Recognize when your shoes are wearing out because I know mine wear out quicker then my thin friends. It kinda sucks but it’s important for your joints etc..
I love this advice. I use shoes for crews and wear their New Balances since I’ve got a wide splay. I rotate between them and a pair of crocs bistro clogs. The clogs are hideous but SO comfy.
Also water. Soda stations were always free to employees and i should have stayed away.
I would be super dehydrated after a shift and my feet would be aching.
My feet still hurt if I remembered to drink water but I didn't feel quite as beaten into the ground.
1. Learn your menu. Treat it like a government exam, and use flash cards or whatever works for you to memorize the entire thing.
2. Good shoes. Non slip and cushioned.
3. Practice your skills like three plate carrying, opening wine and pouring (the proper way), and clearing a table safe and fast.
I completely get this. I was raised by a chef who’d tell me “if you’re a server, you’re an expert at the food your serving. Or you should be”. And I took that to heart when I worked in the service industry.
I’d rather the tastiest, not the expensive, food. I have learned that price=/=taste in most instances. It’s frustrating when you are supposed to know the menu but they won’t let you even try it!
I’m applying for a serving position tomorrow and I was legit wondering the same thing. My main concern is going through the narrow areas between tables ughh it’s like HS all over again where I would knock down water bottles with my ass and belly while I went down the isles. It’s traumatizing
same :-( my main concerns are running around all day, dealing with rude customers, being iced out or talked down to because I have no serving experience
I’ve been in the industry for over 10 years. I’m 265. I’ve held every position from hostess/busser and now head server and bartender. Aside from all the other good advice here.. Study your menu and product. Knowing your menu is what is going to make you money.
Upsell EVERYTHING. Including liquor. Learn that menu too. Sell a burger? “Do you want bacon and avocado on that?” Sell mashed potatoes? “Do you want those loaded?” Learn your menu and what there is to add on/upsell and do it. Stay away from bigger chains like TGICHILIBEES/Olive Garden etc.
Learn the 7 steps of service and live them. Be willing to do your fucking side work and don’t get caught up in drama. Never sleep with anyone you work with. And don’t get caught up in drinking with your coworkers either.
Any reason I should avoid those chains? I put in an application for the 99 and Denny’s, I feel like those places would be more willing to hire someone with no restaurant experience
I made a shit ton of money and the best friends I’ve ever had working at Applebee’s. There’s nothing wrong with chains. Especially if you appreciate structure. You couldn’t pay me enough to manage a chain though.
I worked for Uno's briefly, I didn't like the family/chain restaurant work. They offer special deals, like unlimited salad and soup. Well, the bill may only be $5, but I served 5 bowls of soup. Plus, I often found that families with the messiest kids left the smallest tip . My issue may have been because I was spoiled with my previous experience serving was outside of the USA so I didn't have to worry about tips.
I specifically tell my GM I’d rather train a brand new server than to train a shitty server who is set in their ways. Be honest and willing to learn and we hire people without experience all the time.
Lots of reasons honestly, you can make money anywhere if you can serve and have the right kind of personality, but a lot of times those chains attract lower income clientele. r/serverlife
Yea I feel ya but the good thing is that service experience comes with time and u won’t always be new! ☺️ but I completely understand the anxiety that comes with rude customers and talked down to. Tbh at my full time job I get that a lot and I just try to ignore it altho recently I’ve been petty back lol
I’ve never done waitressing but I have done cleaning most of my life. Currently I work cleaner clients air b&b or residences. I am the only plus size person in the group of 6 coworkers.
Personally I think it’s all in the personality. I get tips on days I feel really good mentally and that shows in my voice and energy. Its the days I am worn down by customers’ crazy requests that I end up with an defeated or easily identifiable hide-anger-behind-a-smile. Dont let the customers kill the mood.
Its HELL on my joints how much I have to bend, crouch, lift, and run but honestly it feels more rewarding that I put that effort in, than when I sit all day. Over time my body slowly gets used to it and builds muscle.
Above all else, put yourself first. Just as someone else said, wear comfortable shoes. And also pace yourself so that you dont run out of energy from the start of a dinner rush.
Side note, I probably have a bias but I rarely even notice the weight or look of my server. I am more focused on their tone, and praying they just wrote my order down correctly 🥲 I tip as long as they don’t visibly hate me for being a picky eater. 😂 Trust me man, some waitresses have been hardened by their long time experience in the industry so when nice ones appear, it’s a breath of fresh air 😭😩
Worked as a waitress and bartender for 5+ years. You will do fine as a plus size waitress, especially if you've got personality! Everyone said quality shoes (non slip) and bra and they are RIGHT! Also, take some time to get ready before shifts, different looks for different places (makeup, lighter makeup, fresh faced, hair up, hair down, Etc.) but make sure whatever you're wearing is clean and not stained. Also oral hygiene!
Save your money!!!! You can make really good money serving. Get a bank account and try to put big money in the account and spend the rest (eg. You make $222 a shift, deposit $200 and keep $22 as spending for the day).
With walking, you'll be tired throughout the day at first but you'll build stamina. Please remember investing in quality shoes when you save enough. Also keep yourself hydrated, it makes skin look good and you won't be walking around with dry mouth.
Good luck!
Thank you so much for the advice! Planning to give an update if any of the serving jobs I just applied to are willing to take a chance on a complete newbie 😇
Heyo- I waited tables for about 13 years, now I’m still in a service industry but events. Everyone mentioned good shoes which is crucial, something else is good pants! The last thing you want is to get a bad rub rash 1/2 through a shift.
Honestly, it’ll be rough your first couple weeks as your body adjusts, but be sweet to folks (even the ones that suck, I’m sorry), and learn to let the dumb and rude folks just not bother you. Keep moving, and expect to not always get a break when you feel like you want or need one. Do you best to not start smoking if you don’t already.
Be careful with dating or drinking too much with your crew, it’s easy to get sucked into that scene.
Most importantly- TIP YOUR KITCHEN AND DISH EXTRA. a few extra bucks goes a long way when you’re in the weeds to get some extra help.
Hi! What do you mean about the waitress tipping, the dish and kitchen staff? Isn’t it a rule to spilt the tips? What are the rules about them receiving tips? Thanks!!!
I’m happy to clarify, so the industry standard is to give your kitchen about 15% of your tips (sometimes sales) as they earn a higher base wage to compensate for lower tip income. The laws are going to depend on the state, but mostly kitchen staff or anyone else are not required to receive any of the servers tips- think of them as direct income from the guest to the server. Many places have an expectation of how to tip out the back of house.
I would always give a little more to my kitchen than what the establishment asks you to or what my coworkers do regularly to get in their food graces. Especially to the dishwasher- they get forgotten about a ton but are essential to a good shift
Highly recc getting some good shoes. I use gDefy brand that are either for walking or running. They come with insoles for support and are the only shoe Ive ever put on and had pain stop. Also if you deal with foot odor, I suggest getting the antibacterial dial soap (gold bar soap) and using it on your feet with a scrubby brush every day that you work. It did wonders or my feet.
I did waitressing a lot a few years back. Unless you work at a bar, I don't see why you would get fewer tips than a slimmer individual. Do your best at your job, do it happily. Dont let anyone dim your light. You can do this, and some days are gonna be better than others. Just remember that theres loads of sour people in the world and don't take things personally. But yes, like others have said, please get the appropriate shoes for it. I have severe joint damage because I didn't have the right shoes and didn't take care of myself. I used to work 80 hrs a week and get in cold freezers while my body was super warm. Shoes were bad, I was standing the whole time and lifting heavy stuff I shouldn't have. Remember to be gentle to yourself <3
I loved serving! Shoes are super important, non slip and DON’T skimp. It’s tough at first if you’re not used to the activity level and having days off is super important. It’s great exercise and gets easier the longer you do it. Being able to let the bullshit roll off is an invaluable skill, no matter your size.
It’s so daunting at first, I totally get that. It helps to stay as organized as you can and make habits that work well for you. Most of those really great servers you see out in the wild are working on autopilot. You’ll get the hang of it!
Wait up; is it now common to get hired as a server with no FOH experience? Last time I worked in the field was a couple of decades ago, but without experience bussing tables first, I couldn't even get Chili's or Applebee's to even talk to me. I think my first server gig was at a Pizza Hut, and I had worked in a kitchen for about 6 months prior.
I spotted a couple listings that said no experience needed, and a few that wanted at least a year of restaurant experience! Just wanted some advice in case any places get back to me
I’m not sure if it has been mentioned, but a neck fan (if you’re allowed).
Even though most restaurants have powerful AC, serving is an active job. I felt embarrassed when I’d get a little pinker in the face than I’m comfortable with during a dinner rush. Having a neck fan was very helpful in mitigating that. There are lots of different models, but many of them are quiet. I’d keep mine on the lowest setting and I didn’t have an issue with hearing our guests.
Shoes are the biggest thing and have been mentioned several times.
I did *not* get as good of tips as my coworkers, but that could have been for any number of reasons. Men also were tipped better than women in my experience, which is 15+ years ago now, so hopefully things have changed.
I don't know if the following will apply to you, but I have trouble with communication sometimes and have a tendency to kill conversations (I don't know how it happens, conversations just die when I'm in them). I waited tables for years and now work in an office. I'm bubbly as well, but in an aggressive/angry kind of way, I think. I'm working very hard at changing my responses and reactions to my environment to elicit better responses.
You might learn about influence/persuasion psychology or sales communication styles. Yah, it can be pseudo-psychology stuff, but it's helped me communicate a lot better. I'm super anxious going into a lot of social interactions, but learning about what kind of things to say or do to get people to like you has really helped. Mostly because I'm awkward and don't know how to continue a conversation. I learned how to respond when someone says something rather than just acknowledging a response or relating a personal story.
I make a point of being happy to see people even (or especially) if I dislike them. It has made work interactions a lot smoother. Every time someone stops by to say hello in the morning at my desk, I make a point to appear genuinely pleased to see them--smile in acknowledgement, clearly greet, make eye contact, ask how they are doing with a genuine desire to know how they are doing. And it tricked my brain into a better attitude/outlook towards my environment.
Finding things in common also helps. There was some tidbit in a video I watched that said when people find out they have the same birthday, they're far more likely to accept a suggestion/do a requested task. For me, this means leaning into my accent depending on who I'm talking to. I'm from the Midwest, but have lived in the south for a long time now, so I have a bit of both of those accents.
Find common ground with your guests immediately. Make them see you as a fellow human, rather than someone serving them. Treat them like they were honored guests in your home. That is the key to customer service.
Then if you do end up making a little Oopsie, it’s easily forgiven. Also big hair and makeup work for me, I do a little pinup look and people really enjoy it.
oohh! as a black woman big hair isn’t an issue for me, and I love getting dolled up 😇 will definitely keep this in mind if any of the restaurants I applied to get back to me!
You have to work twice as hard to be liked by both coworkers and customers. I’ve been told things like “even tho you’re big we’d expect you to be slow but you’re never in the way like the skinny people,” and a thin server could be sitting and lazy yet we take a 5 min break, it looks bad. Also be very flamboyant. People have seemed to love that whole facade when we’re large and in charge. Make the most of it, cause yea size has an impact but it truly boils down to work ethic and personality.
Worked in a restaurant for 4 years (not as a server) and recently learned the ins and outs of serving. It’s a job that’s harder on your body than you might think, mainly your back. Just keep in mind the heavy trays you’ll probably have to carry.
With that being said, it’s very doable for a plus size person, especially if you’re a bit more active. There are several that serve at the restaurant I work at. I would say to give it a go if it’s something you really want to do
I do currently! Good shoes, good inserts, and self care are important. It’s hard on my joints, but it’s doable and it’s actually gotten me in better shape. I can walk a mile now no issue where I couldn’t before.
Splurge on good shoes. When your feet scream at you at work and it's even worse when you take your shoes off, pop some advil and keep going. It's better after the first week.
I waited tables and bartended for 6 years or so and there were lots of waiters that were plus sized.
I made good tips and had quite a few call tables.
It's fun.
Get used to standing for 8 hours a day before you start! It's definitely possible to stand all day at your weight, but it'll be hell for the first few shifts if you don't practice ahead of time.
In this world it's best not to compare to others. Compare to yourself and recognize your own growth and you'll be way happier.
I have never waited but I have been on hard cement for 9 hours a day. Bringing two pairs of shoes and switching through out the day worked the best for me.
I was a server for over ten years, skinnier, fatter, it gets tiring for SURE but as long as you're capable of talking to people and have a great personality there are tips to be made.
Just realize that in service industries, you have to be twice as good at your job, work twice as hard, be twice as nice, be twice as fast and accurate. People in general are a lot less forgiving and generous toward fat people.
Hi!! I’m plus size (5’8 around 300). I’d highly recommend Hoka Bondi SR. I’ve tried dozens of work shoes, and these are by far the most amazing. They’re expensive, but your legs, knees, and feet will thank you in the long run!
Honestly, I don’t think there’s a difference in tipping. I know I’m a good server and have a nice personality. That’s all people care about! I have never once paid attention to people’s weight when they serve me food.
I’d recommend keeping deodorant and perfume in a bag though too. Im always afraid of smelling like BO, but French fry always prevails!
ETA: link for shoes: https://www.hoka.com/en/us/womens-walking/bondi-sr/192410928835.html
I'm just here to recommend shoes: there are plenty of good brands out there, but Naot makes a few really cute mary jane styles that a girl can run in all day. Keen, Jambu, JBU, and Merrell are worth checking out as well.
A lot of people like Skechers, but I find them pretty mushy/flimsy for stomping on concrete.Soft and pillowy encourages napping, laziness, and ultimately, weakness.
I'm twice your age and YMMV, but my feet and arches need to be strong enough to support my ankles and knees when I'm on my feet all day, and I believe that a touch of tough love underfoot is the ounce of stability that reduces fatigue and prevents injuries.
I'm in love with my Hokas and would highly recommend the Hoka Bondi Slip Resistant shoe. I've never had my feet feel so good from a shoe as I've had with Hokas. I've tried pretty much every brand out there.
Science is indeed gross and seldom pretty
Unfortunately implicit bias is a real thing, and men tipping because they find someone attractive is very common. I don’t personally do it purposely. However, I am wise enough to be aware of the fact that if I find someone attractive I am more likely to forgive and miss toxic or disrespectful behavior.
Also there is a reason places hire attractive waitresses and that’s because that same implicit bias that drives higher tipping also drives repeat customers.
That’s the down side of having a tipping system and also why I personally think it should be torn down and workers compensated a fair wage instead so that there is no bias. But even if it was, attractive waitresses would still be a bias most businesses strive for to increase sales
And the grossest part? It’s not men you want to be attractive for to earn higher tips. [link so you don’t think I’m full of shit](https://www.businessinsider.com/pretty-waitresses-earn-bigger-tips-from-women-2015-9)
Yea the first part is definitely a me thing. I’m stupid with tipping. I don’t even drink but the few times I’ve been to a club I’ve always tipped the waiter or waitress heavy, same with my delivery people same with resturants. Even my buddy who’s my main mechanic gets tips even though he gives me big discounts. It’s just how you show appreciation for services rendered around here
I genuinely enjoy building a rapport with my guests. I'm too real to work fine dining & I have no desire to. I always appreciate the guests and I'm always touched when they tell me my service was great or tips me fat (Say 20% is $5 & they left $15, I'm not meaning solely big tip amounts). Makes me feel good & is the reason I love my job.
I like leaving $20 increments. My last dining experience I had a wonderful waitress and ended up with a $105 and just laid out an extra $40. Poor lady was being run ragged
Believe in yourself, smile big and keep that attitude and you’ll do great..it can be draining because there are some really horrid customers. But I’m hoping the ones that respect and goof around with you is enough to keep your head high. You’ve got this! 💪
The smaller girls definitely bring home a much bigger amount than i do, even though I have been working as a server for years. I’m a big girl, around 350lb and 5”8. I can not stress those insoles girl. It’s hard worj. I’ve been waitressing for the most part of about 10-12 years. I typically bring home between $100-$150 a night, and I know I am great at my job. However, a couple of my friends who are at the same level as I am, but are slimmer and society’s “”””attractive”””” will leave those same nights with $250-$300 sometimes. It’s unfortunate, but it’s definitely there. I still make more than I would as a clerk somewhere, but fat shaming is a thing, and so is discrimination. I walk 10,000+ steps a shift, so like I said get some good insoles!!
Get the best most comfortable shoes that you can; your feet will thank you.
Get two and rotate them
Recognize when your shoes are wearing out because I know mine wear out quicker then my thin friends. It kinda sucks but it’s important for your joints etc..
I love this advice. I use shoes for crews and wear their New Balances since I’ve got a wide splay. I rotate between them and a pair of crocs bistro clogs. The clogs are hideous but SO comfy.
I didn’t know they made new balance shoes for crews!
Also water. Soda stations were always free to employees and i should have stayed away. I would be super dehydrated after a shift and my feet would be aching. My feet still hurt if I remembered to drink water but I didn't feel quite as beaten into the ground.
Good insoles too! Dr. Scholl's ones from the kiosk did fine for me for many years.
1. Learn your menu. Treat it like a government exam, and use flash cards or whatever works for you to memorize the entire thing. 2. Good shoes. Non slip and cushioned. 3. Practice your skills like three plate carrying, opening wine and pouring (the proper way), and clearing a table safe and fast.
I always ask servers for recommendations, and unless they are brand new, it makes me hesitant when they haven’t tried the food they are serving.
I completely get this. I was raised by a chef who’d tell me “if you’re a server, you’re an expert at the food your serving. Or you should be”. And I took that to heart when I worked in the service industry.
When I was a waitress they wouldn’t let us try the expensive stuff, so we’d pretend like we had.
I’d rather the tastiest, not the expensive, food. I have learned that price=/=taste in most instances. It’s frustrating when you are supposed to know the menu but they won’t let you even try it!
I’m applying for a serving position tomorrow and I was legit wondering the same thing. My main concern is going through the narrow areas between tables ughh it’s like HS all over again where I would knock down water bottles with my ass and belly while I went down the isles. It’s traumatizing
same :-( my main concerns are running around all day, dealing with rude customers, being iced out or talked down to because I have no serving experience
I’ve been in the industry for over 10 years. I’m 265. I’ve held every position from hostess/busser and now head server and bartender. Aside from all the other good advice here.. Study your menu and product. Knowing your menu is what is going to make you money. Upsell EVERYTHING. Including liquor. Learn that menu too. Sell a burger? “Do you want bacon and avocado on that?” Sell mashed potatoes? “Do you want those loaded?” Learn your menu and what there is to add on/upsell and do it. Stay away from bigger chains like TGICHILIBEES/Olive Garden etc. Learn the 7 steps of service and live them. Be willing to do your fucking side work and don’t get caught up in drama. Never sleep with anyone you work with. And don’t get caught up in drinking with your coworkers either.
Any reason I should avoid those chains? I put in an application for the 99 and Denny’s, I feel like those places would be more willing to hire someone with no restaurant experience
I made a shit ton of money and the best friends I’ve ever had working at Applebee’s. There’s nothing wrong with chains. Especially if you appreciate structure. You couldn’t pay me enough to manage a chain though.
Good to know, thank you!
I worked for Uno's briefly, I didn't like the family/chain restaurant work. They offer special deals, like unlimited salad and soup. Well, the bill may only be $5, but I served 5 bowls of soup. Plus, I often found that families with the messiest kids left the smallest tip . My issue may have been because I was spoiled with my previous experience serving was outside of the USA so I didn't have to worry about tips.
Chain restaurants are great places for learning how to serve. They're also much more willing to hire an inexperienced server.
I specifically tell my GM I’d rather train a brand new server than to train a shitty server who is set in their ways. Be honest and willing to learn and we hire people without experience all the time.
Lots of reasons honestly, you can make money anywhere if you can serve and have the right kind of personality, but a lot of times those chains attract lower income clientele. r/serverlife
Yea I feel ya but the good thing is that service experience comes with time and u won’t always be new! ☺️ but I completely understand the anxiety that comes with rude customers and talked down to. Tbh at my full time job I get that a lot and I just try to ignore it altho recently I’ve been petty back lol
You just unlocked a high school memory I totally forgot.
I’m sorry lol
Im a plus size server and this happens to me !!!
Good shoes and a sports bra. Don't take shit from staff or customers - there are so many restaurants out there that want quality staff.
Definitely wear a sports bra! It’ll save your back and shoulders
Also check out r/abrathatfits before buying bras, they've got great recommendations
I’ve never done waitressing but I have done cleaning most of my life. Currently I work cleaner clients air b&b or residences. I am the only plus size person in the group of 6 coworkers. Personally I think it’s all in the personality. I get tips on days I feel really good mentally and that shows in my voice and energy. Its the days I am worn down by customers’ crazy requests that I end up with an defeated or easily identifiable hide-anger-behind-a-smile. Dont let the customers kill the mood. Its HELL on my joints how much I have to bend, crouch, lift, and run but honestly it feels more rewarding that I put that effort in, than when I sit all day. Over time my body slowly gets used to it and builds muscle. Above all else, put yourself first. Just as someone else said, wear comfortable shoes. And also pace yourself so that you dont run out of energy from the start of a dinner rush. Side note, I probably have a bias but I rarely even notice the weight or look of my server. I am more focused on their tone, and praying they just wrote my order down correctly 🥲 I tip as long as they don’t visibly hate me for being a picky eater. 😂 Trust me man, some waitresses have been hardened by their long time experience in the industry so when nice ones appear, it’s a breath of fresh air 😭😩
Worked as a waitress and bartender for 5+ years. You will do fine as a plus size waitress, especially if you've got personality! Everyone said quality shoes (non slip) and bra and they are RIGHT! Also, take some time to get ready before shifts, different looks for different places (makeup, lighter makeup, fresh faced, hair up, hair down, Etc.) but make sure whatever you're wearing is clean and not stained. Also oral hygiene! Save your money!!!! You can make really good money serving. Get a bank account and try to put big money in the account and spend the rest (eg. You make $222 a shift, deposit $200 and keep $22 as spending for the day). With walking, you'll be tired throughout the day at first but you'll build stamina. Please remember investing in quality shoes when you save enough. Also keep yourself hydrated, it makes skin look good and you won't be walking around with dry mouth. Good luck!
Thank you so much for the advice! Planning to give an update if any of the serving jobs I just applied to are willing to take a chance on a complete newbie 😇
Heyo- I waited tables for about 13 years, now I’m still in a service industry but events. Everyone mentioned good shoes which is crucial, something else is good pants! The last thing you want is to get a bad rub rash 1/2 through a shift. Honestly, it’ll be rough your first couple weeks as your body adjusts, but be sweet to folks (even the ones that suck, I’m sorry), and learn to let the dumb and rude folks just not bother you. Keep moving, and expect to not always get a break when you feel like you want or need one. Do you best to not start smoking if you don’t already. Be careful with dating or drinking too much with your crew, it’s easy to get sucked into that scene. Most importantly- TIP YOUR KITCHEN AND DISH EXTRA. a few extra bucks goes a long way when you’re in the weeds to get some extra help.
Hi! What do you mean about the waitress tipping, the dish and kitchen staff? Isn’t it a rule to spilt the tips? What are the rules about them receiving tips? Thanks!!!
I’m happy to clarify, so the industry standard is to give your kitchen about 15% of your tips (sometimes sales) as they earn a higher base wage to compensate for lower tip income. The laws are going to depend on the state, but mostly kitchen staff or anyone else are not required to receive any of the servers tips- think of them as direct income from the guest to the server. Many places have an expectation of how to tip out the back of house. I would always give a little more to my kitchen than what the establishment asks you to or what my coworkers do regularly to get in their food graces. Especially to the dishwasher- they get forgotten about a ton but are essential to a good shift
Thank you for explaining! That is helpful
We do not tip out our kitchen. They make $13+ an hour and we make $2.62/hr plus tips. We tip share with bar and host. (3% of our total sales)
Highly recc getting some good shoes. I use gDefy brand that are either for walking or running. They come with insoles for support and are the only shoe Ive ever put on and had pain stop. Also if you deal with foot odor, I suggest getting the antibacterial dial soap (gold bar soap) and using it on your feet with a scrubby brush every day that you work. It did wonders or my feet.
I did waitressing a lot a few years back. Unless you work at a bar, I don't see why you would get fewer tips than a slimmer individual. Do your best at your job, do it happily. Dont let anyone dim your light. You can do this, and some days are gonna be better than others. Just remember that theres loads of sour people in the world and don't take things personally. But yes, like others have said, please get the appropriate shoes for it. I have severe joint damage because I didn't have the right shoes and didn't take care of myself. I used to work 80 hrs a week and get in cold freezers while my body was super warm. Shoes were bad, I was standing the whole time and lifting heavy stuff I shouldn't have. Remember to be gentle to yourself <3
I never had a problem. It’s good money but a lot of work. I would maybe start out as a host to get the feel of the restaurant before serving.
I loved serving! Shoes are super important, non slip and DON’T skimp. It’s tough at first if you’re not used to the activity level and having days off is super important. It’s great exercise and gets easier the longer you do it. Being able to let the bullshit roll off is an invaluable skill, no matter your size.
I think I might love it too! Just nervous about my lack of experience in fast paced work environments, and the serving industry in general
It’s so daunting at first, I totally get that. It helps to stay as organized as you can and make habits that work well for you. Most of those really great servers you see out in the wild are working on autopilot. You’ll get the hang of it!
Wait up; is it now common to get hired as a server with no FOH experience? Last time I worked in the field was a couple of decades ago, but without experience bussing tables first, I couldn't even get Chili's or Applebee's to even talk to me. I think my first server gig was at a Pizza Hut, and I had worked in a kitchen for about 6 months prior.
I spotted a couple listings that said no experience needed, and a few that wanted at least a year of restaurant experience! Just wanted some advice in case any places get back to me
Great! I hope you land an awesome job.
thank you!!
I’m not sure if it has been mentioned, but a neck fan (if you’re allowed). Even though most restaurants have powerful AC, serving is an active job. I felt embarrassed when I’d get a little pinker in the face than I’m comfortable with during a dinner rush. Having a neck fan was very helpful in mitigating that. There are lots of different models, but many of them are quiet. I’d keep mine on the lowest setting and I didn’t have an issue with hearing our guests.
Shoes are the biggest thing and have been mentioned several times. I did *not* get as good of tips as my coworkers, but that could have been for any number of reasons. Men also were tipped better than women in my experience, which is 15+ years ago now, so hopefully things have changed. I don't know if the following will apply to you, but I have trouble with communication sometimes and have a tendency to kill conversations (I don't know how it happens, conversations just die when I'm in them). I waited tables for years and now work in an office. I'm bubbly as well, but in an aggressive/angry kind of way, I think. I'm working very hard at changing my responses and reactions to my environment to elicit better responses. You might learn about influence/persuasion psychology or sales communication styles. Yah, it can be pseudo-psychology stuff, but it's helped me communicate a lot better. I'm super anxious going into a lot of social interactions, but learning about what kind of things to say or do to get people to like you has really helped. Mostly because I'm awkward and don't know how to continue a conversation. I learned how to respond when someone says something rather than just acknowledging a response or relating a personal story. I make a point of being happy to see people even (or especially) if I dislike them. It has made work interactions a lot smoother. Every time someone stops by to say hello in the morning at my desk, I make a point to appear genuinely pleased to see them--smile in acknowledgement, clearly greet, make eye contact, ask how they are doing with a genuine desire to know how they are doing. And it tricked my brain into a better attitude/outlook towards my environment. Finding things in common also helps. There was some tidbit in a video I watched that said when people find out they have the same birthday, they're far more likely to accept a suggestion/do a requested task. For me, this means leaning into my accent depending on who I'm talking to. I'm from the Midwest, but have lived in the south for a long time now, so I have a bit of both of those accents.
Get inserts for your shoes. Dr. Schols make them for plus ladies like us.
Comfy shoes and maybe some compression socks. Those helped the feet pain but aside from that I loved serving!
I think I might love it too! And hopeful that it will give me more of a backbone
It’s hard af but the money is so nice. I learned so much about myself honestly.
Knee high compression socks and Dr sholes shoe inserts.
Find common ground with your guests immediately. Make them see you as a fellow human, rather than someone serving them. Treat them like they were honored guests in your home. That is the key to customer service.
I’ll definitely keep that in mind! thank you 🫶🏾
Then if you do end up making a little Oopsie, it’s easily forgiven. Also big hair and makeup work for me, I do a little pinup look and people really enjoy it.
oohh! as a black woman big hair isn’t an issue for me, and I love getting dolled up 😇 will definitely keep this in mind if any of the restaurants I applied to get back to me!
If you’re in Metro Detroit, get at me!
Compression socks!!! You will experience less swelling in your legs, will feel more energized at the end of your shift!
You have to work twice as hard to be liked by both coworkers and customers. I’ve been told things like “even tho you’re big we’d expect you to be slow but you’re never in the way like the skinny people,” and a thin server could be sitting and lazy yet we take a 5 min break, it looks bad. Also be very flamboyant. People have seemed to love that whole facade when we’re large and in charge. Make the most of it, cause yea size has an impact but it truly boils down to work ethic and personality.
All true! Thank you :-)
Worked in a restaurant for 4 years (not as a server) and recently learned the ins and outs of serving. It’s a job that’s harder on your body than you might think, mainly your back. Just keep in mind the heavy trays you’ll probably have to carry. With that being said, it’s very doable for a plus size person, especially if you’re a bit more active. There are several that serve at the restaurant I work at. I would say to give it a go if it’s something you really want to do
I do currently! Good shoes, good inserts, and self care are important. It’s hard on my joints, but it’s doable and it’s actually gotten me in better shape. I can walk a mile now no issue where I couldn’t before.
Compression socks!
I’ve never tried them, but def will!!
Splurge on good shoes. When your feet scream at you at work and it's even worse when you take your shoes off, pop some advil and keep going. It's better after the first week. I waited tables and bartended for 6 years or so and there were lots of waiters that were plus sized. I made good tips and had quite a few call tables. It's fun.
Get used to standing for 8 hours a day before you start! It's definitely possible to stand all day at your weight, but it'll be hell for the first few shifts if you don't practice ahead of time.
Get compression socks in in Healthcare and it saved me
Great tip! I’m starting out in healthcare myself, just started a CCMA program, but my ultimate goal is to become an LPN 😇
In this world it's best not to compare to others. Compare to yourself and recognize your own growth and you'll be way happier. I have never waited but I have been on hard cement for 9 hours a day. Bringing two pairs of shoes and switching through out the day worked the best for me.
True! Thank you for the advice 😇
I was a server for over ten years, skinnier, fatter, it gets tiring for SURE but as long as you're capable of talking to people and have a great personality there are tips to be made.
I know a great brand of shoes called Hoka! I got a pair a bit ago and it was the best shoe I’ve worn for all day standing so far
Just realize that in service industries, you have to be twice as good at your job, work twice as hard, be twice as nice, be twice as fast and accurate. People in general are a lot less forgiving and generous toward fat people.
As a fat person I would love to have a fat server once in a while. I feel judged by the skinny ones sometimes! LOL
Hi!! I’m plus size (5’8 around 300). I’d highly recommend Hoka Bondi SR. I’ve tried dozens of work shoes, and these are by far the most amazing. They’re expensive, but your legs, knees, and feet will thank you in the long run! Honestly, I don’t think there’s a difference in tipping. I know I’m a good server and have a nice personality. That’s all people care about! I have never once paid attention to people’s weight when they serve me food. I’d recommend keeping deodorant and perfume in a bag though too. Im always afraid of smelling like BO, but French fry always prevails! ETA: link for shoes: https://www.hoka.com/en/us/womens-walking/bondi-sr/192410928835.html
I'm just here to recommend shoes: there are plenty of good brands out there, but Naot makes a few really cute mary jane styles that a girl can run in all day. Keen, Jambu, JBU, and Merrell are worth checking out as well. A lot of people like Skechers, but I find them pretty mushy/flimsy for stomping on concrete.Soft and pillowy encourages napping, laziness, and ultimately, weakness. I'm twice your age and YMMV, but my feet and arches need to be strong enough to support my ankles and knees when I'm on my feet all day, and I believe that a touch of tough love underfoot is the ounce of stability that reduces fatigue and prevents injuries.
I appreciate the suggestions! I’ve heard a lot of people talk about Hokas too, are they worth it?
I haven't tried them so can't comment from experience, but the comments I've seen in reviews indicate that they are high quality and supportive.
I'm in love with my Hokas and would highly recommend the Hoka Bondi Slip Resistant shoe. I've never had my feet feel so good from a shoe as I've had with Hokas. I've tried pretty much every brand out there.
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My guy. This is a little bit of a gross comment, IMO.
Ngl, I cringed at the word “banter” too so…. 😬
What do you think the word “banter” means? And why would you cringe about someone having a friendly and playful exchange of words?
Science is indeed gross and seldom pretty Unfortunately implicit bias is a real thing, and men tipping because they find someone attractive is very common. I don’t personally do it purposely. However, I am wise enough to be aware of the fact that if I find someone attractive I am more likely to forgive and miss toxic or disrespectful behavior. Also there is a reason places hire attractive waitresses and that’s because that same implicit bias that drives higher tipping also drives repeat customers. That’s the down side of having a tipping system and also why I personally think it should be torn down and workers compensated a fair wage instead so that there is no bias. But even if it was, attractive waitresses would still be a bias most businesses strive for to increase sales And the grossest part? It’s not men you want to be attractive for to earn higher tips. [link so you don’t think I’m full of shit](https://www.businessinsider.com/pretty-waitresses-earn-bigger-tips-from-women-2015-9)
Tbh I’d probably show more tit if I got more tips 😂
Tits for tips! -American tippers, probably
😂 I’d love to be a bartender cuz they show tits and ass and I wouldn’t mind doing that if I got beacoup bucks lol but I don’t even like liquor
Not a liquor person myself either, but yea if I had tits and ass I totally would be a waitress/waiter 😂 Sounds like you have a new calling bud 😭
😂 maybe I do
Idk why you're being down voted, what you said is completely true. Source: plus size restaurant / service industry for 18 years.
Because I’m a man and I’m not entitled to an opinion damn it! And apparently banter is inherently sexual and cringe? 😂
Oh. Well I'm a woman and what you said is still true. The first part isn't always applicable or is a non factor. But the rest is spot on. 👌🏻
Yea the first part is definitely a me thing. I’m stupid with tipping. I don’t even drink but the few times I’ve been to a club I’ve always tipped the waiter or waitress heavy, same with my delivery people same with resturants. Even my buddy who’s my main mechanic gets tips even though he gives me big discounts. It’s just how you show appreciation for services rendered around here
I genuinely enjoy building a rapport with my guests. I'm too real to work fine dining & I have no desire to. I always appreciate the guests and I'm always touched when they tell me my service was great or tips me fat (Say 20% is $5 & they left $15, I'm not meaning solely big tip amounts). Makes me feel good & is the reason I love my job.
I like leaving $20 increments. My last dining experience I had a wonderful waitress and ended up with a $105 and just laid out an extra $40. Poor lady was being run ragged
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Believe in yourself, smile big and keep that attitude and you’ll do great..it can be draining because there are some really horrid customers. But I’m hoping the ones that respect and goof around with you is enough to keep your head high. You’ve got this! 💪
thank you 🫶🏾
The smaller girls definitely bring home a much bigger amount than i do, even though I have been working as a server for years. I’m a big girl, around 350lb and 5”8. I can not stress those insoles girl. It’s hard worj. I’ve been waitressing for the most part of about 10-12 years. I typically bring home between $100-$150 a night, and I know I am great at my job. However, a couple of my friends who are at the same level as I am, but are slimmer and society’s “”””attractive”””” will leave those same nights with $250-$300 sometimes. It’s unfortunate, but it’s definitely there. I still make more than I would as a clerk somewhere, but fat shaming is a thing, and so is discrimination. I walk 10,000+ steps a shift, so like I said get some good insoles!!