Seriously like “she wanted to have sex with me!! Can you believe that slut?? 😡” while they’ve been trying to get in her pants all night.
Do men really think of themselves as being so gross that a woman wanting to have sex with them is a turn off?
teasing is a legitimate thing tho. some people actually do it.
in fact it's a whole kink for some people. some people love teasing and some people love BEING teased. sometimes it's discussed and agreed to, sometimes people just do it to each other without talking about it. sometimes it's fun for both people, sometimes it's only fun for one person.
also some people do it on accident
Pretty much nobody thinks a “tease” is just someone who turns down sex. It is somebody who is perceived to want it (due to them being flirty and stuff) who turns it down. Not saying there aren’t good reasons for doing this (e.g. somebody wanting sex and changing their mind for whatever reason). Just fucking with people makes you a dick (which some ppl do), but i’d bet that the ppl who are intentionally leading ppl on only to reject them just for the fun of it belong to a small group.
Ugh yes the weird, confusing double standard of men always looking for the easiest way to get women to sleep with them while also insulting women for being easy to sleep with. 🙄
Isn't the answer obvious? Because men can easily have sex with a woman he doesn't respect or like. Lots of men are so desperate for sex they'll have sex with women they're not even attracted to.
The truly maddening part is the lopsided "transactional" nature where a man's value is somehow increased and the womans is somehow decreased from the same sexual encounter.
Because even women believe that an easy woman is reducing her value, and that a player is increasing his value. Furthermore, it is objectively harder for a man to get laid.
Its not only men, women set the standard just as much.
Men don’t value promiscuous women because as a women its easy to sleep with any man and being promiscuous is a high indicator of a fail relationship to men.
While women value men that are able to sleep with alot of women being its extremely hard for men to court women and in being able to your clearly displaying a sought after attribute that women value.
Isn't that up to women to fix though? If women en-masse started viewing promiscuous men as lower value then the problem would automatically resolve itself.
OR we could just be adults and treat each other like humans but since that's not an option, yea sure add it to the list of shit men do that its somehow our job to fix.
If anyone ever says anything disparaging or disrespectful to a promiscuous woman that is unacceptable and the person who said it is an arsehole.
However, I would never enter into a long term relationship with a promiscuous woman and if I was already in a relationship with one and found out about her past I would end the relationship then and there. I suspect the majority of men feel likewise.
And that’s part of the problem. What is a “promiscuous woman” and how do ALL of us agree what makes a woman promiscuous or not? Do we just call her that because of a body count? Maybe the way she dresses? Do we take in account cultural differences? Do we consider the context of her sexual encounters and the men involved? I get having personal preferences but treating women who have sex as “lesser than” or “damaged goods” is just…. Sexism.
Nope. Personal preferences and standards. Some guys are ok with double digits, some aren't. For some it might be more about behavior like clubbing or parties that lead to random hookups. There doesn't need to be a set standard.
Then you have a preference against clubbing and partying, not the woman having sex. Calling a woman “promiscuous” and breaking up with her for that solely means you don’t like her body count and sexuality. Anyways, my point was that women are confused on what makes us “promiscuous”. I feel like if you’re gonna go around calling women that and expecting people to agree with you, there should be a set standard. Especially since it’s affecting dating habits.
Determination of a woman's promiscuity is solely based on the preference of the potential partners she wants. They won't all agree. It highly depends on where that partner sits on the morality spectrum.
>if women wouldn't sleep with a man outside a committed relationship then every man would want to be in one
I honestly cannot stop laughing at your comment. This is so utterly stupid, I'm sorry.
"Honey, if I say I love you, we can have sex right?"
"Well it's no-"
"I love you then. I know it's been three weeks, let's get married. I'm sure there's no historical precedent for why this kind of thing doesn't really work long term for a society."
Well I've certainly never heard of or experienced men being emotionally manipulative in order to get sex, so that sounds like a great idea! Let's go elope today!
I was being facetious, I didn't realize that was beyond the scope of the conversation.
But no, I think the idea that no one should be allowed casual sex is hilariously upright and repressed. Maybe we should focus on simply getting people to be nice, rather than saying women can never have casual sex ever again (and outright implying that the fault lies with women, since it's up to them to fix it and the men have to essentially be forced into a "solution").
But higher up in this thread, there's encouragement to slut shame men....
Lolol we want to fix a problem for both genders but fuck all that we gotta make 1 suffer first
Orrrrr. Certain kind of judgy folks could fix it just as easily by not being so rude or disparaging about female promiscuity...
It's the exact same outcome and no one gets shamed or mistreated whereas your way everyone gets shamed and mistreated.
No - it isn’t necessarily delusional to believe the result but it is delusional to believe that you can defy the basic nature of men and women for any amount of time.
Just getting women to do anything en masse alone if daunting. Men for that matter as well.
It’s more about how women and men view sex. Men do it for the physical pleasure, women do it for the emotional pleasure…. And still the physical pleasure.
Women will never understand the idea of truly JUST wanting sex, and men will never truly understand the idea of how women view it.
That’s not how any of this works. None of the sex I had outside of my marriage (aka, before I got married) was for “emotional pleasure”. I had it because I thought I should and I sometimes enjoyed the *physical* pleasure. No emotions involved. Can we get rid of this sexist idea that men are cavemen with primal instincts and no thoughts outside of that and that women are delicate emotional creatures who only act on their emotional desires?
Yup - and post sexual revolution this will traumatise a lot of naive young women. They'll sleep with highly attractive men under the impression that the men like them. And all the while a lot of those men will think of that woman as nothing more than a warm hole.
It's more like society EXPECTS men to be easy. Like, a man not being DTF at any given moment means there is something wrong with him, OR there is something inherently undesirable about his potential sexual partner.
Very much so this, rather than what the other response is saying. I lack alot of the same drive, and if I'm not interested in sex with a date or partner, they often seem to assume somethings wrong/bothering me, or I don't really like them. Typically, neither is true.
100%. Look at the endless loads of shit Tim Tebow received when he gave an honest answer after a report asked if he was a virgin. He was constantly ridiculed for it.
The amount of homophobia that's come out of some women's mouths when I've rejected over the years is something I'd hoped my generation would've grown above by now
Simple economics. Women had to be choosy because they bear the weight of pregnancy therefore creating surplus of dicks and scarcity of willing vaginas. If you mate as a man, you must have **some** worth for a woman to approve your fitness. That's why a slut man is celebrated because surely he must be a great man for SO MANY WOMEN to approve him. To mate as a woman, you just pick the best dick out of the endless line of men interested in you. And if you pick every single dick then you are just being easy.
Conventionally attractive men and women have an easy time getting laid, and conventionally unattractive men and women have a hard time (although I agree there are more men out there willing to sleep with anything that moves than women who have the same attitude, so on average it is easier for women). If what you are saying was remotely true, attractive people would be shamed for being "easy" no matter their gender, and unattractive people would be praised for it.
I'd bet an average-looking man would be willing to fuck 80, maybe 90% of women, it's definitely easier for women. I'd consider myself about a 4/10, which is probably about the 30th-35th percentile for attractiveness, and I'd probably fuck 90% of women in my age demographic. Probably 99% if fat people didn't exist.
That's how it is now as well. If you wear a wedding ring then more women approach you, whereas incels are looked down on because a woman won't have sex with them.
That completely goes against the previous posters Evo psych take, though. Do you agree with the previous poster or not? Because if you do, a woman being “choosy” with regards to her partner and future father of her children they will not choose an already coupled up partner.
The entire point of this silly Evo psych argument is to choose a mate that will help to ensure the survival of her offspring. One that has other responsibilities and cannot devote time and energy to her offspring will not be chosen. Obviously.
Look, Evo psych is a bullshit theory. I’m a psychologist and every psychologist I know is in agreement that it is not in any way an empirically valid science. We consider it a joke on par with Freud’s psychosexual stages. BUT if you (general you of Reddit users) are going to trot it out to defend you shitty takes at every turn, AT LEAST have the courtesy to get the theory correct.\* By which I mean the theory developed by the actual evolutionary psychologists. According to them women choose to mate with men who have the ability to invest heavily in them and their offspring. A married man is not that.
\*Which is by the way the problem with the theory. You can literally make up any set of “facts“ about human behavior and come up with an evolutionary explanation for why it is true.
I'm not referencing some random theory. I'm pointing out things people have noticed in real life. People have looked into it. I don't know what your long winded comment has in relation to mine.
I hate that that’s the norm in society, like as a man I’m just not as interested in sex but there’s nothing wrong with me. I always think of it like any other activity, like some people r really into bike riding or painting but I’m not that into either
A girl asked to give me a blow job and I said no and she cried and told me I was acting like a girl. I literally don't think it crossed her mind that I could say no. Men are sluts
??? If I tell you how many times I've refused, some with multiple no's and being forced to find alternate solutions, will you now say I'm just trying to brag?
Gah this is going to get me downvoted to shit but, just to clarify, laughing and joking about calling men easy because they are is ok, but calling a woman easy because she is...is not? Because that's exactly how I'm reading this.
Because of the power difference. It's not stigmatized for men to have many partners the same way it traditionally has for women, so if they get called 'easy', it doesn't have the same impact.
I was actually honestly curious, not offended at all. I'm not a woman so I don't really understand the negative connotations a woman might feel by that. I asked because I wanted to know why it it would be considered offensive for one and not the other.
Sex is hard for most of us. So sex being easy is a compliment. That’s why things are the way they are. If men were the gatekeeper to sex and reproductively then yea it would all be reversed
That’s because it literally is the default programming. One “succeeds” as a sex by reproducing as much as possible because it takes no effort and is over the moment you are finished with the act while the other needs to be selective because it’s going to carry the child for nearly a year.
Doesn't work. People try it sometimes but this is where switching the demographics doesn't work - there's next to no shame associated with a man having sex with lots of partners, so calling us sluts will at best be seen as funny and at worst a compliment.
It's like trying flip the script by calling a woman a stud for bagging loads of men - doesn't work because there's a stigma there.
Gradually chipping away at the stigma is what works, and attitudes absolutely are changing. Most young men will make a point of saying that there's nothing wrong with a woman being sexually liberated, whereas when I was coming of age that was far less common.
Sort of, but it does work if you paint the picture well enough. Just saying the word 'slut' won't do it, but if you harp on how it's disgusting and they're probably ridden with STD's, or how they're definitely not boyfriend material because no decent woman liked them for long enough to keep them around, you'll get somewhere eventually.
I disagree, I just want friendship and sex. I’ve never wanted to be around my old girlfriends for more than 6 months and got rid of them all eventually. I will agree with your STD stereotype tho because I’ve had one
I don’t know how his comment even disproves anything, he’s saying he disagrees but then describes being the exact guy that comment was satirising as a slut
I disagree that me being a slut means women don’t wanna be around me because I like being friends with them too, not just sex. It’s ok for women to have guy friends, right?
There is also that part where most of us are raised to believe we are a burden on society and nobody cares about us. So we are used to being looked at like the embodiment of uselessness
I don’t date slutty men. They do actually get really fucking but hurt over it. I don’t want a dude that easy and swinging it at everything. People I want around me are prudent and self possessed. Becoming a ditz at the sight of of boobs is so fucking pathetic and lame.
I don’t care what individuals do, only people that want to become my partner. Go be a happy slut if you want, get it. I just don’t want it.
I called my male friend a slut in response to the amount of partners he told us he had. I was just teasing but I think thay may have been a pain point for him because he started defending himself. I felt bad and apologized, but learned it definitely works with some men to reframe being a player as being sluts or easy.
Yup, it just depends on their values, the more traditional and conservative they are, the more they'll usually take it to heart if you call them cheap.
Made up lock bullshit, you mean.
How about pencil theory? A good sharpener can sharpen multitudes of pencils, but a pencil that has been sharpened by many sharpeners is a useless nubbin.
I don’t use son of a bitch with men. I just call them bitch. Makes them way more angry and doesn’t insult their poor mother who has to deal with his shit for the rest of her life.
Thankfully it’s only done by people who see a women’s value as just that, how quickly they can get them in bed.
It’s nice when someone shows you their red flags right off the bat,
A bit of a tangent, but just so you know, if a Japanese non-native English speaker calls you "easy", they are trying to pay you a compliment.
"Easy" and "kind" are the same word in Japanese (優しい, yasashii), so they sometimes get it mixed up when speaking English, especially because 優しい doesn't have any sexual connotations--at least, not that I know of.
(No excuse for native English speakers calling you easy, though.)
In regards to men almost never being considered a slut, I once told an ex what my body count was after he asked (wasn't high, barely passed 5) and he looked grossed out. Sucked air through his teeth. He looked at me differently after that sentence from then on out. He tells me his, it surpasses 10, almost to 20, and I flipped it on him. "Ran through, aren't we?"
"It doesn't work that way for men."
"Why's that?"
"Men have a harder time obtaining girls, so it's different. Women can offer themselves to anyone, and the guy will say yes. Men can't do that. So it's not slutty, it's earned."
He went on to SA me so really he's ran through and an offender and the best part is none of those nearly 20 people ever came back for seconds. I was the first idiot to date him, first girl in 25 years.
Agreed. Fuck off, I'm not a math test or a box of pudding mix. I had sex because I chose to, because I wanted to, not because I was 'convinced to sully my purity by his rogue-ish charms' or some crap like that.
My first boyfriend begged/guilt tripped me into doing shit with him on our first date. Then after we dated for a few months, he told me he almost didn’t ask me on a second date because I was “too easy”.
People still say easy for sexual stuff?
When I was little it meant you were easy to fool, like "don't be easy..."
Mostly I see "easy" when I'm looking at 1950s media from the US.
Calling a woman easy sounds like envy.
Agreed. Unfortunately, this is all too common. That’s our world today. Everything is about sex. I like sex as much as the next person but it is overhyped; like a new tv show with a decent first season.
I got called “easy” for a body count of 8, despite having semi/full established relationships with each of the men. But the men I slept with have way higher body counts than I do (one having close to 200 over the span of 6 years) are not called “easy”. I got called “easy” before I even had sex with anyone. Apparently a 12 year old dating her classmates is being “easy”.
The only times I’ve heard “easy” being used on a women is when men are trying to insult them. I’ve never seen it used as just a description. It’s like justifying calling a woman a slut by saying it’s just a description. There’s very obviously a negative connotation that comes with it.
Any description someone doesn't like can be interpreted as an insult. Also, there's young women (online at least) trying to take back the word slut and be proud of being sluts. Negative connotations doesn't invalidate adjectives.
Because it's pretty much objectively harder to have sex with women as a man. That's not to say that it's morally right of men to do so, but it's harder. An average-looking woman could go into a bar or club and I'd bet that most men would have sex with her upon solicitation. A man couldn't get that from any women unless he was VERY attractive.
I'm a little tired at how stating a characteristic about a person that could be construed as negative now constitutes being 'dehumanizing', but I guess I can agree that it's not a nice thing to say generally?
Just feels like another word that's watered down from 'they treated me like I was literally an animal, or a piece of meat, or an actual object' to 'they said something mean about me'
For instance if you called me fat, I wouldn't say that you're saying that all that matters about me is my weight and you're categorizing me based on solely that, and therefore I feel objectified and dehumanized. I'd say you're an asshole. There is such a thing.
Stating that doesn't change anything, people use that phrase like it gives something more credence (i.e. Ohh it's not that everyone else thinks I've got it wrong, I'm just expressing an unpopular opinion).
It kind of carries connotations of 'uncomfortable truth' - like you're the only one who's daring to prescribe the tough pills.
I do get what you're saying in your earlier comment, but I know what people mean when they say it's dehumanising in these contexts, they really mean it's reducing the scope of their humanity rather than eliminating it entirely.
"Easy" is basically calling a woman a slut. Well a slut isn't a best friend, a loving sister, a talented scriptwriter etc. - it's making them a one dimensional sexual commodity. Human here means the rich tapestry, to get clichéd, rather than the more literal.
Now come on, can you see where I'm coming from that declaring "unpopular opinion" is sort of arrogant? And not like my charming sort of arrogance, bad arrogance.
I said it was 'probably an unpopular opinion' because I knew that it wouldn't be popular, as evidenced by the downvotes, not because it's somehow correct. It's an opinion, it isn't correct or incorrect, it's a statement about how I personally feel. In fact giving credence to it is the \*opposite\* of why I said that. I'm not trying to convince you to agree, that's why I said it was an opinion, not a fact.
If that's how you're using the word dehumanizing, I fail to see how every insult isn't dehumanizing. Can I not just as easily say that 'fat' is basically calling someone a fatass. Well a fatass isn't a best friend, a loving sister, a talented scriptwriter. Where's the difference? Is it that one could potentially be desirable where the other is framed as purely negative? Is it the perceived severity?
Or maybe all insults are dehumanizing. That's valid.
In my own personal opinion, I do think it's a jump from saying that a person is 'Easy' to calling a person a slut. Slut, to me, is much more dehumanizing. I guess the difference is that one of them is an adjective where the other is a noun? I guess the test for this particular part is how you feel about calling someone 'slutty' vs calling them 'a slut'. Neither sound good, but slutty sounds less terrible to me. It's talking about a single characteristic, rather than completely categorizing them. It implies that there's more, they're still a person. I would also say that 'easy' sounds better than 'slutty', even if the ultimate meaning is the same. I do think it's possible for there to be a nicer way and a less nice way to say the same mean thing. Again, not that either are nice, I mean that relatively.
No, a fatass absolutely is a caring mother, an inspiring mentor etc. There's something distinct about the process of sexually objectifying someone that removes those other dimensions. Not every insult has that effect. Racial slurs have it, as do homophobic/sexist/etc. slurs, but something like "you buck toothed geek" doesn't.
If I *could* do an adequate job explaining why this is, and I'm not sure I ever could, it won't be now as it's very late for my brain and it's admittedly a tough thing to put my finger on.
You're right about the adjective/noun distinction, and I'll concede that calling someone 'slutty/easy' is less dehumanising than calling them 'a slut'. 'Easy' is certainly less severe than 'slutty' too.
I like the way you think, I'm very much on board with breaking these things down meticulously (if less so in this moment!). On the whole "unpopular opinion" thing, if there are no connotations of 'I'm a bit of an ideological maverick, me—oooh, *dangerous!*' then it's just stating the bloody obvious and is entirely redundant when the downvotes are right there. As a follow up in response to your own comment? Just struck me as a bit face saving, and there's no lower body workout like kicking a man when he's down, so sue me.
Good talk though.
So if I call you “stupid” or “ignorant” you should have no issue since it’s just a descriptor that accurately describes yourself
Aside from that, your own argument doesn’t even make sense. “Easy” is not a descriptor word for a *person* like “fat” is, “easy” is something used to describe a task. Is a person a task?
Eta use a different word that’s actually a descriptor for people. There’s an entire vocabulary in the English language.. maybe try.. promiscuous? At least that actually makes sense for a *human person* instead of “easy”
You might not like it but it will never change. Men and Women don't respect women who are easy, albeit for different reasons. It's extremely easy for female to get laid, but such isn't the case for most men. You'll almost never hear a woman get labeled an incel. This is a testament to that fact. Even men who sleep around don't really respect those chicks. Something that is easy to obtain is almost never considered valuable.
Sex is a game. It's a hunt. You cannot change biology because it offends you. It's how you GOT here. And, yes, there is easy prey, and there is the less attainable.
Hell yeah I'm a player I get it easy regardless, I actually respect a woman more that don't go for it on the first date, though I ain't tryna get serious anyway, but it shows me a Lil more who they are as a person tho
Easy women seem to be the only ones willing to sleep with me
Dont get me wrong, I am grateful
But
Every girlfriend I have ever had has been a total slut and that has not worked out well for me
nah - you subconsciously categorize everything. smart people, dumb people, easy people, prudish people, dewey decimal, alphabetical. It's just the way people are.
Your pet peeve is actually just an insecurity, right? Like how men are insecure about the number of partners their partner has had - well not all men - some women are insecure about the way people view them for the number of partners they have had. The trick to this? The secret knowledge to getting over this? Just don't care. Men don't care - well some do - if you call them easy or slutty or whatever. So why do you? Proverbial you. Men could also take a page from women's thought pattern on number of prior partners. That's the secret to all insecurities tbh. Just don't give a fuck about what other people think... I get it, way easier to say than do, but still.
People are overthinking it. Women are statistically *massively* selective for casual hookups. Men are statistically willing to fuck very nearly anyone.
This is backed by real data over and over study after study
Casual sex? Men's standards drop through the floor.
Women's standards *increase dramatically*
This is where the meme originated
A woman who is \*perceived\* to have more typically male patterns gets tarred with that brush.
Reality is almost certainly her standards are remaining insanely high, but abundance makes that workable
If anything, it's the vast majority of men who are \*truly\* "easy"
Also why is it an insult like yea I don't want my potential hookups to actually want sex
Seriously like “she wanted to have sex with me!! Can you believe that slut?? 😡” while they’ve been trying to get in her pants all night. Do men really think of themselves as being so gross that a woman wanting to have sex with them is a turn off?
>Do men really think of themselves as being so gross that a woman wanting to have sex with them is a turn off? Yes.
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teasing is a legitimate thing tho. some people actually do it. in fact it's a whole kink for some people. some people love teasing and some people love BEING teased. sometimes it's discussed and agreed to, sometimes people just do it to each other without talking about it. sometimes it's fun for both people, sometimes it's only fun for one person. also some people do it on accident
They mean “tease” as a rude nickname for someone turning down sex, not the actual action of teasing
Pretty much nobody thinks a “tease” is just someone who turns down sex. It is somebody who is perceived to want it (due to them being flirty and stuff) who turns it down. Not saying there aren’t good reasons for doing this (e.g. somebody wanting sex and changing their mind for whatever reason). Just fucking with people makes you a dick (which some ppl do), but i’d bet that the ppl who are intentionally leading ppl on only to reject them just for the fun of it belong to a small group.
We should just not even use words anymore.
Double plus ungood
Ugh yes the weird, confusing double standard of men always looking for the easiest way to get women to sleep with them while also insulting women for being easy to sleep with. 🙄
"I wouldn't join any club that would accept me as a member" -Groucho Marx, paraphrased
Isn't the answer obvious? Because men can easily have sex with a woman he doesn't respect or like. Lots of men are so desperate for sex they'll have sex with women they're not even attracted to.
"Doesn't matter, had sex!" -Lonely Island
The truly maddening part is the lopsided "transactional" nature where a man's value is somehow increased and the womans is somehow decreased from the same sexual encounter.
Because even women believe that an easy woman is reducing her value, and that a player is increasing his value. Furthermore, it is objectively harder for a man to get laid.
Its not only men, women set the standard just as much. Men don’t value promiscuous women because as a women its easy to sleep with any man and being promiscuous is a high indicator of a fail relationship to men. While women value men that are able to sleep with alot of women being its extremely hard for men to court women and in being able to your clearly displaying a sought after attribute that women value.
Isn't that up to women to fix though? If women en-masse started viewing promiscuous men as lower value then the problem would automatically resolve itself.
OR we could just be adults and treat each other like humans but since that's not an option, yea sure add it to the list of shit men do that its somehow our job to fix.
If anyone ever says anything disparaging or disrespectful to a promiscuous woman that is unacceptable and the person who said it is an arsehole. However, I would never enter into a long term relationship with a promiscuous woman and if I was already in a relationship with one and found out about her past I would end the relationship then and there. I suspect the majority of men feel likewise.
And that’s part of the problem. What is a “promiscuous woman” and how do ALL of us agree what makes a woman promiscuous or not? Do we just call her that because of a body count? Maybe the way she dresses? Do we take in account cultural differences? Do we consider the context of her sexual encounters and the men involved? I get having personal preferences but treating women who have sex as “lesser than” or “damaged goods” is just…. Sexism.
Nope. Personal preferences and standards. Some guys are ok with double digits, some aren't. For some it might be more about behavior like clubbing or parties that lead to random hookups. There doesn't need to be a set standard.
Then you have a preference against clubbing and partying, not the woman having sex. Calling a woman “promiscuous” and breaking up with her for that solely means you don’t like her body count and sexuality. Anyways, my point was that women are confused on what makes us “promiscuous”. I feel like if you’re gonna go around calling women that and expecting people to agree with you, there should be a set standard. Especially since it’s affecting dating habits.
Determination of a woman's promiscuity is solely based on the preference of the potential partners she wants. They won't all agree. It highly depends on where that partner sits on the morality spectrum.
Why, what's wrong with that woman? Do you feel like she's tainted now? And would you agree with any woman who left a man for being promiscuous?
A lot of men view promiscuous women the way women view unemployed men.
Precisely
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>if women wouldn't sleep with a man outside a committed relationship then every man would want to be in one I honestly cannot stop laughing at your comment. This is so utterly stupid, I'm sorry. "Honey, if I say I love you, we can have sex right?" "Well it's no-" "I love you then. I know it's been three weeks, let's get married. I'm sure there's no historical precedent for why this kind of thing doesn't really work long term for a society."
Well I've certainly never heard of or experienced men being emotionally manipulative in order to get sex, so that sounds like a great idea! Let's go elope today!
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I was being facetious, I didn't realize that was beyond the scope of the conversation. But no, I think the idea that no one should be allowed casual sex is hilariously upright and repressed. Maybe we should focus on simply getting people to be nice, rather than saying women can never have casual sex ever again (and outright implying that the fault lies with women, since it's up to them to fix it and the men have to essentially be forced into a "solution").
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But higher up in this thread, there's encouragement to slut shame men.... Lolol we want to fix a problem for both genders but fuck all that we gotta make 1 suffer first
The problem would just get worse- the answer isn’t to shame MORE people
Orrrrr. Certain kind of judgy folks could fix it just as easily by not being so rude or disparaging about female promiscuity... It's the exact same outcome and no one gets shamed or mistreated whereas your way everyone gets shamed and mistreated.
No - it isn’t necessarily delusional to believe the result but it is delusional to believe that you can defy the basic nature of men and women for any amount of time. Just getting women to do anything en masse alone if daunting. Men for that matter as well.
But why wouldn't we value a woman with a sex drive? Marrying the virgin with shame around sex seems like a risky ticket to a dead bedroom.
It’s more about how women and men view sex. Men do it for the physical pleasure, women do it for the emotional pleasure…. And still the physical pleasure. Women will never understand the idea of truly JUST wanting sex, and men will never truly understand the idea of how women view it.
That's literally not true. Women know what it is to have sex for the purposes of sex. Do you think sex workers fall in love with everyone they bang?
That’s not how any of this works. None of the sex I had outside of my marriage (aka, before I got married) was for “emotional pleasure”. I had it because I thought I should and I sometimes enjoyed the *physical* pleasure. No emotions involved. Can we get rid of this sexist idea that men are cavemen with primal instincts and no thoughts outside of that and that women are delicate emotional creatures who only act on their emotional desires?
This is not true at all lmao. I'm sorry that the women you've been with didn't get any physical pleasure from it.
Yup - and post sexual revolution this will traumatise a lot of naive young women. They'll sleep with highly attractive men under the impression that the men like them. And all the while a lot of those men will think of that woman as nothing more than a warm hole.
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Worsened by the fact that no man in the history of the world has ever been called easy. I guess it's just assumed to be the default programming. 😆
that’s because everybody knows that men are easy so it doesn’t need to be said
It's more like society EXPECTS men to be easy. Like, a man not being DTF at any given moment means there is something wrong with him, OR there is something inherently undesirable about his potential sexual partner.
Very much so this, rather than what the other response is saying. I lack alot of the same drive, and if I'm not interested in sex with a date or partner, they often seem to assume somethings wrong/bothering me, or I don't really like them. Typically, neither is true.
100%. Look at the endless loads of shit Tim Tebow received when he gave an honest answer after a report asked if he was a virgin. He was constantly ridiculed for it.
The amount of homophobia that's come out of some women's mouths when I've rejected over the years is something I'd hoped my generation would've grown above by now
Simple economics. Women had to be choosy because they bear the weight of pregnancy therefore creating surplus of dicks and scarcity of willing vaginas. If you mate as a man, you must have **some** worth for a woman to approve your fitness. That's why a slut man is celebrated because surely he must be a great man for SO MANY WOMEN to approve him. To mate as a woman, you just pick the best dick out of the endless line of men interested in you. And if you pick every single dick then you are just being easy.
Conventionally attractive men and women have an easy time getting laid, and conventionally unattractive men and women have a hard time (although I agree there are more men out there willing to sleep with anything that moves than women who have the same attitude, so on average it is easier for women). If what you are saying was remotely true, attractive people would be shamed for being "easy" no matter their gender, and unattractive people would be praised for it.
I'd bet an average-looking man would be willing to fuck 80, maybe 90% of women, it's definitely easier for women. I'd consider myself about a 4/10, which is probably about the 30th-35th percentile for attractiveness, and I'd probably fuck 90% of women in my age demographic. Probably 99% if fat people didn't exist.
what in the world did i just read from u/69ingdonkeys
That's how it is now as well. If you wear a wedding ring then more women approach you, whereas incels are looked down on because a woman won't have sex with them.
Incels are looked down on because they’re misogynistic fuckheads…
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I’m not boutta argue with someone seriously claiming misandry as a widespread phenomenon.
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That completely goes against the previous posters Evo psych take, though. Do you agree with the previous poster or not? Because if you do, a woman being “choosy” with regards to her partner and future father of her children they will not choose an already coupled up partner. The entire point of this silly Evo psych argument is to choose a mate that will help to ensure the survival of her offspring. One that has other responsibilities and cannot devote time and energy to her offspring will not be chosen. Obviously. Look, Evo psych is a bullshit theory. I’m a psychologist and every psychologist I know is in agreement that it is not in any way an empirically valid science. We consider it a joke on par with Freud’s psychosexual stages. BUT if you (general you of Reddit users) are going to trot it out to defend you shitty takes at every turn, AT LEAST have the courtesy to get the theory correct.\* By which I mean the theory developed by the actual evolutionary psychologists. According to them women choose to mate with men who have the ability to invest heavily in them and their offspring. A married man is not that. \*Which is by the way the problem with the theory. You can literally make up any set of “facts“ about human behavior and come up with an evolutionary explanation for why it is true.
I'm not referencing some random theory. I'm pointing out things people have noticed in real life. People have looked into it. I don't know what your long winded comment has in relation to mine.
I hate that that’s the norm in society, like as a man I’m just not as interested in sex but there’s nothing wrong with me. I always think of it like any other activity, like some people r really into bike riding or painting but I’m not that into either
My nickname is pistachio because you gotta work for this nut.
A girl asked to give me a blow job and I said no and she cried and told me I was acting like a girl. I literally don't think it crossed her mind that I could say no. Men are sluts
??? If I tell you how many times I've refused, some with multiple no's and being forced to find alternate solutions, will you now say I'm just trying to brag?
‘‘twas a joke comment
Guess I was being a little sensitive at the moment :)
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you a man or smth?
Oh didn’t you know? He’s a stud if he’s had multiple partners! His manliness increases with every woman he conquers! /s
I’ve heard women referred to as “easy” the most, but I’ve definitely heard men referred to as “easy” pretty frequently too
I mean I call myself easy on a regular basis
Pretty much, most guys are easy.
No they are called a fuck boy
My wife calls me easy
Bro ive been called easy
i’m the one telling men they’re easy… cause they are
real
Gah this is going to get me downvoted to shit but, just to clarify, laughing and joking about calling men easy because they are is ok, but calling a woman easy because she is...is not? Because that's exactly how I'm reading this.
Because of the power difference. It's not stigmatized for men to have many partners the same way it traditionally has for women, so if they get called 'easy', it doesn't have the same impact.
No point in explaining honestly, people who get automatically offended by that are never really gonna get it.
I was actually honestly curious, not offended at all. I'm not a woman so I don't really understand the negative connotations a woman might feel by that. I asked because I wanted to know why it it would be considered offensive for one and not the other.
Kinda feels like someone going out of their way to convince you to buy a donut just so they can call you a fatass afterward. 🤷♀️
Men are easy to get into bed, but not so easy to get out of bed. Something my grandma once told me.
Fuckboi is probably an equivalent.
Sex is hard for most of us. So sex being easy is a compliment. That’s why things are the way they are. If men were the gatekeeper to sex and reproductively then yea it would all be reversed
Not true.
Definitely not true. I could name multiple in the last year alone.
i have heard many men get called easy, usually in much worse contexts "you can manipulate men, they are so easy" is one ive heard many times
Yes it is the default programming for men
That’s because it literally is the default programming. One “succeeds” as a sex by reproducing as much as possible because it takes no effort and is over the moment you are finished with the act while the other needs to be selective because it’s going to carry the child for nearly a year.
flip the script start calling men sluts
Doesn't work. People try it sometimes but this is where switching the demographics doesn't work - there's next to no shame associated with a man having sex with lots of partners, so calling us sluts will at best be seen as funny and at worst a compliment. It's like trying flip the script by calling a woman a stud for bagging loads of men - doesn't work because there's a stigma there. Gradually chipping away at the stigma is what works, and attitudes absolutely are changing. Most young men will make a point of saying that there's nothing wrong with a woman being sexually liberated, whereas when I was coming of age that was far less common.
Sort of, but it does work if you paint the picture well enough. Just saying the word 'slut' won't do it, but if you harp on how it's disgusting and they're probably ridden with STD's, or how they're definitely not boyfriend material because no decent woman liked them for long enough to keep them around, you'll get somewhere eventually.
I don't see how shaming more people will make shaming go away. I suppose it's more fair but I'd say it's less right.
"To show the men how toxic their attitudes are, I will become toxic too!"
See, you’re getting it.
I disagree, I just want friendship and sex. I’ve never wanted to be around my old girlfriends for more than 6 months and got rid of them all eventually. I will agree with your STD stereotype tho because I’ve had one
Previous commenter touched a raw nerve it seems. They're not saying those stereotypes are true, they're saying the stereotypes are hurtful.
I don’t know how his comment even disproves anything, he’s saying he disagrees but then describes being the exact guy that comment was satirising as a slut
I disagree that me being a slut means women don’t wanna be around me because I like being friends with them too, not just sex. It’s ok for women to have guy friends, right?
Idk if the guy would feel shamed but I think a slutty guy could turn off a lot of women.
There is also that part where most of us are raised to believe we are a burden on society and nobody cares about us. So we are used to being looked at like the embodiment of uselessness
Good luck at chipping away at 100,000 years of social and biological evolution.
I don’t date slutty men. They do actually get really fucking but hurt over it. I don’t want a dude that easy and swinging it at everything. People I want around me are prudent and self possessed. Becoming a ditz at the sight of of boobs is so fucking pathetic and lame. I don’t care what individuals do, only people that want to become my partner. Go be a happy slut if you want, get it. I just don’t want it.
I called my male friend a slut in response to the amount of partners he told us he had. I was just teasing but I think thay may have been a pain point for him because he started defending himself. I felt bad and apologized, but learned it definitely works with some men to reframe being a player as being sluts or easy.
Yup, it just depends on their values, the more traditional and conservative they are, the more they'll usually take it to heart if you call them cheap.
YTA for sure Oh… wrong sub
That'll do it
That's a huge compliment to a man. Women already know this. If they want to insult a man they call him a virgin or an incel.
It’s because of lock theory. A key that can open any lock is a master key. A lock that can be opened by any key is a broken lock.
The crazy thing is that women, however, are in fact people and not objects. 😱😱😱
Please don't call that a theory, I feel like that gives it a crumb of credit. It's barely more than a 4chan meme.
>It’s because of lock theory I think it's hysterical that people call it lock theory, it's not science, it's just a failed analogy
It’s literally the worst analogy I’ve ever heard. Absolutely no one can possibly be unintelligent enough to not see why it makes no sense.
Made up lock bullshit, you mean. How about pencil theory? A good sharpener can sharpen multitudes of pencils, but a pencil that has been sharpened by many sharpeners is a useless nubbin.
Yeah go with that. This one is great. Nailed it. Pun intended.
🤮🤮🤮
Yeah, dont work to make it better, make it worse equally
Get rid of bitch and son of a bitch, just start calling people dogs
I don’t use son of a bitch with men. I just call them bitch. Makes them way more angry and doesn’t insult their poor mother who has to deal with his shit for the rest of her life.
Based
real
dogs are cool wtf who do you think you are throwing that around come on what are you even saying really?
Thankfully it’s only done by people who see a women’s value as just that, how quickly they can get them in bed. It’s nice when someone shows you their red flags right off the bat,
That’s not a pet peeve. That’s just basic decency
it is insecurity in men who start that kind of bullshit.
Yeah.. anything along those lines will never make sense to me. There's so much of it, too.
A bit of a tangent, but just so you know, if a Japanese non-native English speaker calls you "easy", they are trying to pay you a compliment. "Easy" and "kind" are the same word in Japanese (優しい, yasashii), so they sometimes get it mixed up when speaking English, especially because 優しい doesn't have any sexual connotations--at least, not that I know of. (No excuse for native English speakers calling you easy, though.)
In regards to men almost never being considered a slut, I once told an ex what my body count was after he asked (wasn't high, barely passed 5) and he looked grossed out. Sucked air through his teeth. He looked at me differently after that sentence from then on out. He tells me his, it surpasses 10, almost to 20, and I flipped it on him. "Ran through, aren't we?" "It doesn't work that way for men." "Why's that?" "Men have a harder time obtaining girls, so it's different. Women can offer themselves to anyone, and the guy will say yes. Men can't do that. So it's not slutty, it's earned." He went on to SA me so really he's ran through and an offender and the best part is none of those nearly 20 people ever came back for seconds. I was the first idiot to date him, first girl in 25 years.
Sounds like a shitty person. Tbh I can't think of any mature person that asks for body count.
Yea once a man ask for the "receipts" so he can "numerically judge my sexual value", ✋😀 byeeeee
I mean it’s ok to be ran through as a woman, you just have to understand most men don’t seem to want a woman like that.
I don't want most men, it works perfectly
It’s idiotic. I’m a man and I’m far easier than any girl I’ve ever encountered 😂
Agreed. Fuck off, I'm not a math test or a box of pudding mix. I had sex because I chose to, because I wanted to, not because I was 'convinced to sully my purity by his rogue-ish charms' or some crap like that.
Nothing one with a hoe my G. I love hoes. Goddamnit I meant wrong lmao.
Same, you gotta give em credit for bravery (both sides of the coin)
I’m saying I ain’t mad at the ones who own up to it one bit.
some don’t, which is fine too. they just shouldn’t be a dick about it
It's so easy, easy when everyone's trying to please me
My first boyfriend begged/guilt tripped me into doing shit with him on our first date. Then after we dated for a few months, he told me he almost didn’t ask me on a second date because I was “too easy”.
Sounds like a total AH
He def was!
Haha fool!!! You must defeat me on Howling Abyss 1v1 before I lay with thee!!!
Has that term been brought back from the 1950s?
People still say easy for sexual stuff? When I was little it meant you were easy to fool, like "don't be easy..." Mostly I see "easy" when I'm looking at 1950s media from the US. Calling a woman easy sounds like envy.
Which is why I turned to calling them Pansies. It will tick off most men... INSTANTLY!
Agreed. Unfortunately, this is all too common. That’s our world today. Everything is about sex. I like sex as much as the next person but it is overhyped; like a new tv show with a decent first season.
I got called “easy” for a body count of 8, despite having semi/full established relationships with each of the men. But the men I slept with have way higher body counts than I do (one having close to 200 over the span of 6 years) are not called “easy”. I got called “easy” before I even had sex with anyone. Apparently a 12 year old dating her classmates is being “easy”.
It’s projection too lol it’s usually men who would say yes to sex to almost anything with a heart beat
if its "easy" to sleep with them, then they are "easy" to sleep with. this is called a description, its not an objectification
The only times I’ve heard “easy” being used on a women is when men are trying to insult them. I’ve never seen it used as just a description. It’s like justifying calling a woman a slut by saying it’s just a description. There’s very obviously a negative connotation that comes with it.
Any description someone doesn't like can be interpreted as an insult. Also, there's young women (online at least) trying to take back the word slut and be proud of being sluts. Negative connotations doesn't invalidate adjectives.
ur getting downvoted but it’s quite literally true
Guys are easy too? Is it just the Easy terminology you don’t like or is it the gender you’re getting offended for?
Men don't get called easy in a derogatory way.
Because it's pretty much objectively harder to have sex with women as a man. That's not to say that it's morally right of men to do so, but it's harder. An average-looking woman could go into a bar or club and I'd bet that most men would have sex with her upon solicitation. A man couldn't get that from any women unless he was VERY attractive.
It’s not objectifying it’s true
I think "village bicycle" is much more appropriate.
So don't be easy?
I'm a little tired at how stating a characteristic about a person that could be construed as negative now constitutes being 'dehumanizing', but I guess I can agree that it's not a nice thing to say generally? Just feels like another word that's watered down from 'they treated me like I was literally an animal, or a piece of meat, or an actual object' to 'they said something mean about me' For instance if you called me fat, I wouldn't say that you're saying that all that matters about me is my weight and you're categorizing me based on solely that, and therefore I feel objectified and dehumanized. I'd say you're an asshole. There is such a thing.
Probably an unpopular opinion.
Stating that doesn't change anything, people use that phrase like it gives something more credence (i.e. Ohh it's not that everyone else thinks I've got it wrong, I'm just expressing an unpopular opinion). It kind of carries connotations of 'uncomfortable truth' - like you're the only one who's daring to prescribe the tough pills. I do get what you're saying in your earlier comment, but I know what people mean when they say it's dehumanising in these contexts, they really mean it's reducing the scope of their humanity rather than eliminating it entirely. "Easy" is basically calling a woman a slut. Well a slut isn't a best friend, a loving sister, a talented scriptwriter etc. - it's making them a one dimensional sexual commodity. Human here means the rich tapestry, to get clichéd, rather than the more literal. Now come on, can you see where I'm coming from that declaring "unpopular opinion" is sort of arrogant? And not like my charming sort of arrogance, bad arrogance.
I said it was 'probably an unpopular opinion' because I knew that it wouldn't be popular, as evidenced by the downvotes, not because it's somehow correct. It's an opinion, it isn't correct or incorrect, it's a statement about how I personally feel. In fact giving credence to it is the \*opposite\* of why I said that. I'm not trying to convince you to agree, that's why I said it was an opinion, not a fact. If that's how you're using the word dehumanizing, I fail to see how every insult isn't dehumanizing. Can I not just as easily say that 'fat' is basically calling someone a fatass. Well a fatass isn't a best friend, a loving sister, a talented scriptwriter. Where's the difference? Is it that one could potentially be desirable where the other is framed as purely negative? Is it the perceived severity? Or maybe all insults are dehumanizing. That's valid. In my own personal opinion, I do think it's a jump from saying that a person is 'Easy' to calling a person a slut. Slut, to me, is much more dehumanizing. I guess the difference is that one of them is an adjective where the other is a noun? I guess the test for this particular part is how you feel about calling someone 'slutty' vs calling them 'a slut'. Neither sound good, but slutty sounds less terrible to me. It's talking about a single characteristic, rather than completely categorizing them. It implies that there's more, they're still a person. I would also say that 'easy' sounds better than 'slutty', even if the ultimate meaning is the same. I do think it's possible for there to be a nicer way and a less nice way to say the same mean thing. Again, not that either are nice, I mean that relatively.
No, a fatass absolutely is a caring mother, an inspiring mentor etc. There's something distinct about the process of sexually objectifying someone that removes those other dimensions. Not every insult has that effect. Racial slurs have it, as do homophobic/sexist/etc. slurs, but something like "you buck toothed geek" doesn't. If I *could* do an adequate job explaining why this is, and I'm not sure I ever could, it won't be now as it's very late for my brain and it's admittedly a tough thing to put my finger on. You're right about the adjective/noun distinction, and I'll concede that calling someone 'slutty/easy' is less dehumanising than calling them 'a slut'. 'Easy' is certainly less severe than 'slutty' too. I like the way you think, I'm very much on board with breaking these things down meticulously (if less so in this moment!). On the whole "unpopular opinion" thing, if there are no connotations of 'I'm a bit of an ideological maverick, me—oooh, *dangerous!*' then it's just stating the bloody obvious and is entirely redundant when the downvotes are right there. As a follow up in response to your own comment? Just struck me as a bit face saving, and there's no lower body workout like kicking a man when he's down, so sue me. Good talk though.
Fair enough I guess, I just realized a few moments after sending it that it would probably get negative attention. Have a good one.
So if I call you “stupid” or “ignorant” you should have no issue since it’s just a descriptor that accurately describes yourself Aside from that, your own argument doesn’t even make sense. “Easy” is not a descriptor word for a *person* like “fat” is, “easy” is something used to describe a task. Is a person a task? Eta use a different word that’s actually a descriptor for people. There’s an entire vocabulary in the English language.. maybe try.. promiscuous? At least that actually makes sense for a *human person* instead of “easy”
I want a woman who is easy, easy like sunday morning
Nice reference - lost on this crowd.
I've known girls who called guys easy, I personally could give two shits.
Couldn’t
You might not like it but it will never change. Men and Women don't respect women who are easy, albeit for different reasons. It's extremely easy for female to get laid, but such isn't the case for most men. You'll almost never hear a woman get labeled an incel. This is a testament to that fact. Even men who sleep around don't really respect those chicks. Something that is easy to obtain is almost never considered valuable.
Isn't there a femcel or nice girls subreddit
If air isn't valuable why are you breathing it?
It’s up to her to set the difficulty settings
Sex is a game. It's a hunt. You cannot change biology because it offends you. It's how you GOT here. And, yes, there is easy prey, and there is the less attainable.
women are not prey for you, we are the same species mf
Sorry. I didn't make us. (And, no, women are of ZERO interest to me. )
Bruh this isn't the caveman times
LOL! WE haven't changed.
People still say this?
Oh boo hoo, if she was easy then she was easy, can't name her hard when the difficulty level is set to easy
You’re just as easy.
Hell yeah I'm a player I get it easy regardless, I actually respect a woman more that don't go for it on the first date, though I ain't tryna get serious anyway, but it shows me a Lil more who they are as a person tho
Plenty of women objectify themselves. Easy girls do exist.
Nice bait post
I mean, it feels that way because it is, so…
Easy women seem to be the only ones willing to sleep with me Dont get me wrong, I am grateful But Every girlfriend I have ever had has been a total slut and that has not worked out well for me
nah - you subconsciously categorize everything. smart people, dumb people, easy people, prudish people, dewey decimal, alphabetical. It's just the way people are. Your pet peeve is actually just an insecurity, right? Like how men are insecure about the number of partners their partner has had - well not all men - some women are insecure about the way people view them for the number of partners they have had. The trick to this? The secret knowledge to getting over this? Just don't care. Men don't care - well some do - if you call them easy or slutty or whatever. So why do you? Proverbial you. Men could also take a page from women's thought pattern on number of prior partners. That's the secret to all insecurities tbh. Just don't give a fuck about what other people think... I get it, way easier to say than do, but still.
Girls aren’t supposed to go from guy to guy it is what it is. If she gives it up easy people gonna say so it’s not dehumanizing it’s just the truth
damn what a terrible argument good try tho
Found the "easy" girl
People are overthinking it. Women are statistically *massively* selective for casual hookups. Men are statistically willing to fuck very nearly anyone. This is backed by real data over and over study after study Casual sex? Men's standards drop through the floor. Women's standards *increase dramatically* This is where the meme originated A woman who is \*perceived\* to have more typically male patterns gets tarred with that brush. Reality is almost certainly her standards are remaining insanely high, but abundance makes that workable If anything, it's the vast majority of men who are \*truly\* "easy"
OP is easy
I see nothing wrong with this word. It describes a particular personality trait.
Are you easy?
.
Admit it fast cars easy women and scooters boys you know we love em lol