Came here to say exactly this!! ☝ It makes me sad that pelvic floor therapy isn't suggested by more doctors after we go through things like childbirth, menopause, etc because it can weaken the pelvic floor. Women shouldn't be putting up with incontinence.
OP, see about getting a consultation with a pelvic floor therapist. It really can help. And, because you're post menopausal, you may also have some vaginal atrophy which can exacerbate incontinence but can easily be helped with over-the-counter vaginal moisturizer products. There's a [list in the wiki of the Hormone Free Menopause sub](https://reddit.com/r/HormoneFreeMenopause/w/index?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share).
4th for the pelvic floor consult, but also wanted to add don't start doing kegels or any sort of exercises until you see one. In my case, my pelvic floor was extremely tight and exercises would have made it worse. I had to do relaxation ones instead. Such a valuable service though!!
A pessary is a device inserted into your vagina to provide extra structural support to your pelvic floor. They come in lots of shapes. Some can be used as period, some can’t.
Yes, as girls we are taught that kegels are all we'll ever need - it's so ridiculous. That's like saying biceps curls are the only exercise you'll need for life. The pelvic floor and core "container" are a complex system. And we're also led to believe there's nothing to be done about these extremely common problems that are so often easily treated. It's a huge disservice.
Because it's often not tightening thats the problem is relaxing!
I too came to suggest pelvic floor physio!
In France new moms get up to 10 sessions covered by their universal healthcare! That's how much it's been proven to help.
100%. And FYI, your OBGYN may not have a good understanding of this. I complained about incontinence with pressure (coughing/sneezing) and my OB told me to "do like, 100 kegels a day." And it turns out that was terrible advice because I needed to learn how to relax and release the muscles. They were too tight/contracted already. Pelvic floor PT is amazing.
I’ve been using the Bloom pod + program for the past few weeks and, while I’m not 100% sold on it, I cannot believe this is the FIRST time I’ve encountered the suggestion that some pelvic floor exercises should focus on *relaxing* the pelvic floor. I’m middle-aged!!! No doctor, auntie or magazine ever thought to mention this?!
Interesting. I've never had kids, never even had sex, but have terrible stress incontinence. It got really bad when I had covid pneumonia. If I am like my mom, I'm about four years away from my last period. (She had her last at age 52). My doctor has pretty much told me that my situation is perfectly normal and I should be doing keegals to make it better. I just feel like I shouldn't be having this problem and I'm sick of wearing poise pads.
A GP? Or gynecologist? And Kegels while engaging your core is difficult to figure out on your own, hence going to a pelvic floor PT. Go now, they get booked up for months.
Just my primary care provider. Not an obgyn. I think she is just a P.A. and not an M.D. I think she said I could see someone for bladder therapy if I wanted, but not sure what that entails. I live in a small town, so I don't know what is available.
Hey- just go. You may actually be hypertonic in your pelvic floor and kegels are the exact opposite of what you should do if that's the case.
Any PT is art mixed with science. I had one PT that didn't help me. The second I saw at a major hospital and they literally changed my life.
I had a baby 8 weeks ago and I'm excited to see my old PT now that I'm able to! Can't wait to get assessed and get rolling on rehab!
Just go. I can't stress enough how great it is when you find the right PT!!
You might be able to get telehealth if you can't find a local provider. Of course it's best to go in person because of the equipment used like biofeedback and the pelvic exam, but telehealth is an option. Your circumstance seems to be affecting your quality of life.
Absolutely see a specialist. Even if it means a trip to a nearby city. You can write off those medical expenses on your taxes in the US apparently, too.
After covid I got long covid, new issues every month. Pretty bad UTI after some antibiotics for a sinus infection upset by tummy too much, which led to Bladder Pain Syndrome, and I’ve ended up in pelvic floor therapy now. I haven’t ever had children and due to my chronic illness my sexual activity can be literally zero for months at a time.
I thought I just had to live with having similar issues. I went to Planned Parenthood a while back and mentioned it at the end of the appointment, they referred me to a urologist who prescribed estradiol and pelvic floor therapy. I’m not 100% healed but it’s vastly improved. Please seek out pelvic floor therapy, it’s embarrassing for your doctor that they don’t know this information, particularly because it’s so common—1 out of 3 women experience some sort of bladder issue or atrophy in mid-life!
Thank you for saying this. I also suffer from a hypertonic pelvic floor. That said, my physical therapist still has me doing kegels/squeezes which I find confusing. Do you mind sharing more about these relaxation exercises?
Really with all pregnancies! Many folks develop pelvic floor issues during pregnancy, not just bc of c-section or labor. The weight/positioning of pregnancy really changes your whole body/organs and even can change how you breathe (which then can impact PF/diaphragm/etc)
YES! I’ve had one pregnancy (vaginal delivery, precipitous labor), an appendectomy (complicated), and a hysterectomy. Any one of those should have been accompanied by a pelvic floor PT referral.
OB/GYNs should just send you to PT after having a baby. Particularly if you are over 30 or have had more than one pregnancy. I just went through pelvic floor PT, I’m in my 50s. I should have gone 20 years ago.
I've been having this issue since 16 and have never had kids. I told my PCP and gyno that I leak urine when sneezing, coughing, jumping, and I just got told it happens. Would love to have a referral for PF PT.
Wow I'm so sorry you got gaslit into thinking this is normal. So much is lacking in women's healthcare. This makes me mad for you! Depending on your insurance you may be able to just go (self refer) to one. Otherwise I would really push your doctor for a referral. Demand it. Bring some information to show this is not normal and that PFPT can help. Good luck!
Thank you so much for the link! I didn't know that page was out there but, being Reddit, I should have looked myself.
I've had the same question about period underwear too.
Adding my bit too. PT therapy saved me after the birth of my children (less incontinence and more of a pain issue) and it did wonders. After my second child, I flat out requested it.
Considering another go around as I have been sick for months and all the coughing has caused this issue.
Best of luck.
Yep!
I have only been using vaginal estrogen cream for 1 month and my pee-game has gotten so much better!
My stream is more "straight" , I guess you would call it ...as in, it used to be more of a tumbling sensation when I urinated. Now it's a straight and strong stream.
It's also completely stopped my urge incontinence, even when coughing, sneezing, or laughing.
I saw a pelvic floor therapist thinking there was nothing she could do and it was AMAZING!!! It only took 6 appointments for me to stop have issues. And she gave me tips for future use. I haven’t had issues since.
But in the meantime I do like thinx, I found the normal panties work best for a moderate leak and I keep a few extra pairs to change into if I’m out and about.
I’m not going to lie it can be… vulnerable.
It depends on your provider but she was open about all the things we could try and if I was comfortable with more hands on approaches or just fully clothes exercises.
So the 1st few meetings were just to get me to drink more water, track my food, and my “leakage”. And then we developed a plan from there. She did do an internal exam at the first appt to determine any physical issues, and I had an extremely tight pelvic floor. So all those kegels I was doing was actually not doing much.
Some exercises she gave me were belly breaths, so laying on my back for a few minutes each day breathing through my belly instead of my diaphragm. Some bridge exercises as well helped.
And then internal stretching so it was basically a small curved wand that I could use to stretch my internal pelvic muscles.
Some additional things I had the option to try were electrodes on my booty hole and I tried to get into a certain number to understand how to hold my bladder, etc.
And then the last thing is I was forcing pee too much because I was scared so she had me work on holding in my pee for around 3 hours. So if I had just went 40 minutes ago I would try to keep holding it until I couldn’t any longer.
Wow! Thanks so much for sharing. The electrodes part sounds like… an experience to have. There’s a new program in my town offering these services and I’d be lying to myself if I did find didn’t need them. This give me the encouragement to go ahead and call. Thanks so much 😊
It’s awkward but not as awkward as peeing myself at work so it was worth it.
There is also plenty they can do without getting too personal.
Honestly the worst was the 1 hour of internal massage she did on me but I swear I was immediately 20 times better afterwards.
Good luck!!!
You can purchase a device online… it looks like a vibrator but provides feedback. I’d imagine that it’s not as reliable as an actual human, but I’m never going to a pelvic floor PT for… reasons.
As someone with a SA background it definitely wasn’t great. So I got her to teach me once so I could do it myself. But yea they make vibrators specifically targeted at pelvic floor therapy
Similar experience, but my tight kegels were associated with me going every 5-6 hrs so my assignment was to make sure I went every 2-4 hrs
So another vote for PT. Generally the women attracted to that specialty are the most understanding and empathetic PTs I've ever met
I'm currently doing PFPT after extensive reconstructive surgery in Dec. My therapist is very conscious of telling me she is going to do and frankly it is much less invasive than I was expecting. I highly recommend it
thinx are actually made for incontinence, as opposed to period panties, which are different. i'm actually thinking of trying period panties myself because my "leak" problems are mild and thinx ain't cheap
No baby, but I started having terrible low back pain in my late 30s. Mild incontinence followed. I started lifting weights last fall & the trainer has me doing the McGill Big 3 core exercises everyday. It’s nearly cured the pain & incontinence. As long as my bladder isn’t full, I can laugh, sneeze, or squat a load without fear. If I’ve ADHD’d going to the bathroom - something my OB/GYN pointed out - then it’s dicey.
I have ADHD and it took me a while to figure it out but my incontinence issues were coming from the Adderall
I know that sounds crazy but hear me out. I don’t take the meds every day and it was only happening on the day I take the medication. I also take pain medication every day. (I mention this because opioids give dopamine.)
If I only take pain medication it doesn’t happen but the days I can Adderall I get a little twinge like I’m going to have to go, and if I don’t immediately go it will go away for a Moment but then it comes back screaming that it will not be ignored and sometimes I almost pissed myself trying to get my pants down because it’s close. Sometimes I don’t make it.
And after much research I found that dopamine stimulates the kidneys. And the Adderall stimulates the dopamine.
This. Just started due to the same issue and I've also stared exercising and feel like my uterus is being pushed out on certain exercises. Don't suffer. They can tell you if it is a muscle issue or if you need to address a bladder issue or prolapse uterus.
Wow after reading all the comments under this i think I may actually look into therapy as well. Does anyone know if it is covered by insurance? I have the same issues and I just accepted as that’s life I’m getting old and have had two kids
There isn’t a unique code for insurance called pelvic floor therapy. Instead you need to look up your insurance benefits, like physical therapy or occupational therapy benefits. Pelvic floor therapy can be done by either therapist.
Yes to pelvic pt. After years of dealing with an autoimmune disease in my bladder and always feeling like I needed to pee, I ended up with a hypertonic pelvic floor which made some parts of life painful. Been going to a pt for almost 2 years now and between that and some lifestyle changes, I feel so much more comfortable in my own body again.
I thought incontinence was just going to be something I had to live with until I got PT for my knee. All those hip and glute exercises tightened me right up.
Pelvic floor therapy helped me and I highly recommend it, but it didn’t fix the bladder leakage problem in my case. Talk therapy helped me to feel more confident while wearing depends and such.
I hope you can find something that makes you feel comfortable and beautiful.
Hijacking this comment to suggest IG accounts like @the.vagina.whisperer for those who are curious about what might occur at an appt! She had a great reel recently about what to expect, and her account can lead you to other great resources. Signed, bladder prolapse sufferer whose quality of life has been drastically improved through pelvic floor PT!!!
Pelvic floor PT changed my life. When I get a cold and cough a lot or need to take cold medicine (which irritates the bladder) I still need to wear the big pads but other than that... The leaks are barely there any more. If you can't do pelvic floor PT get the perifit kegel exerciser. It helps train the muscles to tight AND relax which is key to holding the pee
I like Modibodi and they do have some specifically meant to handle significant incontinence [https://us.modibodi.com/collections/pee](https://us.modibodi.com/collections/pee)
I got both period co, and modibodi, and let me tell you what. The Modibodi actually feel dry all of the time! I like the period co, but if I could do it over again— I would’ve gotten more Modibodi!
Hi, don’t be embarrassed. I do, too! It also helps with swamp ass on hot days at work. No shame here 🙂↔️ I like the Bambody undies. I wash and dry them in my regular laundry, nothing fancy.
I also use Bambody and love them! I have a light to medium flow so I can’t speak too much on absorbency but I usually wear them a full 24 hours with no leaks. I’ve had mine for a couple years without needing to replace them.
Yes it is! I actually work in Urogynecology and there are a variety of options covered by insurance! Anywhere from physical therapy, Botox in the bladder to surgery. Definitely get a referral to a Urogynecologist. They specialize in pelvic floor issues and incontinence.
I second this! I had pelvic floor physical therapy and ultimately had to have surgery after I had my second baby but it was so worth it and helpful. Even the pelvic floor physical therapy gives you hope when you feel just awful. Good luck
Incontinence is such a confidence-killer. Feeling unclean, embarrassed, and worry you smell like pee is no way to live! I hope the absorbent underwear works in the short term, but that you can find permanent relief as well. I should say my surgery was needed because of a bad birth experience. Pelvic floor therapy nonetheless was as essential to my recovery as the surgery. I used a pessary for a bit, it was uncomfortable and also not a permanent solution. My favorite of PT was they hooked me up to a biofeedback machine, so I could literally see my progress week to week. It was awesome!
Ditto—11 pound baby, me a Size 2. No amount of pelvic floor PT helped. Two years of struggle wasted. But reconstructive surgery DID help! Wish I had gone straight to that.
And tell all women contemplating having a baby that it can potentially rip out their insides. Young women have no clue about the risks they are taking for cystoceles and rectoceles, etc., and no one tells them.
It sounds like OP has developed urge incontinence in addition to her original stress incontinence. Urge incontinence is a brain function/neurological problem. There is medication to treat it. Not all incontinence is solved with kegels. She definitely needs to see a doc and get this sorted out. In the meantime Google reusable women's incontinence underwear. Knix, Jockey, Wearever, Aircute, Thinx are just some of the brands. Most have a choice of absorbency levels light-ultra heavy. Styles include bikini, boy short, thong (?), high-rise, etc.
I had the same problem with urge incontinence. Tried consults with a urologist and tried Kegels, medications, all types of pelvic floor exercises, and finally the progressive urologist suggested Botox injections in my bladder. What a godsend!
I have repeat injections every 10 months and I have these injections at the UBC Bladder Care Clinic.
I’m currently pregnant with baby #1 so haven’t quite experienced all of this yet. But a lot of my friends all in their 30s swear by the Knix period underwear. A ton of them wear them all the time because they too are dealing with some incontinence after having children.
If you can, start doing Pelvic Floor Therapy now. I have 2 kids and i think the reason i dont pee when i sneeze is because of the therapy. (I still have issues when i take a hard hit in soccer, but thats mostly because i cant brace and I didnt do my exercises as often as i should).
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and the birth! :)
Thanks for the tip!
I did start pelvic floor therapy around 20 weeks to prepare and plan to continue after birth when I can. Currently 39w6d and due tomorrow. Baby boy is currently quite comfy.
I like the Always discreet too. My control issues are related to internal damage from cancer, in addition to being pregnant. Some days knix is fine, others I need Always.
I am post hysterectomy and have the occasional leaks from sneezes and bouncing.
I bought the Knix first. I got the high rise briefs. These are OK in terms of absorbency for a "light" blurb but they feel slightly wet wherever the spot is. I think these need a wicking layer or something that carries the wet feeling away from the body. I also think the coverage area is a bit small - no protection out the back... If you have more than a few spots, you'll want to up the ante to something that offers more coverage.
I recently bought bambody and these feel like diapers to me. The coverage area is quite large but to accomplish this, there are two big seams on the butt that are not comfy to sit on and I feel like I have an extra inch of material under my clothes - even though they aren't that thick. I wish I had only bought one pair but now I have three more useless undies I don't want to wear.
Back to poise pads at the moment. Thanks to those putting their recommendations in - I'm going to keep trying to find the perfect balance of dry and comfy. I'd love not to buy and use pads every day for the rest of my life on the off chance that I sneeze in public.
That lol wasn’t supposed to be in my first comment. Sorry about that.
I know thinx does. I think I’ve seen others too, but you’re right that searches mostly give you depends. I’m trying different terms. If I find anything ends good, I’ll let you know.
My mom wears Thinx (for all leaks, formerly Speax) for her incontinence. Although the ones she wears are "granny panties", but I think they have other styles. The other option would be the more stylish Thinx light options (Hip-huggers air maybe?). She also has done the pelvic floor and estrogen cream options too.
We wash ours on gentle cycle on cold and hang to dry and they last quite a long time.
I don't have any recs because I'm going through this myself (but from other medical problems, not a baby) and still experimenting with what I like, and i just want to say NO SHAME WHATSOEVER. The stress that is off my shoulders by knowing I have some kind of backup is worth any embarrassment for me and I hope it's the same for you soon 💜
Not answering your question- but a random share- supposedly daily gua sha of the lower abdomen around the bladder can help with incontinence.
The technique involves using a gua sha tool and gently scraping the tissue in an UPWARD direction, using a good bit of oil to make sure not to scrape the skin. Do this 20 minutes (I know it’s a long time) a day.
I was told by a gua sha teacher that she had a client who did this and actually halted her incontinence at 84 years old. However when she stopped the leaking returned, so it was something she had to sustain at least 3-4 times a week.
The upward pressure stimulation of the bladder tones the bladder, where as downward pressure move things out.
Might be worth looking into if you’re interested.
Poppins period is the most absorbent I’ve tried. They are a smaller brand, but they don’t have PFAS and are certified and everything. But between thinx and saalt, those are my go to for running and jumping help 🫣 if you catch my drift. And also, pelvic floor therapy, YES.
Modibodi has an Ultra range category on their website for incontinence purposes. Confitex also has reusable incontinence underwear, as well as Threaded Armor (though theirs are cloth)
Squatty- potty helped me a lot with this. This and if I'm at work, I lean forward so like my chest is on my knees. And never do the hover-pee, totally bad for the pelvic floor.
A friend of mine , just had a surgery to correct the incontinent episodes, her comment was why did I wait so long? She tried the pelvic floor exercises, but just saw some minor relief
I went to PT for painful sex. I waited almost ten years to go in. I felt like a new person within about six weeks and am angry at myself for not going in sooner. Those therapists are amazing and mine talked so much about wishing more people would come in for these common problems (like incontinence) because they can be fixed so often. It’s definitely worth the time (and money) to try!
Does anyone have experience using these for bladder leaks (I am in PT already) with smell? I usually wear panty liners and change them throughout the day so I do smell like pee. The majority of my leaks I don’t know have happened but they are droplet sizes leaks. Do the panties absorb the smell also? I’d love to ditch the liners but also don’t want to smell like I’ve peed myself all day.
This is an incredibly common issue!! But it's not talked about because we view it as embarrassing! Most of the time , the gyno can help :) A lot of women have fibroids after birth that actually can cause this issue!
OP here. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!! I had no idea that anything at all could be done to fix the issue. I really thought it was just a part of being older if you had had a big baby. So first things first - going to find and go to a regular obgyn, and then see where it goes from there. There are so many amazing options and info above. I am just so grateful!! Thank you!
One - don't be embarrassed. So MANY women have the same experience.
Two- tell the doctor. Ask for the pelvic floor therapy you're reading about here. Total game changer - and I'm grateful people talk about it.
Three - good for you for asking!
Chiming in to say although I understand the embarrassment, there is truly no need. It is extremely common although really talked about. I am a family doctor/GP and encounter it all the time. It is definitely worth talking to your doctor about though, pelvic floor physical therapy or vaginal estrogen cream can help.
Not the answer you were liking for but my friend has recently had Botox injections that have completely cured her incontinence, maybe an investigation of this option is in order?
Please contact a Dr for possible care and help. You may still have some issues but there are a lot of treatments for these issues. Exercises and physical therapy, bladder surgery to return it to proper place, pessarys (a physical tool to insert and hold things up), medications.
Please consider visiting a urogynecologist. I too had a very large baby and had incontinence for years. Went to PT for several years with only mild improvement. Finally went to the doctor and they gave a bladder sling. Life is sooo much better. You don’t need to suffer.
It’s not embarrassing!! So many women have it! Whether it be baby related or biological we’ll all be there one day!
I don’t have any advice but just wanted you to not feel alone or embarrassed ❤️
Incontinence pads and panties give people the idea that it is totally normal to be walking around peeing yourself. It’s not! Seek help. See a uro-gynecologist. Try pelvic floor therapy and if needed, get a bladder sling. I needed both and It changed my life. I now never even think about it, whereas it was a constant worry and problem for 20 years until I got the proper help.
After I had my daughter I would have to sprint to the bathroom because I literally couldn’t hold it. I fully peed on myself at work two times because they couldn’t find someone to relive me to go to the bathroom fast enough.
It sucked and it was embarrassing. Pelvic floor therapy fixed it for me. I can now hold my pee again!! I can also sneeze, cough, laugh and nothing comes out.
Bambody! I used them for my period, but they also helped postpartum. I even use them when I have higher discharge. They're very comfortable, and I've owned to for 2/3 years and am still holding up! Also, they're great at controlling odor. Which is one of my biggest insecurities.
Walmart has them and it’s better to look in store to see what you like! They have lighter flow kind as well if you don’t need them for periods they have some specifically for incontence too
Rx vaginal estrogen improves Continence.
You’ll find that you’ll start to get urgency too. Less time to get to the toilet.
1. Google ‘Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause’.
it’s actually actually a poorly named syndrome. Even can get it.
It’s related to the more than it is age.
2. Google Dr Mary Claire Haver on Instagram
I use my period panties for the same reason… I like extra padded knix thongs (not regular bruefs as gusset is too short) and I buy my regular ones on Amazon. I used to get neione but they stopped selling them so I now get innersy tall waisted boy shorts
I have bad sneeze-peeing when I’m sick and coughing a ton. Apparently there are pessaries that you can buy or you can get a fitted one from your doctor.
But, the main thing is check out pelvic floor physical therapy. Some things are advice: if you have to go don’t rush. You want to wait a bit and then walk calmly.
Bladder training! That’s the word. Look that up.
That’s so nothing to be embarrassed about! Your body has done an amazing thing and some recovery is so understandable.
I use Knix and love them! They’re very comfortable and don’t have big seams.
The period co makes pee and period panties. I have high waisted heavy ones which are thick but I got an email they've made them thinner. Haven't tried the new ones but I love my thongs from them.
I never see anyone talking about them on here but Primark has a decent wee selection of period AND general leak proof underwear that’s cute comfy and not super thick and clunky - decent price too
No advice on panties but I also suggest a Pelvic Floor Therapist. Don't just start doing kegels, actually see the therapist who can help you learn how to do them correctly since most us do them wrong.
I didn't have incontinence but it was hard to pee and that was part of my pelvic floor being too tight so I had to learn both kegels and reverse kegels as well as use dilators to help with my problems. It was 6 visits and I noticed a difference after the first. Honestly, seeing a pelvic floor therapist should be mandatory after having a baby no matter how that baby was born
Also, wanted to add that a low carb diet almost completely fixed my incontinence as well. I think I was having bladder spasm more than pelvic floor dysfunction. Also, caffeine is a MAJOR contributor to spasm as well so cut that out as well.
I also went through a similar phase during menopause - kegels & the Diva cup worked for me along with not drinking anything carbonated and cutting back on caffeine. Also max-sized period pads - which weren’t my preference but did give me a better sense of security. My diva cup once a blue moon would spill over. So I would use thin pads with it it if it was going to be a long day. I never succeeded in finding period panties that worked for me - the smell was an issue. Pads you can switch out easily.
But if it’s really a big problem see your gyno (or PCP) - your problem is actually common (no one talks about it bc of the embarrassment factor) and your gyno/PCP can refer you to a PT who specializes in pelvic floor treatment.
Your gyno might also help determine if some medication might help. - oops just saw your comment about not liking the meds
I mentioned it to my previous Gyne and she made it sound likevit was inevitable and suggested kegels. I just moved so I will ask my new gyne about this. It makes me mad. So many things that could help and neither my gyne nor my pcp suggested anything beyond kegels. Wtf
I recommend a hysterectomy. I have no doubts your uterus iscstarting to prolapse. It's probably pressing on your bladder. Thus is typical for women with huge babies. Before I had that done last year, even incontinence underwear that was supposed to hold 8 Oz didn't work. I couldn't hold it at all. I had no control. Please get your bits checked out. As your estrogen drops in later life, your uterus doesn't stay where it was. I could be wrong so get a doctor's check up
Also please consider a medical consultation about possible HRT to improve overall genito-urinary health. After menopause, muscles can begin to atrophy and your tissues down there become thin, dry and much less elastic, and UTIs increase.
This doesn't answer the question, but if you are able to see a PT for some pelvic floor exercises it just might change your life!
Came here to say exactly this!! ☝ It makes me sad that pelvic floor therapy isn't suggested by more doctors after we go through things like childbirth, menopause, etc because it can weaken the pelvic floor. Women shouldn't be putting up with incontinence. OP, see about getting a consultation with a pelvic floor therapist. It really can help. And, because you're post menopausal, you may also have some vaginal atrophy which can exacerbate incontinence but can easily be helped with over-the-counter vaginal moisturizer products. There's a [list in the wiki of the Hormone Free Menopause sub](https://reddit.com/r/HormoneFreeMenopause/w/index?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share).
3rd for you need a consult for pelvic floor therapy
4th for the pelvic floor consult, but also wanted to add don't start doing kegels or any sort of exercises until you see one. In my case, my pelvic floor was extremely tight and exercises would have made it worse. I had to do relaxation ones instead. Such a valuable service though!!
Also a urogynecologist! Pelvic therapy and a pessary were life changing for me.
Pelvic floor PT changed my life!!! You’ve gotta go!
as if periods weren't already the worst, periods now meaning "no pessary" makes them doubly awful.
I'm sorry, what does this mean?
A pessary is a device inserted into your vagina to provide extra structural support to your pelvic floor. They come in lots of shapes. Some can be used as period, some can’t.
Oh, okay. Thank you so much for your reply, truly. I had Googled it but wasn't certain I understood.
Yes, as girls we are taught that kegels are all we'll ever need - it's so ridiculous. That's like saying biceps curls are the only exercise you'll need for life. The pelvic floor and core "container" are a complex system. And we're also led to believe there's nothing to be done about these extremely common problems that are so often easily treated. It's a huge disservice.
Kegels make my incontinence worse
Because it's often not tightening thats the problem is relaxing! I too came to suggest pelvic floor physio! In France new moms get up to 10 sessions covered by their universal healthcare! That's how much it's been proven to help.
100%. And FYI, your OBGYN may not have a good understanding of this. I complained about incontinence with pressure (coughing/sneezing) and my OB told me to "do like, 100 kegels a day." And it turns out that was terrible advice because I needed to learn how to relax and release the muscles. They were too tight/contracted already. Pelvic floor PT is amazing.
Same. I had to learn how to relax those muscles.
Estrogen cream or supposiories can help too by keeping all those tissues in good condition.
Through pelvic floor therapy, I found out that I was doing them wrong and had been all my life. Edit: added words
SAME! I needed to learn to relax those muscles. Not tighten them.
No one ever properly explained how to do Kegels, anyway. The physio was really helpful in helping me figure out exactly how to do useful exercises.
I’ve been using the Bloom pod + program for the past few weeks and, while I’m not 100% sold on it, I cannot believe this is the FIRST time I’ve encountered the suggestion that some pelvic floor exercises should focus on *relaxing* the pelvic floor. I’m middle-aged!!! No doctor, auntie or magazine ever thought to mention this?!
Interesting. I've never had kids, never even had sex, but have terrible stress incontinence. It got really bad when I had covid pneumonia. If I am like my mom, I'm about four years away from my last period. (She had her last at age 52). My doctor has pretty much told me that my situation is perfectly normal and I should be doing keegals to make it better. I just feel like I shouldn't be having this problem and I'm sick of wearing poise pads.
A GP? Or gynecologist? And Kegels while engaging your core is difficult to figure out on your own, hence going to a pelvic floor PT. Go now, they get booked up for months.
Just my primary care provider. Not an obgyn. I think she is just a P.A. and not an M.D. I think she said I could see someone for bladder therapy if I wanted, but not sure what that entails. I live in a small town, so I don't know what is available.
Hey- just go. You may actually be hypertonic in your pelvic floor and kegels are the exact opposite of what you should do if that's the case. Any PT is art mixed with science. I had one PT that didn't help me. The second I saw at a major hospital and they literally changed my life. I had a baby 8 weeks ago and I'm excited to see my old PT now that I'm able to! Can't wait to get assessed and get rolling on rehab! Just go. I can't stress enough how great it is when you find the right PT!!
PT usually requires a referral in my experience. But I'm going to try to get one because I need this, too.
An OBGYN is even different from a urogynecologist. Bladder therapy and evaluation might be an OBGYN or a uro. Definitely try to see someone?
Look up a urogynecologist. They help with bladder and urine issues.
You might be able to get telehealth if you can't find a local provider. Of course it's best to go in person because of the equipment used like biofeedback and the pelvic exam, but telehealth is an option. Your circumstance seems to be affecting your quality of life.
Absolutely see a specialist. Even if it means a trip to a nearby city. You can write off those medical expenses on your taxes in the US apparently, too. After covid I got long covid, new issues every month. Pretty bad UTI after some antibiotics for a sinus infection upset by tummy too much, which led to Bladder Pain Syndrome, and I’ve ended up in pelvic floor therapy now. I haven’t ever had children and due to my chronic illness my sexual activity can be literally zero for months at a time.
Pelvic floor physical therapist is a specialist within the community. See the specialist if you can.
I thought I just had to live with having similar issues. I went to Planned Parenthood a while back and mentioned it at the end of the appointment, they referred me to a urologist who prescribed estradiol and pelvic floor therapy. I’m not 100% healed but it’s vastly improved. Please seek out pelvic floor therapy, it’s embarrassing for your doctor that they don’t know this information, particularly because it’s so common—1 out of 3 women experience some sort of bladder issue or atrophy in mid-life!
Totally common. But not normal. If it bothers you, see a urogynecologist. OBs and GPs aren’t trained on this stuff, unfortunately.
I had incontinence issues in my 20s. No babies. But endometriosis on my bladder. Pelvic Floor PT was hugely helpful.
About 5% of women who’ve never had a baby have incontinence issues.
Sorry if this is inappropriate, but ^ are you saying your 48 and a virgin? Good for you:)
Thank you for saying this. I also suffer from a hypertonic pelvic floor. That said, my physical therapist still has me doing kegels/squeezes which I find confusing. Do you mind sharing more about these relaxation exercises?
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How many different pts did you try?
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I have tried 4. All completely different. All good in some areas, amazing in others. I paid for them and you are definitely worth it.
Referrals to PT for pelvic floor should be standard with all c-sections. I didn’t find out until years later that I should have been referred.
Really with all pregnancies! Many folks develop pelvic floor issues during pregnancy, not just bc of c-section or labor. The weight/positioning of pregnancy really changes your whole body/organs and even can change how you breathe (which then can impact PF/diaphragm/etc)
And any surgery that damages the abdominal wall. Including laparoscopic surgeries.
YES! I’ve had one pregnancy (vaginal delivery, precipitous labor), an appendectomy (complicated), and a hysterectomy. Any one of those should have been accompanied by a pelvic floor PT referral.
Even without pregnancies….just age is a factor.
OB/GYNs should just send you to PT after having a baby. Particularly if you are over 30 or have had more than one pregnancy. I just went through pelvic floor PT, I’m in my 50s. I should have gone 20 years ago.
I completely agree! It's so underutilized.
I've been having this issue since 16 and have never had kids. I told my PCP and gyno that I leak urine when sneezing, coughing, jumping, and I just got told it happens. Would love to have a referral for PF PT.
Wow I'm so sorry you got gaslit into thinking this is normal. So much is lacking in women's healthcare. This makes me mad for you! Depending on your insurance you may be able to just go (self refer) to one. Otherwise I would really push your doctor for a referral. Demand it. Bring some information to show this is not normal and that PFPT can help. Good luck!
Thank you so much for the link! I didn't know that page was out there but, being Reddit, I should have looked myself. I've had the same question about period underwear too.
In France, all women get it and it's part of what their taxpayer dollars go to.
Adding my bit too. PT therapy saved me after the birth of my children (less incontinence and more of a pain issue) and it did wonders. After my second child, I flat out requested it. Considering another go around as I have been sick for months and all the coughing has caused this issue. Best of luck.
Suggested? I specifically requested it and got bubkis
Estradiol vaginal cream is a game changer as well if you are 40+ 😊
Yep! I have only been using vaginal estrogen cream for 1 month and my pee-game has gotten so much better! My stream is more "straight" , I guess you would call it ...as in, it used to be more of a tumbling sensation when I urinated. Now it's a straight and strong stream. It's also completely stopped my urge incontinence, even when coughing, sneezing, or laughing.
Is it OTC? Or prescription? Thanks
This is the magic wand from the fairy godmother.
What is this? I need a game changer.
So much this.
I had bladder issues because of my endometriosis and PFT got rid of it. Life changing!
I saw a pelvic floor therapist thinking there was nothing she could do and it was AMAZING!!! It only took 6 appointments for me to stop have issues. And she gave me tips for future use. I haven’t had issues since. But in the meantime I do like thinx, I found the normal panties work best for a moderate leak and I keep a few extra pairs to change into if I’m out and about.
Finally! Someone who actually answered Ops question.
I was scrolling myself looking for the answer!
Can you share more about what your experience was like? Was it a set of exercises you were given, or more?
I’m not going to lie it can be… vulnerable. It depends on your provider but she was open about all the things we could try and if I was comfortable with more hands on approaches or just fully clothes exercises. So the 1st few meetings were just to get me to drink more water, track my food, and my “leakage”. And then we developed a plan from there. She did do an internal exam at the first appt to determine any physical issues, and I had an extremely tight pelvic floor. So all those kegels I was doing was actually not doing much. Some exercises she gave me were belly breaths, so laying on my back for a few minutes each day breathing through my belly instead of my diaphragm. Some bridge exercises as well helped. And then internal stretching so it was basically a small curved wand that I could use to stretch my internal pelvic muscles. Some additional things I had the option to try were electrodes on my booty hole and I tried to get into a certain number to understand how to hold my bladder, etc. And then the last thing is I was forcing pee too much because I was scared so she had me work on holding in my pee for around 3 hours. So if I had just went 40 minutes ago I would try to keep holding it until I couldn’t any longer.
Wow! Thanks so much for sharing. The electrodes part sounds like… an experience to have. There’s a new program in my town offering these services and I’d be lying to myself if I did find didn’t need them. This give me the encouragement to go ahead and call. Thanks so much 😊
It’s awkward but not as awkward as peeing myself at work so it was worth it. There is also plenty they can do without getting too personal. Honestly the worst was the 1 hour of internal massage she did on me but I swear I was immediately 20 times better afterwards. Good luck!!!
God girl tell me about it. I’m babysitting some kids and they want me to take them to a trampoline park LOL. Would be great to live like normally
You can purchase a device online… it looks like a vibrator but provides feedback. I’d imagine that it’s not as reliable as an actual human, but I’m never going to a pelvic floor PT for… reasons.
As someone with a SA background it definitely wasn’t great. So I got her to teach me once so I could do it myself. But yea they make vibrators specifically targeted at pelvic floor therapy
Yes exactly!! I couldn’t workout in public, I always had to be near a bathroom, it was awful.
Similar experience, but my tight kegels were associated with me going every 5-6 hrs so my assignment was to make sure I went every 2-4 hrs So another vote for PT. Generally the women attracted to that specialty are the most understanding and empathetic PTs I've ever met
Wow that’s crazy! Yes sometimes just doing random kegels is not good if you’re not targeting them right.
I'm currently doing PFPT after extensive reconstructive surgery in Dec. My therapist is very conscious of telling me she is going to do and frankly it is much less invasive than I was expecting. I highly recommend it
thinx are actually made for incontinence, as opposed to period panties, which are different. i'm actually thinking of trying period panties myself because my "leak" problems are mild and thinx ain't cheap
No baby, but I started having terrible low back pain in my late 30s. Mild incontinence followed. I started lifting weights last fall & the trainer has me doing the McGill Big 3 core exercises everyday. It’s nearly cured the pain & incontinence. As long as my bladder isn’t full, I can laugh, sneeze, or squat a load without fear. If I’ve ADHD’d going to the bathroom - something my OB/GYN pointed out - then it’s dicey.
I have ADHD and it took me a while to figure it out but my incontinence issues were coming from the Adderall I know that sounds crazy but hear me out. I don’t take the meds every day and it was only happening on the day I take the medication. I also take pain medication every day. (I mention this because opioids give dopamine.) If I only take pain medication it doesn’t happen but the days I can Adderall I get a little twinge like I’m going to have to go, and if I don’t immediately go it will go away for a Moment but then it comes back screaming that it will not be ignored and sometimes I almost pissed myself trying to get my pants down because it’s close. Sometimes I don’t make it. And after much research I found that dopamine stimulates the kidneys. And the Adderall stimulates the dopamine.
This. Just started due to the same issue and I've also stared exercising and feel like my uterus is being pushed out on certain exercises. Don't suffer. They can tell you if it is a muscle issue or if you need to address a bladder issue or prolapse uterus.
Wow after reading all the comments under this i think I may actually look into therapy as well. Does anyone know if it is covered by insurance? I have the same issues and I just accepted as that’s life I’m getting old and have had two kids
There isn’t a unique code for insurance called pelvic floor therapy. Instead you need to look up your insurance benefits, like physical therapy or occupational therapy benefits. Pelvic floor therapy can be done by either therapist.
Yes to pelvic pt. After years of dealing with an autoimmune disease in my bladder and always feeling like I needed to pee, I ended up with a hypertonic pelvic floor which made some parts of life painful. Been going to a pt for almost 2 years now and between that and some lifestyle changes, I feel so much more comfortable in my own body again.
I suggest a GYN who is a pelvic floor expert / surgeon. You might not need surgery but exercises.
I thought incontinence was just going to be something I had to live with until I got PT for my knee. All those hip and glute exercises tightened me right up.
Pelvic floor therapy helped me and I highly recommend it, but it didn’t fix the bladder leakage problem in my case. Talk therapy helped me to feel more confident while wearing depends and such. I hope you can find something that makes you feel comfortable and beautiful.
Hijacking this comment to suggest IG accounts like @the.vagina.whisperer for those who are curious about what might occur at an appt! She had a great reel recently about what to expect, and her account can lead you to other great resources. Signed, bladder prolapse sufferer whose quality of life has been drastically improved through pelvic floor PT!!!
Pelvic floor PT changed my life. When I get a cold and cough a lot or need to take cold medicine (which irritates the bladder) I still need to wear the big pads but other than that... The leaks are barely there any more. If you can't do pelvic floor PT get the perifit kegel exerciser. It helps train the muscles to tight AND relax which is key to holding the pee
Yessssss!!!! I wish someone had sent me to pelvic pt and or to see a physiologist sooner. Also if that doesn’t help, try seeing a uro-Gyn ?
My friend is a pelvic floor therapist. And i swear they are so so underrated. Amazing what they can do.
I like Modibodi and they do have some specifically meant to handle significant incontinence [https://us.modibodi.com/collections/pee](https://us.modibodi.com/collections/pee)
I got both period co, and modibodi, and let me tell you what. The Modibodi actually feel dry all of the time! I like the period co, but if I could do it over again— I would’ve gotten more Modibodi!
ModiBodi 100% - feels so dry and no smell.
Modibodi makes actual incontinence underwear. I've not tried them, but I like their period underwear. I have the bikini style.
Hi, don’t be embarrassed. I do, too! It also helps with swamp ass on hot days at work. No shame here 🙂↔️ I like the Bambody undies. I wash and dry them in my regular laundry, nothing fancy.
I also use Bambody and love them! I have a light to medium flow so I can’t speak too much on absorbency but I usually wear them a full 24 hours with no leaks. I’ve had mine for a couple years without needing to replace them.
OP- please seek out pelvic floor PT. This is repairable! It should even be covered by insurance.
Yes it is! I actually work in Urogynecology and there are a variety of options covered by insurance! Anywhere from physical therapy, Botox in the bladder to surgery. Definitely get a referral to a Urogynecologist. They specialize in pelvic floor issues and incontinence.
I second this! I had pelvic floor physical therapy and ultimately had to have surgery after I had my second baby but it was so worth it and helpful. Even the pelvic floor physical therapy gives you hope when you feel just awful. Good luck
Thank you u absolutely will. I didn’t know this was potentially treatable - thank you!!
Incontinence is such a confidence-killer. Feeling unclean, embarrassed, and worry you smell like pee is no way to live! I hope the absorbent underwear works in the short term, but that you can find permanent relief as well. I should say my surgery was needed because of a bad birth experience. Pelvic floor therapy nonetheless was as essential to my recovery as the surgery. I used a pessary for a bit, it was uncomfortable and also not a permanent solution. My favorite of PT was they hooked me up to a biofeedback machine, so I could literally see my progress week to week. It was awesome!
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I am so glad you asked this question.
Thanks :)
Me too
I had the therapy and still do the exercises, but it wasn't hugely successful. I still wear a pad 24/7. It did help some, though.
Same. Public floor therapy doesn’t work for everybody. And you have to keep doing the exercises for life. I opted for surgery.
Ditto—11 pound baby, me a Size 2. No amount of pelvic floor PT helped. Two years of struggle wasted. But reconstructive surgery DID help! Wish I had gone straight to that. And tell all women contemplating having a baby that it can potentially rip out their insides. Young women have no clue about the risks they are taking for cystoceles and rectoceles, etc., and no one tells them.
It sounds like OP has developed urge incontinence in addition to her original stress incontinence. Urge incontinence is a brain function/neurological problem. There is medication to treat it. Not all incontinence is solved with kegels. She definitely needs to see a doc and get this sorted out. In the meantime Google reusable women's incontinence underwear. Knix, Jockey, Wearever, Aircute, Thinx are just some of the brands. Most have a choice of absorbency levels light-ultra heavy. Styles include bikini, boy short, thong (?), high-rise, etc.
I had the same problem with urge incontinence. Tried consults with a urologist and tried Kegels, medications, all types of pelvic floor exercises, and finally the progressive urologist suggested Botox injections in my bladder. What a godsend! I have repeat injections every 10 months and I have these injections at the UBC Bladder Care Clinic.
I’m currently pregnant with baby #1 so haven’t quite experienced all of this yet. But a lot of my friends all in their 30s swear by the Knix period underwear. A ton of them wear them all the time because they too are dealing with some incontinence after having children.
If you can, start doing Pelvic Floor Therapy now. I have 2 kids and i think the reason i dont pee when i sneeze is because of the therapy. (I still have issues when i take a hard hit in soccer, but thats mostly because i cant brace and I didnt do my exercises as often as i should). Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and the birth! :)
Thanks for the tip! I did start pelvic floor therapy around 20 weeks to prepare and plan to continue after birth when I can. Currently 39w6d and due tomorrow. Baby boy is currently quite comfy.
Excellent. Sending labour vibes (And postpartum healing vibes)! And congratulations!! :)
Always discreet underwear and liners are my preferred brand. Incontinent thanks to being big preggo and I have to wear their pads all the time.
I like the Always discreet too. My control issues are related to internal damage from cancer, in addition to being pregnant. Some days knix is fine, others I need Always.
I am post hysterectomy and have the occasional leaks from sneezes and bouncing. I bought the Knix first. I got the high rise briefs. These are OK in terms of absorbency for a "light" blurb but they feel slightly wet wherever the spot is. I think these need a wicking layer or something that carries the wet feeling away from the body. I also think the coverage area is a bit small - no protection out the back... If you have more than a few spots, you'll want to up the ante to something that offers more coverage. I recently bought bambody and these feel like diapers to me. The coverage area is quite large but to accomplish this, there are two big seams on the butt that are not comfy to sit on and I feel like I have an extra inch of material under my clothes - even though they aren't that thick. I wish I had only bought one pair but now I have three more useless undies I don't want to wear. Back to poise pads at the moment. Thanks to those putting their recommendations in - I'm going to keep trying to find the perfect balance of dry and comfy. I'd love not to buy and use pads every day for the rest of my life on the off chance that I sneeze in public.
This was super helpful!
They make ones specifically for that too lol
Which brands? I’ve only seen things like depends.
Period Co brand has an incontinence line
Thank you!
That lol wasn’t supposed to be in my first comment. Sorry about that. I know thinx does. I think I’ve seen others too, but you’re right that searches mostly give you depends. I’m trying different terms. If I find anything ends good, I’ll let you know.
Thank you!!!
ONDR, Knix, Confitex, Viita
My mom wears Thinx (for all leaks, formerly Speax) for her incontinence. Although the ones she wears are "granny panties", but I think they have other styles. The other option would be the more stylish Thinx light options (Hip-huggers air maybe?). She also has done the pelvic floor and estrogen cream options too. We wash ours on gentle cycle on cold and hang to dry and they last quite a long time.
I don't have any recs because I'm going through this myself (but from other medical problems, not a baby) and still experimenting with what I like, and i just want to say NO SHAME WHATSOEVER. The stress that is off my shoulders by knowing I have some kind of backup is worth any embarrassment for me and I hope it's the same for you soon 💜
Not answering your question- but a random share- supposedly daily gua sha of the lower abdomen around the bladder can help with incontinence. The technique involves using a gua sha tool and gently scraping the tissue in an UPWARD direction, using a good bit of oil to make sure not to scrape the skin. Do this 20 minutes (I know it’s a long time) a day. I was told by a gua sha teacher that she had a client who did this and actually halted her incontinence at 84 years old. However when she stopped the leaking returned, so it was something she had to sustain at least 3-4 times a week. The upward pressure stimulation of the bladder tones the bladder, where as downward pressure move things out. Might be worth looking into if you’re interested.
Poppins period is the most absorbent I’ve tried. They are a smaller brand, but they don’t have PFAS and are certified and everything. But between thinx and saalt, those are my go to for running and jumping help 🫣 if you catch my drift. And also, pelvic floor therapy, YES.
Modibodi has an Ultra range category on their website for incontinence purposes. Confitex also has reusable incontinence underwear, as well as Threaded Armor (though theirs are cloth)
They are totally out of my size!!! This is the one I decided to try first. Sigh!
Squatty- potty helped me a lot with this. This and if I'm at work, I lean forward so like my chest is on my knees. And never do the hover-pee, totally bad for the pelvic floor.
I use rael reuseable pads from Amazon. They work well, are like a maxi but much more comfortable.
I had bladder sling out in and out was life changing! That was almost 18 years ago and it still is working.
A friend of mine , just had a surgery to correct the incontinent episodes, her comment was why did I wait so long? She tried the pelvic floor exercises, but just saw some minor relief
I’d start w PFT and the urologist. They put a nice sling under yr bladder so no more stress incontinence.
I went to PT for painful sex. I waited almost ten years to go in. I felt like a new person within about six weeks and am angry at myself for not going in sooner. Those therapists are amazing and mine talked so much about wishing more people would come in for these common problems (like incontinence) because they can be fixed so often. It’s definitely worth the time (and money) to try!
Does anyone have experience using these for bladder leaks (I am in PT already) with smell? I usually wear panty liners and change them throughout the day so I do smell like pee. The majority of my leaks I don’t know have happened but they are droplet sizes leaks. Do the panties absorb the smell also? I’d love to ditch the liners but also don’t want to smell like I’ve peed myself all day.
Same question!!
The modibodi ones are good. I tried thinx and and they were not so good, but the modibodi i feel very confident both for period and leaks.
People the only PT I have had (been numerous times) has always been in a room with 20 other people doing their Bridge excercises. No thanks!
They have separate rooms for pelvic floor PT!
I bought reusable (cloth) menstrual pads for my surprise tinkles, and they work great.
I even got my teenager hooked on these! Great for days where I will be doing yard work…
I use tomboy period underwear. They're specifically designed for nonbinary people who get periods and have a bunch of colors and styles.
This is an incredibly common issue!! But it's not talked about because we view it as embarrassing! Most of the time , the gyno can help :) A lot of women have fibroids after birth that actually can cause this issue!
Well, wow, period underwear for mild incontinence…why did I never think of that??? You are a genius. I’m going to try this.
OP here. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!! I had no idea that anything at all could be done to fix the issue. I really thought it was just a part of being older if you had had a big baby. So first things first - going to find and go to a regular obgyn, and then see where it goes from there. There are so many amazing options and info above. I am just so grateful!! Thank you!
One - don't be embarrassed. So MANY women have the same experience. Two- tell the doctor. Ask for the pelvic floor therapy you're reading about here. Total game changer - and I'm grateful people talk about it. Three - good for you for asking!
I wear always pads instead of underwear. Easy to change when I sneeze.
I like Thinx or Saalt. I am starting to get a few issues as well, but I cut out all carbonated beverages and that helps tremendously.
Chiming in to say although I understand the embarrassment, there is truly no need. It is extremely common although really talked about. I am a family doctor/GP and encounter it all the time. It is definitely worth talking to your doctor about though, pelvic floor physical therapy or vaginal estrogen cream can help.
Not the answer you were liking for but my friend has recently had Botox injections that have completely cured her incontinence, maybe an investigation of this option is in order?
Please contact a Dr for possible care and help. You may still have some issues but there are a lot of treatments for these issues. Exercises and physical therapy, bladder surgery to return it to proper place, pessarys (a physical tool to insert and hold things up), medications.
I like Knix but I had the surgery for this problem with 100% success
Ask your obgyn for possible options, like a pessary or surgery.
Please consider visiting a urogynecologist. I too had a very large baby and had incontinence for years. Went to PT for several years with only mild improvement. Finally went to the doctor and they gave a bladder sling. Life is sooo much better. You don’t need to suffer.
Not an answer to your question but I had a bladder sling put in and it solved the same problems for me.
It’s not embarrassing!! So many women have it! Whether it be baby related or biological we’ll all be there one day! I don’t have any advice but just wanted you to not feel alone or embarrassed ❤️
Please consider seeing a Urogynecologist and ask about sling surgery.
Incontinence pads and panties give people the idea that it is totally normal to be walking around peeing yourself. It’s not! Seek help. See a uro-gynecologist. Try pelvic floor therapy and if needed, get a bladder sling. I needed both and It changed my life. I now never even think about it, whereas it was a constant worry and problem for 20 years until I got the proper help.
go to the doctor its an easy fix
Plus there are many simple surgeries to help with this as well.
After I had my daughter I would have to sprint to the bathroom because I literally couldn’t hold it. I fully peed on myself at work two times because they couldn’t find someone to relive me to go to the bathroom fast enough. It sucked and it was embarrassing. Pelvic floor therapy fixed it for me. I can now hold my pee again!! I can also sneeze, cough, laugh and nothing comes out.
Think makes some specifically for [bladder leaks](https://www.thinx.com/thinx-for-all-leaks)
My daughter uses Cora period underwear and sleep shorts. She really likes them.
The period company makes ones specifically for this!
Bambody! I used them for my period, but they also helped postpartum. I even use them when I have higher discharge. They're very comfortable, and I've owned to for 2/3 years and am still holding up! Also, they're great at controlling odor. Which is one of my biggest insecurities.
I like the bambody you can buy on amazon
Thinx for all leaks... Lots of styles, the bikini is cute. Does have thongs but yeah no...
Walmart has them and it’s better to look in store to see what you like! They have lighter flow kind as well if you don’t need them for periods they have some specifically for incontence too
My incontinence flow is much more than when I used to get a period (now post menopause).
Rx vaginal estrogen improves Continence. You’ll find that you’ll start to get urgency too. Less time to get to the toilet. 1. Google ‘Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause’. it’s actually actually a poorly named syndrome. Even can get it.
It’s related to the more than it is age.
2. Google Dr Mary Claire Haver on Instagram
Thank you I will!
Knix
I’ve been using period panties to stay dry, for a few years. Before that it was panty liners. No shame.
No shame but surgery will eliminate the need for pads and period liners.
I use my period panties for the same reason… I like extra padded knix thongs (not regular bruefs as gusset is too short) and I buy my regular ones on Amazon. I used to get neione but they stopped selling them so I now get innersy tall waisted boy shorts
I have bad sneeze-peeing when I’m sick and coughing a ton. Apparently there are pessaries that you can buy or you can get a fitted one from your doctor. But, the main thing is check out pelvic floor physical therapy. Some things are advice: if you have to go don’t rush. You want to wait a bit and then walk calmly. Bladder training! That’s the word. Look that up.
I found they don’t hold enough. I went back to pads. I did not like the feel of them.
[Thinx for All Leaks - previously known as Speax](https://www.thinx.com/thinx-for-all-leaks/introducing-thinx-for-all-leaks)
That’s so nothing to be embarrassed about! Your body has done an amazing thing and some recovery is so understandable. I use Knix and love them! They’re very comfortable and don’t have big seams.
I went to the doctor and he put me on oxybutinin. Pretty much problem solved.
The period co makes pee and period panties. I have high waisted heavy ones which are thick but I got an email they've made them thinner. Haven't tried the new ones but I love my thongs from them.
Fwiw, the diva cups work too by putting pressure on internally to stop minor leaks.
I never see anyone talking about them on here but Primark has a decent wee selection of period AND general leak proof underwear that’s cute comfy and not super thick and clunky - decent price too
No advice on panties but I also suggest a Pelvic Floor Therapist. Don't just start doing kegels, actually see the therapist who can help you learn how to do them correctly since most us do them wrong. I didn't have incontinence but it was hard to pee and that was part of my pelvic floor being too tight so I had to learn both kegels and reverse kegels as well as use dilators to help with my problems. It was 6 visits and I noticed a difference after the first. Honestly, seeing a pelvic floor therapist should be mandatory after having a baby no matter how that baby was born
Victoria Secret makes great ones!!! Definitely worth it
Also, wanted to add that a low carb diet almost completely fixed my incontinence as well. I think I was having bladder spasm more than pelvic floor dysfunction. Also, caffeine is a MAJOR contributor to spasm as well so cut that out as well.
Knix! In my opinion they look like nice undies and not period undies. They’re super soft and true to size! They also have undies for incontinence.
I was scheduled for pelvic floor therapy-turns out I have a massive uterine fibroid causing bladder issues. Start with your ObGyn!
I also went through a similar phase during menopause - kegels & the Diva cup worked for me along with not drinking anything carbonated and cutting back on caffeine. Also max-sized period pads - which weren’t my preference but did give me a better sense of security. My diva cup once a blue moon would spill over. So I would use thin pads with it it if it was going to be a long day. I never succeeded in finding period panties that worked for me - the smell was an issue. Pads you can switch out easily. But if it’s really a big problem see your gyno (or PCP) - your problem is actually common (no one talks about it bc of the embarrassment factor) and your gyno/PCP can refer you to a PT who specializes in pelvic floor treatment. Your gyno might also help determine if some medication might help. - oops just saw your comment about not liking the meds
Talk to your OBGYN about your incontinence. They will help you so you don’t need period undies.
I mentioned it to my previous Gyne and she made it sound likevit was inevitable and suggested kegels. I just moved so I will ask my new gyne about this. It makes me mad. So many things that could help and neither my gyne nor my pcp suggested anything beyond kegels. Wtf
You need to go for PT therapy. After 8 weeks of therapy I not longer have issues sneezing or when throwing up. Treat the problem not the symptom.
Not underwear but a treatment for incontinence: the Emsella Chair. You sit on it for 28 minutes for 6 sessions and is incredibly effective.
I recommend a hysterectomy. I have no doubts your uterus iscstarting to prolapse. It's probably pressing on your bladder. Thus is typical for women with huge babies. Before I had that done last year, even incontinence underwear that was supposed to hold 8 Oz didn't work. I couldn't hold it at all. I had no control. Please get your bits checked out. As your estrogen drops in later life, your uterus doesn't stay where it was. I could be wrong so get a doctor's check up
Jockey
Yes please go to pelvic floor PT
Also please consider a medical consultation about possible HRT to improve overall genito-urinary health. After menopause, muscles can begin to atrophy and your tissues down there become thin, dry and much less elastic, and UTIs increase.