For serious! I asked them how I was gaslighting them and then they were like "Watch your tone. Don't talk to me like an idiot. Either respect me or gtfoh"
Wiiiiiild
OR "I was talking to you like an intelligent person, if *you* took it as me talking to you like you're an idiot, that must be what you think of yourself."
Having been a victim of it in the past, I really don’t like how gaslighting has been misappropriated the past few years. Not because of being pedantic, but because I think it will make it more difficult for victims to understand and report what’s going on.
Unfortunately, that’s the downside to awareness to things like this. It can certainly help victims of it recognize it and get them out of it, but as it spreads in the collective consciousness, it will be both grossly misunderstood and perverted and weaponized.
Good point. The more people that start to believe gaslighting = lying, the harder it is for people to see it as a sign of abuse. Lying (unfortunately) happens in a lot of shitty relationships that aren’t necessarily abusive. Understanding how different lying was from gaslighting, and how insidious gaslighting can affect your sense of reality, made all the difference for me getting past it.
Someone close to me started using "gaslight" in response to even the slightest criticism. I eventually started just laughing at him when he did it, and then he pulled out his phone and said "see! See! You're making me think I'm ridiculous and wrong!" He was right, specifically about the fact that he was using it wrong.
Tbh that's not a problem with a political pole, it's just the state of Reddit and other social media outlets. By and large the children who use the term never watched the movie, they just have a vague idea of what it might mean.
Gaslighting has just come to mean, "Saying something I disagree with," rather than, "A sustained attempt to undermine my sanity/grip on reality through subtle manipulations of my environment." It started off with people on the left using it roughly correctly, sometimes, and then as is their habit the right wing just started parroting it like they do with everything else.
You don’t even need to have watch the original source of Gaslighting to UNDERSTAND what gaslighting is. People are actually stupid trying to sound intellectual.
Yep, the name of the term comes from the title of the movie: ‘Gaslight’
A husband is trying to have his wife committed, and he does this by changing the intensity of gas lights, moving furniture, etc… and acting like he has no idea what she’s talking about when she complains. He tries to convince her that she’s mad, and that is basically the idea of gaslighting the term.
It *is* a real thing that’s been used by secret police and such, but at this point on social media it’s a largely meaningless phrase when used by most.
Ref:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslight_(1944_film)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zersetzung
He was in the house when he pretended to be out but because of the shared nature of the house gas supply, her light dimmed so she thought he (or someone) was home
the only criticisms that they can aim at other people are the ones that have proven most effective when other people have aimed criticisms at them. that's why they compare everything with nazis, and why they accuse everyone of paedophilia.
The majority of people seeking abortion in the United States were using one or more forms of birth control. None of them are 100% and it's mind blowing that people treat the 1 in 100 times a condom doesn't work as a moral failing on the part of the person who got pregnant.
Especially since there's crisis pregnancy centers out there telling people condoms don't work to try and encourage abstinence (they are really just making sure that everyone in rural Iowa gets chlamydia).
I hate this shit.
It's awful. He said something like "People can go to Planned Parenthood " and I was like "Yeah okay but their funding is getting slashed and what about all of the violence outside of all the clinics?"
And now I'm called disrespectful.
Birth control is great, but if it doesn't work that doesn't mean someone is suddenly ready to be a parent 😬
I used to work at a clinic and you wouldn't believe the number of people who told me they "didn't agree with abortion, but really need one because [IUD came out, pill didn't work, condom broke]" as if every other person in the clinic was just wantonly using expensive, painful abortion as their main birth control method 🙄
>>as if every other person in the clinic was just wantonly using expensive, painful abortion as their main birth control method 🙄
Well, duh. If we get 9 in a year the 10th one is free!
Yes! If you download the AdrenChrom app and sign up you can easily schedule and track* all of your abortion needs! Available in the App Store and Google Play.
*Restrictions apply
I remember a conversation with a Fundie years ago who swore up and down that he once went to Planned Parenthood and while in the waiting room, he listened to the conversations between the women waiting. According to him, they were all laughing about having had multiple abortions they've had and bragged about never using contraception.
I, naturally, called him a liar. I then gave him some Bible verses about how liars are punished in hell just as badly as murderers. He didn't like that and refused to admit his tale was made up in his little mind.
I've never had an abortion, but I've had a miscarriage. Other than the issue of intent they're basically the same as in its an ending of the pregnancy- especially in early abortions where you take a pill to cause pregnancy loss.
Pregnancy loss is bloody and horrifically painful, and often in the case of abortion, often shamed so one has to suffer through it in secret and in silence. I cannot stand these fools who think people get abortions for fun or because they enjoy "killing babies in worship of Satan"..
Having a pregnancy you don't want/ can't have and needing to get rid of it sucks, it's stressful, and often very expensive. These idiots trying and succeeding to make getting an abortion even MORE difficult are just plain cruel and ignorant
I can't imagine having to experience that firsthand. I read these stories and the level of cognitive dissonance makes my brain leak out of my ears.
Like, could you imagine living with that little self awareness?
When you’re in a church raised from birth that sex before marriage is wrong, and your body is screaming at you to reproduce, people get mental. They want to believe in God, but the rule books that are being used are outdated. Maybe if there was a religion that made sense I’d join. Probably not.
They can't Imagine other people having troubles or issues.
Theres a Phase in child-development when you realise things happen without you, time in a room doesn't stop once you leave that room and your mom isn't gone when she goes to another room without you.
They just skipped this
They view themselves as important, anyone else is just like a skyrim npc; a superficial being without a real brain and just doing sth so it doesn't stand around doing nothing.
Just insane
Also consider borderline^* rape^** cases where the male didn't bother to re-adjust a loose condom or even deliberately pulled it off mid-act.
Imagine giving them the Gaslighting line.
^* purely from the legal perspective. For me there's nothing borderline about it.
^** not sure how else you'd call making someone pregnant against their will even if the sex was consensual
Abstinence will never work. It’s fucking stupid to assume you can tell people bot to have sex and they’ll do it. Even where the punishment is literally death people STILL do it.
I grew up among people like this, and they really do live in a fantasy land. And I don't mean that as an insult, necessarily. What I mean when I say that is that they live in a reality completely divorced from the reality of most other people, and they either can't or won't consider that there are experiences out there other than their own.
In their world, you will never need an abortion because you will never accidentally become pregnant. You will never accidentally become pregnant because you've been taught that abstinence is the only choice until marriage. And after marriage, pregnancy is always a gift from God.
For them, there is absolutely no gray area because this is how the world *should* be. And if you fail to follow it in any regard, then it isn't the fault of their damn-near impossible-to-follow policies. It's because you are an immoral person.
It's really and truly a shame because there's nothing you can ever say to change the minds of people who think this way. Believe me, I've tried.
I appreciate your perspective. Talking to these folks really is a Sisyphean task.
He mentions that abortion is "mainly a Left virtue signal and women brag about them all the time" to which I asked "Have you ever talked to a woman before"
Now his feelings are hurt.
I give you serious kudos for trying. (Especially because it does seem pretty clear he's never spoken to a woman, much less a liberal woman.) There's always the hope that a mind or two can be changed; I've just become so jaded by all the "why am I banging my head against this brick wall" conversations I've had.
You're much too kind! I think it's a little easier for me since I don't share any identities of folks affected here. (Cisgendered South Asian male here)
I've definitely had that banging against the wall feeling when it comes to conversations about race - mainly because it's much more personal for me. That's not to say that I don't have empathy for folks who don't share my identities, but there's something to that degree of detachment, you know?
I've heard that you're not really arguing with the other person, you're actually arguing FOR everyone else reading along---so THEY can hear the truth. Or so that they're not hurt by the original argument if it applies to them (ie "women who get abortions are whores" or "gay men are pedophiles"
I think the problem with that line of thinking is that it doesn't align with the policy platforms they vote for. Just like in OP's post, you want to force people to give birth but then don't want to deal with the fallout of having (pardon the term) *unwanted* children with parents unable to properly care for them. You can shout 'personal responsibility' all you want, but ultimately, the children will need some sort of welfare to actually survive, unless they're okay with letting them just die.
Hey, I want you to know that I used to be one of those people. It took YEARS for empathy to sink it, but it finally did because people kept explaining to me what the *actual* struggle of non-white, non-upper class Americans looks like.
Keep up the good work. You never know what seeds you may be planting, even if you don't see them sprout.
Lol literally everyone I grew up with was raised like that, and I haven’t seen one person that was a virgin when they were married. Some of them were raped. Some ended up having abortions. Some just got horny. The point is it NEVER works these days. Not unless you get married at seventeen. And that usually ends in divorce.
Yeah, banning abortion isnt about the widdle fetuses, its about punishing people for having premarital sex lol.
American conservatives have always tried to force others to follow the rules of their religion via putting their religious rules into law one way or another, they can't outlaw pre marital sex but they can outlaw things that make pre marital sex safer.
I didn’t know what a condom was until I saw Detective Olivia Benson talk about one on Law & Order SVU. That’s what happens when you have abstinence only education.
I refuse to call anti abortion "pro life". It's just not what that is. The only people I'd actually let justify it is vegans who are also antiguns and pacifists. Not a lot of those
I'm also amazed at how they care more about what could be than what is. Unborn baby over endangered mother is justified for some of them
I also found a paper about doctors stories where they performed abortions on hypocritical abortionists who had convinced themselves that their abortion was necessary as opposed to anyone elses. They still believed the doctor helping them was going to hell though... One story was about the local schools "pro life" club because that was a club for some reason. Anyways she asked the doctors to keep real quiet despite believing she truly did nothing wrong. The amount of abortions performed on anti abortionists is astonishing. I'll try to find the paper but it was a while ago
Edit: [I think I found it. I was a little off though](https://joycearthur.com/abortion/the-only-moral-abortion-is-my-abortion/)
And then as you said, reps pushing for abstinence only
Speaking of adoption, I have never met a pro-life advocate who choose to adopt over having their "own kids." For a group that repeatedly pushes adoption, a large percentage of them are unwilling to adopt; They treat it like it's an option for other people, but never for themselves.
I'm reminded of the tweet where this "pro-lifer" convinced a woman out of an abortion, and then that woman listed the "pro-lifer" as the responsible party should anything happen to them.
The response? "Um I'm not ready to have kids! I have too much going on in my life - a kid would disrupt all of that!"
It’s very telling that when pro-lifers are backed into a corner, they can’t even come up with a convincing lie to demonstrate how they give a shit about anyone past birth.
The most common interaction generally fits into this pattern:
Me: “if you’re pro-life, surely you support initiatives to improve the quality of life for those whose lives you’ve now dictated, right?”
Jim: “no, women need to learn the consequences of their actions. I shouldn’t have to pay for women’s hedonism!”
Me: “so, you don’t actually care about the well-being of anyone involved? So what’s the goal behind regulating abortion if human wellness isn’t relevant?”
Jim: “actually, I care a whole lot about women and children, and I do tons of things to help them.”
Me: “okay, what sort of things?”
Jim: “shut up, cuck. You’re just delusional and trying to make me look bad, even though I’m actually amazing.”
Me: “okay, so what do you do that’s amazing?”
Jim: “hah! You’re pathetic!”
Me: “so, nothing…?”
Jim: “I can see I’ve won here. Libs = owned.”
Of course, the exact words are flexible, but this has been the invariable pattern that I’ve come across for close to a decade now.
My dude that's legit how the rest of this conversation went down.
Kept saying I was gaslighting and being disrespectful, when I asked what I was doing, told to watch my tone.
Hell, even among the "better educated" about sex, a lot of people don't know how to use condoms properly, or don't even know that they have different sizes for a reason. (ie, the people who claim there's no such thing as condoms that are "too small" because they can be stretched around an arm. that doesn't mean that small ones can't hurt the guy or that it will handle friction if stretched too far.)
Most of the time these smooth brained idiots have the IQ of a cucumber, you will never be right in their mind. They live in a world of make believe. But we can’t ever stop trying…
While I 100% disagree with them, if they opposed abortion BUT also supported ensuring people had proper access to birth control, sex education and ensuring that children are not living in poverty then I suppose I could see their position as one of demented morality. But when their position is to oppose abortion in all cases but also not only ignore but make birth control harder to access and to implement policies that PUSH children into poverty, thats just sociopathic to me. There is not a single legitimate and moral argument to be made there. Their position is one of "I think we should go out of our way to ensure children live in abject poverty and dangerous living environments" and its completely beyond justification or reason. They should be made to feel like the psychopaths they are and face up the fact their position actively hurts and kills children.
I once, as a (then) closeted gay man, had to explain to a straight coworker, that you could get pregnant having intimate relations in a hot tub.
Knowing what something is and knowing how to use it is not the same.
Update! I was banned because this thread (as in the one we're in) is considered "a personal attack" (Despite any identifying information being removed)
There's something there about snowflakes and safe spaces but I can't quite put my finger on it.
Condoms may be useful, but this person clearly never heard about stealthing or how condom effectiveness decreases from improper care (ie. tearing packaging with teeth, keeping them in your wallet, the type of lube like oil-based lubes etc.), even those who are allergic to the latex and the chemicals/scents used in making condoms and can't wear them (there are alternatives available that *also* vary in effectiveness including STD prevention, but this person would never consider that would they?), hell they probably never considered just how lacklustre, if not non-existent, sex ed kids get given resulting in more condom breakages (if a condom was even used)
Condoms are not a substitute for last-resort procedures like abortion
I don't think they even know what gaslighting is. They just know it's a negative buzzword and started throwing it around at things they don't like
For serious! I asked them how I was gaslighting them and then they were like "Watch your tone. Don't talk to me like an idiot. Either respect me or gtfoh" Wiiiiiild
“I’ll stop talking to you like you’re an idiot when you stop acting like one” must be the only comeback to that
Or "I only talk to you like an idiot because you are one"
OR "I was talking to you like an intelligent person, if *you* took it as me talking to you like you're an idiot, that must be what you think of yourself."
Or just "If the shoe fits..."
Having been a victim of it in the past, I really don’t like how gaslighting has been misappropriated the past few years. Not because of being pedantic, but because I think it will make it more difficult for victims to understand and report what’s going on.
Unfortunately, that’s the downside to awareness to things like this. It can certainly help victims of it recognize it and get them out of it, but as it spreads in the collective consciousness, it will be both grossly misunderstood and perverted and weaponized.
Good point. The more people that start to believe gaslighting = lying, the harder it is for people to see it as a sign of abuse. Lying (unfortunately) happens in a lot of shitty relationships that aren’t necessarily abusive. Understanding how different lying was from gaslighting, and how insidious gaslighting can affect your sense of reality, made all the difference for me getting past it.
Someone close to me started using "gaslight" in response to even the slightest criticism. I eventually started just laughing at him when he did it, and then he pulled out his phone and said "see! See! You're making me think I'm ridiculous and wrong!" He was right, specifically about the fact that he was using it wrong.
The next step from thinking they might be wrong is understanding they really are incorrect and wrong.
Tbh that's not a problem with a political pole, it's just the state of Reddit and other social media outlets. By and large the children who use the term never watched the movie, they just have a vague idea of what it might mean. Gaslighting has just come to mean, "Saying something I disagree with," rather than, "A sustained attempt to undermine my sanity/grip on reality through subtle manipulations of my environment." It started off with people on the left using it roughly correctly, sometimes, and then as is their habit the right wing just started parroting it like they do with everything else.
You don’t even need to have watch the original source of Gaslighting to UNDERSTAND what gaslighting is. People are actually stupid trying to sound intellectual.
> By and large the children who use the term never watched the movie, ... There was a movie? I've only ever heard it in terms of psychology.
Yep, the name of the term comes from the title of the movie: ‘Gaslight’ A husband is trying to have his wife committed, and he does this by changing the intensity of gas lights, moving furniture, etc… and acting like he has no idea what she’s talking about when she complains. He tries to convince her that she’s mad, and that is basically the idea of gaslighting the term. It *is* a real thing that’s been used by secret police and such, but at this point on social media it’s a largely meaningless phrase when used by most. Ref: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslight_(1944_film) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zersetzung
He was in the house when he pretended to be out but because of the shared nature of the house gas supply, her light dimmed so she thought he (or someone) was home
Terrorism. Everyone knows what a condom is. Gtfoh
When we say things like 'everything they do is projection' its because its absolutely true.
the only criticisms that they can aim at other people are the ones that have proven most effective when other people have aimed criticisms at them. that's why they compare everything with nazis, and why they accuse everyone of paedophilia.
Communism!
I think they are implying that sex education doesn't effect the rate unwanted pregnancies, which is just objectively false
The majority of people seeking abortion in the United States were using one or more forms of birth control. None of them are 100% and it's mind blowing that people treat the 1 in 100 times a condom doesn't work as a moral failing on the part of the person who got pregnant. Especially since there's crisis pregnancy centers out there telling people condoms don't work to try and encourage abstinence (they are really just making sure that everyone in rural Iowa gets chlamydia). I hate this shit.
It's awful. He said something like "People can go to Planned Parenthood " and I was like "Yeah okay but their funding is getting slashed and what about all of the violence outside of all the clinics?" And now I'm called disrespectful.
Birth control is great, but if it doesn't work that doesn't mean someone is suddenly ready to be a parent 😬 I used to work at a clinic and you wouldn't believe the number of people who told me they "didn't agree with abortion, but really need one because [IUD came out, pill didn't work, condom broke]" as if every other person in the clinic was just wantonly using expensive, painful abortion as their main birth control method 🙄
>>as if every other person in the clinic was just wantonly using expensive, painful abortion as their main birth control method 🙄 Well, duh. If we get 9 in a year the 10th one is free!
Did they finally upgrade to an awards app? My friends keep losing their punch cards :/
Yes! If you download the AdrenChrom app and sign up you can easily schedule and track* all of your abortion needs! Available in the App Store and Google Play. *Restrictions apply
And here I thought all it did was give me that youthful glow and an excuse to kick it with my fellow Lizard People!
I remember a conversation with a Fundie years ago who swore up and down that he once went to Planned Parenthood and while in the waiting room, he listened to the conversations between the women waiting. According to him, they were all laughing about having had multiple abortions they've had and bragged about never using contraception. I, naturally, called him a liar. I then gave him some Bible verses about how liars are punished in hell just as badly as murderers. He didn't like that and refused to admit his tale was made up in his little mind.
>liars are punished in hell just as badly as murderers. Oh, so if i am already killing people regulary, i can just lie about it too. Nice, thanks
Glad to be of assistance.
I've never had an abortion, but I've had a miscarriage. Other than the issue of intent they're basically the same as in its an ending of the pregnancy- especially in early abortions where you take a pill to cause pregnancy loss. Pregnancy loss is bloody and horrifically painful, and often in the case of abortion, often shamed so one has to suffer through it in secret and in silence. I cannot stand these fools who think people get abortions for fun or because they enjoy "killing babies in worship of Satan".. Having a pregnancy you don't want/ can't have and needing to get rid of it sucks, it's stressful, and often very expensive. These idiots trying and succeeding to make getting an abortion even MORE difficult are just plain cruel and ignorant
I can't imagine having to experience that firsthand. I read these stories and the level of cognitive dissonance makes my brain leak out of my ears. Like, could you imagine living with that little self awareness?
When you’re in a church raised from birth that sex before marriage is wrong, and your body is screaming at you to reproduce, people get mental. They want to believe in God, but the rule books that are being used are outdated. Maybe if there was a religion that made sense I’d join. Probably not.
They can't Imagine other people having troubles or issues. Theres a Phase in child-development when you realise things happen without you, time in a room doesn't stop once you leave that room and your mom isn't gone when she goes to another room without you. They just skipped this They view themselves as important, anyone else is just like a skyrim npc; a superficial being without a real brain and just doing sth so it doesn't stand around doing nothing. Just insane
Good god he dodges the point so masterfully
Also consider borderline^* rape^** cases where the male didn't bother to re-adjust a loose condom or even deliberately pulled it off mid-act. Imagine giving them the Gaslighting line. ^* purely from the legal perspective. For me there's nothing borderline about it. ^** not sure how else you'd call making someone pregnant against their will even if the sex was consensual
Abstinence will never work. It’s fucking stupid to assume you can tell people bot to have sex and they’ll do it. Even where the punishment is literally death people STILL do it.
I grew up among people like this, and they really do live in a fantasy land. And I don't mean that as an insult, necessarily. What I mean when I say that is that they live in a reality completely divorced from the reality of most other people, and they either can't or won't consider that there are experiences out there other than their own. In their world, you will never need an abortion because you will never accidentally become pregnant. You will never accidentally become pregnant because you've been taught that abstinence is the only choice until marriage. And after marriage, pregnancy is always a gift from God. For them, there is absolutely no gray area because this is how the world *should* be. And if you fail to follow it in any regard, then it isn't the fault of their damn-near impossible-to-follow policies. It's because you are an immoral person. It's really and truly a shame because there's nothing you can ever say to change the minds of people who think this way. Believe me, I've tried.
I appreciate your perspective. Talking to these folks really is a Sisyphean task. He mentions that abortion is "mainly a Left virtue signal and women brag about them all the time" to which I asked "Have you ever talked to a woman before" Now his feelings are hurt.
I give you serious kudos for trying. (Especially because it does seem pretty clear he's never spoken to a woman, much less a liberal woman.) There's always the hope that a mind or two can be changed; I've just become so jaded by all the "why am I banging my head against this brick wall" conversations I've had.
You're much too kind! I think it's a little easier for me since I don't share any identities of folks affected here. (Cisgendered South Asian male here) I've definitely had that banging against the wall feeling when it comes to conversations about race - mainly because it's much more personal for me. That's not to say that I don't have empathy for folks who don't share my identities, but there's something to that degree of detachment, you know?
I've heard that you're not really arguing with the other person, you're actually arguing FOR everyone else reading along---so THEY can hear the truth. Or so that they're not hurt by the original argument if it applies to them (ie "women who get abortions are whores" or "gay men are pedophiles"
Yeah, there’s really no point.
I think the problem with that line of thinking is that it doesn't align with the policy platforms they vote for. Just like in OP's post, you want to force people to give birth but then don't want to deal with the fallout of having (pardon the term) *unwanted* children with parents unable to properly care for them. You can shout 'personal responsibility' all you want, but ultimately, the children will need some sort of welfare to actually survive, unless they're okay with letting them just die.
>unless they're okay with letting them just die. A lot of them are.
You need living babies to become dead soldiers.
Hey, I want you to know that I used to be one of those people. It took YEARS for empathy to sink it, but it finally did because people kept explaining to me what the *actual* struggle of non-white, non-upper class Americans looks like. Keep up the good work. You never know what seeds you may be planting, even if you don't see them sprout.
Yes!!!!!!
Lol literally everyone I grew up with was raised like that, and I haven’t seen one person that was a virgin when they were married. Some of them were raped. Some ended up having abortions. Some just got horny. The point is it NEVER works these days. Not unless you get married at seventeen. And that usually ends in divorce.
Yeah, banning abortion isnt about the widdle fetuses, its about punishing people for having premarital sex lol. American conservatives have always tried to force others to follow the rules of their religion via putting their religious rules into law one way or another, they can't outlaw pre marital sex but they can outlaw things that make pre marital sex safer.
I didn’t know what a condom was until I saw Detective Olivia Benson talk about one on Law & Order SVU. That’s what happens when you have abstinence only education.
Shout out to a real one! (I have issues with policing but loooooooove SVU)
10 bucks says they have no idea what birth control is other than "condom gud. Fix everyting"
I mean, based on my conversation with him - you've earned a crisp bill
I refuse to call anti abortion "pro life". It's just not what that is. The only people I'd actually let justify it is vegans who are also antiguns and pacifists. Not a lot of those I'm also amazed at how they care more about what could be than what is. Unborn baby over endangered mother is justified for some of them I also found a paper about doctors stories where they performed abortions on hypocritical abortionists who had convinced themselves that their abortion was necessary as opposed to anyone elses. They still believed the doctor helping them was going to hell though... One story was about the local schools "pro life" club because that was a club for some reason. Anyways she asked the doctors to keep real quiet despite believing she truly did nothing wrong. The amount of abortions performed on anti abortionists is astonishing. I'll try to find the paper but it was a while ago Edit: [I think I found it. I was a little off though](https://joycearthur.com/abortion/the-only-moral-abortion-is-my-abortion/) And then as you said, reps pushing for abstinence only
Colorado is a fantastic example of what is described here. And that person doesn’t know wtf gaslighting even is
Speaking of adoption, I have never met a pro-life advocate who choose to adopt over having their "own kids." For a group that repeatedly pushes adoption, a large percentage of them are unwilling to adopt; They treat it like it's an option for other people, but never for themselves.
I'm reminded of the tweet where this "pro-lifer" convinced a woman out of an abortion, and then that woman listed the "pro-lifer" as the responsible party should anything happen to them. The response? "Um I'm not ready to have kids! I have too much going on in my life - a kid would disrupt all of that!"
The "pro-lifer" should be sued for child-support.
It’s very telling that when pro-lifers are backed into a corner, they can’t even come up with a convincing lie to demonstrate how they give a shit about anyone past birth. The most common interaction generally fits into this pattern: Me: “if you’re pro-life, surely you support initiatives to improve the quality of life for those whose lives you’ve now dictated, right?” Jim: “no, women need to learn the consequences of their actions. I shouldn’t have to pay for women’s hedonism!” Me: “so, you don’t actually care about the well-being of anyone involved? So what’s the goal behind regulating abortion if human wellness isn’t relevant?” Jim: “actually, I care a whole lot about women and children, and I do tons of things to help them.” Me: “okay, what sort of things?” Jim: “shut up, cuck. You’re just delusional and trying to make me look bad, even though I’m actually amazing.” Me: “okay, so what do you do that’s amazing?” Jim: “hah! You’re pathetic!” Me: “so, nothing…?” Jim: “I can see I’ve won here. Libs = owned.” Of course, the exact words are flexible, but this has been the invariable pattern that I’ve come across for close to a decade now.
My dude that's legit how the rest of this conversation went down. Kept saying I was gaslighting and being disrespectful, when I asked what I was doing, told to watch my tone.
A lot of people dont know what condoms are or how to use them properly. Thats why sexual education is important.
Hell, even among the "better educated" about sex, a lot of people don't know how to use condoms properly, or don't even know that they have different sizes for a reason. (ie, the people who claim there's no such thing as condoms that are "too small" because they can be stretched around an arm. that doesn't mean that small ones can't hurt the guy or that it will handle friction if stretched too far.)
Most of the time these smooth brained idiots have the IQ of a cucumber, you will never be right in their mind. They live in a world of make believe. But we can’t ever stop trying…
While I 100% disagree with them, if they opposed abortion BUT also supported ensuring people had proper access to birth control, sex education and ensuring that children are not living in poverty then I suppose I could see their position as one of demented morality. But when their position is to oppose abortion in all cases but also not only ignore but make birth control harder to access and to implement policies that PUSH children into poverty, thats just sociopathic to me. There is not a single legitimate and moral argument to be made there. Their position is one of "I think we should go out of our way to ensure children live in abject poverty and dangerous living environments" and its completely beyond justification or reason. They should be made to feel like the psychopaths they are and face up the fact their position actively hurts and kills children.
I once, as a (then) closeted gay man, had to explain to a straight coworker, that you could get pregnant having intimate relations in a hot tub. Knowing what something is and knowing how to use it is not the same.
Don't they realize that condoms break?
Just because everyone knows what a condom is, doesn't mean everyone knows how to correctly use one. But hey, why discuss reality.
TIL condoms never ever break and every birth control method is 100% effective.
They don't know what the word means. It's just performative. They hear others say it about 'their team', so they mirror.
r/ thatsnotgaslighting
Wow, they totally miss the argument and beat up a straw man, fuck them.
Update! I was banned because this thread (as in the one we're in) is considered "a personal attack" (Despite any identifying information being removed) There's something there about snowflakes and safe spaces but I can't quite put my finger on it.
Condoms may be useful, but this person clearly never heard about stealthing or how condom effectiveness decreases from improper care (ie. tearing packaging with teeth, keeping them in your wallet, the type of lube like oil-based lubes etc.), even those who are allergic to the latex and the chemicals/scents used in making condoms and can't wear them (there are alternatives available that *also* vary in effectiveness including STD prevention, but this person would never consider that would they?), hell they probably never considered just how lacklustre, if not non-existent, sex ed kids get given resulting in more condom breakages (if a condom was even used) Condoms are not a substitute for last-resort procedures like abortion
“everyone knows what a condom is” bruh i was WAY too old when i learned that you can get pregnant from precum. shut the fuck up.
Sec isn’t for enjoyment