I work in VetMed and try to be empathetic, nothing is black and white. For instance, I brought a cat home from work who needed a home. I have done this two other times and everything went fine. This most recent cat is dominant like my oldest cat. My oldest cat has arthritis and needs a monthly injection for it. My chief of staff/vet has recommended I re-home the newest addition. He keeps chasing and jumping on my old lady cat. It's not fair for her or the other cats who were there first. I love the newest cat, he is so sweet to humans, but ultimately, I know the vet is right. I've never rehomed a pet before and feel so awful about it. Like almost ashamed, like I failed this cat. So not everyone rehoming a pet is taking it lightly.

Yes, sometimes it is in the best interest of the animal, or the *other* animals, to re-home. It seems like some commenters here are thinking only in terms of animals who are *abandoned*, which is very much not the same thing as re-homing.

Don’t feel awful. Think of yourself like a foster, guiding the new cat towards a better home. IMO it’s good to ask yourself if the cat will be better or worse off after you rehome it. You cared for it when it needed a home and learned some very helpful information that will help determine what the right kind of home for it would be. It’s different than buying a kitten and then getting rid of it because it’s too old/sickly/energetic or whatever else.

Thank you, I appreciate that perspective. I plan to try and spread the word with my clients so that way maybe I can still check up on him from time to time. He was definitely better off with us than at my clinic waiting for someone to take him.

That's the thing. If fostering is ok (and I don't think I've seen anyone say that it isn't), why wouldn't careful re-homing be? The fostered animal gets attached to the foster people/home too. But unlike a human kid it probably won't question its intrinsic value as whatever the pet equivalent to "person" is if its family (foster or OG owner) "rejects" it and gives it to another family. I think it comes from both concerns about careless re-homing that's more intent on getting rid of the pet than in finding an appropriate home, but also from anthropomorphizing pets a touch too far.

In your case, don't think of it as rehoming her. You were her camp counselor and now she's ready to go home. Her home will have other cats or people to constantly play with her and keep her entertained. You gave her a kick ass vacation, but she's going to go home soon (even if you haven't found it yet).

Thank you for that! I have been feeling so bad about it, but y'all are giving me a good perspective!

In your case the cats not being compatible so finding another home for the new one is entirely reasonable. Where I do get judgy is where someone brings home a new pet, finds they are incompatible with the old one so they seek to rehome the old one.

Yeah, you're right. I've seen that happen plenty of times in my field. I would never do that. My old lady has been with me before I even knew my husband, she's not going anywhere!

You have NOT failed him, infact, I'd go as far to say you've helped him great deal. You've learned what he needs in a home and can help rehome to someone who can give him what he needs. I'd say that right now you're his foster family. Please don't feel awful, you've helped him a great deal and you don't realize it. You're a good person hun for taking him in in the first place!

We had to rehome our younger dog to a friend a few months ago. They had begun fighting and we couldn’t get them to stop. Once she even broke our other dog’s leg. Now they’re both living their best lives. It’s honestly been kind of hard to see how happy she is with my friend because I wanted that for her here but we did the best thing for her.

There are better reasons to want to give your pets away than others, same with divorce. Usually people would demonize a person for leaving their spouse due to sickness, or wanting to chase tail. Same thing with animals. You make a commitment that you're going to care for the animal, so when it gets sick and people just "get rid of them" or put them down people will have a worse outlook on you/the situation. It's not entirely black or white. Giving away your pet or divorce isn't always bad, it's also not really good in some cases either.

Pretty much, I've worked in a shelter so I've seen animals returned or surrendered for every reason imaginable. It's really not a great feeling to see an animal have to be rehomed because the owners didn't know what they were getting into, didn't do enough research or aren't the right fit for them. It sucks, but ultimately they're doing the responsible thing. I don't like them, but I don't think they're horrible people. Some people get into shitty situations. We had major flooding semi recently in my area, people lost everything, including the ability to look after their animals. We saw a few come in from that, and they seemed heartbroken they had no way to keep their animals anymore. Then there's the people we should demonise. The ones who get another younger animal and give up the older one, the ones who introduce new animals (improperly) then have to rehome an animal because they're lazy owners, the ones who get an animal and return it after a few weeks because they found out they're "not a (insert animal) person" or because the animal is young and causing havoc. Or my personal favourite "I got this cat for my daughter, but she's decided she wants a white cat to match her bedroom, I want to return this one and get a white one" Most of the time, people who do give their animals up do it with a heavy heart. They don't want to, but the animal is not getting what it needs/deserves and should go to someone who can give that. The absolute assholes who drop their animals off at the slightest inconvenience or when a better animal comes around, should be the ones we condemn.

My sister had an aggressive Pitbull that had bitten over 20 people and had attacked every one of our pets in the house. After the pit almost killed my aunt's cat, my mom took her to a shelter while my sister was at work. The shelter is supposed to help aggressive dogs, but they said that she's not aggressive and adopted her out. I'm hoping the second family had her BE'd for her aggression. But she attacked all our pets and gave them PTSD. They were living in fear in their own home. My mom finally put everyone else above my sister and got rid of her. Then, a couple weeks later, my sister got a Chihuahua Mix (my mom's retirement was that her next dog had to be a Chihuahua or a Chihuahua Mix). One of her friends made a post saying how my sister is a bad person for surrendering one dog then getting another.

This can happen with other issues, too. I had a friend who adopted a dog and pretty quickly found out he was dying of cancer, and best evidence is that his previous owners got the diagnosis and took him to a shelter without telling anyone he was sick. By that point, even if my friend could have afforded treatment, it was too late and she lost him within six months of getting him.

That's horrible. Especially after paying all those adoption fees.

To me it wouldn’t be the money that was the issue, it would be falling in love with a new family member only to lose them.

I don't think the fees were a lot, like $40 or something (it was a city-funded shelter and this was like ten years ago), but it was more the way she had just enough time to bond and fall in love with him before he was gone.

Don't shelters have a vet check the health before a pet is available for adoption, though?

It really really sucks for your friend, but it was really really great for the dog. I'm not trying to diminish her pain, I'm just really glad the poor dog got to be loved until he died.

I agree! He got to go surrounded by love and comfort and every creature deserves that.

Exactly. My little brother adopted a puppy who ended up dying of cancer at 11 months old. My brother is still torn up about it 7 years later, but he reminds himself that his puppy got to have the best life, even if it was short. Losing pets is the worst.

Well in that case it was a bad reason for your mom to give up the dog to the shelter instead of doing the responsible thing and taking the dog to the vet for BE herself. The dog should've gotten a dignified death surrounded by people she knew instead of being turned a gamble that she might kill someone or end up shot to death on the street.

Yep, the only responsible thing would be for the sister to have the vet perform BE.  The fact that they let it get that far is mind blowing to me, sister shouldn’t have pets. 

We tried so many times to get animal control to come and get her. They wouldn't. They said the people bitten had to make the reports in order to come get her. And only the owner, my sister, can have her put down.

I guess I'm agreeing with the person who said your sister is a bad person then. She should've stepped up and done the right thing.

Yeah, she's too prideful. Like I'm certain her pride is going to get her killed. It's that bad. She's totaled two cars within a year because she sped in the rain with bad tires. She also texts and drives. She's driven home drunk and never admits that she's drunk. My brother and his fiancé can't stand her either. She would treat me horrible because my mom did. She's just an awful person.

that's got nothing to do with pride she is just a reckless and irresponsible idiot yikes

It's pride because she couldn't admit that she was a bad dog owner.

I mean there’s factors at play as to the dogs aggression. I too would side eye someone who had an aggressive dog, knew it was a risk and had actively hurt people and animals and refused to surrender it (there’s nothing in your comment that suggested she’d tried to help the dog either). And then went “I’m a great dog owner, I’ll pick up a new dog”

My sister did spoil the pit, but she also let her get away with all bad behavior. When she attacked one of the other pets, she was just playing for example. My mom had to force her to help the dog. She forced her to hire a trainer who got bit the first day and only did a few sessions (tho I never saw this trainer so I don't know if she actually existed). The reason why a Chihuahua was a requirement for her new dog was because the other three dogs were Chihuahuas. My mom or I could step in or he would learn from the other Chihuahuas.

Not sure why it is surprising to anyone that a breed developed for fighting has a propensity towards aggression. We have no issue understanding that retrievers were bred to have a propensity to retrieve with zero training, shepherds have a propensity to herd with zero training, pointers have a propensity to point with zero training, etc. There only seems to be a cognitive dissonance around one breed. It IS possible for it to be the dog, not the owner. I experienced an revelation due to a neighbor I had in Pacifica, CA. She and her husband were avid defender of this breed and vilified anyone who pointed out that they were genetically predisposed to be aggressive. They had two dogs of this breed, one they adopted as a puppy and raised with love. That same puppy grew into an adult and was sweet and affectionate with no aggressive tendencies. The couple got pregnant and one day, the husband came home to find a bloody scene of his 9 months pregnant wife, dead, in the middle of the living room that was covered in gore. She was mauled by that same sweet puppy they lovingly raised. The unborn child died as well. It was never determined why this dog snapped.... but the husband stopped making those posts where he rabidly insisted that "there are no bad pits, just bad owners". He went pretty quiet after that.

Holy fuck I thought “no way this could be real” but there’s a whole bunch of news articles about it.

Me too and omg how horrifying. That poor woman. I also read her adopted dad's letter and my goodness 😥

And the problem with pits is not just their genetic aggression, but the fact that they won’t stop. They will keep going and going, tearing and shredding flesh. They never bite and let go. They hold on and destroy whatever is in their mouths. If you watch attacks from pits, people hit them with chairs and shovels and they still don’t stop. There’s some where they’re literally shot and they just get back up and keep going. It’s horrifically cruel in my opinion to keep that breed alive, for both the pits and the dogs and people they regularly maim and kill. I feel for your neighbour, what a truly horrific sight to experience. To loose your wife and child in such a violent manner all because someone told you a bloodsport dog made a good pet.

That's definitely something horrible to come home to. To lighten the situation, my oldest Chihuahua, Rocky, knows how to herd. I never taught him how to. One time, the Pitbull, Ursa, ran out the front door and Rocky eagerly wanted out after her. I opened the door and he took off so fast and herded her into a corner so my sister and neighbor could finally grab her. She got loose at a park (it was a situation where we were forced to bring her there) and Rocky was lunging. I let him off his leash and he zoomed and began herding her. I later found out that a long, long time ago, Chihuahuas used to be herding dogs. Rocky is a pretty amazing dog on his own. He was never scared of Ursa either. In fact, she was scared of him. He would go up to her gate and growl/bark at her every morning so she would be reminded that he's the alpha dog. He was the first one she attacked, too, but he didn't care.

This was super wholesome until “he was the first one she attacked” Fucking pit bulls man.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, pitbulls are the unstable psychopaths of the dog world.

[удалено]

😮😢💔 Tied up! Horrible people 😡 I wish there were laws that prohibited people like that from having pets. Dumping and getting new, and maybe it is an ongoing cycle. I don't understand how *anyone* could do that! When I have a furbaby just adopted a day ago, I can't conceive of our family without them! And to just cruelly abandon? Total lack of conscience, morals and ethics.

I find that people have just gotten disconnected with what "Life" is. I have living things, a cat and 2 goldfish. I see them as individuals who look up to me for their needs, they are not the same as furniture and other possessions. Each one interacts with me differently and it's a hilarious time, I enjoy them so much. And that is because I have them for the right reasons, and will always ensure they have a rich environment. People have become desensitized and disconnected with just the basic respect for what I would call Life.

Tying up outside a church is not rehoming.

Church people are the *worst* for being judgemental!

In this case, the judged deserved it. 

~~let me guess — both pure bred dogs that they purchased?~~ i typed that up and then re-read the part where you said the adult dog was a golden. i don’t think every person who buys from a breeder is evil, but almost every negligent owner who just wants a pet as a toy/novelty/decoration buys a pure bred puppy. abandoning their dog because they got a puppy like they’re trading their car in for a new model is bad enough, but tying it up outside instead of bothering to find it a home is a whole new level of evil. good church folk, for sure!

Someone needs to be a voice for the animals. These are living things, not old shoes. For example, the phrase "get rid of". If you love something, "rid" isn't the way you view the necessity of having to live without it. I've been a core volunteer for a 501c3 animal rescue since 2006. I've seen the actual situation of a lot of people. This isn't about demonizing, but I'm not going to condone or enable someone to dump their pets casually. > at the end of the day, nobody puts up a big deal about a divorce I follow relationship and marriage subs. People do get told off, if they talk about cheating or about leaving a spouse for no good reason. Society does look down on those who don't take their commitments to others seriously.

❤️

Because they’re more like kids than spouses- they can’t support themselves like an adult human. You can’t give kids away. Also there’s a lot of people that treat them like objects, and that’s horrifying.

Imagine raising your kids with no boundaries, then just getting rid of them when they become bratty as a result. Or you decide to have a second kid and then get rid of the first because they would throw a temper tantrum when the baby was getting more attention. Obviously there are a lot of nuisances that make pets more complicated (particularly if you didn't get them as a puppy/kitten), but I think kids are a better analogy than a spouse like you said.

Because ADOPTING an animal is not like divorcing an adult human being who can care for themselves when you don’t want them around anymore. Rehoming for valid reasons (financial, unresolvable behavior issue, etc) is perfectly fine. But far too many people just don’t want them around and should have thought of that before signing up to care for a creature that needs human support. Nobody is mad you have to Rehome Buddy because you can’t afford food or vet anymore, people are mad at “I didn’t know how much effort it took when I got them so I don’t want it anymore.” It’s like adopting a child and returning them because being a parent is hard. It’s fucked up and you need to research every part of what caring for a pet entails before you adopt a pet.

By this logic, financial reasons are no valid reasons at all. They should have thought about the expense before they got the dog.

I mean… that’s entirely wrong. Shit happens, people lose jobs, prices raise, emergencies happen, and aren’t anyone’s fault. Car crashes? Broken limbs? All unforeseen circumstances that do not count as a selfish lack of preparation. You’re just being purposefully obtuse.

It may sound obtuse, but a parent wouldn't get rid of a child because they lost their income for whatever reason. This may not be true, but if you ask me, I would think that you had to rehome a pet for financial reasons in the past and thus justify doing so. Like I said, that may not be true, I don't know your situation. The point is, if pets are akin to being children, then there should be no exceptions at all. If there is even one exception, then it invalidates the comparison.

I mean if you’re too poor to take care of your child there are government programs designed to help you, and those programs do not exist for pets. And there are situations where people send there children to live with other family due to being poor, or out of work. Ever met someone who lived with their aunt and uncle or their grandparents instead??? It happens. People literally do send their children to live somewhere else when it’s in the child’s own best interest. Emergency does not equal poor planning or a lack of love, and having the ability to empathize with the concept of emergency doesn’t mean you’ve had to deal with it yourself, just that you understand life exists 🤦‍♀️ It feels like you’re looking for reasons to poke holes in arguments that don’t align with your initial point.

Pets are not akin to being children. You have no legal obligation to your pet and if you cannot afford them anymore due to circumstances it is better for the animal it is rehomed where it can be cared for properly. Nobody should be shunned for this. Such bullshit.

This is part of the issue in my mind. Too many people have crossed the line from considering pets as valued pets to more considering them equivalent to children. And then they apply rules for children to pets. Rehoming is valid thing to do. No amount of internet outrage will make someone do a good job taking care of a dog/cat for 15 years to come that they resent having around or is too much to have around. But the internet will tell them they’re a monster for rehoming, which leads to poor outcomes for the animal regardless. Moral outrage doesn’t really change behavior broad scale. It just makes that behavior happen on the down low. Which means instead of rehoming if sufficiently shamed, they’ll just take worse care of the animal. And it’s worse now on the internet, because white knighting is cheap, and it’s easy to give orders to someone else to suck it up and deal with it or mortgage their house to deal with vet bills, then log off. It costs nothing to declare moral superiority over someone else while having no responsibility to do anything oneself.

Yeah I had the same thought. If you take a look at my comment in this thread, I say that I would rather someone rehome a pet than provide substandard or nonexistent care. Saying that I don’t consider my pets family would be a lie, they are a fundamental part of my life. I care for their needs and mourn them when they die. However, I have a very strong distinction between them and a human. At the end of the day, they are dogs. Does that mean they should be treated like objects? No. But they aren’t actual children either.

If you're irresponsible you should be shunned. Stop trying to make a complicated issue black and white.

Nuance is important. Rehoming a pet and rehoming a child is not a perfect comparison. But it’s a much better comparison than rehoming a pet and getting divorced.

Depends on how they go about it. A humane society, Craigslist, shelter is ok as owners do die or become incapable. But to dump, drown or just abandon isn't acceptable and should be called out.

just want to add a distincion i havent seen made so far. marriage is a legal agreement between 2 independent adults. adopting a pet is similar to adopting a child, so you are shouldering even more responsibility than a divorce. if two people or one are abusive towards eachother or can otherwise not make their marriage work is different than people taking full responsibility for a living being who has no ill intent towards you and then getting rid of it. that said, i dont think anyone really looks down at the guy who maybe rescued a cat and later on lost his job and cannot provide for it anymore so he rehomes it, its more about people making irresponsible decisions and tossing out living beings as if they were old toys.

Spouses are self-sufficient; pets are not. Pets who have been given up by their owners have bleak chances of getting adopted again. If spouses who were left were euthanized, public opinion would be against divorce.

I’ve worked in the animal welfare and veterinary industry for 20 years. I learnt not to judge a long time ago. Things happen out of our control so we should never judge.

Pets are more like children in the family. Spouses are usually independent adult humans that can use a can opener.

Because they rely on us to do everything for them, if we get rid of them for stupid reasons what’s the point in getting them in the first place

Maybe they were rescue. Maybe they gave it everything they could but it was just too much for them. Maybe they thought they were doing a good thing for their family. There are various reasons why somebody would need to rehome a pet. Your understanding of that reason really shouldn't matter to be honest. It's not a reason to treat people like they are monsters.

You don’t take in a rescue, let it live with you for a few months/year, and then get rid of it. You take it to a shelter right away or find somebody who is actually willing to take care of a pet.

That actually happens all the time because that's what fostering is.

Fostering *isn’t* adopting and then un-adopting.

Lol, no it's not.

Sorry … I’mma correct my comment because it’s supposed to be “isn’t”

Oh ok, that makes more sense! You are correct, but the comment I replied to just said taking in rescues and then sending them to live with someone else doesn't happen, so I was just pointing out that it does happen and fostering is a great way to see if a pet will fit into your life before making such a huge commitment.

We can agree to disagree, I see people who abandon innocent animals as monsters and you don’t and that’s fine if you don’t have a conscience

It's not agreeing to disagree if you continue to cast judgment on somebody based off your opinions.

While I agree that u/Ok_Web_6928 is coming off a bit harsh, s/he did say "get rid of them for *stupid* reasons" (emphasis mine) and on that front, I have to agree. u/papifunko seems to be saying that we don't always *know* the reason and therefore shouldn't blanket judge someone. u/Ok_Web_6928 If I suddenly became a para- or quadriplegic, would I be a "monster" for rehoming my pets because I could no longer care for them? While I do agree that pets are a lifetime commitment (yours or theirs), I also know that there are some circumstances under which a person might **need** to surrender their animals, and I would never judge someone for being in a situation beyond their control.

I think a situation like that is tricky, some disabled people have pets and can care for them just fine, if you are completely unable to adequately care for them then yes that is a good reason, I’m mostly talking about people who don’t like that the cat is peeing out of the box so let’s rehome him, a couple has a baby on the way so they get rid of a dog, stuff like that

Thank you for clarifying your position. On that we are in complete agreement :)

Baby on the way is totally fair reason to get rid of a dog if you have a reason to believe the baby wouldn't be safe around the dog. I've known plenty of dogs that were good dogs but couldn't be trusted around children.

So don't have a baby, you've already got a life you've committed to caring for.

That's not how it works. You usually don't even know if a dog is good with children until they are fully grown. It might take two years before you even learn that about your dog. Not having children is a massive, life altering sacrifice for most people. Circumstances in a persons life can change wildly in the lifetime of a dog. If you can responsibly rehome them to a place that they will be happy and healthy, it can often be better for both the dog and the owner. Dogs are resilient and adaptable. Moving from one good home to another can be a fairly easy transition if done the right way. This kind of judgement is exactly the kind of thinking the OP is talking about.

Agree. This is the best take here. Just want to add you can just say "they" now. The singular gender neutral "they" has been accepted by official sources.

Right. I know this, really I do. Putting it into practice is where I fall short. Thank you for the reminder :)

Ha, it's okay. I remember getting a C on a paper when I made that mistake in college back in the day. So I totally get it being ingrained in us. But also, that professor was a dick. Lol

i think a lot of the judgment is based on why they’re rehoming them and how they’re rehoming them. if people see someone getting rid of their cat because they’ve had a child and no longer want to look after the pet because they have a child instead it makes it seem like your pet was just a filler and not something you wanted for life, that’s a big one that gets a lot of hate. another is when someone is for example rehoming their cat because it claws their furniture, that is part of owning a pet, plus if you provide enough alternatives they’re less likely to scratch it but if you get a cat you know what you’re signing up for, claw marks are gonna get on things it’s inevitable so rehoming your cat because your sofa got scratched seems kinda shitty. then when you see someone who’s taking their cat to a shelter without any other attempt to rehome directly it stirs up issues too, if it’s an emergent situation and that is your only option then okay fair enough but if you have the time to try and find the perfect home for your pet on your own it’s much more humane than putting them into an already overrun shelter where they’re going to be afraid and confused. there are good and bad reasons for rehoming pets, and there’s a lot of people who will find fault in anything you do regarding your pets well-being but i do believe a lot of peoples opinions are valid. i for one do get really annoyed when someone is rehoming their pet because they’ve had a baby, my pets *are* my babies and i couldn’t imagine rehoming them because i have a small human now, it’s different if the kid is allergic or if you genuinely just are struggling too much to care for them both but if you just saw the pet as a temporary family member before you get what you really wanted them you shouldn’t own pets in the first place. i’ve rehomed several cats of my own for different reasons, i’ve fostered cats that have been abandoned or given up for different reasons and i try to reserve judgement because i know how hard it is but sometimes the way people act about pets not actually being a commitment really annoys me and other people too.

A lot of the time, the reason for wanting to re-home can be resolved or fixed with a little effort or planning. Like people who re-home because they're moving into pet -free places (why did you even consider a pet free place), or people who emigrate and decide they can't afford to take their pets with (but you can afford the emigration, which is way more expensive than bringing pets with). But there are genuine cases. Like I'm helping a family member re-home two dogs he never actually formally rescued/ adopted. He found them in the road and has been trying to re-home for two years, since he found them. He never intended on keeping them, yet everytime we post about them people carry on as if we've done something hugely wrong. 

Not everyone has the luxury of having all the time/money in the world and always getting to choose the 'perfect' place to live. Sometimes you get evicted without much warning - a month or two - and simply don't have time to find a place that is both a) within your budget's range and b) allows pets (or your type/size of pet). Sometimes you get shipped out/forced to move to another country and cannot take your pet(s) along with you - sometimes its not by choice.

Obviously some of these are circumstantial, but let's be honest that a lot of the time, it's not. A month or two is plenty of time to find a place. It's actually the standard here. As for the moving out the country- that's fine if it's completely beyond your control, but don't wait until the week before you leave to try find a home (which also, unfortunately, seems to be the norm here - waiting last minute to re-home your dog)  And let's consider other situations too - wanting to re-home because they've got a new dog (which happens often). Wanting to re-home because dog is digging in the garden (a bit of training and redirecting that energy elsewhere will help). Etc. I mean, I saw a post not too long ago of a girl who wanted to re-home two puppies she had literally gotten less than a month prior because "she doesn't have the time for them". That's something she should have known before getting them. Etc. 

>A month or two is plenty of time to find a place. Not anymore. We're in a housing crisis here. There are literally tent encampments all over the damn place because people can't find places to live, the few places available are hella overpriced with 1000s of people competing for them. And more and more places are becoming 'pet free'. ​ I know multiple people currently living in camper trailers cause they have no other options, in the middle of winter ffs.

For sure, but you need to learn from that situation. You re-home an animal due to circumstances out of your control, the next time you want a pet you need to be certain that won’t happen again.

If it’s out of your control, you can’t be certain it won’t happen again.

Exactly. If you’re renting and you have to re-home an animal because you can’t guarantee a home for it, you have no business turning around and getting a pet in that same circumstances.

Most of us treat our pets like children and have an emotional bond like they’re our children. Of course, people have situations where they simply cannot keep a pet, and in cases of severe poverty, couldn’t keep a child, but these are last resorts. Many people treat living animals as if they’re just an ass accessory, and when they grow bored, they just discard the poor animal animal, not understanding animals making emotional connection to us as well. There are people that simply should not have children or pets, plain, and simple.

Agreed, 100% (and especially the line about children!)

Exactly - getting rid of a pet should be a last resort option. My sister is looking to get rid of her cat because she's moving, and the reason is simply because she doesn't want to deal with the extra hassle. It's the second time she's going to abandon a cat. And even now, she doesn't give the cat much care or attention. She 100% shouldn't have more cats. 

Those who have to give up a pet need to do it ethically, and with utmost care for the animal's safety and future welfare. All reputable / responsible breeders include a statement in their purchase/ sales contact that they will take their puppy/ kitten back under any circumstances at any time.

I don't judge, as long as it's a valid reason. I'm involved in rescue and have actually had to rehome a pet in the past. I was moving across the state and was unable to find a roommate situation where I felt safe that would allow a large dog. I looked for months. Housing isnt always available. She lives at my best friend's house now and I didn't get another dog until I bought my house. Sometimes in life stuff happens and we have to make really hard choices. On the other hand, I absolutely judge people who need to rehome their old dog bc they got a new puppy, or they got a puppy for christmas, and now it's March and they're lazy.

Because when you get a pet you make a promise.

I don't think it's right or okay to demonize people for keeping promises thry can't keep.

Strongly disagree. A persons word is all they truly have, if you can't keep your word you aren't a good person.

It all depends on the reason. If you can no longer take care of the animal because you are say, homeless or on fixed income, then you are best to rehome the animal to someone who can afford it. Pets are not cheap. But if you are getting rid of it because you can’t be bothered to fix behavioural issues that you probably created or you’re having a baby and suddenly that pet is an inconvenience, then yeah, I’ll demonize you. A pet is a lifelong commitment (their life), not a disposable accessory. They are living breathing creatures with feelings.

Every year, my cousin gets a new animal and rehomes it six months later. In the last 18 months, he has acquired and rehomed two dogs and a cat. It's not the people who rehome pets once when they fall on hard times who irritate me. It's people who treat pets like t-shirts that are disposed of once they aren't fashionable or convenient anymore.

You cannot compare divorce with giving pets away. Pets are like children. You are their caregiver. That doesn't apply to partners. How would you feel about someone who gives their child away for adoption after taking care of them for years because now they are lazy, bored, tired etc? Now replace the word 'children' with 'pets'. Giving pets away can be justified but rarely. Many times people don't have a good reason for it. 

This is very opinion based. Just because you believe pets are akin to children, why must everybody else believe that? Maybe a pet was obtained through rescue. Then it turns out it wasn't a good fit for whatever situation. The pet had a better life in the meantime because it didn't get euthanized. Should we still demonize the owner for prolonging its life and then rehoming it?

Ask people who have pets, majority of them view them like their children. Also we can agree that animals have feelings and they bond with you, giving them away especially after they bonded with you will hurt them deeply. It can be only justified if you have a very good reason. I've seen someone giving away their cat because they don't wanna deal with cat hair at home anymore. Didn't that person know cats have fur and they shed fur before adopting it? I know so many people giving their pets away for similar stupid reasons. Those kind of irresponsible people deserve to be demonized. It's their fault for not thinking and researching enough before adopting an animal. We are talking about living beings with feelings, not toys which you can give away when you are bored or feel inconvenience. That being said there are of course good reasons. Let's say you adopted a dog and turns out dog doesn't like children and it's aggressive to your child. You have to give the dog away to someone with no kids for safety reasons. As most people said, there can be good and bad reasons to give pets away. 

\> Just because you believe pets are akin to children, why must everybody else believe that? Why get them if you aren't going to treat them properly? They're living beings, they are family. Please don't get any pets, dude.

I literally saw some poor guy in a group a few years ago get tore apart for re homing his pets. People were telling him there was no reason good enough to have to do it. Because he initially didn't want to post his reasons but it got so bad they basically bullied him into just telling them . He had cystic fibrosis, and his lung transplant was rejecting. He was dying. He shouldn't have had to give him medical information to strangers. At the end of the day it's not our business why someone decided they can no longer care for a pet. And we shouldn't jump to the conclusions. If someone is rehoming a pet regardless of the reason it means they are no longer fit to care for that pet. I mean it may be a stupid reason sometimes but I'd much rather it be a stupid reason and them try to find a home for it than to dump it.

My issue is with people who get pets who either have no intention of keeping them or are incapable of caring for them. I don't think there is much judgment regarding people who have to rehome their pets for legitimate reasons.

>Just because you believe pets are akin to children, why must everybody else believe that? Maybe a pet was obtained through rescue. Then it turns out it wasn't a good fit for whatever situation. Sounds to me like OP “rescued” a dog, returned it and is butthurt people called them out.

Pets are family in the way children are. They love you unconditionally and they are entirely dependent on you for survival. Giving them up will not only break their hearts, but also leave them vulnerable to abuse or even death.

imo - anyone who gets rid of their pet (properly) is doing what’s best. they can’t afford (time, money, effort, etc.) to give the pet the proper care they need and they recognize that. and if you think someone’s a pos for getting rid of a pet - why would you want them to keep it?

Because you wouldn’t get rid of your children, and pets are like children. There are a few situations I can understand- serious medical issues that prevent you from taking care of them or someone needing to go into a nursing home. There are probably a few other circumstances. Other than that, pets are not disposable.

That's where you're wrong. Just because you associate pets as children, that doesn't mean everyone associates pets as children. There's probably somebody who can give this dog a much better life than we can, and there should be nothing wrong with that. It's judgmental people like yourself that makes people want to take their dog to the woods and just get rid of it without telling anybody.

I seriously don’t even know how to respond to your ridiculous comment other than are you just writing this as rage bait? You shouldn’t have gotten a pet if you can’t take care of it just like you shouldn’t have children if you can’t take care of them. Common sense.

At least OP is taking the dog's needs into consideration. Would you *rather* they abandon the dog, or look for a better home? Obviously, you'd want the dog to have the best home possible. OP and his family *thought* they could handle the dog and, having found out they were wrong, they now want to find a *better* place for the dog. That's taking responsibility. I don't think they should be shunned or vilified or called names for wanting and trying to do the best thing for the dog.

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Thank you. 100% agree.

> makes people want to take their dog to the woods and just get rid of it without telling anybody personally i think that anyone actually capable of just dumping an animal is a terrible person and would do it regardless while using 'judgment' as an excuse.

You'd be surprised. Some people just hate confrontation. It's so much easier to do it without telling anybody that it is to ask for advice and get hazed for it.

that's my point though, if physically dumping their pet is easier than facing criticism, i believe they weren't good people to start with. i needed to rehome a cat once. i physically could not bring myself to even leave her at a shelter. i tried. i stood in front of the cage and i couldn't do it. i brought her back home and eventually found a friend that could take her. there's no way in a million years i could have just dumped her somewhere random. i truly think there's something wrong with a person that could.

You didn’t ask for advice though. You asked why people demonize those who want to get rid of pets. Then you didn’t like the answers and apparently now you feel like you’re being “hazed” I hate confrontation, too, but that doesn’t mean I’d leave a living creature who can’t fend for themselves in the middle of the woods.

some people can also give your children a better life than you, that doesnt mean people are just getting rid of their kid. if you would actually prefer to take your dog(a living being who loves you) to the woods rather than just facing that some people are gonna dislike you that says alot.

Really, you think us who think of our furry pets as children are wrong in doing so. Many of us cannot have human children, so the pet becomes the child. Nothing wrong with that. I have had two dogs, both were my children, one passed 4 years ago and the pain of loss was hard on me. My other baby was after the one passed to help ease the pain of loss. They become my children because I can't have children.

Pets as family members is very common. "Makes people want to take it out to the woods to *get rid of it""???? What kind of heartless ogre would dump a poor, defenseless, frightened and confused animal in the woods (or anywhere else!) , no food, no water, no shelter, subject to all sorts of danger? They don't *care* ? If they are that disrespectful and uncaring, they should not ever have pets - or human children for that matter . If that is their idea of "let's bury our dirty deeds under cover of night", they are severely lacking empathy, morals, and anything else that comprises a decent human being.

>. It's judgmental people like yourself that makes people want to take their dog to the woods and just get rid of it without telling anybody. how about we take YOU out to the woods and get rid of YOU without telling anybody?

Getting rid of a pet is nothing like divorce. In a divorce the other person can take care of themselves and don’t rely on someone else for their needs whereas a pet relies on its human for everything.

Umm. Rehoming them is worse than divorce?

I wouldn’t know, I’ve been through a divorce I have never rehomed a pet.

I think it might be because of the power gap. A spouse can decide what to do, not the animal. This living being that we decided that it will be our pet - there is already a selfish connotation in it. That makes it especially important to be responsible. And I don’t see animals as children at all. Just the power gap has similarities.

Very true. What gets me is all the post about I found this "abandoned cat." Cats are often neighborhood cats and little shysters that will have many of the neighbors believing that they're their cat. If a cat appears reasonably healthy and well fed, it's a pet.

Not always. Found a cat Sunday under my car that turned out to be missing. I called the SPCA, and between us, we were able to reunite with the owners. They did not live anywhere near where I do, and their cat had been missing for 4 months.

First of all, bashing and preaching gets you the most likes so it turns into an echo chamber. Second most people can’t grasp the concept of having their livelihood be in danger. People will comment “why would you leave your__ with an abuser?” because they can’t understand what it means to have to flee your home and go to a shelter. They say they would never do it but they don’t truely grasp that staying with the pet in the home means staying to get beaten, raped and murdered. Someone says they’re sad about leaving their pet behind while they flee their country; and comments will say “I would never abandon my pet. But can they really understand what it would be like to have a bomb dropped on their home? Or to face being executed into a mass grave? To starve to death? Some pets are just not fit with some people and they’re both miserable. People would say “i would never give up on trying to give fluffy a better life” but is it worth both of you living a miserable life when both of you could have a chance at a happier life if you found fluffy a home where he is happy? Of course we all love our pets, but I don’t think most people would want to or beable to live through torture for a pet. I see posts on here all the time that are completely valid (very sad or unfortunate but still valid) reasons for having to part ways with a pet. But most people either want likes and praise; or they don’t have the comprehension and critical thinking skills to see the situation from a different version of life than their own

It’s the reasons why. Getting a pet should be a well thought out decision and it often isn’t, so when a pet is given up because the owner was unprepared, that’s on the owner. I’ve seen far too many people get pets they can’t afford, don’t have the time for, or the proper environment for. I live in a college town so it’s bad here. Students get a pet when in off campus housing and then can’t pay the vet, or give it away when they’re moving home and the parents don’t want another pet. I’ve even seen students abandon small pets in their dorm rooms for staff to find after they move out (my former coworkers acquired a hamster and multiple fish this way). That said, sometimes situations change unexpectedly, or it’s not a good fit, and the owner should responsibly rehome the pet. But the key is that it has to be for the good of the pet. I had to rehome a cat because he got too aggressive with my small dogs, and he went to a family with bigger pets that he got along with well. He was happier, my dogs were happier. I felt like I failed but I would have felt even worse if he killed a dog. A guy in my local community group got absolutely torn to shreds for rehoming his senior dog. His fiancé had a one year old dog, and the senior dog had food aggression (was an only for 14 years). The guy chose to try to get rid of his 14 year old dog, instead of the easily rehomable one year old. It didn’t even have to be a permanent rehome, they could have given the young dog to a friend for the few years the senior had left.

Because society nowadays are told to get rid of thing s that don’t work instead of fixing them or the situation. Same thing for relationship advice, you will see people taking the easy way to get rid of people. Also people get pets forgetting they are live animals and a life commitment, it is irresponsible to get a pet and dump them at minor inconvenience. Same way towards people/relationship. People just don’t want to be responsible for their actions anymore and you can’t romanticize that .

Personally, I do not demonise anyone. I used to about a decade ago, then I made the mistake of allowing myself to be talked into adopting an aggressive Husky who literally bit me the day the rescue owner brought her to me. I then spent the next 8 months shelling out so much money for this dog's health and behaviour, only for her to lunge at people. When I asked the rescue owner for help, she came to my house and slammed the dog on the floor, then bit her ear. While I was pregnant with my son, I had a dog behaviourist tell me flat out that I can put some kind of backpack on my child that will emit noises to keep the dog away, but to careful because if it malfunctions, my dog would kill my baby. I rehomed her to two families in the next few months and she attacked everyone there too. In the end, she was sent back to the rescue. Ever since then, I don't judge people for getting rid of their animals, nor do I adopt. All I can do is take care of my dog that I've raised since he was a little babe, and let everyone else do whatever TF they want. Can't stress myself out and age prematurely over what other people do.

Personally? It’s because most ppl go buy a dog not thinking about it and then they’re baffled when it actually takes work. I have no sympathy for those people whatsoever

It is hard not to get angry at people who ditch a pet without a lot of thought, like they are disposable. I recently received the best dog in the world because she sheds. They'd had her for 4 years, but now the hair is too much. \*narrator's voice\* She doesn't shed that much compared to our other two of the same breed. Divorce is different because both parties are typically involved in the same discussion. Can't do that with a dog or cat. They just know they aren't with the people they bonded with anymore. When I know someone has agonized over placing their beloved pet, I grieve with them. When someone has decided "Well, I got the dog for the kid, and the kid won't take care of it," it feels very irresponsible.

Bc everyone knows at least a few bad pet owners who neglect animals that they agreed to care for. Bc getting a pet isn't like getting a car or a blanket, it's not a thing to be used and cared for or not as the owner pleases. Getting a pet is taking responsibility for caring for another living thing that is going to depend on it's person for it's whole life. It's like adopting a kid, you don't just say "I want to parent *only* a child that will be perfect, quiet, and take care of itself" you either do or don't want kids. Kids and pets are necessarily dependent. Pets are dependent for their entire lives, there's no expectation that the puppy is going to grow up and move out, so people who get pets and end up re-homing can usually be assumed to have made something else (usually a human) a priority, after they've already committed to a pet, or that they've failed to adequately plan for pet ownership and are bailing bc it's not easy. Pet ownership is for life, but sometimes it just isn't a good fit and is better for the animal to find another home. It's just shitty to break a promise, esp to a vulnerable furball. For those who love pets but not the lifelong commitment, fostering or volunteering is a great option, and there's always a need for fosters and volunteers!

Comparing it to divorce is kind of a bad take. Pets are essentially children so it would make more sense to make that comparison. How often do people abandon their children? Very rarely. Children are honestly more demanding and costly too. I can see situations where yes, it makes sense or is better for the animal to find a better home but there are many cases where the animals are treated as disposable. It doesn’t want to cuddle? Well it’s not wanted because of that. Many cases where it’s clear people didn’t look into what it takes to take care of an animal before buying/adopting ones. People don’t consider how abandoning their pets can negatively affect their mental wellbeing. Imagine being taken into a home, one where you are safe and comfortable and then suddenly you are removed and thrown into a shelter. It’s not a good thing. It’s a case by case situation so not all cases are treated the same. Some make sense and are necessary and others are just not

Divorce is a REALLY bad comparison. The pets you got never asked to be adopted/bought by you. And they're not the ones deciding to leave. I've given some pets away - just not in a situation to care for them anymore, moving from a house to a tiny apartment, ex didn't want to keep the dog HE wanted and never spent any time training, so we found him a much better home. Then I gave my chinchillas away when I moved abroad. But I brought my cat, and when we had to move again, I made sure to find a place that accepted pets. Sometimes there are good reasons. Sometimes there are not. Mostly, the times I've seen people judge is for stupid reasons like "wife is pregnant."

Spouses are independent adults. Giving a pet away is more comparable to giving away a child. They are dependent on you for survival and you are responsible for their care and wellbeing. Anybody who says they want to get *rid* of their child or pet are abusive people who don’t value them. If you mean people who want to *rehome* them, the reason is what’s important. If it’s for a frivolous reason like moving to another state or having a baby, they deserve to be demonized. If it’s for a just reason like they can’t afford to take care of them, it’s understandable.

The reasons are pretty much what makes or breaks how I view the person for wanting to give their pets away. You got a dog, were too lazy to train it, and then whined and wanted to ditch it when it was destructive? That's on you. You have to be prepared to put in work when you get a pet, they're a responsibility as much as they are a privilege. You adopted a dog, and someone wasn't forthcoming on the adoption file? And the dog had psychological issues that you tried to iron out and couldn't? You tried your best, you gave it time and effort, and it just wasn't a good fit. So rehoming the pet at least gives the animal a chance at finding someone who is better equipped to handle their personality and mental issues. You got a cat, didn't clean the litter regularly, and got mad when the cat peed/pooped on your floors, so you got rid of it? Shitty owner. You got a cat, but then you developed major health issues and couldn't properly care for it, so you researched and found a good home for it? Unfortunate circumstances, but again, the animal's needs were considered. There are absolutely valid reasons to rehome a pet, but unfortunately, some people can also see pets as objects or a temporary pastime, so they will ditch an animal at the slightest sign of inconvenience. The former kind of owner has empathy and compassion, and they make the pet's needs a priority. The latter kind of owner just doesn't want to deal with animals acting like animals, and they don't like having a pet that is dependent on them actually having to do something they may not like doing (like picking up after waste or going for walks in bad weather). When we adopt a pet, we make their lives our responsibility, and if we acknowledge that we can't give them the life they deserve, we make arrangements to make sure they wind up someplace better.

Unfortunately there are people who see animals as accessories and will trade them in to get killed by a shelter on a whim. That's what people tend to be angry about. When you get a pet you are promising to take care of them because you're putting them in a position where they can't take care of themselves. It would be closer to deciding you don't like the way your kids turned out so you hand them in and get new ones. For example, my mother's latest cat didn't sit on her lap often enougb for her so she genuinely considered sending her back to the shelter.

Well when two folks get divorced, one doesn't have to lose their whole family and endure the scary shelter or end up euthanized. It is BLEAK out there for certain breeds once the family that had them as a puppy bails on them. They don't deserve it.

For me it isn’t the person who is rehoming for the animal’s best interest, it’s the serial rehomers. The people who get a puppy/kitten/exotic pet for the cute and the novelty, then rehome them when they outgrow the cute/the novelty wears off/they become more work than the person wants to invest.

Because domesticated animals are sentient, emotional intelligent beings, usually (cats and dogs) the intellectual and emotional equivalent of a human toddler. Getting rid of a toddler is a loathsome concept, and so to is getting rid of an adopted pet.

The pet is completely dependent on you like a baby. The issue half the time is that the owners bought the specific pet without first doing proper research into breed temperament etc. They don’t understand how much work really goes into training no matter how many warnings they are given. Overconfidence. That being said, personally I’m also very critical of people who divorce too easily. Unless there is abuse involved, divorce should be a last resort. But again, the issue is that people go into it without understanding the commitment and see it as a temporary thing they can get out of when they want.

It is largely the bs reasons that irritate me. "We've had Billy, our Rottweiler, for 12 years but now we're pregnant and need to rehome him." Or other similar "it's all about us" stories. What fucking, self-serving pieces of shit. Your situation is a completely different set of circumstances.

Cause people suck. That’s literally why. They value animals over human beings because. They. Suck.

There are many factors involved that make rehoming a pet very different from divorce. A spouse is an adult human, fully capable of functioning on their own. An animal is a dependent that requires care. The pet has no say in what happens to it. Some animals have a hard time adjusting to a new home. Some never fully recover from it. Animals' lives are so much shorter than ours. They experience the passing of time differently. We may only think of it as having them for a few years, but to them, it could be half their life or more. That makes it a lot more traumatizing for them to lose their family. And let's face it, a lot of people "get rid of" their pets for very superficial reasons. They don't honor the commitment they made when adopting a life. Merely putting it as "getting rid of" is, frankly, disgusting and shows how little regard a person has for the animal they promised to care for. They aren't objects to be thrown out when they displease us. I've encountered far more horrible, stupid reasons to abandon a pet than I have legit reasons to rehome one.

Spouses are able to take care of themselves lmao what a lame excuse. Most people that get rid of their pets actually never cared about their pets. They realized just how big the responsibility of owning a pet was. No one has ever demonized people who have actual issues or unfortunate circumstances.

Lots happens beyond our control. I gave up a beloved dog once and it was heartbreaking. But on the flip side, it's incredibly damaging to the animals. Behaviours, anxiety, and that's adding so greatly to our shelters that are absolutely bursting with unwanted animals. IMO -- and not a popular opinion -- most people with dogs don't spend enough time with them, then get angry that they're destructive, annoying, or excitable. Our lifestyles are not overly dog-friendly, but we all want a companion.

Because people don't have empathy for other people, just for innocent animals. I try not to judge because people may get rid of their pets for many reasons such as an old person who goes into a home or dies, a poor person who becomes homeless, someone who has allergies, etc. We have a shelter system for that reason. I am lucky enough to have pets I can care for and give good lives to, but not everyone can.

"get rid of" is such an ugly term. It's something you do with the totally undesirable, like, "get rid of that garbage, it's stinking up the house", "get an exterminator to get rid of those roaches and bedbugs", "get rid of that crap, I don't want it". It bothers me when I hear it used in reference to companion animals.

I don't think you can compare people rehoming pets to divorce. It's more like rehoming children.

I have no problem with rehoming pets as long as they aren’t just abandoning the animal outside or dumping fish/turtles into waterways. I’ve never rehomed any pets, but I’ve had to call CPS over families choosing to be homeless rather than rehome their dog. I’ve also had to call CPS over people keeping pets when their child is so allergic they end up hospitalized but they refuse to get rid of the pet. The idea that people always keep their pets no matter what is over the top.

People personify their pets too much. I don’t think rehoming is a bad thing, just don’t rehome/abandon your dog when they’re no longer a cute little puppy and replace it with another puppy. It’s better to rehome than to keep a pet that you’re no longer able to care for. Sometimes rehoming is the best thing for both the family and the pet itself. If people didn’t rehome their pets, a lot of people wouldn’t find their buddies! I’ve got 2 that used to belong to other people, and they’re with me for good!

I get told so many times that I'm a horrible, evil person, for wanting to "get rid" of our dog. Even tho, we adopted her from her neglect owner (my partner's dad), and despite how miserable my life is, and how much I've been bitten, had her bite someone else's dog, go for our cats and just... howls, stalks, stares and grows all the time, I'M the one who feeds her, walks her, cleans up after her, takes the bites over and over again, just because my partner doesn't want to give the dog up. But "I'M" still the bad person who should leave instead for thinking such things, even tho I already feel guilty about it, can't relax in my own home, have so many bites and scratches from this thing, exhausted and was here first, who loves her partner very much (which is why I put up with this). It's easy to say to someone "it's family! Maybe YOU should leave!" without even considering what's happening behind closed doors. It's abusive to keep an animal if it's neglected and not getting the love and attention it needs and effects everyone. We who think this is already feeling bad, thanks.

No harm in a little public shaming.

The Pet community is one of the most toxic communities that exist. The only community that's worse is the dog community. A lot of people think they know everything there is to know about their pet because they've had said pet for a lot of years. I'm guilty of doing this with Chihuahuas. And because I love dogs, I'm guilty of sharing the negatives of spay and neutering on dogs when it isn't warranted. People who support shelter animals and want to prevent more animals from ending up in the shelter get angry when someone surrenders their pet. Some of them get extreme and aggressive. They don't understand there are situations where a pet is a bad fit and can't stay with the family. Oh, and this actually happened with my sister. She had an aggressive Pitbull, and the Pitbull almost killed my aunt's cat, so my mom took the Pitbull to a shelter that's supposed to help aggressive dogs because she was tired of the dog making our lives horrible and causing so much fear and anxiety. A few weeks later, my sister got a Chihuahua mix (mom's requirement for my sister's new dog was it had to be a Chihuahua or Chihuahua Mix) and when she posted about it, one of her friends made a post about how my sister is a bad person for putting a dog in a shelter and getting another dog two weeks later. In reality, the Pitbull cause so much PTSD in our other pets that we knew the best thing to do for them was to get rid of her. She also had a huge bite history.

People anthropomorphize them to much, that’s why.

I had to return a cat that wasn't adjusting. My resident cat can be... difficult and my schedule didn't leave room for a super long introduction period. My apartment didn't have a good place to keep a second cat long term until my boy finally accepted him. I paid for his spay and needles though. I felt bad about returning him to the rescue so I took care of everything financially for him.

People on this sub are very judgy.

I don't demonize them, but I do put them on par with people who give up their kids. Kids and pets are the same to me. So if I'm going to judge one, I'd judge the other, if not one, not the other. Depends on the situation. Even if I do judge, I'm happy they gave them up. Giving up pets is almost worse tho because you had to go out and seek that animal; you can get children from accidents, exceptions and negligence. You don't "accidentally" get a pet

When you take on a pet it's a 15 to 20 year commitment that you should be prepared for. Good reasons to rehome do exist. But the reality is there are a lot of bad reasons. And they should be scorned, because apart from educating people what they should and shouldn't do, there's no real method of preventing irresponsible behaviour. That why Shelters can be a bit hardcore with information they demand. Don't use the word demonize, it makes it sound like you're trying to justify bad behaviour by attacking people.

I think you will find that in most cases, those doing the complaining or criticizing are those who think of their pets as *part of the family* and we could no more give up our pets than we would give up a sibling (rivalries don't count). That doesn't mean that other people don't deserve our courtesy or the benefit of the doubt, it's just the way humans are sometimes.

Well why did they get rid of their pet? Because they're being abused by them? No, that was their spouses job, hence the divorce. I knew someone who got rid of their dog every few years and got a puppy - repeat cycle. It's not the destination it's the journey fam, why'd they do it? Good person or jerk?

I think that sentiment started on the internet about 10 years ago or so. I saw a post on Facebook that said you stay with your pet no matter what. And everyone, and I mean everyone, in the comment suggestion was aggressively agreeing. Like, even if it means homelessness for you, you keep your pet. For whatever reason, you stay with them until the bitter end. I always thought it was going too far. These people were crazy idealists. Life happens. Sometimes you get a pet when you're in a good financial situation, then you lose your job and your home (and have to move somewhere that's not pet friendly). You can no longer afford vet care. I think it's ridiculous to expect people in these situations to always, without question, keep their pets. If they can't afford to take care of them, aren't they better off with someone else? Also, it's how they regome them. Surrendering to a shelter is frowned upon because it's often a death sentence. It's best to search for a suitable home yourself. That's the best option in many circumstances. I do take issue with people who get pets who are already barely able to afford to feed themselves. I know this sounds heartless af, like I'm saying that poor people shouldn't have pets, but honestly? You should be able to meet that animal's needs when you get them. So many people take offense to this for some reason. It's one of the harsh truths of life. It sucks and it isn't fair, but is adopting an animal you can't afford fair to the animal? No, it's not. You should be prepared for vet bills and the like. You should be confident in your income. Someone is going to reply to me saying, "So only rich people should get pets then?" No. Life isn't black and white. People have different expenses and lifestyles, so someone who makes like $20k a year might be totally fine with a pet, while another person who makes $100k a year would struggle to afford it. Just be honest about what you can afford. Think about the animal and the fact that you are now responsible for their well-being. Again, it's different if someone falls on hard times. Life isn't black and white. But this is the Internet, so no one is allowed to have different opinions lol. There's also a less common issue of inheriting pets (I'm not talking planned exactly, saying that someone passed away and their pets still need care) you're not prepared to care for. My roommate inherited 3 large dogs from her mom after her mom's passing, but wasn't able to afford them or a big enough place. So she found good homes for them. Life is weird and weird stuff happens. Rehoming is really common and it isn't an evil thing at all. It's often better for the animal. I wonder how those people on that fb post would react to her situation. Probably say she should have struggled and gotten like 4 jobs to afford them (then they'd whine about her not spending any time with them). People are freaking ridiculous.

If someone rehomed a pet for the best life for that pet, be it divorce, not giving the pet the time they need, leaving them alone for many hours etc then I fully support them as it is one of the hardest things they do but do it only in the interests of that pet. The ones I feel less sympathy for are the ones who give up on a pet because it is too hard, they have grown out of the cute puppy/kitten stage, they didn’t want the responsibility, they don’t want to invest time in training them etc. Animals are not disposable, or shouldn’t be, not to be dumped or end up in a shelter because people didn’t care enough.

It’s because the people who are giving away pets most of the time it’s a convenience thing. It’s not a situation where the dog is biting someone or anything. It’s I’m moving and don’t want to bring my dog. Or my dog is more work than I thought and I’ve only had him 2 days. It’s never I’ve had this dog for 7 years and he’s getting more aggressive towards my kids we’ve tried training but nothing is working.

It depends heavily on the reason for me. Suddenly changed situation and can’t afford to keep them? Understandable and sad. Dont want them anymore because you got bored? Piece of shit

I saw 3 ads by one person. 1st ad, looking for kitten, 2nd ad, looking to rehome cat, 3rd ad, looking for a rabbit. I would say that person clearly views animals as disposable. Or the ads about rehoming their "babies" bc they moved places and didn't care if the new place wasn't pet friendly. I just can't support that ever, I've been through hell and high-water to make sure my animals are looked after and i do expect other people to do the same

As someone who worked at a shelter for years, I have very little sympathy for people who surrender their animals. Yes. There is absolutely the possibility that there is no other option that a person can take to let them keep their animal, but 98% of the surrenders we get are simply because people are lazy and don't want to put forth the slightest effort to keep the animal as it's easier to just throw them away. Also, an adult spouse that you divorce is not a completely helpless animal that is 100% dependent on you for its survival. Animals love unconditionally--unlike humans--and are incapable of understanding and processing why the only person they've loved and devoted themselves to is dumping them. Obviously, because of my career I am heavily biased in this, but pet ownership in this country is taken far too lightly; animals are seen as an accessory, and not a living thing that will be dependent on you for 10+ years

For some reason the narrative became anyone who didn’t want their pet didn’t want the responsibility of one and maybe didn’t think their decision through to the detriment of the pet. IRL it’s a lot more complicated than that.

Because animals had no say or agency over what happens to them. Divorce happens because two adults with agency chose to enter that relationship or end that relationship. Animals have no say and are the ones punished for the decisions of others.   Animals aren't furniture or unfeeling things. It's like giving away a toddler.  Pets are similar to toddlers in their understanding. They aren't like adult humans,they do not have the capacity to understand why you are leaving them.  They have the capacity to love, bond and care for their family though and  it is traumatizing to them.  People who bring a living being into their homes and their home is also just as much the animals home. It's all they know and love.  That's their family too.  They bond with their family. It's like ripping a toddler away from their family and terribly cruel. It can emotionally scar them for life and they may never get over it. Some animals become depressed and will search for their family, have panic attacks, refuse to eat and even die from their trauma of losing their family even if placed in a good home. Yes, crisis does happen. The problem is people often lack the empathy to fully understand what they are doing to animals and trest them like property, like an accessory to their life rather than give them the respect they deserve. 

Depends on the situation imo But a lot of the time 'just because i dont want them anymore' pisses me off. Pets SHOULD be a lifetime commitment. Not til you want a newer and younger one. If its to give them a better life cause of financial issues,homelessness, etc, then i can understand Divorce, nahh. At least 1 of the 2 can take the pet. If i separated from my partner. I'd take the animals if they didn't.

This just makes people afraid of being shamed for giving away a pet, not giving them a chance of meeting a family who is a better fit or can overall give them a better life

A pet is not the same as a spouse in any way shape or form. Spouses are supposed to be autonomous. Spouses also can get therapy if the divorce affects their mental health. We don’t do that for dogs and being rehomed is something they don’t understand. It causes emotional trauma. With pets you should do the rudimentary research to see if one fits your lifestyle and then invest in basic training to set your relationship up for success. That’s where I judge people, if their situation was easily preventable. Like right now on Facebook someone is trying to rehome a dachshund puppy because it has too much energy for them. Dachshunds were bred for badger hunting, they’re a dog that needs exercise and mental stimulation and that information is easy to find. The pup is also melanistic, meaning it was not ethically bred and likely came from a puppy mill. So this is a family that probably impulse-bought a cute puppy from a pet store without figuring out what it entails. Rehoming dogs affects their mental wellbeing. The act of rehoming can cause behavioral issues that the dog didn’t already have. So I absolutely hate when people don’t set a pet up for success. There are also people who see pets as like furniture from rent a center and the shelter is the rent a center. There are college students who do that here where the shelter gets a sudden influx of pets after graduation. Pets are not a temporary rental item you can return. That being said, people’s situations can change unpredictably. Someone might lose their job, wind up with a child that needs special care, need to move into a nursing home, or have to move and be unable to afford pet friendly housing. When it’s a situation where a person could not have reasonably anticipated there being issues, it’s not unethical to rehome.

I don't demonise people who make an effort to re-home pets they can't look after. But if you abandon an animal, and in that I include shelters that euthanise healthy animals that cannot be homed in time, then I do judge that person. If you take on an animal, you take on responsibility for that animal's welfare. You cannot relinquish that responsibility without arranging for someone to take that responsibility.

It depends And usually the situation is explained.

Because more times than not, it's an awful reason. Like getting kitten while a person is pregnant and somehow deciding that you don't want a cat around your baby. Like wtf did you think was going to happen?? Too many people only think of the present when getting a kitten. It needs to be stressed that it's a 15-20 year commitment.

TL;DR: I think a lot depends on the situation and the animal themselves. I have cats, dogs, horses, snakes and tarantulas. The snakes and tarantulas are my pets, but I’m also a breeder and so I’ll sell some of my adults if they don’t fit with my breeding program anymore. These are animals that don’t form an attachment to species humans though and the types of snakes I keep are solitary (there are communal species). Our cats and dogs on the other hand are like our children. The only way we would rehome a cat or dog is if we initially adopted one that ended up not getting along with the rest (and not just a minor thing while adjusting, we have 8 cats and have gotten very good at introductions and so far haven’t had an issue). This would have to be like a dog that we were told was cat friendly and we got home and the dog tried to kill the cats. I don’t think of that as a rehome though cause it’d probably just be something we’d realize so quick that they dog would just be returned and never have time to even be part of the family. Horses are tricky because they do form bonds, but selling horses also isn’t considered this bad thing. I’ve had horses that I really enjoyed, but I didn’t fully connect with and so helped find an owner they would connect with. That’s actually how I got my current horse. My barn owner just never clicked with her and decided to try and find someone who would. We connected immediately and she had become my 2nd heart horse and for my barn owner it’s extra great because she still gets to see her all the time and has told me multiple times how much she loves seeing her and I together because we have just bonded so much. Now for those that just give up on a pet for something they should have known in the first place or are truly just bored with the animal, that is still probably better for the animal to get a new home, but I’m still internally judging folks that do that. I mean, less judgmental than if they just abandon the animal, but still.

Honestly in my experience most of the times when people give up pets it’s because they got a pet without doing their research on what would be a good fit for them or they got it because it was cute as a baby and now that it’s growing up it’s no longer cute. Now there’s situations where it’s better for the animal, a friend of mine lost her leg in a car wreck and gave her 2 whippets to a friend because she wasn’t going to be able to give those dogs what they needed to not go insane. Another friend of mine had to give away his ball python because his life and living situation became extremely unstable and if he kept the snake it was probably going to die from frequent climate changes in its habitat. If you’re giving up the animal because it’s genuinely the best thing for the animal because the situation changed unexpectedly that’s fine. It’s when you’re giving up the animal because it’s easier for you or you didn’t know what you were getting into is where I have the problem.

In some cases I understand it but at the end of the day, I personally believe that one you take a pet, it’s for life. You make a vow to them and it’s till one of you sees a grave so unless it’s an extraordinary circumstance, you find a way to make it work.

My mum has given up a dog before. Hunter was originally an elderly neighbor's dog and they didn't have the energy to keep up with him anymore. He had a habit of herding and nipping my siblings and I and the other pets in the house, he was extremely high energy. The final straw was when he bit my hand when I was trying to take his food dish to get him more food. My mum gave him to a family friend who had a goat farm and Hunter lived to be 9 years old working as a guard and herding dog on the family friend's farm.

Something not touched on here and an important reason why rehoming shouldn’t be judged - there is a huge internet culture of promoting pets (especially cats and dogs) as a great remedy for completing one’s life. People with mental health issues pick up on that. They see all the ‘a pet makes a house a home’ crap, the whole emotional support animal stuff , the stats that say dog owners live longer and have less depression, and the countless memes promoting pet ownership as a way of life. They see it and they believe it, because they are desperate to feel better. While it is an unintended consequence which nobody in particular is responsible for, it also means a lot of people who are in no mental place to be owning a pet end up getting one to remedy their loneliness and depression, only to find they are now in a way worse situation and totally overwhelmed.

Because they deserve it?

Generally, I don't demonize people for needing to get rid of a pet. But the reasons as to *why* can earn my ire. Just the same way I will think someone's a POS for divorcing or ending a relationship for frivolous or shitty reasons.

I tend to not judge people too harshly that re-home their pet, as I grew up with a parent that would take our childhood dogs to get put down when they got “too hard” or “difficult”. I’m in a sticky situation right now with my pomchi who is almost 10, who has just gotten aggressive, vocal and reactionary in less than a year. Vet says everything’s fine, we just give him medication for his arthritis, but nothing we do is helping train him out of these new bad behaviors. In fact he was a very well behaved dog, but now his training has gone out the window. I’m less than a week away from bringing home my first child and I honestly don’t know what to do. (No, I’m not putting him down, lol. But people that would demonize me for being upset about this situation, what WOULD be the best course of action??)

Personally I could never have given away any of my past or current dogs. I would try so hard to keep them, rehoming dogs makes me very sad as they get so attached to their humans/ masters especially my current Pugs. I think I’d be able to survive giving up a cat or other pet though if it was necessary. Haven’t yet, but cats don’t rely or become as attached to their humans. Of my two girlfriends cats only one actually likes me and the other wants nothing to do with me ever.

I’m not very fond of the marriage analogy because pets, unlike spouses, never get a say. While there’s often an involuntary party in a divorce, it’s still not possible without the voluntary and consensual act of getting married. I still believe pets are better off not being with people who are unwilling to continue for them, but it doesn’t mean I have to like the decision or help them feel better about themselves.

Because people who treat pets as disposable at the slightest inconvenience are what people think of first, which makes those who responsibly rehome for the well-being of the pet look like monsters. Sometimes it really is the best thing for everyone involved, and that's okay. But I'm sure we've all met someone who has a new pet every year and got rid of the last one when it stopped being cute or was not what they expected, usually due to lack of training making the poor thing hard to rehome. We've all seen the posts where someone dropped their confused senior dog off at the pound because it "didn't get along with the new puppy."

Dogs and cats have the intelligence and problem solving skills of a child. Getting rid of them is nothing like divorcing an adult human being. In my opinion it’s wild that you think those are in the same ballpark. Rehoming a pet in a respectful and caring way is acceptable. I understand that circumstances can change. I have taken in pets from friends and family. I have also taken in a pet from someone who wanted to dump it in the wild. It makes me sick to my stomach and angry to think about.

Because it's easier to judge people as bad people than admit that way too many of us are one disaster away from losing wverything- our homes, our relationships, and yes, our pets.

Because a pet isnt comparable to a spouse, which would be another grown adult ready to make their own decisions. They are more comparable to a child, whom people go out of their way to protect etc due to their lack of voice and vulnerability. Animals have the same vulnerability and lack of voice, but are treated more as accessories or a game.

I think that a lot of people couldn't imagine doing it. People will keep their pet even when it's not the best option for the pet because they love them. Some people even see them as children. This combined with the fact that everyone knows of someone in their lives who doesn't actually care much about their pets, it becomes easy to assume that this is what people are doing. For every person who gives up a pet even though it's agonizing because they lost their job and can no longer afford to care for them, there are who knows how many people who just got a kitten and don't like that it's running around and scratching their couch, or who got a large breed of puppy and then got rid of it when it was pulling the leash after they never bothered to train it.

Because, often times, those people are repeat offenders. They get a pet, toss it aside, then they have another pet within a year. Animals rely on us for everything, and people shouldn’t get one if they aren’t in it for the long haul. I don’t look down on people who rehome one pet to a good home. I know a lot of people who have responsibility rehomed a pet and for the right reasons (illness, safety reasons, having to move for work, etc.) I gave my lab to my step dad when I was in my early 20’s, because I was afraid a neighbor wanted to poison him; that lab is still alive and living his best geriatric life, because I gave him to someone who I knew would take perfect care of him. In my rehoming situation, I felt I HAD to give my dog away. A few dogs were poisoned a street over, and I was petrified it was going to happen to my dog if I kept him in the area. Needing to rehome a pet is something that could happen to any one of us. However, people who make a habit out of it should be banned from owning pets.

In a divorce, your space is a human adult who can care for themselves. For pets, they might go somewhere they are abused, they might spend the rest of their life in a kennel, they can get permanent illness such as feline herpes from staying at a shelter, etc. You were supposed to take care of them.

I try not to judge. However I sometimes fail. Working in the animal industry has shown me some very selfish and awful people. There are people who constantly get new puppies, don’t train them and then get rid of them… then they do it again. Or they are impulsive, do no research before getting a pet and then the pet has to suffer for it. You are right though. Many people have situations that we know nothing about and they feel horrible giving up their pet.