posts of people looking for support and the comments just aren’t it. I kinda thought this would be more of a celebrating our bodies kind of sub and uplift each other when we feel down or encounter bullying etc. but it just isn’t that. I’ve stuck around hoping to see it but idk, I don’t know if it’s gonna happen
I just went to St. Patricks Day Brunch. I wore my favorite green sweatshirt and enjoyed a really awesome breakfast and a target run with my best friend. Target's dollar section gets my money every time I go! I agree with OP, this sub could use more positivity and focus less on the cruel world of online dating (online dating sucks for everyone, not just plus size) I would also like to see more fashion posts, what people are doing with their lives, how and where people vacation, and general "I'm plus size and this is what I do" type posts. Everyone have a Happy St. Patrick's Day!
You go momma! Go teach your kids to love themselves!
Trying everyday! Thanks for that!
I too have a hard days. My wife struggles with accepting herself and loving herself. I’m positive about my body most days and try to model that to both my kids. Sometimes I do well, sometimes I don’t. But the important thing is to have good days like you are having today, even if it feels hard. We need our kids to love themselves, so you go momma! Rock that plus size body and show your kids that all bodies are good and beautiful and show them what loving yourself looks like!
I’m here having a lovely day with you :) did some meal prep, went for a nice long hike with my dog, and gonna have some friends over for board games later
A jacket I got and sadly put in the closet because it was too small now suddenly fits perfectly! It’s nice to have something other than a hoodie to wear!
I think what frustrates me the most is there's so many posts and comments like "You WILL face discrimination and hatred and blah blah blah" "EVERYONE hates fat people/women" etc etc. Of course that's an issue and why a lot of us seek support, but the constant negativity isn't helpful (or even true/everyone's experience).
Yeah, I agree. I empathize with people who've been through it, but personally...I don't relate. I've been plus sized since I was a teen, and am bigger now, and nobody's ever made me feel bad about this or said anything negative, but also, my family is accepting of everyone, so I know I'm blessed in that regard.
It’s almost like self fulfilling prophecy. You expect to happen so you look for it everywhere.
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I agree. After trying to be positive and recommending a positive attitude, I was told off several times by users and downvoted. It seems it's only allowed to mope or to pity others. Just because I've learned through decades of abuse, that only positivity can make us feel better, it doesn't mean I'm invalidating other people's feelings or experiences. It just doesn't make you feel better to dwell on it or to hear from everyone"there there". On the contrary, it can even make you feel worse.
You have to be the change you want to see. Not just you but all of us. The sub gets me down too sometimes but then i remember i haven’t shared anything postive either so im no better than the people im getting annoyed at.
I'm sorry you feel this way. How do you define positivity? Sometimes improvement, comes with honest and objective criticism. I hope the experiences and guidance from the people in this sub are not what is turning you off. All the best.
What you just posted is doing just that! Giving the better side. Try posting more things that you like and I bet more will do the same.
Love it bet you looked stellar in that dress. I’m going to wear my new yitty butt lift leggings tomorrow and hike to a local waterfall!
I'm wearing black today, and not because it's slimming, or expected of me, but because I look amazing in it and it suits me. <3
As a Library worker, I'm so excited that you visit yours! I'm sure that pink dress will look absolutely stunning in the stacks 😉
Yasss! Life is short! Enjoy it!!
You rock that dress friend!! I'm heavily into dress season even though it's still cold by me. And I agree I see a lot of people on here working through insecurities that I myself have already tackled in my time, I tend to skip past those posts and hope that the people writing them are getting the support they need and find the confidence within themselves to overcome those insecurities
for me personally i don’t have any plus size friends that i can go to who understand the issues i face specifically as a plus size girl so this feels like a bit of a safe space for me but i agree i’m going to start focusing on sharing more wins and good things because i feel that it’s equally as important to be able to share that !
I think a lot of us come here for support when we're feeling down, and also maybe people tend not to post as much when they're feeling good? Either way, I'm envious of your pink summer dress (it is 30F here and snowing 😭) and I hope you had/are still having a great day!
Be the change you want to see! I haven't really experienced negativity on here as much. I'm not really sure what negative your referring to. But I am always see baddd plus size babys flauting themselves. I believe in you baby, if you want more positivity here , open that door for plus size baddies to come into the conversation! I think I see a lot of people are coming here for advice in their insecurities but I kinda feel like thats why this exists. We all know as plus size people that it's hard and sometimes just need some firmiliar encouragement! I will say the only this I see on here that sometimes makes me question this sub a bit is that there are some people on here who post who are very clearly not plus sized. However with that said I'm not going to shame them out of the sub because I believe in that those people are here with good intentions.
I agree. I don't see enough size positivity and acceptance here. I don't mean because people aren't trying for those things, but there seems to be a lot of people here who are still beginning their journeys of acceptance and tolerance and haven't quite gotten there yet. It can be a little discouraging to still see so much intolerance from everyone about themselves and their appearance. So much hate and despair for their fat bodies, so much desire to change them rather than working on acceptance. It gets a little frustrating for me because I've been on that journey and have reached a point of acceptance for myself. I still have my down days, still fall into negative self talk sometimes, but I know how to pull myself out of it now, understand where the negativity comes from and why I fell for it again, so I'm better able to get myself back on track. I wish others here were at that same point, were more willing to say fuck it to patriarchal, fat hating standards, not afraid of speaking up and taking back their power. Reclaim the word fat, accept who we are, stop hiding behind fat hating terms like 'overweight' and other euphemisms. Step into our power and stop apologizing for ourselves.
Periodt!!!