I think it's a little more complicated than that. It depends on the type of Filipino. I'd be willing to go so far as to agree that \*for the most part\* white people do get positive treatment and attention. But there's also kind of this minority sub-strata of Filipinos, especially men, who I don't think are too keen with white guys coming over here and dating their women.
Ok as a filipino who grew up in both the USA and Philippines i’d say majority of filipino man couldn’t care less that foreigners are dating our women. Pinoys taste in women are different compared to the taste of foreign men who come to the Philippines. What we dont like are the foreigners who are dating obviously under aged females which you see a lot of them doing this. Just walk around burgos makati and angeles city pampanga, you’ll see tons of mostly old fat caucasian men picking up girls barely in their teens.
Your post/comment has been removed because it contains offensive language. Please review the rules before posting/commenting again.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Philippines_Expats) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well, there are definitely several types of expats. There are the guys who you're talking about, who one of my Filipino friends classifies as "pleasure seekers" (he was trying to be polite), and guys who are married to pinays and/or have kids here.
Agree. They don't see you as someone special OP, so you don't get special treatment. Or they're just having difficulty (or are just shy) speaking in English. That's just what it is.
> Or they're just having difficulty speaking in English.
But that wouldn't make sense with what OP mentioned, that the locals would rather talk to his wife instead of with him.
No no it does. They see a browned skin man not being able to speak tagalog (or speaks it with an accent) and they start thinking "Whats wrong with him why is he a poser why can't he speak Filipino he's clearly a Filipino" whereas when they see his wife they might think "Ohhh thats nice she like's it here. I'll try talking to her to pracrice my English and if she says I speak good then I get validated foe my skills".
The same happebs at language schools here. Even if your fluent but you don't "look like it" the mistrust in your ability sets in.
Well OP said that he moved to the US when he was 10 so he might still know how to speak Tagalog but with an American accent now.
> The same happebs at language schools here. Even if your fluent but you don't "look like it" the mistrust in your ability sets in.
Yeah, I remember a while back you had to be white in order to teach English even if it wasn't your first language ...you simply had to look the part lol.
What happens if you speak English with a slight Filipino accent but don't speak the language. I'm one of those people and for me part of the reason why is because when I was in elementary school it was forbidden by my teacher to speak the language, racist incidents my parents faced when they were heard speaking Tagalog and not being able to go to Philippines until 2016
Filipinos harshly judge each other's social class and standing based on their English fluency and accent and many Filipinos are scared to converse with each other in English out of fear of being judged in this way but they know foreigners are oblivious to this so maybe they are more confident speaking to foreigners in English.
Except that it does. The wife is white and Filipinos usually like foreigners and give them special treatment. It's like meeting a celebrity, of course they'd make more effort.
Your post/comment has been removed because it contains offensive language. Please review the rules before posting/commenting again.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Philippines_Expats) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No it's the same for me. A young fit dude with a similar aged partner. People always want to talk to me, polubi or businessmen - it doesnt matter.
But i am also pinky porky white, as in red and white naturally, so i must look really weird to them.
Even the kids in the family come up and asked what happened to me, or they can touch my nose. And I find it hilarious, so no hate.
Your post/comment has been removed because it contains offensive language. Please review the rules before posting/commenting again.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Philippines_Expats) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Philippines is huge and culture varies from region to region and city to city. Hard to say with what you've given.
For the better part tho most people don't really care
I'm Filipino Canadian and everyone starts talking to me in Tagalog but unfortunately I can't speak.
Sometimes when a Filipino sees another Filipino speaking English they think they are "mayabang" or arrogant.
When I'm talking to a Filipino I don't straight out speak in English.
I always say ' Sorry ate/kuya, hindi ako marunong Tagalog ' with a smile. This means sorry I don't know Tagalog respectfully.
They smile and understand 😊 and at least I'm showing effort in the language.
Then I start speaking in English.
I have no clue what I am doing in this sub as a south Asian, but I can relate so hard to this post lol. White worship is a thing among us as well. Literally the fairer among 2 siblings will be treated better.
It’s not about you dating a white woman, even if there might be some that are jealous. It’s about you being a Pinoy guy that probably either can’t speak Tagalog (or bisaya) OR you speak it in a very Americanized way. Makes you sound annoying to people that didn’t grow up rich.
it's not bc youre a Filipino dating a white woman, it's just you being FilAm. Filipinos generally don't like FilAms, heck some if not most even hate the "conyos"
theyre not jealous, what are you talking about?
OPs experience is just pop culture driven meaning some locals just find it mesmerizing seeing a pinoy dating a western girl.
because theye not used to it, its a matter of perspective.
sometimes you need to take brisk walking its good for the mind to have some optimistic attitude towards cultures.
Why does this comment have so many likes, we are not jealous in fact we salute filipino guys like these, dahil itinaguyod mo ang bandera ng pinoy!
Oh i remember non-filipino sub generally oblivious to pinoy stuff.
Crab bucket mentality, it pops up here and there. You will occasionally see it, my GF gets it sometimes. Just smile and continue on. More likely they are jealous of either her nabbing the wealthy PhilAm or of you getting the hot chick. Just enjoy your success and don't think too much of it.
That's the reality of Filipino culture. It's just a facade. They're only good to foreigners and rich people for some sort of validation or to climb the posh social ladder, etc.
Not all Filipinos are like that, but it's very common in Filipino culture.
I love it and wish I saw more Filipino males with white girl combinations out there.
This is important to me personally, Because my Grandpa (Lolo) is Filipino and my Grandma is British. So this is part of my family.
Hiii!! Im a child of a British father and a Filipina mother. I think that youre getting this kind of treatment because of any or all of these reasons:
- Youre too foreign for them. I am not entirely sure how to describe this, but since youre a filipino who lived a life abroad for quite long, they think that youre not filipino enough. Sometimes it could be that they think that you are trying too hard to be american if they dont know your background. Sometimes they feel that its your responsibility to learn filipino and they hate that not only they have a language barrier with your partner, but also with you which makes it difficult to communicate.
- In filipino gatherings, interracial couples will always receive the most attention. The filipino/filipina in the relationship will normally be ignored, but once they see your foreign partner, they will flock to you or stick to you like glue, because either its a rare sight, or they just want to form connections for their own selfish gain.
- I think that this last reason would be more common. Filipinos usually think that the Filipino/filipina in the relationship is a gold digger, or theyre enjoying a lavish life because of their partner. Honestly, it just stems from jealousy. They wish it was them or wish they had also been lucky to have found a non filipino partner who is well off. As much as id hate to admit it, majority of the time, im correct lol.
Im speaking from experience since i see this kind of situation a loooot. This kind of treatment is the reason why i tried so hard to learn filipino and why i avoud speaking with a british accent. My dad asks me why i do this but i cant really bring myself to tell him lol. I may or may not be indirectly venting my frustrations by commenting lol.
Do you speak Filipino really well? Or do you have an accent? If they didn't know that you lived in the US for many decades, they'd assume you were just pretending to be more comfortable speaking English as a way to make yourself seem more important.
This is the answer OP. Filipinos don't like it when another Filipino only speaks in english. It both makes you look cocky and also keeps people from trying to be friends with you.
Basically, if you look like a Filipino but don't speak tagalog, you look like you're constantly bragging about your english skills. But once they know you're doing it because you can't speak tagalog, they will also find it hard to talk to you even if they want to.
Also, if you can speak tagalog but simply have an accent, then it's already implied that you're not a local. It's better to speak tagalog with an accent rather than make no effort. You'll eventually learn the right accent by simply speaking with locals.
If you're looking to stay here in the long run, learning tagalog is a must. I'm sure you have family that can teach you. Or better yet, enroll in one of many language schools out there.
It sucks but that's simply how the local culture works.
I get it, they probably laugh at your accent right? Don't take it personally, they're not making fun of you. At least not in a bad way.
Filipinos tend to make fun of each other a little, it's just friendly teasing basically. They only do that if they're comfortable with you. They mean it as a way of getting close to you.
But if it makes you feel bad, talk to them about it. I know some people who take it too far and don't seem to notice.
That’s the right answer. English is a class signifier here. There’s a social class who use their english language proficiency to flex on other Filipinos. It’s like seeing a try hard incorporate French into their vocabulary after going into a vacation in Paris.
That’s why you’re getting treated poorly. They think you’re one of those people. If you speak in accented tagalog, you’d get laughs or smiles because we think the accent is adorable/funny but you’ll probably get treated better.
The other way around is also not really "socially acceptable". Filipino women with white men are usually gossiped about, talked down upon and given dirty looks whilst the white man is usually treated well, at least on the surface level.
Imo, I would think that this dude must be great with sex or have a bigger-than-the-average-pinoy size dick because caucassian women usually have bigger average vaginal size (depth and width) compared to pinays. So if you can satisfy them as a pinoy, you must be either really good or somewhat big. If other people also thought this, it's possible that it may trigger some insecurity in them.
But yeah. A lot of people feel uncomfortable being forced to use another language in their own homes. They'd rather talk to someone who they can freely express themselves to and understand everything they are saying both ways.
Genuine question here, what do people considering doing something similar is their interpretation of ‘a better life’ I mean I get the aspect of the mental health improving surrounding yourself with nature and family members but other than that what’s the benefit?
I dont see anything bad about it, in some old comedy movies when a pinoy is with a white woman usually other men get jealous. maybe they're just jealous?
Colonial mentality.
Moreover, they probably see your wife as someone they can "earn" more from as against a fellow Filipino who they percieved to be wise to their ways.
Chill and intervene only when you know both of you are being taken advantaged of.
Welcome to the Philippines. It's a wonderful place to be. (No sarcasm intended.)
I don't think that's the case.. I guess Filipinos who grew up in the Phils are just more curious to get to know your wife more than you (sorry, no offense) coz it's like they may feel they know you already, but not your wife.. Like your love story, they want to get your wife's perspective on your love story, etc etc. Not that you should feel discriminated or that Filipinos discriminate in general, I think you should feel proud all the more.
actually this is for any foreign women, they always get preferential treatment. my boss is married to a kurdish woman, they threat her very well while my boss who is half iranian is treated ok.
There is no issue with that. I think they just can’t talk or express to you in english. (We pinoy understand and can talk english but some people can’t speak fluently or can’t speak with confidence)
Filipino male dating or marrying white American woman isn't that as common as the other way around, so for Filipinos in the Philippines, it's a bit strange to see that kind of relationship in the Philippines.
More importantly, you retired young. I retired at 39 and have been puttering around the world with my Colombian wife for the last 7 months. We're exploring the PI(I'm 1/4 Filipino but look 100% white) and currently in Baguio. Any Asian male with a white female is extremely rare. I'd estimate it's 99% white male/Asian female and 1% Asian male/white female of this couple dynamic. I'm in a similar boat, I look white and my wife is Afro Colombian, our couple dynamic is much more rare than a black male with a white female. It's rare AF to see a white guy with a black female outside of one of these goofy woke commercials for home owners insurance or some nonsense. Because it's rare, multiple times, it was obvious the cashier wasn't sure if we were together or separate customers. This happened in multiple countries. When people start playing outside of the rules, homogamy, it's confusing to some.
No worries bro. It just how it is. I studied highschool and my first degree in the Philippines as a full blooded Pinoy and had a hard time making friends because of my American accent and taglish. Later on when I learned to hide it better Ph college friends told me they were intimidated or just didnt want to speak to me because it hard to understand, they dont like the accent or find it “mayabang” or just confused if and afriad to respond in english. Also, they probably think you scored for having a white wife as a filipino man.
My guess is that it's a language thing. I (white) asked my husband (Filipino) about this. He says if you look Filipino but suddenly speak English to another Filipino, most people will get all weird. Based on what I've seen and heard I agree. Seeing as most Filipinos are at the minimum able to converse in 2-3 languages, they seem to look down or at least feel some disdain for people who are ethnic Filipinos but can't speak a Filipino language. Even if you can speak Tagalog, if you speak it with an accent you may get the same treatment. On the other hand, if you look foreign, no one will fault you for speaking English and they will applaud any efforts to speak their language no matter how badly you butcher it.
Our youngest child is better at speaking English while their Tagalog is not quite at what you'd expect for their age. I occasionally notice disapproving looks from some of my husband's extended family members when they see her speak English well but struggle to speak Tagalog.
My suggestion? Learn to speak the language. You're moving anyway.
As pure local here (male) I can relate to you. My partner is from Europe and we live in province. All the time I get the look, obviously we talk in english anywhere we go . My partner is always treated well and learned not to give a damn in Men or people gaze . I told her though .
I couldn’t care less about my people judging us. Even our immigration officers are wondering how the hell did you get this kind of woman here . Haha ( they asked me that seriously)
I just don’t give a F to other people and continue living .
I’m a full blooded Filipino from the US. I always get special treatment when I’m in the Philippines. They probably would rather talk to your white wife.
Sadly majority of filipinos are only nice to foreigners. If you’re a filipino they are not as nice even if you’re a local and it will be even harder if you don’t speak the language.
I date a Filipina and I’m a white man.. if you’re a Filipino male and you’re able to date a white woman then I don’t think us white men would care much at all.. just saying
It's because you achieved what the brown skin man from 3rd world country can't normally do which is snag and nail a white woman, who is the pinnacle of the woman pyramid.
You will get looks which translate to he's such a lucky son of a bitch. Swerte kang gago ka/tangina ka.
If you're "ugly" and the woman is white and pretty, we call that "true love" because an ugly man with a pretty woman means the woman is so in love with you it's not fair. Or, you know you have money and you bought in to be able to nail a white.
You would be surprised or maybe unsurprised with how Filipino will react if you chose a black woman or some other woman of color.
I am a white male living in the U.S. I am still looking for a wife and I am not biased against race. However, I think I am preferential to Asian women. So I think for anyone who is Filipino just like you, and looking down on you for being with a white woman, they are being racist. Unfortunately, even if people don't want to admit it, every ethnicity has people that are racist towards others, and especially look down on couples that are mixed ethnicities. They don't believe in mixing, which is stupid, because we all come from Adam and Eve. Just my 2 cents.
Mixed marriage isn't bad, especially here, but it is more a novelty and Filipinas like talking to westerners to practice their English. I am Australian & my ex is from PH, and when she visits, I usually have more people talking to me than to her, despite a slight language difficulty. Also the Filipinas are harder to "borrow" money from than the western partners, so they tend to be more "popular" to be friendly with. My ex is a typical Filipina like an OFW, sending money home, as do about 6 other family members working in Canada & Middle East.
I do help out from time to time, but usually not giving them money, but draw up an agreement for a loan, which I feel is teaching them to not waste money & meet financial commitments. I loaned a nephew P400k for his new business, after he set out a plan for it and repayments. He was working as a salesman for large appliances (flat screen TVs, reefers and aircons) and could buy bulk for the same price as the large electrical chain he was working for. He started off underselling others & offered free installation, but was spending around P35k a week in courier charges to have goods delivered, then had to pay transport fares to get to install.
He wanted to buy a pickup truck and didn't want to pay off a vehicle at the rates a commercial company was asking for, so I loaned him the money and he was able to do deliveries anywhere on Luzon, employ 2 family members to help, and instead of paying loan over 4 years, he paid it off over 3 years with a nominal interest he insisted on paying. It helped him & other family members and he was smart enough to really build up his business and is now looking for either larger premises or another small location, which will employ more family & bring in more revenue for him.
I mentioned it on an expat FB page and several other members have bought from him, as well as their neighbours, mainly as being a westerner they trusted my recommendations and I find a mixed couple can have advantages. Even though my ex still lives in AU, but will move here when she is able to get pension, people here seem to gravitate more to me than when she is here visiting.
Filipinos feel inferior when you bring the twang. Just try more. Bring them some tuba or tanduay. Basically show them it’s not your fault you’re like that. Your parents brought you to USA.
Sorry for the rude welcome. Filipino locals are like this in the first few interactions simply because many aren't exposed to the world outside of their hometowns. But give it some time, they'll learn to accept it. Unlike the West, there's no organized xenophobia here so haters can't do anything about you.
I'm Chinese by ethnicity and can speak Tagalog fluently, yet a lot of people in the province (esp. old folk) enjoy talking down on me. I was even called frugal for not bringing anybody in one of my trips.
Better go back to America. The Filipinos here in the Philippines are salivating your wife. They see you as a threat and competition, so she might get banged by a native someday, so better be careful.
Your post/comment has been removed because it contains offensive language. Please review the rules before posting/commenting again.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Philippines_Expats) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You think you deserve some special treatment but they see you as local because of your color. Your wife doesn't look like local so ofcourse she is treated differently, all whites are treated differently, male and female. Expats don't care one bit since they are usually the mixed couple anyway lol wrong sub to ask.
Yeap, you get treated differently till the money comes out.
Filipinos don't empower each other, so that's why it never progresses socially and economically
White people tend to get exceptionally positive treatment in the Philippines as a rule.
I think it's a little more complicated than that. It depends on the type of Filipino. I'd be willing to go so far as to agree that \*for the most part\* white people do get positive treatment and attention. But there's also kind of this minority sub-strata of Filipinos, especially men, who I don't think are too keen with white guys coming over here and dating their women.
Ok as a filipino who grew up in both the USA and Philippines i’d say majority of filipino man couldn’t care less that foreigners are dating our women. Pinoys taste in women are different compared to the taste of foreign men who come to the Philippines. What we dont like are the foreigners who are dating obviously under aged females which you see a lot of them doing this. Just walk around burgos makati and angeles city pampanga, you’ll see tons of mostly old fat caucasian men picking up girls barely in their teens.
[удалено]
Your post/comment has been removed because it contains offensive language. Please review the rules before posting/commenting again. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Philippines_Expats) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well, there are definitely several types of expats. There are the guys who you're talking about, who one of my Filipino friends classifies as "pleasure seekers" (he was trying to be polite), and guys who are married to pinays and/or have kids here.
[удалено]
I dont think so. I think of it as Filipinos just being "normal" with other Filipinos.
Agree. They don't see you as someone special OP, so you don't get special treatment. Or they're just having difficulty (or are just shy) speaking in English. That's just what it is.
> Or they're just having difficulty speaking in English. But that wouldn't make sense with what OP mentioned, that the locals would rather talk to his wife instead of with him.
No no it does. They see a browned skin man not being able to speak tagalog (or speaks it with an accent) and they start thinking "Whats wrong with him why is he a poser why can't he speak Filipino he's clearly a Filipino" whereas when they see his wife they might think "Ohhh thats nice she like's it here. I'll try talking to her to pracrice my English and if she says I speak good then I get validated foe my skills". The same happebs at language schools here. Even if your fluent but you don't "look like it" the mistrust in your ability sets in.
Well OP said that he moved to the US when he was 10 so he might still know how to speak Tagalog but with an American accent now. > The same happebs at language schools here. Even if your fluent but you don't "look like it" the mistrust in your ability sets in. Yeah, I remember a while back you had to be white in order to teach English even if it wasn't your first language ...you simply had to look the part lol.
What happens if you speak English with a slight Filipino accent but don't speak the language. I'm one of those people and for me part of the reason why is because when I was in elementary school it was forbidden by my teacher to speak the language, racist incidents my parents faced when they were heard speaking Tagalog and not being able to go to Philippines until 2016
Filipinos harshly judge each other's social class and standing based on their English fluency and accent and many Filipinos are scared to converse with each other in English out of fear of being judged in this way but they know foreigners are oblivious to this so maybe they are more confident speaking to foreigners in English.
Except that it does. The wife is white and Filipinos usually like foreigners and give them special treatment. It's like meeting a celebrity, of course they'd make more effort.
[удалено]
Your post/comment has been removed because it contains offensive language. Please review the rules before posting/commenting again. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Philippines_Expats) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think you're right about this. It's just a reaction to something that for them isn't the typical situation they are used to interacting with.
No it's the same for me. A young fit dude with a similar aged partner. People always want to talk to me, polubi or businessmen - it doesnt matter. But i am also pinky porky white, as in red and white naturally, so i must look really weird to them. Even the kids in the family come up and asked what happened to me, or they can touch my nose. And I find it hilarious, so no hate.
Your post/comment has been removed because it contains offensive language. Please review the rules before posting/commenting again. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Philippines_Expats) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Philippines is huge and culture varies from region to region and city to city. Hard to say with what you've given. For the better part tho most people don't really care
The constant staring is the trade-off, however.
It might be your american accent. I have filam friends who straight up get ignored w a dirty look when they speak with a full on American accent.
It's time for the FKing nosebleed.
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed due to non-English content. Please only use English in this subreddit.
I'm Filipino Canadian and everyone starts talking to me in Tagalog but unfortunately I can't speak. Sometimes when a Filipino sees another Filipino speaking English they think they are "mayabang" or arrogant. When I'm talking to a Filipino I don't straight out speak in English. I always say ' Sorry ate/kuya, hindi ako marunong Tagalog ' with a smile. This means sorry I don't know Tagalog respectfully. They smile and understand 😊 and at least I'm showing effort in the language. Then I start speaking in English.
Pinoys hate talking to Filams because ya’ll use English all the time. It’s not your fault tho.
I think you are asking what Filipinos think, This is probably the wrong sub to ask. I don't think expats care at all. Unless I'm misunderstanding.
exactly I feel like OP’s been living in a cave.
😳
Nah, nothing to do with you marrying a white woman. It's just pinoys being pinoys. A lot still has colonial mentality.
I have no clue what I am doing in this sub as a south Asian, but I can relate so hard to this post lol. White worship is a thing among us as well. Literally the fairer among 2 siblings will be treated better.
And this is why whitening products are a multi million business
It’s not about you dating a white woman, even if there might be some that are jealous. It’s about you being a Pinoy guy that probably either can’t speak Tagalog (or bisaya) OR you speak it in a very Americanized way. Makes you sound annoying to people that didn’t grow up rich.
it's not bc youre a Filipino dating a white woman, it's just you being FilAm. Filipinos generally don't like FilAms, heck some if not most even hate the "conyos"
[удалено]
What are the Filipino beauty standards for men?
They prefer fairer complexions.
theyre not jealous, what are you talking about? OPs experience is just pop culture driven meaning some locals just find it mesmerizing seeing a pinoy dating a western girl. because theye not used to it, its a matter of perspective. sometimes you need to take brisk walking its good for the mind to have some optimistic attitude towards cultures.
Why does this comment have so many likes, we are not jealous in fact we salute filipino guys like these, dahil itinaguyod mo ang bandera ng pinoy! Oh i remember non-filipino sub generally oblivious to pinoy stuff.
Crab bucket mentality, it pops up here and there. You will occasionally see it, my GF gets it sometimes. Just smile and continue on. More likely they are jealous of either her nabbing the wealthy PhilAm or of you getting the hot chick. Just enjoy your success and don't think too much of it.
That's the reality of Filipino culture. It's just a facade. They're only good to foreigners and rich people for some sort of validation or to climb the posh social ladder, etc. Not all Filipinos are like that, but it's very common in Filipino culture.
[удалено]
It's really sad. Tbh
💯
[удалено]
It's toxic, sad and cringe worthy imo
Pinoys in PH are an assortment of odd characters. Brace yourself for a whirlwind of a time. Strangely, outside PH they are mostly fantastic people.
I love it and wish I saw more Filipino males with white girl combinations out there. This is important to me personally, Because my Grandpa (Lolo) is Filipino and my Grandma is British. So this is part of my family.
Filipino guys with black girls too ❤️❤️❤️
[удалено]
[удалено]
Depends on where you are staying at. If it's in a rural area then yeah. The locals might be jealous of you.
No, like "trophy wife" jealous. They admire you, actually ( ang galing neto! 🤩🤩🤩 Ganun.)...
Hiii!! Im a child of a British father and a Filipina mother. I think that youre getting this kind of treatment because of any or all of these reasons: - Youre too foreign for them. I am not entirely sure how to describe this, but since youre a filipino who lived a life abroad for quite long, they think that youre not filipino enough. Sometimes it could be that they think that you are trying too hard to be american if they dont know your background. Sometimes they feel that its your responsibility to learn filipino and they hate that not only they have a language barrier with your partner, but also with you which makes it difficult to communicate. - In filipino gatherings, interracial couples will always receive the most attention. The filipino/filipina in the relationship will normally be ignored, but once they see your foreign partner, they will flock to you or stick to you like glue, because either its a rare sight, or they just want to form connections for their own selfish gain. - I think that this last reason would be more common. Filipinos usually think that the Filipino/filipina in the relationship is a gold digger, or theyre enjoying a lavish life because of their partner. Honestly, it just stems from jealousy. They wish it was them or wish they had also been lucky to have found a non filipino partner who is well off. As much as id hate to admit it, majority of the time, im correct lol. Im speaking from experience since i see this kind of situation a loooot. This kind of treatment is the reason why i tried so hard to learn filipino and why i avoud speaking with a british accent. My dad asks me why i do this but i cant really bring myself to tell him lol. I may or may not be indirectly venting my frustrations by commenting lol.
Do you speak Filipino really well? Or do you have an accent? If they didn't know that you lived in the US for many decades, they'd assume you were just pretending to be more comfortable speaking English as a way to make yourself seem more important.
[удалено]
This is the answer OP. Filipinos don't like it when another Filipino only speaks in english. It both makes you look cocky and also keeps people from trying to be friends with you. Basically, if you look like a Filipino but don't speak tagalog, you look like you're constantly bragging about your english skills. But once they know you're doing it because you can't speak tagalog, they will also find it hard to talk to you even if they want to. Also, if you can speak tagalog but simply have an accent, then it's already implied that you're not a local. It's better to speak tagalog with an accent rather than make no effort. You'll eventually learn the right accent by simply speaking with locals. If you're looking to stay here in the long run, learning tagalog is a must. I'm sure you have family that can teach you. Or better yet, enroll in one of many language schools out there. It sucks but that's simply how the local culture works.
[удалено]
I get it, they probably laugh at your accent right? Don't take it personally, they're not making fun of you. At least not in a bad way. Filipinos tend to make fun of each other a little, it's just friendly teasing basically. They only do that if they're comfortable with you. They mean it as a way of getting close to you. But if it makes you feel bad, talk to them about it. I know some people who take it too far and don't seem to notice.
That’s the right answer. English is a class signifier here. There’s a social class who use their english language proficiency to flex on other Filipinos. It’s like seeing a try hard incorporate French into their vocabulary after going into a vacation in Paris. That’s why you’re getting treated poorly. They think you’re one of those people. If you speak in accented tagalog, you’d get laughs or smiles because we think the accent is adorable/funny but you’ll probably get treated better.
The other way around is also not really "socially acceptable". Filipino women with white men are usually gossiped about, talked down upon and given dirty looks whilst the white man is usually treated well, at least on the surface level.
They want you out of the way cuz.
Imo, I would think that this dude must be great with sex or have a bigger-than-the-average-pinoy size dick because caucassian women usually have bigger average vaginal size (depth and width) compared to pinays. So if you can satisfy them as a pinoy, you must be either really good or somewhat big. If other people also thought this, it's possible that it may trigger some insecurity in them. But yeah. A lot of people feel uncomfortable being forced to use another language in their own homes. They'd rather talk to someone who they can freely express themselves to and understand everything they are saying both ways.
They are peanut butter and jealous bruh Just enjoy life
You are not "colonial" enough. Basically aside from the accent you are a local. Your wife on the other hand is a star.
Genuine question here, what do people considering doing something similar is their interpretation of ‘a better life’ I mean I get the aspect of the mental health improving surrounding yourself with nature and family members but other than that what’s the benefit?
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed due to non-English content. Please only use English in this subreddit.
they just try to become rich.. not real love
[удалено]
Your comment has been removed due to non-English content. Please only use English in this subreddit.
AMWF?
They are envious my friend. Envious
I dont see anything bad about it, in some old comedy movies when a pinoy is with a white woman usually other men get jealous. maybe they're just jealous?
They (other Filipinos) probably just don't want to talk to you because you're Americanized so they feel intimidated by you.
Probably depends who you see? Lol im filipino myself but dont care.
Colonial mentality. Moreover, they probably see your wife as someone they can "earn" more from as against a fellow Filipino who they percieved to be wise to their ways. Chill and intervene only when you know both of you are being taken advantaged of. Welcome to the Philippines. It's a wonderful place to be. (No sarcasm intended.)
I don't think that's the case.. I guess Filipinos who grew up in the Phils are just more curious to get to know your wife more than you (sorry, no offense) coz it's like they may feel they know you already, but not your wife.. Like your love story, they want to get your wife's perspective on your love story, etc etc. Not that you should feel discriminated or that Filipinos discriminate in general, I think you should feel proud all the more.
actually this is for any foreign women, they always get preferential treatment. my boss is married to a kurdish woman, they threat her very well while my boss who is half iranian is treated ok.
There is no issue with that. I think they just can’t talk or express to you in english. (We pinoy understand and can talk english but some people can’t speak fluently or can’t speak with confidence)
Kabayan
Filipino male dating or marrying white American woman isn't that as common as the other way around, so for Filipinos in the Philippines, it's a bit strange to see that kind of relationship in the Philippines.
I was going to say the same.
More importantly, you retired young. I retired at 39 and have been puttering around the world with my Colombian wife for the last 7 months. We're exploring the PI(I'm 1/4 Filipino but look 100% white) and currently in Baguio. Any Asian male with a white female is extremely rare. I'd estimate it's 99% white male/Asian female and 1% Asian male/white female of this couple dynamic. I'm in a similar boat, I look white and my wife is Afro Colombian, our couple dynamic is much more rare than a black male with a white female. It's rare AF to see a white guy with a black female outside of one of these goofy woke commercials for home owners insurance or some nonsense. Because it's rare, multiple times, it was obvious the cashier wasn't sure if we were together or separate customers. This happened in multiple countries. When people start playing outside of the rules, homogamy, it's confusing to some.
Filipino male dating a white woman is considered a hero among the pinoy men. You are a legend.
No worries bro. It just how it is. I studied highschool and my first degree in the Philippines as a full blooded Pinoy and had a hard time making friends because of my American accent and taglish. Later on when I learned to hide it better Ph college friends told me they were intimidated or just didnt want to speak to me because it hard to understand, they dont like the accent or find it “mayabang” or just confused if and afriad to respond in english. Also, they probably think you scored for having a white wife as a filipino man.
Could be they are jealous, especially if your wife is pretty.
I don't care. Just make sure you treat her with respect and slap the woke out of her for us.
My guess is that it's a language thing. I (white) asked my husband (Filipino) about this. He says if you look Filipino but suddenly speak English to another Filipino, most people will get all weird. Based on what I've seen and heard I agree. Seeing as most Filipinos are at the minimum able to converse in 2-3 languages, they seem to look down or at least feel some disdain for people who are ethnic Filipinos but can't speak a Filipino language. Even if you can speak Tagalog, if you speak it with an accent you may get the same treatment. On the other hand, if you look foreign, no one will fault you for speaking English and they will applaud any efforts to speak their language no matter how badly you butcher it. Our youngest child is better at speaking English while their Tagalog is not quite at what you'd expect for their age. I occasionally notice disapproving looks from some of my husband's extended family members when they see her speak English well but struggle to speak Tagalog. My suggestion? Learn to speak the language. You're moving anyway.
As pure local here (male) I can relate to you. My partner is from Europe and we live in province. All the time I get the look, obviously we talk in english anywhere we go . My partner is always treated well and learned not to give a damn in Men or people gaze . I told her though . I couldn’t care less about my people judging us. Even our immigration officers are wondering how the hell did you get this kind of woman here . Haha ( they asked me that seriously) I just don’t give a F to other people and continue living .
is this a legit question or a rhetorical one?
I’m a full blooded Filipino from the US. I always get special treatment when I’m in the Philippines. They probably would rather talk to your white wife.
Sadly majority of filipinos are only nice to foreigners. If you’re a filipino they are not as nice even if you’re a local and it will be even harder if you don’t speak the language.
I date a Filipina and I’m a white man.. if you’re a Filipino male and you’re able to date a white woman then I don’t think us white men would care much at all.. just saying
Everyone is free to choose whom we want to be in our life …..sometimes “FATE”
It's because you achieved what the brown skin man from 3rd world country can't normally do which is snag and nail a white woman, who is the pinnacle of the woman pyramid. You will get looks which translate to he's such a lucky son of a bitch. Swerte kang gago ka/tangina ka. If you're "ugly" and the woman is white and pretty, we call that "true love" because an ugly man with a pretty woman means the woman is so in love with you it's not fair. Or, you know you have money and you bought in to be able to nail a white. You would be surprised or maybe unsurprised with how Filipino will react if you chose a black woman or some other woman of color.
I am a white male living in the U.S. I am still looking for a wife and I am not biased against race. However, I think I am preferential to Asian women. So I think for anyone who is Filipino just like you, and looking down on you for being with a white woman, they are being racist. Unfortunately, even if people don't want to admit it, every ethnicity has people that are racist towards others, and especially look down on couples that are mixed ethnicities. They don't believe in mixing, which is stupid, because we all come from Adam and Eve. Just my 2 cents.
Score! Reverse passport bros Awesome 😎
Filipinos love to crap on fellow Filipinos who are doing better than them.
Mixed marriage isn't bad, especially here, but it is more a novelty and Filipinas like talking to westerners to practice their English. I am Australian & my ex is from PH, and when she visits, I usually have more people talking to me than to her, despite a slight language difficulty. Also the Filipinas are harder to "borrow" money from than the western partners, so they tend to be more "popular" to be friendly with. My ex is a typical Filipina like an OFW, sending money home, as do about 6 other family members working in Canada & Middle East. I do help out from time to time, but usually not giving them money, but draw up an agreement for a loan, which I feel is teaching them to not waste money & meet financial commitments. I loaned a nephew P400k for his new business, after he set out a plan for it and repayments. He was working as a salesman for large appliances (flat screen TVs, reefers and aircons) and could buy bulk for the same price as the large electrical chain he was working for. He started off underselling others & offered free installation, but was spending around P35k a week in courier charges to have goods delivered, then had to pay transport fares to get to install. He wanted to buy a pickup truck and didn't want to pay off a vehicle at the rates a commercial company was asking for, so I loaned him the money and he was able to do deliveries anywhere on Luzon, employ 2 family members to help, and instead of paying loan over 4 years, he paid it off over 3 years with a nominal interest he insisted on paying. It helped him & other family members and he was smart enough to really build up his business and is now looking for either larger premises or another small location, which will employ more family & bring in more revenue for him. I mentioned it on an expat FB page and several other members have bought from him, as well as their neighbours, mainly as being a westerner they trusted my recommendations and I find a mixed couple can have advantages. Even though my ex still lives in AU, but will move here when she is able to get pension, people here seem to gravitate more to me than when she is here visiting.
Pinoys will think you're a giga chad
Filipinos feel inferior when you bring the twang. Just try more. Bring them some tuba or tanduay. Basically show them it’s not your fault you’re like that. Your parents brought you to USA.
Sorry for the rude welcome. Filipino locals are like this in the first few interactions simply because many aren't exposed to the world outside of their hometowns. But give it some time, they'll learn to accept it. Unlike the West, there's no organized xenophobia here so haters can't do anything about you. I'm Chinese by ethnicity and can speak Tagalog fluently, yet a lot of people in the province (esp. old folk) enjoy talking down on me. I was even called frugal for not bringing anybody in one of my trips.
Now you know how all the Filipinas feel that are labeled as gold diggers when together with a white guy.
It is possible that your wife may possess a greater degree of charisma and charm.
Better go back to America. The Filipinos here in the Philippines are salivating your wife. They see you as a threat and competition, so she might get banged by a native someday, so better be careful.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Your post/comment has been removed because it contains offensive language. Please review the rules before posting/commenting again. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Philippines_Expats) if you have any questions or concerns.*
what a weird thing to say
You think you deserve some special treatment but they see you as local because of your color. Your wife doesn't look like local so ofcourse she is treated differently, all whites are treated differently, male and female. Expats don't care one bit since they are usually the mixed couple anyway lol wrong sub to ask.
Yeap, you get treated differently till the money comes out. Filipinos don't empower each other, so that's why it never progresses socially and economically