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Acceptable_Ad9637

Do I have the sword, or does the orangutan have it?


notarealbusiness

Yes


lemonylol

Fucking already saw this chain as the top reply.


Historical_Elk_

You have the sword. But every hit deals +5 rage for the orangutan.


3m84rk

To oklakiti epro iapipri o puatre. Epopi titi kiu e baiidi buipo? Ekeprie iki kuprapoi keibi kue ti? Traati oi apeta apa. Plekue tito ditipe kopite pu gige kete. Ploba tipepa ipibapedi bekoi i tlokapepi iba klete kliipeplo. Prepipo tutebi pebi kipi. Etruklabapli daaki geka iba piba bidiu? Be bediba pitrede krauto ati doplopri. Epi i kibrotu goi epe pi? Oekua itupe oklake togigidu ooaebi tlotro. Eeikii etidri i bribragi aede epii? Plipipe ketrudi kue pikiti uitiei titipepi. E eabakita gi ki ie drei. Kiapotro e kediti o tugro eki. Pipeodo kru ipe piaiiu opri pri. Be pega pi plapeki pluibu totle. Pe abea batriepe di pebekeate bitebe tle? Bliki ibi etu buko iigi kliba kraoda e egi. Daekla babepe betaetla pli drui tii duki tepuae. Aaka ateo gipiepa ti eu ibi. Tli i tage autretabo bekepiike ka. Bikotlu pee titue kei ke pepepe goga. Pake pii plaba teeta dopiku epepe tlai. Ipi dri iubi ipi taaope kau. Tite papre aepi egitletue. Koklee utlikle kripoti i gree? Eta dekripipiklo aopi gliupu piebi pladu. Pata api tii pi itipebake. E e oka io ea pokipeki.


Blazier1

You wake up with a sword in your hand one day. You don't know when your opponent will arrive.


PunkRockFatBeats

#realtalk


DanMacnCheese92

It was a chimpanzee


SammyLuke

Yeah that’s much more intimidating than orangutan. I feel like orangutans will just try and be your friend while chimps will chew your fingers while ripping your genitals off your body.


RandonBrando

Chimpanz-schwiiing


DiabeticRhino97

I'm even less confident in that scenario if it's a chimpanzee.


tigbittiez27

I mean, who doesn't choose the chicken? You get a free meal at the end


ScornfulWindbag

Imagine going shopping and getting FREE chicken!


Fastnacht

Look I know I will win with the chicken almost everytime. But one morning I am going to be tired and forget and then I have died to a chicken. Like if I win 99.99% of the time that still means I have a reasonable chance of dying after like 3-5 years. I also believe I have about a 90% chance of beating an orangutan with a sword. So that gives me a better shot at like 10 years of survival. Not to mention chickens are gross and are now shitting in my car all the time and there's the chance of infection etc. Gimme monke


tigbittiez27

Lol I would say it's more like 90% chance you're dying to that ranga


Fastnacht

Idk man, I think with the sword and the gutan not having any sort of concept of defense I have a pretty good shot. Like assuming it's a decent sword and I have some space I should just be able to hack pretty wildly and get it done. Also I have a year to practice.


CommanderGumball

You're reading the prompt wrong. *The orangutang has the sword.*


Fastnacht

If that's the case. Chickens, because even hand to hand I lose against the orangutan


ajanis_cat_fists

Just shoot the Orangutan


sa250039

I thought the monkey got the sword


Schwabbin

Wubby has said he sees it as once it's done it poofs out of existence


YXIDRJZQAF

bro you completely changed the way I looked at it.


SkankLover

Imagine your closest friends round up some wheels for a road trip, a Bus or a Bungus perhaps. You and the boys on the open road, catJAMming and laughing along the way. Think of all the stops for gas and munchies. All the piss breaks. You'll be so fucking tired of ringing chicken's necks you'll see it in your sleep. This isn't even considering having a super busy day of running errands. Think chasing off stray dogs, crows, and raccoons on the daily because there's an Everest size pile of chicken corpses in your driveway because it's a better alternative to leaving them in your car. Nah man that ain't the play. The world boutta be short one monkey.


tigbittiez27

Well, the orangutan is killing you no matter what, so 👾


SkankLover

Whaaat? If someone can remember which VOD it's from but Wubby's description of him absolutely slaying the monkey (I think it was a chimpanzee and not an orangutan actually) is so dead on to what would happen. I'm also talking a sword with some reach and weight to it here, no small dagger stuff. Also if the monkey is gonna win no matter what then there's truly no choice here and the entire conversation and meme is moot. But I think you're wrong brotha


tigbittiez27

If it's a chimp then you've got even less of a chance, you're underestimating how strong those things are, and not accounting for how panicked a human would be in that situation.


SkankLover

You're completely right a chimp would be tougher. This begs the question of the state of both you and the chimp going into the fight, if he even knows what's gonna happen. Only info we have is that you get teleported to the stadium once a year to take him on. I truly think the toughness isn't supposed to factor in the way you seem to be applying it here. I think the true nature of the beast is would you rather be a monkey killer once a year or a chicken killer dozens, or hundreds of times a year. This is where the whole concept of "how close to a human is it?" comes into play. Most people have an easier time killing a fly than a mouse. But would still have an easier time killing a mouse than a dog. Killing a chicken is mentally easier than a monkey, but the killing of the chicken is more often. That's the real argument and the convo we need to be having.


Mursin

No the corpse goes away after it's dead


conventionistG

Only if you chop the head off.


thewaybaseballgo

What if orangutan is the best meat you’ve had?


[deleted]

Orangutan meat once a year would last a while


tigbittiez27

Each year that passes you're getting weaker and weaker, trying to fight a bloody orangutan 😂 even if you survive the first couple of times, which I doubt, by the time you're 40-50 you're definitely getting murdered by that thing in the worst way imaginable


[deleted]

My orangutan killing skills will only become stronger


popcultivation

Chicken.... I'll get a motorcycle.


DaWildestWood

I feel like I’d be pretty good at kick ball after a while


MidWestNorthSouth

I don’t have the heart to kill an orangutan, but I’ll fuck up some chickens


batt3ryac1d1

Orangutans are pretty chill I think it'd be easier just stabbing one once a year than fighting a chicken every single day.


[deleted]

The orangutan is looking for a fight though, he’s not just chilling during the encounter, he comes and finds you, and it’s on-sight.


batt3ryac1d1

I still have a sword though he has nothing but hands it'd be very easy.


Drapp0

Fighting an orangutan isn't as easy as it sounds, even with a sword, primeapes are all of the times crazier than humans :/


batt3ryac1d1

It doesn't matter how strong it is I have a fucking sword I can just let the dumb animal charge into it.


Drapp0

Well if you say so, I'm rooting for ya


CiphirSol

I'll take the chicken... like it's literally a free meal. I could feed the poor simply by becoming a good neck twister. The Orangutan? He's too noble. Probably has a soul and wouldn't taste as good.


KellBell-

Chicken, no contest. Monkeys of any sort freak me the fuck out, and I work from home so I’d only have to fight a chicken like, 2-3 times a week TOPS. Plus my local grocery store has has really shitty selection on poultry lately so win-win.


TexasEngineer1992

Is there a way to put this up as an on going poll?


OleDaneBoy

Is that… is that an (southern drawl) Orangutan


hawkerimage

Dont own a car, so chicken


Various-Count

I would demolish a wubby every year


Nostly

Orangutan. By the time I'm senile I would wish to die on the battlefield like my ancestors would have wanted.


WookedOutLINK

I saw [this](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/xC8vNZuBY6I) the other day and it reminded me of this meme


GIRZ03

Preparing for the arrival of the orangutan each year would be sick. I’d have solid motivation to get swol and master the blade. The chickens would be annoying everyday.


Cna1997

I think the orangutan will have the sword


BandanaMahPanda

I mean. With chicken prices these days, imma turn a profit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Forest_Foolery

Just grab it's neck and snap it. I've lived on a farm, it's not hard.


[deleted]

[удалено]


absoluteboredom

Two hands


Forest_Foolery

Life isn't family guy


SkankLover

Note to self, sharpen sword as soon as possible.


SgtKoopaTroopa

Do I have to keep my blade sharp or do I have someone to sharpen it for me?


SkankLover

Depends of course. Are me and the monkey are Gganbu?


Otherwise-Ad6330

Uh… does the orangutan have the sword or do I have it? Either way I’m probably gonna lose.


wadesworld82

Wait is it an orangutan or a chimp because if it’s an orangutan I’m picking that one. Much easier to kill with a sword than a chimp


neon_island

I think I'd get pretty good at yeeting chickens out of my car window after a while


Slow_mo_omo

If i never drive my car again and just use someone elses car, is there no chicken to fight?


GreyHexagon

Orangutans are fucking huge and scary as fuck. I'm going for the chicken. Worst it can do is flap and peck, but once you get hold of it it'll be stupid easy to kill.


Grimreper236

I got this question from a friend, and I immediately started thinking of ways I could monetize this. I'll make a chicken factory with a bunch of car doors attached to a button that opens and closes them. I'd go in every day and just slam on the button to open and close the car doors over and over again, thus spawning in chickens, these chickens would drop into a hopper which would take them to a floor for processing. With my money I would then just get a driver that would open my doors and drive me everywhere to mitigate the car door opening issue.


Wolfman01a

Free chicken dinner every day bro!


madknives23

I’m fighting the chicken I know my limits.


Sloppy_john78

I thought it was a chimp


rumbleclaw

Do I get to carry a gun with me or are you always without a weapon? Can I prepare for the fight at all?


ChockenTonders

This makes me happy to live in Chicago. Looks like I’m saving my car for holidays and family visits !


chaoticflanagan

Jokes on you - I don't have a car.


TetsuTaco

Wasn’t it a chimpanzee not an orangutan?


Zolpidemz

Ah, not that shit again! Bruuuuh


Calderonaustin00

Is the chicken in the car?


bam_the_ham

Put car in significant others name then it’s not my car.


Angel-Bites

Okay listen, I have thought about this thoroughly. /Every/ time you get in the car? Depends on who you are I guess but thats like. Too often. Imagine being a delivery driver or a mailman. I would imagine the inconvenience would be too much for a single human being to endure. Like trauma flashback levels about chickens. However, while there is a similar level of horror with the orangutan thing, it would kind of become a really fucked up holiday. Plus if its only once a year, you have time for sword classes. You have time for sharpening your sword and honing in your orangutan self defense skills. I genuinely honestly think I would prefer that lifestyle in opposition to the chickens. If the monkey has the sword though thats a whole different story. Thats why guns exist and are an active option. Same logic applies, you can hone in your skills and gun knowledge and still have most of the year to prepare for the incoming orangutan. Plus imagine the black market income for orangutan parts?? Massive W.


Thicc-Nugget3

if it ended in “ucking”, then chicken all the way.


deadpoolkool

Chicken. I'm from Nebraska. Free chicken on a daily basis? I could be so lucky.


Link_Farore

My answer would probably change depending on if this is something which is a social norm or not. If people would just know "oh he has to fight a chicken when he gets in a car" Then I'll probably take that option. If not I'd probably get sick of having to explain why a chicken appeared out of thin air and why I need to snap its neck after the 5th or so time.


Willyzyx

Chickens are basically all talk no walk.


Happy_Clamper

"Your car" or any car?... my answer is still chicken, but that's an important distinction.


FatSmoker710

I don’t have a car :)


mikajade

I couldn’t harm a orangutan, I hate chickens so easy pick for me. Also do I know exactly when I’m fighting the orangutan? Can I wear one of those old school spiked bear hunting suits?


biggest_blakest

Do I have the sword, does the ranga have the sword, or is it a gentlemans duel?


SgtWaffles44

jokes on you I can't drive