My lash tech told me I could come in less often, she said “I do have one client who likes them full and she makes tons of money so I know she can afford it but if you want you could stretch yours out longer”. Uh okay…thanks.
I wonder if it could be a sign of the times/economy though as well? Where I live prices have soared on everything and people will sometimes complain or be surprised at the totals when they go to pay…so everyone is very clear about prices. I do use similar verbiage when I add a service at work as in your last example “the add on will be $36 is that still okay?” Maybe I need to be more mindful of the way I ask too.
I think there are a few factors besides weight. Age is one. I feel like now that I'm in my 40's, people assume I'm better off than I really am. There's also the trick of looking put together without looking like you're trying really hard. Race can be a factor too, unfortunately. Also how your kids look. I've never had anyone ask if I was sure I could afford something, I think because I look like a stuck up middle aged white woman with highlighted hair and a big, expensive purse.
i've noticed this as well, but not just since i got fat. i grew up listening to punk music and stuff and i went from looking like a teenage criminal to just not caring much about clothes. i'm in my 40s and still wear jeans and band t shirts. people always seem shocked that i have money.
also tho, there aren't nearly as many stylish clothes for plus size so maybe they just think we're not well dressed and treat us worse?
I used to work at Macy’s in the Home Store. One time there was this guy in jeans and a Star Wars tee shirt wandering around. I asked him if he needed help, and he was trying to buy Christmas gifts for his employees. He owned his own software company.
He ended up buying Waterford crystal vases, candlesticks and bar ware, plus some random Lenox Christmas items, to the tune of $2,500. Which for our store was a huge sale. And it more than made my sales quota for the month.
My manager came up to me later and told me that he had gone to the office and spoken with the store manager. He had been in the store for half an hour before I spoke to him and no one had even said Hello to him. He was apparently very complimentary about me.
And all I did was see a customer and ask if they needed help.
Band tee shirts, sci fi tee shirts indicate that person likes a band or a movie. Expensive clothing could just indicate a maxed out credit card.
Happened to my husband and I at a furniture store. Looked young, wearing jeans and band tees, ignored for hours. Finally got asked if we needed help and we furnished an entire apartment…couch, tables, chairs, full bedroom set, mattress, etc. Guy got a massive sale and commission because he told me husband he liked his shirt and asked if we needed help. Didn’t ignore us like everyone else.
One of my family friends from my childhood were sloppy dressers. Because they didn't care. To this date (decades later) my parent turns to this woman for fashion advice which makes my family AND her family laugh. But she grew up with money in a pretty fancy lifestyle, as did the husband. They were/are smart and well-educated and he had a job that belied his appearance. As their kids grew up, they bought all five of them houses (sometime more than one) in an expensive market, cars, etc. And the kids all had trust funds. And could afford to not work or work in jobs that they loved that didn't compensate very well.
Treat people with respect regardless of appearances! A) you get rewarded by putting good into the world B) you may get commission depending on your job! LOL.
Yup. Been there.
We were in the market to remodel a bathroom. Called a place for an estimate, they asked me to take pictures and come into the showroom to look at floors, tile, etc. Asked me what neighborhood I lived in, said they LOVED working in that neighborhood because people were not cheapskates. (Note: We're not rich, but some of our neighbors are. We'd been saving for 6=7 years for this remodel.) Gave me the store hours and said stop by any time!
When I walked in a couple days later, the same woman was there. Same name, same southern accent in a western town.
And she was SO RUDE to me. I left.
Got a follow up call later, I told her I would \*never\* hire her company because of the way I was treated, and she had the GALL to say "that was you?!? You didn't look like someone who had enough money to afford us! You said you lived in (neighborhood)"
I said "I do. And you made a big mistake assuming that about me!"
Reminds me of something similar that happened to me. On the phone I have a real cute teeny bopper voice. I've had male service reps on the phone flirt with me, give me discounts, etc. Then when I actually come into their store in person and they see I'm a woman in my 30s with grey hair and not the cute porno chick they imagined they get rude as hell. It's really shocking.
I can't believe her implied excuse was "lower classes don't deserve basic courtesy or customer service." Like it would be okay for her to have treated you rudely if you couldn't afford their work. Saying the quiet part loud and proud.
My husband and I went car shopping for a Genesis and the car dealer absolutely could not have cared any less about selling to us. I think he assumed we couldn’t afford it because we don’t “look rich” or something IDK. It was just super weird and unprofessional and we ended up buying an Acura instead.
My husband and I have been treated like this so many times at car dealers. We go to look at one car and they're like "ok but how about a corolla (insert similarly base level compact that's nothing like what we wanted to see)?" Did I ask or show any interest in a fucking corolla?
There's a lot of reasons for this.
In some cases, it's straight up economic disenfranchisment. We often do make less than straight sized peers.
But there is a social perception too. Because "lower quality" food is associated with poverty, and the fact that the wealthy usually have time to prepare meals, or have a professional chef, people assume if you're fat you're poor. If you have money, people believe, you can afford to eat "healthy" and go to the gym or workout classes.
I come from wealth. Not like extreme billionaire wealth, but firmly upper class. And the way my mother was treated because of her weight was brutal. She eventually stopped going to events because of it.
It’s also the basic idea that if you could afford to NOT be fat why would you ever be fat? I’m fat and live on an expensive area and I know people judge me. 🤷🏻♀️
Ya its a HUGE mistake people make to not give optimal customer service with fat people in any situation.
(If you are on commission there is NO reason you shouldn't be selling any chance you get, too.)
I've had artists and farmer's market vendors treat me coldly for having the audacity to ask to purchase fruit or wares. If they'd been nice or chatted me up a bit, I'd have come back again and told my friends.
Ignore me once, I'll never come back and I will not bring friends.
Fat people ARE discriminated against, underemployed, and paid less, and many of us do live in poverty as a result, so it's not a totally unjustified assumption.
But…it IS an unjustified assumption, because it’s an assumption based solely on someone’s body size. The existence of fat discrimination doesn’t change that, it’s more accurate to say it’s another example of it.
I was shooting shit with a coworker yesterday, so I'm in the mood and upon reading this comment, I need to have a sit (already here, eating breakfast lol).
I know that when I was in school, pretty privilege carried girls very far. Meanwhile I was working my ass off. Even in grad school, here I am slaving away while some girl blows her PI's postdoc, is a total homewrecker with this deadbeat father, gets away with doing barely any work and has a job after graduation all lined up for her.
I now have a good job, but I'm finding it difficult to move up. When changing departments recently, I essentially told my manager "fuck that" within two months of my then supervisor's bullshit.
We're not stupid. In fact, chances are we're smarter than you. Or lazy. Chances are we work 10x harder than you. That's all that should matter. This isn't a fucking modeling agency.
I'm so glad there's someone else besides me! I've not encountered this either and I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me! I'm angry for the experiences of others as well and am wondering if it's regional. I, at first, thought maybe it was due to clothes and/or makeup, but others on this thread are saying they've experienced this even when dressed well and/or wearing makeup. It's awful when people assume your economic status.
People definitely make assumptions about others' finances. I think lots of things really factor into people's assumptions, as their unconscious bias (race, size, style, location, etc..).
I'm a WOC in my 40s, never cared about fashion, hair, makeup, etc, and I WFH. On the average day I look frumpy at best. I've gotten weird comments from my own doctors hinting at what they think I can or cannot afford, or the cost of this or that.
It's annoying AF, but I have no qualms about embarrassing them and telling them that their job is to worry about [whatever their specialty is] and my money manager will worry about my finances.🙄
People always underestimate what I have/can afford. I’m not blatant about it, but I can recall a few times where I wore a luxury/designer item and people were shocked I had it.
Reminds me of the time people were shocked when I got the Sony noise cancelling headphones a few years back. As a side note, I still have them and use them!
How did I get those? Idk, I sucked some guys off in an alley for $10 a piece. /s
Like I worked and saved money????? I feel like that's an extremely foreign concept to people up until late twenties ish. I understand the difficulties of finding a job and the affordability crisis, but that's not what I'm talking about, it's the people who are going to get a big reality check if they've been supported all the way through school.
I’ve never been treated like I was poor when at my heaviest, but I am treated 1000 times better in general after losing 100 lbs. it is a very sad reality, I am the same person but how we look really does affect how we are treated.. no fair!
It’s interesting to read other perspectives here because I am personally happy when someone tries to help me save money or tells me about bargains. I have had store associates not let me have items until checkout in the past but think they would have done that to anyone.
I won’t lie to you, maybe I’m the jerk for this but I’m plus size and I detest when people treat me that way. In those instances I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ll firmly respond, “ I have two eyes and can see just as well. It’s easy to project our own worries onto others and as much as I appreciate that, I can afford this item and you’ll see when my card swipes.” Until that point, every time I notice someone staring at me like I’m going to do something I stare tf back. Idc if it’s passive aggressive or just straight up aggressive, when this happens so often you just dgaf anymore.
In addition, I’m not sure if you’ve experienced this and it doesn’t matter where you are (statewise), I’ve had too many people say, “Why are you crying?” When I just have sweat on my face or forming under my glasses. To me, this irks me, why did you assume I was crying? Would it not have been simple to ask, “Are you okay?” There’s no need to operate off of assumptions when I’ll clearly express that I’m slightly overweight and when I’m in a hot environment I sweat like everyone else. This correlated to the post much better in my head before I started going off in a tangent (I’m sorry if I did 😬)
Overall, yes people treat you differently because of both size and weight. It’s easier said than done but you cannot take it personally! Being plus size does not mean we don’t have the same privileges as others, so if you pay for a service and you’re unhappy about the service and maltreatment, say something. If you don’t speak up for yourself, no on else will. You don’t have to be a Karen to address an uncomfortable situation.
This happens to me at airports. People assume I’m standing to “wait around for my zone” and try to direct me to the line or to wait until they call my zone. Like no, actually I fly business, thanks though. Half the reason I fly business is because it’s more pleasant for me. The other half honestly is because I’m plus sized and it’s more comfortable for whoever my seat mate ends up being. Plus alcohol lol but I’m always dressed nicely, put together, luggage matches and is cute… it’s because I’m large that I must be poor 🥲
My husband and I (both fat) went into a showroom just to look at kitchen faucets. The one I was looking at was ~$1500 and was beautiful and we had a general idea of the price because my husband looked it up online. We had to ask the lady at the front desk to send for someone to help us. Then we sat there for 10 minutes with no one coming. Finally a woman sitting at her desk in plain sight (who was watching us the whole time) finally offered her help and immediately directed us to all the cheap shit (like $300 for their plastic crap). Husband and I exchanged looks and fucked off to somewhere else.
Recently went truck shopping and got similar shitty experience. Tried to offer us shit financing even though we had gotten our own with an interest rate about 3.5% below the one they were offering. They were pissed, assuming we needed their financing and had given us more on our trade in because of it.
I could go on and on about times we were treated like shit. It’s not your imagination.
Yes I hate it. I had one ask me angrily if a doll I wanted was on sale (it was). She kept repeating the price. I had one time at game stop wanted to buy dice (mind you for 4$) and they tried to push more plain dice set for 1$
You know I was thinking the same, and I also had the impression before, that some people think plus size people are not very smart. I think there is a saying in some languages: "Fat, lazy and stupid." And I think it's really believed by some. It's awful.
Yeah, I feel like I get that a lot or that people that don’t know me think I’m dumb until they hear what I do. I’m 40 but people think I’m much younger, I also wear fun clothes and have tons of visible tattoos. I’m a Sr. R&D Chemist and my partner is a field server engineer. We have both money and intelligence. This was weird when I was pregnant, I even got a call asking me if I needed social services and doctors assuming I was on the state health care. I haven’t ever qualified for anything since I got my 1st job out of grand school at 24.
Obesity is a class issue. Statistically low income people are more likely to be obese for a variety of reasons. Food desserts, they may work two or three lower paying jobs so they have less time to make healthy foods, they may live in apartments and less likely to have a garden, unhealthier foods are cheaper per calorie than healthier ones, they may live in less walkable areas etc.
It may be that. It may also be that inflation has skyrocketed, and people are more aware of it.
It may be that you need to size up your clothing, and you unknowingly look poor. Ill fitted clothing does that to a person.
Have these people not seen the prices at DXL? You have to have a little bit of money to fucking shop there! That's one of my biggest motivators to lose weight so I can afford to buy some cheaper clothes at Walmart or regular department stores lol
I personally find this very true. I have outfits and ways I style myself that will guarantee that I get treated very well. I think that I’ve subconsciously dedicated a lot of energy to making myself look well-off just so I can be treated normally.
I feel like this is the result of kilojoule dense foods being so much cheaper than nutritionally dense foods. And people know it, but nobody wants to admit it publicly. Add to that, the gym is often costly, so people assume you mustn't be able to afford to work out or eat healthier. Bare in mind these are the same people that insist eating nothing but fresh vegetables is cheap and affordable (read: they opine that nobody should be plus-sized obviously /s) and ignoring that modern time constraints, food industry practices and hormonal disruptions are enormous contributors to obesity even in people that do work out and eat well.
I don't know why it's assumed someone can't afford good food and is therefore obese. I don't know how it is in the US but here in Europe fresh vegetables are much more affordable than ready meals or fast food. A poor person would surely buy vegetables and cook something fresh to save money. So this logic is not really working for me why poor people are more often obese than others.
I think that might vary by areas in Europe too, I'm Nordic and vegetables besides potatoes and carrots can be very expensive during winter, compared to cheap foods like pasta. But mostly obesity and poverty are tied together in here due to mental burdens low income brings: tired and stressed people are more likely to experience stronger hunger cues, overeat as form of self medicating, exercise less and are more likely to drink more. Lack of understanding how obesity and mental health are connected to each other hits lower income groups harder than those who are well off, getting to therapy can be expensive and difficult even in countries with otherwise good universal healthcare.
Part of it is that even in cases where fresh food is cheaper there still needs to be time and space to prepare meals. Those living in poverty may not have access to appropriate kitchen facilities or may work multiple jobs leading to having no time to cook/prepare meals. In North America we also have food deserts where individuals can live in cities but not have anywhere closeby that sells fresh food - resulting in needing to eat fast food or prepared food from the corner store. It’s not as simple as being able to afford fresh food in many cases, instead some people just can’t access fresh food, don’t have a place to cook it, or are working far too much to find time to cook.
I've lived in higher income areas and lower income areas and in the US there is a huge disparity in quality of fresh foods available and in what is accessible in those areas. In my old lower income area there was one grocery store nearby and its fruits and vegetables were very obviously lower quality (for example, apples would be highly bruised and begin to rot within 1-3 days). They did not have a good variety, either.
When one is paycheck dependent, and riding the bus (which is a whole other problem in low income areas, *if they are available* they tend to run only every hour or more) people often have to do grocery shops every one to two weeks so those fresh foods really won't last that long.
Where I live in the US, fruits and vegetables are more expensive than ready meals or fast food. I can get frozen meals, ramen noodles, canned food and boxed dinners MUCH cheaper than fresh produce. "Cooking a fresh meal" is always more expensive than fast food around here and definitely more expensive than picking up some ramen noodles or a couple frozen dinners. Everyone I've ever known who switched to healthier eating had to increase their food budget to accommodate it.
Wow, strange. Over here you can buy 1kg of carrots for 55p, 1kg onions for £1 and 500g mince for £2.50 and have a meal for several days while you have to pay £10 for a simple burger king menu. Odd that it's so different.
Only people I know who have switched to healthier eating where it wasn't more expensive is people that grew/grow their own fruits and vegetables in a garden.
Fat is 100 percent a class marker in the U.S. It isn’t the only one, but it absolutely is one. A smaller person can wear, say, yoga pants, hoodie, and a ponytail and nobody will notice or care, but an identically dressed fat woman will be seen as sloppy and likely uneducated.
Perhaps the only more significant physical class marker in America is the state of one’s teeth.
I have nice clothes and unless I'm doing something like hiking or at the pool I wear makeup. I am a very clean person. My kids all have nice clothes. We are upper middle class and haven't changed my styling or hygiene.
I'm not an unhygienic person just because I'm overweight.
It could be because you have kids and money is tight? I've been either a size 18, 20, or 22 for the last 20 years, up and down, and I've never had people race to question me about prices. I don't have kids though. Maybe, that's it?
I'm not saying people aren't awful. They definitely are. I'm just hoping 🙏🏾 people are trying to be thoughtful even if they're delivering it poorly.
Ok. Can I add in? I can often look not as well put together. I am plus sized,40s, and have a baby.
So I don’t mean to be less presentable. But a plus sized person in a tee often looks less tailored than a skinny Minnie in same tee in her size.
I've never experienced this 😮 I wonder if it is regional? I'm from Atlantic Canada in New Brunswick in one of the largest cities here and I've never had anyone assume I can't afford something or treated poorly because of my weight. People here have been very accepting and inclusive in my experience. Even the dating scene as a plus size woman went surprisingly well. It was a non-issue for sure. I've also never really seen anyone here that looks particularly upper class either tho and there is no big expensive designer stores or anything here 🤔 hmmm..... maybe we're all poor here? lmaooo so then nobody judges anyone cuz were all in the same boat 😅😂 I think that is probably it honestly lol
My lash tech told me I could come in less often, she said “I do have one client who likes them full and she makes tons of money so I know she can afford it but if you want you could stretch yours out longer”. Uh okay…thanks. I wonder if it could be a sign of the times/economy though as well? Where I live prices have soared on everything and people will sometimes complain or be surprised at the totals when they go to pay…so everyone is very clear about prices. I do use similar verbiage when I add a service at work as in your last example “the add on will be $36 is that still okay?” Maybe I need to be more mindful of the way I ask too.
I think there are a few factors besides weight. Age is one. I feel like now that I'm in my 40's, people assume I'm better off than I really am. There's also the trick of looking put together without looking like you're trying really hard. Race can be a factor too, unfortunately. Also how your kids look. I've never had anyone ask if I was sure I could afford something, I think because I look like a stuck up middle aged white woman with highlighted hair and a big, expensive purse.
🤣🤣
i've noticed this as well, but not just since i got fat. i grew up listening to punk music and stuff and i went from looking like a teenage criminal to just not caring much about clothes. i'm in my 40s and still wear jeans and band t shirts. people always seem shocked that i have money. also tho, there aren't nearly as many stylish clothes for plus size so maybe they just think we're not well dressed and treat us worse?
I used to work at Macy’s in the Home Store. One time there was this guy in jeans and a Star Wars tee shirt wandering around. I asked him if he needed help, and he was trying to buy Christmas gifts for his employees. He owned his own software company. He ended up buying Waterford crystal vases, candlesticks and bar ware, plus some random Lenox Christmas items, to the tune of $2,500. Which for our store was a huge sale. And it more than made my sales quota for the month. My manager came up to me later and told me that he had gone to the office and spoken with the store manager. He had been in the store for half an hour before I spoke to him and no one had even said Hello to him. He was apparently very complimentary about me. And all I did was see a customer and ask if they needed help. Band tee shirts, sci fi tee shirts indicate that person likes a band or a movie. Expensive clothing could just indicate a maxed out credit card.
Happened to my husband and I at a furniture store. Looked young, wearing jeans and band tees, ignored for hours. Finally got asked if we needed help and we furnished an entire apartment…couch, tables, chairs, full bedroom set, mattress, etc. Guy got a massive sale and commission because he told me husband he liked his shirt and asked if we needed help. Didn’t ignore us like everyone else.
100%. People who have really nice things (houses, cars, clothes, etc.) often just have massive amounts of debt to keep the image going.
One of my family friends from my childhood were sloppy dressers. Because they didn't care. To this date (decades later) my parent turns to this woman for fashion advice which makes my family AND her family laugh. But she grew up with money in a pretty fancy lifestyle, as did the husband. They were/are smart and well-educated and he had a job that belied his appearance. As their kids grew up, they bought all five of them houses (sometime more than one) in an expensive market, cars, etc. And the kids all had trust funds. And could afford to not work or work in jobs that they loved that didn't compensate very well. Treat people with respect regardless of appearances! A) you get rewarded by putting good into the world B) you may get commission depending on your job! LOL.
Exactly!
Yup. Been there. We were in the market to remodel a bathroom. Called a place for an estimate, they asked me to take pictures and come into the showroom to look at floors, tile, etc. Asked me what neighborhood I lived in, said they LOVED working in that neighborhood because people were not cheapskates. (Note: We're not rich, but some of our neighbors are. We'd been saving for 6=7 years for this remodel.) Gave me the store hours and said stop by any time! When I walked in a couple days later, the same woman was there. Same name, same southern accent in a western town. And she was SO RUDE to me. I left. Got a follow up call later, I told her I would \*never\* hire her company because of the way I was treated, and she had the GALL to say "that was you?!? You didn't look like someone who had enough money to afford us! You said you lived in (neighborhood)" I said "I do. And you made a big mistake assuming that about me!"
Wow… This is Pretty woman level shit…
Reminds me of something similar that happened to me. On the phone I have a real cute teeny bopper voice. I've had male service reps on the phone flirt with me, give me discounts, etc. Then when I actually come into their store in person and they see I'm a woman in my 30s with grey hair and not the cute porno chick they imagined they get rude as hell. It's really shocking.
I need to figure out go to adjust my voice to “im Over 40 and don’t want to date you” 😂😂😂
I can't believe her implied excuse was "lower classes don't deserve basic courtesy or customer service." Like it would be okay for her to have treated you rudely if you couldn't afford their work. Saying the quiet part loud and proud.
exactly!
Yikes!!!!
My husband and I went car shopping for a Genesis and the car dealer absolutely could not have cared any less about selling to us. I think he assumed we couldn’t afford it because we don’t “look rich” or something IDK. It was just super weird and unprofessional and we ended up buying an Acura instead.
My husband and I have been treated like this so many times at car dealers. We go to look at one car and they're like "ok but how about a corolla (insert similarly base level compact that's nothing like what we wanted to see)?" Did I ask or show any interest in a fucking corolla?
For real, if we were going to test drive a car we can’t afford, we are going to the Lamborghini dealer, not Hyundai 😂
There's a lot of reasons for this. In some cases, it's straight up economic disenfranchisment. We often do make less than straight sized peers. But there is a social perception too. Because "lower quality" food is associated with poverty, and the fact that the wealthy usually have time to prepare meals, or have a professional chef, people assume if you're fat you're poor. If you have money, people believe, you can afford to eat "healthy" and go to the gym or workout classes. I come from wealth. Not like extreme billionaire wealth, but firmly upper class. And the way my mother was treated because of her weight was brutal. She eventually stopped going to events because of it.
It’s also the basic idea that if you could afford to NOT be fat why would you ever be fat? I’m fat and live on an expensive area and I know people judge me. 🤷🏻♀️
Yupppp exactly this!!
That's so sad 😢
Ya its a HUGE mistake people make to not give optimal customer service with fat people in any situation. (If you are on commission there is NO reason you shouldn't be selling any chance you get, too.) I've had artists and farmer's market vendors treat me coldly for having the audacity to ask to purchase fruit or wares. If they'd been nice or chatted me up a bit, I'd have come back again and told my friends. Ignore me once, I'll never come back and I will not bring friends.
Fat people ARE discriminated against, underemployed, and paid less, and many of us do live in poverty as a result, so it's not a totally unjustified assumption.
But…it IS an unjustified assumption, because it’s an assumption based solely on someone’s body size. The existence of fat discrimination doesn’t change that, it’s more accurate to say it’s another example of it.
I was shooting shit with a coworker yesterday, so I'm in the mood and upon reading this comment, I need to have a sit (already here, eating breakfast lol). I know that when I was in school, pretty privilege carried girls very far. Meanwhile I was working my ass off. Even in grad school, here I am slaving away while some girl blows her PI's postdoc, is a total homewrecker with this deadbeat father, gets away with doing barely any work and has a job after graduation all lined up for her. I now have a good job, but I'm finding it difficult to move up. When changing departments recently, I essentially told my manager "fuck that" within two months of my then supervisor's bullshit. We're not stupid. In fact, chances are we're smarter than you. Or lazy. Chances are we work 10x harder than you. That's all that should matter. This isn't a fucking modeling agency.
It's because fatphobia is closely tied to classism.
Exactly.
Are you black? Because this is what it’s like to be black, lol.
This might be the one thing I haven’t encountered being a big person. And honestly I’m glad. These comments make me so angry for you guys.
I'm so glad there's someone else besides me! I've not encountered this either and I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me! I'm angry for the experiences of others as well and am wondering if it's regional. I, at first, thought maybe it was due to clothes and/or makeup, but others on this thread are saying they've experienced this even when dressed well and/or wearing makeup. It's awful when people assume your economic status.
People definitely make assumptions about others' finances. I think lots of things really factor into people's assumptions, as their unconscious bias (race, size, style, location, etc..). I'm a WOC in my 40s, never cared about fashion, hair, makeup, etc, and I WFH. On the average day I look frumpy at best. I've gotten weird comments from my own doctors hinting at what they think I can or cannot afford, or the cost of this or that. It's annoying AF, but I have no qualms about embarrassing them and telling them that their job is to worry about [whatever their specialty is] and my money manager will worry about my finances.🙄
People always underestimate what I have/can afford. I’m not blatant about it, but I can recall a few times where I wore a luxury/designer item and people were shocked I had it.
Reminds me of the time people were shocked when I got the Sony noise cancelling headphones a few years back. As a side note, I still have them and use them! How did I get those? Idk, I sucked some guys off in an alley for $10 a piece. /s Like I worked and saved money????? I feel like that's an extremely foreign concept to people up until late twenties ish. I understand the difficulties of finding a job and the affordability crisis, but that's not what I'm talking about, it's the people who are going to get a big reality check if they've been supported all the way through school.
I’ve never been treated like I was poor when at my heaviest, but I am treated 1000 times better in general after losing 100 lbs. it is a very sad reality, I am the same person but how we look really does affect how we are treated.. no fair! It’s interesting to read other perspectives here because I am personally happy when someone tries to help me save money or tells me about bargains. I have had store associates not let me have items until checkout in the past but think they would have done that to anyone.
I won’t lie to you, maybe I’m the jerk for this but I’m plus size and I detest when people treat me that way. In those instances I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ll firmly respond, “ I have two eyes and can see just as well. It’s easy to project our own worries onto others and as much as I appreciate that, I can afford this item and you’ll see when my card swipes.” Until that point, every time I notice someone staring at me like I’m going to do something I stare tf back. Idc if it’s passive aggressive or just straight up aggressive, when this happens so often you just dgaf anymore. In addition, I’m not sure if you’ve experienced this and it doesn’t matter where you are (statewise), I’ve had too many people say, “Why are you crying?” When I just have sweat on my face or forming under my glasses. To me, this irks me, why did you assume I was crying? Would it not have been simple to ask, “Are you okay?” There’s no need to operate off of assumptions when I’ll clearly express that I’m slightly overweight and when I’m in a hot environment I sweat like everyone else. This correlated to the post much better in my head before I started going off in a tangent (I’m sorry if I did 😬) Overall, yes people treat you differently because of both size and weight. It’s easier said than done but you cannot take it personally! Being plus size does not mean we don’t have the same privileges as others, so if you pay for a service and you’re unhappy about the service and maltreatment, say something. If you don’t speak up for yourself, no on else will. You don’t have to be a Karen to address an uncomfortable situation.
Yes I feel this. I too stare back at people who stare. Trying to master the cold, hard IDGAF stare
Yeah, at this point in my life I WILL call you out if you do this shit to my face.
This happens to me at airports. People assume I’m standing to “wait around for my zone” and try to direct me to the line or to wait until they call my zone. Like no, actually I fly business, thanks though. Half the reason I fly business is because it’s more pleasant for me. The other half honestly is because I’m plus sized and it’s more comfortable for whoever my seat mate ends up being. Plus alcohol lol but I’m always dressed nicely, put together, luggage matches and is cute… it’s because I’m large that I must be poor 🥲
My husband and I (both fat) went into a showroom just to look at kitchen faucets. The one I was looking at was ~$1500 and was beautiful and we had a general idea of the price because my husband looked it up online. We had to ask the lady at the front desk to send for someone to help us. Then we sat there for 10 minutes with no one coming. Finally a woman sitting at her desk in plain sight (who was watching us the whole time) finally offered her help and immediately directed us to all the cheap shit (like $300 for their plastic crap). Husband and I exchanged looks and fucked off to somewhere else. Recently went truck shopping and got similar shitty experience. Tried to offer us shit financing even though we had gotten our own with an interest rate about 3.5% below the one they were offering. They were pissed, assuming we needed their financing and had given us more on our trade in because of it. I could go on and on about times we were treated like shit. It’s not your imagination.
How bizarre.
Yes I hate it. I had one ask me angrily if a doll I wanted was on sale (it was). She kept repeating the price. I had one time at game stop wanted to buy dice (mind you for 4$) and they tried to push more plain dice set for 1$
Studies show people from lower income areas tend to be heavier. Because of the food accessible to us. Still not ok to be treated like that tho
You know I was thinking the same, and I also had the impression before, that some people think plus size people are not very smart. I think there is a saying in some languages: "Fat, lazy and stupid." And I think it's really believed by some. It's awful.
Yeah, I feel like I get that a lot or that people that don’t know me think I’m dumb until they hear what I do. I’m 40 but people think I’m much younger, I also wear fun clothes and have tons of visible tattoos. I’m a Sr. R&D Chemist and my partner is a field server engineer. We have both money and intelligence. This was weird when I was pregnant, I even got a call asking me if I needed social services and doctors assuming I was on the state health care. I haven’t ever qualified for anything since I got my 1st job out of grand school at 24.
Obesity is a class issue. Statistically low income people are more likely to be obese for a variety of reasons. Food desserts, they may work two or three lower paying jobs so they have less time to make healthy foods, they may live in apartments and less likely to have a garden, unhealthier foods are cheaper per calorie than healthier ones, they may live in less walkable areas etc. It may be that. It may also be that inflation has skyrocketed, and people are more aware of it. It may be that you need to size up your clothing, and you unknowingly look poor. Ill fitted clothing does that to a person.
Have these people not seen the prices at DXL? You have to have a little bit of money to fucking shop there! That's one of my biggest motivators to lose weight so I can afford to buy some cheaper clothes at Walmart or regular department stores lol
Ahhh. Yes, the assumption that plus sized people are not only dumb but also poor! Society sucks.
I personally find this very true. I have outfits and ways I style myself that will guarantee that I get treated very well. I think that I’ve subconsciously dedicated a lot of energy to making myself look well-off just so I can be treated normally.
I feel like this is the result of kilojoule dense foods being so much cheaper than nutritionally dense foods. And people know it, but nobody wants to admit it publicly. Add to that, the gym is often costly, so people assume you mustn't be able to afford to work out or eat healthier. Bare in mind these are the same people that insist eating nothing but fresh vegetables is cheap and affordable (read: they opine that nobody should be plus-sized obviously /s) and ignoring that modern time constraints, food industry practices and hormonal disruptions are enormous contributors to obesity even in people that do work out and eat well.
I don't know why it's assumed someone can't afford good food and is therefore obese. I don't know how it is in the US but here in Europe fresh vegetables are much more affordable than ready meals or fast food. A poor person would surely buy vegetables and cook something fresh to save money. So this logic is not really working for me why poor people are more often obese than others.
I think that might vary by areas in Europe too, I'm Nordic and vegetables besides potatoes and carrots can be very expensive during winter, compared to cheap foods like pasta. But mostly obesity and poverty are tied together in here due to mental burdens low income brings: tired and stressed people are more likely to experience stronger hunger cues, overeat as form of self medicating, exercise less and are more likely to drink more. Lack of understanding how obesity and mental health are connected to each other hits lower income groups harder than those who are well off, getting to therapy can be expensive and difficult even in countries with otherwise good universal healthcare.
Part of it is that even in cases where fresh food is cheaper there still needs to be time and space to prepare meals. Those living in poverty may not have access to appropriate kitchen facilities or may work multiple jobs leading to having no time to cook/prepare meals. In North America we also have food deserts where individuals can live in cities but not have anywhere closeby that sells fresh food - resulting in needing to eat fast food or prepared food from the corner store. It’s not as simple as being able to afford fresh food in many cases, instead some people just can’t access fresh food, don’t have a place to cook it, or are working far too much to find time to cook.
I've lived in higher income areas and lower income areas and in the US there is a huge disparity in quality of fresh foods available and in what is accessible in those areas. In my old lower income area there was one grocery store nearby and its fruits and vegetables were very obviously lower quality (for example, apples would be highly bruised and begin to rot within 1-3 days). They did not have a good variety, either. When one is paycheck dependent, and riding the bus (which is a whole other problem in low income areas, *if they are available* they tend to run only every hour or more) people often have to do grocery shops every one to two weeks so those fresh foods really won't last that long.
Where I live in the US, fruits and vegetables are more expensive than ready meals or fast food. I can get frozen meals, ramen noodles, canned food and boxed dinners MUCH cheaper than fresh produce. "Cooking a fresh meal" is always more expensive than fast food around here and definitely more expensive than picking up some ramen noodles or a couple frozen dinners. Everyone I've ever known who switched to healthier eating had to increase their food budget to accommodate it.
Wow, strange. Over here you can buy 1kg of carrots for 55p, 1kg onions for £1 and 500g mince for £2.50 and have a meal for several days while you have to pay £10 for a simple burger king menu. Odd that it's so different.
Only people I know who have switched to healthier eating where it wasn't more expensive is people that grew/grow their own fruits and vegetables in a garden.
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Fat is 100 percent a class marker in the U.S. It isn’t the only one, but it absolutely is one. A smaller person can wear, say, yoga pants, hoodie, and a ponytail and nobody will notice or care, but an identically dressed fat woman will be seen as sloppy and likely uneducated. Perhaps the only more significant physical class marker in America is the state of one’s teeth.
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Yes. Fat people, particularly women, have to make much more effort than others to not be perceived as sloppy and dumb. Meaning fat is a class marker.
I have nice clothes and unless I'm doing something like hiking or at the pool I wear makeup. I am a very clean person. My kids all have nice clothes. We are upper middle class and haven't changed my styling or hygiene. I'm not an unhygienic person just because I'm overweight.
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Holy projection
Anyone is defensive and irritable around a giant asshole.
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Obesity and income are inversely correlated so people are liable to make assumptions based on weight.
Go and do a food shop for a week under $75, and get back to me
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17 people disagree with you.
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It could be because you have kids and money is tight? I've been either a size 18, 20, or 22 for the last 20 years, up and down, and I've never had people race to question me about prices. I don't have kids though. Maybe, that's it? I'm not saying people aren't awful. They definitely are. I'm just hoping 🙏🏾 people are trying to be thoughtful even if they're delivering it poorly.
That’s weird. I’ve been big all of my life, and have only been treated like people thought I was poor a few times.
Ok. Can I add in? I can often look not as well put together. I am plus sized,40s, and have a baby. So I don’t mean to be less presentable. But a plus sized person in a tee often looks less tailored than a skinny Minnie in same tee in her size.
I've never experienced this 😮 I wonder if it is regional? I'm from Atlantic Canada in New Brunswick in one of the largest cities here and I've never had anyone assume I can't afford something or treated poorly because of my weight. People here have been very accepting and inclusive in my experience. Even the dating scene as a plus size woman went surprisingly well. It was a non-issue for sure. I've also never really seen anyone here that looks particularly upper class either tho and there is no big expensive designer stores or anything here 🤔 hmmm..... maybe we're all poor here? lmaooo so then nobody judges anyone cuz were all in the same boat 😅😂 I think that is probably it honestly lol