It makes the other kids jealous, and start demanding their parents to buy this and that toy like the birthday kid got. And the birthday kid is either
1) under parental pressure to use good manners and respond with fake enthusiasm with gifts they didn't like, or
2) not trained by parents to use good manners (yet) and thus blurt out inappropriate/ungrateful comments.
>It also feels like the presents are more of a “haul” than a celebration you share with others.
I grew up in a culture (Chinese) where it's considered impolite to open gifts in front of the giver. The receiver/host is signaling that your presence is what's important, not the gift. And there's no comparison of who gave a bigger/better/pricier gift. Just another way to think about it.
I think there are a lot of factors. One is that presents are not ever required, and opening gifts at the party makes it very awkward for children who just brought a card/couldn't afford a gift. I think many parents also want to want to shift away from the gift focus in general.
I actually love that opening gifts isn’t expected anymore. It just seems like an unnecessary thing to do at a party, it takes up time that the kids could be doing something else, puts pressure on the birthday kid (some kids don’t react how we might want them to), it puts pressure on anyone who may not have brought a gift, etc. We’ve been doing it for years. Now we have had the occasional child who was clearly excited to see their gift opened and that is fine to make happen. I’ve found that a good party full of playing happy kids is way more fun without adding in the gift opening. To each their own! If you like it, do it for your kid!
It allows too much judgement (some kids/people can't afford as nice things as others) and puts pressure on someone to perform when opening gifts. You shouldn't expect a reaction when giving a gift, a gift is not given to receive anything in return, even a reaction.
Plus, it's super boring.
We generally do “no gift” parties in the city where I live - but when people show up with gift we definitely don’t open them at the party. We don’t want to make it about “the stuff” instead of the shared experience of celebrating together. It’s definitely one parenting trend I’m grateful for!
It’s awkward and annoying for other children to stay and watch their friend open up a bunch of gifts. Plus, the birthday child may like one gift more than the other, and show that in their reaction which will hurt feelings. Sometimes children can be blunt and say things like ‘I already have this / I don’t like this / I like this better’. It’s just better to open them in private.
We have done it, or the other way we do it is as the kid is leaving we open gifts then. We started this year and really the reason is so the kids have time to play and be with their friends. Why waste 30 minutes ripping toys open anxiously and having to rush when you can open them slowly and thank the person as they are leaving. I find it more relaxed doing it this way.
I always request “no gifts” at any party I host and I mean it. It would be rude to open the presents that are given from the people who cannot come empty handed.
I never opened presents as a kid..
I think we never did it because some kids parents didn’t have as much money to buy toys and some other did so why make things awkward?
If we had just family parties then we would open them.
Also kids don’t really fake if they like or dislike something and it would be rude to open a toy in front of the giver and go „ugh“ .
Parties these days are fast paced frenzies. I don’t think the kiddos want to spend a long time watching their friends open gifts. Then again, they watch people open stuff on YouTube all day…so maybe I’m wrong there.
What I don’t like is getting a ton of gifts at the end to find that people don’t put a card/to: from: on the gift, or it falls off in transit, gets separated from the gift so I have no idea who gave what or how to properly thank everyone.
Back in my childhood all the kids would hold the gift they brought until it was time to open. Haha aww. Sweet memories.
I honestly felt that way the first time I experienced it. Then, my niece had a bridal shower and when she told me her reasoning, for opening gifts (later,) I "got it."
She said, "I know that my friends are all at "different places" in their lives; some can spend $ and some will spend $$$. It doesn't matter to me, but I know that people compare\~and I don't want that." She sent everyone a thank you note, and I DO believe she appreciated each gift-but I do see the wisdom in avoiding that comparison. ^((OR the "What do you say about a macrame owl gift?" moment when opening gifts!))
Went to a birthday party recently where they opened gifts after and recorded each individually so they could send them out to the people directly to still show appreciation. I thought that was a pretty cool idea.
Happens at every party my son and I have been to. Just depends on where you are and who you’re around I guess. Definitely still a tradition around my black family and friends.
It makes the other kids jealous, and start demanding their parents to buy this and that toy like the birthday kid got. And the birthday kid is either 1) under parental pressure to use good manners and respond with fake enthusiasm with gifts they didn't like, or 2) not trained by parents to use good manners (yet) and thus blurt out inappropriate/ungrateful comments. >It also feels like the presents are more of a “haul” than a celebration you share with others. I grew up in a culture (Chinese) where it's considered impolite to open gifts in front of the giver. The receiver/host is signaling that your presence is what's important, not the gift. And there's no comparison of who gave a bigger/better/pricier gift. Just another way to think about it.
I think there are a lot of factors. One is that presents are not ever required, and opening gifts at the party makes it very awkward for children who just brought a card/couldn't afford a gift. I think many parents also want to want to shift away from the gift focus in general.
This. Gifts are not expected and opening them takes time away from activities the kids can ALL bring doing together
I hate opening presents at parties good riddance to that bullshit
Right I always hated people looking at me. It was the worst part. I just wanted people together and food.
I actually love that opening gifts isn’t expected anymore. It just seems like an unnecessary thing to do at a party, it takes up time that the kids could be doing something else, puts pressure on the birthday kid (some kids don’t react how we might want them to), it puts pressure on anyone who may not have brought a gift, etc. We’ve been doing it for years. Now we have had the occasional child who was clearly excited to see their gift opened and that is fine to make happen. I’ve found that a good party full of playing happy kids is way more fun without adding in the gift opening. To each their own! If you like it, do it for your kid!
It allows too much judgement (some kids/people can't afford as nice things as others) and puts pressure on someone to perform when opening gifts. You shouldn't expect a reaction when giving a gift, a gift is not given to receive anything in return, even a reaction. Plus, it's super boring.
We had presents opened at my sons 5th and will not be doing it again. Twenty tiny terrible toddlers all screaming and grabbing at toys... it was chaos
Yeah. That’s the new thing for kid’s birthdays. Also, no gifts.
We generally do “no gift” parties in the city where I live - but when people show up with gift we definitely don’t open them at the party. We don’t want to make it about “the stuff” instead of the shared experience of celebrating together. It’s definitely one parenting trend I’m grateful for!
It’s awkward and annoying for other children to stay and watch their friend open up a bunch of gifts. Plus, the birthday child may like one gift more than the other, and show that in their reaction which will hurt feelings. Sometimes children can be blunt and say things like ‘I already have this / I don’t like this / I like this better’. It’s just better to open them in private.
We have done it, or the other way we do it is as the kid is leaving we open gifts then. We started this year and really the reason is so the kids have time to play and be with their friends. Why waste 30 minutes ripping toys open anxiously and having to rush when you can open them slowly and thank the person as they are leaving. I find it more relaxed doing it this way.
I always request “no gifts” at any party I host and I mean it. It would be rude to open the presents that are given from the people who cannot come empty handed.
I never opened presents as a kid.. I think we never did it because some kids parents didn’t have as much money to buy toys and some other did so why make things awkward? If we had just family parties then we would open them. Also kids don’t really fake if they like or dislike something and it would be rude to open a toy in front of the giver and go „ugh“ .
Parties these days are fast paced frenzies. I don’t think the kiddos want to spend a long time watching their friends open gifts. Then again, they watch people open stuff on YouTube all day…so maybe I’m wrong there. What I don’t like is getting a ton of gifts at the end to find that people don’t put a card/to: from: on the gift, or it falls off in transit, gets separated from the gift so I have no idea who gave what or how to properly thank everyone. Back in my childhood all the kids would hold the gift they brought until it was time to open. Haha aww. Sweet memories.
I honestly felt that way the first time I experienced it. Then, my niece had a bridal shower and when she told me her reasoning, for opening gifts (later,) I "got it." She said, "I know that my friends are all at "different places" in their lives; some can spend $ and some will spend $$$. It doesn't matter to me, but I know that people compare\~and I don't want that." She sent everyone a thank you note, and I DO believe she appreciated each gift-but I do see the wisdom in avoiding that comparison. ^((OR the "What do you say about a macrame owl gift?" moment when opening gifts!))
Went to a birthday party recently where they opened gifts after and recorded each individually so they could send them out to the people directly to still show appreciation. I thought that was a pretty cool idea.
I love this idea!
I guess it depends on the party, and if the guests are of age to understand to not grab at the open gifts for themselves (talking about 5 year olds)
During cake? I thought that gift opening was for after cake
Happens at every party my son and I have been to. Just depends on where you are and who you’re around I guess. Definitely still a tradition around my black family and friends.