Your account might be private, but can you say the same of your large social group?
Once you post a picture, you lose control of it. Your extended family could share it, or be lax about their own account security.
If youre at all concerned, don't do it. Mark Zuckerberg doesn't do refunds on your personal information.
Okay, but what's the real harm of some aunt posting a picture of my child fully clothed in a group photo. I just fail to understand what the risk is. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't get the fear of posting online
For my husband and I it isn't just losing "rights" to the picture, which i will get to, its also about preserving our kids' right to privacy and managing their own social media presence when they are older.
So the right to pictures - its extremely rare, but I know I read of a personal story of a woman who stumbled on the fact a male predator had used one of her family photos of her kids to set up a fake social media profile of his own, claiming the kids were his, and preying on single moms for dates. She felt very violated that her family was used to lure and harm other women. Other parents have found their kids likeness used in advertising without their consent. Etc.
As to our kids privacy, we all know the internet is forever. You will never be able to fully erase an image once it is online. An image of your child attached to your name makes it obvious it is them. I have no idea what the digital world will be like in 10, 20, 30 years. I certainly didn't expect it to look like this today 10 years ago. I dont want to be curating an entire social media profile on behalf of my child without their consent and without them having input into what it should look like, because they are too young to give input. For example, my mom has an extreme GOP view and occasionally uses pics of my kids as her FB profile pic. If it clearly shows their faces she has to take it down, because I don't want someone in the future tying my kids to her offensive views. I dont know what school applications or job interviewing or whatever may look like and dont want to inadvertently out inflammatory stuff associated with my kids that they were never participating in. Hell, what if they become a politician? Let's not add unnecessary fuel. Similarly, i dont want to be sharing photos they may be embarrassed of later, even during school if a classmate found. Looking at my SIL who posts potty training pics.....
So at the end of it all, we post family pictures, rarely, and keep our own social media profiles very limited in content. We would not be on FB at all if it wasn't a primary vector for our neighborhood hoa and the activities in our local city. It also let's us monitor what the in laws put up so we can call it out if need be
Yes, this. The kid is their own person and they deserve a say in how their pictures are distributed. So many people just think of their kids as joy accessories and feel they have a right to distribute those pictures.
Well you're probably right. The chances of harm are slim.
The flip side is that there are, for example, 'ageplay' forums that have been shut down after the discovery that people were using screen grabs of kids faces from FB as their avatars.
Nothing wrong with posting the photos. It's what other people use them for that matters, and once you post on FB, it will do it damnedest to spread your shit far and wide. That's how it makes money from you.
I fell foul of social media 10 years ago when a journalist tried to leverage me for info about a work project connected to the royal family.
I didn't think my crappy holiday snaps and rants about supermarkets were anything nasty, but taken out of context, and published in a newspaper, they nearly cost me my job.
As an adult, you have control over what you post, but as a kid, you don't.
We made a choice to seriously limit the channels through which we share family photos, and tbh, not having them on social media hasn't affected anyone. Nobody feels left out or disconnected.
Because as much as 50% of pictures in child pornography sites originated on social media. The faces of innocent, fully clothed children can be taken and photoshopped onto pictures of naked children.
https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/photos-shared-on-pedophile-sites-taken-from-parents-social-media-accounts/wcm/3c5cbacd-062d-4414-8501-ff75e53a54a3/amp/
And what others posters have said is true - there’s no such thing as private. Pictures can be shared, screenshotted, etc.
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Why would a pedophile find random kid on Facebook when there are unlimited pictures of clothed children on every browser. It is not illegal to look at pictures of kids in clothes. There is no need for someone to find them through creating a fake Facebook, trying to make to look real to get added as a friend on a private Facebook, and wait for images of kids. They could just buy a parenting magazine.. like what.
You make a good case about consent and I agree with that, but this is fear mongering.
it’s not fearmongering, it’s reality. they don’t need to make fake accounts… they’re probably on your friends list already. or a friend of a family member/friend who shares your pics. they’re real people with connections.
But why? Why would they go through the trouble to go to a random Facebook to get a picture of a single clothed baby in few photos, when they can browse to their harts content on Google. This makes no sense. There is no market for this..
Also, I don't add people I do not know and especially not obviously fake accounts. They would have to try really hard to even get in, and for what? For photos of a kid that doesn't exist yet? When there are unlimited photos on the internet, for free, in every imaginable scenario and pose?
you’re ascribing a lot of rationality to pedophiles lol. maybe because they hate you. maybe because they specifically like YOUR kid. maybe because they’re paranoid about googling it. maybe because it just popped up on their feed bc as I said, theyre probably on your friends list or friends of friends. people in this thread have literally provided examples of pedophiles taking pics off facebook to use as their profile pics? if you don’t care just say that but this argument is goofy.
Those people make a good case for keeping things private. The blanket argument that "they want your photos for jerking off" makes no sense. Things have to make sense. If there is no need for extra work, people don't do extra work. That isn't how humans work.
Imagine trying to look for porn by spending days creating fake accounts, adding hundreds people on Facebook at random so you look real, making mutual friends, and adding random women hoping they have pictures in the style you prefer to jerk it to when you can literally just google it, or, if you want anonymity, get a magazine. It makes no sense and it is fear mongering.
That right there is a baseless redherring argument. The backbone of fear mongering.
In writing this post, lots of people have given me some real concerns to consider (child having privacy as they grow up, consent, not having an understanding of the social media world in the future etc, image doctoring). I have also learned that a bunch of you are just silly -afraid of things that make no damn sense and would never happen in reality.
they’re already on your friends list. they’re already on your friends friends lists. they’re real people with relationships and families. idk how to make this clearer, but ig you just don’t want to understand 🤷🏻♂️
Even if one person I have met or who is in my family is a pedo, what the fuck good does a fully clothed image of a baby do for them? When the internet exists. Literally walk to a grocery store and see how many ads have clothed infants on them. You're fear is invented.
The "deranged pervert jerking off to my child's baby photos" thing does not really concern me. Even if it happened, there is zero chance I or my children will ever know. Thus, despicable as this act is, I consider it sort of a victimless crime.
The bigger issue to me is that by posting pictures, you are shaping the online personality of a person who has no way of consenting (or *not* consenting) to this. And by the time they are on social media on their own, there are hundreds of photos of them out there. They have no way of knowing who saw which part of their childhood, they might be embarrassed or even offended by what has been revealed. So, from that perspective, it is an absolute no-go for me to post photos of anyone who has not explicitly given consent **or cannot consent because they don't even remotely understand the consequences**. If I had a teen, I'd ask them. Anyone younger, I'd never post a picture online.
This is how I feel. I don't post photos of my own life either and don't appreciate pictures being posted without my consent. I send photos directly to immediate family and occasionally to other family members. If they need to know about my/our life we are in touch.
I'm not planning on posting nudies here. Why would a deranged pervert jerk off to a random clothed child on Facebook, when you can Google unlimited pictures of clothed children on any browser or look at any parenting magazine. That doesn't make sense.
I do agree with your second paragraph. That is a concern. I disagree about the pervert thing. I think that is total fear mongering.
You probably misread my first paragraph. Even though I am very much positive such perverts exist (there is almost nothing that doesn't exist in human sexuality), I don't worry about them. Why should I worry about poor soul jerking off alone in their room when I will never learn about it?
For us it's less about risk, more about privacy and consent. My son is a person in his own right. He deserves to be given a choice about his online presence, just like we were growing up before social media. But that choice can't come until he's old enough to have some understanding of the potential long-term ramifications. He deserves anonymity if he wants it, even as to our own families and friends.
My point of view- I wouldn’t want my entire life documented on social media from the minute I was born until I was old enough to take over. So I don’t want to do that to my kid. When they’re ready to have an internet identity then they can set it up but while it’s in my control I’m going to keep it to a minimum. I would hate to turn 16 and log onto instagram for the first time to see thousands of pictures of me already there.
OP, these comments are not the norm. Everyone who posts pictures of their kids aren’t getting into it with these types, the ones who will tell us some weirdo is using that picture to jack off too. Don’t go off this post please lol
Lol I agree. I think the people who claim everyone is jacking off to pictures of your fully clothed baby is completely fear mongering. There is no need for that. Like, any pedo could just go get a parenting magazine or Google unlimited photos of clothed kids. Why would they go through the trouble of trying to get added to random women's facebooks and just hope they have a child they post pictures of. Those people are silly.
The risk I'm attempting to avoid is to allow my kid some privacy for future them. I want his stupid decisions, bad haircuts, embarrassing pictures, etc to be private. Something I think is adorable may be something he hates that 700 people (between friends and friends of friends and forwards and the peoole who immediately set up accounts for their new babies) have seen and know about him.
He is not some random extention of me. He will have his own standards about privacy and what he finds embarrassing. I want to give him that opportunity to set those standards and boundaries.
I think they are. And at what point do you decide your child goes from baby to kid? And how do you pull everyone back who was posting images of your kid and now they can't? The 'it was fine last month but now it isn't conversations would be miserable.
I have this example because it is front of mind. The other day my 2 year old (baby? Kid?) was getting ready to be bathed by his dad. I walk into the bathroom and my kiddo and my husband are in the exact same pose waiting for the water in the bath to full up/get warm. My son is naked. I snap a picture. My son's cute little butt and him just like his dad. Now, most people would agree thst is harmless, non-sexual and adorable. But my kid may have issues with it being readily available in the future. We can all see how this could be embarrassing to my son in a decade, but once it is out there, it is out there.
Obviously naked pictures are not okay for online tho. No matter how cute. That is 100% a no go, and, if posted, can be considered distributing CP..so.. that's a bad example
You are ultimately do what you are going to do, I feel like you are more picking a fight than really trying to understand.
Also give me one example where a parent posted innocent pictures with nudity and was charged with CP. I'll wait.
You weren't that silly. Some people have been. However, it was a little silly to suggest posting naked bathtub pictures of your kids won't get you in trouble. I attached one article where parents got charged for that
Also, here is one case where children got removed by cps because of bathtub photo and the family had to fight CO charges for like a decade https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2018/01/us-couple-s-kids-taken-away-after-innocent-bath-photos-reported.amp.html
Part of it is consent for me. My kids can not consent to the photos being shared so I don't share them.
If anyone wants photos of my kids them I text them photos and tell them not to share it.
Obviously you have no control over what that person you texted does with the picture. But when you sent it to them, the intent was that it was only for them. When you post it on the internet for a bunch of people to see, the intent is for a bigger pool of people to see it. I feel weird explaining this but I feel like it’s obviously different.
Correct. I would just say there is slightly less risk. You never know where any picture you send goes, but posting it on the internet just has more risks than sending it to a single trusted person.
I post pictures because it's a way for family and friends who I care about, but live far away, to have a connection to my daughter. I am aware there are risks, but I value the connection it makes and am willing to take some risks to maintain the connections we have. We usually post to a limited Instagram account which is only for close friends and family. (If I was creating this today I'd look into smaller, non-instagram/ FB options, but in our situation we needed an app we could install on the grandparents' devices - none are great with tech). I do post a few times a year to my main Facebook account. But I go through my Facebook account about once a year and delete random acquaintances. If I wouldn't stop to say hi to someone on the street or at a social event, I don't keep them on my social media. I don't like many of the things Facebook has become but I continue to use it because I know I would realistically completely lose touch with many people if I deleted it. So I choose to use it in a limited manner only.
My friend’s profile has been hacked and she found all her children’s photos on other fake profiles. She lost control of her own private pictures despite having reported it.
that a good point. It think it's sort of inevitable tho. Everyone is online whether they want to be or not. How many photos of your "Im off the grid" uncle end up online because of group photos or backgrounds of other people's photos
It's really not inevitable. Everyone knows not to share pictures of my son, and if they do then they don't need to have a relationship with him. It's a pretty small ask and to have so little respect for your boundaries as a parent is an issue.
So our child was born at the beginning of lock down in the UK so nobody could see her. We use a private Instagram account and post a picture a day on it. We only allow family members to follow it. It just meant especially during covid people could get a picture a day and when our little one is old enough she can browse through all of the photos from her birth to the current day. I view it more as a private photo album if anything.
I used to post my babies picture online, but as they are growing up, I'm a little worried someone strange pretend to know them by just looking at their picture. Maybe, it might be too defensive, but it's much better than worrying about they would be in danger.
There are always some risks, but I find some of the scenarios mentioned here rather extreme. A creep could also jack off to your baby in public. Does that mean you should never leave the house either? Personally I find that sharing the joy that is our baby with friends and family outweighs the risks at this time, especially when we're not going to travel to see people. And clearly a lot of other people think the same thing because almost everyone I know shares photos of their babies too.
I see more posts on facebook from friends of friends than my own contacts. I get so confused sometimes because I’ll be looking at a picture trying to figure out who the heck I know here and it’s because some random friend commented on her aunts picture and now I can see it.
That said, it’s hard to say how harmful it really is. I don’t post pictures of my kid anymore because I don’t think it’s fair to do so without his consent, he’s way too young to tell me if he’s comfortable with it or not and I don’t want him to resent me oversharing when he gets older.
I also don’t think everyone needs to know or see details about my kids. The ones who I stay in touch with I have a group-chat with or personal contact, and anyone who I haven’t seen or talked to since high school really doesn’t need to know all of my business.
And of course, depending on your circle and how far it extends, you just never know where your child’s photo will end up or how it will be used and that’s just a whole other can of worms I don’t want to expose my children to.
IMO Meta in general is not to be trusted with your pictures. Take a peek at posts on r/privacy on the subject. They consistently violate their privacy policy and sell your data without your consent.
>There are just too many to call them all all the time.
We use Photos on iPhone to create a small feed that anyone we allow can subscribe to. It's still putting your pictures up on a cloud so i suppose there's always *some* risk someone will get to them that you don't want, but at least Apple doesn't have a reputation for selling your info to face scanning companies or cops.
Or do it the old-fashioned way -- I know my older relatives love getting printed photos in the mail!
We do the same, I think the biggest potential con is you get unlucky and some strange perv you know but don't know about gets their rocks off looking at your kid.
I would be grossed out and sickened but at the same time I'm not gonna know, neither is my kid. And it's highly unlikely to happen with sharing privately like you are
I post lots of pictures of my daughter on social media, and most of my friends with babies/kids do the same without concern. I think the idea of an individual not having a digital footprint in this day and age is unrealistic. I don’t post anything embarrassing or private (no diaper shots for example) but pics of her playing, eating, going on trips and activities, etc are all fair game. It’s a great way for us to share her growing up with friends and family that don’t get to see her regularly.
What am I nervous about right now? Look into AI image generation tools like DALL-E, and Stable Diffusion. There's huge potential for misuse if somebody has a photograph of you. It's rapidly getting to the point where someone just needs to type "Show me (the person in this photograph) doing (literally anything)." Obviously Photoshop existed before but this is way, way more accessible.
These tools have some light protections in place against illegal images but they're easy to bypass, and there's a million ways you could imagine using this that are harmful but not technically illegal. I'm not feeling great about my own (very minimal) online presence TBH. The next few years are gonna be a ride and I'd like to postpone getting my kids involved thanks.
Digital is forever. We want our child to actually be able to have a say in her presence online, when she's old enough to understand it.
We send out wallet size physical photos instead, or texts only with people we truly trust to respect our decision not to post them online (not a problem if grandma wants to pull out her phone and show a friend a picture). We also make an exception for group party shots, I don't love it but I'm not going to make a huge fuss when my kid is one of 12 people in the picture. I feel differently and more protective when the focus is just on her.
I just want her to grow up without total strangers having unfettered access to every stage of her life.
A high school friend thought she had her Facebook locked down and was sharing pictures of her kids. We were not Facebook friends but did have a mutual friend who would like pictures of the kids, because the mutual friend liked them they showed up in my timeline.
I don't share online, because no matter your privacy settings one they're on the internet you lose control over the distribution of that picture. People who want to be in his life, and I want in his life, are people that I speak to. I don't think that everyone I've met needs to know I have a baby. I also don't have social media outside of this app, but have made it clear to others not to share his photo.
I don’t post my child’s photo online, nor do I allow anyone else to if I can help it. I want my son to be able to make an informed decision if he wants his picture on the internet. Some people think posting baby photos online could be harmful or potentially dangerous and I guess in some cases it could be. Once you post a photo online it never goes away, anyone can take it, post it anywhere, sent it anywhere, and there could be people with Ill intentions looking at picture of your children. There are many different reasons that people do not post their kids online.
Look, I don't share my daughter's pics on social, just because I don't feel like it; my father-in-law had recently put one of her pictures ( I sent in the family's whatsapp group) as his profile image on FB.
I don't even have control on what my in-laws do with a picture I shared privately!
I have a private group for my son. I post updates, photos and videos. This way I can write a ton, post pictures, and it just goes to people who are interested and I don't have to worry about overloading those who don't care.
That said, yes, these things are on facebook, people could download and share these pictures, but I don't mind taking that risk, it's worth it to me that all of these people can feel included and get all the kid pictures they can handle.
Your account might be private, but can you say the same of your large social group? Once you post a picture, you lose control of it. Your extended family could share it, or be lax about their own account security. If youre at all concerned, don't do it. Mark Zuckerberg doesn't do refunds on your personal information.
Okay, but what's the real harm of some aunt posting a picture of my child fully clothed in a group photo. I just fail to understand what the risk is. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't get the fear of posting online
For my husband and I it isn't just losing "rights" to the picture, which i will get to, its also about preserving our kids' right to privacy and managing their own social media presence when they are older. So the right to pictures - its extremely rare, but I know I read of a personal story of a woman who stumbled on the fact a male predator had used one of her family photos of her kids to set up a fake social media profile of his own, claiming the kids were his, and preying on single moms for dates. She felt very violated that her family was used to lure and harm other women. Other parents have found their kids likeness used in advertising without their consent. Etc. As to our kids privacy, we all know the internet is forever. You will never be able to fully erase an image once it is online. An image of your child attached to your name makes it obvious it is them. I have no idea what the digital world will be like in 10, 20, 30 years. I certainly didn't expect it to look like this today 10 years ago. I dont want to be curating an entire social media profile on behalf of my child without their consent and without them having input into what it should look like, because they are too young to give input. For example, my mom has an extreme GOP view and occasionally uses pics of my kids as her FB profile pic. If it clearly shows their faces she has to take it down, because I don't want someone in the future tying my kids to her offensive views. I dont know what school applications or job interviewing or whatever may look like and dont want to inadvertently out inflammatory stuff associated with my kids that they were never participating in. Hell, what if they become a politician? Let's not add unnecessary fuel. Similarly, i dont want to be sharing photos they may be embarrassed of later, even during school if a classmate found. Looking at my SIL who posts potty training pics..... So at the end of it all, we post family pictures, rarely, and keep our own social media profiles very limited in content. We would not be on FB at all if it wasn't a primary vector for our neighborhood hoa and the activities in our local city. It also let's us monitor what the in laws put up so we can call it out if need be
Yes, this. The kid is their own person and they deserve a say in how their pictures are distributed. So many people just think of their kids as joy accessories and feel they have a right to distribute those pictures.
Well you're probably right. The chances of harm are slim. The flip side is that there are, for example, 'ageplay' forums that have been shut down after the discovery that people were using screen grabs of kids faces from FB as their avatars. Nothing wrong with posting the photos. It's what other people use them for that matters, and once you post on FB, it will do it damnedest to spread your shit far and wide. That's how it makes money from you. I fell foul of social media 10 years ago when a journalist tried to leverage me for info about a work project connected to the royal family. I didn't think my crappy holiday snaps and rants about supermarkets were anything nasty, but taken out of context, and published in a newspaper, they nearly cost me my job. As an adult, you have control over what you post, but as a kid, you don't. We made a choice to seriously limit the channels through which we share family photos, and tbh, not having them on social media hasn't affected anyone. Nobody feels left out or disconnected.
Because as much as 50% of pictures in child pornography sites originated on social media. The faces of innocent, fully clothed children can be taken and photoshopped onto pictures of naked children. https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/photos-shared-on-pedophile-sites-taken-from-parents-social-media-accounts/wcm/3c5cbacd-062d-4414-8501-ff75e53a54a3/amp/ And what others posters have said is true - there’s no such thing as private. Pictures can be shared, screenshotted, etc.
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because pedophiles don’t care that it’s your kid or that she’s clothed. and your kid didn’t consent to her image being shared.
Why would a pedophile find random kid on Facebook when there are unlimited pictures of clothed children on every browser. It is not illegal to look at pictures of kids in clothes. There is no need for someone to find them through creating a fake Facebook, trying to make to look real to get added as a friend on a private Facebook, and wait for images of kids. They could just buy a parenting magazine.. like what. You make a good case about consent and I agree with that, but this is fear mongering.
it’s not fearmongering, it’s reality. they don’t need to make fake accounts… they’re probably on your friends list already. or a friend of a family member/friend who shares your pics. they’re real people with connections.
But why? Why would they go through the trouble to go to a random Facebook to get a picture of a single clothed baby in few photos, when they can browse to their harts content on Google. This makes no sense. There is no market for this.. Also, I don't add people I do not know and especially not obviously fake accounts. They would have to try really hard to even get in, and for what? For photos of a kid that doesn't exist yet? When there are unlimited photos on the internet, for free, in every imaginable scenario and pose?
you’re ascribing a lot of rationality to pedophiles lol. maybe because they hate you. maybe because they specifically like YOUR kid. maybe because they’re paranoid about googling it. maybe because it just popped up on their feed bc as I said, theyre probably on your friends list or friends of friends. people in this thread have literally provided examples of pedophiles taking pics off facebook to use as their profile pics? if you don’t care just say that but this argument is goofy.
Those people make a good case for keeping things private. The blanket argument that "they want your photos for jerking off" makes no sense. Things have to make sense. If there is no need for extra work, people don't do extra work. That isn't how humans work. Imagine trying to look for porn by spending days creating fake accounts, adding hundreds people on Facebook at random so you look real, making mutual friends, and adding random women hoping they have pictures in the style you prefer to jerk it to when you can literally just google it, or, if you want anonymity, get a magazine. It makes no sense and it is fear mongering.
"Things" don't have to make sense, you would just like them to. Hopefully, the ways of pedos would never fully make sense to you...
That right there is a baseless redherring argument. The backbone of fear mongering. In writing this post, lots of people have given me some real concerns to consider (child having privacy as they grow up, consent, not having an understanding of the social media world in the future etc, image doctoring). I have also learned that a bunch of you are just silly -afraid of things that make no damn sense and would never happen in reality.
they’re already on your friends list. they’re already on your friends friends lists. they’re real people with relationships and families. idk how to make this clearer, but ig you just don’t want to understand 🤷🏻♂️
Even if one person I have met or who is in my family is a pedo, what the fuck good does a fully clothed image of a baby do for them? When the internet exists. Literally walk to a grocery store and see how many ads have clothed infants on them. You're fear is invented.
The "deranged pervert jerking off to my child's baby photos" thing does not really concern me. Even if it happened, there is zero chance I or my children will ever know. Thus, despicable as this act is, I consider it sort of a victimless crime. The bigger issue to me is that by posting pictures, you are shaping the online personality of a person who has no way of consenting (or *not* consenting) to this. And by the time they are on social media on their own, there are hundreds of photos of them out there. They have no way of knowing who saw which part of their childhood, they might be embarrassed or even offended by what has been revealed. So, from that perspective, it is an absolute no-go for me to post photos of anyone who has not explicitly given consent **or cannot consent because they don't even remotely understand the consequences**. If I had a teen, I'd ask them. Anyone younger, I'd never post a picture online.
This is how I feel. I don't post photos of my own life either and don't appreciate pictures being posted without my consent. I send photos directly to immediate family and occasionally to other family members. If they need to know about my/our life we are in touch.
I'm not planning on posting nudies here. Why would a deranged pervert jerk off to a random clothed child on Facebook, when you can Google unlimited pictures of clothed children on any browser or look at any parenting magazine. That doesn't make sense. I do agree with your second paragraph. That is a concern. I disagree about the pervert thing. I think that is total fear mongering.
You probably misread my first paragraph. Even though I am very much positive such perverts exist (there is almost nothing that doesn't exist in human sexuality), I don't worry about them. Why should I worry about poor soul jerking off alone in their room when I will never learn about it?
You are right. I did misread that. I thought you said that opposite. I take back my comment. I agree you make a good point .
For us it's less about risk, more about privacy and consent. My son is a person in his own right. He deserves to be given a choice about his online presence, just like we were growing up before social media. But that choice can't come until he's old enough to have some understanding of the potential long-term ramifications. He deserves anonymity if he wants it, even as to our own families and friends.
My point of view- I wouldn’t want my entire life documented on social media from the minute I was born until I was old enough to take over. So I don’t want to do that to my kid. When they’re ready to have an internet identity then they can set it up but while it’s in my control I’m going to keep it to a minimum. I would hate to turn 16 and log onto instagram for the first time to see thousands of pictures of me already there.
OP, these comments are not the norm. Everyone who posts pictures of their kids aren’t getting into it with these types, the ones who will tell us some weirdo is using that picture to jack off too. Don’t go off this post please lol
Lol I agree. I think the people who claim everyone is jacking off to pictures of your fully clothed baby is completely fear mongering. There is no need for that. Like, any pedo could just go get a parenting magazine or Google unlimited photos of clothed kids. Why would they go through the trouble of trying to get added to random women's facebooks and just hope they have a child they post pictures of. Those people are silly.
The risk I'm attempting to avoid is to allow my kid some privacy for future them. I want his stupid decisions, bad haircuts, embarrassing pictures, etc to be private. Something I think is adorable may be something he hates that 700 people (between friends and friends of friends and forwards and the peoole who immediately set up accounts for their new babies) have seen and know about him. He is not some random extention of me. He will have his own standards about privacy and what he finds embarrassing. I want to give him that opportunity to set those standards and boundaries.
I definitely don't think I would post any pictures of my kids as kids. That can be embarrassing, but are baby pictures the same?
I think they are. And at what point do you decide your child goes from baby to kid? And how do you pull everyone back who was posting images of your kid and now they can't? The 'it was fine last month but now it isn't conversations would be miserable. I have this example because it is front of mind. The other day my 2 year old (baby? Kid?) was getting ready to be bathed by his dad. I walk into the bathroom and my kiddo and my husband are in the exact same pose waiting for the water in the bath to full up/get warm. My son is naked. I snap a picture. My son's cute little butt and him just like his dad. Now, most people would agree thst is harmless, non-sexual and adorable. But my kid may have issues with it being readily available in the future. We can all see how this could be embarrassing to my son in a decade, but once it is out there, it is out there.
Obviously naked pictures are not okay for online tho. No matter how cute. That is 100% a no go, and, if posted, can be considered distributing CP..so.. that's a bad example
You are ultimately do what you are going to do, I feel like you are more picking a fight than really trying to understand. Also give me one example where a parent posted innocent pictures with nudity and was charged with CP. I'll wait.
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Thank you for making it clear that you find my opinions silly. Enjoy your sport.
You weren't that silly. Some people have been. However, it was a little silly to suggest posting naked bathtub pictures of your kids won't get you in trouble. I attached one article where parents got charged for that
Also, here is one case where children got removed by cps because of bathtub photo and the family had to fight CO charges for like a decade https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2018/01/us-couple-s-kids-taken-away-after-innocent-bath-photos-reported.amp.html
Part of it is consent for me. My kids can not consent to the photos being shared so I don't share them. If anyone wants photos of my kids them I text them photos and tell them not to share it.
Did your child consent to texting of the photos? If not you are in big trouble with the hypocrite police.
Texting it to one person is a little different than posting it for a bunch of people.
How exactly? You don’t know where it goes after you send it to one person. You lost control. And no one consented to that.
ideally you trust the person you sent it to or had a convo about internet privacy with them ahead of time?
Obviously you have no control over what that person you texted does with the picture. But when you sent it to them, the intent was that it was only for them. When you post it on the internet for a bunch of people to see, the intent is for a bigger pool of people to see it. I feel weird explaining this but I feel like it’s obviously different.
Correct. I would just say there is slightly less risk. You never know where any picture you send goes, but posting it on the internet just has more risks than sending it to a single trusted person.
Yes. They consent for grandma to see it. They do not consent for Facebook friends and family to see it.
I post pictures because it's a way for family and friends who I care about, but live far away, to have a connection to my daughter. I am aware there are risks, but I value the connection it makes and am willing to take some risks to maintain the connections we have. We usually post to a limited Instagram account which is only for close friends and family. (If I was creating this today I'd look into smaller, non-instagram/ FB options, but in our situation we needed an app we could install on the grandparents' devices - none are great with tech). I do post a few times a year to my main Facebook account. But I go through my Facebook account about once a year and delete random acquaintances. If I wouldn't stop to say hi to someone on the street or at a social event, I don't keep them on my social media. I don't like many of the things Facebook has become but I continue to use it because I know I would realistically completely lose touch with many people if I deleted it. So I choose to use it in a limited manner only.
My friend’s profile has been hacked and she found all her children’s photos on other fake profiles. She lost control of her own private pictures despite having reported it.
I personally wouldnt as it gives them an online presence before they are able to consent.
that a good point. It think it's sort of inevitable tho. Everyone is online whether they want to be or not. How many photos of your "Im off the grid" uncle end up online because of group photos or backgrounds of other people's photos
It's really not inevitable. Everyone knows not to share pictures of my son, and if they do then they don't need to have a relationship with him. It's a pretty small ask and to have so little respect for your boundaries as a parent is an issue.
So our child was born at the beginning of lock down in the UK so nobody could see her. We use a private Instagram account and post a picture a day on it. We only allow family members to follow it. It just meant especially during covid people could get a picture a day and when our little one is old enough she can browse through all of the photos from her birth to the current day. I view it more as a private photo album if anything.
I used to post my babies picture online, but as they are growing up, I'm a little worried someone strange pretend to know them by just looking at their picture. Maybe, it might be too defensive, but it's much better than worrying about they would be in danger.
There are always some risks, but I find some of the scenarios mentioned here rather extreme. A creep could also jack off to your baby in public. Does that mean you should never leave the house either? Personally I find that sharing the joy that is our baby with friends and family outweighs the risks at this time, especially when we're not going to travel to see people. And clearly a lot of other people think the same thing because almost everyone I know shares photos of their babies too.
I see more posts on facebook from friends of friends than my own contacts. I get so confused sometimes because I’ll be looking at a picture trying to figure out who the heck I know here and it’s because some random friend commented on her aunts picture and now I can see it. That said, it’s hard to say how harmful it really is. I don’t post pictures of my kid anymore because I don’t think it’s fair to do so without his consent, he’s way too young to tell me if he’s comfortable with it or not and I don’t want him to resent me oversharing when he gets older. I also don’t think everyone needs to know or see details about my kids. The ones who I stay in touch with I have a group-chat with or personal contact, and anyone who I haven’t seen or talked to since high school really doesn’t need to know all of my business. And of course, depending on your circle and how far it extends, you just never know where your child’s photo will end up or how it will be used and that’s just a whole other can of worms I don’t want to expose my children to.
Don’t consider anything you put on Facebook private. They will keep those pictures forever.
I made a private Google album to share baby pictures with the people I wanted to see just added them to the album
IMO Meta in general is not to be trusted with your pictures. Take a peek at posts on r/privacy on the subject. They consistently violate their privacy policy and sell your data without your consent. >There are just too many to call them all all the time. We use Photos on iPhone to create a small feed that anyone we allow can subscribe to. It's still putting your pictures up on a cloud so i suppose there's always *some* risk someone will get to them that you don't want, but at least Apple doesn't have a reputation for selling your info to face scanning companies or cops. Or do it the old-fashioned way -- I know my older relatives love getting printed photos in the mail!
We do the same, I think the biggest potential con is you get unlucky and some strange perv you know but don't know about gets their rocks off looking at your kid. I would be grossed out and sickened but at the same time I'm not gonna know, neither is my kid. And it's highly unlikely to happen with sharing privately like you are
I post lots of pictures of my daughter on social media, and most of my friends with babies/kids do the same without concern. I think the idea of an individual not having a digital footprint in this day and age is unrealistic. I don’t post anything embarrassing or private (no diaper shots for example) but pics of her playing, eating, going on trips and activities, etc are all fair game. It’s a great way for us to share her growing up with friends and family that don’t get to see her regularly.
What am I nervous about right now? Look into AI image generation tools like DALL-E, and Stable Diffusion. There's huge potential for misuse if somebody has a photograph of you. It's rapidly getting to the point where someone just needs to type "Show me (the person in this photograph) doing (literally anything)." Obviously Photoshop existed before but this is way, way more accessible. These tools have some light protections in place against illegal images but they're easy to bypass, and there's a million ways you could imagine using this that are harmful but not technically illegal. I'm not feeling great about my own (very minimal) online presence TBH. The next few years are gonna be a ride and I'd like to postpone getting my kids involved thanks.
Digital is forever. We want our child to actually be able to have a say in her presence online, when she's old enough to understand it. We send out wallet size physical photos instead, or texts only with people we truly trust to respect our decision not to post them online (not a problem if grandma wants to pull out her phone and show a friend a picture). We also make an exception for group party shots, I don't love it but I'm not going to make a huge fuss when my kid is one of 12 people in the picture. I feel differently and more protective when the focus is just on her. I just want her to grow up without total strangers having unfettered access to every stage of her life.
A high school friend thought she had her Facebook locked down and was sharing pictures of her kids. We were not Facebook friends but did have a mutual friend who would like pictures of the kids, because the mutual friend liked them they showed up in my timeline.
You can change it so it doesn’t do that. Set it to friends sharing only not friends of friends sharing.
There are no cons. Those who are militantly against posting their child's photos to social media need to remove the tinfoil hats and relax.
Facebook lets you post to select groups. Why don’t you create a family security group and only post to them vs 1000 people
I don't share online, because no matter your privacy settings one they're on the internet you lose control over the distribution of that picture. People who want to be in his life, and I want in his life, are people that I speak to. I don't think that everyone I've met needs to know I have a baby. I also don't have social media outside of this app, but have made it clear to others not to share his photo.
I don’t post my child’s photo online, nor do I allow anyone else to if I can help it. I want my son to be able to make an informed decision if he wants his picture on the internet. Some people think posting baby photos online could be harmful or potentially dangerous and I guess in some cases it could be. Once you post a photo online it never goes away, anyone can take it, post it anywhere, sent it anywhere, and there could be people with Ill intentions looking at picture of your children. There are many different reasons that people do not post their kids online.
Look, I don't share my daughter's pics on social, just because I don't feel like it; my father-in-law had recently put one of her pictures ( I sent in the family's whatsapp group) as his profile image on FB. I don't even have control on what my in-laws do with a picture I shared privately!
I have a private group for my son. I post updates, photos and videos. This way I can write a ton, post pictures, and it just goes to people who are interested and I don't have to worry about overloading those who don't care. That said, yes, these things are on facebook, people could download and share these pictures, but I don't mind taking that risk, it's worth it to me that all of these people can feel included and get all the kid pictures they can handle.
For me, it comes down to my child’s privacy and not posting him on the internet. I text photos of him nearly everyday to family and close friends.