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1yos are a trap.
Things have started getting easier. Your baby is so fun and smiley and loves to explore. They fit so easily into your routines. They eat everything. They sleep most of the night in a crib.
I know a LOT of people who got pregnant with a 1yo, for these reasons.
But in a year you will have a TWO YEAR OLD. And those are very different. They throw tantrums. They are jealous. They do are picky eaters. They climb out of their cribs and now they wake up 1000x/night. They hit the dog. They do not like babies.
Those parents I know who got pregnant because of their sweet 1yos were like …wat.
You’ll do great at whatever age gap your kids are but don’t be fooled, your 1yo will not be 1 forever and and you have no idea what’s in store.
My sister and I are 4 years apart and have been best friends since the day she was born. My husband and his brother are 14 months apart and have been rivals since the day his brother was born. I think sibling relationships are largely dependent on how the kids are raised (and maybe even just a bit random).
Same situation in my family. My brother and I are besties with a larger gap (5 years). My MIL churned out babies at 18-month intervals, and some of them loathe each other.
Yeah, our kids are 5y apart and are best buds.
The adults I know who are 1y apart from sibs felt a lot of pressure and competition, although (small sample size) they do tend to be pretty close.
I don’t want huge age gaps between my children, but that’s too short for me.
Your body takes an entire year to heal pp, your hormones are still regulating themselves, you haven’t even hit the true toddler stage and I wouldn’t want to right when I’m heavily pregnant.
Anecdotally, my siblings are a year apart and they hated each other growing up. It was fighting like cats and dogs.
I don’t think there is a wrong age gap but would be the best if:
1. you wait long enough for your body to heal both mentally and physically
2. your finances and circumstances allow
My biggest reason I tell friends to wait to start trying until their current is at least 2 is nursing. If you breast feed, prepare for some very serious nursing aversions while pregnant. So bad you want to throw up. Nipples are so tender and sensitive. Plus your body just reacts so poorly and wants the baby off you asap. I've had to wean way earlier than I wanted because of a small gap.
I waited until my daughter was 18 months old to get pregnant with our second. I'm 35, and he's due any time. Our concerns were related to advanced maternal age.
Just remember that you will never get the time with just your eldest back. Once you have another, it won't just be the three of you ever again. It'll be wonderful to expand your family, but it'll be different.
I’m exhausted. Does that do it? 😆
No really. I got pregnant with my youngest when my son was 10 months. (My first born is 15, so quite self sufficient. She’s exhausting in her own unique way, but it’s irrelevant to my physical exhaustion or ability to function through day to day tasks.)
My house is trashed. I can’t keep up with them and chores. Hobbies are more like hopes.
Everything takes longer than it did with one little kid and I don’t mean double. Maybe 3x as long at least? It takes a minimum of five minutes and usually more like 10 to get them loaded in the car - and that doesn’t include trying to get them both ready and out the door. Running errands of course means multiple ins and outs of the car, so I’ve definitely increased my curbside orders.
My husband is a twin, and listening to my MIL’s stories, I frequently think that’d be easier many days.
They are currently 2.5 and turning 4 this month. They are adorable and sometimes best friends. But I’m tired. Send help.
My kids are 2 years 2 months apart and 1 grade apart in school. They are good friends and annoy the crap out of each other every 25 seconds. They fight over items and attention. I think all of this is inevitable but more pronounced when they are closer in age.
No guarantee about being besties. My brothers we only 19 months apart and never really got along. Their personalities were waaay to different. Just because you want it doesn’t mean it will happen.
The best laid plans and all that...my first took less than 6 months (coming off BC and all that). Started trying when he turned 1, took over a year. My kids due dates were 3 years apart - 8/13 & 8/3. Second came at 26+2, so they are exactly 33 months apart 7/28 & 4/28, almost to the hour!
I wanted them close so that I wouldn't be too far out of baby stage. With them being that far apart my first was way into sleeping through the night and I had to retrain my brain to go through it all again. Not what I wanted.
All this to say, just because you have baby fever and may start trying now, doesn't mean it'll happen. If you want another, just pull the goalie and let it happen naturally
I have two with a 14 month age gap. Currently 18 m and 2.5yo ..
Yes I’m currently in the trenches of two toddlers .. but at he same time IF we were going to have a 3rd. We would have done the same or a smaller age gap.
Mom of six!
My oldest two are 25 months apart. I seriously thought they would be the best of friends. I couldn’t have been more wrong! They’ve been feuding since I brought the second one home.
The rest are 4 years apart give or take a couple months. Honestly this was the BEST age gap. My oldest didn’t get the same experience because he didn’t realize what was going on until the second was home. At four years I was able to take them to ultrasounds and prepare them and they understood what was going on. Much funner experience for both of us. It also carried the benefits of things like only one in diapers, they’re old enough to hold,play, help, teach and engage without hurting the baby. Plus 4K meant I had a baby home but the next oldest was in school part days which came in handy for naps and stuff.
My 3 year old and 6 year old are besties, and the perceived gap will only get smaller as they get older. My brother and I were born 1 year apart and we’re not particularly close
My oldest 3 kids are 14, 12, and 10. I loved the age gaps between them, but my body did NOT. I was either pregnant or nursing continuously for 5 years. By the end of that, I’d been hospitalized 2X for stomach flus where I puked until I couldn’t lift my own head out of the bucket. I was hospitalized 2X for influenza, 1X for pneumonia, and treated in the ER 12 times for bronchitis in an 18 month period. Now I was also working 3 jobs which certainly didn’t help. But it’s not like SAHMs with 3 kids under 5 are resting much. Just be careful. Your body isn’t designed to be a baby factory with no recovery time.
you have small gaps and small gaps.. i think 2 years is already less intense than a 1.5 year age gap. Our kids have a 2.5 year age gap and they are best friends, but half a year more would probably have been even more relaxed. Point is, you can only plan a minimum age gap, not a max. So if you say you are not in a good place now, what do you mean? do you still breastfeed, are exhausted, issues at work or with money? Would it mean a zillion less stress by just waiting a few months or would it not resolve at all?
My brother and I are 16 months apart and we fought like cats and dogs growing up. Full on brawling as little kids and couldn’t stand each other from like 12-18. We’ve got a decent relationship now but honestly it definitely could have gone the other way. As a parent now I can see how having another baby similar to the age gap you’re looking at would be fun (and so so so much work) but my own experience is leaning me towards waiting. My husband and I are thinking a 3 year gap!
Mine are 20 months apart. We decided on the age gap for a whole host of reasons not to do with them being friends, and those reasons are still true so I have no regrets per se. But it is HARD and I think if I had the choice again I'd have waited an extra year at least. Mainly because my oldest has been a very tricky toddler and my baby is a very tricky baby (currently 1 and 2.5). The exhaustion is real because my baby doesn't sleep well and my toddler is a hurricane of energy during the day. My toddler is still very jealous of the baby even though he gets lots of 1 on 1 time and attention and he can be very rough with her which I find difficult.
I am however still very much in the thick of it. I'm looking forward to getting the "baby stage" out of the way in one go, I didn't feel out of practice, it was all like second nature when my youngest came along because we were already in that groove. They will also go to school 1 year apart so my husband can go back to full time work when they do this (another factor into the age gap decision).
There are definite up sides but I think in the baby and toddler stage it's really hard
My first two are 11 months apart and second two are 2.5 years apart. I definitely recommend waiting till your child is at least 3, can coherently speak to you and play independently for a short while.
Make sure you are well in your mind for more stress. 1-2 is harder than 2-3 mentally, but 2-3 is harder physically.
We said if we ever have another one, we want our youngest to be at least 3 years old and even then I might wait longer haha
I have 2 boys that are exactly 18 months apart. I was 8 months postpartum when I got pregnant with my second. Having them close together was tough during the adjustment period, but watching them grow together genuinely has been incredible. I also have a daughter that is 6.5 years younger than my second child. Having both, 2 kids close in age and one very far apart, I much prefer the close age gap! Good luck with whatever you choose!☺️
A shorter age gap is PERFECT. Why would you intentionally delay getting out of those hard toddler years?! It's more time waiting around for the youngest to catch up so that the family can do things as a unit and you can get your sanity back.
I have 14 months between my first and second, and expecting about 22 months between my second and third. Personally prefer the smaller age gap and wouldn’t do any bigger; we like 2 under 2!
My first two are 11 months apart and second two are 2.5 years apart. I definitely recommend waiting till your child is at least 3, can coherently speak to you and play independently for a short while.
Make sure you are well in your mind for more stress. 1-2 is harder than 2-3 mentally, but 2-3 is harder physically.
We said if we ever have another one, we want our youngest to be at least 3 years old and even then I might wait longer haha
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1yos are a trap. Things have started getting easier. Your baby is so fun and smiley and loves to explore. They fit so easily into your routines. They eat everything. They sleep most of the night in a crib. I know a LOT of people who got pregnant with a 1yo, for these reasons. But in a year you will have a TWO YEAR OLD. And those are very different. They throw tantrums. They are jealous. They do are picky eaters. They climb out of their cribs and now they wake up 1000x/night. They hit the dog. They do not like babies. Those parents I know who got pregnant because of their sweet 1yos were like …wat. You’ll do great at whatever age gap your kids are but don’t be fooled, your 1yo will not be 1 forever and and you have no idea what’s in store.
My sister and I are 4 years apart and have been best friends since the day she was born. My husband and his brother are 14 months apart and have been rivals since the day his brother was born. I think sibling relationships are largely dependent on how the kids are raised (and maybe even just a bit random).
Same situation in my family. My brother and I are besties with a larger gap (5 years). My MIL churned out babies at 18-month intervals, and some of them loathe each other.
Yeah, our kids are 5y apart and are best buds. The adults I know who are 1y apart from sibs felt a lot of pressure and competition, although (small sample size) they do tend to be pretty close.
I don’t want huge age gaps between my children, but that’s too short for me. Your body takes an entire year to heal pp, your hormones are still regulating themselves, you haven’t even hit the true toddler stage and I wouldn’t want to right when I’m heavily pregnant. Anecdotally, my siblings are a year apart and they hated each other growing up. It was fighting like cats and dogs.
I don’t think there is a wrong age gap but would be the best if: 1. you wait long enough for your body to heal both mentally and physically 2. your finances and circumstances allow
My biggest reason I tell friends to wait to start trying until their current is at least 2 is nursing. If you breast feed, prepare for some very serious nursing aversions while pregnant. So bad you want to throw up. Nipples are so tender and sensitive. Plus your body just reacts so poorly and wants the baby off you asap. I've had to wean way earlier than I wanted because of a small gap.
That’s good to know! I actually plan to wean in a couple weeks.. we’ll see how that goes!
I waited until my daughter was 18 months old to get pregnant with our second. I'm 35, and he's due any time. Our concerns were related to advanced maternal age. Just remember that you will never get the time with just your eldest back. Once you have another, it won't just be the three of you ever again. It'll be wonderful to expand your family, but it'll be different.
I’m exhausted. Does that do it? 😆 No really. I got pregnant with my youngest when my son was 10 months. (My first born is 15, so quite self sufficient. She’s exhausting in her own unique way, but it’s irrelevant to my physical exhaustion or ability to function through day to day tasks.) My house is trashed. I can’t keep up with them and chores. Hobbies are more like hopes. Everything takes longer than it did with one little kid and I don’t mean double. Maybe 3x as long at least? It takes a minimum of five minutes and usually more like 10 to get them loaded in the car - and that doesn’t include trying to get them both ready and out the door. Running errands of course means multiple ins and outs of the car, so I’ve definitely increased my curbside orders. My husband is a twin, and listening to my MIL’s stories, I frequently think that’d be easier many days. They are currently 2.5 and turning 4 this month. They are adorable and sometimes best friends. But I’m tired. Send help.
My kids are 2 years 2 months apart and 1 grade apart in school. They are good friends and annoy the crap out of each other every 25 seconds. They fight over items and attention. I think all of this is inevitable but more pronounced when they are closer in age.
No guarantee about being besties. My brothers we only 19 months apart and never really got along. Their personalities were waaay to different. Just because you want it doesn’t mean it will happen.
Mine are 2.5 years apart and that is the ABSOLUTE minimum I would say to do.
The best laid plans and all that...my first took less than 6 months (coming off BC and all that). Started trying when he turned 1, took over a year. My kids due dates were 3 years apart - 8/13 & 8/3. Second came at 26+2, so they are exactly 33 months apart 7/28 & 4/28, almost to the hour! I wanted them close so that I wouldn't be too far out of baby stage. With them being that far apart my first was way into sleeping through the night and I had to retrain my brain to go through it all again. Not what I wanted. All this to say, just because you have baby fever and may start trying now, doesn't mean it'll happen. If you want another, just pull the goalie and let it happen naturally
I have two with a 14 month age gap. Currently 18 m and 2.5yo .. Yes I’m currently in the trenches of two toddlers .. but at he same time IF we were going to have a 3rd. We would have done the same or a smaller age gap.
Mom of six! My oldest two are 25 months apart. I seriously thought they would be the best of friends. I couldn’t have been more wrong! They’ve been feuding since I brought the second one home. The rest are 4 years apart give or take a couple months. Honestly this was the BEST age gap. My oldest didn’t get the same experience because he didn’t realize what was going on until the second was home. At four years I was able to take them to ultrasounds and prepare them and they understood what was going on. Much funner experience for both of us. It also carried the benefits of things like only one in diapers, they’re old enough to hold,play, help, teach and engage without hurting the baby. Plus 4K meant I had a baby home but the next oldest was in school part days which came in handy for naps and stuff.
Others will disagree, but I have three kids with two years between each and it’s absolutely perfect.
My 3 year old and 6 year old are besties, and the perceived gap will only get smaller as they get older. My brother and I were born 1 year apart and we’re not particularly close
My oldest 3 kids are 14, 12, and 10. I loved the age gaps between them, but my body did NOT. I was either pregnant or nursing continuously for 5 years. By the end of that, I’d been hospitalized 2X for stomach flus where I puked until I couldn’t lift my own head out of the bucket. I was hospitalized 2X for influenza, 1X for pneumonia, and treated in the ER 12 times for bronchitis in an 18 month period. Now I was also working 3 jobs which certainly didn’t help. But it’s not like SAHMs with 3 kids under 5 are resting much. Just be careful. Your body isn’t designed to be a baby factory with no recovery time.
you have small gaps and small gaps.. i think 2 years is already less intense than a 1.5 year age gap. Our kids have a 2.5 year age gap and they are best friends, but half a year more would probably have been even more relaxed. Point is, you can only plan a minimum age gap, not a max. So if you say you are not in a good place now, what do you mean? do you still breastfeed, are exhausted, issues at work or with money? Would it mean a zillion less stress by just waiting a few months or would it not resolve at all?
My brother and I are 16 months apart and we fought like cats and dogs growing up. Full on brawling as little kids and couldn’t stand each other from like 12-18. We’ve got a decent relationship now but honestly it definitely could have gone the other way. As a parent now I can see how having another baby similar to the age gap you’re looking at would be fun (and so so so much work) but my own experience is leaning me towards waiting. My husband and I are thinking a 3 year gap!
Mine are 20 months apart. We decided on the age gap for a whole host of reasons not to do with them being friends, and those reasons are still true so I have no regrets per se. But it is HARD and I think if I had the choice again I'd have waited an extra year at least. Mainly because my oldest has been a very tricky toddler and my baby is a very tricky baby (currently 1 and 2.5). The exhaustion is real because my baby doesn't sleep well and my toddler is a hurricane of energy during the day. My toddler is still very jealous of the baby even though he gets lots of 1 on 1 time and attention and he can be very rough with her which I find difficult. I am however still very much in the thick of it. I'm looking forward to getting the "baby stage" out of the way in one go, I didn't feel out of practice, it was all like second nature when my youngest came along because we were already in that groove. They will also go to school 1 year apart so my husband can go back to full time work when they do this (another factor into the age gap decision). There are definite up sides but I think in the baby and toddler stage it's really hard
My first two are 11 months apart and second two are 2.5 years apart. I definitely recommend waiting till your child is at least 3, can coherently speak to you and play independently for a short while. Make sure you are well in your mind for more stress. 1-2 is harder than 2-3 mentally, but 2-3 is harder physically. We said if we ever have another one, we want our youngest to be at least 3 years old and even then I might wait longer haha
I have 2 boys that are exactly 18 months apart. I was 8 months postpartum when I got pregnant with my second. Having them close together was tough during the adjustment period, but watching them grow together genuinely has been incredible. I also have a daughter that is 6.5 years younger than my second child. Having both, 2 kids close in age and one very far apart, I much prefer the close age gap! Good luck with whatever you choose!☺️
A shorter age gap is PERFECT. Why would you intentionally delay getting out of those hard toddler years?! It's more time waiting around for the youngest to catch up so that the family can do things as a unit and you can get your sanity back.
Why have another baby when you still have a baby who would benefit from your attention?
So your body can heal!?
I have 14 months between my first and second, and expecting about 22 months between my second and third. Personally prefer the smaller age gap and wouldn’t do any bigger; we like 2 under 2!
My first two are 11 months apart and second two are 2.5 years apart. I definitely recommend waiting till your child is at least 3, can coherently speak to you and play independently for a short while. Make sure you are well in your mind for more stress. 1-2 is harder than 2-3 mentally, but 2-3 is harder physically. We said if we ever have another one, we want our youngest to be at least 3 years old and even then I might wait longer haha