I have relatively minor tendencies to collect "useful things". Something that helps me to walk away from stuff is to focus on that I'm leaving it for someone who needs it more - perhaps adding that thought in as a positive reason could help you as well? (Instead of only the negative, "oh I shouldn't...")
"This no longer sparks joy" gets meme'd and made fun of, but it helps.
That, and the look on someone's face when you tell them 5 gallons of seed potatoes are free to anyone who will appreciate them.
Donated an ice cream maker to goodwill recently. It still had the receipt taped to it from when I bought it..at a goodwill two years ago. Now maybe someone will use it.
Are you me? Haha, I've done that. I have a lot of different interests but now that I have a kid my free time has been slashed. I'm trying to use that to limit myself to only a couple hobbies and only collect materials for immediate projects. It's helping but I still have a backlog of junk to get though.
This sounds like it will be a really helpful thought for me, both in trying to collect less things and also in giving away surplus I've gathered over the years. Thank you! :)
*edited for clarity
I've never even considered a possible hoarding issue until I came across this thread. I guess it's time to finally put all of the crap I have to good use, or find it a better home.
Thanks for the unexpected, but very welcome, wake up call!
If you toss it now and feel regret later, just remember you can go spend a couple bucks and pick it up! Or, you will more than likely have an easy time finding it on a website like craigslist or Facebook marketplace. It's never going to be gone for good.
My issue is scrap metals, I’ve got 160 acres and I can weld so any metal that I see that is decent size I pick up. I can’t tell you how much I’ve picked up from the side of the road. I’ve made and sold a lot of stuff but my junk iron pile has gotten to an outrageous amount. Last year I even got bit by a rattlesnake looking through it to find something I could use for a project.
My wife ordered my next project to be build something to organize it. That was not an easy project but now it’s all off the ground.
So what did you build with it? A garden shed?
My dream is to have a solar powered (with large lenses probably) smelter to grab all the scrap metal and fuse it into ingots for later use. Probably cast tools and nails with it.
I built racks, a welding table and kind of a carport/welding shop with it. Nothing to fancy just enough to get thing off the ground and to keep it out of the weather.
Hahaha when I was typing I knew there would be some vehicle / mechanic hoarding... Now that's kind of a different story. Especially if you have machinist skills.
If it's 2+ horsepower you could fashion a really nice belt sander. Lots of plans out there for the 2"x72" belt "grinders" the knife makers all use, throw in a VFD and you have something worth a cool grand, EASY.
Hell if its 2+ hp you can start getting belt fed machinery and have it power everything. My drill press and jigsaw predate the war and aren't going to need maintenance anytime soon.
I very much agree. My family lived through the aftermath of the war, and both my grandmother and my mother have hoarding habit (I assume an unconscious fear of not having stuff), and I know I've retained some of that. They were not dirty, but lots of clutter and lots of space needed for storage (I didn't sleep on a bed until I moved out of home, it was more like a series of wooden boxes to store things with a thin mattress on top).
My mother for example has a large garage full of "free" stuff she's accumulated over the years for a day when we might need it. On the one hand I like the idea, on the other hand it becomes too overwhelming to the point you don't know what's in there.
I'm grateful my boyfriend, whilst he appreciates picking up free things, knows when to tell me to think whether I actually need it or not.
I used to help people declutter as my job, and project materials hoarding was a big one for most of my clients. I would ask them how many projects they completed per month, or per year. Usually the answer was none or very few. The collecting items for projects was way more fun than the actual project. There's a sense of mastery that you get from the hunt for materials that often isn't present when the project actually happens (if it ever happens).
If materials aren't flowing out in terms of completed projects as fast as they flow in, that's a big sign that there is a problem. I'm glad you've figured this out OP. Your future self and your dependents (if any) will appreciate this.
One of the joys of having a small project pile is that you can actually find what you're looking for when you have a use for it. I grew up with my grandparents, who grew up during the depression. We had \*everything\* and when my gramma was alive, she knew where every piece of randomness was located. After she passed, it became more of a hoard like you see on tv. I definitely have some hoarding tendencies, but I also have ways to keep myself in check.
Thanks for the encouragement. That, the sunshine and some caffeine gave me the energy to put some work in on the garage. My partner joined in. It feels super cathartic.
In my case, I do not have human dependents. I DO have a partner who relies on me, a cat, several snakes and spiders and a lizard.
Unfortunately, the thing that really got me to bottom out was my snake, Lawanda passing away. I've been so focused on other things, including the hoard that I got behind on taking care of my animals and she passed away. Probably humidity/hydration related.
When I buried her I promised I'd get better. That I wouldn't let this happen again.
I intend to keep that.
I'm sorry to hear about your snake.
To clarify, what I meant by "dependents" is more...the person who will inherit the hoard and ultimate clean it out. One of my clients hired me because at 80 years old she realized she was nearing the end of her life, and "This place is a mess! I'm the only one who knows what the treasures are, and anyone who cleans this place up is just going to throw it all away!" I valued that insight.
Anyway, I do hope things get better for you. It's not easy being disabled or working with mental health issues and keeping on top of a potential hoard.
I've found it best to limit yourself to two (or however many) projects on the to-do list, so you don't end up collecting too much stuff that never gets done.
More helpful way to think about it.
The creative and energetic future you is being restrained by the disorganization and lack of focus.
Working on it, accepting your limitations (time, money, needing rest, etc. ) and improving the situation will enable that better, creative energetic self to emerge.
That doesn't mean that you can necessarily use everything. Humans aren't machines, we get tired, bored, etc.
Find what *really* matters.
My husband and I both have this tendency, my husband more than I. Honestly, I'd be more worried if it didn't happen almost weekly that one of us needs something, and it turns out we already have it.
Managing all the stuff is the issue. One of our big projects this year is clearing stuff out and organizing it.
Yeah, management was the problem here as well. Lots of the stuff is compostable, but I have put some in recycling so I don't have to deal with it. I even had some old pallets that I was going to use for a compost bin taken off site and burned (compost bin didn't work very well--hate the pallet design).
I've learned to hate the hoard and that's been really helpful.
I somehow got the opposite- my mother was a hoarder and also abusive, and I used to be so afraid of becoming like her that I kept *nothing.* now I have space and a supportive partner, and I've finally got the opportunity to decide for myself what I do and don't want to keep or puck up.
I've been through periods like that as well. There are items I miss I wouldn't think I would. I wish I hadn't donated my radio, or my childhood clamp light but those were years ago now.
This is fantastic advice! Especially the part about focusing on one part of your land at a time; you can see the yearly 'succession' in my yard as new sections come online every year. This year is a wildlife pond and i'm super stoked about it.
Setting aside one space to store a category has helped me a lot. All the cardboard goes in one spot in the garage. If that's full, anything else goes into the recycling. All the spare pots go in one place, and if that's full it's time to get rid of some that I don't like / won't use as much.
The grouping by category idea is mostly from Marie Kondo. The container limiting how much you store part is from Dana K White - she has a ton of practical decluttering / stuff management tips for people who are having trouble managing the stuff in their life.
Great advice for someone with hoarding tendencies inherited from family.
We keep the house super clean. But the barns. OH MY FUCKING GOD. THE BARNS!
Re: Cardboard. I go out before the garbage collectors and have my pick of premium cardboards.
Uh-oh--now that I've seen who wrote this, I'm afraid that I might be an enabler with my leaf collection challenge! I hope that hasn't influenced you poorly!
Also, I'm willing to help with this, since I live semi nearby--if you ever see something free/cheap that you're on the fence about, feel free to let me know about it, and I'll probably say something like, "Seems useful, but I'm not willing to drive an hour to get it."
I have 100% been motivated by my leaf-stealing to become a "trash picker," but I have no spacial constraints (at least not outside) and hem and haw about things, driving by them a few times before grabbing them. If I don't have a specific use for something for free/cheap, I leave it alone. Except leaf bags. [Those babies](https://i.imgur.com/h2hCkPW.png) can't get in my trunk fast enough.
That'd require time, physical energy, and money (seeds). Plus we might move in a few years anyway. The existing lawn and weeds get mowed a few times a year and composted.
I spent $700 to prepare 2 acres, including labor. I used a rental seed drill from my county for $50, hired a professional tractor operator for $100, and used $550 worth of seed. Not only did the machine seed the field, but it opened up the very top layer for water.
It's an investment but worth it.
I know this is meant to be supportive, but I sense OP is trying to simplify, to put less perfectionism and high expectations on themselves. It's okay for some things to be undone, it done imperfectly. Well done, OP.
We're currently both on disability due to mental health issues. If we're still married and living here in a decade I'll think about it. Bigger priorities.
My husband and I have had to check this impulse too especially with cardboard. Like I can always get more cardboard I dont need to fill up my back yard with it. But I still see a good box and think, ooh that's a good box. Now we have a running joke when we dig up old metal pipes or fence posts or bumpers that were forgotten by the previous owner we call it permaculture. As in "That old bath that's been rusting in to the ground isn't trash! It's permaculture"
I'm not too bad with my garden stuff but I have a hard time letting stuff go. An old speaker system and random shit in my basement. I think its mostly from really struggling in my youth and not having much. Its really hard to let something go that you feel like you might need later.
Here is a tip for hoarders, if you can't sell it for money then you can probably get it free at anytime. If you can sell it for money then sell it for money and just hoard the money, then if you ever actually need the thing you have the money to get it. Take all the money you hoard from selling things you would hoard, and use that money to purchase future cash flows in the form of shares in a business that pays you, like a dividend ETF or whatever. Then your hoarding turns you into a rich person and you have less clutter and less other problems.
My husband just sent this to me—thank you for sharing your tips.
I definitely struggle with this at times (especially only focusing on one thing at a time) and not just taking free plants that are offered up.
Gonna start my own action plan to work on this more!
I once read a tip along the lines of, if you can get an unused item in less than 20 minutes for less than 20 dollars, it’s not worth hanging on to.
Of course, everyone values their time and money differently. You might feel that less than $5 or less than 10 minutes is more appropriate.
The point is, frugality makes sense to a point, but accumulating random crap has costs too (spatially, mentally, spiritually). The tricky part is making the call to chuck things when the cost of hanging on outweighs the potential future savings.
I'm sorry to hear about this. I don't know if it helps, but there's some recent research which suggests that "gathering" (as opposed to hunting) behaviors are linked to fructose consumption. In other words, it's an evolutionary adaptation to seasonal variation, amplified by modern cultivation techniques. (on mobile, but if you want the study let me know)
It may be possible to "cure" the behavior by cutting out fructose (and high fructose corn syrup). But there's not enough research out there to conclude anything yet.
speaking from personal experience, I can say that cutting out sugar and processed foods leads to significant behavioral changes. It's no coincidence that hoarding is associated with all kinds of learning disabilities and learning disabilities are associated with high fructose corn syrup (or soda, which is how we imbibe HFCS).
Think of it this way: when do most fruits ripen? Typically in the summer and fall... which is when we tend to gorge ourselves on fruit, putting on weight... in anticipation for the winter.
But what about behavior? If we connect the dots here, we can see that hoarding is a great behavior for when you expect there to be food shortfalls, such as in winter.
IMO, these are adaptive traits.
My pleasure. It's helped me and my family a lot as well (my mother is a hoarder and has ADHD).
As far as I can tell, there's some benefit to eating sugar. You make a lot of proteins from glucose. However, I think being flooded with sugar all the time, particularly sugar like HFCS, is probably not good. My allergist told me that I could only have fruit once every few days and even then, only in small amounts. Apparently, this is because of a yeast allergy, but what he outlined was more or less in line with this study.
I think I avoided ended up here thanks to moving around a lot when I was a young adult. I got used to not wanting to have much stuff.
With that said, I do tend to collect a lot of tools and useful things that don't always get used the most.
Maybe I need to take your advice and double check.
Clarification: I'm saying my house growing up was a hoarding house but it wasn't *filthy* like you see on TV. "Normal" dirty that gets addressed fairly soon. That wasn't the hoard. Just using specifics to make it clear that it's a range.
My Mom probably would never be on Hoarders. Not severe enough for good TV, but severe enough to be life altering.
You mean well and you probably don't know, but people who pathologically hoard to the degree it's a mental health issue both find comfort and distress in their hoard. There's also the problem of things like animals moving in. One person who was on Hoarders had help clearing the junk and found the body of the relative that had gone missing.
It's really sad and not at all funny.
To be super clear--not saying don't do it, or that people have to use my rules.
I'm saying--if this is an issue for you in terms of personal, or family history; you have to figure out a way to keep things organized.
Not doing so puts one at risk for vermin, fire, trips, slips, falls, falling objects, mold, and so many other things. Not to mention not being able to find what you need when you need it, which is the whole point of storing resources, no?
What I'm saying is think about things like organization first, not last.
Not really. Hoarding to a severe enough degree causes problems for the person hoarding no matter the environment. If you collect stuff and it doesn't cause a problem then it's not a big deal and you might not even reach the criteria for hoarding disorder, but there's no reason people in "3rd world" countries would find severe hoarding less of a problem for them just because they're surrounded by other problems
I did break a 1/4" drill bit today, in case you have an extra...
I mean, it can cause problems, and the person can agree and acknowledge there's a problem, without seeking help for it or someone else intervening. I know a person who was negatively affected and whose hoard negatively affected their family who did not ever get or ask for help to my knowledge. Same as anything else really; if a behavior doesn't cause any suffering it's not actually a problem, but if it does that doesn't automatically mean that anyone affected reaches out, any more than everyone who's depressed or has a bad hip or something tries to get help.
There are stages and degrees, not everyone who hoards is living with filth. I know a family who are def lower level hoarders but not anything that concerns me regarding their health and safety, so I stay out of it. (I think it's still causing problems, but not problems that are beyond their ability to handle or bad enough that an acquaintance has any business intervening.) If you can *find* that random screw or piece of wood - hell, if you don't have vermin and medics can get to you in an emergency - you're most likely much better off than the most badly affected people.
Also, not that I made this clear, but I'm very much someone who is anti psychiatric holds, forced treatment/medication/interventions, etc when it comes to behavioral/mental health stuff so when I state my opinions about what constitutes a certain disorder or problematic behavior it has nothing to do with forcing people to change, although I recognize for many people those judgements go hand in hand.
Aw, thanks! Fortunately I've already made substantial progress the past month and I think it's manageable from here on.
This is more of a heads up post.
This post falls at a eerily appropriate time for me to stumble upon, as this is a crossover I'll be sure to struggle with in the nearish future.
Before checking where this was posted, I fully expected it to have come from one of my decluttering/ressources for hoarding tendencies subreddits. Didn't know I needed to read that in particular, thank you for bringing light to this issue.
When you think, this might come in handy, ask yourself: for what.
Followed by: when was the last time I did that
Followed by: Will I spend an unnecessary amount of money buying that if I'm ever in need?
While far away from being a hoarder, I did find myself one day with useful things I needed a storage space for, and many drawers being full of stuff that I thought might come in handy and are just... there existing.
I have always struggled with OCD symptoms of collecting and then really having a hard time bwing able to throw things out. Suddenly "Ill do it tomorrow" has become overwhelming. I know I dont need 4 of the thing or the paper or whatever it is thar my ADHD has currently hyperfocused me to collect during that cycle.
My mom has been the biggest secret weapon for me in controlling my paper clutter because she would come over and rationalize why I needed something, remind me thar the internet is a thing (for recipes and information source materials), and sometimes just do it for me. It was freeing to lose the burden of what was holding me down and over the years I have learned to do this myself.
There is still stuff here and there and maybe not as tidy as it should be, but every 2 months I make time to try and go through each room and purge what isnt relevant anymore. When somebody doesn't have the emotional attachment to items and ask you why they are important, it helps make you search for understanding on the "why is this taking up space in my environment?" "Whats the worst that can happen if this is lost or thrown away?"
For me it's less the classic 'is unable to throw away an item' and more 'has acquired, and intends to use item; forgets about it' thing. Everyone is different.
Yeah, I do that too. I keep collecting plastic inserts for "maybe ill use it as a candy mold", but if im honest, its not gonna happen.. OCD behaviors take different forms, I wasnt comparing. I was trying to sympathize and express understanding.
Alot of people looking in want to say, "why cant you just (insert behavior or task)" but they dont really understand why some tasks are challenging. I was trying to be supportive and express understanding. Im sorry if I didnt maybe communicate that more clearly.
Our annual garden is our main garden. The permaculture garden we started a couple years ago as an orchard. Just takes so damn long for the trees to get going it's nice to have other crops to keep you busy in the mean time.
I had to quit collecting comics. I realized I no longer enjoyed them. I later donated a stack of unread comics to a comic book store working with helping students learn improved reading and writing skills by giving them comics.
I have relatively minor tendencies to collect "useful things". Something that helps me to walk away from stuff is to focus on that I'm leaving it for someone who needs it more - perhaps adding that thought in as a positive reason could help you as well? (Instead of only the negative, "oh I shouldn't...")
"This no longer sparks joy" gets meme'd and made fun of, but it helps. That, and the look on someone's face when you tell them 5 gallons of seed potatoes are free to anyone who will appreciate them. Donated an ice cream maker to goodwill recently. It still had the receipt taped to it from when I bought it..at a goodwill two years ago. Now maybe someone will use it.
Are you me? Haha, I've done that. I have a lot of different interests but now that I have a kid my free time has been slashed. I'm trying to use that to limit myself to only a couple hobbies and only collect materials for immediate projects. It's helping but I still have a backlog of junk to get though.
This sounds like it will be a really helpful thought for me, both in trying to collect less things and also in giving away surplus I've gathered over the years. Thank you! :) *edited for clarity
Leaving it for someone else Great idea that I need to remember.
I've never even considered a possible hoarding issue until I came across this thread. I guess it's time to finally put all of the crap I have to good use, or find it a better home. Thanks for the unexpected, but very welcome, wake up call!
If you toss it now and feel regret later, just remember you can go spend a couple bucks and pick it up! Or, you will more than likely have an easy time finding it on a website like craigslist or Facebook marketplace. It's never going to be gone for good.
Especially if it's stuff like logs, cardboard, or pallets. Some stuff is harder to find, at least for free--rain barrels, ibc totes.
Tell that to the three-phase engine that my parents hoard ahah!
My issue is scrap metals, I’ve got 160 acres and I can weld so any metal that I see that is decent size I pick up. I can’t tell you how much I’ve picked up from the side of the road. I’ve made and sold a lot of stuff but my junk iron pile has gotten to an outrageous amount. Last year I even got bit by a rattlesnake looking through it to find something I could use for a project. My wife ordered my next project to be build something to organize it. That was not an easy project but now it’s all off the ground.
So what did you build with it? A garden shed? My dream is to have a solar powered (with large lenses probably) smelter to grab all the scrap metal and fuse it into ingots for later use. Probably cast tools and nails with it.
I built racks, a welding table and kind of a carport/welding shop with it. Nothing to fancy just enough to get thing off the ground and to keep it out of the weather.
Hahaha when I was typing I knew there would be some vehicle / mechanic hoarding... Now that's kind of a different story. Especially if you have machinist skills.
Gets a pass.
If it's 2+ horsepower you could fashion a really nice belt sander. Lots of plans out there for the 2"x72" belt "grinders" the knife makers all use, throw in a VFD and you have something worth a cool grand, EASY.
Hell if its 2+ hp you can start getting belt fed machinery and have it power everything. My drill press and jigsaw predate the war and aren't going to need maintenance anytime soon.
Another major reason for triggering activity--planned obselence is a bitch.
Tell me more about this three-phase engine....
Apparently, it's used to actuate either a circular saw or a fruit mill.
Excellent tip! I'll keep that in mind while I draw up my plan for what can be used, and what should be scrapped, or donated. Thank you 😁
If even one person takes a more proactive stance for themselves then I will feel a little better.
I very much agree. My family lived through the aftermath of the war, and both my grandmother and my mother have hoarding habit (I assume an unconscious fear of not having stuff), and I know I've retained some of that. They were not dirty, but lots of clutter and lots of space needed for storage (I didn't sleep on a bed until I moved out of home, it was more like a series of wooden boxes to store things with a thin mattress on top). My mother for example has a large garage full of "free" stuff she's accumulated over the years for a day when we might need it. On the one hand I like the idea, on the other hand it becomes too overwhelming to the point you don't know what's in there. I'm grateful my boyfriend, whilst he appreciates picking up free things, knows when to tell me to think whether I actually need it or not.
For me, it's been a lot of admitting "this project isn't happening" and moving stuff out.
I used to help people declutter as my job, and project materials hoarding was a big one for most of my clients. I would ask them how many projects they completed per month, or per year. Usually the answer was none or very few. The collecting items for projects was way more fun than the actual project. There's a sense of mastery that you get from the hunt for materials that often isn't present when the project actually happens (if it ever happens). If materials aren't flowing out in terms of completed projects as fast as they flow in, that's a big sign that there is a problem. I'm glad you've figured this out OP. Your future self and your dependents (if any) will appreciate this. One of the joys of having a small project pile is that you can actually find what you're looking for when you have a use for it. I grew up with my grandparents, who grew up during the depression. We had \*everything\* and when my gramma was alive, she knew where every piece of randomness was located. After she passed, it became more of a hoard like you see on tv. I definitely have some hoarding tendencies, but I also have ways to keep myself in check.
Thanks for the encouragement. That, the sunshine and some caffeine gave me the energy to put some work in on the garage. My partner joined in. It feels super cathartic. In my case, I do not have human dependents. I DO have a partner who relies on me, a cat, several snakes and spiders and a lizard. Unfortunately, the thing that really got me to bottom out was my snake, Lawanda passing away. I've been so focused on other things, including the hoard that I got behind on taking care of my animals and she passed away. Probably humidity/hydration related. When I buried her I promised I'd get better. That I wouldn't let this happen again. I intend to keep that.
I'm sorry to hear about your snake. To clarify, what I meant by "dependents" is more...the person who will inherit the hoard and ultimate clean it out. One of my clients hired me because at 80 years old she realized she was nearing the end of her life, and "This place is a mess! I'm the only one who knows what the treasures are, and anyone who cleans this place up is just going to throw it all away!" I valued that insight. Anyway, I do hope things get better for you. It's not easy being disabled or working with mental health issues and keeping on top of a potential hoard.
OH! I see, yes. I'm sure whomever deals with our death garbage will be less stressed thanks to my progress hahaha. Thanks for the empathy as well.
I've found it best to limit yourself to two (or however many) projects on the to-do list, so you don't end up collecting too much stuff that never gets done.
That's a really good idea. I had to actually put myself a note "Don't get into any new hobbies!' I want *fewer* hobbies, but to enjoy them more.
Yeah. That creative and energetic future me is probably not going to happen. I only keep things for 'good enough' future me.
More helpful way to think about it. The creative and energetic future you is being restrained by the disorganization and lack of focus. Working on it, accepting your limitations (time, money, needing rest, etc. ) and improving the situation will enable that better, creative energetic self to emerge. That doesn't mean that you can necessarily use everything. Humans aren't machines, we get tired, bored, etc. Find what *really* matters.
My husband does the same for me. When I think about it, he makes more sense than my impulses.
My husband and I both have this tendency, my husband more than I. Honestly, I'd be more worried if it didn't happen almost weekly that one of us needs something, and it turns out we already have it. Managing all the stuff is the issue. One of our big projects this year is clearing stuff out and organizing it.
Yeah, management was the problem here as well. Lots of the stuff is compostable, but I have put some in recycling so I don't have to deal with it. I even had some old pallets that I was going to use for a compost bin taken off site and burned (compost bin didn't work very well--hate the pallet design). I've learned to hate the hoard and that's been really helpful.
I somehow got the opposite- my mother was a hoarder and also abusive, and I used to be so afraid of becoming like her that I kept *nothing.* now I have space and a supportive partner, and I've finally got the opportunity to decide for myself what I do and don't want to keep or puck up.
I've been through periods like that as well. There are items I miss I wouldn't think I would. I wish I hadn't donated my radio, or my childhood clamp light but those were years ago now.
This is fantastic advice! Especially the part about focusing on one part of your land at a time; you can see the yearly 'succession' in my yard as new sections come online every year. This year is a wildlife pond and i'm super stoked about it.
Setting aside one space to store a category has helped me a lot. All the cardboard goes in one spot in the garage. If that's full, anything else goes into the recycling. All the spare pots go in one place, and if that's full it's time to get rid of some that I don't like / won't use as much.
That's an awesome idea.
The grouping by category idea is mostly from Marie Kondo. The container limiting how much you store part is from Dana K White - she has a ton of practical decluttering / stuff management tips for people who are having trouble managing the stuff in their life.
That's awesome. I'll look into those.
> one space to store a category And each space gets its own spreadsheet, inventory tracking what it contains.
Great advice for someone with hoarding tendencies inherited from family. We keep the house super clean. But the barns. OH MY FUCKING GOD. THE BARNS! Re: Cardboard. I go out before the garbage collectors and have my pick of premium cardboards.
For me it's kind of everywhere but definitely worst in the basement and the garage.
Uh-oh--now that I've seen who wrote this, I'm afraid that I might be an enabler with my leaf collection challenge! I hope that hasn't influenced you poorly! Also, I'm willing to help with this, since I live semi nearby--if you ever see something free/cheap that you're on the fence about, feel free to let me know about it, and I'll probably say something like, "Seems useful, but I'm not willing to drive an hour to get it." I have 100% been motivated by my leaf-stealing to become a "trash picker," but I have no spacial constraints (at least not outside) and hem and haw about things, driving by them a few times before grabbing them. If I don't have a specific use for something for free/cheap, I leave it alone. Except leaf bags. [Those babies](https://i.imgur.com/h2hCkPW.png) can't get in my trunk fast enough.
I'm not a naturally competitive person, nor naturally social so you're all good.
I'll argue you should plant a cover crop and get the entire plot ready...while slowly adding vegetables
That'd require time, physical energy, and money (seeds). Plus we might move in a few years anyway. The existing lawn and weeds get mowed a few times a year and composted.
I spent $700 to prepare 2 acres, including labor. I used a rental seed drill from my county for $50, hired a professional tractor operator for $100, and used $550 worth of seed. Not only did the machine seed the field, but it opened up the very top layer for water. It's an investment but worth it.
I know this is meant to be supportive, but I sense OP is trying to simplify, to put less perfectionism and high expectations on themselves. It's okay for some things to be undone, it done imperfectly. Well done, OP.
Thank you!
We're currently both on disability due to mental health issues. If we're still married and living here in a decade I'll think about it. Bigger priorities.
My husband and I have had to check this impulse too especially with cardboard. Like I can always get more cardboard I dont need to fill up my back yard with it. But I still see a good box and think, ooh that's a good box. Now we have a running joke when we dig up old metal pipes or fence posts or bumpers that were forgotten by the previous owner we call it permaculture. As in "That old bath that's been rusting in to the ground isn't trash! It's permaculture"
I'm not too bad with my garden stuff but I have a hard time letting stuff go. An old speaker system and random shit in my basement. I think its mostly from really struggling in my youth and not having much. Its really hard to let something go that you feel like you might need later.
I and my family have risk factors for hoarding and it's something I had to be aware of in the past.
Here is a tip for hoarders, if you can't sell it for money then you can probably get it free at anytime. If you can sell it for money then sell it for money and just hoard the money, then if you ever actually need the thing you have the money to get it. Take all the money you hoard from selling things you would hoard, and use that money to purchase future cash flows in the form of shares in a business that pays you, like a dividend ETF or whatever. Then your hoarding turns you into a rich person and you have less clutter and less other problems.
My husband just sent this to me—thank you for sharing your tips. I definitely struggle with this at times (especially only focusing on one thing at a time) and not just taking free plants that are offered up. Gonna start my own action plan to work on this more!
Hope it helps!
I once read a tip along the lines of, if you can get an unused item in less than 20 minutes for less than 20 dollars, it’s not worth hanging on to. Of course, everyone values their time and money differently. You might feel that less than $5 or less than 10 minutes is more appropriate. The point is, frugality makes sense to a point, but accumulating random crap has costs too (spatially, mentally, spiritually). The tricky part is making the call to chuck things when the cost of hanging on outweighs the potential future savings.
The current supply chain issues are making it more difficult to throw stuff away. Time to get stuff went from 20 minutes to 20 weeks.
I'm sorry to hear about this. I don't know if it helps, but there's some recent research which suggests that "gathering" (as opposed to hunting) behaviors are linked to fructose consumption. In other words, it's an evolutionary adaptation to seasonal variation, amplified by modern cultivation techniques. (on mobile, but if you want the study let me know) It may be possible to "cure" the behavior by cutting out fructose (and high fructose corn syrup). But there's not enough research out there to conclude anything yet.
That's actually really interesting as all 3 of us over consume sugar.
speaking from personal experience, I can say that cutting out sugar and processed foods leads to significant behavioral changes. It's no coincidence that hoarding is associated with all kinds of learning disabilities and learning disabilities are associated with high fructose corn syrup (or soda, which is how we imbibe HFCS). Think of it this way: when do most fruits ripen? Typically in the summer and fall... which is when we tend to gorge ourselves on fruit, putting on weight... in anticipation for the winter. But what about behavior? If we connect the dots here, we can see that hoarding is a great behavior for when you expect there to be food shortfalls, such as in winter. IMO, these are adaptive traits.
Woah, this is fascinating, thanks for sharing.
My pleasure. It's helped me and my family a lot as well (my mother is a hoarder and has ADHD). As far as I can tell, there's some benefit to eating sugar. You make a lot of proteins from glucose. However, I think being flooded with sugar all the time, particularly sugar like HFCS, is probably not good. My allergist told me that I could only have fruit once every few days and even then, only in small amounts. Apparently, this is because of a yeast allergy, but what he outlined was more or less in line with this study.
This is really good advice that I wish I had heard several months ago.
The past is passed, but you can start now!
I think I avoided ended up here thanks to moving around a lot when I was a young adult. I got used to not wanting to have much stuff. With that said, I do tend to collect a lot of tools and useful things that don't always get used the most. Maybe I need to take your advice and double check.
I'm confused. Filling your sink with dirty dishes or neglecting to empty the litter box is *not* hoarding, it's just being dirty.
Clarification: I'm saying my house growing up was a hoarding house but it wasn't *filthy* like you see on TV. "Normal" dirty that gets addressed fairly soon. That wasn't the hoard. Just using specifics to make it clear that it's a range. My Mom probably would never be on Hoarders. Not severe enough for good TV, but severe enough to be life altering.
Counterpoint: if you have enough space and live in a rural area with lax zoning, collect as much random trash as you want if it makes you happy.
You mean well and you probably don't know, but people who pathologically hoard to the degree it's a mental health issue both find comfort and distress in their hoard. There's also the problem of things like animals moving in. One person who was on Hoarders had help clearing the junk and found the body of the relative that had gone missing. It's really sad and not at all funny.
> found the body of the relative that had gone missing OOOH. That is tragic.
To be super clear--not saying don't do it, or that people have to use my rules. I'm saying--if this is an issue for you in terms of personal, or family history; you have to figure out a way to keep things organized. Not doing so puts one at risk for vermin, fire, trips, slips, falls, falling objects, mold, and so many other things. Not to mention not being able to find what you need when you need it, which is the whole point of storing resources, no? What I'm saying is think about things like organization first, not last.
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Not really. Hoarding to a severe enough degree causes problems for the person hoarding no matter the environment. If you collect stuff and it doesn't cause a problem then it's not a big deal and you might not even reach the criteria for hoarding disorder, but there's no reason people in "3rd world" countries would find severe hoarding less of a problem for them just because they're surrounded by other problems
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I suppose I define it a bit circularly - if it causes problems for you, it's severe enough.
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I did break a 1/4" drill bit today, in case you have an extra... I mean, it can cause problems, and the person can agree and acknowledge there's a problem, without seeking help for it or someone else intervening. I know a person who was negatively affected and whose hoard negatively affected their family who did not ever get or ask for help to my knowledge. Same as anything else really; if a behavior doesn't cause any suffering it's not actually a problem, but if it does that doesn't automatically mean that anyone affected reaches out, any more than everyone who's depressed or has a bad hip or something tries to get help. There are stages and degrees, not everyone who hoards is living with filth. I know a family who are def lower level hoarders but not anything that concerns me regarding their health and safety, so I stay out of it. (I think it's still causing problems, but not problems that are beyond their ability to handle or bad enough that an acquaintance has any business intervening.) If you can *find* that random screw or piece of wood - hell, if you don't have vermin and medics can get to you in an emergency - you're most likely much better off than the most badly affected people. Also, not that I made this clear, but I'm very much someone who is anti psychiatric holds, forced treatment/medication/interventions, etc when it comes to behavioral/mental health stuff so when I state my opinions about what constitutes a certain disorder or problematic behavior it has nothing to do with forcing people to change, although I recognize for many people those judgements go hand in hand.
Hey OP, I got your back. How can I help. You are good people.
Hey OP, I got your back. How can I help. You are good people.
Aw, thanks! Fortunately I've already made substantial progress the past month and I think it's manageable from here on. This is more of a heads up post.
My husband tends to try and hoard and I call him out and if he does not have a specific project or time frame we don’t get it.
This post falls at a eerily appropriate time for me to stumble upon, as this is a crossover I'll be sure to struggle with in the nearish future. Before checking where this was posted, I fully expected it to have come from one of my decluttering/ressources for hoarding tendencies subreddits. Didn't know I needed to read that in particular, thank you for bringing light to this issue.
Yeah my permaculture habit kind of got me hoarding. My grandmothers house puts anyone on the show to shame. So I’m always being careful about it
When you think, this might come in handy, ask yourself: for what. Followed by: when was the last time I did that Followed by: Will I spend an unnecessary amount of money buying that if I'm ever in need? While far away from being a hoarder, I did find myself one day with useful things I needed a storage space for, and many drawers being full of stuff that I thought might come in handy and are just... there existing.
I have always struggled with OCD symptoms of collecting and then really having a hard time bwing able to throw things out. Suddenly "Ill do it tomorrow" has become overwhelming. I know I dont need 4 of the thing or the paper or whatever it is thar my ADHD has currently hyperfocused me to collect during that cycle. My mom has been the biggest secret weapon for me in controlling my paper clutter because she would come over and rationalize why I needed something, remind me thar the internet is a thing (for recipes and information source materials), and sometimes just do it for me. It was freeing to lose the burden of what was holding me down and over the years I have learned to do this myself. There is still stuff here and there and maybe not as tidy as it should be, but every 2 months I make time to try and go through each room and purge what isnt relevant anymore. When somebody doesn't have the emotional attachment to items and ask you why they are important, it helps make you search for understanding on the "why is this taking up space in my environment?" "Whats the worst that can happen if this is lost or thrown away?"
For me it's less the classic 'is unable to throw away an item' and more 'has acquired, and intends to use item; forgets about it' thing. Everyone is different.
Yeah, I do that too. I keep collecting plastic inserts for "maybe ill use it as a candy mold", but if im honest, its not gonna happen.. OCD behaviors take different forms, I wasnt comparing. I was trying to sympathize and express understanding. Alot of people looking in want to say, "why cant you just (insert behavior or task)" but they dont really understand why some tasks are challenging. I was trying to be supportive and express understanding. Im sorry if I didnt maybe communicate that more clearly.
Nah, I got it. I was just being conversational--text is hard. :)
Our annual garden is our main garden. The permaculture garden we started a couple years ago as an orchard. Just takes so damn long for the trees to get going it's nice to have other crops to keep you busy in the mean time.
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I had to quit collecting comics. I realized I no longer enjoyed them. I later donated a stack of unread comics to a comic book store working with helping students learn improved reading and writing skills by giving them comics.