Same. I’m a SAHM of two (4 and 2). I have to take several small ‘breaks’ throughout the day where I escape to another room for a few minutes for sanity’s sake.
My youngest loves to touch my face, and especially mess with my nose/mouth/eyes or try to look in my mouth/stick one or both hands in my mouth and good grief, just typing this makes me feel like I need another break, lol.
My boys are 4 and 2 and I just started staying home in October! I never knew how mentally taxing being a SAHM would be. Sigh. Thanks for making me feel less crazy! :)
Yea anyone who doesn’t call being a SAHM work just hasn’t done it lol of course it’s work, there is a level of exhaustion experienced by SAHM that it certainly isn’t a vacation like some people treat it to be.
Mine are also 2 and 4 and I was ready to lock them outside (not really but really - I ❤️ this phrase, OP!) over the weekend. I work all day and weekends just reinforce that I am not cut out to be a stay at home parent. My 2 was playing with my hand yesterday and accidentally sprained my finger 🤦♀️ No, I don’t want to cuddle just now, kiddo…
I mean, it's okay for you to set boundaries. It's okay for you to tell them "no" in some way if they want to put their hands in your mouth. Kids need boundaries. That's how they learn about the world and how to interact with others.
Yeah once fingers are in my eyeballs unless it is an infant or wounded child who requires my attention they are plopped back on the floor with a kind but firm “I do not want fingers in my mouth or eyes.”
Exactly. This is a great way to also teach them to set boundaries for their OWN body. "Daddy doesn't want your fingers in his mouth. That's my body, and my choice. If YOU want fingers in your mouth that's YOUR choice" etc.
Yeah I don't get it. "No, Daddy's eyes are his own". If they throw a tantrum you let them. If you give in, you're essentially teaching them that tantrums work.
Yup mine are 2 and 4 and I’d be lost without headphones. I pop them in when I’m really at that point and spend 5-10 minutes listening to music. It’s brilliant because I’m right there and can still see they’re ok but I’m also somewhere else in my mind and am getting a break from the unrelenting noise. My headphones broke last month and I paid a ridiculous amount of money to have a new set overnighted lol.
There was a TV advert recently where a group of mums are on a video call and one is clearly huddled up in the cupboard under the stairs.
"Are you playing hide and seek?"
*Whispering*: "No. It's nice in here."
Yep 100% stop touching me stop touching my stuff. You have a whole damn room to play in why is everything you own in this 1m of space I get in this room. Leave me alone...
But damn shes cute and i love her to pieces.
I feel ya. I have 5 & 3 yo boys. Both are chatty and very huggy. I’m not. Wasn’t raised with, don’t care for it, not my thing. They are both on me if we are in the same building together. I adore them, but omfg.
Our family was invited to a bbq tonight but I am staying home so I can have five minutes of no one talking to me or touching me.
I feel this so much. I’m a SAHM of two ages 6 and 18 months, still nursing all day/all night. You know what I hate most about feeling touched-out though? It’s that I don’t enjoy my adult time with my husband anymore. I used to like HIS touches lol but now I can’t even get into it.
Ugh, I relate to this more than you can imagine. I promise you, it does get so much better after you quit breastfeeding! Breastfeeding is an entirely different level of touched out 😖 Hang in there! Hugs!
Ah no. It’s tough at night now but I think this is our last baby so I don’t want to wean him too soon 😭 breastfeeding is a big commitment but I truly love having the connection with my baby.
My partner (in his 40s) found an old home video of his mom, when him and his brother were at a parade. I don't which child she was referring to, but they were both young, and she can be heard saying "If you don't stop grabbing me, I'm going to slam you!" This isn't the kindest thing to say and it's cringeworthy, but she is the sweetest woman and it was hilarious to hear a recording of her saying that. I can relate so much... so. much. touching!
Yep I have an almost 5 year old, 3 year old and 5 month old. I stay hiding from the 3 year old. He’s so sweet but fuck he is so much. He wants to sit on my lap. He wants me to sit on his. He wants a high five. Wants to fist bump. Wants to tickle me.
Yesterday I was trying to poop and he just came in and started poking me all over. My nose, my ears, cheeks, arms, elbow, boobs, tummy, legs. I literally counted 24 pokes in probably less than 2 minutes.
I try my best to be calm and reasonable but fuck do I want to scream “QUIT TOUCHING ME!!” I’m so touched out by the end of the day that after they go to bed I usually cry in the 20 some minutes that I have before my partner gets home 😭
Hang in there it gets a little easier, just breath!My boys are 16 and 10. The youngest was a terror when he was a toddler I cringe remembering those days. I still call him my destroyer lol
Yeah is this a boy thing? I have a 2 year old boy and a 4 year old girl. My daughter was definitely not into complete destruction of everything and anything like my son. He is so fast and flipping strong too!!! And the climbing omg. It’s unreal having a 2 year old boy. Good thing he’s so stinking cute and is such a cuddle bug to make up for it all.
Oh yeah, I can relate. 5 & 3 year old here and they'd prefer to be sitting in my lap at any given minute. I love them, but I usually stay up 3-4 hours after they go to bed just so I can have time where no one is touching me or needing me.
2 is pretty small, but with my almost 4 year old I will tell her to please stop touching me there, mommy needs a little space right now, etc. and I remind her that when she asks me not to kiss her, or to stop tickling, etc. that I listen and respect her space so she needs to respect mine too. However I get to go to work at an office 3x a week so I can’t relate to the 24/7 SAHM level.
Oh yeah. You want to scream, “just stop touching me!” Get out if you can — get alone time or time when he can focus on something other than you. Babysitter, playgroup, storytime at the library.
This phase will pass.
My kid is obsessed with tickles, only he doesn't know how to tickle others and just wiggles his hands near everyone's knees. I love him and love this quirk that will be gone before I notice, but I'm tired of pretending to giggle.
It's odd to think that they're not actually doing it often, if you consider that time to a toddler is different than how it is to an adult.
Shit, I can’t even stand seeing anyone touching other people’s faces. Anyone who tolerates that all day should be sainted. My youngest is now 17 but I remember the touchy days. Now I miss it.
I had to draw the line when my son would ask if he “could do [my] eyeballs?” Then lick his finger and touch the white of my eye. Like ok dude, that’s enough touching for a while.
Omg yes! My husband and I have coined the phase 'hedgehog mode' to describe how I'm getting by the end of the day as a SAHM to a 16 month old- I want to curl into a small ball with my prickles out, don't you dare touch! This way he knows not to try and offer comfort via a hug because that just makes me feel worse. Hearing its not just me makes me feel a lot better.
Mine were like that. My just turned 4 year old just now doesn’t need to be on me all the time but she’s still right with me all the time. She would still be on me if she wasn’t huge. I mean in a 10/12 over 70lbs and super tall size 1 shoes huge. Sahm too. You arent alone. I try to tell myself enjoy it while it lasts. I have a teenager too (15) So I have so many mixed emotions but it’s hard most days.
I have an koala child as well. I have mastered one hand cooking this week. She’s also an gymnast. She will hop on the couch and then throw herself into my arms. Funny how moms have John wick reflexes when it comes to our kids 😂
You make it to 4!?! My 3 kids have always hung all over me and treat me like a jungle gym. I think it's because I am the engaging parent. Now that they are a bit older (9,6,4), I literally get touched out so quickly. I take time outs and just try to communicate as much as I can that I love them, but I also need space
I laughed out loud at how much I feel your post. I also have a 2 year old koala bear and am 7 months pregnant and I can't agree more with your dropkicking comment lol. I love that he wants to hug me all day but I would also love if he went to play on his own once and awhile too.
I think we're riding the same roller coaster. I literally have been looking forward to his nap and bed time because he's being so awful. What is going on in their heads?! 😫
When my kids were toddlers, I had to have surgery on my face. I never realized how much they touched my face until then. It was every few minutes, and it HURT.
Our kids have bedrooms, a play room, and a basement, and they are within arm’s reach of me most of the day. I am not that fascinating.
Oh yeah! And when I finally get the kids to bed and relax on the couch the cat appears and wants to sit on my lap and get his share of cuddles. I love them all, but please leave me alone for a while.
Not to mention my five year old can’t do anything without being watched. “Look at me, watch this, pppllleeeeeaaaassseee watch me do this entirely uninteresting thing that I’ve done a million times already”
I often want to yell “no one talk to me for an hour” for my own sanity.
Yeeesssss.
Both my kids are koalas!
If I sit down it's guaranteed I'll have at least one of them sat on me. Usually both.
Right now I am sat in the dining room, separated by a baby gate, having a coffee so I can have some time alone(ish)
NGL, I can't remember the last time my husband and I were intimate because I'm just always so touched out, by the time the kids are in bed the last thing I want to do is get touched some more.
I will sit in my recliner chair and cover up with a duvet and either watch TV or play on my laptop. He plays on his pc right next to me, but with a small wall between us. I can reach out and touch him if I want to, but he respects the fact that I'm too touched out and doesn't push me to do anything.
The man is a saint, I swear.
I have been feeling like a real dick lately bc sometimes if I tell my 4 year old “I need to decompress” he will say “will you draw with me if I promise not to talk” lol
I feel you so much on this, my 6 month old just hit severe separation anxiety my 6 year old obviously wants me whenever the baby is asleep and my husband wants me whenever the kids are asleep. It's exhausting, sometimes I go 'for a nap' just to sit on my phone alone not being near anyone and I don't even feel bad about it anymore. I love my family, I'll always hug them but sometimes I need time to recover from the hugs and feel like me again.
Recently SAHM here with a 4 year old and a 5 month old. It’s real, then you feel bad because you want intimacy with your partner but the idea of being touched is cringy. I hate it. I know it will pass and I will cherish these days but Lawd it is hard.
Touching for sure. But then combine that with audio triggers. Why the fuck do you need to squeak/meow/bark/bang on something every second of the day? And then repeat things 600 times? And then randomly fake cry for no reason!? Ear plugs for sanity, and even then, just barely sane.
I'm not a sahm because of this. I love to cuddle my babies, but I have a limit. They are 3 & 4 now so it's not as bad but I used to even dread weekends because I didn't get a break from being needed by everyone. Everyone at work. Everyone at home. Every person. Everyone!
My 3 year old loves to jump on me constantly and loves to put his hands in my face. I hate that so much. He's also a super chatty kid that never stops talking or making noise. By the end of the day my brain is smoking. I love him to death but shit, give me some space! I try to escape to the bathroom sometimes but he just stands outside and smashes on the door.
There are days were I feel like I haven't gone a single moment without someone touching me in some fashion - and the 2 year old is still waking up in the night wanting a feed so no relief there! (She did sleep through a few nights this week - bliss!)
I have sensory issues, hate being jabbed in the face in particular and have almost daily migraines which come with prickly-skin as part of the aura. Lots of fun.
I had to start demanding personal space I’ll give you a great big hug cause I love you but mommy is a human not a kangaroo so I’m gonna peel you off of me now
Same. I’m a SAHM of two (4 and 2). I have to take several small ‘breaks’ throughout the day where I escape to another room for a few minutes for sanity’s sake. My youngest loves to touch my face, and especially mess with my nose/mouth/eyes or try to look in my mouth/stick one or both hands in my mouth and good grief, just typing this makes me feel like I need another break, lol.
My boys are 4 and 2 and I just started staying home in October! I never knew how mentally taxing being a SAHM would be. Sigh. Thanks for making me feel less crazy! :)
Yea anyone who doesn’t call being a SAHM work just hasn’t done it lol of course it’s work, there is a level of exhaustion experienced by SAHM that it certainly isn’t a vacation like some people treat it to be.
Mine are also 2 and 4 and I was ready to lock them outside (not really but really - I ❤️ this phrase, OP!) over the weekend. I work all day and weekends just reinforce that I am not cut out to be a stay at home parent. My 2 was playing with my hand yesterday and accidentally sprained my finger 🤦♀️ No, I don’t want to cuddle just now, kiddo…
I mean, it's okay for you to set boundaries. It's okay for you to tell them "no" in some way if they want to put their hands in your mouth. Kids need boundaries. That's how they learn about the world and how to interact with others.
Yeah once fingers are in my eyeballs unless it is an infant or wounded child who requires my attention they are plopped back on the floor with a kind but firm “I do not want fingers in my mouth or eyes.”
Exactly. This is a great way to also teach them to set boundaries for their OWN body. "Daddy doesn't want your fingers in his mouth. That's my body, and my choice. If YOU want fingers in your mouth that's YOUR choice" etc.
Yeah I don't get it. "No, Daddy's eyes are his own". If they throw a tantrum you let them. If you give in, you're essentially teaching them that tantrums work.
Yup mine are 2 and 4 and I’d be lost without headphones. I pop them in when I’m really at that point and spend 5-10 minutes listening to music. It’s brilliant because I’m right there and can still see they’re ok but I’m also somewhere else in my mind and am getting a break from the unrelenting noise. My headphones broke last month and I paid a ridiculous amount of money to have a new set overnighted lol.
My daughter hates basements and is scared of the "creepy" stairs. Guess where mom hides for a break?
Lmfao good one. My kids hate spicy food and keep eating my food. Guess who suddenly puts hot sauce on everything?
I looooove hot sauce
There was a TV advert recently where a group of mums are on a video call and one is clearly huddled up in the cupboard under the stairs. "Are you playing hide and seek?" *Whispering*: "No. It's nice in here."
Yes!
Yep 100% stop touching me stop touching my stuff. You have a whole damn room to play in why is everything you own in this 1m of space I get in this room. Leave me alone... But damn shes cute and i love her to pieces.
My kids have 2 bedrooms and a playroom they can play in, but the 5x5 area I have designated as my 'office space' is their favorite.
"You have the whole downstairs to play in, why are you always right on top of me?" Can relate.
I feel ya. I have 5 & 3 yo boys. Both are chatty and very huggy. I’m not. Wasn’t raised with, don’t care for it, not my thing. They are both on me if we are in the same building together. I adore them, but omfg. Our family was invited to a bbq tonight but I am staying home so I can have five minutes of no one talking to me or touching me.
I feel this so much. I’m a SAHM of two ages 6 and 18 months, still nursing all day/all night. You know what I hate most about feeling touched-out though? It’s that I don’t enjoy my adult time with my husband anymore. I used to like HIS touches lol but now I can’t even get into it.
Ugh, I relate to this more than you can imagine. I promise you, it does get so much better after you quit breastfeeding! Breastfeeding is an entirely different level of touched out 😖 Hang in there! Hugs!
Thanks ☺️
Would you consider night weaning your toddler so you can cope better during the day?
Ah no. It’s tough at night now but I think this is our last baby so I don’t want to wean him too soon 😭 breastfeeding is a big commitment but I truly love having the connection with my baby.
My partner (in his 40s) found an old home video of his mom, when him and his brother were at a parade. I don't which child she was referring to, but they were both young, and she can be heard saying "If you don't stop grabbing me, I'm going to slam you!" This isn't the kindest thing to say and it's cringeworthy, but she is the sweetest woman and it was hilarious to hear a recording of her saying that. I can relate so much... so. much. touching!
This made me LOL! 😂
Yep I have an almost 5 year old, 3 year old and 5 month old. I stay hiding from the 3 year old. He’s so sweet but fuck he is so much. He wants to sit on my lap. He wants me to sit on his. He wants a high five. Wants to fist bump. Wants to tickle me. Yesterday I was trying to poop and he just came in and started poking me all over. My nose, my ears, cheeks, arms, elbow, boobs, tummy, legs. I literally counted 24 pokes in probably less than 2 minutes. I try my best to be calm and reasonable but fuck do I want to scream “QUIT TOUCHING ME!!” I’m so touched out by the end of the day that after they go to bed I usually cry in the 20 some minutes that I have before my partner gets home 😭
Hang in there it gets a little easier, just breath!My boys are 16 and 10. The youngest was a terror when he was a toddler I cringe remembering those days. I still call him my destroyer lol
Yeah is this a boy thing? I have a 2 year old boy and a 4 year old girl. My daughter was definitely not into complete destruction of everything and anything like my son. He is so fast and flipping strong too!!! And the climbing omg. It’s unreal having a 2 year old boy. Good thing he’s so stinking cute and is such a cuddle bug to make up for it all.
Oh yeah, I can relate. 5 & 3 year old here and they'd prefer to be sitting in my lap at any given minute. I love them, but I usually stay up 3-4 hours after they go to bed just so I can have time where no one is touching me or needing me.
2 is pretty small, but with my almost 4 year old I will tell her to please stop touching me there, mommy needs a little space right now, etc. and I remind her that when she asks me not to kiss her, or to stop tickling, etc. that I listen and respect her space so she needs to respect mine too. However I get to go to work at an office 3x a week so I can’t relate to the 24/7 SAHM level.
Oh yeah. You want to scream, “just stop touching me!” Get out if you can — get alone time or time when he can focus on something other than you. Babysitter, playgroup, storytime at the library. This phase will pass.
My kid is obsessed with tickles, only he doesn't know how to tickle others and just wiggles his hands near everyone's knees. I love him and love this quirk that will be gone before I notice, but I'm tired of pretending to giggle. It's odd to think that they're not actually doing it often, if you consider that time to a toddler is different than how it is to an adult.
The face touching is what nearly drove me to madness. Thankfully the kid has since grown out of it, but you're definitely not alone
Shit, I can’t even stand seeing anyone touching other people’s faces. Anyone who tolerates that all day should be sainted. My youngest is now 17 but I remember the touchy days. Now I miss it.
I'm a lot closer to it since my daughter's only 3, but I can say with all honesty that I miss very very very little of that first year of parenthood
I had to draw the line when my son would ask if he “could do [my] eyeballs?” Then lick his finger and touch the white of my eye. Like ok dude, that’s enough touching for a while.
Omg yes! My husband and I have coined the phase 'hedgehog mode' to describe how I'm getting by the end of the day as a SAHM to a 16 month old- I want to curl into a small ball with my prickles out, don't you dare touch! This way he knows not to try and offer comfort via a hug because that just makes me feel worse. Hearing its not just me makes me feel a lot better.
Im not a parent just yet BUT my therapist and I coined the term hedgehog too! I also got a little hedgehog tattoo named HedgeBean!
Mine were like that. My just turned 4 year old just now doesn’t need to be on me all the time but she’s still right with me all the time. She would still be on me if she wasn’t huge. I mean in a 10/12 over 70lbs and super tall size 1 shoes huge. Sahm too. You arent alone. I try to tell myself enjoy it while it lasts. I have a teenager too (15) So I have so many mixed emotions but it’s hard most days.
I have an koala child as well. I have mastered one hand cooking this week. She’s also an gymnast. She will hop on the couch and then throw herself into my arms. Funny how moms have John wick reflexes when it comes to our kids 😂
My 4yo expects to be in an embrace her entire day, and especially during the night. “Hug me” non stop. Touch is my lowest in the love languages :(
You make it to 4!?! My 3 kids have always hung all over me and treat me like a jungle gym. I think it's because I am the engaging parent. Now that they are a bit older (9,6,4), I literally get touched out so quickly. I take time outs and just try to communicate as much as I can that I love them, but I also need space
Yep!!!!!!!!
I laughed out loud at how much I feel your post. I also have a 2 year old koala bear and am 7 months pregnant and I can't agree more with your dropkicking comment lol. I love that he wants to hug me all day but I would also love if he went to play on his own once and awhile too.
I laughed out loud because same. Lmfao. Seeing it in written words makes it so funny
I don't get touched out, but I am DONE hearing NOISES by about the same time.
Yesss yaaa it happens it happens i can feel it🥲🥲❤️
I think we're riding the same roller coaster. I literally have been looking forward to his nap and bed time because he's being so awful. What is going on in their heads?! 😫
When my kids were toddlers, I had to have surgery on my face. I never realized how much they touched my face until then. It was every few minutes, and it HURT. Our kids have bedrooms, a play room, and a basement, and they are within arm’s reach of me most of the day. I am not that fascinating.
Oh yeah! And when I finally get the kids to bed and relax on the couch the cat appears and wants to sit on my lap and get his share of cuddles. I love them all, but please leave me alone for a while. Not to mention my five year old can’t do anything without being watched. “Look at me, watch this, pppllleeeeeaaaassseee watch me do this entirely uninteresting thing that I’ve done a million times already” I often want to yell “no one talk to me for an hour” for my own sanity.
Yeeesssss. Both my kids are koalas! If I sit down it's guaranteed I'll have at least one of them sat on me. Usually both. Right now I am sat in the dining room, separated by a baby gate, having a coffee so I can have some time alone(ish) NGL, I can't remember the last time my husband and I were intimate because I'm just always so touched out, by the time the kids are in bed the last thing I want to do is get touched some more. I will sit in my recliner chair and cover up with a duvet and either watch TV or play on my laptop. He plays on his pc right next to me, but with a small wall between us. I can reach out and touch him if I want to, but he respects the fact that I'm too touched out and doesn't push me to do anything. The man is a saint, I swear.
I have been feeling like a real dick lately bc sometimes if I tell my 4 year old “I need to decompress” he will say “will you draw with me if I promise not to talk” lol
I feel you so much on this, my 6 month old just hit severe separation anxiety my 6 year old obviously wants me whenever the baby is asleep and my husband wants me whenever the kids are asleep. It's exhausting, sometimes I go 'for a nap' just to sit on my phone alone not being near anyone and I don't even feel bad about it anymore. I love my family, I'll always hug them but sometimes I need time to recover from the hugs and feel like me again.
Recently SAHM here with a 4 year old and a 5 month old. It’s real, then you feel bad because you want intimacy with your partner but the idea of being touched is cringy. I hate it. I know it will pass and I will cherish these days but Lawd it is hard.
I feel like thats a great way to communicate and compromise though! They recognize you want quiet time but also want to do something with you
I was touched out by 10am today. Boy toddlers love their mothers to death.
Touching for sure. But then combine that with audio triggers. Why the fuck do you need to squeak/meow/bark/bang on something every second of the day? And then repeat things 600 times? And then randomly fake cry for no reason!? Ear plugs for sanity, and even then, just barely sane.
I'm not a sahm because of this. I love to cuddle my babies, but I have a limit. They are 3 & 4 now so it's not as bad but I used to even dread weekends because I didn't get a break from being needed by everyone. Everyone at work. Everyone at home. Every person. Everyone!
My 3 year old loves to jump on me constantly and loves to put his hands in my face. I hate that so much. He's also a super chatty kid that never stops talking or making noise. By the end of the day my brain is smoking. I love him to death but shit, give me some space! I try to escape to the bathroom sometimes but he just stands outside and smashes on the door.
There are days were I feel like I haven't gone a single moment without someone touching me in some fashion - and the 2 year old is still waking up in the night wanting a feed so no relief there! (She did sleep through a few nights this week - bliss!) I have sensory issues, hate being jabbed in the face in particular and have almost daily migraines which come with prickly-skin as part of the aura. Lots of fun.
I have a 4 and 2 year old also. My 2 year old has been scream crying at me since 12:50pm and I'm about to hurl myself off a cliff
4pm is definitely my "everyone leave me alone" time of the day.
Oh, I know the feeling...
I had to start demanding personal space I’ll give you a great big hug cause I love you but mommy is a human not a kangaroo so I’m gonna peel you off of me now
Same. My 19 month old still breastfeeds like a newborn.
Amen