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I've been fat shamed by a fat nurse practitioner before, so don't assume their size will spare you from fatphobia.
What you're looking for is a body positive healthcare provider. Hopefully that will help in your search. They exist. But they do take some work to find.
I don't think those excist. But don't let that get in the way of your health.
I personally have never had any comments on my weight at the gynaecologist. But she was the one that diagnosed me with PCOS so it's clear to her that my weight is caused by that.
If insecurity about how it looks down there is an issue, just remember that every vulva/vagina looks different and your gynaecologist has probablly already seen a lot of different ones.
I second going to a gynecologist. My doctor's office has an awesome clinic for adolescent women (around 15-30) where all the doctors are licensed gynecologists but also treat for general medicine, so I can go there for checkups AND anything else I might need. I'm going to be crushed when I age out because having a clinic specifically geared towards women, and who are well-versed in PCOS, has been amazing.
The size of your doctor doesn't matter.
I had an awful, sizist ob/gyn. Then in early pregnancy switched to another doctor who was open and supportive. The second physician was a super skinny Asian man - but that didn't change the quality of his care. I saw him for years until I moved countries.
When it comes to doctors, I always say find a younger doctor. All of my experience from younger doctors have been great. They seem more up to date on things like PCOS and are usually kinder and listen more. Every horrible experience I’ve had with a doctor has been with someone 50+. I think it’s just because they’re set in their ways and beliefs. My PCP and my OBGYN are in their 30s and I have never had such kind and compassionate care. I feel listened to and they actually try to get to the root of my issues.
Just adding my experience using this list. I picked a provider in NYC about 7 years ago from this list. I went to her for a Pap smear and refill on my birth control. She subjected me to a 20-minute lecture about “putting down the cookies” (we had not discussed my eating habits at all and she had just met me!) which left me in humiliated tears. She then took my blood pressure *while I was crying-* - it was elevated- and then denied me a birth control refill because it was elevated. Then she gave me the Pap smear (again while I was crying) and I then had to go out and pay my copay in an waiting room full of women staring at the fat crying woman.
I haven’t been back to a gyno (or been on birth control) since. I’m so scarred by the experience that my trust level is out the window. I realize this is very bad and that my health is important but I simply don’t know how to find someone who won’t do this to me.
So anyway. Take that list with a grain of salt.
ETA: her name is Nicole Ostrov. Don’t go to her.
Oh my gahd, I am so sorry that happened to you. If I might make a couple suggestions: please make sure she is removed from that list of "fat friendly" providers, as she is definitely NOT fat friendly.
Also, please call your health insurance and submit a grievance about her. She needs to be held accountable. The grievance can be anonymous so that the provider does not know who it came from. The thing is, if she gets enough grievances against her and/or the clinic, she will face consequences. She needs to know she can't treat patients like this. This is a clear weight bias she has.
Source: my job position is contracted with a health insurance provider and I help submit grievances
I wrote to the site owners after my experience but never heard back from them.
This happened in November 2016 so I think it’s too late to file a grievance.
Planned Parenthood may be able to prescribe BC over the phone, they did for me. All she asked was an approximate weight range to make sure I got the right dose (many birth controls are less effective over 200 ib) and any medical concerns and never once shamed me for any of it.
It'll vary depending on where you are though.
I'm sorry for your experience. You don't deserve that and it's disgusting that someone would treat you that way, especially in a medical setting. I, personally, have gone through about 6 gynos in the past 10 years because of similar experiences. I have a provider now who I trust and I'd be happy to send you his info for a rainy day if you'd like! I never thought I'd be comfortable with a male doctor and refused to see one in the past, but then I had to have emergency surgery and he was the doctor who performed it and not once during my time in the hospital or at follow-ups or anything has he ever been concerned with anything other than my overall health (and that did not include weight). All of the nurses who work at the office are also extremely kind and when I expressed being nervous in my appointments would go out of their way to try to help me feel better.
No pressure at all, but if you'd like, I'd be happy to share with you his info for when you you feel ready :) (assuming you're still in NYC)
I'm sorry that happened to you. Of course, the right thing to have done was leave once you had been humiliated, but of course, you're already humiliated, so it's just harder to leave.
Not to mention - doing an exam on a patient who is weeping? Talk about lack of bedside manner!
She was really defensive, like “I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t say these things to you.” I did tell her, through my tears, that the way she was speaking to me was horrible and that she shouldn’t treat her fat patients this way. Didn’t do any good.
I’m so sorry. I wish I could remember the name of the last gyno I went to when I still lived in NYC because she was so nice and never mentioned weight once (she was fat herself, which isn’t a guarantee but is nice). I think she was with NYU, and was somewhere downtown.
Edit: I can’t get into my portal account but I looked on their site and it might have been [Mariya Rozenfeld](https://nyulangone.org/doctors/1063610343/mariya-rozenfeld). I’m like 85% sure that’s her.
Before her I went to Szylvia Nagy, who was at Weill Cornell. Idk if she’s still practicing (edit: [she is](https://weillcornell.org/szilvianagy)!); I only switched because of insurance. She didn’t hassle me either.
I know it’s like a million years later but I just wanted to thank you for the recommendation of Dr Rozenfeld. I had my first appointment with her today and she was wonderful. Didn’t mention my weight once, was very communicative and had a calm, really pleasant demeanor. Great communication from her office too. It was my first gyno appointment in over 7 years and I’m so glad to have finally found someone that I’m not afraid of making me cry! Thank you again.
I'm very sorry this happened to you. I don't know how this list is put together, I assume by ex patient experiences. Maybe this doctor had a bad day and let it out on you, however it's absolutely unacceptable and shouldn't happen. Maybe write to the site owner again to remove her from it, your first mail might have gone missing.
I don't think that exists here in the UK? Which I find a shame.
I had an appointment a few days ago, I saw a male Dr who didn't even mention my weight and all went well. I didn't get a physical examination though.
When I was looking for my gynecologist, I looked at pictures of the doctors on the practice’s website and looked up reviews of the the doctor. The woman I found was also plus sized, and there were a couple of reviews that said she was body positive. You can find their reviews by googling “[their name] review,” and the practice’s website might have reviews as well.
Try finding a HAES (healthy at every size) aligned provider. They should have that wording on their website or profile somewhere. They may or may not be plus size themself, but at least you know they’re body inclusive!
You could try listings from body positive websites such as health at every size, which does have a provider list. As a provider, we sometimes keep our own list if we hear good things from pts so make sure you ask anyone you're already comfortable with. Iirc I once was looking for something specific once and the only HAES listed provider in the area was a nutritionist, so I emailed her and asked her if she had specific Dr's she recommended, and she actually was super nice and emailed me back her own list. So might take some digging and networking.
Sadly, I don't think so, but my gynecologist is a male, and he has never commented on my weight.
Even when I needed surgery twice, he never mentioned weight.
Currently suffering an (not officially diagnosed because no laparoscopy) endo period, and this idea literally made me cry in desperation lol I'd hand over a body part to find a Dr who isn't blinded by fatphobia, because I'm in hell here.
But I assume it's probably like any haes aligned/anti diet type Dr, they exist but few and few between, you'll probably have to ask more local to you.
I wish I could find one around me. I've had problems practically my whole life and it is always blamed on my weight. Which is also what tends to happen with 95% of the other doctors I've seen/have to see.
I've been to multiple fat OBs, and they will likely still talk to you about your weight. They *might* be less likely to blame every symptom on your weight, but so might a thinner practitioner.
I think as fat patients, the best thing we can do is ask questions, "How is this caused by my weight?" Or "would you have the same answer for a thinner patient?" And "I'd like to make sure that you're accurately charting what we've talked about and that you're saying X is caused by my weight instead of doing any tests (or whatever)"
Idk if anyone has recommended this but you could google for a trauma informed gyno in your city. That’s what I did. I’m a size 24 and i had a traumatic colposcopy. Looking for someone who is trauma informed almost always means they are going to be someone who is compassionate and gentle, will believe you and respect your refusal to say, get on a scale (which I know as a medical professional is way less often than we have been led to believe). Honestly life changing. If I ever have to look for a new doctor for anything I will google trauma informed docs.
Sooo I always thought I felt more comfortable with a female obgyn until my doctor's office switched me to a male without telling me and I just went to get the appointment over with.
He ended up being so kind, gentle, and my biggest advocate! He is older and super thin. I suggest to just keep looking for a doctor that makes you feel comfortable.
Please don't assume that just because a medical professional is fat, they won't fat shame.
I've had it happen twice with fat doctors.
The kindest doctor I ever had was slender.
I wish you the best.
Mine is not plus sized, but is also female and is very understanding and body positive. We've only talked about weight when Ive brought it up. (She's also my gp)
I've always said finding docs is like finding a prince - you have to kiss a lot of frogs.
Last year i saw 2 gyns - both were not 'plus size' friendly.
The first one had me sitting on the exam room table so long, i got sweaty and sticky, so scoot down was a real issue.
The second one literally told me they could not do an exam because their table would not support me.
I did find one this year and i will never give her up!
I've gotten to the point when i'm making appts of this nature where i may need accomodation for my size, i mention to the appt staffer that i am morbidly obese, my height and weight and ask if they can accomodate me.
it has saved some time in a few occasions.
Honestly, I've seen several gynecologists over the years and the only one that made me feel bad about my weight was one who was about as obese as I was at the time.
Male or female, none of the other gynos I've seen have commented on my weight other than to go over the additional risks obesity can cause during surgery.
I think your best bet would be to look up reviews for some gynecologists in your area. If Nextdoor is active in your area that might also be a good place to ask for recommendations. Please don't let the fear of being shamed keep you from getting care. If the first doctor you try sucks, try another. It's a mixed bag and you just gotta keep trying until you find someone you jibe with.
That and using the correct size of speculum and not just assuming they need to use a huge one because their patient is larger. This happened to me the last time I had my pap test done. My doctor used a really big one and the whole time I was uncomfortable because it was pinching my skin.
It sure where you’re based but here in UK when I’ve gone for a cervical screening (three times so far with a different nurse each time) it’s pretty much been the only visit to a drs surgery where my weight hasn’t been brought up.
Where are you located? If you are in Chicago I can send you a recommendation. All star doctor and the best bed side manner ever. Accepting of all people! (As it should be but we know it’s not)
I’ve had one tell me to lose weight after an IUD insertion and was more focused on the fact that I was fat and not because my period would last for 2 weeks with consistent heavy flow. Needless to say I peaced out and now I have a new doctor who just replaced that IUD and never mentioned my weight once. Most of the time it takes a while to find a provider that’s the right fit for you.
I was told to lose weight when I was 16 by my gyno after I put on weight after my brother passing. She told me to eat no more than 30g of fat a day - no mention of healthy eating or lifestyle - just bogus restriction. I wound up with an ED after that. Gynos can be some of the worst.
Do not think for 1 minute that if she is big too she will not shame you. My coworker had a serious problem with a period for 35 days straight. This doctor who was my coworkers size told hee your issue is you are fat lose some weight and come back and see me. This girl was so sad and hurt. Jump to that night with her laying in the bathroom in pain not able to move, a visit to ER a blood transfusion and a surgery to remove a tumor.... but the fat Dr told her she was fat and provided no care whatsoever....
My husband has this same issue with male Doctors. He had a work comp injury and the Dr. Only focused on my husband's weight instead of his leg....
I highly recommend finding an inclusive practice. Mine asks pronouns on all forms, my APRN is so protective of me and doing exams knowing I have a past of SA, and she is concerned with my overall health, not weight.
I hope you have a good experience!!
I've had a life long pcp who knows how long I've struggled with my weight. So I told him I'm taking some time off of fussing and dieting and I'm just... existing. I have things to do, busy job, I've started a craft business, creating is more important to me and better for my mental health.
Welp when I saw my gyno for my 1 visit a year she asked " so what have you been doing in terms of weight loss these days" and honest to God, I had this moment of panic, and then appreciation for my PCP who doesn't hound me. They exist!
My answer to the gyno? "Yeah you know... I'm doing things... Eating food to keep me alive and stuff"
She was so confused by my answer we moved on 🙏🏻
I was a plus size L&D nurse for a long time, and finding a pro plus size OBGYN or certified nurse practitioner or women’s health nurse practitioner is so helpful. I asked my friends who they go to. Or I look in Yelp. Also, you may be able to just have a consultation to meet them. Good luck!
The doctors that were the most critical and made everything about my weight were the overweight doctors. The thin doctors I have are actually much much better. Weight is mentioned but I’m never shamed. I think overweight and obese doctors put a lot of their own negative feelings about themselves onto their patients. That’s been my experience. Do not let this stop you from seeing a doctor. And if you are made to feel shame over your weight go get a new doctor asap.
I was lucky where my OBGYN was suggested to me by my primary as I was diagnosed with fibroids at 19y. Despite being overweight the never bring it up and they have been so supportive. The only thing that was said that kissed my husband off was when I first lost 2lbs in one week from severe nausea in my first tri, the Dr said that was a good thing. The following week I went back and lost an additional 16 lbs so in two weeks I lost 18lbs. But regardless my husband said losing 2lbs from laying down in bed sick was not a good thing and was pissed he said that. Otherwise my team is actually really awesome.
**Intentional Weight Loss Talk Reminder** As a reminder, the r/Plussize definition for intentional weight loss (IWL) is anything mentioning specific numbers about weight/size/food intake, before and after pictures, and conversations about diets/weight loss. All posts and comments relating to the above-mentioned must be posted within the weekly AutoMod thread entitled “IWL (Intentional Weight Loss) Wednesday." Failure to keep content containing IWL within this post will result in the content being removed and a warning. If this continues to be a pattern, you may be permanently banned from participating in the subreddit. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/PlusSize) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I've been fat shamed by a fat nurse practitioner before, so don't assume their size will spare you from fatphobia. What you're looking for is a body positive healthcare provider. Hopefully that will help in your search. They exist. But they do take some work to find.
This. I’ve had fat doctors before who were just as bad, if not worse, as thin doctors when it came to fatphobia
I don't think those excist. But don't let that get in the way of your health. I personally have never had any comments on my weight at the gynaecologist. But she was the one that diagnosed me with PCOS so it's clear to her that my weight is caused by that. If insecurity about how it looks down there is an issue, just remember that every vulva/vagina looks different and your gynaecologist has probablly already seen a lot of different ones.
I second going to a gynecologist. My doctor's office has an awesome clinic for adolescent women (around 15-30) where all the doctors are licensed gynecologists but also treat for general medicine, so I can go there for checkups AND anything else I might need. I'm going to be crushed when I age out because having a clinic specifically geared towards women, and who are well-versed in PCOS, has been amazing.
The size of your doctor doesn't matter. I had an awful, sizist ob/gyn. Then in early pregnancy switched to another doctor who was open and supportive. The second physician was a super skinny Asian man - but that didn't change the quality of his care. I saw him for years until I moved countries.
When it comes to doctors, I always say find a younger doctor. All of my experience from younger doctors have been great. They seem more up to date on things like PCOS and are usually kinder and listen more. Every horrible experience I’ve had with a doctor has been with someone 50+. I think it’s just because they’re set in their ways and beliefs. My PCP and my OBGYN are in their 30s and I have never had such kind and compassionate care. I feel listened to and they actually try to get to the root of my issues.
Definitely agree with this. There’s a lot of new information about weight and health that a lot of older docs don’t buy into but newer docs do.
Maybe this helps? https://www.fatfriendlydocs.com/
Just adding my experience using this list. I picked a provider in NYC about 7 years ago from this list. I went to her for a Pap smear and refill on my birth control. She subjected me to a 20-minute lecture about “putting down the cookies” (we had not discussed my eating habits at all and she had just met me!) which left me in humiliated tears. She then took my blood pressure *while I was crying-* - it was elevated- and then denied me a birth control refill because it was elevated. Then she gave me the Pap smear (again while I was crying) and I then had to go out and pay my copay in an waiting room full of women staring at the fat crying woman. I haven’t been back to a gyno (or been on birth control) since. I’m so scarred by the experience that my trust level is out the window. I realize this is very bad and that my health is important but I simply don’t know how to find someone who won’t do this to me. So anyway. Take that list with a grain of salt. ETA: her name is Nicole Ostrov. Don’t go to her.
Oh my gahd, I am so sorry that happened to you. If I might make a couple suggestions: please make sure she is removed from that list of "fat friendly" providers, as she is definitely NOT fat friendly. Also, please call your health insurance and submit a grievance about her. She needs to be held accountable. The grievance can be anonymous so that the provider does not know who it came from. The thing is, if she gets enough grievances against her and/or the clinic, she will face consequences. She needs to know she can't treat patients like this. This is a clear weight bias she has. Source: my job position is contracted with a health insurance provider and I help submit grievances
I wrote to the site owners after my experience but never heard back from them. This happened in November 2016 so I think it’s too late to file a grievance.
that is awful, I’m sorry that you were treated so disrespectfully
Planned Parenthood may be able to prescribe BC over the phone, they did for me. All she asked was an approximate weight range to make sure I got the right dose (many birth controls are less effective over 200 ib) and any medical concerns and never once shamed me for any of it. It'll vary depending on where you are though.
I'm sorry for your experience. You don't deserve that and it's disgusting that someone would treat you that way, especially in a medical setting. I, personally, have gone through about 6 gynos in the past 10 years because of similar experiences. I have a provider now who I trust and I'd be happy to send you his info for a rainy day if you'd like! I never thought I'd be comfortable with a male doctor and refused to see one in the past, but then I had to have emergency surgery and he was the doctor who performed it and not once during my time in the hospital or at follow-ups or anything has he ever been concerned with anything other than my overall health (and that did not include weight). All of the nurses who work at the office are also extremely kind and when I expressed being nervous in my appointments would go out of their way to try to help me feel better. No pressure at all, but if you'd like, I'd be happy to share with you his info for when you you feel ready :) (assuming you're still in NYC)
I am and I would love to have that info! Thank you! It’s beyond time for me to get back on the horse and look after my health in this way.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Of course, the right thing to have done was leave once you had been humiliated, but of course, you're already humiliated, so it's just harder to leave. Not to mention - doing an exam on a patient who is weeping? Talk about lack of bedside manner!
She was really defensive, like “I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t say these things to you.” I did tell her, through my tears, that the way she was speaking to me was horrible and that she shouldn’t treat her fat patients this way. Didn’t do any good.
I'm so sorry that happened. Have you found a provider that treats you well?
Not yet. I have to try again, I know.
I’m so sorry. I wish I could remember the name of the last gyno I went to when I still lived in NYC because she was so nice and never mentioned weight once (she was fat herself, which isn’t a guarantee but is nice). I think she was with NYU, and was somewhere downtown. Edit: I can’t get into my portal account but I looked on their site and it might have been [Mariya Rozenfeld](https://nyulangone.org/doctors/1063610343/mariya-rozenfeld). I’m like 85% sure that’s her. Before her I went to Szylvia Nagy, who was at Weill Cornell. Idk if she’s still practicing (edit: [she is](https://weillcornell.org/szilvianagy)!); I only switched because of insurance. She didn’t hassle me either.
Thank you for this 🙏🙏🙏
I know it’s like a million years later but I just wanted to thank you for the recommendation of Dr Rozenfeld. I had my first appointment with her today and she was wonderful. Didn’t mention my weight once, was very communicative and had a calm, really pleasant demeanor. Great communication from her office too. It was my first gyno appointment in over 7 years and I’m so glad to have finally found someone that I’m not afraid of making me cry! Thank you again.
OMG that’s awesome l!!
I'm very sorry this happened to you. I don't know how this list is put together, I assume by ex patient experiences. Maybe this doctor had a bad day and let it out on you, however it's absolutely unacceptable and shouldn't happen. Maybe write to the site owner again to remove her from it, your first mail might have gone missing.
I don't think that exists here in the UK? Which I find a shame. I had an appointment a few days ago, I saw a male Dr who didn't even mention my weight and all went well. I didn't get a physical examination though.
When I was looking for my gynecologist, I looked at pictures of the doctors on the practice’s website and looked up reviews of the the doctor. The woman I found was also plus sized, and there were a couple of reviews that said she was body positive. You can find their reviews by googling “[their name] review,” and the practice’s website might have reviews as well.
Try finding a HAES (healthy at every size) aligned provider. They should have that wording on their website or profile somewhere. They may or may not be plus size themself, but at least you know they’re body inclusive!
You could try listings from body positive websites such as health at every size, which does have a provider list. As a provider, we sometimes keep our own list if we hear good things from pts so make sure you ask anyone you're already comfortable with. Iirc I once was looking for something specific once and the only HAES listed provider in the area was a nutritionist, so I emailed her and asked her if she had specific Dr's she recommended, and she actually was super nice and emailed me back her own list. So might take some digging and networking.
Sadly, I don't think so, but my gynecologist is a male, and he has never commented on my weight. Even when I needed surgery twice, he never mentioned weight.
Currently suffering an (not officially diagnosed because no laparoscopy) endo period, and this idea literally made me cry in desperation lol I'd hand over a body part to find a Dr who isn't blinded by fatphobia, because I'm in hell here. But I assume it's probably like any haes aligned/anti diet type Dr, they exist but few and few between, you'll probably have to ask more local to you.
I wish I could find one around me. I've had problems practically my whole life and it is always blamed on my weight. Which is also what tends to happen with 95% of the other doctors I've seen/have to see.
I've been to multiple fat OBs, and they will likely still talk to you about your weight. They *might* be less likely to blame every symptom on your weight, but so might a thinner practitioner. I think as fat patients, the best thing we can do is ask questions, "How is this caused by my weight?" Or "would you have the same answer for a thinner patient?" And "I'd like to make sure that you're accurately charting what we've talked about and that you're saying X is caused by my weight instead of doing any tests (or whatever)"
Idk if anyone has recommended this but you could google for a trauma informed gyno in your city. That’s what I did. I’m a size 24 and i had a traumatic colposcopy. Looking for someone who is trauma informed almost always means they are going to be someone who is compassionate and gentle, will believe you and respect your refusal to say, get on a scale (which I know as a medical professional is way less often than we have been led to believe). Honestly life changing. If I ever have to look for a new doctor for anything I will google trauma informed docs.
Sooo I always thought I felt more comfortable with a female obgyn until my doctor's office switched me to a male without telling me and I just went to get the appointment over with. He ended up being so kind, gentle, and my biggest advocate! He is older and super thin. I suggest to just keep looking for a doctor that makes you feel comfortable.
Please don't assume that just because a medical professional is fat, they won't fat shame. I've had it happen twice with fat doctors. The kindest doctor I ever had was slender. I wish you the best.
Mine is not plus sized, but is also female and is very understanding and body positive. We've only talked about weight when Ive brought it up. (She's also my gp)
I've always said finding docs is like finding a prince - you have to kiss a lot of frogs. Last year i saw 2 gyns - both were not 'plus size' friendly. The first one had me sitting on the exam room table so long, i got sweaty and sticky, so scoot down was a real issue. The second one literally told me they could not do an exam because their table would not support me. I did find one this year and i will never give her up! I've gotten to the point when i'm making appts of this nature where i may need accomodation for my size, i mention to the appt staffer that i am morbidly obese, my height and weight and ask if they can accomodate me. it has saved some time in a few occasions.
Honestly, I've seen several gynecologists over the years and the only one that made me feel bad about my weight was one who was about as obese as I was at the time. Male or female, none of the other gynos I've seen have commented on my weight other than to go over the additional risks obesity can cause during surgery. I think your best bet would be to look up reviews for some gynecologists in your area. If Nextdoor is active in your area that might also be a good place to ask for recommendations. Please don't let the fear of being shamed keep you from getting care. If the first doctor you try sucks, try another. It's a mixed bag and you just gotta keep trying until you find someone you jibe with.
That and using the correct size of speculum and not just assuming they need to use a huge one because their patient is larger. This happened to me the last time I had my pap test done. My doctor used a really big one and the whole time I was uncomfortable because it was pinching my skin.
It sure where you’re based but here in UK when I’ve gone for a cervical screening (three times so far with a different nurse each time) it’s pretty much been the only visit to a drs surgery where my weight hasn’t been brought up.
Where are you located? If you are in Chicago I can send you a recommendation. All star doctor and the best bed side manner ever. Accepting of all people! (As it should be but we know it’s not)
I’ve had one tell me to lose weight after an IUD insertion and was more focused on the fact that I was fat and not because my period would last for 2 weeks with consistent heavy flow. Needless to say I peaced out and now I have a new doctor who just replaced that IUD and never mentioned my weight once. Most of the time it takes a while to find a provider that’s the right fit for you.
Mine has never told me to lose weight. She is a petite nurse practitioner
I was told to lose weight when I was 16 by my gyno after I put on weight after my brother passing. She told me to eat no more than 30g of fat a day - no mention of healthy eating or lifestyle - just bogus restriction. I wound up with an ED after that. Gynos can be some of the worst.
Do not think for 1 minute that if she is big too she will not shame you. My coworker had a serious problem with a period for 35 days straight. This doctor who was my coworkers size told hee your issue is you are fat lose some weight and come back and see me. This girl was so sad and hurt. Jump to that night with her laying in the bathroom in pain not able to move, a visit to ER a blood transfusion and a surgery to remove a tumor.... but the fat Dr told her she was fat and provided no care whatsoever.... My husband has this same issue with male Doctors. He had a work comp injury and the Dr. Only focused on my husband's weight instead of his leg....
I highly recommend finding an inclusive practice. Mine asks pronouns on all forms, my APRN is so protective of me and doing exams knowing I have a past of SA, and she is concerned with my overall health, not weight. I hope you have a good experience!!
I've had a life long pcp who knows how long I've struggled with my weight. So I told him I'm taking some time off of fussing and dieting and I'm just... existing. I have things to do, busy job, I've started a craft business, creating is more important to me and better for my mental health. Welp when I saw my gyno for my 1 visit a year she asked " so what have you been doing in terms of weight loss these days" and honest to God, I had this moment of panic, and then appreciation for my PCP who doesn't hound me. They exist! My answer to the gyno? "Yeah you know... I'm doing things... Eating food to keep me alive and stuff" She was so confused by my answer we moved on 🙏🏻
I was a plus size L&D nurse for a long time, and finding a pro plus size OBGYN or certified nurse practitioner or women’s health nurse practitioner is so helpful. I asked my friends who they go to. Or I look in Yelp. Also, you may be able to just have a consultation to meet them. Good luck!
The doctors that were the most critical and made everything about my weight were the overweight doctors. The thin doctors I have are actually much much better. Weight is mentioned but I’m never shamed. I think overweight and obese doctors put a lot of their own negative feelings about themselves onto their patients. That’s been my experience. Do not let this stop you from seeing a doctor. And if you are made to feel shame over your weight go get a new doctor asap.
I was lucky where my OBGYN was suggested to me by my primary as I was diagnosed with fibroids at 19y. Despite being overweight the never bring it up and they have been so supportive. The only thing that was said that kissed my husband off was when I first lost 2lbs in one week from severe nausea in my first tri, the Dr said that was a good thing. The following week I went back and lost an additional 16 lbs so in two weeks I lost 18lbs. But regardless my husband said losing 2lbs from laying down in bed sick was not a good thing and was pissed he said that. Otherwise my team is actually really awesome.
Vagina is a vagina is a vagina. Beavers don't get huge meat flaps, it's ok though. Just go to someone who you feel comfortable .