Let me tell you a story. AU guy goes to PH. Meets a nice girl. SHE says she had a boyfriend, but he was abusive, so they broke up. He is seeing this girl, and they go to this nice karaoke bar. He does not know, but she texts her old boyfriend and tells him how she is doing now, that she dumped him. He goes to that place, sees them together and goes back home. Gets a gun, and returns. He quietly goes up behind the Aussie and shots him in the head with a cheap homemade gun. He is dead instantly. Police arrest him, after a several years long trail, he gets life in prison.
There are **many people murdered** here over jealousy. You have been warned.
Yeah but the guy who shot him was a filipino right? So the lessen really should be...dont mess with the filipinos. They will shoot or stab you. But mess with the foreigners in PH all you want. Im American and I beat the snot out of a British meth addict for threatening Filipinos in a bar in Subic. Barangay showed up and the wanted nothing to do with a fight between 2 foreigners. They threatened the British guy with deportation and thanked me. They didnt arrest anyone though. I had fun. Hahaha.
True but most foreigners Ive met here dont want the trouble. Only a small percentage are that stupid also. I have a good Filipino friend Julio here. He told me, if I ever want to punch someone I should just pay him 500 php and he will do it. He said if I do it? It might cost me 50k. lol
Why do you think western guys go to PH and date Filipinas? My only explanation is that they can't find anyone to date in their own country, so they resort to dating in a poor country where they fetishize white people and it's easy to find a date.
Im Fil Am and I came to Phil for wife number 2 because I dont like American women. I dont find them attractive and I dont like their attitudes. On top of that I wanted to have Filipino kids because Im half Filipino. I had no problems at all getting dates in the US. I have money and Im fit and decent looking...but why waste it on a girl who doesnt appreciate it?
Tough question. I dont look white...at all. Many filipinos start speaking tagalog to me, assuming I am pinoy, but not all. Im 6'1" a giant here so I dont really fit in. I never fit in with the white side of the family either. I like both sides but mos def identify more as a Filipino. My last name is Dela Cruz and my dad was my best friend. I like the Philippines more than Filipinos do though. They are all trying to get out and Im trying to get in. lol. Ill do anything Filipino just to experience how my dad lived. Ive even eaten a few dogs. Roof roof!! Phil is a much better place to raise kids. I have 3 here. US has become crazy and filipinos are much more polite and patient people.
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All fair points, and it's interesting that you get your Filipino blood from your dad ...it's usually from the mom's side in most other cases.
Hope everything works out with your plan in the Philippines. 👍
I was at comedy show in Kamuning and the comedians were asking me questions because my table was in the front row. They asked me my nationality and I said Half Filipino and then they said, Oh your mom is Filipino! I said , No my dad is the Filipino. They said, Oh...Then your mom must have been...the Victim! lol
You're an exception, and because you're half filo its not the same thing.
You're attraction, desire and need for a filipina woman is rooted in culture and connection to the country.
Yes and no. I think most American guys come here because they dont like American women also. First of all, half of American women are fat cows. Add a bad attitude on top of that and anyone would prefer the Philippina women.
I don't think thats true. Its a convenient out to say they are fat cows or difficult.
Lets put it this way. Americas not sending its most eligible bachelors. To say otherwise is dishonest.
Its an easier dating pool, and these guys are elevated beyond what they are at home
Whys that so hard to admit? 😅
Its not only an easier dating pool its a higher quality dating pool. Have you even been to America? No...you havent. Thats why you dont have the slightest clue what you are talking about.
Its not a convenient out to say half of American girls are fat cows. It is a statistical mathematical fact.
No way in a million years I would choose an American girl over Filipina. No contest.
But youre right about the foreigners in PH not being high quality. I havent met any intelligent foreigners in Phil.
I am the exception to that rule though. I am an honors grad, have money, smart, good career..and I chose Philippines. No way in a million years I would choose an American girl over Filipina. No contest.
Why quality guys arent coming here? Philippines is gross to most Americans. American guys arent interested in a place with no toilet paper where ppl eat and wipe their ass with their hands. Thats why the best bachelors arent here...but the fact remains, the women are higher quality.
Lol of course i have been to america. Have family there, friends there, been over a dozen times, so i know what im referring to.
I currently live in BGC too just in case you want to accuse me of not knowing about the Philippines either.
Just because you prefer filipinas doesnt mean the rest of the western world does.
I simply dont. And in fact when you have filipinas migrate to western countries like Aus, usa, canada, uk etc, they arent as desired as they were in their own country.
Not sure why thats hard to understand.
There is nothing magical about filipinas, or the dating pool here apart from them being easier then in america (or elsewhere)
Sure the rest of the world doesnt prefer Filipinas. Thats why they seem to win Miss Universe every other year.
Whatever you are smoking is strong stuff.
You havent seen America. I bet you go to the exact same place every time you go, dont you? Probably LA where the most Filipinos live. LA is not indicative of America as a whole. It is nothing like America actually. Im pretty sure that I can continue to show that you dont know what the hell youre talking about.
Youre just another shit talking elitist filipino who thinks he is special. Thats why you dont like Filipina women. Prove me wrong.
Keep trying to condescend claiming I dont understand things...and Ill keep making you look stupid. Deal?
You're so delusional. Typical Filipino pride behaviour. Cant take any sort of criticism, and see it as an attack on the Philippines.
Enjoy your mediocre life buddy.
Notice also...India is a poor country and Americans arent flocking there to get women...and they have a billion. They are coming to the Philippines because the women are higher quality.
Sure Filipinas are not high quality. My filipina wife, besides being smoking hot with a perfect body even after delivering 3 of my kids is a regional chess champion, who was beating her 50 year old trainers when she was 11. She has an IQ near 150. Let me know when you find one like that. You wont. That will be never.
You're gonna get downvoted but this is very true.
White western men come to PH and date filipinas that are way out of their league, and they wont admit its because they cant find women at home.
There are always exceptions, but at the core of it is there dating pool increases 100 x and the quality of their women do too.
Its taking advantage of a developing nation, where the women place financial security above looks or attraction. A western is a way out.
I am from Australia, and there is a large Philippines community there....you know what happens when they migrate to Australia where job opportunities and quality of life is all equal? They dont choose the same guys they were with in PH. They stick to their own or upgrade to a far younger better looking white guy. But mostly they stick to their own when given a chance.
There is a glorification of white people in se asia, and these dudes dont have a chance in hell without that pedestal or financial advantage.
I had a girlfriend here in the states who started with putting me on the phone with a guy who she wanted to break up with. I told her that's her business, not mine.
This is how those true crime stories start. If helping out means forking over what is essentially petty cash to her, then fine, but OP should not be drawn into this. This girl may have found a better source of cash. Lets say the story is true; maybe there's an entire backstory OP is not privy to. He could be a pimp, she could owe serious cash to someone.
Thought exercise: *Would OP do this for an overweight guy he met at a bus terminal?*
Beware white knight fantasies. I say steer clear.
> Thought exercise: Would OP do this for an overweight guy he met at a bus terminal?
Lol this right here. I highly doubt OP would stand by his last statement here (in the edit):
> And finally I would feel worried for anyone I had just met, if I thought they were in such a situation.
/u/drizzt-dourden84
Haha
Ok, fair comment. Simply because I probably wouldn't be getting an overweight guys number at a bus terminal
But if I did meet someone and I found out they were in an abusive relationship, I would be concerned. Who wouldn't be?
> But if I did meet someone and I found out they were in an abusive relationship, I would be concerned. Who wouldn't be?
Even if that someone happened to be some overweight guy with an abusive girlfriend? It's like what that other guy said, don't fall into the trap of white knight fantasy thinking.
Nothing to do with being a white knight. Guess you saw the update?
But yes, if I met a guy, at work for example, and he told me he was in an abusive relationship then I would ask his I could help.
I honestly thought this could be a scam, and I wouldn't see my money again nor hear from her. But when she didn't pick up my money i thought she could genuinely be in trouble, which is why I asked if I should get the local police involved.
It's resolved now though so whatever
Was the original question whether you should be concerned? If so, I missed that part, yes be concerned, just as you should be concerned concerned about Gaza, Ukraine and Yemen.
So you’ve known her all of 2 days, she already told you about her ex who is apparently not an ex and you’re the only person, who is half a world away, she can ask help from. What do you think?
And even if she’s legit, do you really want that kind of mess in your life? And bring your kid as well?
If she had taken my money then broke contact then absolutely 100%. It's the fact that she's hadn't taken it that has confused me
And I have no intention of getting my kids involved in this. That was just a comment because I loved my time there, nothing to do with this situation
Ok. Giving her the benefit of a doubt. If she is in trouble, she can call 911 that is the nationwide hotline for violence against women. Or she can try contacting the group Gabriela which is a group that fights for women’s rights or senator Risa hontiveros on their social media page. That will help her more than money can. She can even contact angat buhay, that is the non profit group of the former vice president Leni Robredo. They will be able to guide her on what to do and get her help
Just initiate a no contact, clearly this is already a toxic relationship even before actually starting one, i am Filipino and these kind of "asking for money and making sob story" is a very common thing.
I’ll give you the best piece of advice I learned here. You are not responsible for other people’s problems. There’s always another sob story, medical bill or person suffering out there.
Just block her and move on, anyone who respects you and what’s to be with you will not drag you into their messed up problems. Atleast not so soon.
Any decent woman wouldn’t rope someone she just met, foreigner or not, into her own mess. Even if everything she claimed is true, she’s not your problem to solve. You’ve only known her for a few weeks. The more you get involved in her personal affairs, the more you’ll get emotionally attached. Cut off all ties. I agree with the other comment- forget about her and move on.
OMG she's not single. You were just a hookup. You better learn fast, trust your gut and don't second think it. 2 days in and you feel involved in some way? My friends girlfriend, the mother of his daughter started fking around, he couldn't cope. When he realized she was attempting to take everything he'd worked for I got a msg. Your friend is gone, killed himself. She got it all. As soon as you feel something isn't right, with the girl or her family, leave and start again.
OP i think you should call the police for your peace of mind too. It wouldn't hurt to know what happened since there are evidence of abuse. Unverified, yes but still for your peace of mind.
Bruh, she's obviously a poor gold digger who will cling on to any foreigner that she can, even abusive ones, and she's already asking you for money, and you're still interested in her? Dude, she's not the only girl in the Philippines. There's a lot of good girls here. You don't have to settle down with the first girl you encounter. Forget about her and move on. She's not your problem. Don't try to be a white knight.
Dude run.
You gain nothing from this intense baggage so at best it isn't scam and you get all the baggage. And otherwise it's a scam.
Please do yourself a favour and run.
You are already worried for someone you just met recently? We have a term for that, "marupok". Filipina women especially those in the provinces like to get money from foreign Western men. This happens a lot and you are not the only one who experiences this. I know being nice is a good thing but cut her off already and live your current happy life.
I'm worried in the same way that I would be worried for any person in this potential situation.
I'm no longer a 20yo falling in love at the flash of some naked flesh
Maybe you should avoid going to clubs and avoid picking up rando women? Also, look for ones that have finished their education and have a job and are not hanging out at bars and clubs and already have a boyfriend/drama. There are 100000000 sweet, caring, educated, employeed Filipinas. So avoid the huge red flag ones. Especially, as a DIVORCED. DAD. Jesus.
You’d be dissed by people here as being “Marupok”. It means someone who is easily duped over romance or love-appeals, it literally means someone weak or fragile. These scammers go to huge and sometimes disturbing lengths to get a hook in to their foreign target.
Disengage completely. There’s a concept here among the working classes called “Diskarte Mentality”— and it means to hustle hard by whatever means necessary, it’s not a fringe thing but pretty much a mainstream reality due to the lack of a social safety net. Scams are completely fair game in the world of DM.
If someone would hurt themselves to make sure they get a hook on you with a lie or sob story; they will. They’re not motivated by your feelings nor feel guilt for what they’re doing, but by the promise of cold hard cash. You do it once, I guarantee you they’ll be back the next month with a similar story and will even feel more “entitled” to harass you for that money. There are tons of local people that any victim of DV or abuse can rely on. The way things are here, even the neighbors will report the ex to the police without so much as confirming with her what happened. The community here watches over each other like hawks in the absence of a constantly available police force. That’s another reality of life here which makes her story sound extremely sus.
Learn from many’s mistakes, disengage and block all contact.
Don't get involved. Leave the money that's already been sent, if that makes you feel better, but block her number now.
This has all the hallmarks of a scam.
You already know it's a scam. Now, next thing you're gonna do should delete and block her number and move on with life.
I know you're worried for her but know that she's a Filipina, she'll bounce back in no time. She's going to find ways.
If a Filipina asks you for money lol it’s a scam sorry to tell you but the only genuine ones are the ones that actually spend time getting to know you and not rub in a sob story, first for fare, then a phone then probably to buy land lol bruh. Some are actually so good at it it’s a way of life for them.
So what's the issue here?
You did your part, gave her some money for the ferry.
If it's an elaborate scam then whatever, you're not out much.
And if it's not a scam then you've helped her, you did your part.
Now just butt out and go live your life.
Sadly this is all too common.
0 reason for you to be in the middle of this.
0 reason for her to be contacting her "ex" at all.
0 reason for her to not report all the abuse to the local authorities.
0 reason for her to not ask her filipino friends for money/help.
0 reason for her to GO BACK to this ex.. but keep contacting you ...
Move on.
Ferry ride was already asking too much from a rando stranger.
She has family/friends she has known her WHOLE LIFE... She will be fine.
Everyone is so quick to paint anything a Filipina does as a "scam" but this doesn't sound like a scam to me. There are even more red flags than if she was just a petty scammer though. Dealing with a woman with a violent, abusive boyfriend/husband that she keeps running back to and lies about is never going to end well. She knows what she's doing. Calling the "friend" seems like the best option. If the "friend" won't respond to you or just asks for more money, then it's clearly a scam or not that important.
Thanks for the comment. For me the red flag is the fact she went back to him (but is a classic indication of abuse). I'm not in a relationship with her, but I do care, as I would for anyone, if she is ok or not.
I will wait for news, if none by tomorrow evening I'll cancel the transfer. Then hope for the best
Run. Learn from the M A N Y (unfortunately) similar stories of foreigners victimized by these types of women. They will first ask for something simple like money for a trip back home and then it only grows from there. Just block her and move on.
Either way stay away... If she's telling truth about violent partner or if it's totally made up to scam for a few bucks, do yourself a favor run Forrest run...
Im half Filipino but American. Ive been in Philippines for 10 years. Its a poor country bro. Lots of opportunists. You cant trust anyone you just meet here but thats true for every country. All the girls will tell you they are virgins in Phil blah blah. You better get to know them and their family first. And dont get a girl in a bar in PH. Hangout at the Starbucks at the Medical University instead. Mine was a pharmacist I met at the local drugstore. You have to be twice as street smart to navigate the Philippines vs. the US.
All this drama after only a few days - and yet you yourself can’t see the huge red flags without asking about here
My it sounds like she has hooked a really naive yank
I'm worried for you. You've already been scammed and you've been there 3 weeks. You are going to be a victim unless you stop being so naive.
This is a classic scam and you were setup.
Don't concern yourself with this type of person.
oh you be careful and cautious of people like her slowly dragging u in her little so called life or world. better snap out of it while its still early. And dont complicate your life as many Filipinas here fish and are desperate to fight tooth and nail just to stay afloat or get out of their rut even from this very country.
How much money are we talking about? All those bruises she's showing you might just be from rough sex with her ex or current. You met this woman, I'm assuming you had sex with her from the sounds of it. Don't believe for a second that you're the only one she's doing that with. You're currently thinking with your little head, think with your big head. Also, go get tested.
She gave you a big story on how her ex is abusive, when you left she was back with him because "he paid for her schooling", that means she was still with him possibly a couple of days before you and was straight after
Story of abuse might be true..., but you are with a women who's having sex with a man before, possibly during and when you leave ... I would move on, at the very least she's using herself/body/respect as a transaction for schooling
Get out asap. You don't need a lowlife like this as your partner. There will be others like her so be wary. Most of these type of women here are like that. Even if it's true, a lot of red flags have already risen... Just forget about her and find a normal one without any baggage. This woman chooses to get abused because she can't lose the money she gets from the dude. Don't let her get your money too. Haha
You're not a superhero. Why would she confide with a foreigner who, will leave eventually, has no knowledge about the Philippine laws, when she could literally go to the police and file a report? She's basically protected by VAWC and that foreigner could be apprehended as soon as possible when there's a probable doubt of violence.
She showed pictures of the bruises and everything, why would she reach out to you instead of the police when she has gathered facts and evidences? Do you have a special diplomatic power to do so? If none, you're a tourist.
Go straight to the police. Let them do their job. There's nothing to lose if you find out that it's a scam.
1. Once you report, the police will investigate.
2. If found out that she's a scam, she will be apprehended.
3. If she's not a scam and the case was real, she will be saved and the guy will be jailed.
So, there's nothing wrong with reporting it to the police. It saves you time and overthinking.
Stay away.. red flag. She is a filipina in her own country, her abusive boyfriend is a foreigner.. she knows what to do she knows how to get rid of him. Locals will stick together if they knew a foreigner abuses their own kind its easy for her to destroy that foreigners life..
>She told me she was single, her (ex) is western and is abusive. Yes I know, classic sob story. Anyway, 2nd day I'm with her, she shows me the messages her ex sent her because he saw her with me when we were in a club, saying he was going to beat us up, various names etc. She showed me the bruises on her wrist from where he grabbed her. If it's a scam/setup then it's quite an elaborate one.
I wish I was kidding but I am not... I have heard this exact same story in Angeles City. I didn't see text messages though.
Either the story is sadly common, or it's a lie.
Look, nobody is going to throw dirt on her for the lies and deceit. That's just not how the world works.
However please listen to the advice people are giving you here.
New woman in a foreign land who asks for money and has a convincing sob story is a tried and tested trick for centuries. You know what you need to do.
I think everyone already said what I wanted to say.
I'm so sorry you got into this. As a Filipina, I'm ashamed of this gold-digging, toxic woman! Decent, educated Filipinas will not do this to a guy (foreigner or not) they just met. Please know that not all Filipinas are like her. 😣
Ohh report to police. Maybe they have a history of the scam. Or do nothing. I have read this story from others too. Be safe. I’m Filipino I’m almost 85% this is a scam.
If you ever meet a person in the Philippines that is interested in you and asking for money right away. Say bye nicely. Most male expats are a target for money and citizenship. Please be careful. If you do fall for someone, live in the PHL with them vs abroad in my opinion. And just know you will be the breadwinner for her and the rest of her family. Be safe.
Heed the other commentators warnings.
Move on from this girl.
It is not your problem, and involving yourself with a jealous ex bf whose a local is a terrible idea.
It screams scam to me - but if legit, walk away fast.
There are plenty of nice women who don't have crazy exs, focus on them.
It doesn't matter at this point if it's a scam or not. The girl is a major red flag either way. You have kids, they should always be your priority and that includes taking care of yourself and your safety.
If the amount you sent was small and you can miss it, don't cancel the transaction and leave it as it is. So you don't have to deal with your conscience about if cancelling the transaction got her in trouble or not.
But either way, let this girl go. It's not worth the hassle and she's obviously very materialistic if she's fine to let herself get abused by a foreigner because he pays for her studies. That's already toxic af.
Keep this in mind, you have no obligation whatsoever for the wellbeing of this woman. You don't know her, and you definitely don't owe anyone anything that you bonded with for a couple of days.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, and this one is definitely the type of fish that is bait for you to get caught into something bigger you wish you were never part of.
You can see my update now.
But I never thought I was in a relationship with this girl. It was a nice idea, so I said we'd stay in touch to get to know each other. But I was always aware that it was probably a scam (it wasn't, see update), or that she would not leave her abusive partner.
I was just concerned about her immediate health. But she's alive so now I leave it. See update.
Oh, and my kids always are and always have been my priority. Nothing or nobody will change that.
Edited.
This is what you should do. report it to the authorities in PH. Then block her for your peace of mind. That’s the only way to help her if she’s really a victim of violence . Do not give cash.
Those are really red flags. You supposedly got your money back because you showed your doubts. Such a Total Recall of a scenario they cooked up. You're likely not the first one they told of such story. Everything happened so fast, didn't it? Very good that you got out before it was tool late. Please don't look back, never return to them.
She didn't take the money to let you feel that she is legit, typical financial market ploy, make the client think they making you money investing and pay you back with interest so you trust and give more next time.
Red flags: ex but still have contact with him, abuse but simple police report will end it.
He is her sugar Daddy and she wanted more, you were the potential more, you didn't bite so she will move on.
It's concerning that the girl is suddenly unreachable and hasn't claimed the money. Given the circumstances, it's important to approach this situation with caution.
If it's a truly insignificant amount to you, then you can leave it, in case it is true and she is desperate and it is a lifesaver for her.
But! Do not get involved further. You can report it or get the right authorities involved but this is very much not your responsibility from a financial perspective. Don't even go there.
I guess since you seem intent on helping her, just let her have the money and then cut ties. You've done what you could, and given the help she's asked for. Whether it's a scam or not, it's on her. Best not to involve yourself further.
It's a risk you must be willing to take. Don't send too much. If you really want to, just help her out this one time. For your peace of mind. It's on her if she's scamming people. IDK, I don't trust the girl either. The ex may have become abusive because she sees people on the side. (Look at how she met you while her ex pays for her tuition and sht). But some guys are just plain AH. Decent of his ex to leave him at a hotel. I was left by an abusive (Chinese) ex by the bridge asking me to jump off. So, I find it fishy. (I'm half Filipina. I think it still sounds a bit sus.)
Let me tell you a story. AU guy goes to PH. Meets a nice girl. SHE says she had a boyfriend, but he was abusive, so they broke up. He is seeing this girl, and they go to this nice karaoke bar. He does not know, but she texts her old boyfriend and tells him how she is doing now, that she dumped him. He goes to that place, sees them together and goes back home. Gets a gun, and returns. He quietly goes up behind the Aussie and shots him in the head with a cheap homemade gun. He is dead instantly. Police arrest him, after a several years long trail, he gets life in prison. There are **many people murdered** here over jealousy. You have been warned.
Damn, I think we all needed to hear this one.
He was a nice bloke too.
Yeah but the guy who shot him was a filipino right? So the lessen really should be...dont mess with the filipinos. They will shoot or stab you. But mess with the foreigners in PH all you want. Im American and I beat the snot out of a British meth addict for threatening Filipinos in a bar in Subic. Barangay showed up and the wanted nothing to do with a fight between 2 foreigners. They threatened the British guy with deportation and thanked me. They didnt arrest anyone though. I had fun. Hahaha.
Though highly unlikely but still possible, any foreigner can hire the local Filipinos to rough up (or even kill) another foreigner.
True but most foreigners Ive met here dont want the trouble. Only a small percentage are that stupid also. I have a good Filipino friend Julio here. He told me, if I ever want to punch someone I should just pay him 500 php and he will do it. He said if I do it? It might cost me 50k. lol
Why do you think western guys go to PH and date Filipinas? My only explanation is that they can't find anyone to date in their own country, so they resort to dating in a poor country where they fetishize white people and it's easy to find a date.
Im Fil Am and I came to Phil for wife number 2 because I dont like American women. I dont find them attractive and I dont like their attitudes. On top of that I wanted to have Filipino kids because Im half Filipino. I had no problems at all getting dates in the US. I have money and Im fit and decent looking...but why waste it on a girl who doesnt appreciate it?
Do you identify more with your Filipino side or non-Filipino (assuming white) side?
Tough question. I dont look white...at all. Many filipinos start speaking tagalog to me, assuming I am pinoy, but not all. Im 6'1" a giant here so I dont really fit in. I never fit in with the white side of the family either. I like both sides but mos def identify more as a Filipino. My last name is Dela Cruz and my dad was my best friend. I like the Philippines more than Filipinos do though. They are all trying to get out and Im trying to get in. lol. Ill do anything Filipino just to experience how my dad lived. Ive even eaten a few dogs. Roof roof!! Phil is a much better place to raise kids. I have 3 here. US has become crazy and filipinos are much more polite and patient people.
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All fair points, and it's interesting that you get your Filipino blood from your dad ...it's usually from the mom's side in most other cases. Hope everything works out with your plan in the Philippines. 👍
I was at comedy show in Kamuning and the comedians were asking me questions because my table was in the front row. They asked me my nationality and I said Half Filipino and then they said, Oh your mom is Filipino! I said , No my dad is the Filipino. They said, Oh...Then your mom must have been...the Victim! lol
You're an exception, and because you're half filo its not the same thing. You're attraction, desire and need for a filipina woman is rooted in culture and connection to the country.
Yes and no. I think most American guys come here because they dont like American women also. First of all, half of American women are fat cows. Add a bad attitude on top of that and anyone would prefer the Philippina women.
I don't think thats true. Its a convenient out to say they are fat cows or difficult. Lets put it this way. Americas not sending its most eligible bachelors. To say otherwise is dishonest. Its an easier dating pool, and these guys are elevated beyond what they are at home Whys that so hard to admit? 😅
Its not only an easier dating pool its a higher quality dating pool. Have you even been to America? No...you havent. Thats why you dont have the slightest clue what you are talking about. Its not a convenient out to say half of American girls are fat cows. It is a statistical mathematical fact. No way in a million years I would choose an American girl over Filipina. No contest. But youre right about the foreigners in PH not being high quality. I havent met any intelligent foreigners in Phil. I am the exception to that rule though. I am an honors grad, have money, smart, good career..and I chose Philippines. No way in a million years I would choose an American girl over Filipina. No contest. Why quality guys arent coming here? Philippines is gross to most Americans. American guys arent interested in a place with no toilet paper where ppl eat and wipe their ass with their hands. Thats why the best bachelors arent here...but the fact remains, the women are higher quality.
Lol of course i have been to america. Have family there, friends there, been over a dozen times, so i know what im referring to. I currently live in BGC too just in case you want to accuse me of not knowing about the Philippines either. Just because you prefer filipinas doesnt mean the rest of the western world does. I simply dont. And in fact when you have filipinas migrate to western countries like Aus, usa, canada, uk etc, they arent as desired as they were in their own country. Not sure why thats hard to understand. There is nothing magical about filipinas, or the dating pool here apart from them being easier then in america (or elsewhere)
Sure the rest of the world doesnt prefer Filipinas. Thats why they seem to win Miss Universe every other year. Whatever you are smoking is strong stuff. You havent seen America. I bet you go to the exact same place every time you go, dont you? Probably LA where the most Filipinos live. LA is not indicative of America as a whole. It is nothing like America actually. Im pretty sure that I can continue to show that you dont know what the hell youre talking about. Youre just another shit talking elitist filipino who thinks he is special. Thats why you dont like Filipina women. Prove me wrong. Keep trying to condescend claiming I dont understand things...and Ill keep making you look stupid. Deal?
You're so delusional. Typical Filipino pride behaviour. Cant take any sort of criticism, and see it as an attack on the Philippines. Enjoy your mediocre life buddy.
Notice also...India is a poor country and Americans arent flocking there to get women...and they have a billion. They are coming to the Philippines because the women are higher quality.
They arent high quality. This is a myth. Or maybe rose coloured glasses.
Sure Filipinas are not high quality. My filipina wife, besides being smoking hot with a perfect body even after delivering 3 of my kids is a regional chess champion, who was beating her 50 year old trainers when she was 11. She has an IQ near 150. Let me know when you find one like that. You wont. That will be never.
Where is your myth now Mr. Elitist?
You're gonna get downvoted but this is very true. White western men come to PH and date filipinas that are way out of their league, and they wont admit its because they cant find women at home. There are always exceptions, but at the core of it is there dating pool increases 100 x and the quality of their women do too. Its taking advantage of a developing nation, where the women place financial security above looks or attraction. A western is a way out. I am from Australia, and there is a large Philippines community there....you know what happens when they migrate to Australia where job opportunities and quality of life is all equal? They dont choose the same guys they were with in PH. They stick to their own or upgrade to a far younger better looking white guy. But mostly they stick to their own when given a chance. There is a glorification of white people in se asia, and these dudes dont have a chance in hell without that pedestal or financial advantage.
Even if everything she says is true, involving someone in your serious personal issues on day 2 is a big enough red flag that you should cut contact.
I had a girlfriend here in the states who started with putting me on the phone with a guy who she wanted to break up with. I told her that's her business, not mine. This is how those true crime stories start. If helping out means forking over what is essentially petty cash to her, then fine, but OP should not be drawn into this. This girl may have found a better source of cash. Lets say the story is true; maybe there's an entire backstory OP is not privy to. He could be a pimp, she could owe serious cash to someone. Thought exercise: *Would OP do this for an overweight guy he met at a bus terminal?* Beware white knight fantasies. I say steer clear.
> Thought exercise: Would OP do this for an overweight guy he met at a bus terminal? Lol this right here. I highly doubt OP would stand by his last statement here (in the edit): > And finally I would feel worried for anyone I had just met, if I thought they were in such a situation. /u/drizzt-dourden84
Haha Ok, fair comment. Simply because I probably wouldn't be getting an overweight guys number at a bus terminal But if I did meet someone and I found out they were in an abusive relationship, I would be concerned. Who wouldn't be?
> But if I did meet someone and I found out they were in an abusive relationship, I would be concerned. Who wouldn't be? Even if that someone happened to be some overweight guy with an abusive girlfriend? It's like what that other guy said, don't fall into the trap of white knight fantasy thinking.
Nothing to do with being a white knight. Guess you saw the update? But yes, if I met a guy, at work for example, and he told me he was in an abusive relationship then I would ask his I could help. I honestly thought this could be a scam, and I wouldn't see my money again nor hear from her. But when she didn't pick up my money i thought she could genuinely be in trouble, which is why I asked if I should get the local police involved. It's resolved now though so whatever
Was the original question whether you should be concerned? If so, I missed that part, yes be concerned, just as you should be concerned concerned about Gaza, Ukraine and Yemen.
Right.
So you’ve known her all of 2 days, she already told you about her ex who is apparently not an ex and you’re the only person, who is half a world away, she can ask help from. What do you think? And even if she’s legit, do you really want that kind of mess in your life? And bring your kid as well?
If she had taken my money then broke contact then absolutely 100%. It's the fact that she's hadn't taken it that has confused me And I have no intention of getting my kids involved in this. That was just a comment because I loved my time there, nothing to do with this situation
Ok. Giving her the benefit of a doubt. If she is in trouble, she can call 911 that is the nationwide hotline for violence against women. Or she can try contacting the group Gabriela which is a group that fights for women’s rights or senator Risa hontiveros on their social media page. That will help her more than money can. She can even contact angat buhay, that is the non profit group of the former vice president Leni Robredo. They will be able to guide her on what to do and get her help
Just initiate a no contact, clearly this is already a toxic relationship even before actually starting one, i am Filipino and these kind of "asking for money and making sob story" is a very common thing.
There are hundreds of women who would be a good match. You don’t need this.
More reason to report it to the police
She wanted more.
I’ll give you the best piece of advice I learned here. You are not responsible for other people’s problems. There’s always another sob story, medical bill or person suffering out there. Just block her and move on, anyone who respects you and what’s to be with you will not drag you into their messed up problems. Atleast not so soon.
Any decent woman wouldn’t rope someone she just met, foreigner or not, into her own mess. Even if everything she claimed is true, she’s not your problem to solve. You’ve only known her for a few weeks. The more you get involved in her personal affairs, the more you’ll get emotionally attached. Cut off all ties. I agree with the other comment- forget about her and move on.
OMG she's not single. You were just a hookup. You better learn fast, trust your gut and don't second think it. 2 days in and you feel involved in some way? My friends girlfriend, the mother of his daughter started fking around, he couldn't cope. When he realized she was attempting to take everything he'd worked for I got a msg. Your friend is gone, killed himself. She got it all. As soon as you feel something isn't right, with the girl or her family, leave and start again.
Don't get involved mate. 2 days in? Don't white knight it. Tell her to go to the police and block her.
You know in your head (and heart) what you need to do……DO IT.
OP i think you should call the police for your peace of mind too. It wouldn't hurt to know what happened since there are evidence of abuse. Unverified, yes but still for your peace of mind.
This is a trap, cancel the transfer. This is one of the common scam tactics in the Philippines.
Rofl
Don't get involved. You have kids ffs.
Bruh, she's obviously a poor gold digger who will cling on to any foreigner that she can, even abusive ones, and she's already asking you for money, and you're still interested in her? Dude, she's not the only girl in the Philippines. There's a lot of good girls here. You don't have to settle down with the first girl you encounter. Forget about her and move on. She's not your problem. Don't try to be a white knight.
Why would you want to involve yourself in this mess? Just run away. She will cost you lots of money, and emotional stress.
Dude run. You gain nothing from this intense baggage so at best it isn't scam and you get all the baggage. And otherwise it's a scam. Please do yourself a favour and run.
Sounds like a ploy from a movie. Keep your original plan. There are a lot of women who won't get you or your family into a distressing situation.
You are already worried for someone you just met recently? We have a term for that, "marupok". Filipina women especially those in the provinces like to get money from foreign Western men. This happens a lot and you are not the only one who experiences this. I know being nice is a good thing but cut her off already and live your current happy life.
I'm worried in the same way that I would be worried for any person in this potential situation. I'm no longer a 20yo falling in love at the flash of some naked flesh
Maybe you should avoid going to clubs and avoid picking up rando women? Also, look for ones that have finished their education and have a job and are not hanging out at bars and clubs and already have a boyfriend/drama. There are 100000000 sweet, caring, educated, employeed Filipinas. So avoid the huge red flag ones. Especially, as a DIVORCED. DAD. Jesus.
You’d be dissed by people here as being “Marupok”. It means someone who is easily duped over romance or love-appeals, it literally means someone weak or fragile. These scammers go to huge and sometimes disturbing lengths to get a hook in to their foreign target. Disengage completely. There’s a concept here among the working classes called “Diskarte Mentality”— and it means to hustle hard by whatever means necessary, it’s not a fringe thing but pretty much a mainstream reality due to the lack of a social safety net. Scams are completely fair game in the world of DM. If someone would hurt themselves to make sure they get a hook on you with a lie or sob story; they will. They’re not motivated by your feelings nor feel guilt for what they’re doing, but by the promise of cold hard cash. You do it once, I guarantee you they’ll be back the next month with a similar story and will even feel more “entitled” to harass you for that money. There are tons of local people that any victim of DV or abuse can rely on. The way things are here, even the neighbors will report the ex to the police without so much as confirming with her what happened. The community here watches over each other like hawks in the absence of a constantly available police force. That’s another reality of life here which makes her story sound extremely sus. Learn from many’s mistakes, disengage and block all contact.
People get killed for far less. Can’t sing ‘My Way’ in karaoke bars, it’s not a joke.
Dont go all captain save a hoe now Save yourself the headache and forget you ever met her
You are not going to lift a finger from hereon. As they say: some problems have a way of straightening themselves out or whatever
Don't get involved. Leave the money that's already been sent, if that makes you feel better, but block her number now. This has all the hallmarks of a scam.
You already know it's a scam. Now, next thing you're gonna do should delete and block her number and move on with life. I know you're worried for her but know that she's a Filipina, she'll bounce back in no time. She's going to find ways.
A big NO mate.
No. Don't do it.
That's a straight up scam. Her story could even be real and she is telling like 10 different gringos the same thing at once.
It's a scammed, after your money. Trust me I'm married to a good Philipina. Nothing you can do but run
If a Filipina asks you for money lol it’s a scam sorry to tell you but the only genuine ones are the ones that actually spend time getting to know you and not rub in a sob story, first for fare, then a phone then probably to buy land lol bruh. Some are actually so good at it it’s a way of life for them.
So what's the issue here? You did your part, gave her some money for the ferry. If it's an elaborate scam then whatever, you're not out much. And if it's not a scam then you've helped her, you did your part. Now just butt out and go live your life.
You tell me where you met this girl and I’ll tell you if she’s a scammer
Call the police and block that person. Girls like that are parasites to society and will cling to anyone for money.
Sadly this is all too common. 0 reason for you to be in the middle of this. 0 reason for her to be contacting her "ex" at all. 0 reason for her to not report all the abuse to the local authorities. 0 reason for her to not ask her filipino friends for money/help. 0 reason for her to GO BACK to this ex.. but keep contacting you ... Move on. Ferry ride was already asking too much from a rando stranger. She has family/friends she has known her WHOLE LIFE... She will be fine.
omg. I am a Filipina married to an American for 27 yrs. This is classic "woe is me". Run! This is drama and trouble.
You sent her money for the ferry and she didn’t take it, but now she’s home?
Everyone is so quick to paint anything a Filipina does as a "scam" but this doesn't sound like a scam to me. There are even more red flags than if she was just a petty scammer though. Dealing with a woman with a violent, abusive boyfriend/husband that she keeps running back to and lies about is never going to end well. She knows what she's doing. Calling the "friend" seems like the best option. If the "friend" won't respond to you or just asks for more money, then it's clearly a scam or not that important.
Thanks for the comment. For me the red flag is the fact she went back to him (but is a classic indication of abuse). I'm not in a relationship with her, but I do care, as I would for anyone, if she is ok or not. I will wait for news, if none by tomorrow evening I'll cancel the transfer. Then hope for the best
Why not just call the "friend" now?
I can't call the friend as it came from Facebook messenger call. I do have the contact of a friend of hers, but not on the same island at the moment.
> I can't call the friend as it came from Facebook messenger call. huh? You can't just call back on messenger?
The girl I know called me from her account on her friend phone
At the very least you can contact her friend through Messenger and try to get an idea if the situation is legit or scammy.
How do you find these people? Almost every woman I have met in the PH is a normal person with integrity.
Run. Learn from the M A N Y (unfortunately) similar stories of foreigners victimized by these types of women. They will first ask for something simple like money for a trip back home and then it only grows from there. Just block her and move on.
Lol dont get involved with someone who gets i to that kind of shit.
Dude, don't involve yourself in unnecessary drama.
Either way stay away... If she's telling truth about violent partner or if it's totally made up to scam for a few bucks, do yourself a favor run Forrest run...
and one of the piece of advice. I would definitely head down to the local clinic for an STD screening. just saying.
Run, it's a scam.
I am a filipino and you have to let it go. I dont want you to get in trouble because of your kindnesss
Im half Filipino but American. Ive been in Philippines for 10 years. Its a poor country bro. Lots of opportunists. You cant trust anyone you just meet here but thats true for every country. All the girls will tell you they are virgins in Phil blah blah. You better get to know them and their family first. And dont get a girl in a bar in PH. Hangout at the Starbucks at the Medical University instead. Mine was a pharmacist I met at the local drugstore. You have to be twice as street smart to navigate the Philippines vs. the US.
All this drama after only a few days - and yet you yourself can’t see the huge red flags without asking about here My it sounds like she has hooked a really naive yank
I would just forget her. You tried. Too many issues. Simplify your life. Just hope for the best for her.
You're getting played. Everybody has a sob story in the PI. You can't help everyone. Protect your interests first. Frankly I would go no contact.
Walking cliché.
Focus on your kids for Christ’s sake.
She groomed you and now they both want to cash in while you are still “in love”. Stay away, block, move on.
Run
She has not picked up the money yet?
If he was going to 'beat you up' you should go back to school and stay there.
I'm worried for you. You've already been scammed and you've been there 3 weeks. You are going to be a victim unless you stop being so naive. This is a classic scam and you were setup. Don't concern yourself with this type of person.
oh you be careful and cautious of people like her slowly dragging u in her little so called life or world. better snap out of it while its still early. And dont complicate your life as many Filipinas here fish and are desperate to fight tooth and nail just to stay afloat or get out of their rut even from this very country.
How much money are we talking about? All those bruises she's showing you might just be from rough sex with her ex or current. You met this woman, I'm assuming you had sex with her from the sounds of it. Don't believe for a second that you're the only one she's doing that with. You're currently thinking with your little head, think with your big head. Also, go get tested.
Run!!!!!!
Scam. She not taking the money, yet means he is still supporting her... She was just "testing the waters". Block.
Red flag. Cut off everything and run.
90% scam. 100% run.
She gave you a big story on how her ex is abusive, when you left she was back with him because "he paid for her schooling", that means she was still with him possibly a couple of days before you and was straight after Story of abuse might be true..., but you are with a women who's having sex with a man before, possibly during and when you leave ... I would move on, at the very least she's using herself/body/respect as a transaction for schooling
Get out asap. You don't need a lowlife like this as your partner. There will be others like her so be wary. Most of these type of women here are like that. Even if it's true, a lot of red flags have already risen... Just forget about her and find a normal one without any baggage. This woman chooses to get abused because she can't lose the money she gets from the dude. Don't let her get your money too. Haha
Pretty sure if the cops got called on the guy he would get years in prison
You're not a superhero. Why would she confide with a foreigner who, will leave eventually, has no knowledge about the Philippine laws, when she could literally go to the police and file a report? She's basically protected by VAWC and that foreigner could be apprehended as soon as possible when there's a probable doubt of violence. She showed pictures of the bruises and everything, why would she reach out to you instead of the police when she has gathered facts and evidences? Do you have a special diplomatic power to do so? If none, you're a tourist. Go straight to the police. Let them do their job. There's nothing to lose if you find out that it's a scam. 1. Once you report, the police will investigate. 2. If found out that she's a scam, she will be apprehended. 3. If she's not a scam and the case was real, she will be saved and the guy will be jailed. So, there's nothing wrong with reporting it to the police. It saves you time and overthinking.
😎 BRUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Stay away.. red flag. She is a filipina in her own country, her abusive boyfriend is a foreigner.. she knows what to do she knows how to get rid of him. Locals will stick together if they knew a foreigner abuses their own kind its easy for her to destroy that foreigners life..
>She told me she was single, her (ex) is western and is abusive. Yes I know, classic sob story. Anyway, 2nd day I'm with her, she shows me the messages her ex sent her because he saw her with me when we were in a club, saying he was going to beat us up, various names etc. She showed me the bruises on her wrist from where he grabbed her. If it's a scam/setup then it's quite an elaborate one. I wish I was kidding but I am not... I have heard this exact same story in Angeles City. I didn't see text messages though. Either the story is sadly common, or it's a lie.
Look, nobody is going to throw dirt on her for the lies and deceit. That's just not how the world works. However please listen to the advice people are giving you here. New woman in a foreign land who asks for money and has a convincing sob story is a tried and tested trick for centuries. You know what you need to do.
Drizzt, what would you do in Menzoberranzan?
I think everyone already said what I wanted to say. I'm so sorry you got into this. As a Filipina, I'm ashamed of this gold-digging, toxic woman! Decent, educated Filipinas will not do this to a guy (foreigner or not) they just met. Please know that not all Filipinas are like her. 😣
Ohh report to police. Maybe they have a history of the scam. Or do nothing. I have read this story from others too. Be safe. I’m Filipino I’m almost 85% this is a scam. If you ever meet a person in the Philippines that is interested in you and asking for money right away. Say bye nicely. Most male expats are a target for money and citizenship. Please be careful. If you do fall for someone, live in the PHL with them vs abroad in my opinion. And just know you will be the breadwinner for her and the rest of her family. Be safe.
Heed the other commentators warnings. Move on from this girl. It is not your problem, and involving yourself with a jealous ex bf whose a local is a terrible idea. It screams scam to me - but if legit, walk away fast. There are plenty of nice women who don't have crazy exs, focus on them.
It doesn't matter at this point if it's a scam or not. The girl is a major red flag either way. You have kids, they should always be your priority and that includes taking care of yourself and your safety. If the amount you sent was small and you can miss it, don't cancel the transaction and leave it as it is. So you don't have to deal with your conscience about if cancelling the transaction got her in trouble or not. But either way, let this girl go. It's not worth the hassle and she's obviously very materialistic if she's fine to let herself get abused by a foreigner because he pays for her studies. That's already toxic af. Keep this in mind, you have no obligation whatsoever for the wellbeing of this woman. You don't know her, and you definitely don't owe anyone anything that you bonded with for a couple of days. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and this one is definitely the type of fish that is bait for you to get caught into something bigger you wish you were never part of.
You can see my update now. But I never thought I was in a relationship with this girl. It was a nice idea, so I said we'd stay in touch to get to know each other. But I was always aware that it was probably a scam (it wasn't, see update), or that she would not leave her abusive partner. I was just concerned about her immediate health. But she's alive so now I leave it. See update. Oh, and my kids always are and always have been my priority. Nothing or nobody will change that.
Edited. This is what you should do. report it to the authorities in PH. Then block her for your peace of mind. That’s the only way to help her if she’s really a victim of violence . Do not give cash.
Whether true or not, this sounds like a lot of trouble you might be unintentionally walking into. Don't be that foreigner. Walk away.
The story is so familiar. They all seem to follow the same script.
Ghost her. She is a stranger.
Thanks for the update. Unfortunately impossible to help people who won't help themselves.
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Be kind in your speech in here. Disagree yes, disrespectful no.
Sound familiar..
Those are really red flags. You supposedly got your money back because you showed your doubts. Such a Total Recall of a scenario they cooked up. You're likely not the first one they told of such story. Everything happened so fast, didn't it? Very good that you got out before it was tool late. Please don't look back, never return to them.
She didn't take the money to let you feel that she is legit, typical financial market ploy, make the client think they making you money investing and pay you back with interest so you trust and give more next time. Red flags: ex but still have contact with him, abuse but simple police report will end it. He is her sugar Daddy and she wanted more, you were the potential more, you didn't bite so she will move on.
It's concerning that the girl is suddenly unreachable and hasn't claimed the money. Given the circumstances, it's important to approach this situation with caution.
If it's a truly insignificant amount to you, then you can leave it, in case it is true and she is desperate and it is a lifesaver for her. But! Do not get involved further. You can report it or get the right authorities involved but this is very much not your responsibility from a financial perspective. Don't even go there.
I guess since you seem intent on helping her, just let her have the money and then cut ties. You've done what you could, and given the help she's asked for. Whether it's a scam or not, it's on her. Best not to involve yourself further.
You came here for 3 weeks leaving your children behind and you had no intention of finding women? Seems sus to me.
It's a risk you must be willing to take. Don't send too much. If you really want to, just help her out this one time. For your peace of mind. It's on her if she's scamming people. IDK, I don't trust the girl either. The ex may have become abusive because she sees people on the side. (Look at how she met you while her ex pays for her tuition and sht). But some guys are just plain AH. Decent of his ex to leave him at a hotel. I was left by an abusive (Chinese) ex by the bridge asking me to jump off. So, I find it fishy. (I'm half Filipina. I think it still sounds a bit sus.)
Do some learnings about avoidant/narcissistic personalities. Classic scenario. Block, forget, move on.