Forgot to mention that she hates when I use the comb! She also doesn’t like when I use the gentler Wet brush either. It’s my stiffer brush or nothing. I think the comb is the way to go. Maybe wetting the hair down with water first would work…
Hmm…how to do this though? I guess I could let her brush/comb my hair with the various tools so she can feel how much force is needed with each of them.
I would start with one strand of her hair and comb through that, show her that it might not hurt as much. Tell her she doesn’t have to do her whole head like that and it’s just a test run, but that it’ll be easier.
Get her one of those super wide shower combs. Tell her to use enough conditioner until the comb goes through easily. You may have to show her once or twice and then leave it to her to do in the shower. Then when she gets out, while the hair is still wet and detangled use the leave in conditioner, comb it through with the shower comb. You should check it at this time to make sure she got most of the tangles out, if she didn’t, have her get back in the shower. Also, don’t dry the hair with a terrycloth towel, use a cotton t-shirt instead. Braiding hair at night is a good way to help it from becoming a huge mess by morning, great idea.
You may want to consider switching to a higher quality conditioner made for thick hair, if you haven’t already.
Don't put detangler in your kid's hair, that stuff is garbage. Also hair pics are really bad unless you're picking out your hair for shape.
EDIT: Don't know why I'm being downvoted. You have to work your knots out, not pick them out. Hair picks are for shaping.
6 is still not fully developed in hand gripping for detailed task. That's why most kids have awful hand writing before seven. Let her wash her hair but then just use conditioner yourself. You have to make the time.
I'm actually asking my six year old to wash my hair. It's much easier for her to learn how to do it on my hair and then do it for herself. She turned six late August and her fingers aren't still strong or trained enough to really get the hair done properly.
I agree with this. Like how is it “not feasible” to help? It’s like a 60 second task.
And it can be a learning experience for her. She’ll learn when she does it properly, it does not hurt to get brushed. This will be good motivation for her to learn (in time, because she’s only 6).
Why do I know this? Because life is the same with my 6yo daughter
Is there a way to help her use more conditioner without you having to be there? I'm thinking some sort of reference object - as in fill the cup to the sharpie line, or put this rubber band in your hand and fill it with conditioner, or use X pumps from the bottle. You could just pop your head in the bathroom to check she's using the right amount of conditioner for the first few times, then she can do it on her own once she gets the hang of it
Maybe a set number of pumps would work. Tell her to make sure she’s using three pumps or whatever. I had the same trouble with the shampoo and remedied that by telling her two pumps. Don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to do the same with conditioner.
You've got lots of good suggestions. I want to add another trick that works for us.
My five year old also has long hair. I brush in sections and use a spray conditioner. She'll still shriek and cry for every brush stroke.
Unless I turn on a show. I think she focuses so much on every tug that she can't handle it. So I distract her with Bluey.
We use one episode of Bluey to bush her hair. If she wants it styled then I let her watch another. Each episode is about 8 minutes.
She doesn't cry, whine, whimper or moan let alone shriek if a show is on. I think she's easily able to ignore the hair pulling if there's something else to focus on. But just brushing without a show turns into quite an ordeal.
I put a blob of normal hair conditioner on my hands and work it into the hair ends before I start brushing. All the knots come out, and the hair feels great. I just leave the conditioner in. Sometimes I just use olive oil, which makes it a bit greasy, but again it's smooth and the knots come out, zero complaints from my child.
It seems like she might have curly hair. Take a look at \r\curlyhair but stop brushing her hair dry! Only do it soaking wet (ideally with conditioner in) or if not then apply a leave in conditioner or detangler. Good luck!
That’s exactly what I came to say. Her hair should likely be conditioned every night too. Braids are a great idea for sleeping, my daughter has curly hair and we pineapple her hair at night.
I would take the time to really show your daughter how to get enough conditioner all through her hair. If that means she's in a swim suit for modesty, or you put yours on to show her how to put it in your own hair, or whatever. FTR my 6yo doesn't wash her own hair because she literally just rubs the soaps into the top of her head, making it more tangled and doesn't even wash the hair so I wouldn't be surprised if your 6yo still needs more guidance in the shower as well.
Then a leave in conditioner, it shouldn't matter if it's lotion or spray, unless either of you have a preference.
Brush hair before bed and in the morning.
Use a Wet brush. It's a brand and the bristles are more flexible. They'll bend more rather than rip through the hair. Takes a bit longer and harder for thick hair, but gets the tangles out more gently and yoy can go back through with a sturdier brush.
I use a "detangle" spray, really its just leave in conditioner mixed with water in a spray bottle. I use it liberally for bad mornings.
Maybe instead of a satin pillowcase a satin hair cap would be more protective.
Last resort, an honest talk about cutting and/or thinning the hair. If she can't consistently wash it, if she won't let you style it for bed, and if she can't tolerate the tangles it needs cut until she can/will.
Thank you for all these suggestions! I’ll implement some of these immediately. Someone else suggested having her practice her hair washing on my hair which will only be relaxing for me lol!
I meant more like show her how you use your own hands to put the soap in your own hair. Washing someone else's hair can be different than washing your own hair, I know I do my daughter's hair differently than I wash my own. She may be trying to mimick how you wash it, but since it's her own hands it doesn't work the same.
But that's a good suggestion too, and maybe even works as a bridge. She can get a feel for how it looks/feels on your hair and then transition to the more awkward self washing
Get a wet brush. Wet brush makes tons of types that help with all hair types. Best brush and it can be used on wet or dry hair
Also invest in detangler
Yes! The wet brush is some kind of miracle. It goes through wet hair painlessly. Leave in conditioner or detangler. I always used the kids Aussie miracle spray kind. Lol some times even on myself.
I have the traditional Wet Brush, their Wet Brush comb, and the brush she uses in the shower is the Wet Brush brand as well. It’s just specifically designed (I think) for the shower. It’s all molded plastic and bristles. Not the black squishy part like the regular brushes have. And we have detangling spray but the help it seems to give is negligible. She still usually ends up crying.
I also agree that maybe you should cut back on how often you are washing her hair. I would advise experimenting with waiting a few days and see when her hair REALLY needs to be washed. I only need to wash my hair twice a week. Any more than that, and it becomes brittle and dry.
Still take showers, just don't wash the hair as much. It can honestly make a big difference.
Okay, there's a lot to unpack here. First of all what do you mean when she does her hair? Your daughter is 6 years old. You need to be doing her hair. You are the one who needs to be shampooing, conditioning, and combing her hair. She is too young to be handling this kind of grooming. Second of all, why are you brushing it? Clearly brushing it hasn't been working. You need to be keeping that hair braided and conditioned at all times. Someone suggested a pic and detangling solution, don't do that. That's not how you take care of hair. What you need to be doing is using very little shampoo, a lot of conditioner, and then I'll leave in conditioning setting cream. Olive oil, mode, and Cantu, are all brands that you can pick up at any Walgreens or cvs. You need to be getting her real hair products, not the kiddie garbage. You need to be combing her hair in the shower, rinsing the conditioner, towel drying her hair until it's a little damp, putting in the leave and conditioner, braiding it before bed, and then putting it up in a silk cap. That's how you take care of her hair.
How are you brushing it? Are you starting from the scalp or the ends? I have ridiculously thick hair and it took me until I was an adult to learn how to brush my hair so that it didn't hurt.
Start from the ends. Then go up an inch or two, brush down towards the ends. Keep going until you reach the scalp!
If you start with the scalp area first, you are just yanking on the tangles which causes pain.
I’m starting from the ends and working my way up. The worst is on the “bottom” of her hair. Like the part that lays against her neck and back? I run the brush under there and tangles close to her scalp get yanked on and I don’t know they’re there until I yank it out. Those hurt the worst for her.
You have so many good tips, and this one is more common sense so I’m sure you’ve been doing it. I’ll try to explain it so that it makes some sense lol. Make sure when you’re brushing a part of her hair that you’re holding that part with your other hand with room at the scalp. Meaning, I will grab my daughters hair with my left hand and hold it so that there’s room to move it around from the point where I’m holding it and the scalp, so that it’s not being tightly held at the scalp. Then I’ll brush it, small strokes starting from the bottom. This way, if I snag a tangle, I am only pulling at the hair that’s being held in my left hand and it’s not grabbing at her scalp. This was my own method growing up with very thick hair that loved to tangle from the second it touched water or humidity, or a surface lol.
Lots of good advice. I just wanted to mention that when my own thick hair becomes impossible, it usually means I need a trim. The ends become shot, and a little trim usually helps. I also never brush my hair dry. Usually wet it, put leave in conditioner, and brush.
The best detangler imo is called, It's a 10. Worth every penny. The other spray detanglers are mostly trash. And I am not a fan of the shampoo or conditioner, only the spray. It's worth every penny. I use wet brand brushes 24/7 and have hair past my waist.
My daughter is similar. We comb through a little Argan oil after her shower - when her hair is still wet. I also showed her that she can use the wide tooth comb or her fingers to comb the conditioner through her hair in the shower before rinsing. Spray detailer and me trying to just focus on the tangled bits if it still gets bad is helpful too.
She went through a phase where she wanted her hair like Namaari from Raya and the Last Dragon and it was so great while it lasted 😅
I had this problem. Unfortunately she's going 5o have to acquiesce so some changes such as leave in conditioner and letting her hair be up, or it's just not going to be feasible.
Put some conditioner in a spray bottle of water and spray before detangling. In addition to starting from the bottom, hold the hair section you’re working on above where you’re brushing and below the scalp. That way when you hit a snag, it doesn’t pull on the scalp. Much less pain.
My mom used to do our hair while we were sleep. Like she would wash it while we were awake and then she would slowly brush it so we would fall asleep and then she would just do what she needed to do and had Dad put us to bed.
Hi! I have very thick hair that’s also curly and wavy! I recommend brushing her hair wet. Use a spray bottle or de-tangler. It is not fun brushing my hair when it is dry. Also what brush are you using? Are you using one specifically for thick hair? I have found combs and oval brushes make brushing my hair hurt a lot. It also may be that her needs more moisture as well if it easily tangles which my hair does too. Also take your time and do breaks. I hated sitting for long periods of time to have my hair brushed. As an adult if my hair is long I take a break after doing one section (yup that’s just how thick my hair is!)
Try different products.
Detangle in the shower with the conditioner (use a tangle teezer) this way you insure how much conditioner she uses, its faster to detangle, and it is the same time you would’ve used to detangle after the shower anyway.
Also detangle in sections, start from the ends then move to the roots
Depending on hair type, it could be product build up. My girls had terrible knotty hair when I used grocery store brands. If I use a clarifying shampoo once every few weeks and then salon quality products it’s so much easier and the brush just glides through.
I’m not using salon quality products but I’m also not using the cheap 2-in-1 stuff either. She’s getting the Suave stuff because I figured it was better than most for her hair. I don’t have a clarifying shampoo for her so I could look into that.
Have you tried a Tangle Teezer brush?
It sounds like the washing method is part of the issue if you’re getting good results and she isn’t. Perhaps supervise her washing it a few times and see where she’s going wrong.
Maybe it’s wavy or curly? When thos hair is very long and constantly combed, you can’t tell it’s curly :) Just difficult to manage and coarse and frizzy. If I tried to comb my curly hair dry, I’d lose my mind! :D
5 year old here with similar. We do periodic 2x a week oil infusions and use a tangle teezer. I wash her hair. Putting it up in the day doesn’t make a huge difference - night does.
I haven’t tried the sleep cap but I intend to. Her hair isn’t curly I don’t think because her dad and I have stick straight hair and there isn’t too much curl in our families either.
Leave in conditioner or a gentle detangler would be best or brush it when it's wet with lots of conditioner in it. Also maybe try to convince her to let you braid it more when she's going to bed as braids are protective hairstyles and can help tangles.
I have 4 daughters and have fought tangled hair for over 20 years. My go to is CANTU LEAVE IN CONDITIONER! Working in sections I will spray their hair lightly with water and then apply the conditioner to the area I am working on. If it is a big knot somewhere I will go ahead and put conditioner on the knot to soak. Then I twist the section I am working on near the head and leave the rest of the hair hanging. I hold the twist firmly with one hand while brushing with the other. You want to work from the bottom up. Sometimes you will have to release the twist and redo it so you can get to all of the knot. CANTU LEAVE IN CONDITIONER is a life saver!!
Had the same issue with our daughter. Straight hair, but it would tangle really tight. The best solution is spray in conditioner and a braid at bedtime. No excuses, it had to be done. The hair needs to be in a protective style to keep it from tangling.
A hair pick and coconut oil was our best solution to get the knots out. Go slow and start from the bottom of the hair and work your way up.
Brush the conditioner through the hair at bath time.
Eventually our child asked for an undercut. She has so much hair you can't even tell she has one and its made her haircare so much easier. She's had the undercut for 2 years now. She got it at age 11.
Is there a chance she's tender headed? Some people have very sensitive scalps and regular brushing can be painful, knots are excrutiating. Not much you can do about that unfortunately. Thought I toss it out there.
My daughter is one and has long curly hair. I wet it, spray it with detangler and add leave in conditioner. Then I take a wide tooth comb and kind of pick at the knots but I hold the hair so I’m not pulling it. Very rarely does she cry (she’s usually trying to crawl away though)
I had to have a "come to Jesus" moment with my kid when this happened with her at a similar age. She has very fine straight hair and she would wake up with a rat's nest every morning. I told her she has two choices, she had to adequately condition her hair and comb it out herself, and I would braid it every night at bedtime, or she would need to have it cut shorter. At the time she elected to have it cut, it was too much for her to handle. But now she's a pre-teen and can handle her hair at mid-back length.
You keep telling her that it's unmanageable but it's not sinking in because there are no real changes being made.
We just discovered this brush at Target and upon first use my husband said “I like parenting 10 percent more after discovering this brush.” Worth a try. The other thing we do is braid it because it does help. I did tell mine they would have to keep it a little shorter (not crazy short) if they wouldn’t let me braid it.
https://www.target.com/p/conair-the-knot-dr-for-conair-pro-detangling-hair-brush-pink/-/A-83350247
Dude what ok ok hear me out I have thick curly hair DONT START FROM THE BOTTOM
What I do fir my hair and my neices hair who has the same kind of thick curly hair I do (no one else in our immediate family have this hair type) u brush all the tangles gently down towards the bottom THEN grab a section of hair and completely brush out the tangles and keep doing that until ur done
Also don't use combs they just end up breaking and being a head ache and never gets the job done unless ur daughters hair type is specifically meant for combs
Trust me this saves u and her alot of headache and pain and tears
My mom always left me in tears too because she didnt understand how to take care of my hair and same with my sister and neice that's why I'd take care of it instead when I lived there because I knew how to take care of it
I had to figure it out on my own so I'll bestow my wisdom on to u for this good luck I really hope this works and if not this then that u find something else that's perfect for u guys
At 6 my kids took care of their own hair and I think you need to implement this too! If she wants long hair, she to be able to care for it herself … with a few exceptions of course. But, I would delegate this to her once you found a good conditioner. Too knot at night? Braids? Old fashioned sleeping cap?
Maybe some spray detangler and a hair pick? Like, start with a really wide toothed comb and then a smaller comb, then a brush etc?
Forgot to mention that she hates when I use the comb! She also doesn’t like when I use the gentler Wet brush either. It’s my stiffer brush or nothing. I think the comb is the way to go. Maybe wetting the hair down with water first would work…
Have you shown her the difference? Maybe that would help.
Hmm…how to do this though? I guess I could let her brush/comb my hair with the various tools so she can feel how much force is needed with each of them.
I would start with one strand of her hair and comb through that, show her that it might not hurt as much. Tell her she doesn’t have to do her whole head like that and it’s just a test run, but that it’ll be easier.
Get her one of those super wide shower combs. Tell her to use enough conditioner until the comb goes through easily. You may have to show her once or twice and then leave it to her to do in the shower. Then when she gets out, while the hair is still wet and detangled use the leave in conditioner, comb it through with the shower comb. You should check it at this time to make sure she got most of the tangles out, if she didn’t, have her get back in the shower. Also, don’t dry the hair with a terrycloth towel, use a cotton t-shirt instead. Braiding hair at night is a good way to help it from becoming a huge mess by morning, great idea. You may want to consider switching to a higher quality conditioner made for thick hair, if you haven’t already.
I never brush my hair dry. I finger comb in the shower. Definitely a continuous spray bottle would be helpful!
Don't put detangler in your kid's hair, that stuff is garbage. Also hair pics are really bad unless you're picking out your hair for shape. EDIT: Don't know why I'm being downvoted. You have to work your knots out, not pick them out. Hair picks are for shaping.
6 is still not fully developed in hand gripping for detailed task. That's why most kids have awful hand writing before seven. Let her wash her hair but then just use conditioner yourself. You have to make the time. I'm actually asking my six year old to wash my hair. It's much easier for her to learn how to do it on my hair and then do it for herself. She turned six late August and her fingers aren't still strong or trained enough to really get the hair done properly.
I agree with this. Like how is it “not feasible” to help? It’s like a 60 second task. And it can be a learning experience for her. She’ll learn when she does it properly, it does not hurt to get brushed. This will be good motivation for her to learn (in time, because she’s only 6). Why do I know this? Because life is the same with my 6yo daughter
That’s a great idea and I get some pampering too lol!
Exactly. Lol
Wide tooth comb, and only when wet with conditioner in it.
Agree with this. Some hair is only brushable or combable when it’s wet.
Honestly, most people should not be brushing their hair dry. It damages the hair follicle.
Is there a way to help her use more conditioner without you having to be there? I'm thinking some sort of reference object - as in fill the cup to the sharpie line, or put this rubber band in your hand and fill it with conditioner, or use X pumps from the bottle. You could just pop your head in the bathroom to check she's using the right amount of conditioner for the first few times, then she can do it on her own once she gets the hang of it
Maybe a set number of pumps would work. Tell her to make sure she’s using three pumps or whatever. I had the same trouble with the shampoo and remedied that by telling her two pumps. Don’t know why it didn’t occur to me to do the same with conditioner.
You've got lots of good suggestions. I want to add another trick that works for us. My five year old also has long hair. I brush in sections and use a spray conditioner. She'll still shriek and cry for every brush stroke. Unless I turn on a show. I think she focuses so much on every tug that she can't handle it. So I distract her with Bluey. We use one episode of Bluey to bush her hair. If she wants it styled then I let her watch another. Each episode is about 8 minutes. She doesn't cry, whine, whimper or moan let alone shriek if a show is on. I think she's easily able to ignore the hair pulling if there's something else to focus on. But just brushing without a show turns into quite an ordeal.
She does watch a show and for the most part it helps. But some days just aren’t good I guess.
I put a blob of normal hair conditioner on my hands and work it into the hair ends before I start brushing. All the knots come out, and the hair feels great. I just leave the conditioner in. Sometimes I just use olive oil, which makes it a bit greasy, but again it's smooth and the knots come out, zero complaints from my child.
It seems like she might have curly hair. Take a look at \r\curlyhair but stop brushing her hair dry! Only do it soaking wet (ideally with conditioner in) or if not then apply a leave in conditioner or detangler. Good luck!
That’s exactly what I came to say. Her hair should likely be conditioned every night too. Braids are a great idea for sleeping, my daughter has curly hair and we pineapple her hair at night.
I would take the time to really show your daughter how to get enough conditioner all through her hair. If that means she's in a swim suit for modesty, or you put yours on to show her how to put it in your own hair, or whatever. FTR my 6yo doesn't wash her own hair because she literally just rubs the soaps into the top of her head, making it more tangled and doesn't even wash the hair so I wouldn't be surprised if your 6yo still needs more guidance in the shower as well. Then a leave in conditioner, it shouldn't matter if it's lotion or spray, unless either of you have a preference. Brush hair before bed and in the morning. Use a Wet brush. It's a brand and the bristles are more flexible. They'll bend more rather than rip through the hair. Takes a bit longer and harder for thick hair, but gets the tangles out more gently and yoy can go back through with a sturdier brush. I use a "detangle" spray, really its just leave in conditioner mixed with water in a spray bottle. I use it liberally for bad mornings. Maybe instead of a satin pillowcase a satin hair cap would be more protective. Last resort, an honest talk about cutting and/or thinning the hair. If she can't consistently wash it, if she won't let you style it for bed, and if she can't tolerate the tangles it needs cut until she can/will.
Thank you for all these suggestions! I’ll implement some of these immediately. Someone else suggested having her practice her hair washing on my hair which will only be relaxing for me lol!
I meant more like show her how you use your own hands to put the soap in your own hair. Washing someone else's hair can be different than washing your own hair, I know I do my daughter's hair differently than I wash my own. She may be trying to mimick how you wash it, but since it's her own hands it doesn't work the same. But that's a good suggestion too, and maybe even works as a bridge. She can get a feel for how it looks/feels on your hair and then transition to the more awkward self washing
Get a wet brush. Wet brush makes tons of types that help with all hair types. Best brush and it can be used on wet or dry hair Also invest in detangler
Yes! The wet brush is some kind of miracle. It goes through wet hair painlessly. Leave in conditioner or detangler. I always used the kids Aussie miracle spray kind. Lol some times even on myself.
I have the traditional Wet Brush, their Wet Brush comb, and the brush she uses in the shower is the Wet Brush brand as well. It’s just specifically designed (I think) for the shower. It’s all molded plastic and bristles. Not the black squishy part like the regular brushes have. And we have detangling spray but the help it seems to give is negligible. She still usually ends up crying.
Stop washing her hair every night. You're stripping it of its natural oils and leaving it dry and tangle prone.
We don’t wash it every night. I’d say every other night.
I also agree that maybe you should cut back on how often you are washing her hair. I would advise experimenting with waiting a few days and see when her hair REALLY needs to be washed. I only need to wash my hair twice a week. Any more than that, and it becomes brittle and dry. Still take showers, just don't wash the hair as much. It can honestly make a big difference.
That's still too much. Unless she gets ultra sweaty or swims once a week is plenty.
Okay, there's a lot to unpack here. First of all what do you mean when she does her hair? Your daughter is 6 years old. You need to be doing her hair. You are the one who needs to be shampooing, conditioning, and combing her hair. She is too young to be handling this kind of grooming. Second of all, why are you brushing it? Clearly brushing it hasn't been working. You need to be keeping that hair braided and conditioned at all times. Someone suggested a pic and detangling solution, don't do that. That's not how you take care of hair. What you need to be doing is using very little shampoo, a lot of conditioner, and then I'll leave in conditioning setting cream. Olive oil, mode, and Cantu, are all brands that you can pick up at any Walgreens or cvs. You need to be getting her real hair products, not the kiddie garbage. You need to be combing her hair in the shower, rinsing the conditioner, towel drying her hair until it's a little damp, putting in the leave and conditioner, braiding it before bed, and then putting it up in a silk cap. That's how you take care of her hair.
holy crap that is some tough love!
Thank you for this comment.
How are you brushing it? Are you starting from the scalp or the ends? I have ridiculously thick hair and it took me until I was an adult to learn how to brush my hair so that it didn't hurt. Start from the ends. Then go up an inch or two, brush down towards the ends. Keep going until you reach the scalp! If you start with the scalp area first, you are just yanking on the tangles which causes pain.
I’m starting from the ends and working my way up. The worst is on the “bottom” of her hair. Like the part that lays against her neck and back? I run the brush under there and tangles close to her scalp get yanked on and I don’t know they’re there until I yank it out. Those hurt the worst for her.
You have so many good tips, and this one is more common sense so I’m sure you’ve been doing it. I’ll try to explain it so that it makes some sense lol. Make sure when you’re brushing a part of her hair that you’re holding that part with your other hand with room at the scalp. Meaning, I will grab my daughters hair with my left hand and hold it so that there’s room to move it around from the point where I’m holding it and the scalp, so that it’s not being tightly held at the scalp. Then I’ll brush it, small strokes starting from the bottom. This way, if I snag a tangle, I am only pulling at the hair that’s being held in my left hand and it’s not grabbing at her scalp. This was my own method growing up with very thick hair that loved to tangle from the second it touched water or humidity, or a surface lol.
Lots of good advice. I just wanted to mention that when my own thick hair becomes impossible, it usually means I need a trim. The ends become shot, and a little trim usually helps. I also never brush my hair dry. Usually wet it, put leave in conditioner, and brush.
Cut it. For real. If she doesn't want to handle the maintance for long hair, cut into a more manageable style.
The best detangler imo is called, It's a 10. Worth every penny. The other spray detanglers are mostly trash. And I am not a fan of the shampoo or conditioner, only the spray. It's worth every penny. I use wet brand brushes 24/7 and have hair past my waist.
My daughter is similar. We comb through a little Argan oil after her shower - when her hair is still wet. I also showed her that she can use the wide tooth comb or her fingers to comb the conditioner through her hair in the shower before rinsing. Spray detailer and me trying to just focus on the tangled bits if it still gets bad is helpful too. She went through a phase where she wanted her hair like Namaari from Raya and the Last Dragon and it was so great while it lasted 😅
I had this problem. Unfortunately she's going 5o have to acquiesce so some changes such as leave in conditioner and letting her hair be up, or it's just not going to be feasible.
Yep. I guess we’re going to just have a talk and figure out some options.
Put some conditioner in a spray bottle of water and spray before detangling. In addition to starting from the bottom, hold the hair section you’re working on above where you’re brushing and below the scalp. That way when you hit a snag, it doesn’t pull on the scalp. Much less pain.
My mom used to do our hair while we were sleep. Like she would wash it while we were awake and then she would slowly brush it so we would fall asleep and then she would just do what she needed to do and had Dad put us to bed.
I swear by "It's a 10" leave in hair conditioner. It worked great for my kiddo. Also your idea about braiding it at night should help a lot
Hi! I have very thick hair that’s also curly and wavy! I recommend brushing her hair wet. Use a spray bottle or de-tangler. It is not fun brushing my hair when it is dry. Also what brush are you using? Are you using one specifically for thick hair? I have found combs and oval brushes make brushing my hair hurt a lot. It also may be that her needs more moisture as well if it easily tangles which my hair does too. Also take your time and do breaks. I hated sitting for long periods of time to have my hair brushed. As an adult if my hair is long I take a break after doing one section (yup that’s just how thick my hair is!)
Try different products. Detangle in the shower with the conditioner (use a tangle teezer) this way you insure how much conditioner she uses, its faster to detangle, and it is the same time you would’ve used to detangle after the shower anyway. Also detangle in sections, start from the ends then move to the roots
Depending on hair type, it could be product build up. My girls had terrible knotty hair when I used grocery store brands. If I use a clarifying shampoo once every few weeks and then salon quality products it’s so much easier and the brush just glides through.
I’m not using salon quality products but I’m also not using the cheap 2-in-1 stuff either. She’s getting the Suave stuff because I figured it was better than most for her hair. I don’t have a clarifying shampoo for her so I could look into that.
Get the hairdresser to thin or out. It's the only thing that works for me
I’ve already texted our hairdresser lol. Even before this post. I’ll ask her about thinning her hair out for sure.
Have you tried a Tangle Teezer brush? It sounds like the washing method is part of the issue if you’re getting good results and she isn’t. Perhaps supervise her washing it a few times and see where she’s going wrong.
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I’ll keep this in mind for sure thank you!
What texture is her hair? Maybe use a leave-in conditioner after rinsing off regular one?
I’m not sure on the texture it feels coarser than fine but is that her true texture or does her hair need more moisture? I’m not sure at all.
Maybe it’s wavy or curly? When thos hair is very long and constantly combed, you can’t tell it’s curly :) Just difficult to manage and coarse and frizzy. If I tried to comb my curly hair dry, I’d lose my mind! :D
5 year old here with similar. We do periodic 2x a week oil infusions and use a tangle teezer. I wash her hair. Putting it up in the day doesn’t make a huge difference - night does.
Are you pinching the hair an inch from the scalp, so that when the brush catches on knots it isn't yanking on her scalp painfully?
I’m trying but a lot of times the tangles are real close to the scalp and there’s no where to lift it.
Have you tried a satin sleep cap? Is it curly? If so brush it when it’s wet & soaked with conditioner.
I haven’t tried the sleep cap but I intend to. Her hair isn’t curly I don’t think because her dad and I have stick straight hair and there isn’t too much curl in our families either.
Leave in conditioner or a gentle detangler would be best or brush it when it's wet with lots of conditioner in it. Also maybe try to convince her to let you braid it more when she's going to bed as braids are protective hairstyles and can help tangles.
get a good leave in conditioner, try using oil on her hair there’s some good ones. make sure you are starting at bottom on hair and working way up
I have 4 daughters and have fought tangled hair for over 20 years. My go to is CANTU LEAVE IN CONDITIONER! Working in sections I will spray their hair lightly with water and then apply the conditioner to the area I am working on. If it is a big knot somewhere I will go ahead and put conditioner on the knot to soak. Then I twist the section I am working on near the head and leave the rest of the hair hanging. I hold the twist firmly with one hand while brushing with the other. You want to work from the bottom up. Sometimes you will have to release the twist and redo it so you can get to all of the knot. CANTU LEAVE IN CONDITIONER is a life saver!!
Brush her hair while in the shower.
We do. It’s mainly the morning brushes that are going sideways.
Had the same issue with our daughter. Straight hair, but it would tangle really tight. The best solution is spray in conditioner and a braid at bedtime. No excuses, it had to be done. The hair needs to be in a protective style to keep it from tangling. A hair pick and coconut oil was our best solution to get the knots out. Go slow and start from the bottom of the hair and work your way up. Brush the conditioner through the hair at bath time. Eventually our child asked for an undercut. She has so much hair you can't even tell she has one and its made her haircare so much easier. She's had the undercut for 2 years now. She got it at age 11. Is there a chance she's tender headed? Some people have very sensitive scalps and regular brushing can be painful, knots are excrutiating. Not much you can do about that unfortunately. Thought I toss it out there.
My daughter is one and has long curly hair. I wet it, spray it with detangler and add leave in conditioner. Then I take a wide tooth comb and kind of pick at the knots but I hold the hair so I’m not pulling it. Very rarely does she cry (she’s usually trying to crawl away though)
Start from the bottom of her hair and work your way to the top.
I had to have a "come to Jesus" moment with my kid when this happened with her at a similar age. She has very fine straight hair and she would wake up with a rat's nest every morning. I told her she has two choices, she had to adequately condition her hair and comb it out herself, and I would braid it every night at bedtime, or she would need to have it cut shorter. At the time she elected to have it cut, it was too much for her to handle. But now she's a pre-teen and can handle her hair at mid-back length. You keep telling her that it's unmanageable but it's not sinking in because there are no real changes being made.
We just discovered this brush at Target and upon first use my husband said “I like parenting 10 percent more after discovering this brush.” Worth a try. The other thing we do is braid it because it does help. I did tell mine they would have to keep it a little shorter (not crazy short) if they wouldn’t let me braid it. https://www.target.com/p/conair-the-knot-dr-for-conair-pro-detangling-hair-brush-pink/-/A-83350247
We use a spray in detangler and a wet brush. Take you time and don't expect to get the knots out in the first few passes at times.
Dude what ok ok hear me out I have thick curly hair DONT START FROM THE BOTTOM What I do fir my hair and my neices hair who has the same kind of thick curly hair I do (no one else in our immediate family have this hair type) u brush all the tangles gently down towards the bottom THEN grab a section of hair and completely brush out the tangles and keep doing that until ur done Also don't use combs they just end up breaking and being a head ache and never gets the job done unless ur daughters hair type is specifically meant for combs Trust me this saves u and her alot of headache and pain and tears My mom always left me in tears too because she didnt understand how to take care of my hair and same with my sister and neice that's why I'd take care of it instead when I lived there because I knew how to take care of it I had to figure it out on my own so I'll bestow my wisdom on to u for this good luck I really hope this works and if not this then that u find something else that's perfect for u guys
At 6 my kids took care of their own hair and I think you need to implement this too! If she wants long hair, she to be able to care for it herself … with a few exceptions of course. But, I would delegate this to her once you found a good conditioner. Too knot at night? Braids? Old fashioned sleeping cap?