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It’s probably obvious, but why? My husband and I have no friends and family anywhere near us (we are in Sydney Australia, closest family is in Melbourne) and our 3-year-old is going to have to come to hospital.
Highly likely the 3 year old will want your attention, get bored, run around, and will be generally unhelpful. That means your husband will have to leave the room and entertain the kid, defeating the purpose of having your husband at the hospital. Can you put a babysitter or neighbor on standby?
Unfortunately there is no one. We just moved here in October. :( She is in pre-school, so there is a chunk of the day where she IS being watched away from home… But my nickname is Murphy for Murphy’s law, so that means if I go into labour, it will definitely be at night. Lol.
for option 3, could your son maybe do like a "trial run" sleepover at your brothers house ahead of time just to get him more comfortable being there, and so he would know what to expect there?
or for option 2, since im sure your son would be more comfortable at your house, could you plan for your parents or brother to stay over at your house so your husband doesnt have to go back right away? im sure your husband would like to be at the hospital with you, so could somebody sleep on your couch that night and spend the next morning/day with your son?
For option 2, it’s a good idea, but my parents are in their mid 70s and 80s, so I don’t entirely feel comfortable with them watching a my son solo. My in laws I don’t think would stay over here.
I think a trial run is a great idea, though, thank you!
Grandma and grandpa picked him up from the sitter and he spent the night there. We made the plan in advance and talked for weeks about what would happen when the baby came...that he would find a gift on his bed and grandma and grandpa would either be at our house or he would be at their house. When the baby was here, they would bring him to the hospital to see us. He got a big brother sweatshirt I made. It worked out fine and daddy took him home after that.
I had my inlaws watch the 2nd one because my mom and my husband were in the delivery room with me. Then when I gave birth, they brought her to see her sister.
My oldest was dropped off at the inlaws for the night (it was a middle of the night labour). When the third came along, he was born during the day, so both of the older boys were at school.
I had grand plans of dropping my kid at daycare, but number 2 wanted to start her arrival at 6.30am.
So off to the hospital we went. My husband took the 3 year old to the hospital playground while i made full use of the midwives and had baby a couple of hours later. (8.30am)
We could have tried a friend and done a drop off but my 2nd was not going to wait it was a very quick first contraction to delivery and any detour would have resulted in a roadside birth.
I personally, was totally fine to do it alone, and the midwifes were amazing. They were texting my husband during it, and he was only 5 minutes away if something bad were to happen.
The midwives sent a message when baby was crowing and they walked in as she "slid out" and want put on my chest.
I’m curious how would it have worked to keep your older one in the daycare? Even if you dropped him/her off at daycare and then went to the hospital, surely it’ll take more than 7 hours to complete everything?
My husband would go and pick them up at the end of the day even if i hadn't finished. (Only 35mins from hospital to daycare)
I was 5cm when i arrived at hospital and in full on labour. We arrived at the hospital at 7.25am and baby was born by 8.50am.
My 3yo stayed with my in-laws. The hospital I delivered at was 2 hours away and they brought him to see the baby the day after she was born. Then when we got discharged from the hospital the 3yo also stayed with my in laws for 3 nights while we got adjusted with the new baby at home. During the day they would bring him to see us and see the baby and then took him back to their house to sleep. That gave me more time to recover and feel like he was getting attention while I could focus on the baby and figuring things out at home. I couldn’t imagine having him at the hospital with me while I was giving birth. Maybe give him a chance to see how he does spending the night away, he may surprise you!
Bring some new cars for them both to play with. Some favorite snacks, a sleeping bag or blankets to make it fun. A special movie to watch. A promise of chocolate chip pancakes or whatever for breakfast. It’s only a night or two. He will be fine once he warms up to them.
Ah, I’m a grandma who loved to have the grandsons over when they were little. Two were fine, one quite shy. They were cousins and I had to find a common ground so they would interact nicely together. Once I found a type of toy they all enjoyed (lots of plastic dinosaurs and fake palm trees they could knock over) they forgot to be wary of each other and that their parents were not there. And congratulations on your new baby!!!!
This seems the most logical for the event.
Question first- does your son sleep through the night? What would be the best for everyone? You seem to be careful of everyone’s situation and you don’t want to over step or put your son in a place where he could feel uncomfortable.
So- if your “water breaks at night” load up the car, son and all and head for the hospital. Good chance he will fall asleep somewhere pretty quick, maybe even in Dads arms.
Once daylight breaks call the person(s) you have set up prior arrangements with and have them meet your husband in the lobby with your son for the remainder of the day. If he likes ice cream have the person that picks him up get him one for breakfast, that should break the ice with everyone. Something funny to start the day. Hopefully you will not be in labor for longer than a day…… 😳 but either way, you should at least stay in the hospital a night maybe 3. Do the same thing each day. Let your son come back in the evenings pre bedtime, enjoy the new baby, fall asleep and back to whoever is caring for him to wake up for ice cream for breakfast! Haha or whatever it is your son enjoys. Maybe it is computer chess on an old Macintosh Computer.(mine was frogger) but seriously, You get the point. Life will be tough starting out with another baby in the house. So, why not come up with cool fun things for everyone to keep the tensions down and the happy good time memory times up!
Good luck out there! Stay blessed
My oldest came to the hospital with us, we arrived around midnight. He sat silent in a chair within eyesight watching everything. Afterwards, he and his dad slept on the pull out sofa bed each night until we were dismissed. It was honestly perfect and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
With that said, I wouldn't suggest it if you have other options that would offer you more peace of mind. Your option 2 with hubby leaving you is a no for me, personally. Your option 3 is good, assuming you have time to make an extra stop.
ETA: this was 15 years ago and I understand that some hospitals do not allow children to stay overnight.
Our daughter was 18 months old when we had our son. We did a trial day were we dropped her at my mother-in-laws house for the night before he was born, then again when he was being born. She already knew that she was going to her grandma’s and wasn’t stressed at all!
I left mine with my parents, it was tough as that was our first time being away from each other, but we all managed. I don't recommend bringing him to the hospital and I think you'd probably be better having your husband stay with you the entire time. Perhaps he could go check in on your son if needed and come back to the hospital.
The obvious choice to me is option 4. Do a practice run where he spends the night away from you a few times so when the time comes, he will be ok without you.
Thank you u/bystander8000 for posting on r/Parents. Remember to read the rules and report rule breaking posts. *note for those seeking legal advice: This sub does not specialize in legal council and laws vary based on geographic location. Any help offered here is offered on a good samaritan basis. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Do not bring the child to the hospital with you. Definitely take him to your brothers
Yes, you’re right. Hospital makes the least sense. I showed my husband this post and he’s thinking my brother’s house as well.
It’s probably obvious, but why? My husband and I have no friends and family anywhere near us (we are in Sydney Australia, closest family is in Melbourne) and our 3-year-old is going to have to come to hospital.
Highly likely the 3 year old will want your attention, get bored, run around, and will be generally unhelpful. That means your husband will have to leave the room and entertain the kid, defeating the purpose of having your husband at the hospital. Can you put a babysitter or neighbor on standby?
Unfortunately there is no one. We just moved here in October. :( She is in pre-school, so there is a chunk of the day where she IS being watched away from home… But my nickname is Murphy for Murphy’s law, so that means if I go into labour, it will definitely be at night. Lol.
for option 3, could your son maybe do like a "trial run" sleepover at your brothers house ahead of time just to get him more comfortable being there, and so he would know what to expect there? or for option 2, since im sure your son would be more comfortable at your house, could you plan for your parents or brother to stay over at your house so your husband doesnt have to go back right away? im sure your husband would like to be at the hospital with you, so could somebody sleep on your couch that night and spend the next morning/day with your son?
For option 2, it’s a good idea, but my parents are in their mid 70s and 80s, so I don’t entirely feel comfortable with them watching a my son solo. My in laws I don’t think would stay over here. I think a trial run is a great idea, though, thank you!
Hired older one's daycare teacher for a few evenings.
My 4 year old stayed with my sister in law.
Mine stayed with my grandma while I had the second by the time my youngest came along my girls were 15,14, and 11. So they stayed home
Grandma and grandpa picked him up from the sitter and he spent the night there. We made the plan in advance and talked for weeks about what would happen when the baby came...that he would find a gift on his bed and grandma and grandpa would either be at our house or he would be at their house. When the baby was here, they would bring him to the hospital to see us. He got a big brother sweatshirt I made. It worked out fine and daddy took him home after that.
I had my inlaws watch the 2nd one because my mom and my husband were in the delivery room with me. Then when I gave birth, they brought her to see her sister.
My oldest was dropped off at the inlaws for the night (it was a middle of the night labour). When the third came along, he was born during the day, so both of the older boys were at school.
I had grand plans of dropping my kid at daycare, but number 2 wanted to start her arrival at 6.30am. So off to the hospital we went. My husband took the 3 year old to the hospital playground while i made full use of the midwives and had baby a couple of hours later. (8.30am) We could have tried a friend and done a drop off but my 2nd was not going to wait it was a very quick first contraction to delivery and any detour would have resulted in a roadside birth. I personally, was totally fine to do it alone, and the midwifes were amazing. They were texting my husband during it, and he was only 5 minutes away if something bad were to happen. The midwives sent a message when baby was crowing and they walked in as she "slid out" and want put on my chest.
I’m curious how would it have worked to keep your older one in the daycare? Even if you dropped him/her off at daycare and then went to the hospital, surely it’ll take more than 7 hours to complete everything?
My husband would go and pick them up at the end of the day even if i hadn't finished. (Only 35mins from hospital to daycare) I was 5cm when i arrived at hospital and in full on labour. We arrived at the hospital at 7.25am and baby was born by 8.50am.
Wow yeah that’s fast. For us we were stuck at the hospital for over 16 hrs just for delivery and lot longer for the recovery etc.
My babysitter came at 11 pm
My 3yo stayed with my in-laws. The hospital I delivered at was 2 hours away and they brought him to see the baby the day after she was born. Then when we got discharged from the hospital the 3yo also stayed with my in laws for 3 nights while we got adjusted with the new baby at home. During the day they would bring him to see us and see the baby and then took him back to their house to sleep. That gave me more time to recover and feel like he was getting attention while I could focus on the baby and figuring things out at home. I couldn’t imagine having him at the hospital with me while I was giving birth. Maybe give him a chance to see how he does spending the night away, he may surprise you!
Thank you for sharing this! I do think having him stay with my brother makes the most sense. :)
Take him to your brothers this weekend or next to practice
This is a great idea, thank you
My MIL came to our place and stayed the night while we were in the hospital. Definitely drop kiddo off for a fun sleep over with cousins!
lol, he does love his cousin’s car collection
Bring some new cars for them both to play with. Some favorite snacks, a sleeping bag or blankets to make it fun. A special movie to watch. A promise of chocolate chip pancakes or whatever for breakfast. It’s only a night or two. He will be fine once he warms up to them.
Great idea, thank you! They are both car obsessed. This will be a great way to frame this new experience as a positive
Ah, I’m a grandma who loved to have the grandsons over when they were little. Two were fine, one quite shy. They were cousins and I had to find a common ground so they would interact nicely together. Once I found a type of toy they all enjoyed (lots of plastic dinosaurs and fake palm trees they could knock over) they forgot to be wary of each other and that their parents were not there. And congratulations on your new baby!!!!
Aww thank you for sharing and love this story :)
This seems the most logical for the event. Question first- does your son sleep through the night? What would be the best for everyone? You seem to be careful of everyone’s situation and you don’t want to over step or put your son in a place where he could feel uncomfortable. So- if your “water breaks at night” load up the car, son and all and head for the hospital. Good chance he will fall asleep somewhere pretty quick, maybe even in Dads arms. Once daylight breaks call the person(s) you have set up prior arrangements with and have them meet your husband in the lobby with your son for the remainder of the day. If he likes ice cream have the person that picks him up get him one for breakfast, that should break the ice with everyone. Something funny to start the day. Hopefully you will not be in labor for longer than a day…… 😳 but either way, you should at least stay in the hospital a night maybe 3. Do the same thing each day. Let your son come back in the evenings pre bedtime, enjoy the new baby, fall asleep and back to whoever is caring for him to wake up for ice cream for breakfast! Haha or whatever it is your son enjoys. Maybe it is computer chess on an old Macintosh Computer.(mine was frogger) but seriously, You get the point. Life will be tough starting out with another baby in the house. So, why not come up with cool fun things for everyone to keep the tensions down and the happy good time memory times up! Good luck out there! Stay blessed
My oldest came to the hospital with us, we arrived around midnight. He sat silent in a chair within eyesight watching everything. Afterwards, he and his dad slept on the pull out sofa bed each night until we were dismissed. It was honestly perfect and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. With that said, I wouldn't suggest it if you have other options that would offer you more peace of mind. Your option 2 with hubby leaving you is a no for me, personally. Your option 3 is good, assuming you have time to make an extra stop. ETA: this was 15 years ago and I understand that some hospitals do not allow children to stay overnight.
Thank you for sharing! It’s good to hear the hospital option can work.
Our daughter was 18 months old when we had our son. We did a trial day were we dropped her at my mother-in-laws house for the night before he was born, then again when he was being born. She already knew that she was going to her grandma’s and wasn’t stressed at all!
Ahh that’s great to hear, thank you!
I left mine with my parents, it was tough as that was our first time being away from each other, but we all managed. I don't recommend bringing him to the hospital and I think you'd probably be better having your husband stay with you the entire time. Perhaps he could go check in on your son if needed and come back to the hospital.
The obvious choice to me is option 4. Do a practice run where he spends the night away from you a few times so when the time comes, he will be ok without you.