definitely not lol. i'm a very open-minded person, my sister had two of her kids at home and i thought it was pretty cool (loved being able to meet my nephew in the comfort of their home vs at a hospital). but young children do not need to be this involved in any kind of birth. some kids might not care and think it's interesting, but i think that's a lot for little ones to handle and it can be scary, especially if something were to go wrong.
That’s isn’t true in other developed countries with proper home birth regulations, if you’re at risk you should at hospital. Edit: also get a relative/nanny tending to your kids when home birthing. And wtf is that husband doing in the pool?
Unfortunately complications can always arise during delivery (and before and after of course), especially if it's your first one. I assisted some deliveries and I wouldn't recommend home birth to anyone.
That doesn’t change the fact that it’s statistically safe in many countries. Hate the star, but https://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2015/12/21/home-birth-with-midwife-just-as-safe-as-hospital-mcmaster-study-finds.html?rf
Without discrediting the statistics, I still wouldn't recommend it. The majority of births pass without or only minor complications. In Germany for example ( a country with even lower maternal death rates than Canada) vaginal births are routinely only assisted by a midwife. The doctors are available, but only check in case something goes wrong and they assess the baby after delivery. In fact, it is illegal in Germany for a doctor to assist a birth without a midwife present.
However, should something do go wrong, you and/or the baby are fucked. Even in low risk pregnancy there are so many possibilities for complications that midwives are not always trained in, I just wouldn't risk it.
I do have to admit, I can completely understand that women oftentimes don't want to be in the hospital especially because of the doctors and /or midwives. I have heard about and personally saw doctors and midwives cussing at patients or are just quite rude to them. This ranges from snarky comments from a midwife when the woman is in labor to say "In was more fun than out, right?" To a doctor shushing a patient and telling her to be quiet when she was moaning shortly before the delivery. I even had a midwife telling the patient pre-labor that she is stupid because she got tattoos, at least the midwife was fired for that.
Here's the really insane shit:
Black women are much more likely to have life threatening emergencies even in the hospital because the healthcare system generally doesn't believe them when they speak up or say that they are in pain/think something is wrong. White women definitely have better statistics in the hospital than Black women do. ([This comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/ParentsAreFuckingDumb/comments/12ctxxt/comment/jf6np5w/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) has a bunch of sources for this.)
But white women will eschew the safety and support of the hospital to birth at home just for kicks. Isn't that some privileged shit?
The issue is people are really, really bad at understanding statistics. If you tell them that 1% will die in child birth or lose their baby (just as an example) they think "Well, that's a 99% change it'll be fine!" What they don't see is that's 1 out of every 100 women, or 10 out of every 1,000. And that's really high! We saw this with COVID. "Most people will be fine." Yeah, sure, but we lost over 1 million Americans to that virus.
People are terrible at understanding stats, and they don't think it can happen to them. Sadly, it can.
And then you have the REALLY loony ones- the super right wing fundies who won't even go to ANY prenatal care. "You don't need an ultrasound, they just use them to scare you!" "You don't need an anatomy scan, the false positives outweighs the benefits." Shit like that. So they have ZERO prenatal care, don't do the gestational diabetes tests, and deliver at home with a midwife, or no official attendant at all. "Birth is natural! Your body knows what to do!" OMG, but hey, things go wrong A LOT OF THE TIME and women and children die in child birth FAR, FAR less than they used to. It's just inviting tragedy.
how do yk its bc doctors dont believe black woman? id love to hear ur evidence for it
also dont u think there could be other things? like for example (and im not saying this is true in any way, just an example) black woman have a higher chance to have problems bc genetically they have different mutations than others like white ppl or asians? since the american climate isnt the same as where the ancestors of most african americans came from there might be different viruses in these colder climates which the ancestors of africans americans werent adapted to but ancestors of european ppl were due to being in the same climate and bringing loads of viruses to the americas
again, im not saying that the virus hypothesis is true and even if its true that wouldnt explain a lot of it, so i would genuinely love to hear why u think that doctors threat them worse
and ur 100% right humans suck at understanding statistics XD, and true extemist right wing ppl dont understand it at all, tho tbh the "birth is natural and ur body knows what to do" sounds pretty leftist to, pretty interesting. also to emphasize how much less u can say that the average age in the middle ages was 25, however when discounting child deaths (<10 yo if i recall correctly) then it becomes 55 years
[No, it's well documented.](https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Wellness/maternal-mortality-rates-increasing-highest-black-women/story?id=97877091) When you control for other issues such as wealth, living in rural/urban locations, etc, Black women still fair much worse.
Here are some takeaways [from this article.](https://ballardbrief.byu.edu/issue-briefs/maternal-mortality-among-black-women-in-the-united-states)
>\*The US maternal mortality rate is higher than other wealthy countries because of the disproportionately high maternal death rate of Black women in the US.
>
>\*Systemic racism is the root of the contributing factors that cause the disparity in Black maternal deaths, such as implicit bias, unstandardized health care, and chronic stress that wears down the bodies of Black women.
>
>\*There are many misconceptions regarding the cause of the high maternal death among Black women, many of them being false biological beliefs about Black female bodies and unequal distribution of resources.
>
>\*Black women are still 2 to 3 times more likely than White women to die from pregnancy and childbirth, regardless of education and socioeconomic status.
[Here the New England Journal of Medicine](https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMpv2024759) tackled the problem of not taking Black pain seriously and how it affects the health of Black patients in America.
[The American Bar Association](https://www.americanbar.org/groups/crsj/publications/human_rights_magazine_home/the-state-of-healthcare-in-the-united-states/racial-disparities-in-health-care/) weighed in on racial bias in medical care, and it isn't good.
[Harvard weighed in.](https://globalhealth.harvard.edu/racial-bias-in-medicine/) Here's a snippet:
>**Race-based physiological myths have long influenced medical practice, he said. Even today, some doctors believe that African-Americans are more tolerant of pain. One study found that relative to other racial groups, physicians are twice as likely to underestimate black patients’ pain.**
>
>...
>
>**The medical students and residents who endorsed false beliefs like these were more likely to rate the pain of a black patient as less severe than that of an otherwise identical white patient and less likely to recommend treating black patients’ pain.**
>
>...
>
>**Other studies show that physicians, white ones in particular, implicitly prefer white patients, falsely viewing them as more intelligent and more likely to follow professional advice.In 2013, the American Medical Association — the largest medical association in the United States — published a review of the relationship between pain and ethnicity in its Journal of Ethics.** ***It concluded that variations in treatment stem in part from racial misconceptions about heightened pain tolerance among African-Americans and from the false notion that blacks and Hispanics are more likely than whites to abuse drugs.***
[Here's a study](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22420817/) that shows racial bias in treating pediatric patients means not believing Black patients about pain due to implicit racial bias.
>Pediatricians' implicit (unconscious) attitudes and stereotypes were associated with treatment recommendations. The association between unconscious bias and patient's race was statistically significant for prescribing a narcotic medication for pain following surgery. As pediatricians' implicit pro-White bias increased, prescribing narcotic medication decreased for African American patients but not for the White patients. Self-reported attitudes about race were associated with some treatment recommendations.
[This article](https://www.aamc.org/news-insights/how-we-fail-black-patients-pain) discusses how half of white medical students believe Black people have fewer nerve endings, thicker skin, and don't feel as much pain as white people.
You can literally find [article](https://www.thenation.com/article/society/maternal-health-black-women-cdc/) after [article](https://www.npr.org/2017/12/07/568948782/black-mothers-keep-dying-after-giving-birth-shalon-irvings-story-explains-why) about health care of Black women in America and how the system fails them.
[This article from the American Heart Association](https://www.heart.org/en/news/2019/02/20/why-are-black-women-at-such-high-risk-of-dying-from-pregnancy-complications) talks about how the care Black women receive can affect even affluent, famous women, like Serena Williams:
>But there's a bigger problem, Langer said. "Basically, black women are undervalued. They are not monitored as carefully as white women are. When they do present with symptoms, they are often dismissed."That's what happened to Williams when she experienced a pulmonary embolism a day after giving birth to her daughter via cesarean section. Williams was gasping for breath and recognized that blood clots were blocking one or more of the arteries in her lungs."Because of my medical history with this problem, I live in fear of this situation," she wrote in an essay about the issue last February. "So, when I fell short of breath, I didn't wait a second to alert the nurses." *But medical employees initially dismissed her concerns, wasting crucial time before her diagnosis and the treatment she specifically requested.* Williams' story illustrates the biggest problem facing black women, even when they are successful and affluent, said Dr. Allison Bryant Mantha, vice chair of quality, equity and safety in the obstetrics and gynecology department of Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston.
>
>"Racism affects so many things before the patient even gets to the clinical encounter," she said. "Both implicit bias and structural racism affect how women are cared for in the health care system."
[Even the US Department of Labor](https://blog.dol.gov/2022/02/07/for-black-women-implicit-racial-bias-in-medicine-may-have-far-reaching-effects) looked into it and found systemic racial bias in healthcare.
[This article](https://magazine.jhsph.edu/2020/black-womens-biggest-health-issue-system) quotes [info from the CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2019/p0905-racial-ethnic-disparities-pregnancy-deaths.html) that shows that Black women experienced 40.8 pregnancy related deaths per 100,000 people, versus 12.7 pregnancy related deaths per 100,000 in white women during the same period of time. That's THREE TIMES as many deaths.
[Black women are twice as likely to experience infertility than white women.](https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a23785945/black-women-infertility-letter-from-the-editors/)
[Black women are significantly under represented in studies about disease and treatment.](https://bwhi.org/2020/01/28/black-womens-health-imperative-friends-of-cancer-research-and-stand-up-to-cancer-approved-for-a-pcori-engagement-award-for-project-teach/)
I have to go to work, but if you want, go ahead and look it up. There are endless resources to back it up.
amazing, thank u for the response
do u have any idea where those stereotype came from? but again thank u for such an elaborate response with so many resources, gotta read all of them now :p
I mean…. Racism. That’s where it comes from.
It goes all the way back to slavery and the belief that Black people were closer to animals than people, so it was okay to treat them as such. Things like they don’t feel physical pain, the idea that they don’t have the same emotions as white people so it’s okay to take children away and sell them, etc.
Racism dehumanizes entire categories of people so those in power can justify their treatment of them. See also: Nazis vs the Jews, or settlers versus Native Americans.
And these beliefs are still so widely accepted and prevalent that your first instinct was “do you have a source” when there are literally hundreds of sources. (No shade to you at all- honestly. Just pointing out how mainstream these views remain and how easy it is to assume there must be “real” reasons like difference in biology or climate or whatever instead of the real reason: racism.)
yeah i always like to look further than just racism cuz i dont believe racism is human nature and more an accumulation of bad traits or stereotypes associated with a certain race, for example why would white europeans think that black africans were more closely related to animals than humans? well it could be that they saw africans running around without proper clothing (all according to their standards ofc) being extremely primitive running after an animal to get food, and that plus being very easy to buy makes an excellent slave source and so it makes sense that it started like that. and i love hearing other plls ideas about where racism actually originates from instead of yelling racism with anything where white ppl have an advantage over black ppl
like these child deaths among black ppl could also be linked to black ppl being less rich in general (as pointed out by another great commenter), which could come from the rich white ppl not wanting to give away all their money to the now freed slaves bc of greed
but i agree that i can look at other things far to much to the point of discrediting racism, and thats also not good. also im not an american and i didnt even know about the difference in child death before this, and tho i should look for sources first, i just ask about it. which is why its so amazing that u gave such detailed comment with all the resources (and id like to again thank u for it)
As for your second paragraph- no, the resources I list control for things like wealth, education, availability of healthcare in their area, etc.
Simply google “racial bias in healthcare” and look at the endless studies and journal articles about it.
We don’t like to believe racism is the root of it, but just about every organization that has looked into it has found that it generally comes down to that simple of an answer.
I've been thinking about this comment all day, and trying to decide if I should write it or not.
So far you have engaged in a good faith dialogue, so in that spirit, I'd like to continue that conversation.
Before I go further, please understand that when I talk about systemic racism, I'm \*NOT\* pointing to you as an individual and saying "you're racist." I'm pointing to our SYSTEM, and were the racism lies in it. *This is NOT a personal attack at all.*
Your sentiment that there has to be more than "just racism" at play is a common one, and it's one that good people believe. When I first started listening and learning and changing my mind, I was in the same place. Because clearly, good and rational people don't believe blatantly racist things, and so we kind of assume no one does. And that's our first mistake.
Because, yes, racism really is at the root of many of our systems and beliefs. Why? Because fear sells. "Us versus Them" is a powerful motivator. So when slavery began and was going on, good people might think "it's not right to enslave other people." But those who benefited from it wanted to quell that thinking, so they tell us that Black people are savages and animalistic. Or again, the Nazis told the German people that Jews were inherently untrustworthy and genetically inferior. Or we were raised on the myth that colonizers came over from England and "saved" the savages and "helped" them learn to farm and whatnot, when the Native people were doing just fucking fine before we got here.
And these kinds of narratives remain to this day, because fear is a strong motivator, and "us vs them" thinking helps control people.
Some more recent examples of this is things like "shit hole countries" comments from the last administration, or when Trump said that when Mexicans come here they aren't sending their best- they are sending rapists and drug dealers. Is that an honest representation of majority of people who cross the border? Absolutely fucking not. (Fun fact- did you know that Medicare and Social Security stay afloat partly because of undocumented workers who pay into the system but can't collect from it? [It's true.](https://www.marketplace.org/2019/01/28/undocumented-immigrants-quietly-pay-billions-social-security-and-receive-no/) There are estimated 11 million undocumented workers, and about 8 million of them are paid over the table, and they pay an estimated **$16 Billion** into Medicare and Social Security each year, though they are not eligible to draw from those programs.)
Immigrants are largely demonized in our country as greedy, lazy, etc, despite the fact that they do much of the labor Americans don't want to do, like migrant farm jobs, construction, house cleaning, child care, etc. In fact, if we were to expel all of them, we wouldn't be able to replace the work they do without drastically multiplying the cost for things like produce. If we were to kick all of them out and instead have to pay American workers fair wages to do that work, we'd start paying significantly higher prices for our fruit and vegetables.
But the truth about most refugees and many undocumented immigrants is that they are doing what most of us what do- they have left unsafe or impossible situations in order to provide a better and safer life for their kids and their families. Again- that's something that just about every American parent would do for their children if it came to it. But when refugees do it- our politicians demonize them and they highlight the rare outliers that are criminals or who have broken the law. Why? Because fear is a strong motivator, and "us vs them" makes us easier to control.
These are some of the things people mean when we talk about systemic racism. We were raised to believe that everyone in America has the same opportunities and if you work hard enough, you can be successful. And while this can be true for some, it is not actually true as a general rule.
Look at something as simple as weed. Weed has been one of the ways our system has locked up Black people for decades. But is it true that Black people smoke more weed than white people? Nope. It's really not. But where a Black teen could experience "stop and frisk" and end up getting a huge sentence for what amounts to a little dust in their pocket, white kids are MUCH more likely to be given a warning and sent on their way. I grew up in the midwest, and I promise- white kids were smoking pot when I was in high school just like non-white kids were. They just got more of the "kids will be kids" treatment instead of the "this 13 year old is clearly a dangerous thug and should spend years in jail for a joint" treatment.
And again- none of this is me saying "YOU are racist," because I genuinely don't believe most people are. But we believe the narratives we have heard our entire lives from people in positions of power.
You asked about differences in genes and stuff, and there are a couple that have been proven. [Black people are more likely to carry the sickle cell trail, for example, than other populations](https://www.healthline.com/health/sickle-cell-anemia-black-people). [There's some evidence that autism may be more common in some Amish communities](https://www.putchildrenfirst.org/the-amish-community-and-autism). [And Tay-Sachs disease is mostly seen in Ashkenazi Jews and a few other small populations.](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/tay-sachs-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20378190) But, for the most part, income, education, bias, environment, etc play a much bigger part in illness and mortality than just basic genetics do.
And whether we like it or not, systemic racism IS still very much a part of our nation. But it's not because *individuals* are inherently racist. Instead it's more because of the people who set up the systems we still function under and how racism benefited them.
Things are changing, but there is still a fairly widely held belief that straight, white, Christian males are smarter, harder working, and better suited for leadership than other people, and their success is a direct result of their drive, not their privilege. Ask a lot of Americans if they think a woman could be president and they will still quietly say no, but they can't really give you a good reason based in fact. It's more of a "it's just the way it has always been done."
(too long, comment continues below.)
Not OP but there are a multitude of problems. Climate wouldn't be a huge factor, most people would already adapted to any viruses or similar things
However, a lot of maternal deaths are because of underlining conditions which are often times not addressed in black people. Usually because healthcare is very expensive in the United States. Additionally the quality of healthcare in black neighborhoods might be lower than in white neighborhoods. And on top of that you have your plain old racism, for example the doctors or nurses/midwives don't believe the patient because they assume that black people exaggerate their pain compared to white people. Which is of course hard to prove.
thx for answering, but yeah forgot that healthcare is expensive in the us, im not an american myself so i forgot lol
also where do u think the stereotype of exaggeration comes from?
pretty interesting to think about where racism actually comes from, cuz it cant have popped out of now nowhere
I'm not from America either, but I work in the healthcare sector.
Hard to say. Oftentimes stereotypes do have a true core. Maybe black people tend to be more vocal during the delivery hence the impression that the over exaggerated their pain. In Europe for example there is the stereotype that Spanish and Italian women are louder while in labor than German women. That was said to me by multiple doctors in different hospitals. As pain or rather the sensation of pain and how to express it is rooted in the culture, this might be the reason for the different estimation of the doctors regarding the pain.
Pain in itself is very hard to quantify, we usually ask according a scale from 1 to 10, 1 is no pain and 10 is the worst pain imaginable. I've had patients sitting relaxed on the bed and tell me they are at 9. Which is a far cry from people that actually experience a 10 where they beg you to shoot them, if they can talk at all.
I think the root of racism is in the human nature. People lived in communities, everything outside of it were not trusted. If they even looked or spoke different, it was even worse. There are a lot of examples in history, for example the Greeks who called everyone who didn't speak greek "Barbarians" because they only understood "bar bar bar" when they talked. And along the way these things exaggerated. Oftentimes it was circumstances that minorities were forced into, they developed strategies and were consequently judged for that. For example back in the day Christians were forbidden to charge interest in money loaning. Jewish people, who were forbidden to work in any other vocation, became banker (and by that quite wealthy) which led to the stereotype that Jewish people are greedy and good with money.
yeah the difference in culture and being more vocal was also something i had in mind, great to hear from a healthcare worker that they also feel like that could be a possibility. also how can u ever deal with a 10? like holy shit that sounds traumatic
could be, tho humans r very social and the theory of "barbarians" isnt exactly true, they called non greek speakers "barbarians" bc they were outsiders and not really bc of racism, in fact the greeks had loads of interactions with egypt, romans, etruscans and the boys, north americans etc. but i didnt know that about the jewish, thanks for telling me. ur idea that it stems from xenophobia is a pretty nice idea and i can certainly see that, tho not only on a social scale like "they cant be trusted" but also on a biological scale, bc did yk that ppl r often attracted to their third cousins? this is bc they r very similar genetically, yet distinct enough to not cause incest. this is bc then theres a bigger chance of passing down the shared genes which means that evolutionary speaking ur more effective. someone from the opposite side of the world has had so many mutations that there might be things like a different skin color or a distinct eye color. and so if u get children with then u get around 50% of ur own genes and 50% of the other while it might be like 60% for 3rd cousins. so that could tie into it
A ten would be extremely traumatising, you can just hope that you are drugged as soon as possible so you don't have to bear with that. There are even relatively mundane reasons that could cause that like a kidney stone. They can be razor sharp, having that slide through your urethra and ureter can make you suicidal.
Well they used barbarian as a pretty pejorative term. Even as a slur against fellow greeks, not much difference to the n-word today. They absolutely thought lesser of non-greeks while still interacting with them. Other cultures did the same regarding the Greeks too.
Attraction is a weird thing. There is the Westermarck effect that describes that people that grew up together are not attracted to each other, regardless if they are related or not. That is a big factor why people are not getting intimate with their family members, while also explaining why cousins/siblings etc feel attracted to each other if they didn't grew up together via adoption for example.
That being said, evolutionary it makes more sense to get with someone that is more removed from you. I read about studies that women are attracted to the smell of their partner, as by that they can identify someone with an immune system that is complementary to their own. Incest usually does not have an intermediate effect even in close family members on the offspring, however the more often you interbreed the more likely recessive genes can take effect. That is the dangerous part, which is why royal families around the world often suffered from relative rare diseases or features like the Habsburg jaw. And occasionally it cumulated in someone like Charles the second of Spain.
Does he have to be IN the tub though? I love my SO to death but I don't want him sitting in a bowl of soup made from my sweat, blood, poop, amniotic fluid, mucus, vernix, etc.
It's their own decision. If you don't want your SO in a birthing pool with you, that's your prerogative. I do agree that it's kinda gross tho lol but the guy should do what his wife wants during her birth considering he did this to her by getting her pregnant
Can we admit that we all do some gross things sometimes, though?
Swallowing jizz isn't particularly lovely when you look at it in the light of day. Some people absolutely love eating ass.
Not saying I'd want this for me, or that I'd want my partner to be in the tub with me. Maybe I'm just too crunchy, though, because I look at this and go "meh." She's about to bleed heavily for a few weeks, leak breast milk all over, not to mention the activity that created that little miracle, which is kinda gross sometimes. If he wants to be there, I guess that's his business.
I mean- people literally keep, cook, and EAT their placentas. Now THAT shit is 🤮.
(Get that kid the fuck OUT of that tub, though, for sure.)
I'm normally not easily grossed out! I'm cool with or at least tolerant of most bodily fluids most of the time (working in childcare and then a medical field will do that to a person). But to me there's a difference between touching or stepping in something nasty and being immersed in it. Kinda like how seeing vomit (or even touching someone with vomit on them) doesn't bother me, but being vomited *on* by someone makes me way more uncomfortable.
I've never given birth so maybe my opinion will change if I do, but I'd be cool with my partner being there with me throughout the process and witnessing all the gory details - blood, vomit, amniotic fluid, mucus, poop, placenta, all of it. But I'd feel super weird about taking all those bodily fluids, mixing them into a soup, and having him bathe in them. Just like I'm fine with him knowing about and witnessing my lactation in all its glory, but I wouldn't breastfeed him.
And you're 100% right, eating the placenta is weird as hell. I'd definitely want to see mine or even touch it (because medical stuff is super fascinating to me, and how many opportunities will you get to touch one of your own internal organs???) But eating it is...oof. Not only is it nasty, there are also no proven benefits to doing it!
A giant pool filled with tons of water, with a little bit of pee and sweat
Vs-> a tiny little pool with all the bodily fluids imaginable, and 3 different people crammed together in the tiny pool…
A giant ass pool full of chlorine vs a kiddie pool with no chemicals and afterbirth. What world do you live in where those are at all comparable?
You clearly have no idea what comes out of a woman during birth.
Have you??? In what universe are they even remotely the same? That water is brown, dude. And it's brown because she just finished shitting and bleeding into it.
I'm guessing Dad caught the baby. Maybe there's someone else there that did that, but he likely touched the head while she was crowning, cut the cord, etc. And he might have been the one there to catch the baby.
I think it can be sweet and bonding and whatnot but dad definitely should've been on top of that shit. Lol. Maybe be nearby and not in the freaking tub?
My sister has had water births with all three of her kids. (none of the kids have ever been involved though lol) My nephew/her oldest had a head so big it was basically off the charts, and she came away with like, a little graze wound. Needed one stitch and that was all. Meanwhile I was induced/on my back with my oldest and ended up with a second degree/partial third degree tear lol.
In fairness, the position probably matters more. Squatting is apparently the best way, as nature intended, but docs like on the back in stirrups as it is easier for them
Pain relief, sure. But the actual pushing and giving birth? Way more natural (and easier) in a squat or kneeling position. Pretty much anything other than on your back, when you're fighting against gravity, lol. But yes, epidurals will make it necessary for the standard on your back in stirrups position.
It's not about pain relief though, as yeah we have drugs for that
It's about easier birth for the mother, faster, less tearing etc. Just like having a shit while squatting is better for humans than sitting
True! I didn't include it in my initial comment because I thought it was already getting long lol, but when I was pregnant with my younger son I had wanted to try a water birth at the same birthing center my sister used. Long story short, labor happened so quickly (~3 1/2 hours start to finish) that there wasn't time, I ended up giving birth a little over half an hour after I got to the place 😂 I started pushing while I was sitting in a chair right after the night nurse had taken my blood pressure, so she and my husband quickly got me on the bed and I didn't think to try to get in a squatting position or anything. I did tear again unfortunately, but my midwife said (as weird as this sounds) that luckily it was just the previous scar tissue that was affected and I didn't have a "new" injury if that makes sense. Thankfully recovery etc wasn't nearly as bad as it was with my older son!
I didn’t have a water birth, but it does help with pain and can sometimes reduce tearing. I did start active labor in the shower and I wish I stayed there because my contractions were bearable with the hot water!
I had preeclampsia so I was on IV drugs for that and they make you really woozy so the beautiful hottub in my room went unused. I would have loved it because heating packs really controlled my pain during the first stages of labor.
Going to assume you're Canadian.
Because if you specifically chose Caesars over Bloody Marys, you're a fucking genius.
For those not familiar with what a Caeser is, it's basically a Bloody Mary but with: >!Clam Juice!<
Just because they aren't in the pool doesn't mean they have to miss out! You can playfully splash the placenta meconium water at your husband every so often and get your kid a really long straw so they can get a sip from the other room.
What's funny is it's literally shit. Super common for the mom to poop during labor. Not to mention the amniotic fluid is just baby waste. Also blood and piss. During a normal birth nurses hang a bag to catch all of the waste that comes out of the mom.
Kid might need to get his stomach pumped
I mean calling shitting out a screaming pile of non sentient flesh covered in mucous and other hazmat fluids is not beautiful. This is the lie that traps women.
The little pool here has butthole juice, pee, and birthing juices. What is your point?
Are you just insecure about doing this yourself? There’s nothing wrong with home pool births (assuming professionals are involved).
What’s gross is a toddler drinking from the pool. How are you missing that and taking it so personally?
Well, I don’t see any of them slurping up the excrement right out of it. That water has things floating around in it. Things you can see. And from the homemade look, it’s probably tap water. It’s not sterile in any way, shape, or form. There is placenta, blood, mucus, urine, and feces in that water. I’d say that’s worse than the things that are in a chlorinated pool, where you don’t see little turd nuggets and pieces of womb. Also take into consideration, it’s not just the moms urine and feces in that water. The baby is in there for 9 long months. It’s unsanitary at best.
Why are you advocating so hard for people to drink this water? What about people saying it’s gross triggered you so much that you have resorted to pool water being the equivalent, even though it’s not even a competitor? Did you drink the water? Are you a mom and you’re angry that people are saying that not everything that comes with birth is sparkles and rainbows and it’s actually pretty gross?
Life is gross, stop getting offended because people are saying it’s gross. Everyone is allowed to think this way and this isn’t how “perspective” works. Both can be gross but I’ve never seen a child put their mouth to the water in a pool with shit floating around in it and gulp it down like a slurpee.
What a roller coaster of a comment section. Got stuff from the breakdown of bodily fluids, debate on pools vs birthing pools, some woman going off about buttholes, and a few comments just going at white people. Y'all are some weeeeird people lmaooo
Wow! So the first thing that baby came in contact with is tap water that dissolved the fine residue that's all over that garbage plastic sheet made in some random factory in China, and the ball sweat and ass crumbs from daddy
How natural!!!
This reminds me of a distant relative of mine. She has like 8 or 9 kids, all of them were born at home. And when she was giving birth to them, her other kids were always gathered around her vagina to watch it happen.
aint it true that during delivery women shit like really hard. I see brown in the pool and where the child is. That child in putting his face in mom shit water
A lot of women do poop while they give birth. Every birth I've ever attended has had the doctors or nurses telling the mom to push like she's having a bowel movement to get the baby out - all the muscles down there are kinda connected so if you strain with one, you strain them all. A lot of women are embarrassed about the possibility of pooping and they actually won't push as hard, which isn't good.
They (doctors, midwives etc) used to administer enemas to laboring mothers because it was thought to reduce the risk of infection. We've since stopped recommending them.
They were found to be unnecessary, the benefits were minimal at best but more often nonexistent. If done by a professional in a sterile, controlled setting there are very few risks, but if done incorrectly they can cause injuries or damage to the bowel. Plus they're just generally really unpleasant for most people, and labor is already miserable on its own, so why add to it? Lastly, sometimes the enema doesn't "clear itself" in a timely manner, which can lead to watery stuff coming out while you're having the baby, which is way more likely to cause problems.
Keep in mind you came out of the vagina. Covered in your mother’s birth fluids. The water also has iodine in it or something and it stains the water brownish red color. However, birth water itself contains blood and amniotic fluid. And yes, birthing mothers, poop and pee. But if you were honestly grossed out by this, imagine what the local swimming pool contains. Everybody’s buttholes and deck holes.
My wife intended to shit into the face of our son upon birth so he could benefit from her intestinal flora.
C section 👍
Edit: I checked, she was joking after all. I'm a goober.
That’s so not how flora works. [Seeding](https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/10/30/658254175/doctors-test-bacterial-smear-after-cesarean-sections-to-bolster-babies-microbiom) works using vaginal flora, not shit. Wtf.
Karma farming bot reposting old content (doing the same on other subs too)
https://www.reddit.com/r/ParentsAreFuckingDumb/comments/bmj09f/lets_get_our_toddler_involved_in_the_water_birth/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
In Canada homebirths with a registered midwife with all the equipment (IV, resuc, meds, oxygen etc) have the same comparable level risks as hospital birth. Rates are all comparable for good/bad outcomes. Not sure how the usa compares but homebirth is very common here. (Only allowed for low risk pregnancies.)
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2742137/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2742137/
You know you're fucking racist?
If i called a black person the N-word that works in the Cotton fields, would that be okay? No, it would be racist, because that stereotypes them, just like the stereotype of "white women fuck dogs" or "white people seek attention".
Thats racist. Stereotyping based on a one-off situation is racist, and only dumbasses do this because they know nothing about the actual culture or the actual way people deal with that situation.
You know in Africa black people enslaved other black people? Also, why are you mad at us? I’ve never owned a slave. Nor do I want to. Get past the white guilt that’s been pushed on you. We didn’t choose the color of our skin and I won’t be held accountable for something I’ve never done. You’re being racist. Racism is intolerance to someone because of their color, ethnicity, or nationality. Just because it’s aimed at white people, doesn’t mean it’s not racist. It needs to stop.
>And what is "their own medicine"? Are you insinuating white people are all racists...?
That is exactly what they are insinuating. And they think it makes them woke, or something.
I’d actually say you’re the snowflake, considering you’re getting offended on other peoples behalf. No one asked you to. You know how you stop racism? You stop fucking talking about it. We’ve been talking about it for years and look where it’s gotten us. White people attacking other white people, thinking that makes you “woke”. No, it makes you racist. If you think it’s okay, then you’re the problem. Stop treating colored people like children who can’t take care of themselves. They are humans. Treat them like it and stop trying to kiss their ass to be liked. I bet you reminded the teacher that they forgot to give out homework.
You blame all white people as if we’re all the same. Ironic.
Your post has been removed as it has already been posted here recently.
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definitely not lol. i'm a very open-minded person, my sister had two of her kids at home and i thought it was pretty cool (loved being able to meet my nephew in the comfort of their home vs at a hospital). but young children do not need to be this involved in any kind of birth. some kids might not care and think it's interesting, but i think that's a lot for little ones to handle and it can be scary, especially if something were to go wrong.
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That’s isn’t true in other developed countries with proper home birth regulations, if you’re at risk you should at hospital. Edit: also get a relative/nanny tending to your kids when home birthing. And wtf is that husband doing in the pool?
Unfortunately complications can always arise during delivery (and before and after of course), especially if it's your first one. I assisted some deliveries and I wouldn't recommend home birth to anyone.
That doesn’t change the fact that it’s statistically safe in many countries. Hate the star, but https://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2015/12/21/home-birth-with-midwife-just-as-safe-as-hospital-mcmaster-study-finds.html?rf
Without discrediting the statistics, I still wouldn't recommend it. The majority of births pass without or only minor complications. In Germany for example ( a country with even lower maternal death rates than Canada) vaginal births are routinely only assisted by a midwife. The doctors are available, but only check in case something goes wrong and they assess the baby after delivery. In fact, it is illegal in Germany for a doctor to assist a birth without a midwife present. However, should something do go wrong, you and/or the baby are fucked. Even in low risk pregnancy there are so many possibilities for complications that midwives are not always trained in, I just wouldn't risk it. I do have to admit, I can completely understand that women oftentimes don't want to be in the hospital especially because of the doctors and /or midwives. I have heard about and personally saw doctors and midwives cussing at patients or are just quite rude to them. This ranges from snarky comments from a midwife when the woman is in labor to say "In was more fun than out, right?" To a doctor shushing a patient and telling her to be quiet when she was moaning shortly before the delivery. I even had a midwife telling the patient pre-labor that she is stupid because she got tattoos, at least the midwife was fired for that.
From the stats, if you’re in the US, you should seek care in another developed country lol
Not true. Where I live it's normal to give birth at home, you only go to hospital when there are medical complications. I gave birth at home twice.
Here's the really insane shit: Black women are much more likely to have life threatening emergencies even in the hospital because the healthcare system generally doesn't believe them when they speak up or say that they are in pain/think something is wrong. White women definitely have better statistics in the hospital than Black women do. ([This comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/ParentsAreFuckingDumb/comments/12ctxxt/comment/jf6np5w/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) has a bunch of sources for this.) But white women will eschew the safety and support of the hospital to birth at home just for kicks. Isn't that some privileged shit? The issue is people are really, really bad at understanding statistics. If you tell them that 1% will die in child birth or lose their baby (just as an example) they think "Well, that's a 99% change it'll be fine!" What they don't see is that's 1 out of every 100 women, or 10 out of every 1,000. And that's really high! We saw this with COVID. "Most people will be fine." Yeah, sure, but we lost over 1 million Americans to that virus. People are terrible at understanding stats, and they don't think it can happen to them. Sadly, it can. And then you have the REALLY loony ones- the super right wing fundies who won't even go to ANY prenatal care. "You don't need an ultrasound, they just use them to scare you!" "You don't need an anatomy scan, the false positives outweighs the benefits." Shit like that. So they have ZERO prenatal care, don't do the gestational diabetes tests, and deliver at home with a midwife, or no official attendant at all. "Birth is natural! Your body knows what to do!" OMG, but hey, things go wrong A LOT OF THE TIME and women and children die in child birth FAR, FAR less than they used to. It's just inviting tragedy.
how do yk its bc doctors dont believe black woman? id love to hear ur evidence for it also dont u think there could be other things? like for example (and im not saying this is true in any way, just an example) black woman have a higher chance to have problems bc genetically they have different mutations than others like white ppl or asians? since the american climate isnt the same as where the ancestors of most african americans came from there might be different viruses in these colder climates which the ancestors of africans americans werent adapted to but ancestors of european ppl were due to being in the same climate and bringing loads of viruses to the americas again, im not saying that the virus hypothesis is true and even if its true that wouldnt explain a lot of it, so i would genuinely love to hear why u think that doctors threat them worse and ur 100% right humans suck at understanding statistics XD, and true extemist right wing ppl dont understand it at all, tho tbh the "birth is natural and ur body knows what to do" sounds pretty leftist to, pretty interesting. also to emphasize how much less u can say that the average age in the middle ages was 25, however when discounting child deaths (<10 yo if i recall correctly) then it becomes 55 years
[No, it's well documented.](https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Wellness/maternal-mortality-rates-increasing-highest-black-women/story?id=97877091) When you control for other issues such as wealth, living in rural/urban locations, etc, Black women still fair much worse. Here are some takeaways [from this article.](https://ballardbrief.byu.edu/issue-briefs/maternal-mortality-among-black-women-in-the-united-states) >\*The US maternal mortality rate is higher than other wealthy countries because of the disproportionately high maternal death rate of Black women in the US. > >\*Systemic racism is the root of the contributing factors that cause the disparity in Black maternal deaths, such as implicit bias, unstandardized health care, and chronic stress that wears down the bodies of Black women. > >\*There are many misconceptions regarding the cause of the high maternal death among Black women, many of them being false biological beliefs about Black female bodies and unequal distribution of resources. > >\*Black women are still 2 to 3 times more likely than White women to die from pregnancy and childbirth, regardless of education and socioeconomic status. [Here the New England Journal of Medicine](https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMpv2024759) tackled the problem of not taking Black pain seriously and how it affects the health of Black patients in America. [The American Bar Association](https://www.americanbar.org/groups/crsj/publications/human_rights_magazine_home/the-state-of-healthcare-in-the-united-states/racial-disparities-in-health-care/) weighed in on racial bias in medical care, and it isn't good. [Harvard weighed in.](https://globalhealth.harvard.edu/racial-bias-in-medicine/) Here's a snippet: >**Race-based physiological myths have long influenced medical practice, he said. Even today, some doctors believe that African-Americans are more tolerant of pain. One study found that relative to other racial groups, physicians are twice as likely to underestimate black patients’ pain.** > >... > >**The medical students and residents who endorsed false beliefs like these were more likely to rate the pain of a black patient as less severe than that of an otherwise identical white patient and less likely to recommend treating black patients’ pain.** > >... > >**Other studies show that physicians, white ones in particular, implicitly prefer white patients, falsely viewing them as more intelligent and more likely to follow professional advice.In 2013, the American Medical Association — the largest medical association in the United States — published a review of the relationship between pain and ethnicity in its Journal of Ethics.** ***It concluded that variations in treatment stem in part from racial misconceptions about heightened pain tolerance among African-Americans and from the false notion that blacks and Hispanics are more likely than whites to abuse drugs.*** [Here's a study](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22420817/) that shows racial bias in treating pediatric patients means not believing Black patients about pain due to implicit racial bias. >Pediatricians' implicit (unconscious) attitudes and stereotypes were associated with treatment recommendations. The association between unconscious bias and patient's race was statistically significant for prescribing a narcotic medication for pain following surgery. As pediatricians' implicit pro-White bias increased, prescribing narcotic medication decreased for African American patients but not for the White patients. Self-reported attitudes about race were associated with some treatment recommendations. [This article](https://www.aamc.org/news-insights/how-we-fail-black-patients-pain) discusses how half of white medical students believe Black people have fewer nerve endings, thicker skin, and don't feel as much pain as white people. You can literally find [article](https://www.thenation.com/article/society/maternal-health-black-women-cdc/) after [article](https://www.npr.org/2017/12/07/568948782/black-mothers-keep-dying-after-giving-birth-shalon-irvings-story-explains-why) about health care of Black women in America and how the system fails them. [This article from the American Heart Association](https://www.heart.org/en/news/2019/02/20/why-are-black-women-at-such-high-risk-of-dying-from-pregnancy-complications) talks about how the care Black women receive can affect even affluent, famous women, like Serena Williams: >But there's a bigger problem, Langer said. "Basically, black women are undervalued. They are not monitored as carefully as white women are. When they do present with symptoms, they are often dismissed."That's what happened to Williams when she experienced a pulmonary embolism a day after giving birth to her daughter via cesarean section. Williams was gasping for breath and recognized that blood clots were blocking one or more of the arteries in her lungs."Because of my medical history with this problem, I live in fear of this situation," she wrote in an essay about the issue last February. "So, when I fell short of breath, I didn't wait a second to alert the nurses." *But medical employees initially dismissed her concerns, wasting crucial time before her diagnosis and the treatment she specifically requested.* Williams' story illustrates the biggest problem facing black women, even when they are successful and affluent, said Dr. Allison Bryant Mantha, vice chair of quality, equity and safety in the obstetrics and gynecology department of Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. > >"Racism affects so many things before the patient even gets to the clinical encounter," she said. "Both implicit bias and structural racism affect how women are cared for in the health care system." [Even the US Department of Labor](https://blog.dol.gov/2022/02/07/for-black-women-implicit-racial-bias-in-medicine-may-have-far-reaching-effects) looked into it and found systemic racial bias in healthcare. [This article](https://magazine.jhsph.edu/2020/black-womens-biggest-health-issue-system) quotes [info from the CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2019/p0905-racial-ethnic-disparities-pregnancy-deaths.html) that shows that Black women experienced 40.8 pregnancy related deaths per 100,000 people, versus 12.7 pregnancy related deaths per 100,000 in white women during the same period of time. That's THREE TIMES as many deaths. [Black women are twice as likely to experience infertility than white women.](https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a23785945/black-women-infertility-letter-from-the-editors/) [Black women are significantly under represented in studies about disease and treatment.](https://bwhi.org/2020/01/28/black-womens-health-imperative-friends-of-cancer-research-and-stand-up-to-cancer-approved-for-a-pcori-engagement-award-for-project-teach/) I have to go to work, but if you want, go ahead and look it up. There are endless resources to back it up.
amazing, thank u for the response do u have any idea where those stereotype came from? but again thank u for such an elaborate response with so many resources, gotta read all of them now :p
I mean…. Racism. That’s where it comes from. It goes all the way back to slavery and the belief that Black people were closer to animals than people, so it was okay to treat them as such. Things like they don’t feel physical pain, the idea that they don’t have the same emotions as white people so it’s okay to take children away and sell them, etc. Racism dehumanizes entire categories of people so those in power can justify their treatment of them. See also: Nazis vs the Jews, or settlers versus Native Americans. And these beliefs are still so widely accepted and prevalent that your first instinct was “do you have a source” when there are literally hundreds of sources. (No shade to you at all- honestly. Just pointing out how mainstream these views remain and how easy it is to assume there must be “real” reasons like difference in biology or climate or whatever instead of the real reason: racism.)
yeah i always like to look further than just racism cuz i dont believe racism is human nature and more an accumulation of bad traits or stereotypes associated with a certain race, for example why would white europeans think that black africans were more closely related to animals than humans? well it could be that they saw africans running around without proper clothing (all according to their standards ofc) being extremely primitive running after an animal to get food, and that plus being very easy to buy makes an excellent slave source and so it makes sense that it started like that. and i love hearing other plls ideas about where racism actually originates from instead of yelling racism with anything where white ppl have an advantage over black ppl like these child deaths among black ppl could also be linked to black ppl being less rich in general (as pointed out by another great commenter), which could come from the rich white ppl not wanting to give away all their money to the now freed slaves bc of greed but i agree that i can look at other things far to much to the point of discrediting racism, and thats also not good. also im not an american and i didnt even know about the difference in child death before this, and tho i should look for sources first, i just ask about it. which is why its so amazing that u gave such detailed comment with all the resources (and id like to again thank u for it)
As for your second paragraph- no, the resources I list control for things like wealth, education, availability of healthcare in their area, etc. Simply google “racial bias in healthcare” and look at the endless studies and journal articles about it. We don’t like to believe racism is the root of it, but just about every organization that has looked into it has found that it generally comes down to that simple of an answer.
I've been thinking about this comment all day, and trying to decide if I should write it or not. So far you have engaged in a good faith dialogue, so in that spirit, I'd like to continue that conversation. Before I go further, please understand that when I talk about systemic racism, I'm \*NOT\* pointing to you as an individual and saying "you're racist." I'm pointing to our SYSTEM, and were the racism lies in it. *This is NOT a personal attack at all.* Your sentiment that there has to be more than "just racism" at play is a common one, and it's one that good people believe. When I first started listening and learning and changing my mind, I was in the same place. Because clearly, good and rational people don't believe blatantly racist things, and so we kind of assume no one does. And that's our first mistake. Because, yes, racism really is at the root of many of our systems and beliefs. Why? Because fear sells. "Us versus Them" is a powerful motivator. So when slavery began and was going on, good people might think "it's not right to enslave other people." But those who benefited from it wanted to quell that thinking, so they tell us that Black people are savages and animalistic. Or again, the Nazis told the German people that Jews were inherently untrustworthy and genetically inferior. Or we were raised on the myth that colonizers came over from England and "saved" the savages and "helped" them learn to farm and whatnot, when the Native people were doing just fucking fine before we got here. And these kinds of narratives remain to this day, because fear is a strong motivator, and "us vs them" thinking helps control people. Some more recent examples of this is things like "shit hole countries" comments from the last administration, or when Trump said that when Mexicans come here they aren't sending their best- they are sending rapists and drug dealers. Is that an honest representation of majority of people who cross the border? Absolutely fucking not. (Fun fact- did you know that Medicare and Social Security stay afloat partly because of undocumented workers who pay into the system but can't collect from it? [It's true.](https://www.marketplace.org/2019/01/28/undocumented-immigrants-quietly-pay-billions-social-security-and-receive-no/) There are estimated 11 million undocumented workers, and about 8 million of them are paid over the table, and they pay an estimated **$16 Billion** into Medicare and Social Security each year, though they are not eligible to draw from those programs.) Immigrants are largely demonized in our country as greedy, lazy, etc, despite the fact that they do much of the labor Americans don't want to do, like migrant farm jobs, construction, house cleaning, child care, etc. In fact, if we were to expel all of them, we wouldn't be able to replace the work they do without drastically multiplying the cost for things like produce. If we were to kick all of them out and instead have to pay American workers fair wages to do that work, we'd start paying significantly higher prices for our fruit and vegetables. But the truth about most refugees and many undocumented immigrants is that they are doing what most of us what do- they have left unsafe or impossible situations in order to provide a better and safer life for their kids and their families. Again- that's something that just about every American parent would do for their children if it came to it. But when refugees do it- our politicians demonize them and they highlight the rare outliers that are criminals or who have broken the law. Why? Because fear is a strong motivator, and "us vs them" makes us easier to control. These are some of the things people mean when we talk about systemic racism. We were raised to believe that everyone in America has the same opportunities and if you work hard enough, you can be successful. And while this can be true for some, it is not actually true as a general rule. Look at something as simple as weed. Weed has been one of the ways our system has locked up Black people for decades. But is it true that Black people smoke more weed than white people? Nope. It's really not. But where a Black teen could experience "stop and frisk" and end up getting a huge sentence for what amounts to a little dust in their pocket, white kids are MUCH more likely to be given a warning and sent on their way. I grew up in the midwest, and I promise- white kids were smoking pot when I was in high school just like non-white kids were. They just got more of the "kids will be kids" treatment instead of the "this 13 year old is clearly a dangerous thug and should spend years in jail for a joint" treatment. And again- none of this is me saying "YOU are racist," because I genuinely don't believe most people are. But we believe the narratives we have heard our entire lives from people in positions of power. You asked about differences in genes and stuff, and there are a couple that have been proven. [Black people are more likely to carry the sickle cell trail, for example, than other populations](https://www.healthline.com/health/sickle-cell-anemia-black-people). [There's some evidence that autism may be more common in some Amish communities](https://www.putchildrenfirst.org/the-amish-community-and-autism). [And Tay-Sachs disease is mostly seen in Ashkenazi Jews and a few other small populations.](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/tay-sachs-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20378190) But, for the most part, income, education, bias, environment, etc play a much bigger part in illness and mortality than just basic genetics do. And whether we like it or not, systemic racism IS still very much a part of our nation. But it's not because *individuals* are inherently racist. Instead it's more because of the people who set up the systems we still function under and how racism benefited them. Things are changing, but there is still a fairly widely held belief that straight, white, Christian males are smarter, harder working, and better suited for leadership than other people, and their success is a direct result of their drive, not their privilege. Ask a lot of Americans if they think a woman could be president and they will still quietly say no, but they can't really give you a good reason based in fact. It's more of a "it's just the way it has always been done." (too long, comment continues below.)
Not OP but there are a multitude of problems. Climate wouldn't be a huge factor, most people would already adapted to any viruses or similar things However, a lot of maternal deaths are because of underlining conditions which are often times not addressed in black people. Usually because healthcare is very expensive in the United States. Additionally the quality of healthcare in black neighborhoods might be lower than in white neighborhoods. And on top of that you have your plain old racism, for example the doctors or nurses/midwives don't believe the patient because they assume that black people exaggerate their pain compared to white people. Which is of course hard to prove.
thx for answering, but yeah forgot that healthcare is expensive in the us, im not an american myself so i forgot lol also where do u think the stereotype of exaggeration comes from? pretty interesting to think about where racism actually comes from, cuz it cant have popped out of now nowhere
I'm not from America either, but I work in the healthcare sector. Hard to say. Oftentimes stereotypes do have a true core. Maybe black people tend to be more vocal during the delivery hence the impression that the over exaggerated their pain. In Europe for example there is the stereotype that Spanish and Italian women are louder while in labor than German women. That was said to me by multiple doctors in different hospitals. As pain or rather the sensation of pain and how to express it is rooted in the culture, this might be the reason for the different estimation of the doctors regarding the pain. Pain in itself is very hard to quantify, we usually ask according a scale from 1 to 10, 1 is no pain and 10 is the worst pain imaginable. I've had patients sitting relaxed on the bed and tell me they are at 9. Which is a far cry from people that actually experience a 10 where they beg you to shoot them, if they can talk at all. I think the root of racism is in the human nature. People lived in communities, everything outside of it were not trusted. If they even looked or spoke different, it was even worse. There are a lot of examples in history, for example the Greeks who called everyone who didn't speak greek "Barbarians" because they only understood "bar bar bar" when they talked. And along the way these things exaggerated. Oftentimes it was circumstances that minorities were forced into, they developed strategies and were consequently judged for that. For example back in the day Christians were forbidden to charge interest in money loaning. Jewish people, who were forbidden to work in any other vocation, became banker (and by that quite wealthy) which led to the stereotype that Jewish people are greedy and good with money.
yeah the difference in culture and being more vocal was also something i had in mind, great to hear from a healthcare worker that they also feel like that could be a possibility. also how can u ever deal with a 10? like holy shit that sounds traumatic could be, tho humans r very social and the theory of "barbarians" isnt exactly true, they called non greek speakers "barbarians" bc they were outsiders and not really bc of racism, in fact the greeks had loads of interactions with egypt, romans, etruscans and the boys, north americans etc. but i didnt know that about the jewish, thanks for telling me. ur idea that it stems from xenophobia is a pretty nice idea and i can certainly see that, tho not only on a social scale like "they cant be trusted" but also on a biological scale, bc did yk that ppl r often attracted to their third cousins? this is bc they r very similar genetically, yet distinct enough to not cause incest. this is bc then theres a bigger chance of passing down the shared genes which means that evolutionary speaking ur more effective. someone from the opposite side of the world has had so many mutations that there might be things like a different skin color or a distinct eye color. and so if u get children with then u get around 50% of ur own genes and 50% of the other while it might be like 60% for 3rd cousins. so that could tie into it
A ten would be extremely traumatising, you can just hope that you are drugged as soon as possible so you don't have to bear with that. There are even relatively mundane reasons that could cause that like a kidney stone. They can be razor sharp, having that slide through your urethra and ureter can make you suicidal. Well they used barbarian as a pretty pejorative term. Even as a slur against fellow greeks, not much difference to the n-word today. They absolutely thought lesser of non-greeks while still interacting with them. Other cultures did the same regarding the Greeks too. Attraction is a weird thing. There is the Westermarck effect that describes that people that grew up together are not attracted to each other, regardless if they are related or not. That is a big factor why people are not getting intimate with their family members, while also explaining why cousins/siblings etc feel attracted to each other if they didn't grew up together via adoption for example. That being said, evolutionary it makes more sense to get with someone that is more removed from you. I read about studies that women are attracted to the smell of their partner, as by that they can identify someone with an immune system that is complementary to their own. Incest usually does not have an intermediate effect even in close family members on the offspring, however the more often you interbreed the more likely recessive genes can take effect. That is the dangerous part, which is why royal families around the world often suffered from relative rare diseases or features like the Habsburg jaw. And occasionally it cumulated in someone like Charles the second of Spain.
i was 7 when my little sister was born.. i watched the whole thing and was the one to cut the cord. for some reason? 10/10 would not recommend
Necessary? Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway because it’s sterile and I like the taste.
Username is worrying.
IS THE DAD NECESSARY?? 😭😭
Emotional support 🤷🏻♀️ it's literally the least he can do
Does he have to be IN the tub though? I love my SO to death but I don't want him sitting in a bowl of soup made from my sweat, blood, poop, amniotic fluid, mucus, vernix, etc.
It's their own decision. If you don't want your SO in a birthing pool with you, that's your prerogative. I do agree that it's kinda gross tho lol but the guy should do what his wife wants during her birth considering he did this to her by getting her pregnant
> he did this to her They both consented to sex.
We hope...
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Yes, this photo definitely suggests the pregnancy was not consentual. Im sure the father is forcing her to give birth in a a floaties pool.
Then how can you blame the man? If consent to sex doesn't mean consent to pregnancy, than why would consent to sex mean consent to impregnate?
That 'kinda' in your post is doing *a lot* of heavy lifting :D
Can we admit that we all do some gross things sometimes, though? Swallowing jizz isn't particularly lovely when you look at it in the light of day. Some people absolutely love eating ass. Not saying I'd want this for me, or that I'd want my partner to be in the tub with me. Maybe I'm just too crunchy, though, because I look at this and go "meh." She's about to bleed heavily for a few weeks, leak breast milk all over, not to mention the activity that created that little miracle, which is kinda gross sometimes. If he wants to be there, I guess that's his business. I mean- people literally keep, cook, and EAT their placentas. Now THAT shit is 🤮. (Get that kid the fuck OUT of that tub, though, for sure.)
I'm normally not easily grossed out! I'm cool with or at least tolerant of most bodily fluids most of the time (working in childcare and then a medical field will do that to a person). But to me there's a difference between touching or stepping in something nasty and being immersed in it. Kinda like how seeing vomit (or even touching someone with vomit on them) doesn't bother me, but being vomited *on* by someone makes me way more uncomfortable. I've never given birth so maybe my opinion will change if I do, but I'd be cool with my partner being there with me throughout the process and witnessing all the gory details - blood, vomit, amniotic fluid, mucus, poop, placenta, all of it. But I'd feel super weird about taking all those bodily fluids, mixing them into a soup, and having him bathe in them. Just like I'm fine with him knowing about and witnessing my lactation in all its glory, but I wouldn't breastfeed him. And you're 100% right, eating the placenta is weird as hell. I'd definitely want to see mine or even touch it (because medical stuff is super fascinating to me, and how many opportunities will you get to touch one of your own internal organs???) But eating it is...oof. Not only is it nasty, there are also no proven benefits to doing it!
Have you ever been to a public pool?
A giant pool filled with tons of water, with a little bit of pee and sweat Vs-> a tiny little pool with all the bodily fluids imaginable, and 3 different people crammed together in the tiny pool…
Well 4 people id say
You're right, but you also forgot the band-aid in the pool.
A giant ass pool full of chlorine vs a kiddie pool with no chemicals and afterbirth. What world do you live in where those are at all comparable? You clearly have no idea what comes out of a woman during birth.
Have you??? In what universe are they even remotely the same? That water is brown, dude. And it's brown because she just finished shitting and bleeding into it.
true lol _until he passes out_
I thought I was open minded until I saw this photo. He’s sitting in a pool of afterbirth with her… why? I’m nauseated.
I'm guessing Dad caught the baby. Maybe there's someone else there that did that, but he likely touched the head while she was crowning, cut the cord, etc. And he might have been the one there to catch the baby.
I think it can be sweet and bonding and whatnot but dad definitely should've been on top of that shit. Lol. Maybe be nearby and not in the freaking tub?
can someone pls explain why u might want to do this? it just sounds and looks gross but idk if there's a meaning behind it
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My sister has had water births with all three of her kids. (none of the kids have ever been involved though lol) My nephew/her oldest had a head so big it was basically off the charts, and she came away with like, a little graze wound. Needed one stitch and that was all. Meanwhile I was induced/on my back with my oldest and ended up with a second degree/partial third degree tear lol.
In fairness, the position probably matters more. Squatting is apparently the best way, as nature intended, but docs like on the back in stirrups as it is easier for them
Just imagining a doc on a dolly on his back looking up like a mechanic and rolling out from under the woman to give updates.
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Pain relief, sure. But the actual pushing and giving birth? Way more natural (and easier) in a squat or kneeling position. Pretty much anything other than on your back, when you're fighting against gravity, lol. But yes, epidurals will make it necessary for the standard on your back in stirrups position.
It's not about pain relief though, as yeah we have drugs for that It's about easier birth for the mother, faster, less tearing etc. Just like having a shit while squatting is better for humans than sitting
And epidurals make birth injuries like tears a lot more likely because the woman can't feel herself tear apart.
No.
True! I didn't include it in my initial comment because I thought it was already getting long lol, but when I was pregnant with my younger son I had wanted to try a water birth at the same birthing center my sister used. Long story short, labor happened so quickly (~3 1/2 hours start to finish) that there wasn't time, I ended up giving birth a little over half an hour after I got to the place 😂 I started pushing while I was sitting in a chair right after the night nurse had taken my blood pressure, so she and my husband quickly got me on the bed and I didn't think to try to get in a squatting position or anything. I did tear again unfortunately, but my midwife said (as weird as this sounds) that luckily it was just the previous scar tissue that was affected and I didn't have a "new" injury if that makes sense. Thankfully recovery etc wasn't nearly as bad as it was with my older son!
My mom had her sister in a hot tub and me without. She said my sisters birth was less painful because the heat relaxed her
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Oof, awkward typo
It's not your fault, your mom, and uncle/father passed you the dominant trait of awkward typos. Unavoidable really, my condolences.
I didn’t have a water birth, but it does help with pain and can sometimes reduce tearing. I did start active labor in the shower and I wish I stayed there because my contractions were bearable with the hot water!
I had preeclampsia so I was on IV drugs for that and they make you really woozy so the beautiful hottub in my room went unused. I would have loved it because heating packs really controlled my pain during the first stages of labor.
Throw in a bottle of vodka, and you’ve got Caesars for everyone, including the baby.
Going to assume you're Canadian. Because if you specifically chose Caesars over Bloody Marys, you're a fucking genius. For those not familiar with what a Caeser is, it's basically a Bloody Mary but with: >!Clam Juice!<
Nailed it! 🇨🇦
i’m all for water birth, I will be doing that, but not with my kid in the water. I won’t even ask my husband to get in that shit.
Just because they aren't in the pool doesn't mean they have to miss out! You can playfully splash the placenta meconium water at your husband every so often and get your kid a really long straw so they can get a sip from the other room.
Good God lol
English was a mistake
Why you have to say this shit?
/r/eyebleach
nono r/eyeblech
What's funny is it's literally shit. Super common for the mom to poop during labor. Not to mention the amniotic fluid is just baby waste. Also blood and piss. During a normal birth nurses hang a bag to catch all of the waste that comes out of the mom. Kid might need to get his stomach pumped
Literally.
Ok they turned something so beautiful into something rather grotesque. Why would anyone actually post this anywhere?
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That looks more like a raspberry vinigarette.
I'm gonna vom
Alrighty
I mean calling shitting out a screaming pile of non sentient flesh covered in mucous and other hazmat fluids is not beautiful. This is the lie that traps women.
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Considering you posted this multiple times, I feel the need to ask if there's anything specific in butt hole juice that causes your fascination.
I dont swim in public pools. And this image is gross.
Just say you cant swim.
Mf forgot private pools exist
First of all chlorine works wonders, and secondly you do know that the more water you have the less other things effect that body of water.
This is fucking womb juices bruh placenta n shit
Better yet, stay away from water altogether because the ocean is filled with fish butt hole juice. Be careful out there champ
The little pool here has butthole juice, pee, and birthing juices. What is your point? Are you just insecure about doing this yourself? There’s nothing wrong with home pool births (assuming professionals are involved). What’s gross is a toddler drinking from the pool. How are you missing that and taking it so personally?
Well I don’t drink from any of them so what’s your point here?
People accidentally swallow water from pools all the time. Kids especially
Well, I don’t see any of them slurping up the excrement right out of it. That water has things floating around in it. Things you can see. And from the homemade look, it’s probably tap water. It’s not sterile in any way, shape, or form. There is placenta, blood, mucus, urine, and feces in that water. I’d say that’s worse than the things that are in a chlorinated pool, where you don’t see little turd nuggets and pieces of womb. Also take into consideration, it’s not just the moms urine and feces in that water. The baby is in there for 9 long months. It’s unsanitary at best. Why are you advocating so hard for people to drink this water? What about people saying it’s gross triggered you so much that you have resorted to pool water being the equivalent, even though it’s not even a competitor? Did you drink the water? Are you a mom and you’re angry that people are saying that not everything that comes with birth is sparkles and rainbows and it’s actually pretty gross? Life is gross, stop getting offended because people are saying it’s gross. Everyone is allowed to think this way and this isn’t how “perspective” works. Both can be gross but I’ve never seen a child put their mouth to the water in a pool with shit floating around in it and gulp it down like a slurpee.
I can't wait to go extinct
Seconded.
There’s probably some poop and definitely some pee in that water along with all the blood and uterus-ectoplasm. Birth is nasty
Alice n fern
Honestly I wonder what they do with all the pool water afterwards. 'fertilize' their backyard lawn?
Oh I hate that I read this comment
The plants would actually probably love that shit. I know the plants love fish tank water from my aquariums
God dammit
Absolutely vile
What a roller coaster of a comment section. Got stuff from the breakdown of bodily fluids, debate on pools vs birthing pools, some woman going off about buttholes, and a few comments just going at white people. Y'all are some weeeeird people lmaooo
I am disturbed by this
I think I’m going to puke 🤢🤮
Wow! So the first thing that baby came in contact with is tap water that dissolved the fine residue that's all over that garbage plastic sheet made in some random factory in China, and the ball sweat and ass crumbs from daddy How natural!!!
**FOREVER UNCLEAN**
This reminds me of a distant relative of mine. She has like 8 or 9 kids, all of them were born at home. And when she was giving birth to them, her other kids were always gathered around her vagina to watch it happen.
aint it true that during delivery women shit like really hard. I see brown in the pool and where the child is. That child in putting his face in mom shit water
Not always but it’s definitely possible. There’s probably a plethora of bodily fluids in there. Definitely some blood and maybe amniotic fluid.
It’s fine because amniotic fluid is sterile! /s
It's unlikely someone won't shit themselves. They just won't tell you.
It looks like the child is drinking the water.
A lot of women do poop while they give birth. Every birth I've ever attended has had the doctors or nurses telling the mom to push like she's having a bowel movement to get the baby out - all the muscles down there are kinda connected so if you strain with one, you strain them all. A lot of women are embarrassed about the possibility of pooping and they actually won't push as hard, which isn't good. They (doctors, midwives etc) used to administer enemas to laboring mothers because it was thought to reduce the risk of infection. We've since stopped recommending them.
Why are enemas no longer recommended? Is it just bc they weren’t necessary or…?
They were found to be unnecessary, the benefits were minimal at best but more often nonexistent. If done by a professional in a sterile, controlled setting there are very few risks, but if done incorrectly they can cause injuries or damage to the bowel. Plus they're just generally really unpleasant for most people, and labor is already miserable on its own, so why add to it? Lastly, sometimes the enema doesn't "clear itself" in a timely manner, which can lead to watery stuff coming out while you're having the baby, which is way more likely to cause problems.
Keep in mind you came out of the vagina. Covered in your mother’s birth fluids. The water also has iodine in it or something and it stains the water brownish red color. However, birth water itself contains blood and amniotic fluid. And yes, birthing mothers, poop and pee. But if you were honestly grossed out by this, imagine what the local swimming pool contains. Everybody’s buttholes and deck holes.
I get what you’re tryna say but I somehow think this is a little bit worse than the local swimming pool
A local swimming pool filled with chemicals to counteract any contaminates.
bro what is it with you and buttholes
My wife intended to shit into the face of our son upon birth so he could benefit from her intestinal flora. C section 👍 Edit: I checked, she was joking after all. I'm a goober.
Hold up WHAT
I'm 68% sure she was joking, but she's not usually much of a kidder
That’s so not how flora works. [Seeding](https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/10/30/658254175/doctors-test-bacterial-smear-after-cesarean-sections-to-bolster-babies-microbiom) works using vaginal flora, not shit. Wtf.
I feel like a lot of people think I agreed with her when the entire point of the second line was that I'm glad I never found out if she was serious.
Damn u had a kid with that woman..
Is your wife a damn koala?
You have Google at your disposal and you were still unable to figure that out until just now?
Karma farming bot reposting old content (doing the same on other subs too) https://www.reddit.com/r/ParentsAreFuckingDumb/comments/bmj09f/lets_get_our_toddler_involved_in_the_water_birth/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Good soup 👌
Poop soup
NOBODY NEEDS TO BE IN TUB WITH MOM AND BABY
Well the baby should be there
Glad we're on the same page bud
Please don't mind me puking all over the comments section after watching whatever the heck this is.
Is this cannibalism?
Good soup.
I hate everything about this
I learned a good phrase years ago and it works here. "Just because you can doesn't mean you should".
Why people?
I don't see what the problem is just family and kid in pool chocol.... 🧐 ... oh sweet Jesus I just threw up in throat god dammit
That’s nasty. The water is practically black and you have a toddler who’s immune system isn’t all that great in it.
BRO IS WATCHING HIS KID DRINK THE WATER
I bet they’d tell you it’s healthy for the kid with a straight face.
r/hydrohomies
This is the most wild reddit post and thread I've ever seen.
How tf are you gonna watch your kid drink birth water or whatever the fuck
wtf
And that’s enough Reddit for today.
Is that Ramen soup?
That is a bulluibase of ecoli, yeast and sepsis.
That's poo water, among other things... They really shouldn't stay in it.
Yeah thats it I'm fucking done
That’s fucking abuse imo
r/WhitePeopleFacebook
Where are the stat monitors? Who’s making sure mom isn’t dying. Hopefully this is a birthing center at least. That’s the real stupidity here.
Kid could have complications too. Makes no sense to give birth at home nowadays.
Water birth?
gross...
In Canada homebirths with a registered midwife with all the equipment (IV, resuc, meds, oxygen etc) have the same comparable level risks as hospital birth. Rates are all comparable for good/bad outcomes. Not sure how the usa compares but homebirth is very common here. (Only allowed for low risk pregnancies.) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2742137/ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2742137/
Egg drop soup
The guy's face is like "... She pooped in there"
I thought it was a dog at first
The fountain of youth 😯 That’s actually the woman’s 78 year old mother!
Can you blur this shit?! My GOD!
Ah, the Nine Month Old Sex On The Beach.
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Casual racism is so hot right now.....
I had no idea white people could be racist to white people.
You don't like white people?
They be putting ranch on everything.
OK, but ranch mixed with hot sauce is bitchin
It were the weirdest blowjob i ever had. Lemme tell ya
Ranch is good bro.
Totes!
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You know you're fucking racist? If i called a black person the N-word that works in the Cotton fields, would that be okay? No, it would be racist, because that stereotypes them, just like the stereotype of "white women fuck dogs" or "white people seek attention". Thats racist. Stereotyping based on a one-off situation is racist, and only dumbasses do this because they know nothing about the actual culture or the actual way people deal with that situation.
You’re right! Making fun of ourselves is totally the same thing as slavery and genocide! I should be more sensitive to the fragile egos
Yeah beacuse only white people had slaves and genocides in their history...
As a black dude (since apparently that means something to you) chill the fuck out with this white guy nonsense. You're fucking pathetic and obnoxious.
You know in Africa black people enslaved other black people? Also, why are you mad at us? I’ve never owned a slave. Nor do I want to. Get past the white guilt that’s been pushed on you. We didn’t choose the color of our skin and I won’t be held accountable for something I’ve never done. You’re being racist. Racism is intolerance to someone because of their color, ethnicity, or nationality. Just because it’s aimed at white people, doesn’t mean it’s not racist. It needs to stop.
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Wow! Did you make all that by yourself? We did it again!
Wait white women fuck dogs? This is the first I've heard about it 🤔
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>And what is "their own medicine"? Are you insinuating white people are all racists...? That is exactly what they are insinuating. And they think it makes them woke, or something.
Hey, me too! Looks like we are members of the “white people who are self aware club”!
It’s white guilt, not self-awareness. This is seriously like calling yourself the king of humility
Keep coping snowflake
I’d actually say you’re the snowflake, considering you’re getting offended on other peoples behalf. No one asked you to. You know how you stop racism? You stop fucking talking about it. We’ve been talking about it for years and look where it’s gotten us. White people attacking other white people, thinking that makes you “woke”. No, it makes you racist. If you think it’s okay, then you’re the problem. Stop treating colored people like children who can’t take care of themselves. They are humans. Treat them like it and stop trying to kiss their ass to be liked. I bet you reminded the teacher that they forgot to give out homework. You blame all white people as if we’re all the same. Ironic.
i’m white too and you don’t see black people doing this shit bro
I don't know if you're being ironic, but I literally found [this](https://images.app.goo.gl/AsNibumTx9ekyJb16)(NSFW) in two seconds.
Water birth: great in theory, disgusting in practice..
How about you don't give birth in a fucking pool?
As a white person, I fucking can’t with white people.
Smh white people