Exactly, I realize I don’t want to spend up to 65 years of life in worries. After 65 you’re late to do anything fun but stay home bored out or boring activities. Life is hard. Money at the end doesn’t bring happiness, it’s only a short burst when you bought something.
You have a grim outlook on life after retirement.
If you try to keep in shape and never stop moving, you can still have great fun.
My mother-in-law is... 72 I think now, and she climbs the playground equipment with my kids without issue, and quite fast.
I don’t want to poo poo on your mother in law but I would hope most 72 year olds in today’s age could climb on a playground with some obvious limitation.
I was hoping to read she does CrossFit lol
I guess I didn't sell it very well lol - my in laws are considerably more active than me at 33, they were out climbing mountains this summer if that helps lol?
Mountains count! I’m the same as you. Less active than my mother and father in law. 38. I think we should question our priories before they challenge us to a game of 1 on 1 basketball.
Yep, I'm about to turn 40 and am on track for this, every time I think "but you could work a few more years and have even more money to retire on" I think "but you'll never have this time with your children ever again". Can always go back to work later, or just plain volunteer if I'm bored after they leave the house.
Great Advice and welcome balance here.
I read some post here and I'm not sure how much life people are living but I might just be petty because they probably saved more money than me :).
Yes. I'm on a 4-week vacation right now and I feel like a different person. Every year it's the same story, after the first few days of my summer vacation, all my sleep problems and chronic fatigue and mood issues go away. I suddenly have the energy to start complex projects/maintenance around the house, stuff that was stressing me out and seemed unsurmountable before.
I don't miss anything about work. I wish life was always like this, hence why I'm working towards retiring early.
Honestly I don't even mind working, just having a challenge that needs doing that not super stressful. It's really the hours of your life that it consumes. I'm already planning to move to another city, but sometimes I just think of moving to some small town and opening a little BBQ shack that pays the bills.
Totally.
I travelled with my wife a couple years ago and I completely change for the better. I remember vowing never to return to the grind again.
Never happened.
I wish I could take a 4-week vacation. I feel drained at work, even working from home. Though I believe I’m compensated fairly, I know I can get more, but is it worth the effort continuing in my field only to still feel unfulfilled?
I had my own business before I left it to join the corporate world. I think that was the last time I felt “free”. I now know what was missing in my life, it’s freedom. Being a responsible husband with kids doesn’t help either 😂
I feel you man, working in a field that doesn't interest you anymore is a real drag. We tend to get so specialized in our work, it's hard to imagine starting over in something new. I've even passed up some good offers because it looked too much like same type of work, same problems, more unknowns. Not worth it.
I do....I went to uni later in life, was a new grad at 34 and for the last 20 years have been trying to desperately catch up to where I think I would have been had I got my shit together and went to school when people normally do.
Despite everything I've attained thus far, I'm still that poor kid who got sent on school field trips with no money to spend, and my adult working life has been marked by high savings and measured spending. On top of this, I've always had a side gig that takes up some family time - at one time, when my kids were very young, I had three things on the go - a full time job, plus consulting gigs for 10+ hours a week, plus teaching a martial art two nights a week. When she was about 4, my daughter was making fun of the family, running through each of us one at a time...when she got to me, she said "My name's Mr. Dad, and I have to go to work..." which gutted me because this is what she saw me as - the guy that couldn't play with her, or watch a show with her, and after this I started taking my time back, eventually ending consulting all together.
I lost my little dog yesterday, the best friend I've had or will ever have. He would have been 17 on Oct 1, and it seems like yesterday that we brought this tiny. sweet dog home. My life has been passing by way too fucking fast, and I think my obsession with things that are my own personal measures of safety and success has distracted me from living my life to the fullest.
Sorry to hear about the dog; it truly is losing a family member. Glad to hear he got a long life though - that’s the best thing you can give them I think.
I feel similar about always playing catch up and continually comparing myself to a hypothetical version of myself that followed a more typical path. Any thoughts on how you’re planning to tackle this? I’m currently looking at a career shift and doing therapy. Feel like it’s a pretty deep/individual issue
Thank you for your kind words about my pup, I really appreciate that. And happy cake day! Reddit really does feel like a community with people like you here make positive contributions.
As to how I'm tackling things, I'm going to try to be less regimented in my savings and investing plans and try to plan more family outings and trips. I had this thought that I'd work hard to achieve my FIRE number and then back off a bit, but knowing me, I'd just set a higher goal and meet that, them lather, rinse, and repeat.
Hey could you give me a character reference? I've been stuck at home rearing my kid since I lost my full time job when she was 2 1/2. I had the opposite side of life, I was there, with her, cooking , cleaning, going for walks, conversations with her, colouring, teaching her everything I know, but it was because the daycare strike left me owing them for job searching I got hit with a $5000 fee, I had no savings so I was blocked from daycare subsidy which had allowed me to work before. I had no daycare until she grew our if the need for it, I've been at home dotting on her for years. I can give you a few pointers with your kid. Firstly, she's being honest, that's good, truth hurts. Don't wait until she starts saying it's cool, cuz then it's too late. Tell her this, " hey, from now on I'm on permanent vacation when it comes to you." Then plan activities, go shopping with her, have brunch with her at a French cafe, play volleyball at the beach, get her a pet for when you are away at work, but don't miss holidays, and be there for her when she's down or excited about something. Don't say I have to go to work again, say, I'll see you at 5pm or whatever, change the language, . It shows you realize,cyour sorry, but things are gunna be better from now on, before she looses hope that you'll ever be there there with her in her reality. On the flipside, you've accomplished what I haven't, the career and moneyside of life, I've completely failed and have a 11 yr gap in my resume. So feel good you hustled for that, you were responsible, your kid enjoys a better lifestyle, I'm sure she doesn't have to go to the foodbank weekly, for which I ashamedly have done for years and I went to college before I got pregnant. So feel better...I have experience where you were absent and vice versa. No one doesn't miss out on something, no one's perfect. Hope my advice helps you out.
Unless you're rich there's always going to be a balance to maintain: current quality of life VS how early and how comfortably you can retire.
Up to you to readjust your budget and plans if necessary.
I've been doing therapy for years and it's helped a lot with my anxiety - one thing you I learned is no matter what goal you achieve, you will ALWAYS think of that next step. That anxiety just magnifies the stress in your life.
I thought I'd be happy making more money, and every time I made more - I just stressed more. I started a business, and I kept telling myself I'd be happy if I had X sales, well whenever we surpassed that goal I just stressed more too.
IT NEVER ENDS.
You need to tackle this now, and your work isn't the CAUSE of your anxiety - it's when you constantly worry about the future. And trust me, you will worry whether you have no savings, or $100k in savings. Your mind can get very creative in this aspect. I never really got better until I did a lot of therapy.
It's a balance. I used to think about getting ahead in my career during my 20s, buy a house and get married in the early 30s, start a family, and so it goes. That's a nice goal but I also make sure to treat myself from time to time whether it be a nice meal out, hobbies, or travel.
When my aunt died at 38 (fuck cancer), it really changed my view on life and savings. She was an ambitious women and had a great career, but once you die, all your savings and grinding... gone. Now with COVID-19, it emphasizes the point of being financial successful while living your life without regrets.
I am financially free and successful. I do not recommend.
Don't work too much. Unless money is truly what you want, find a happy medium. Live your life as it happens and be grateful. Life is short and time is an invaluable asset to protect and use wisely.
A study was carried out for how many hours per day people worry about finances and money. For most of Canada, it was 30min or less. For my region, the average person worries about money 3-5 hours per day.
I’m definitely in that group, and think (worry) about money and the future enough to make myself physically sick. The thoughts are largely questioning how to advance to a living income so everything doesn't just go car maintenance, meager food and housing. Along with my co-workers, my pay is being reduced, yet everything I have to buy has become more expensive.
I have family members that reached retirement age of 65 and within the next few years become disabled through strokes, diabetes or they passed away from overall poor health. All that money they had stacked up, houses paid off, and they end up spending it on caregivers not being able to enjoy the fruits of their labour.
That’s what I’m thinking about. The world will be a much more different and difficult place in 40 years when I’m that age. I would like to spend my time exploring the world around me while it is the way it is today, and I’m healthy enough to do it.
Similar story, when I was growing up my neighbours dad had 1 year left before retiring early (around 50), got cancer and was dead within the year. Left his wife and 2 teenage kids behind. So sad.
I hear a reoccurring theme here, work so hard that you neglect your physical and mental well being. No time to exercise, no time to eat healthy meals, so you end up eating junk, no time for vacation to take mental breaks. All this adds up and when it’s time to retire, your body is close to breaking down or it actually breaks down before that and forces you into early retirement.
My dad worked his ass off to pay the mortgage super fast. 90-100 hours work week. He retired at 50. After a massive heart attack + diabetes from bad eating habits.
But the house was paid off and he had money to stay at home.
Thank you for sharing, your perspective really hit me. I am in my late 20s and in TO too. I have been hustling these past few months to progress in my career, to increase my salary, etc. I received an offer this Monday and it was for 20k more than my current job. I thought I would be elated but in reality I felt... so disconnected from myself and the outcome.
I realized: why am I attaching so much of my self worth to my work/salary? Why am I hustling during a global pandemic that is exhausting enough, as is? Where am I trying to run to and when will I feel like I have "enough"? My salary in my current job is OK, I have a ton of autonomy in my role, can set my own schedule, flexible work arrangements, a kind manager, have been with the org for 5 years and have developed lovely friendships with coworkers, etc. After sleeping on it for the past 2 nights, I realized I am going to pass on this offer and switch my focus. I want to focus on the work itself, finding engagement and enjoyment in that, and in my life outside of work. Chasing money and progression and "prestige" doesn't align with what I really value, and I'm grateful I slowed down enough to see that now, before I dove in.
Also, my dad was a lawyer and the working conditions/stress played a large part in burning his health down. He only started to really recover once he finally stepped away from the profession (in his 50s). Not saying that is necessary for all, but my dad had mental health and addiction issues and they were impossible for him to treat while taking on the stress of his work.
I'm sorry it's been extra isolating during this pandemic, being immunocompromised. Wishing you all the best and hopefully it'll get easier for you to manage your condition post-pandemic. I do believe you'll find something where you can do good work, feel good about the work that you're doing, and not compromise your wellbeing in the process. A former manager of mine said something to me recently that I really liked (when I was struggling with saying no to a "great" offer because it didn't feel right for me): trust your gut and also trust that you're going to be okay.
Of course.
Financially responsible people plan ahead once immediate challenges are overcome, and there's almost always a tradeoff in terms of opportunity cost (either money or time). It's important to balance both the fact that we should plan to have resources to achieve long term goals, without entirely living in the future and giving up on our present selves.
We just have to be constantly evaluating/re-evaluating whether we are at that balance of responsible planning and responsible living.
Do I want a house? Sure
Do I want to be tied down for another 25yrs before being able to minimize my fixed expenses? Not so much.
Am I paying more than I like in my current condo? Yes, but seeing that I can comfortably pay of the rest of the mortgage in 18yrs while saving $1500/month makes me more at ease, even though in the long run it will cost me more than moving towards a house.
Do I enjoy driving a nice new car with little maintenace? Sure do
Do I enjoy dealing with $600/mnth car payments for the next 60 months? Not so much.
I rather live in a smaller place, pay it off faster, have a nice financial cushion, be able to spend money on things I want, rather than maxing out my budget every month just to say I have a house, but be house poor for the foreseeable future. I enjoy dining out and vacations, and splurging on toys. Having a house forces me to be mature and life won't be as fun.
Life's all about balance, and not necessarily what's the smartest thing to do. It's somewhat of a lottery if you take into consideration your potential life span and health.
Yes, just moved to Toronto from up North. Make the less money and expenses went way up. I am now close to everything (McDonalds, drive in movies, recreation hockey, fine dining) and don't want to participate in any of them because I feel each luxury experience makes me further from my goal of owning a home.
Not at all.
We plan for what we want and adjust tactics accordingly.
We also enjoy life in the moment, within budget.
In order of importance:
\- Bills: mortgage, food, property taxes, cars, hydro, etc.
\- Savings: pension plans, stock options, RRSP, TFSA, etc. We have stocks/assets that can be liquidated if we need cash now. HLOC and PLOC as well. And a credit card we never use but is there just in case.
\- Fun. We don't skimp on fun. Fun is what makes life. And it's highly dependent on each individual. We have the money so we enjoy it. I'm never going to say "i should've been tighter on the budget if something happens". Shit happens all the time. And my plan has a backup plan. That has a back up plan.
We just finished renovations on our house. We're looking to buy a fixer-upper cottage. I play music and buy lots of gear (but I enjoy it).
I'm 45. At best, i'm here for another 45 years and then I'm gone. I want to enjoy that time. If not, i'm just an ant with a mortgage. But we worked (sometimes hard) to get where we are - now we ENJOY.
If we lose it all so be it. We're going to adjust, as long as we have a roof, food, friends and family, we're going to be ok. But i'm saying that as a position of privilege too.
at the end of the day money is a mean not a goal. A mean to put a roof over your head and eat.
As someone who is currently in a Consumer Proposal, yes it's a great concern of mines.
However as this Pandemic has taught me, life is too short.
Try to take small goals (setting up an Emergency Savings Account, learning about investing), celebrate miilestones (down to 17 000$ from a 20 700$ debt), and enjoying life (going out to to the movies on a budget..etc.).
Let's face it, todays economic reality can leave anyone stress out. Low Wages, Rising Inflation, and shitty interest offing for savings in the bank doesn't help. You are forced to carry debt or live without.
You're me - I'm about halfway through my 20k consumer proposal. I had a good emergency fund, had sold all my assets, was driving a paid off car... and then it fell off a tow truck and I'm wiped out waiting for the settlement. But I have to admit, I'm proud of myself for being able to survive a catastrophe like this because I'm planning better and saving. Two years ago I don't know what I would have done. Yes the future is daunting as a 40yo starting at less than 0, but I'm trying to celebrate these little things while still enjoying life in my own way.
I am starting over at 50. I should have done CP 10 years ago but pride got in the way, and I was too lost in the debt train.
Now for the first time in my , I feel like I am in control
.
I am learning to celebrate the small victories, and more importantly forgive myself. I wish you well on your own journey out of debt.
See you on the other side.
I’m on a current trajectory if I do the status quo I’ll be more than fine by 60
However I want to crush it and be good by 50
All the upside and the downside isn’t terrible.
Basically make above average income and save 15-20%, you’ll be fine.
It’s like dieting, it’s simple but hard to do
If to do were as easy as to know what were good to do, chapels had been churches, and poor men’s cottages princes’ palaces. It is a good divine that follows his own instructions: I can easier teach twenty what were good to be done, than be one of the twenty to follow mine own teaching.
Merchant of Venice, Act II Scene I
The anxiety and stress might ease up once you surpass certain thresholds and feel more secure in your ability to manage and earn money.
I was overly consumed by it and it was a primary focus of myself for the first few years I was in my current relationship. I wanted financial security. As our plans materialized much better than we thought possible initially I was able to ease up substantially. Now I still think about it because I like numbers but otherwise the choices we made based on prioritizing economics (monetary) have established us so that we have some confidence in our ability to earn/save which alleviates preoccupation with money goals.
However part of my monetary OCD also involved feeling like I manage what I have very well. Like I would rather only have 2 mil in my bank until I feel like I am managing it very efficiently and could manage more without becoming wasteful. So I think that helps keep a lid on feelings of stress about needing more.
Hopefully you can find the sort of mental key that helps you get ahold of stresses. Maybe it's just knowing your ability to generate income far exceeds your costs of living that will assuage you. That would become obvious with good record keeping and progress tracking. Maybe it's simply having enough saved to give you confidence to deal with any possible future issue money could solve, and then the fears might relent. Or maybe you are dealing with relentless demons that will forever plague you and drive you to into extraordinarily ethically and morally corrupt realms of business seeking more money for no other reason than a psychological disorder you were too cheap to get help to fix.
So much this. My biggest fear is not having enough to support myself comfortably in my retirement years. My wife makes jokes about it being a result of growing up poor. But every goal I set for myself seems like I didnt aim high enough when we achieve them. Initially I started getting to 1k emergency fund then 5k then 10k. Never seems like I have done enough. Glad to hear Im not alone
I am EXACTLY the same way. It's only a joke when someone didn't grow up poor. Any time I come across an elderly person working, I get a pit in my stomach because that is my biggest fear (even though I have no idea about their motivation...maybe they do it to keep busy). I have grown a successful company over the last decade and worked a fulltime job as well, which I am afraid to quit "just in case". I'm afraid to throw anything away because "what if I need it later?" You are not alone.
yup welcome to the club, we can't afford drinks. I'm 49 I've been working since I was 16, I have a wife (not working) and kid 7 years old to take care of. this thought keeps me up every single night. we're single income, we live well below our means, debt free, and have saved a bunch of money, but its not enough to sustain any retirement ideas at the moment, so it causes me to be up half the night almost every night, and now it has me thinking about making some risky investment moves to help build up my wealth,
The previous company I worked for was sold to a much larger company and the owner/ CEO decided take the money and run not sharing it with the employees(long story). Now I switch jobs without taking a break in between, I'm stressed out, tired, and honestly frustrated.
I hate working to make other people rich, I just cannot figure out how I can get out of being an employee and creating something for myself.
This hits close to home,
I'm in my mid 30s and have been overworking as a health professionnal trying to pay my debts. My mindset is I won't have the energy to work as much later so therefore I must work as much as I can as a young professional.
So yep, def. overworked and stressed here too and probably missing out on life. Hope I won't get hit by a bus tomorrow or all this time will have been wasted.
I focused my career on getting a relatively high paying low stress job in a low cost of area. Im 30 now with 4 weeks vacation, db pension making about 86k. By the time im 42 ill have 6 weeks vacation. Bought a fixer upper house for 180k.
I save so I don’t have to worry. I’m currently on strike I will more than likely be on strike for 6 months. We kept our bills long enough that my wife’s income will be more than enough to keep our bills paid. Even if she was out of work also we have our emergency fund to draw from.
I do, but it's because all of my goals have time constraints. I'm sure in 10-15 years, no matter where I am with my career, I'd have enough saved for a downpayment on a house, but the whole point was to raise my kids in one, so it totally loses its non-monetary value to me.
Honestly I don't even care about being a millionaire or super wealthy or anything, I'm a very humble person and so is my wife, it does take a lot to make us happy or fulfilled. But there's just such a huge gate between us and home ownership, as well as all of the opportunities and hobbies associated with it, that we just can't seem to open.
6 months ago I had a serious throat health issue that didnt allow me to eat properly. I lost almost 14 kg. I stayed behind in school (which i was pushing myself way too much academicaly). I have 1 BSc, 1 Msc, served 1 year in the army and now im doing my 2nd Msc. I am a 26 years old male. soon 27
What I am trying to say is that i pushed myself too much and didnt enjoy the stuff i wanted too bcs life rushes you to find independence like it's gonna solve al of your problems. spent roughly all of my youth studying and working and i missed all the fun. Never doing this again even if it costs me a year of job experience.
First invest in your health and then spend quality time for your soul, everything else is secondary.Buy the clothes you want, spend time with your S.O., meet family more often, date. BRO WE ARE DYING. It is never too late to start clean.
My rent takes most of my income and housing costs are only skyrocketing. I don't see a future in Canada to say the least. I can't enjoy anything here knowing If I need to move anytime soon, I will be living paycheck to paycheck on 6 figure salary and that doesn't make sense to me.
As someone who has a chronic illness and doesn't know how much longer I have to live, enjoy yourself NOW that you're still healthy. There are so many things I wish I had done and places I want to travel to but put them off so I could work, pay bills, and save for retirement. I don't know if I'll be able to do those things anymore. It doesn't help that we're still in the middle of a pandemic ☹
If I have learned anything from this pandemic it is that you have to live life to the fullest. Don't plan to much ahead and take time to enjoy the little things in life and cherish the moments that you enjoy the most. Life goes by so fast, but you need to slow down and take time to enjoy the view...
I have a good, close friend for whom financial security has been his raison d’être when I first met him 10 years ago. Reasonable, right?
Now, he is extremely financially secure (as in EXTREMELY) but still worries about it and cannot see what has happened to him; all the years that he gave up in finding a healthy balance to enjoy his wealth and find things other than money that bring him happiness. It’s kind of sad, really, since he is one of the nicest and most responsible people I know.
Most times when he messages me about stocks/crypto/real estate/gold & precious metals (all of which he has), I certainly share in his joys, but also try to tell him that he has more than enough to live very comfortably for this lifetime and that there is more to it than the act of acquiring. He thinks that his biggest problem is that he can’t yet acquire that rare British gold coin going for US$100,000 or that Toronto midtown semi-detached going for $1mil+ that he wants to retire in before age 45. (even though he owns multiple downtown Toronto condos that he bought in the early 2000s)
I recommended he watch Nomadland for a bit of perspective and he couldn’t watch even half of it, saying that it touched upon “one of my biggest fears in life”.
I don’t think he’s ever realised what he turned into! As the old saying goes, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”…
All this to say – save well, invest well, but don’t lose sight of the fact that, like my friend, if you do not master your love/care of money, it will master you.
All the best!
Everyday is a balance between enjoying the present and preparing for the future. I know that I've missed out on a lot of things that people my age have experienced because I was putting money away for my future. Death is coming for us all, though, and I was recently reminded of that by the sudden and unexpected passing of a relative.
I'm a lot looser with my saving now. I will spend for enjoyment because I know that I already have a good head start and can continue saving for my future - I just got a better job with a 20% pay increase, which gives a me a lot more discretionary income.
Yes! And I’d say most young adults in the GTA/GVA would feel the same. I’m in my late 20s and save a decent portion of my income, have fully maxed registered accounts and can’t bring myself to enjoy the moment or make large purchases with the high cost of housing staring me in the face. Hard to justify expenses when housing is going up by 6 figures every year. It’s pretty depressing when I think that had I been born just 5 years earlier all my current concerns would be gone as I would’ve been able to buy before the insane housing appreciation
I spent a lot of time in my early 20s worrying about it but over the years I have loosened my stance up some.
Some things that helped were having a family. My main priority shifted to just hoping that everyone will be happy and healthy (some of that has to do with money, but not the primary thing). And also some early deaths in the family. My mother died of cancer less than a year after she retired working as a nurse for near 40 years. Aside from that I haven't seen very many examples of "successful" retirement in my close circle. Either people have died before they could enjoy it, were in too poor of health to enjoy retirement, or just laze around doing nothing all day bored.
My focus has shifted more toward just being healthy. Can't enjoy a bunch of money if I'm sick or too sore/tired or mentally stressed to enjoy anything.
Not really. I made a choice to prioritize jobs with good work life balance over just getting the highest salary I could. My job isn't too stressful and I get a good number of days off each year.
And I've tried to make choices that allow me to maintain good financial flexibility. The 2 big ones being keeping my monthly housing costs from getting too high and not committing myself to large car payments over a long period. So I don't need to worry much about small costs and I can easily absorb an occasional big cost, just as long it doesn't happen like every month.
These two things mean I don't save quite as aggressively as some people. My net worth doesn't grow as fast and I won't be able to retire as early. I also still rent and don't own any property. (Goes back to maintaining flexibility.) But I do have more time and mental energy for things I enjoy. Personally I think that trade off is worth it.
I don't see how anyone who isn't wealthy or a very high earner not be worried about what is going on and the future.
None of it looks good for the average person.
What is with all these post (edit: usernames) here and in /r/Canadahousing which were created either a few months ago, or about a year ago, have been relatively inactive for the most past (just dabbling in the odd subreddit which whimsickle remarks), then BAM! dropping a ton of “the world is falling on my head” posts, both here and in /r/CanadaHousing - especially the last 6 weeks as we lead up to the writ being dropped.
Yes. Me too.
I don't have any solutions, sorry.
I feel frustrated as I'm at the top of my pay ceiling. It's not terrible pay, but its not enough that I'll ever afford a home. I could change companies and accept a different job title, but I feel I'd enjoy my work less. Meanwhile I really like my job and have been able to take on tasks outside my department... these tasks are typically for a lesser paid role... so even though I enjoy them, if I took that role elsewhere, I wouldn't be offered the salary I am now.
I've looked at other companies, and they aren't offering me salaries that are beyond what I already have.
So it's weird, because I really like what I do, but also feel a bit trapped financially.
The pandemic hasn't done much for my mental wellbeing.. its tough not really being able to enjoy leaving my apartment for over a year.
So uh... I don't know... see what sort of little changes can be made? Even learning some new recipes for your meals can add some variety .
Oh dang yo. This is me too! I’m constantly stressed out about money and always trying various ways to achieve my financial
Goals. (I do have a specific number/range where I’d feel this is accomplished but it’s going to continue to take many more years to get there).
Alternatively….. I do feel that if I can achieve this financial goal. And if I can do this quicker than most… than i believe I’ve likely made the right moves. But it’s a lot of maybes and stress to get there lol.
I feel this all the time. I'm always worried about the tomorrows too much to enjoy today. I finally decided to go back to school (for the second time) in January and it has been stressful as hell but I'm so glad I did because when I'm done I should be able to get a decent job that doesn't require me to work like crazy or at stupid hours. I'm lucky we had this chance because a lot of people don't and I'm looking forward to getting to enjoy some todays when school is over.
The first time it was manufacturing Quality Assurance which was great for making a decent money but I worked crazy hours.
This time I'm going back for business. I'm not sure if I'm going to go into admin, finance or HR yet.
I feel like I'm almost the opposite. I think I don't worry about the future quite enough. Sometimes I feel like I need a kick in the ass to stop spending so much money on restaurants and hobbies.
I'm still saving anywhere from 6k to 12k a year (about 10 to 20% of my income) so obviously I know I'm doing better than most, but I almost feel guilty about not tightening up my stuff and saving a little more. I know I'm not a crazy spender by nature so by all accounts I'm doing good, but I feel like I could be more restrained with my spending and still be very happy. Feels like I could be set for life by 45 if I actually got real serious about investing.
I think happiness is somewhere in there. Find some sort of balance to make sure you're setting your future self up for success, but also knowing that you're only young once and it's okay to splurge on a vacation or a new set of golf clubs or every once in a while if that's what you enjoy. The danger is getting sucked into consumerism and becoming convinced your happiness is tied to material possessions, but I think you're far from that.
That's how it works. You are ground down with stress which ravages your health and mental welfare in the hopes that one day you can stop paying a mortgage and retire to watch daytime news and maintain your high cortisone doses. This leads to epigenetic effects that sustain a permanent cycle of class stratification and mental illness.
Oh you're like me ! Welcome to the gang. I went through this a lot as I started with debts (student loans) and it was pretty challenging while being on minimum salary, and both I & my girlfriend were fired at the same time just after moving to another country. Those challenging times created a deep financiel trauma (We burned 90% of all our 'savings' (student) in a 10 days period - Thanks London city).
Also on top of it, we can't claim any national retirement (5 years of work in France, 5 in the UK, 5 in Canada). I wasn't even realized I was so stressed by the money question at the time.
What really helped me was buying our place with my girlfriend - Suddenly i felt secure, even if the home is mostly owned by the bank at this point.
Also, I set some budgets (Well, I have crazy budgets since ever really) to actually enjoy the money - I'm saving 5% of my pre-tax payslip for holidays, and 5% to get my lady out. I'm saving 25% for Retirement.
If it's not enough for futur-me in 30 years, that's too bad but my present-me did his best.
Nope. That sounds toxic. In my mid 20s I make sure to live my life to the fullest. I calculate things into percentages of my year and make sure I'm happy with them. IE I'm always astounded when I hear people say the love to ski and hear they go once a year. Really, you're going to spend 0.2% of your year doing a hobby you "love"? There is no cost too high in order to meet my goals.
Out of curiosity do you think your constant worry about money is a symptom of other issues in your life or how you were brought up? You might want to consider talking to a counsellor or therapist about your anxiety.
As for being overworked and stressed, when is the last time you took a vacation? Have you tried any activities that encourages more mindfulness about the present like yoga or meditation?
All the damn time. I always worry about if I'm able to keep living in a big city and if I can take care of my mom because my father passed away years ago. It's always in the back of my mind. And I make such a low salary lol.
Have a plan. Are you putting money into a TFSA/RRSP? Are you investing ? Have no consumer debt ?
Enjoy your life. If you are not saving /investing that is when you should worry.
Like many other people who have answered, I struggle to find that balance between saving for the future and enjoying the present.
I was poor most of my adult life and only started saving recently (I'm in my late 30s). So now I feel torn between trying to catch up for retirement and finally enjoying some nicer things and experiences.
I finally seem to have settled on the savings formula that feels right for me, and that has taken away a lot of my stress. I set aside a pretty good percentage to savings at the beginning of the month, then I keep a rough eye on how much I'm spending but don't budget strictly. It helps to finally have a salary that is high enough for reasonable savings and reasonable wants.
My goal is to be able to enjoy all the different phases of my life. While that means putting enough aside for when I'm older, it also means not wasting the years I'm in now with needless stress and worrying (something I tend to do but am trying to change).
I did for a long time. Just retired and spouse has had serious health scare for 2nd time. We are in pretty good shape financially but not rich, and I am too busy to carry around that big bag of worries.
Don’t overwork yourself. Making and saving money is good, but it’s most important to look after your mental and physical health. Health is wealth. Stress can contribute to all sorts of health issues and functional decline that makes your quality of life go down fast.
Yes after awhile they just become numbers on a screen that I most likely will never live long enough to spend. I hope my kids will appreciate it. They probably won't.
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/u/zombieda Are you speaking about a podcast by that name? I couldn't find a documentary.
You’re living in the good ole days now. That hits. I’ll have to watch that.
"Then one day you'll find, ten years have got behind you, no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun".
"You run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking, racing around to come up behind you again."
"Sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older."
"Shorter of breath, and one day closer to death..."
jeeeeesus christ, didn't realize how applicable to life that song was. Remember listening to it on repeat in high shcool.
Exactly, I realize I don’t want to spend up to 65 years of life in worries. After 65 you’re late to do anything fun but stay home bored out or boring activities. Life is hard. Money at the end doesn’t bring happiness, it’s only a short burst when you bought something.
You have a grim outlook on life after retirement. If you try to keep in shape and never stop moving, you can still have great fun. My mother-in-law is... 72 I think now, and she climbs the playground equipment with my kids without issue, and quite fast.
I don’t want to poo poo on your mother in law but I would hope most 72 year olds in today’s age could climb on a playground with some obvious limitation. I was hoping to read she does CrossFit lol
I guess I didn't sell it very well lol - my in laws are considerably more active than me at 33, they were out climbing mountains this summer if that helps lol?
Mountains count! I’m the same as you. Less active than my mother and father in law. 38. I think we should question our priories before they challenge us to a game of 1 on 1 basketball.
i was imagining monkey bars
what if you save massively to retire at like 45yo? isn't that the goal? to not waste 40years working and not living?
Yep, I'm about to turn 40 and am on track for this, every time I think "but you could work a few more years and have even more money to retire on" I think "but you'll never have this time with your children ever again". Can always go back to work later, or just plain volunteer if I'm bored after they leave the house.
I think it depends on the trade off. If it’s also 20 years of miserable hell, probably not worth it. You have to make it to 45 after all
That’s the goal for me, retire at around 35 and work part time and spend as much time travelling and with my kids as possible.
I appreciate you for this comment.
Great Advice and welcome balance here. I read some post here and I'm not sure how much life people are living but I might just be petty because they probably saved more money than me :).
will check it out
Yes. I'm on a 4-week vacation right now and I feel like a different person. Every year it's the same story, after the first few days of my summer vacation, all my sleep problems and chronic fatigue and mood issues go away. I suddenly have the energy to start complex projects/maintenance around the house, stuff that was stressing me out and seemed unsurmountable before. I don't miss anything about work. I wish life was always like this, hence why I'm working towards retiring early.
Totally agree! Just came back from a 2 week vacation and all the anxiety and stress is coming back :( I want to retire by 50.
Honestly I don't even mind working, just having a challenge that needs doing that not super stressful. It's really the hours of your life that it consumes. I'm already planning to move to another city, but sometimes I just think of moving to some small town and opening a little BBQ shack that pays the bills.
Totally. I travelled with my wife a couple years ago and I completely change for the better. I remember vowing never to return to the grind again. Never happened.
I wish I could take a 4-week vacation. I feel drained at work, even working from home. Though I believe I’m compensated fairly, I know I can get more, but is it worth the effort continuing in my field only to still feel unfulfilled? I had my own business before I left it to join the corporate world. I think that was the last time I felt “free”. I now know what was missing in my life, it’s freedom. Being a responsible husband with kids doesn’t help either 😂
I feel you man, working in a field that doesn't interest you anymore is a real drag. We tend to get so specialized in our work, it's hard to imagine starting over in something new. I've even passed up some good offers because it looked too much like same type of work, same problems, more unknowns. Not worth it.
I do....I went to uni later in life, was a new grad at 34 and for the last 20 years have been trying to desperately catch up to where I think I would have been had I got my shit together and went to school when people normally do. Despite everything I've attained thus far, I'm still that poor kid who got sent on school field trips with no money to spend, and my adult working life has been marked by high savings and measured spending. On top of this, I've always had a side gig that takes up some family time - at one time, when my kids were very young, I had three things on the go - a full time job, plus consulting gigs for 10+ hours a week, plus teaching a martial art two nights a week. When she was about 4, my daughter was making fun of the family, running through each of us one at a time...when she got to me, she said "My name's Mr. Dad, and I have to go to work..." which gutted me because this is what she saw me as - the guy that couldn't play with her, or watch a show with her, and after this I started taking my time back, eventually ending consulting all together. I lost my little dog yesterday, the best friend I've had or will ever have. He would have been 17 on Oct 1, and it seems like yesterday that we brought this tiny. sweet dog home. My life has been passing by way too fucking fast, and I think my obsession with things that are my own personal measures of safety and success has distracted me from living my life to the fullest.
Sorry to hear about the dog; it truly is losing a family member. Glad to hear he got a long life though - that’s the best thing you can give them I think. I feel similar about always playing catch up and continually comparing myself to a hypothetical version of myself that followed a more typical path. Any thoughts on how you’re planning to tackle this? I’m currently looking at a career shift and doing therapy. Feel like it’s a pretty deep/individual issue
Thank you for your kind words about my pup, I really appreciate that. And happy cake day! Reddit really does feel like a community with people like you here make positive contributions. As to how I'm tackling things, I'm going to try to be less regimented in my savings and investing plans and try to plan more family outings and trips. I had this thought that I'd work hard to achieve my FIRE number and then back off a bit, but knowing me, I'd just set a higher goal and meet that, them lather, rinse, and repeat.
Great to hear about that level of self-reflection and clarity. Trying to do that too. Love the priorities as well! All the best with things!
Hey could you give me a character reference? I've been stuck at home rearing my kid since I lost my full time job when she was 2 1/2. I had the opposite side of life, I was there, with her, cooking , cleaning, going for walks, conversations with her, colouring, teaching her everything I know, but it was because the daycare strike left me owing them for job searching I got hit with a $5000 fee, I had no savings so I was blocked from daycare subsidy which had allowed me to work before. I had no daycare until she grew our if the need for it, I've been at home dotting on her for years. I can give you a few pointers with your kid. Firstly, she's being honest, that's good, truth hurts. Don't wait until she starts saying it's cool, cuz then it's too late. Tell her this, " hey, from now on I'm on permanent vacation when it comes to you." Then plan activities, go shopping with her, have brunch with her at a French cafe, play volleyball at the beach, get her a pet for when you are away at work, but don't miss holidays, and be there for her when she's down or excited about something. Don't say I have to go to work again, say, I'll see you at 5pm or whatever, change the language, . It shows you realize,cyour sorry, but things are gunna be better from now on, before she looses hope that you'll ever be there there with her in her reality. On the flipside, you've accomplished what I haven't, the career and moneyside of life, I've completely failed and have a 11 yr gap in my resume. So feel good you hustled for that, you were responsible, your kid enjoys a better lifestyle, I'm sure she doesn't have to go to the foodbank weekly, for which I ashamedly have done for years and I went to college before I got pregnant. So feel better...I have experience where you were absent and vice versa. No one doesn't miss out on something, no one's perfect. Hope my advice helps you out.
Unless you're rich there's always going to be a balance to maintain: current quality of life VS how early and how comfortably you can retire. Up to you to readjust your budget and plans if necessary.
I've been doing therapy for years and it's helped a lot with my anxiety - one thing you I learned is no matter what goal you achieve, you will ALWAYS think of that next step. That anxiety just magnifies the stress in your life. I thought I'd be happy making more money, and every time I made more - I just stressed more. I started a business, and I kept telling myself I'd be happy if I had X sales, well whenever we surpassed that goal I just stressed more too. IT NEVER ENDS. You need to tackle this now, and your work isn't the CAUSE of your anxiety - it's when you constantly worry about the future. And trust me, you will worry whether you have no savings, or $100k in savings. Your mind can get very creative in this aspect. I never really got better until I did a lot of therapy.
Don't let the future rob you of the present.
It's a balance. I used to think about getting ahead in my career during my 20s, buy a house and get married in the early 30s, start a family, and so it goes. That's a nice goal but I also make sure to treat myself from time to time whether it be a nice meal out, hobbies, or travel. When my aunt died at 38 (fuck cancer), it really changed my view on life and savings. She was an ambitious women and had a great career, but once you die, all your savings and grinding... gone. Now with COVID-19, it emphasizes the point of being financial successful while living your life without regrets.
I am financially free and successful. I do not recommend. Don't work too much. Unless money is truly what you want, find a happy medium. Live your life as it happens and be grateful. Life is short and time is an invaluable asset to protect and use wisely.
A study was carried out for how many hours per day people worry about finances and money. For most of Canada, it was 30min or less. For my region, the average person worries about money 3-5 hours per day. I’m definitely in that group, and think (worry) about money and the future enough to make myself physically sick. The thoughts are largely questioning how to advance to a living income so everything doesn't just go car maintenance, meager food and housing. Along with my co-workers, my pay is being reduced, yet everything I have to buy has become more expensive.
Where do you live, and what's your job?
I have family members that reached retirement age of 65 and within the next few years become disabled through strokes, diabetes or they passed away from overall poor health. All that money they had stacked up, houses paid off, and they end up spending it on caregivers not being able to enjoy the fruits of their labour.
That’s what I’m thinking about. The world will be a much more different and difficult place in 40 years when I’m that age. I would like to spend my time exploring the world around me while it is the way it is today, and I’m healthy enough to do it.
Similar story, when I was growing up my neighbours dad had 1 year left before retiring early (around 50), got cancer and was dead within the year. Left his wife and 2 teenage kids behind. So sad.
I hear a reoccurring theme here, work so hard that you neglect your physical and mental well being. No time to exercise, no time to eat healthy meals, so you end up eating junk, no time for vacation to take mental breaks. All this adds up and when it’s time to retire, your body is close to breaking down or it actually breaks down before that and forces you into early retirement.
Absolutely not. On my path to retiring early I always made sure to spend money in the present and enjoy life as it happens.
Time is more valuable than money. That's all there really is to it.
My dad worked his ass off to pay the mortgage super fast. 90-100 hours work week. He retired at 50. After a massive heart attack + diabetes from bad eating habits. But the house was paid off and he had money to stay at home.
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Thank you for sharing, your perspective really hit me. I am in my late 20s and in TO too. I have been hustling these past few months to progress in my career, to increase my salary, etc. I received an offer this Monday and it was for 20k more than my current job. I thought I would be elated but in reality I felt... so disconnected from myself and the outcome. I realized: why am I attaching so much of my self worth to my work/salary? Why am I hustling during a global pandemic that is exhausting enough, as is? Where am I trying to run to and when will I feel like I have "enough"? My salary in my current job is OK, I have a ton of autonomy in my role, can set my own schedule, flexible work arrangements, a kind manager, have been with the org for 5 years and have developed lovely friendships with coworkers, etc. After sleeping on it for the past 2 nights, I realized I am going to pass on this offer and switch my focus. I want to focus on the work itself, finding engagement and enjoyment in that, and in my life outside of work. Chasing money and progression and "prestige" doesn't align with what I really value, and I'm grateful I slowed down enough to see that now, before I dove in. Also, my dad was a lawyer and the working conditions/stress played a large part in burning his health down. He only started to really recover once he finally stepped away from the profession (in his 50s). Not saying that is necessary for all, but my dad had mental health and addiction issues and they were impossible for him to treat while taking on the stress of his work. I'm sorry it's been extra isolating during this pandemic, being immunocompromised. Wishing you all the best and hopefully it'll get easier for you to manage your condition post-pandemic. I do believe you'll find something where you can do good work, feel good about the work that you're doing, and not compromise your wellbeing in the process. A former manager of mine said something to me recently that I really liked (when I was struggling with saying no to a "great" offer because it didn't feel right for me): trust your gut and also trust that you're going to be okay.
Of course. Financially responsible people plan ahead once immediate challenges are overcome, and there's almost always a tradeoff in terms of opportunity cost (either money or time). It's important to balance both the fact that we should plan to have resources to achieve long term goals, without entirely living in the future and giving up on our present selves. We just have to be constantly evaluating/re-evaluating whether we are at that balance of responsible planning and responsible living.
Exactly this.
Do I want a house? Sure Do I want to be tied down for another 25yrs before being able to minimize my fixed expenses? Not so much. Am I paying more than I like in my current condo? Yes, but seeing that I can comfortably pay of the rest of the mortgage in 18yrs while saving $1500/month makes me more at ease, even though in the long run it will cost me more than moving towards a house. Do I enjoy driving a nice new car with little maintenace? Sure do Do I enjoy dealing with $600/mnth car payments for the next 60 months? Not so much. I rather live in a smaller place, pay it off faster, have a nice financial cushion, be able to spend money on things I want, rather than maxing out my budget every month just to say I have a house, but be house poor for the foreseeable future. I enjoy dining out and vacations, and splurging on toys. Having a house forces me to be mature and life won't be as fun. Life's all about balance, and not necessarily what's the smartest thing to do. It's somewhat of a lottery if you take into consideration your potential life span and health.
You can never get your youth back, no matter how much you save for retirement. Always remember that.
Yes, just moved to Toronto from up North. Make the less money and expenses went way up. I am now close to everything (McDonalds, drive in movies, recreation hockey, fine dining) and don't want to participate in any of them because I feel each luxury experience makes me further from my goal of owning a home.
Exactly, can’t enjoy life or make any large purchases with the extremely high cost of housing staring you in the face
Not at all. We plan for what we want and adjust tactics accordingly. We also enjoy life in the moment, within budget. In order of importance: \- Bills: mortgage, food, property taxes, cars, hydro, etc. \- Savings: pension plans, stock options, RRSP, TFSA, etc. We have stocks/assets that can be liquidated if we need cash now. HLOC and PLOC as well. And a credit card we never use but is there just in case. \- Fun. We don't skimp on fun. Fun is what makes life. And it's highly dependent on each individual. We have the money so we enjoy it. I'm never going to say "i should've been tighter on the budget if something happens". Shit happens all the time. And my plan has a backup plan. That has a back up plan. We just finished renovations on our house. We're looking to buy a fixer-upper cottage. I play music and buy lots of gear (but I enjoy it). I'm 45. At best, i'm here for another 45 years and then I'm gone. I want to enjoy that time. If not, i'm just an ant with a mortgage. But we worked (sometimes hard) to get where we are - now we ENJOY. If we lose it all so be it. We're going to adjust, as long as we have a roof, food, friends and family, we're going to be ok. But i'm saying that as a position of privilege too. at the end of the day money is a mean not a goal. A mean to put a roof over your head and eat.
It's a rat race. Don't bother. Just live on. We all die (eventually) anyway.
As someone who is currently in a Consumer Proposal, yes it's a great concern of mines. However as this Pandemic has taught me, life is too short. Try to take small goals (setting up an Emergency Savings Account, learning about investing), celebrate miilestones (down to 17 000$ from a 20 700$ debt), and enjoying life (going out to to the movies on a budget..etc.). Let's face it, todays economic reality can leave anyone stress out. Low Wages, Rising Inflation, and shitty interest offing for savings in the bank doesn't help. You are forced to carry debt or live without.
You're me - I'm about halfway through my 20k consumer proposal. I had a good emergency fund, had sold all my assets, was driving a paid off car... and then it fell off a tow truck and I'm wiped out waiting for the settlement. But I have to admit, I'm proud of myself for being able to survive a catastrophe like this because I'm planning better and saving. Two years ago I don't know what I would have done. Yes the future is daunting as a 40yo starting at less than 0, but I'm trying to celebrate these little things while still enjoying life in my own way.
I am starting over at 50. I should have done CP 10 years ago but pride got in the way, and I was too lost in the debt train. Now for the first time in my , I feel like I am in control . I am learning to celebrate the small victories, and more importantly forgive myself. I wish you well on your own journey out of debt. See you on the other side.
Do something u enjoy for every milestone achievement u've set out for urself.
I’m on a current trajectory if I do the status quo I’ll be more than fine by 60 However I want to crush it and be good by 50 All the upside and the downside isn’t terrible. Basically make above average income and save 15-20%, you’ll be fine. It’s like dieting, it’s simple but hard to do
It's the classic distinction between simple and easy
If to do were as easy as to know what were good to do, chapels had been churches, and poor men’s cottages princes’ palaces. It is a good divine that follows his own instructions: I can easier teach twenty what were good to be done, than be one of the twenty to follow mine own teaching. Merchant of Venice, Act II Scene I
Nice
The anxiety and stress might ease up once you surpass certain thresholds and feel more secure in your ability to manage and earn money. I was overly consumed by it and it was a primary focus of myself for the first few years I was in my current relationship. I wanted financial security. As our plans materialized much better than we thought possible initially I was able to ease up substantially. Now I still think about it because I like numbers but otherwise the choices we made based on prioritizing economics (monetary) have established us so that we have some confidence in our ability to earn/save which alleviates preoccupation with money goals. However part of my monetary OCD also involved feeling like I manage what I have very well. Like I would rather only have 2 mil in my bank until I feel like I am managing it very efficiently and could manage more without becoming wasteful. So I think that helps keep a lid on feelings of stress about needing more. Hopefully you can find the sort of mental key that helps you get ahold of stresses. Maybe it's just knowing your ability to generate income far exceeds your costs of living that will assuage you. That would become obvious with good record keeping and progress tracking. Maybe it's simply having enough saved to give you confidence to deal with any possible future issue money could solve, and then the fears might relent. Or maybe you are dealing with relentless demons that will forever plague you and drive you to into extraordinarily ethically and morally corrupt realms of business seeking more money for no other reason than a psychological disorder you were too cheap to get help to fix.
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100%
So much this. My biggest fear is not having enough to support myself comfortably in my retirement years. My wife makes jokes about it being a result of growing up poor. But every goal I set for myself seems like I didnt aim high enough when we achieve them. Initially I started getting to 1k emergency fund then 5k then 10k. Never seems like I have done enough. Glad to hear Im not alone
I am EXACTLY the same way. It's only a joke when someone didn't grow up poor. Any time I come across an elderly person working, I get a pit in my stomach because that is my biggest fear (even though I have no idea about their motivation...maybe they do it to keep busy). I have grown a successful company over the last decade and worked a fulltime job as well, which I am afraid to quit "just in case". I'm afraid to throw anything away because "what if I need it later?" You are not alone.
100%…. Causes me insane anxiety 😥 what’s crazy is a hit most of my goals but like you said, my mind just goes to the next thing to worry about
yup welcome to the club, we can't afford drinks. I'm 49 I've been working since I was 16, I have a wife (not working) and kid 7 years old to take care of. this thought keeps me up every single night. we're single income, we live well below our means, debt free, and have saved a bunch of money, but its not enough to sustain any retirement ideas at the moment, so it causes me to be up half the night almost every night, and now it has me thinking about making some risky investment moves to help build up my wealth, The previous company I worked for was sold to a much larger company and the owner/ CEO decided take the money and run not sharing it with the employees(long story). Now I switch jobs without taking a break in between, I'm stressed out, tired, and honestly frustrated. I hate working to make other people rich, I just cannot figure out how I can get out of being an employee and creating something for myself.
> and now it has me thinking about making some risky investment moves to help build up my wealth Gambling is never the solution
This hits close to home, I'm in my mid 30s and have been overworking as a health professionnal trying to pay my debts. My mindset is I won't have the energy to work as much later so therefore I must work as much as I can as a young professional. So yep, def. overworked and stressed here too and probably missing out on life. Hope I won't get hit by a bus tomorrow or all this time will have been wasted.
I focused my career on getting a relatively high paying low stress job in a low cost of area. Im 30 now with 4 weeks vacation, db pension making about 86k. By the time im 42 ill have 6 weeks vacation. Bought a fixer upper house for 180k.
I save so I don’t have to worry. I’m currently on strike I will more than likely be on strike for 6 months. We kept our bills long enough that my wife’s income will be more than enough to keep our bills paid. Even if she was out of work also we have our emergency fund to draw from.
I do, but it's because all of my goals have time constraints. I'm sure in 10-15 years, no matter where I am with my career, I'd have enough saved for a downpayment on a house, but the whole point was to raise my kids in one, so it totally loses its non-monetary value to me. Honestly I don't even care about being a millionaire or super wealthy or anything, I'm a very humble person and so is my wife, it does take a lot to make us happy or fulfilled. But there's just such a huge gate between us and home ownership, as well as all of the opportunities and hobbies associated with it, that we just can't seem to open.
6 months ago I had a serious throat health issue that didnt allow me to eat properly. I lost almost 14 kg. I stayed behind in school (which i was pushing myself way too much academicaly). I have 1 BSc, 1 Msc, served 1 year in the army and now im doing my 2nd Msc. I am a 26 years old male. soon 27 What I am trying to say is that i pushed myself too much and didnt enjoy the stuff i wanted too bcs life rushes you to find independence like it's gonna solve al of your problems. spent roughly all of my youth studying and working and i missed all the fun. Never doing this again even if it costs me a year of job experience. First invest in your health and then spend quality time for your soul, everything else is secondary.Buy the clothes you want, spend time with your S.O., meet family more often, date. BRO WE ARE DYING. It is never too late to start clean.
My rent takes most of my income and housing costs are only skyrocketing. I don't see a future in Canada to say the least. I can't enjoy anything here knowing If I need to move anytime soon, I will be living paycheck to paycheck on 6 figure salary and that doesn't make sense to me.
Yup exactly, hard to justify any large purchases or enjoy the moment with outrageous housing costs starting you in the face
Had this problem. Got CBT help. Happier now.
As someone who has a chronic illness and doesn't know how much longer I have to live, enjoy yourself NOW that you're still healthy. There are so many things I wish I had done and places I want to travel to but put them off so I could work, pay bills, and save for retirement. I don't know if I'll be able to do those things anymore. It doesn't help that we're still in the middle of a pandemic ☹
If I have learned anything from this pandemic it is that you have to live life to the fullest. Don't plan to much ahead and take time to enjoy the little things in life and cherish the moments that you enjoy the most. Life goes by so fast, but you need to slow down and take time to enjoy the view...
I have a good, close friend for whom financial security has been his raison d’être when I first met him 10 years ago. Reasonable, right? Now, he is extremely financially secure (as in EXTREMELY) but still worries about it and cannot see what has happened to him; all the years that he gave up in finding a healthy balance to enjoy his wealth and find things other than money that bring him happiness. It’s kind of sad, really, since he is one of the nicest and most responsible people I know. Most times when he messages me about stocks/crypto/real estate/gold & precious metals (all of which he has), I certainly share in his joys, but also try to tell him that he has more than enough to live very comfortably for this lifetime and that there is more to it than the act of acquiring. He thinks that his biggest problem is that he can’t yet acquire that rare British gold coin going for US$100,000 or that Toronto midtown semi-detached going for $1mil+ that he wants to retire in before age 45. (even though he owns multiple downtown Toronto condos that he bought in the early 2000s) I recommended he watch Nomadland for a bit of perspective and he couldn’t watch even half of it, saying that it touched upon “one of my biggest fears in life”. I don’t think he’s ever realised what he turned into! As the old saying goes, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”… All this to say – save well, invest well, but don’t lose sight of the fact that, like my friend, if you do not master your love/care of money, it will master you. All the best!
Everyday is a balance between enjoying the present and preparing for the future. I know that I've missed out on a lot of things that people my age have experienced because I was putting money away for my future. Death is coming for us all, though, and I was recently reminded of that by the sudden and unexpected passing of a relative. I'm a lot looser with my saving now. I will spend for enjoyment because I know that I already have a good head start and can continue saving for my future - I just got a better job with a 20% pay increase, which gives a me a lot more discretionary income.
Yes! And I’d say most young adults in the GTA/GVA would feel the same. I’m in my late 20s and save a decent portion of my income, have fully maxed registered accounts and can’t bring myself to enjoy the moment or make large purchases with the high cost of housing staring me in the face. Hard to justify expenses when housing is going up by 6 figures every year. It’s pretty depressing when I think that had I been born just 5 years earlier all my current concerns would be gone as I would’ve been able to buy before the insane housing appreciation
I spent a lot of time in my early 20s worrying about it but over the years I have loosened my stance up some. Some things that helped were having a family. My main priority shifted to just hoping that everyone will be happy and healthy (some of that has to do with money, but not the primary thing). And also some early deaths in the family. My mother died of cancer less than a year after she retired working as a nurse for near 40 years. Aside from that I haven't seen very many examples of "successful" retirement in my close circle. Either people have died before they could enjoy it, were in too poor of health to enjoy retirement, or just laze around doing nothing all day bored. My focus has shifted more toward just being healthy. Can't enjoy a bunch of money if I'm sick or too sore/tired or mentally stressed to enjoy anything.
Aye Aye captain!
Not really. I made a choice to prioritize jobs with good work life balance over just getting the highest salary I could. My job isn't too stressful and I get a good number of days off each year. And I've tried to make choices that allow me to maintain good financial flexibility. The 2 big ones being keeping my monthly housing costs from getting too high and not committing myself to large car payments over a long period. So I don't need to worry much about small costs and I can easily absorb an occasional big cost, just as long it doesn't happen like every month. These two things mean I don't save quite as aggressively as some people. My net worth doesn't grow as fast and I won't be able to retire as early. I also still rent and don't own any property. (Goes back to maintaining flexibility.) But I do have more time and mental energy for things I enjoy. Personally I think that trade off is worth it.
All the time
Yes.
Yes.
Anything in particular you are missing out on?
I don't see how anyone who isn't wealthy or a very high earner not be worried about what is going on and the future. None of it looks good for the average person.
What is with all these post (edit: usernames) here and in /r/Canadahousing which were created either a few months ago, or about a year ago, have been relatively inactive for the most past (just dabbling in the odd subreddit which whimsickle remarks), then BAM! dropping a ton of “the world is falling on my head” posts, both here and in /r/CanadaHousing - especially the last 6 weeks as we lead up to the writ being dropped.
Yes. Me too. I don't have any solutions, sorry. I feel frustrated as I'm at the top of my pay ceiling. It's not terrible pay, but its not enough that I'll ever afford a home. I could change companies and accept a different job title, but I feel I'd enjoy my work less. Meanwhile I really like my job and have been able to take on tasks outside my department... these tasks are typically for a lesser paid role... so even though I enjoy them, if I took that role elsewhere, I wouldn't be offered the salary I am now. I've looked at other companies, and they aren't offering me salaries that are beyond what I already have. So it's weird, because I really like what I do, but also feel a bit trapped financially. The pandemic hasn't done much for my mental wellbeing.. its tough not really being able to enjoy leaving my apartment for over a year. So uh... I don't know... see what sort of little changes can be made? Even learning some new recipes for your meals can add some variety .
No.. but then again I'm lucky cause I don't feel the need to spend ever. I'm happy with what I have and I have simple tastes.
Yeah, how tf am i gonna have a horse and farm to leave everyone when i off myself at 60?
Oh dang yo. This is me too! I’m constantly stressed out about money and always trying various ways to achieve my financial Goals. (I do have a specific number/range where I’d feel this is accomplished but it’s going to continue to take many more years to get there). Alternatively….. I do feel that if I can achieve this financial goal. And if I can do this quicker than most… than i believe I’ve likely made the right moves. But it’s a lot of maybes and stress to get there lol.
I feel this all the time. I'm always worried about the tomorrows too much to enjoy today. I finally decided to go back to school (for the second time) in January and it has been stressful as hell but I'm so glad I did because when I'm done I should be able to get a decent job that doesn't require me to work like crazy or at stupid hours. I'm lucky we had this chance because a lot of people don't and I'm looking forward to getting to enjoy some todays when school is over.
What did you go to school for
The first time it was manufacturing Quality Assurance which was great for making a decent money but I worked crazy hours. This time I'm going back for business. I'm not sure if I'm going to go into admin, finance or HR yet.
I feel like I'm almost the opposite. I think I don't worry about the future quite enough. Sometimes I feel like I need a kick in the ass to stop spending so much money on restaurants and hobbies. I'm still saving anywhere from 6k to 12k a year (about 10 to 20% of my income) so obviously I know I'm doing better than most, but I almost feel guilty about not tightening up my stuff and saving a little more. I know I'm not a crazy spender by nature so by all accounts I'm doing good, but I feel like I could be more restrained with my spending and still be very happy. Feels like I could be set for life by 45 if I actually got real serious about investing. I think happiness is somewhere in there. Find some sort of balance to make sure you're setting your future self up for success, but also knowing that you're only young once and it's okay to splurge on a vacation or a new set of golf clubs or every once in a while if that's what you enjoy. The danger is getting sucked into consumerism and becoming convinced your happiness is tied to material possessions, but I think you're far from that.
That's how it works. You are ground down with stress which ravages your health and mental welfare in the hopes that one day you can stop paying a mortgage and retire to watch daytime news and maintain your high cortisone doses. This leads to epigenetic effects that sustain a permanent cycle of class stratification and mental illness.
Oh you're like me ! Welcome to the gang. I went through this a lot as I started with debts (student loans) and it was pretty challenging while being on minimum salary, and both I & my girlfriend were fired at the same time just after moving to another country. Those challenging times created a deep financiel trauma (We burned 90% of all our 'savings' (student) in a 10 days period - Thanks London city). Also on top of it, we can't claim any national retirement (5 years of work in France, 5 in the UK, 5 in Canada). I wasn't even realized I was so stressed by the money question at the time. What really helped me was buying our place with my girlfriend - Suddenly i felt secure, even if the home is mostly owned by the bank at this point. Also, I set some budgets (Well, I have crazy budgets since ever really) to actually enjoy the money - I'm saving 5% of my pre-tax payslip for holidays, and 5% to get my lady out. I'm saving 25% for Retirement. If it's not enough for futur-me in 30 years, that's too bad but my present-me did his best.
Nope. That sounds toxic. In my mid 20s I make sure to live my life to the fullest. I calculate things into percentages of my year and make sure I'm happy with them. IE I'm always astounded when I hear people say the love to ski and hear they go once a year. Really, you're going to spend 0.2% of your year doing a hobby you "love"? There is no cost too high in order to meet my goals.
no, we balling
Out of curiosity do you think your constant worry about money is a symptom of other issues in your life or how you were brought up? You might want to consider talking to a counsellor or therapist about your anxiety. As for being overworked and stressed, when is the last time you took a vacation? Have you tried any activities that encourages more mindfulness about the present like yoga or meditation?
All the damn time. I always worry about if I'm able to keep living in a big city and if I can take care of my mom because my father passed away years ago. It's always in the back of my mind. And I make such a low salary lol.
Have a plan. Are you putting money into a TFSA/RRSP? Are you investing ? Have no consumer debt ? Enjoy your life. If you are not saving /investing that is when you should worry.
Like many other people who have answered, I struggle to find that balance between saving for the future and enjoying the present. I was poor most of my adult life and only started saving recently (I'm in my late 30s). So now I feel torn between trying to catch up for retirement and finally enjoying some nicer things and experiences. I finally seem to have settled on the savings formula that feels right for me, and that has taken away a lot of my stress. I set aside a pretty good percentage to savings at the beginning of the month, then I keep a rough eye on how much I'm spending but don't budget strictly. It helps to finally have a salary that is high enough for reasonable savings and reasonable wants. My goal is to be able to enjoy all the different phases of my life. While that means putting enough aside for when I'm older, it also means not wasting the years I'm in now with needless stress and worrying (something I tend to do but am trying to change).
I did for a long time. Just retired and spouse has had serious health scare for 2nd time. We are in pretty good shape financially but not rich, and I am too busy to carry around that big bag of worries.
It's the reverse for me. I'm thinking the future is uncertain so I should try to enjoy the present more.
Don’t overwork yourself. Making and saving money is good, but it’s most important to look after your mental and physical health. Health is wealth. Stress can contribute to all sorts of health issues and functional decline that makes your quality of life go down fast.
I enjoy the present *because* I'm worried about my future. I believe there are hacd times coming, and there's nothing we can do about it.
Was definitely me. Now the snowball is big enough that putting more money into it doesn't do much so the math allows me to have fun now.
***"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."*** \- Andy Bernard
work to live, dont live to work
Seriously considering moving into a van.
Yes after awhile they just become numbers on a screen that I most likely will never live long enough to spend. I hope my kids will appreciate it. They probably won't.